I sat on a train heading to Ponyville I sat looking out the window and hoping that this trip was worth it. “Now arriving at Ponyville station” The voice over the intercom said as I got up and grabbed my bags.

As I got off the train I looked for any sign of this Princess Twilight and there was this pink girl standing with a sigh saying ‘Kain Black heart’ so I guessed that was the princess or at least somebody working for her “Hello you must be kain black heart I’m Pinkie Pie and I’m here to welcome you. Welcome welcome welcome a fine welcome to-.” she was cut off by my finger going on her mouth.

“Look sweetheart I’ve hand a hard night of drinking my head doesn't need this” I said as her hair deflated slightly before popping back into full bounce

“Okay” she said as she bounced toward the large crystal palace.

“I take it that's where the Princess is” I said taking a guess.

“Yep yep yep” Pinkie said.

As we entered the palace I was greeted by a lavender girl “I take it your Twilight” I took a guess. As she nodded.

“Nice to meet you King black heart” she said

“Please call me captain black heart” I said

“Captain?” Twilight asked.

“You didn’t know I was the captain of the Ventum the fastest airship in the world.”

“You were a captain of a ship? How did you become a King?” she asked

“How did you become a princess?” I asked

“I achieved an ancient spell that turned me into an alicorn.” Twilight said

“Well I killed a minotaur emperor and got his kingdom” I retorted “so all in all I have the better origin” I teased.

“You were the one to end the dynasty of Minos the ‘great’?” she asked

“I wouldn't call him great. Bastard was a slaver and a tyrant.” I said while the way I ruled my kingdom was basicly vegas if it was ruled by the boss from saints row.

“Well that is true he did wage war on pirates”

“I know he was waging war on me... do you know anything about me other then my name?” I asked.

She took a few steps back speaking to herself before going “No I thought you were...” she was cut off.

“Like what?” I asked as I went uncomfortably close to her face. “Some Kind of pompous canterlot asshole who has never heard of hard work in there life?”

“N-no” she said looking like she was on the verge of tears.

As I was about to lay off her a small dragon came out wearing an apron “And who’s this little guy” I asked.

“I’m Spike, Twilight’s number 1 assistant.” he said.

“And how much you get payed?” I asked having a weird feeling in my bones.

“Why do you want to know that?” Twilight asked.

“Look sprinkel” I said.

“Sparkle” Twilight corrected.

“Sparkle I want to know because the last time I saw somebody, and don’t correct me by saying somepony, his age working for somebody it was as a slave and you know what I did to them?” I asked as she took a step back. I pulled out my pistol and asked again “How much does he get paid?”

“25 bits he gets paid 25 bits a week for his chores” she said crying.

“Good to know” I said putting my gun away. “I wasn’t actually going to hurt you.” I said as she calmed down.

“Hey what are you doing?” A voice said as I was kicked by a rainbow lesbian.

“GAH” I said as I was kicked.

“RaInbow stop!” Twilight shouted.

“What he had something to your head” the rainbow lesbian said.

“He’s also the king of a country” She said.

“What?” the rainbow lesbian said.

“Yes I’m a king of the mino’s Island” i said “In other words you’ve just attacked a king...looks like you won't be joining...oh what's that group of flyers wonder colts or something?” I asked

“Wonderbolts?” Twilight asked

“Yeah them looks like you won’t be joining the wonderbolts...unless they take-” I was cut off by Rainbow jumping to my feet and begging.

“Please don’t tell the wonderbolts I’m sorry” she said begging at my feet

“Wow, and I was saying that as a joke” I said “ I’ve had worst first introductions, you should have been there when i first met Celestia long story short I shot, cut, blew up and stabbed her” I said as Twilight and rainbow looked horrified.

“You what?”

“Okay to give you the full story” I said as I began to tell her about my first encounter with Celestia

[hr[

Three years have passed since I arrived in this strange furry world, I had gained momentum as I became more powerful, where I had started with one crew and one ship I now had seven ships each with a captain and full crew. I also had gained abilities from placing the Eye of Orisa in my skull, now I stood on Canterlot mountain looking for a mercenary group that could help me in this next raid on a slaver island. But as I looked at the route behind me a guard came up to me “Stop right there.” The guard said

“Is there a problem officer?” I asked

“Yes you’re Kain Black Heart, Pirate.” the guard said.

’Aw crap let's hope I can bullshit my way out of this.’ I thought to myself as I said. “No you're mistaken my name is David” I said before trying to leave.

“I won’t buy your lies Pirate.” he said grabbing my arm.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” I said as my eye glowed.

“You're coming with me.” He said as I punched him and started to run.

