Everything seemed normal this morning I was about to leave my safe house when I turned on the car radio and heard that it was chaos in the streets, there was looting, rioting and other things that are associated with the end of the world. I was lucky enough to have went to check my supplies at my safe house at the edge of town last night and fall asleep here, my friends all laughed at me when I told them I had a safe house... there probably all dead unfortunately, anyway I spent the time hiding in a corner holding my gun hoping nobody would come near here, because most likely they would try to kill me for my supplies.

Hours passed as I began to drop my guard that anybody would come and left my corner to grab food and turned on the radio and let it play whatever was on. “Attention listeners, this is Chet Ubetcha coming with the local report its chaos in the streets as end of the world rioters and looters are everywhere it's truly the end time for us all and...” The feed was cut off by gunshots and I could only guess what happened next as I turned off the radio and listened to music on my phone for the next few hours before the battery died. I really should have put a generator or a car battery rig job in here...

“I should get some shut eye.” I said to myself as I went towards the the bed. It was getting pretty late anyway hopefully this whole thing blows over soon. But as I closed my eyes I heard something that made me jump. When I looked around I saw that I wasn’t in my safe house anymore, but a white void. “Hello?” I called out as there seemed to be nobody there.

“Hello my son.” A rather loud voice called out as I looked around not seeing anybody.

“Okay either I’m hearing the voice of God or I’ve gone crazy.” I said.

“No it's the first one.” The voice which identified as God said.

“Okay ‘God’ where am I?” I asked.

“Well David congratulation you’ve passed the test.” God said.

“Okay what test?” I asked.

“You’ve heard of the Mayan Calendar right?” God asked.

“Yeah...Oh that was the test.” I said.

“Yep your a fast learner.” God said.

“So what's the reward?” I asked knowing that there had to be a reward.

“Well you could return to earth or you could gain power and travel to a new world” God said. A ball of light formed in front of me, quickly turning into an elderly man dressed in… a trench coat and grey jeans? “This look is a personal favorite.

“Okay I’ll bite what happens if i chose to go to a new world I have family and friends here that will notice I’m gone.” I said.

“Well if you decide to go to another world I’ll create a clone of you to replace you while you head off on your adventure.” God said.

“Okay I want Immortality and Jack Sparrow's compass” I said as God took a step back.

“Are you sure you want Immortality you do realise that you will never be able to head to Heaven, hell or purgatory ever right?” God asked.

“I’m aware you said power I want Immortality” I said as I started to glow.

“Is there anything else?” God asked.

“I could stand to learn how to use a gun and sword.” I said as a sharp thing stabbed me in the back of my neck. “GAH!” I screamed “What was that for?” I asked rubbing the back of my neck.

“You did asked to learn how to use a sword and gun I just gave you hundreds of years of knowledge in a second.“ God said.

“You could have warned me.”

“You're immortal now get use to pain both physical and emotional.” God said rather coldly. “Now what world do you want to go to?” God asked.

I thought about it for a good minute before saying “You know what, you pick a world for me.” I said as a pair of new clothing floated in front of me.

“Your new clothing.” God said. As I started to get undressed and put on the pirate clothing.

“Why Pirate clothing?” I asked while holding the cutlass that the clothing came with.

“It's going to help you fit in in the world you're going to.”

“Is it a One Piece world because if it is want to arrive on top of the One piece.” I said wanting to screw over Monkey D Luffy bastard spent over five hundred episodes looking for the damn thing and still hasn't found it.

“No, this isn’t a One piece world.” God said as a door opened up in front of me and I walked in.

As I walked out of the door I looked around and saw that I was in an alleyway. As I walked out of the alleyway I was surrounded by furry people, before I could react I saw some bull people chasing after a bird girl, I would have ignored it as it wasn't my business until I overheard one of the Bull men shout, “Come back here slave!” That's when I ran towards the bird girl and the Bull men. “Get back here slav-” The bull man was cut off by my sword entering his head, before I could react to killing somebody I was hit by the second bull man’s fist knocking me to the ground and dropping my sword.

Before I could react the bull man grabbed my sword and plunged it directly into my chest “That takes care of that nuisance, now back to the slave.” The bullman said as he turned his back to me as I got up he looked around for the Bird girl so he didn’t notice me until I plugged my sword into his back. “How?” he asked as he died.

I simply stood over him rummaging through their corpses disgusted people passing me, but soon enough I found two bags of gold coins and some throwing knives. “Now where did that bird girl head off to?”I asked myself as I saw her cowering behind something. “You can come out now the Bull Men are dead.” I said as she came out of her hiding spot.

“They were called Minotaurs.” She said.

“Okay the minotaurs are dead, now we probably should get out of here as I did hear mentioning of some guards coming.” I said as she just stood there. “What are you waiting for, there going to return you to slavery.”

