I found myself sitting outside in the waiting area, I had been here now a good three hours. The staff had thrown Rarity and I out as soon as they got in the room. Not twenty minutes later, Granny Smith, Big Macintosh in a wheelchair, and Apple Bloom had come in, joined less than two more minutes later by the rest of the girls, including Starlight and Spike.

An hour ago, they had started letting people go see her, one at a time. I had opted to push others before me. They were family and I was not. Of course, this had met with many an argument but I stood fast on my decision.

I looked up as I noted Twilight and Spike walking back into the room. She was glaring at me. I glanced about some and realized every one of the girls, and the Apples, were all doing the same. I huffed out a long exhale, unsure of how to face this. I wasn’t sure now was the time, or how to deal with it.

“Shane,” Twilight said as she came right over and looked me in the eyes. With me sitting and her standing we were just about eye to eye height. “She wants to see you. She is tired, but keeping herself up. She wants to see you very much.”

I shifted my sights elsewhere. “I know. I just... I don’t know how…”

Something slugged me in the arm, HARD. So powerful it quite nearly knocked me out of the chair. I spun my head to see Big Mac drawing back his hoof and he jerked it to point at the room. “Ma sister is in there, where ya know you need ta be too. Stop being so Celestia-damn stubborn!” This caused many of the mares to gasp at his ‘language’. Granny Smith, rather, nodded in agreement, but the look she shot him said he was getting a talking to.

I slowly got up, not saying a word as I headed for the room. I wanted to be furious at Mac, but he was my friend. Deep down, I knew he was right, and likely I owed him for pushing me like that and breaking through my funk. I didn’t look back at the mares, at family. I could feel them all scrutinizing my back. Did they all know? Did AJ tell them?

Opening the door slowly, I took note of the room. The curtains were drawn a bit to keep the afternoon sunlight to a minimum. Applejack had her back to the door, covers had been pulled up around her, though it was clear enough that she was awake. I noticed her ear flick at the noise.

Walking around the bed, I put my hand out and touched her shoulder area lightly, making eye contact with her. “How you feeling?” in a quiet tone.

Applejack gawked up at me. She had a bit of red around her eyes, like she had been crying. “Ah have felt better. How are you holdin’ up, Shane?” Here she was, laying in bed, wounded, damn near had died, and she was worried about me?

“I am okay.”

She frowned and shook her head. “Yer not. Twi told me, Shane.”

I slowly sat down on the chair after reaching back with my foot, hooking it, and dragging it over behind me. Now I could look her eye to eye rather than looking down at her. “I don’t really want to talk about it right now, Jackie.”

Her eyes widened some, and I realized quickly that I had used a term, a nickname for her, only used in my mind. She watched me for a moment, then her hoof came out from under the sheets, reaching for me. I did what came natural and reached up taking it lightly. “Shane, did you mean it?”

Crap. I knew this was coming, and there was no way to avoid it any longer. I looked away, silent, then looked back and gave a nod of my head. “Lord help me, Jackie, I did. I don’t know what it means yet, I don’t know how to deal with it, but I do.”

She gave me a soft smile and I felt that odd phantom grip ponies have in their hooves squeeze my hand lightly. That too was something that had only come over the last month or so. Twilight had theorized that it meant my body had assimilated enough of the local background radiation to counter my own worlds.

Applejack just spent the next few minutes gazing into my eyes, and me back into hers. Then she proceeded to ask a question that jarred me some. “Would she have approved?”

I blinked once, then twice, looking right at the orange pony. I gripped her hoof’s edge a bit harder. Exhaling softly, I thought deeper than I had ever before about that question. I suppose I had sat there for too long, as her ears fell. I immediately saw that and I felt like my heart crashed, like a plane into my chest. I squeezed her hoof even tighter.

“I... I don’t know, but, I would like to think she would have.”

She seemed to take that at face value and relaxed once more. She remained quiet, merely looking where my fingers touched her hoof, before her exhausted voice asked one last question. “Shane, the one that did this ta’ me, he was big, real big. Ah would know him ifn’s ah saw him.”

I knew who she was talking about now. I was sure of it. “You… won’t see him again, Jackie,” I said, sticking to the name. She seemed to like it, so, there is that.

I watched her stare me, looking into my eyes, then she pinned her ears to her skull. “J-just ya tell me true, did ya have to?”

I gave her a nod, and she repaid it. “Ah, don’t know how ah feel about that. They done some bad stuff, but…” she grew quiet, then spoke in a softer volume. “Don’t you tell Bloom, you hear? She is far too young for knowin’ somethin’ like that.”

