"I sure wish I could go to Equestria," I said.

My mom looked askance at me. "How old are you, son?"

"Doesn't matter," I said, "In Equestria you never age unless you want to. Everypony there is beautiful forever."

"...Get a job already," my mom grumbled into her wine.

I got up and went to the fridge and poured myself another glass of mom's wine. We were drinking wine together from a big box and having a lot of fun together daydreaming about Equestria. I love my mom.

"Look at this youtube video," I said to my mom. I cuddled up close to her on the couch and showed her this video.

My mom has a broken back so she is fat and can't move around too good. She broke her back lifting heavy furniture when she was doing some bad drugs. She had to sit there and watch my video, so we were all having a good time.

When the video finished, my mom talked again.

"Why are you watching My Little Pony again? I mean... you're a boy! Or, you know, I mean, a man..." She looked at me with some wild eyes, and picked up her wine. "Don't you think it's, like, weird, for you to be watching My Little Pony? You know, since you're a grown man and all?" She took a drink of her wine.

"Oh, Mom," I said, with a laugh. "Poor, silly, naive Mom... My Little Pony transcends all boundaries of race, age, and gender," I said. I wanted with all my heart to explain the shining transcendent beauty of My Little Pony to my mother, so that she could share in my enjoyment of the show's beauty, and be happy like me. "I don't feel weird at all, because for the first time in my life, I see the truth," I said.

My mom stared at me for a second, then she rolled her eyes and sighed. "Whatever," she said, and took another drink. "I guess you've got your own reasons... I shouldn't judge."

"Oh, mom," I said, laughing, "the way you roll your eyes... it's giving me a stiffy!" I spread my legs and showed my mom my stiffy.

"That's more like it, son," said my mom, as she rolled over on top of me, removing her shirt to expose the manifold concentric rings of adipose tissue beneath. The fat flopped out, rolling downhill like an avalanche. "Now take off my pants and fuck your mom like a man."

I was pretty drunk so I started fucking my mom, but then my stomach started to feel weird. "Momma," I said, as I worked the muscles which had for most of my life lain dormant, "my tummy feels weird." I bent down to give my mom a mouth-to-mouth kiss, and I could taste the delicious stink of box wine and cigarettes on her tongue.

"You know what I always say," huffed my mom in between breaths. "If you have a tummyache, just blaspheme the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and it'll go away."

"Okay!" I said. I smiled because I was so glad that my mom and me were finally getting to spend some quality time together. "I curse and blaspheme the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!" I yelled it out loud like a big boy.

All of a sudden, in between my thrusting, my stomachache became a lot harsher and sharper. I pulled out of my mom and I sat down on her lap. "I'm sorry, momma... it hurts... I'm scared." I looked up at her with watering eyes, as she rolled her eyes at me and lit a cigarette.

Then it came.

I suddenly took a massive shit, right there on my momma's lap. The shit went all over the couch but mostly it went into my momma's cooter. I shit in my own mom's gooch!

I was so embarrassed that I closed my eyes and shouted, "I'm sorry momma! Please don't spank me! Waaaah! Waaaaaaaah!" I was really feeling blue because I had taken a dirty diarrhea dump all over my mom while we were finally getting to spend quality time together.

But when I opened my eyes, I was in Equestria!

"Welcome to Equestria!" said Twilight Sparkle, who stood over me.

"W-w-what???" I asked. I was in shock. "H-how did I get here?"

"Oh, that's simple," said Twilight Sparkle. "You wished to go to Equestria, had sex with your mom, blasphemed the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and took a massive diarrhea dump on your mom's gooch, in that order. That's the secret magical spell to get to Equestria!"

"Oh, boy!" I said. I was so overjoyed at this turn of events. "Can my mom come, too? I want to keep having a lot of quality time with her..."

"Of course!" said Twilight Sparkle. "After all, it wouldn't really be Equestria unless you could have all the consequence-free, fetish-fueled orgasms you want, now would it?"

I was so happy that I kneeled down right there and praised Satan for this wondrous miracle. It was so amazing that I wanted to cry.

Now all I had to do was find some more meth, and I would be golden!