“What's the point in running?” She asked all sad like. Before I could answer I grabbed her hand and began to run away from the men in the golden armor. ”What are you doing?” she asked

“Saving your life.” I said as I pulled out my compass which lead us to a large ship. “Let's hope there is nobody on.” I said as we got onto the ship seeing the deck abandoned. “I guess everybody was on-” I was cut off by my sword to my throat by the Bird girl. “Okay, why?” I asked.

“Because I know you're working with them, why else would you chose the biggest slave ship in the known world.”

“This is a slave ship?” I asked as the blade got closer to my neck.

“Don’t lie to me.” She growled.

“Look I’m telling you I’m not... Aw crap.” I said as she looked confused as I ran to the board and tried to knock it into the water. “Could use some help here.” I said as she realised what I was doing and helped me knock the plank connecting the ship to the dock into the water causing the guards to have to jump onto the boat and climb up which made me realise that they were horse people. I quickly kicked one of the guards into the water where I watched him struggle to climb back out of the water before sinking down that a third person I’ve killed today and what was the stipulation for coming here...oh right be peaceful why do I have the feeling God's pissed at me. Before I could dwell on it I saw a rope connecting the Boat to the dock which prevented it from sailing off, I held my Cutlass and ran towards the rope knocking another guard into the water where he drowned make that four people that I’ve killed today, as I cut the rope the boat started to drift off towards the open area of the port. “Bird Girl get to the help and steer this ship.” I said kicking another guard into the water that makes five kills today.

“That's not my name, but fine.” She said as she ran towards the helm of the ship to grab the wheel but a few guards tried to get in her way.

“Oh bloody hell.” I said as I ran towards her tackling a guard into the water before attacking two guards that knocked me to the ground as felt something in my back pocket I quickly pulled it out and saw that it was a flintlock pistol with a note on it saying that it was a magic pistol I had no other choices so I aimed the gun and fired at one of the guards causing his head to explode and causing the guard beside him to drop his weapon and surrender. After killing the rest of the guards which brought my kill count for the day in the mid twenties I decided to check up on bird girl. “So what is your name.” I asked.

“My master calls me birdy.” she said.

“Well your master’s not going to call you than anymore what’s your real name?” I asked.

“I don’t know all I’ve known is Birdy.” she said.

“Well let me come up with a new name for you.” I said as I thought of a new name she had a german accent so I thought of a german name. “Greta?” I asked as she snapped at me.

“Why do you want to give me a name anyway, you trying to own me?” She snapped.

“What no. It's just nobody should have to live as a slave.” I said as she just went to the backboard of the ship or whatever the back part is called and cried.

“Why do you want to help me you don’t even know me?” she asked through the tears.

“Because nobody should live as a slave.” I said noticing a collar on her how I didn't notice it earlier was beyond me. “If you want I can remove the collar.” I said as she backed up against the wall.

“No no no no no, its cursed, if anybody other than the original person that put the collar on me tries to remove it the person will die.” She said as I grabbed the collar and with a smirk I pulled it off.

“See nothing happ- GAH” I shouted as I fell to the floor screaming in pain. After a good five minutes I died.

“No no no no please wake up you saved my life you can’t die on-” she was cut off by me screaming and getting up from the floor.

“That hurt!” I shouted as she looked at me before hugging me.

“Thank you! Thank you!” She said as she jumped on me and stuck her tongue down my throat, I jumped pulling her back. “What was I too rough?” She asked.

“No, I was just wondering why you kissed me?” I asked.

“You saved me from slavery, I am your’s forever now.” she said.

“I just freed you from slavery so now you're my slave?” I asked “That doesn’t make any sense.” I said.

“What no!” she said “It's an honor thing my former master once told me, well he was mocking me about it, that griffons have a special honor thing that when they find their ideal mates they bond forever.” she explained.

“Okay before we do anything else I need to do something.” I said.

“What?” Greta asked as I leaned over the side of the and started vomiting my stomach out before I got back up “Are you okay?” She asked.

“I’m fine it's just something that's been building up since I killed that first minotaur.” I said.

“You’ve never killed before?” she asked.

“No.” I replied coldly. “Anyway we should check the cargo you said this was a slave ship right?” I asked.

“Yes why?” Greta asked.

“Because we may have a crew on our hands.” I said with a grin.

When we went down into the cargo hold we found a few of the ship's crew but they were quickly dealt with mostly after killing a few of them the rest surrendered and agreed to join my crew, as I went into the slave pens I saw some unicorn men, winged horse men, some griffons, some dog girls and even some minotaurs. “Alright everybody here I’m the new Captain of this ship and you have two options join my crew or get dropped off at the nearest port.” I said.

One of them simply asked. “And why should we follow you?”

“Simple I’m the guy that can remove your tracking collars and live.” I said as they all looked skeptical. “I'll prove it.” I said as I used the keys to open one of the cells and dragged one of the dog girls out into the open where everybody could see me remove the collar and scream in pain. “I never said it was painless.” I said as the dog girl jumped on me and started licking me.

