I was relieved that the girls weren't… knocked up… The rest of the day went along calmly, I was reading some more history books, Twilight reading a science book, she was leaning against me, it felt kinda nice just to do this. Time was here too, writing some stuff in what looked like a journal. “No… maybe…” She muttered, jotting down something else in her book.

“Something wrong Time?” I ask while looking away from my book. “I mean...besides…” I trail off, remembering what Rarity told me about Time’s nightmares.

“Ever since Core did this to me I’ve been getting small glances of possible future events, and just now I’m finally able to catalog them, though, it all seems like gibberish.” She replied, not even looking up.

“The future is always gibberish.” I say bluntly. “But what do you have written down now?”

“Not sure, it’s like… I see Keyblades, clashing, and that armor guy just taking hits from a guy in a black version of your cloak.”

“Well that doesn’t sound good.” I frown. “But I suppose it’s not unheard of for stuff like that to happen. Fights come to those who want to help those that need it.” I shrug.

“Yeah, but what I hear disturbs me greatly.”

“What do you hear besides the fighting?” I ask curiously.

“The Keyblades crying, screaming ‘not again’.”

“Oh no…” I mutter, my eyes widening at hearing that. “No...there can’t be another one…” I say, shaking my head in worry. “Do you hear anyone else saying anything? Like people talking or just the Keyblades?”

“Keyblades talking, people, they both have a static when I hear it, not much is clear. Though, I did hear…. A name I think?”

“Do you know what the name was? Anything is better than nothing.” I say honestly. ”I hope I’m wrong about this but...a Keyblade war…” I think to myself bitterly.

“I think it was Zeke’s voice, that armor guy, yelling out in anger… Hux… Hux-something…?”

“I’m not sure if he told me anyone with a name like that...but Core seemed to like someone specific as a puppet…”

“... Oh, Huxley. Core often referred to that guy by Puppet.”

“That’s not good…” I frown. “Let’s hope it doesn’t happen...or if I could be able to stop it…”

“I did say ‘possible’, so nothing I see is set in stone. Why do you think I bet on you? I go by what I think was the likely possibility I see.”

“True…” I sigh out. “But remember Time...all of us are here for you…” I say.

“Three.... Two…. One…” She muttered, then a flash of magic blinded me as someone teleported in the livingroom. “Called it.”

“Oh, hey Ben…” Celestia said, so she popped in? My eyes are still adjusting.

“Tia what in thine holy ass are you doing here?” I ask, rubbing my eyes to help them readjust. “And next time can you make your entrance less blinding?”

“Sorry, was in a hurry… well, anyway, I have a question to ask.”

“What is your question princess?” I ask curiously, wondering why she just popped on in.

“Can I… erm… barrow you…?”

“I’m sorry you have to wait in a line of five mares.” I joke. “And before you ask, no you can’t turn me into female.”

“No, not that… I suppose I should elaborate… you see… my parents-”

“OH HELL NO!” Luna’s voice rang from upstairs as she teleported in front of Celestia. “You are going to lie to mom again, and use my boyfriend to do it!”

“Holy hell Celestia can you not? And to be perfectly honest why are you only interested in mares? Just a tad curious.” I ask honestly. “Preferences or one too many bad dates with guys?”

“I’ve always been into mares… but my…” She looked over to Luna. “our parents are… old fashioned… I’ve been hiding my sexuality from them since I was old enough to realize I was a lesbian. I’ve been… afraid of their judgement…”

“Well don’t worry, they’ll fear my judgement.” I say with a smile. “So who are your parents again?” I asks, having literally no idea who the hell they were.

“Our father is named Locus, the alicorn of space.” Luna explains. “And our mother is Faust, alicorn of life.”

”Holy shit they were right.” I think to myself, having seen some fanfiction of Faust being their mother or Faust being the ‘goddess’ of Equestria. “But now Faust will fear me more because she’s a hypocrite. She’s the alicorn of life, yet I have a feeling she hates people who are gay or lesbians…”

“No...” Celestia said. “She doesn’t hate them… she just… as the alicorn of life, she… just finds it sad and unnatural about the whole ‘miracle of birth’ between same sex couples when magic or surrogates are required…”

“And the fainting.” Luna added. “Mother has always been more… nervous about sexual topics, very much more than you Ben, she blushes when normal couples are talked about, same sex makes her faint.”

“Well I can knock her out just by saying ‘sex’ and your father can deal with me back talking the fuck out of him.” I say simply.

“Oh dad is no issue, this is only for mother’s sake.” Luna explains further. “He knows sister’s little secret, but is happy so long as she is.”

I take a moment before groaning loudly and rubbing my temple. “So only the Alicorn of Life has a problem with life getting the chance to...do whatever it wants….for fuck sakes that’s still hypocrisy!”

“Meh.”

“Wait,” Twilight cut in. “I thought you two were found alone near the border of the badlands like in the books?”

“Oh, that’s all crap story tellers made up about us as the ages drew on.” Celestia deadpanned. “The only reason mother and father got together is because they were the only two old alicorns from the alicornian era of equestria to survive… well they didn’t say, but I can imagine it was a war.”