“Oh no you don’t.” He said as he took to the sky’s.

‘Aw crap baskets.’ I thought as I ran into a group of people and readied my flintlock pistol before the crowd disperses “Come and get me bastard” I shouted as I was done running, He dove at me grabbing me and making me drop my gun I retort by grabbing the sword on his side and stabbing him with it repeatedly. As we fell to the ground he let me go and fell into a house, I landed next to my gun which I picked up as I got up off the ground “ANYBODY ELSE TRYING TO TAKE MY BOUNTY?” I called out as everybody backed away “That's what I thou-” I was cut off.

“Murderer!” Somebody shouted.

“Oh great and who has the ball to fight?” I asked and saw this white winged unicorn in golden armor. “Great and who are you?” I asked

“I’m am Princess Celestia Ruler of this kingdom and the one who will bring down pirates like you” she said.

“Oh by the way Orisa was wondering what happened to Luna” I said as she got all red in the face.

“YOU DARE DEFILE MY GUARDIANS TOMB!” she screamed as I just shot her in the head.

“There that was easy” I said as I began to walk away.

“You're going to need to try header then that pirate” Celestia said as I turned around to see her get up from having a bullet to the head.

“So you're like me huh?” I said as she cut me off.

“I’M NOTHING LIKE YOU” she screamed as she cut me half with her sword. “And that's how you deal with a pirate” she said as she started to leave.

“Not yet” I struggled to say as my two halfs started to reattach

“How?” she asked.

“Like I said you're just like me, Immortal.” I said as I charged my sword “Well I was saving this for a better time but ‘FINAL WAVE’” I shout as I slash the air creating a energy wave in the air then shooting at it with a charged bullet. Celestia took full blunt of the attack as she got engulfed in an explosion.

“Well that settles that you're not walking away from that” I said walking away from the smoke but before i could take a few steps I heard footsteps running behind me and before I could turn I was impaled by a horn through my gut. “GAH!” I quickly grabbed grabbed the top of her head and pulled of my gut from her head.

“Princess let us help you.” a guard said.

“No get the ponies out of here” she said as I fired a shot into her horn cracking it before I pulled out my sword and sliced through the weakened bone. I grabbed the broken bone and stabbed her in the gut.

“And stay down” I said as she kneeled to the ground. I quickly tried to leave as I did want to get to my business here but as I started to leave

“What's wrong Pirate afraid of a little fight?” She asked as I just looked at her.

“Lady you have your horn in your gut. GO SEE A DOCTOR!” I shout at her.

“I'll go see the doctor when you're behind bars.” She said as she grabs her sword.

A few hours passed as we took attack after attack, blow for blow till we were both at our knees tired. “Are you tired yet” I asked barely standing up.

“I will never bow to you” she said as a guard came up to her.

“Princess...” the guard said.

“Take him” Celestia said.

“No.” I said getting un as a blue light enveloped my right eye and I disappeared.

“What?” Celestia asked as she saw me on a nearby roof, “After him!” The princess ordered asI began to run away from the guards.

As I made it far enough I stole some clothing off a clothesline and hid my sword and hid in a crowd waiting for the guards to pass. “Where did he go?” a guard asked as I made it to the home of the Iron bull the head of mercenary group I was planning on hiring.

“Yes?” the Iron bull said whom I was surprised was actually a zebra.

“I believe I had an appointment, sorry I'm late.” I said

“Ah captain Black heart yes come in.” The Iron bull said

“Thanks oh and if any guards come by tell them I’m not here.” I said as I entered his home.

“Why would guard's be after you?” The Iron bull asked.

“Long story, turns out the princess is hard to kill.” I said.

“Why would you try to kill the princess, is that what you're hiring me for?” The iron bull asks worried.

“No I need renforcement going after a plantation full of slaves.” I said.

“Ah, so why did you try to kill the princess?” The Iron bull asked

“Because she was trying to kill or at least capture me for my bounty” I paused for a second “and I may have raided some of her ships” I said as he looked at me “What? I’m a pirate. Sue me.” I said

---

“And that's how my first meeting with Celestia took place” I said as they looked horrified.

“Why did you stab her with her own her own horn?” Rainbow asked

“Because I shot it off and had no idea what to do with it” I said

“Does anybody want any spinach puff?” Spike asked not having any clue what we were saying.

“Sure I’d love some” I said grabbing one as they looked at him

“What?” he asked

“Its nothing I was just telling them how I first met Celestia”

“Oh I’d love to-” he was cut off by Twilight giving him a look “or maybe not.” he said as I ate some of the spinach puffs

“These are good” I said stuffing my face.

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