Chapter Two - Savaged by a Rare and Beautiful Creature
Many thanks to Eights and Smayds for proof-reading.

A week has passed since your first lesson from the light blue unicorn named Matterhorn. Your night with Songbird had been incredible - although she hadn’t returned your calls the day after, you can’t wait to tell your mentor that you had succeeded.

You weren’t entirely sure why you had been so excited to see him again, as your experience with Songbird had proven that his advice was completely useless; but still, you hadn’t seen your own friends in a fair while, and Matterhorn would at least listen. Taking your usual seat at the bar, you buy whiskey on the rocks and wait for the light blue unicorn to appear.

“Gooood evening, Archie!” Matterhorn practically sings, “I’ve got another story for you tonight, and a lesson on picking up the quiet loner girls who are OH-SO sensitive.”

“Uh, great. Matterhorn, I wanted to tell you about last week?”

“Songbird? Yeah, I know.” he replies, casually. You notice that it’s a little weird that Matterhorn knows her name, but assume it was something that the other mares had told him.

“So, what’s this about quiet mares?”

“Well, usually they’re the type to be pretty artsy, but so, so passionate if you can talk your way into the sack with them. One thing I will add though, Archie, is make sure you get rid of any damned pets! I call this play The Brave Fighter. The way that it works? Shy girls usually want the big handsome stallion who can take a beating, but they don’t have the confidence to actually talk to them.”

This was the day after I introduced the element of honesty to the element of banging. My suit had been pretty much ruined in a combination of running through the bush away from her plot-hole husband, and the damage to my suit as AJ had tried to rip it off of me before we did the horizontal fandango. I was genuinely feeling a little too awesome from the whole experience to care where I was going.

“No, I meant what I said.”

When I’d finally finished running, I had no freaking clue where I was. I could see the clear blue sky above me, but in all directions all I could see was trees; and not the apple trees from the farm I’d abandoned - these were those old, gnarled and knotted trees, the kind you see on the cover of horror stories.

I stopped moving for a little while, to look at this tree that had an amazing resemblance to a mare I slept with a couple of months back, and began to hear the rush of water. I figured that I could do with a wash, so I followed the sound to a waterfall feeding into a lake, in a clearing. Before I got close, I noticed this astounding butter-yellow mare, bathing in the water. I could smell herbs on the gentle breeze, and she was half-singing, half-humming this really familiar tune.

She couldn’t see me, but I could see that the local wildlife had taken something of an interest in her - seriously, all sorts of critters were listening to her sing, and I’m sure I saw a humming bird perch on her hoof. Seeing as she had this intense love for nature, I figured that she’d be the kind of filly to have a great deal of care for those around her, and so I decided to come up with a plan.

Whilst I was thinking and watching her, something a bit weird happened - this little critter, a white rabbit who can’t have been higher than about ten inches, came up to me. It didn’t seem to like the fact that I was enjoying the view, so I kicked it.

It started it, the little plothole kicked me, so I kicked it back - only difference being that the bunny vanished into the distance.

Anyway, forming a plan, I watched her for about ten minutes longer.

“Haha, you mean clop? Pfft, please.”

No, Archie, what I did was shred my suit a little more, and slam my face into a tree in the undergrowth just hard enough to give me a shiner and a nosebleed - sure, it stung, but I had a hunch. Yes, Archie - I played a hunch, big whoop.

Anyway, I staggered out into the clearing clutching my head, staggering and eventually falling over next to the lake. The mare almost immediately screamed and dashed behind a rock, and I think I must have laid there with my eyes closed for at least another five minutes before I felt a hoof at my neck.

Usually, I don’t like mares feeling my neck. Throwing their forehooves around me is fine, but actual touching is a little too close to strangling for my taste.

Realising that she was feeling for my pulse, I groaned and rolled onto my back, giving her a nice long look at the goods.

Hey, she looked. I managed to crack an eye open and noticed her face staring at my junk. Yes, Archie - that did actually work, and close your mouth, you’re making ponies look at us as if I just tried to break up with you or something.

I groaned again, and rolled away from her. Clearly I’d caught her off-guard, as she gave this bizarre-adorable kind of squeak and galloped off again to back behind her rock. This was starting to get a bit boring, so I figured I’d “regain consciousness”.

“Hello?” I called, trying to make my voice sound as awful as possible, “Is somepony there? I... I think I need help, I’ve been robbed...”

I saw the tips of her ears, and her soft-pink mane as she tried to peer over the rock.

“Please, I need help, I can see you.”

I then tried to drag myself closer to the water, yelping every couple of feet or so. I eventually got close enough to try and drink, and then had a better idea - I let my head go, and blew a few weak bubbles into the water before holding what was left of my breath.

In a flash, she had hauled me out of the water and tried to force a breath into my mouth. Her lips were really soft, as if she’d moisturised every single day since she was a foal. I opened my eyes, and ran a hoof through that mane. She squeaked again, but didn’t bolt - mostly because I was holding on to her. I let her pull away, eventually, and looked into her massive cyan eyes.

Pay attention to this, Archie - the timid shy ones LOVE the romantic gestures, like staring into their eyes. Also, try to keep yourself square to them when you’re talking to them - it makes you look more masculine and like you’re actually interested in whatever you’re talking about.

