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Paging Doctor Sparkle!

by Quillamore

Chapter 18: Episode Eighteen: Becoming the Mask

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Twilight Sparkle, M.D.
Ponyville Hospital, Day 47, early morning

Few things in this world are an exact science. Figuring out that I needed to stay in Ponyville wasn’t one of them, and the mission that would allow me to do so wouldn’t be one either. But, at the very least, the circumstances that led to this mission were.

This time of year, feather flu runs rampant across most of Equestria, and despite the name, it can infect far more than just pegasi. In Equestria’s early years, it infected entire cities like a plague, but thankfully, our land’s innovative doctors struck again, as they always have. Now, as long as at least three-quarters of a city’s population receives the feather flu vaccine, the chances of catching the virus are almost minimal. The percentage of ponies that actually receives the vaccine is often far larger than the 75% doctors recommend, largely out of fear of catching the virus, but also because my patients tend to assume I’m making a Ponyville-style pun whenever I mention “herd immunity.” Of course, the feather flu vaccine isn’t always precise or up to date with the latest strain, but in many cases, that isn’t where the problem lies. It often lies with the fact that it is an exact science, and therefore, it will never allow for even the slightest of failures.

All week, I’ve heard various rumors about how Ponyville’s feather flu vaccines got contaminated, but almost all of them center around unsterilized vials. Ponyville, for the most part, does its flu vaccines in-house, which would have been immediately suspicious to me if I didn’t have so much faith in Fluttershy’s skills. Don’t get me wrong, there are still plenty of things that annoy me about this town, but for such a small place, it has a surprisingly good pharmacist--or pharmaromatherapist, as she would insist on being called. Many believe that Fluttershy’s new intern, a well-meaning but frequently clumsy pegasus by the name of Derpy Hooves, mistakenly poured the vaccine into pre-used containers, but though many things have changed about me, I am still not one for small-town gossip. And so, as usual, I’ve filtered through all of that and thought through my next plan of attack.

The instant I come to work on vaccination day, I notice that the lines are practically stretching all the way through the door. Apparently, it’s a town custom in Ponyville to be at the hospital even before the doctors themselves on days like this. From the way I hear the ponies chit-chatting, it almost seems like they see it more like a Daring Do midnight premiere than a routine medical event. A few of the typical anxious ponies who despise shots are here, but for the most part, it’s almost like ponies are fighting over who’s going to get the shot first.

For a minute, I think it’s because they all want to be the first to go home and go back to bed, but then I see Rainbow Dash actually dressed in full Daring Do cosplay.

“The bookstore’s that way,” I say to her, trying my best to help rather than laugh my head off at the ridiculous situation.

“I know,” she replies. “And if you didn’t spend so much time in that office of yours, you’d know there isn’t even a new book out yet, egghead. Dressing up like this helps Scootaloo with shots, though.”

I’m honestly not really sure how to react to this. On the one hoof, I know my old self would have snapped at Dash for not realizing this when I had to practically pin the filly down for her growth hormone shot. Now, however, I just think it’s kind of sweet, albeit in a very strange way. So I choke down the obvious snarky remark, wish her luck, and move onto my office.

Sure enough, by the time I get there, Sunset Shimmer is already there to block me. From what I can tell, she’s already sent her usual nurse over to begin the vaccination process, and from the minute I see her, I know she’s here with an agenda.

That’s okay. So am I.

I don’t have a very big window of time, and I’m more than aware of that. That’s why I came in earlier than I usually do, because I know I don’t have long before the regular patients come flocking in. Because this is something that’s more important to me than any of that, at least in this moment.

Without warning, I herd her into the first empty room I find and slam the door.

“Sunset, we need to talk.”

“About you coming back to Canterlot National?” she asks with hope in her voice.

“No,” I say, staring her down like a sheriff in an old movie. “About you stepping down.”

For a slight moment, I swear Sunset’s every bit as surprised as I am that I’m doing this. However, as soon as I pick up on it, she simply flips her mane to the side and copies my intent glance.