“Me so happy.” she said between licks before Greta pulled her off me.

“Hey, he only has room for one mate.” Greta said.

“Thanks Greta.” I said as I got off the floor.

“In Diamond Dog tribe alpha have many mates” The dog girl said.

“I’m guessing some of you where used as sex slaves?” I guessed as the dog got out of Greta’s grasp and hugged my arm with her tail wagging. I turned to her and asked, “Could you let go I have to free more of you.” I said as I went to remove the collars from the rest of the slaves.

As an hour passed my crew was filled and I had a few more ‘mates’ as they called themselves out of the dog girls and some of the female griffons and we had a destination for those who wanted to simply head off to dry land. Vanhoover port.

The next few days were rough as my ‘mates’ wanted a piece of me in bed and keeping seven women happy was not an easy task with keeping a crew on task as well but I managed to get my crew to Vanhoover. “Okay Greta, I’m going to sell these spare guard armors we have for food money. You stay here and make sure the ship and the crew don’t venture off to far.” I said as I took two of the minotaurs to help carry the armors to the pawn shop.

“Okay sir.” She said as she trained using the throwing knives I gave her as I had a gun for range combat but anyway the walk to the shop was easy convincing the man behind the counter to take the golden armor wa sa little hard but we did get a decent amount for the armor and that was all that mattered, we took the gold coins back to the ship where there was a meek unicorn talking to Greta.

“Is there a problem?” I asked.

“Yes are you the owner of this ship?” The unicorn asked.

“Yes well it seems that your paperwork is missing for your ship I’m sure this is just a mistake but I’m going to have to ask you to come with me just to fill some paperwork.” The unicorn said as my two minotaur companions started to crack their knuckles.

“It’s okay I can handle this just return to the ship.” I said as they walked up the ship.

An hour later I returned to the ship with official paper work saying that the ship was mine so we could start on remodeling the ship from a slaver ship to an actual pirate ship. I gathered my crew to talk with them. “Okay crew we have a lot of golden coins what should we do with them?” I asked. Some of the responses were spend it on rum or women while others didn’t understand the question. “Okay what would help us in the long run?” I asked.

Again there responses where booze and women, but Greta figured out what I meant. “Upgrading the ship?” she asked.

I clapped my hands. “Yes that's what I was hoping you'd say.” I said as Greta smiled while the rest of the crew looked confused. “What?” I asked.

One of the minotaurs spoke up. “We wanted booze.” He said.

“Well if there is money left we can get booze.” I said as the rest of the crew cheered.

The rest of the month was spent in the port waiting for the ship to be finished as we finally set sail and do some pirating. “Okay judging from that ships flag that is a Minos empire ship which means we can attack it as it probably has treasure on it.” I said looking through a telescope. I jumped down from my post on the lookout. “Ready the crew.” I said to Greta as the men readied the weapons we took from those guards and the former crew of this ship. As our ship got close we faked an emergency to get close to the ship, as the crew of the opposing ship got on our ship we sprung our trap. “Hello, I’m assuming you're the captain of this fine vessel?” I asked, pointing the the ship we were robbing.

“I am, and I’m guessing your pirates.” The captain said “So what do you want pirate?” He asked with venom in his voice

“Simple, to parlay you have two options the first and easiest is to surrender the loot your carrying then you will be sent on your merry little way, or the second and fun option is we kill you all and just take what we want.” I said.

“How about I take the third option where me and my crew kill you scum and-” His words were cut off by me blowing his head off.

“You heard him men! He chose the fun option, kill them all!” I ordered as my pirates ran across the boards separating my ship from there’s and met with them men for men. After the battle we counted the coins and found a treasure map. “Well this could prove interesting.” I said as we continued to inspect the ship.

More months passed as we looted from more of the Minos empire’s ships as well as some Equestrian ships we were making a killing though we did lose some men here and there... I’ve even been killed once or twice but we were making good money, we even found an island that was out of the way of the trade ships to make a pirate base. Though I heard the Minos emperor has placed a bounty on our heads. And from what I’ve seen my bounty is pretty high.

Meanwhile in the Minos Empire.

“Why haven't these pirates been found!?” The emperor demanded.

“I don’t know sire.” The lowly grunt said.

“I will not have my slave operations in the coastal regions be threatened by some lowly Pirates!” The emperor screamed.

“Don’t worry sir we have the entire Navy looking for them we’ll catch them soon.” the grunt said.

“Good this little nuisance will not threaten my empire.” The emperor said.

“And that's how the Minos empire fell to a group of pirates.” the tour guide finished as I walked out of the museum and towards the canterlot palace.

“Halt!” The guard ordered.

“It's alright I’m expected.” I said

“And why should I believe that a drunk bum like you is expected?” The guard asked as I rolled my eyes and pulled out the card saying that I was expected. “I’m sorry sir, right this way.” The guard said as we entered the castle.

With special thanks to Bio, Fear ripper, Xinrick andLancerot