“Hi...” I said,

“Are... are you alright?” she whispered, her voice barely heard over the noise of the waterfall nearby.

“No, I was robbed. There were four of them, gryphons.”

“Oh no! They can be so awful to ponies! I met one once and and” she babbled.

“I managed to take one of them, but... they all joined in and I’m so hurt. My hooves ache and I think my nose is broken and-”

“You fought them?” she gasped, “I’m amazed you survived!”

I grinned, and let her go. She took a scrap of my suit, and dipped it in the water nearby - then began to clean me, I faked a little resistance, trying to pull the whole “I’m a big studly stallion, I can do it myself.” thing.

That was when she glared at me.

It was... weird, like y’know, that moment when you’re a kid and your mom has just snapped? It was that kind of look. I froze, and decided it was best to let her continue with what she was doing.

When she finished, she slowly helped me onto my hooves, and we began to walk. I put on a limp, and asked where we were going.

“Your suit was ripped, I wanted to take you to my friend, she’s a designer and a seamstress and she’s very good, if that’s alright with you.”

“I’m feeling a lot better, how about I walk you home, and then you point me in your friend’s direction? I’m Matterhorn, by the way.”

“Oh!” she squeaked again, blushing slightly, “I never introduced myself! My name’s Fluttershy, and-” she glanced around, “Hmm, Angel-bunny was around here somewhere, but I’m sure he’ll turn up.”

I swallowed awkwardly as I connected the dots - obviously the rabbit that took a dislike to me did so because I wanted to go at it like a bunny with his owner.

“Well, I do have my concerns about you, Archie.”

We wheeled around slowly, her still supporting me a little, we walked back to her cottage. It was a pretty place, on the outskirts of the forest I’d lost myself in previously - and even got all the way up to the front door. She looked for that damn rabbit again, but thankfully there was no sign of him. Looking around, I could see that she was definitely deeply in touch with nature - even her house was very natural and organic, and worked perfectly with the surroundings.

I staggered slightly, as we approached the door. She looked at me with a concerned frown.

“Are you sure you will be alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thank you for taking care of me, Fluttershy. It was very kind of you to help a stranger in need.”

I turned, and started to walk un-aided, then made myself fall after a few feet. Amazingly, she caught me before I hit the dirt.

“I know you’re such a strong and brave stallion, but you need rest.”

“I’ll be fine.” I said, before turning back to her, “Although, there is a way you could keep me here.”

“Oh?”

I kissed her. She squeaked again, but didn’t bolt. Slowly, I started to run my hooves all over her, she truly was one of the most beautiful mares I’ve ever had the pleasure of and something told me she was fond of going at it like bunnies, in terms of pos-

Yeah, I know. You’re such a prude, Archie. Anyway, I pulled back.

“I’m sorry, you just seem so nice, and...” I muttered, looking down at the floor, then back up into her eyes.

“Do it again.” she said, to my surprise.

“Would you like to go inside?” I asked, looking at the open door, the stairs up to her bedroom visible. She looked nervous for a few seconds, like she was considering it, and then gave the tiniest nod I’ve ever seen. Just like that, I kissed her again and backed her inside, keeping my eyes open to direct her backwards up the stairs - although her wings kept getting in the way, I’m sure you know what pegasi are like, huh?

“Wait, that’s it?” you ask, raising an eyebrow at Matterhorn.

“Well, you cry like a little filly whenever I get anywhere near the whole sex thing, and let me tell you - Fluttershy was dirty. Dirtier than a nun. I got savaged, bruises and everything.”

“A nun? Wha?”

Matterhorn sighs, and runs a hoof through his mane. He then spins around on the stool to face the bar, and orders another whiskey on the rocks.

“Archie, take a look at your two o’clock, under the TV, the mare with the glasses?”

You glance at her, seeing a light green unicorn writing something, the quill dancing over the parchment in front of her. She’s sat alone, and you wonder how your wingpony is going to help you out this time. Turning back to Matterhorn, he punches you in the face.

“Watch where you’re going damnit!” he yells, pushing you away, towards her. Reeling, you see him give a sneaky wink as he slyly mouths “play along”. He punches you again, and you feel a trickle of blood leak out of your nose as you crash back into her table.

At that point, a pair of large stallions appear, towering over the suited unicorn, and he dashes away whilst they give chase.

“Oh my! Are you alright? What did you do to upset him!?” the mare asks, using her magic to help you up to your hooves.

“I’ll be fine.” you grunt, “He didn’t hit that hard.”

“I’m Peppermint, are you sure you’re going to be alright?”

“Well, now that I’ve met you, my nights looking up again already.” you reply, trying to be smooth.

“Do you get into fights a lot?”

“Not often,” you say, shrugging and unsure as to whether Matterhorn’s tactic was working, “But I hold my own.”

Peppermint levitates a handkerchief out of her saddlebag, and dabs at your nose.

“My apartment is just over the road, let’s go and get you cleaned up, you poor poor thing.” she says, gathering her stuff together and leading you out of the bar - obviously Matterhorn's advice wasn't as useless as you thought...