“What’s there to talk about?” she asks with a tinge of annoyance in her voice. “I thought I’d made it pretty obvious from last time. If Director Celestia won’t let you ride the Canterlot National ladder, then I shouldn’t get away with doing the same thing. After all, there’s no real reason why you had to leave while I stayed. So really, I thought I’d do her a favor and put myself out of the running before she got the chance to find out why.”

She says all of this with such a straightforward face, as if she’s assessing a patient. Yet, from what little I know of her and from the ways I’ve seen ponies react in Ponyville, I know she can’t really be feeling so blase about everything. Even though Scarlet’s really my only reference point right now, and I can’t assume the two would react the same way to everything, I know for a fact that Scarlet would die before she let herself give up such a huge position. It’d be the same as admitting that she could never surpass her family, and while I don’t know what’s going through Sunset’s head, I know it has to be a matter of pride for her, too.

The more I come to terms with the situation, the more I realize that my hypothesis from before has to be correct. Deep down, Sunset feels that she’s inferior to me, and my departure shattered her worldview so much that she’s convinced herself she can never surpass me. With dread, I wonder what I could have done back at Canterlot National to make her feel this way, force myself to remember all the off-the-cuff, thoughtless remarks I made when she was around.

I don’t know what’s sadder--the fact that I could have caused it or that I can’t even remember any conversations I’ve had with her that could have done it. It’s like I only ever used her as a means to an end, considering how I can’t even remember a single friendly chat I had with her.

“I should have known Director Celestia would have tried something like this,” Sunset continues. “Ideally, you wouldn’t have known about my departure until you accepted the position, and by then, it would have been too late. I can tell that would have been easier on the both of us, but Director Celestia’s always felt differently about these sorts of things. Laughter and talking are the best cures to her, and she doesn’t always realize that not all problems can be solved that way.”

At least that’s one thing she isn’t denying. For the director of a hospital as big as Canterlot National, Celestia has always been a little bit too perky for her own good. Back when the two of us were still close--or as close as I’d ever let anypony get to me--we’d even joke about this. I’d even teased her that she’d probably been a fairy princess in a past life. But for once, I actually believe in the sorts of things her idealistic lectures were always about, and it’s that knowledge that moves me forward.

“I don’t care if Director Celestia planned this,” I finally say, “but I’ve changed. I don’t know how I could have made you feel this way, but I don’t want anypony to sacrifice themselves for me anymore. I might not have noticed what was wrong with you before, but I want to change that. And I’ll start by saying this: if leaving you like this is what it’s going to take to bring me back to Canterlot National, I don’t want it. I...I could care less about the leap home!”

I don’t know how I did it, but somehow or another, what was supposed to be a simple request turned itself into something far stranger. I, Doctor Twilight Sparkle, actually came up with a friendship speech on the spot. Personally, I blame it on the magical filly manga binge I had a few nights ago.

“Impress Scarlet by engaging in her hobbies!” Some lot of good that did me.

Anyway, Sunset seems to be experiencing three stages of confusion right now, and her facial expressions are changing accordingly. First, she’s confused that I’m turning down the position, then, she (like me) is confused that I’m actually giving a friendship speech, and then finally--

“What the hay do you mean, ‘the leap home?!’” she says, her voice rising suddenly. “Can you at least say something that makes sense?”

“Sorry. It’s just an inside thing I came up with while I was here.”

“Cool.”

And then, just like that, the conversation suddenly stops short. Sunset’s staring at me yet again, waiting for me to say something, but now, I realize I’m over my head. As great as that speech was from before, I’m still not an expert at getting ponies to open up or anything. So, for the most part, the place just devolves into awkward silence, and eventually even Sunset is looking for an opening to leave.

I watch the clock tick away, and even though it’s only been an hour or so, it feels like I’ve been in here for an eternity. My ever-critical mind doesn’t help matters too much, either.

Focus! Focus! You’re not being tested on social skills! Just get her story, convince her to take your old position, and get out as fast as you can!

“Soooo, did I ever do anything to make you think I was better than you? Be honest.”

“You didn’t have to,” Sunset replies. “You just were. Everypony knew it, too. You were Director Celestia’s prodigy, and I was her charity case. Every time I went in that hospital, the doctors reminded me of that. Not that I was ever jealous or anything. I probably deserved it, and I still probably do.”