I gave a nod, and we watched each other until she drifted off to sleep. I stayed there with her for another twenty minutes before I got up quietly and left the room to let her rest, taking note as I strolled down the hall of the guards still in place, seven mares, and one little dragon in the waiting room.

I drug my hat down so I didn’t have to look at them directly, but that was not to be. A blue blur was soon hovering in front of me, and used her hoof to nudge my hat back up again. She was looking at me, ears back, but her chest was puffed out. “What, Dash?”

She slowly settled to the ground and stared up at me. “You going to talk to us?”

I shook my head no. “Not right now, Rainbow, perhaps in a bit, a few days, hours… fuck, I don’t know, okay? I just need to sit and process all this.”

Many ears flattened at the words spoken. Out of the corner of my eye I took note of, Twilight starting to open her mouth, but Pinkie of all ponies shook her head and put her hoof to the lavender alicorn’s lips.

Fluttershy spoke up. “We understand, Shane, but we are all worried too. You are our friend, we just want to know you will be all right.”

I glanced up at her, a half-hearted smile curling my lips. “Thank you, all of you. I, need to take a walk, clear my head. I will go sleep in my bunk tonight so you don’t have to worry, okay?”

Perhaps the most surprising to me was Starlight, who chimed in with a quiet, hesitant manner. “Shane, don’t sit on it too long. Trust me, it just gets worse the longer you keep it bottled up.”

I glanced at her, then nodded gently. Of all the mares, she knew pain, and she understood regret. I had respect for her because of her background.

They all glanced at each other then nodded some. I headed for the door and out, where I was going unbeknownst to even myself, but I needed to walk.

---

I found myself alone out at the far end of town, as far from the farm as I could be. Out past Fluttershy’s place; farther out than her sanctuary was, in fact. I had a small fire going, since it was late fall after all, and the forecast from a few days ago told that the snow would come next week.

I sat there on an old log, looking down at the fire burning in the small ring of stones. I had my old oilcoat pulled close, as well as a flannel on underneath it, and a long sleeve shirt under that. For a time, I was kind of lost in thought, when I heard a noise behind me. I leaped up and spun completely around, my right hand flashed down and gripped the butt of the peacemaker. Two ponies stood there, one with an amused expression, the other mildly shocked.

Dropping my hand off the gun, I exhaled. “Cross, Cort you two should know better than to sneak up on me.”

Cross rolled his eyes some as both unicorns exchanged glances, and looked back at me. “Shane, we have been standing here damn near two minutes.”

I blinked, then sighed. “Sorry, just been... thinking,” as I sat down and gestured for them to join me. Leaning forward, I put another branch into the fire to keep it burning. “What drags you out this way, Cap?”

Cross shook his head as he sat and then turned his head. Pulling open his saddle bag, he tugged free a big bottle of a dark amber liquid with a label on it. “I came down to Ponyville so Miss Belle could measure me for a coat, like the ones you two have. Seems like that is as good a uniform as any.”

I glanced at Cortland, who gave a nod, and then back to the captain. “Your call, Cap, but, yeah, that works just fine.” I reached over and picked up the bottle. “Is this what I think it is?”

He gave a grin as Cortland opened up his bag and produced three shot glasses and set them down on a small flat rock. “Figured you could use a good drink, Shane.”

I looked at the bottle, then up at the two of them and set it down near the glasses. “I don’t drink, but... you know what? I think I may just need one. It ain’t been the smoothest few days.”

Cortland popped the cork on it and soon started to pour a good three fingers of the liquid into the shot glasses. Picking them up in that bizarre way ponies can lift things. He handed one to Cross before he picked up the second one and handed it to me. Holding his up, the captain and I did the same.

“The first toast of the Canterlot Rangers should go to you, Shane,” they both looked at me as I exhaled and gave a bit of a nod of my head.

Pondering words, I spoke in a soft but solid tone. I smirked just a bit and focused on them both. “May you always rise to greet the sun, may you have it at your back in a fight, and may justice always temper your actions.”

I watched them blink, then clink glasses with me and we, as one, gulped the contents down. Holy crap! I hissed out a long breath as it burned its way down, this stuff could be damn near white lightning!

I drew in a sharp breath in again. “Jesus Christ, what is that?!” looking at the glass in my hand.

Cort laughed and turned the bottle. “That there is pure one-hundred-percent apple moonshine. Ain’t something you can find in stores, Ol’ apple fella by the name of Sour Mash makes it, only a few hundred bottles a year.”

I coughed a second time and smirked as the apple unicorn started to pour off three more jiggers. “Well, warn a fella next time. I don’t know if we should be drinking that, or using it to strip paint from a wall with.”