She leans her head against the wall, still completely unfazed by the gravity of the situation. Come to think of it, her one-two punch of confusion and anger from earlier was probably the only expression I’ve seen on her face this whole time. For the first time, I wonder if Scarlet and I aren’t the only ones who hide their true emotions when they’re on duty.

“I know you’re not used to this, so I’ll make things easier on you. All the rumors they said about me were true, and they’d never let me forget that. But since you don’t seem like the kind of pony who would have listened to them anyway, you probably don’t know that three of my Canterlot National coworkers went to the same college as me, and knew me at my worst. Back then, I was the type of medical student who thought she was above everypony else, and as soon as I got into that prestigious school, I wanted everypony to know it.”

“Like how I was before coming here?”

“I was so much worse, you couldn’t even conceive of it. Like I said, ponies always just knew you were better than them. I had to force them to feel that way. At first, it was just your typical high school bullying, because apparently six years of college weren’t enough to kill that urge for good.”

I probably shouldn’t do this, but somehow, I can’t help but laugh at that last remark.

“Implying that it ever goes away with some ponies,” I quip.

“That’s true, but it escalated from there. There was this one student that really pissed me off back then, and you know me. I’ve always kind of had anger issues, and so one day, when she really provoked me, everything in my mind just went black. The next thing I knew...that other student was bleeding. The ambulance came and everything. And before long, nopony was really sure if I’d stay in med school much longer.”

Sunset’s not much older than I am, so the event she’s describing has to have happened at least seven years ago. Whatever happened in between then and now doesn’t matter, because to my knowledge, Sunset hasn’t beaten anypony to a bloody pulp since then. What does matter is that, like Scarlet, she’s so focused on something that plagued her in the past that she’d sacrifice her present for it. All because she believes I have a perfect history, because she believes that Doctor Twilight Sparkle doesn’t make mistakes.

“Director Celestia took me in after that, but the damage was already done. She was the only reason I didn’t get expelled from that school, and everypony knew it. That didn’t matter, because by then, I knew I couldn’t trust myself with any high position. A true doctor wouldn’t let their emotions get in the way like that, so wanting to stay in my current post is irrelev--”

“It’s not!” I suddenly shout. “You’ve changed!”

Sunset cocks her head and smiles slightly, and for a minute, I genuinely believe I’ve gotten to her.

“That’s why I’ve always liked you,” she says. “Everypony else back there thought you were prickly, but you were always the one pony who didn’t care about stuff like that. When I first warned you that you might not want to work with me, you just said that you’d work with anypony who’d get the job done.”

Nothing from her. No matter. I’ll try again, no matter how many times it takes.

“That’s not who I am anymore,” I whisper, allowing my vulnerability to color every word I say. “Coming to Ponyville has made me realize that, and I’ve come out better for it. Once I stopped looking at it as a curse, I found friends I never thought I’d ever have, and a marefriend I’d move Equestria itself for. But that’s not why I don’t want to come back to Canterlot National.

“I believe that I could have stayed in both worlds if I’d accepted Celestia’s offer. I could have stayed the pony I am now in the place I used to be. But now, I want to give you that same chance I got months ago.”

I’m chipping away again. Sunset seems to be falling for it this time, but I can’t stop now. I have to make sure that I can stay here, and that she can be herself. And so, I can’t leave things to the uncertainty that Equestria all too often provides. I have to say my purpose loud and clear, as many times as it takes.

“If I changed that much in two months, then I believe that you can change too!”

Author's Notes:

You have no idea how tempted I was to name this part "Sunset Shimmer: Origins." And by that, I mean "I was never really considering this name, but I binged the BNHA sports festival arc while I wrote this, and so the whole Izuku/Todoroki heart-to-heart may have leaked into some of this a little."

Jokes aside, I think this might be the first time I wrote a Paging part as one continuous scene, rather than a series of them. I might even pull an anime-style twist and have the final part continue this scene. But, in any case, I hope you look forward to the exciting finale!

Next Chapter: Episode Nineteen: I Choose to Stay Estimated time remaining: 11 Minutes
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