This time, the glasses lifted and Cort spoke. “To bringing justice and harmony to everypony.”

I gave a grunt and chucked the second shot down fast as the first. A long exhale again as I set the glass down and a third round was poured.

When the glasses met this time, Cross looked at us both and said in a somber tone. “To the ones that gave everything and never came home.”

I looked at his face, and I knew. That haunted look, the fact he wouldn’t quite focus on us. I had a few friends back home before the accident that had gone to the sandbox. They had that same look in their eyes.

This shot went down, and I gently set the glass down and turned to the fire. Letting the warmth spread as the sun hung low in the sky. I guessed it had to be four, perhaps going on five, dusk would be soon. I had been out here longer than previously thought.

We sat there watching the sun drop, just as it touched the horizon there was a soft purple flash. I tilted my head, it was the same shade as Twilight's coat. From my right a voice came, somber and soft.

“We were on a patrol along the Gryphon and Equestrian border. Just hit sundown like this, we had another hour to camp. I was talking to Soda Ash, the earth pony sergeant of the company. I was green as green can be, first year out of academy, in fact.”

Cortland and I kept quiet, I did glance over at the unicorn speaking, then back to the fire, letting him tell his mind.

“They hit us hard. Changelings. Soda never knew what hit him, took a spear right through his neck. The rest of us reacted fast, but we lost three more before we could start defending ourselves or attack. There were only five of them, but they were faster, stronger, and had the advantage of being able to alter their shape.”

His eyes were distant, he was there now. Up until a night ago, I would have never known what that was like, now… all I could do was hone in to him.

“Well, I ended up hoof to hoof with one of them. Big fella, bigger than the others. He was strong, and all I had was my short sword. He kept changing into things, bug things with claws long as a pony’s barrel to his dock. No matter what anypony tells you, fights like that all end the same. Two ponies in the mud, dirt, and blood trying to kill each other. He made a mistake, and I got the upper hoof…”

Cross grew quiet again, but we both heard the cork pop off the bottle again. I turned to watch him lift it in his magic and take a swig from it. Setting it back down it floated over to me. I gripped it as he breathed out. “I watched the life leave his eyes, I don’t think I will ever forget that.”

I took a long swig, then coughed and handed the bottle over to Cort. Leaning away, I grabbed another log and slid it onto the fire, watching it pop and crackle as I leaned back on the one I had been sitting on before. “Do you ever stop thinking about it?”

He gave a nod as Cortland took a heavy gulp from the bottle again, and extended it out in his magic to Crossed Swords.

“Takes time, Shane, and talking about it makes it dig at your conscious less every time. Think on that, if it was no big deal, it wouldn’t be bothering you.”

The three of us just sat there and polished off that bottle.

---

At some point, the night grew colder. I had noted Cross didn’t have anything to wear. So I took my flannel off, and luckily it was one of the ones Rarity had made me. I draped it over him as we all talked about whatever it is drunk guys talk about. I had my oil coat and a long sleeve shirt on under it, that would be plenty.

We all had drifted off, but something jolted me with a snap. My head was up, looking around, the glow of the fire almost gone. Just coals burned, so my night vision was at its best under the soft light of the moon. My hand creeped down to my holster again. Guess I was jumpy, but… I had reason, didn’t I?

A voice deep, but kept soft spoke from the shadows. “Forgive me, Ranger McDonald, our night princess bid us watch over you three from the shadows. I did not mean to wake you.”

Still drunk, still tired, I grunted, “S’okay,” and lay my head back down on my arm, tugged my oil coat back over me, and drifted off once more.

Morning came, the sun was far too bright, the damn birds were too loud. I groaned as I sat up, feeling something on my leg. Looking down, I saw Cort’s head rested on it, and a wet spot from where he was drooling. I yanked my leg out from under him and his head smacked the ground. He woke with a start… “Wah, who?” blinking, scrambling to get up on his hooves.

“You drooled on my leg!” Then the pain hit me. God, it hurt! My head pounded and I slumped back leaning on the log I had my back to most the night. “Someone call Celestia and tell her to turn the fucking sun off!”

Another groan came from near us, looking over to see Cross slowly sitting up, his mane matted to his face, he shivered. “Will you two shut up?! Quit yelling!”

I was about to tell him where he could shove his polite good morning, when a voice spoke up.

“Mr. McDonald, what does fucking mean?”

My head turned slowly. Very slowly. I knew that voice, I knew who it belonged to. Sitting there, watching the three of us, were three fillies. Sweetie Belle had this wide, curious look to her face, the other two had their heads tilted.

Cort muttered as the realization struck him harder than the hangover did, “We are so dead.”