“It’s always war, no matter what you do, no matter what age you're in...it always ends with some good old fashioned, wasteful, useless war that is caused by someone calling a woman chubby.” I say with a shrug. “Or something like that I don’t know where I was going with that, but seriously war is fucking stupid, and rarely gets anyone anywhere in the long run.”

“Look Ben, please, mother has already assumed I’m in this herd with Luna, please just play along, name your price. They won’t even meet you again in your lifetime.”

I think for a moment. “The price can be anything right? Besides sex of course, I wouldn’t want to force that on you.” I say.

“That’s right.”

“Okay...my price…” I start. “I want you and Luna to take off your pants and show me both of your asses. I want to do a little...comparison of sorts.” I say with a perverted smile.

Luna burst out laughing while Celestia looked mortified.

“Ben, sit dog…” Twilight muttered. I think there’s an anime style dark aura around her… and she’s cracking my shoulder bones...

“How about you relax for ten fucking seconds instead of getting pissy.” I growl at Twilight, not liking how she’s suddenly starting to turn evil here. “I am honestly curious, because I’m dating Luna I want to know if Celestia is just as nice, so stop cracking my shoulder bones and let me just do this simple thing that Celestia told me I could do.” I frown, staring down at the pissed off Twilight.

“On one condition…” Celestia said, making Twilight stop breaking my shoulder and causing her to look at Celestia. “I… get to… Kiss Twilight…”

“Say what?!” Twilight stuttered.

“Sure.” I say with a smile. “Whatever makes you happy Celestia, I’m already doing something outside your comfort zone so I’ll allow you to be happy.”

“Do I have any say in this?!” Twilight asked.

“Seems not.” Luna deadpanned, finally breaking out of her laughing fit.

“You cracked my shoulder bones Twilight, so no you don’t have any say in this.” I state as bluntly as humanly possible. “I may be a pervert but I still care about women, and I’ve fought against women, so I know how strong they can be.” I state. “So kiss her already, you probably made out with Zecora or Pinkie while we were drunk so who cares?”

Needless to say, Twilight was about ready to slap me when Luna and Celestia dropped their pants, to which Celestia saved me from a hand shaped slap mark by grabbing Twilight and placing a deep kiss on her… to which when It was over I think Twilight’s brain was fried as she was unresponsive after that. We asked Time and the others to look after her while Luna, Celestia and I went to Canterlot to meet their parents. “Ya know...honestly I couldn’t tell whose was better.” I say honestly. “I mean both of you are very lovely women and anyone would be lucky to have either of you but still.”

“Still not joining Ben.” Celestia said. “This is just an act, then when mom and dad leave, you can go back to deal with Twilight and bone zone my sister and I can go back to my girlfriend.”

“I understand Celestia, I never said you had to, and I will never force you.” I say gently. “I may be a pervert, but I care about a women’s, or mares, decision in life. You can love mares as much as you want and all I can see is a happy and beautiful sister in law. So no need to be all ‘still not joining’.” I say with a smile, suddenly hugging the rainbow maned alicorn happily.

“Thank you, but you did send some mixed signals with what I had to do to get you here.” She said, letting me go as we entered her throne room.

“I’m sorry I find lesbians sexy.” I whisper with a blush.

“That’s part of shy sister is one I imagine.” Luna comments. “The idea of making men watch what they can’t have…”

“That’s just a bonus.” Celestia replies. “They will be here soon, I hope she locked herself up the bedroom…”

“Let’s hope this goes well.” I sigh out.

A guard entered the throne room. “Princess, Locus and Faust have arrived.”

“Thank you, send them in.” Celestia said, she and Luna taking a seat on their thrones. I leaned against Luna’s.

I fixed my silver crown a little bit, making sure it was good. “How do I look?” I ask Luna.

“Iike royalty… edgy royalty…”

The doors opened and what I saw… confused me. They looked like a normal mare and stallion, no wings or horns. The stallion was a silver color with a mane like Luna’s, while the mare looked like a shorter Celestia, but with a red mane. Not even flowing, just flat. “There’s our girls.” The stallion said as he entered.

“Hi mom, dad.” Luna said, smiling with a wave.

“Sir Locus, Madam Faust, I’ve heard so much about you two.” I half lie, smiling at the two normal looking ponies.

“We’ve heard a bit about you as well, White Knight.” Faust said. “I haven’t seen a Keyblade in years.”

“Um...should I even question how you know that?” I ask curiously.

“We never told the girls this,” Locus started. “But we were in the Keyblade war… barely made it out of that chaos when… well, I’d rather not say.”

“How come you never told us this?” Celestia asked.

“Keyblades are dangerous tools Celestia, they cost the mass population of the universe their lives back then.” Faust stated. “We figured it would be best to leave it as story, or legend… seems the truth came out though.”

“That would be a combination of my bad, and Starswirl’s.” I say honestly.

“Starswirl had a Keyblade?!” Celestia asked in shock.

Luna elbowed me. “Ben!”

“She was going to figure it out sooner or later.” I say bluntly. “But don’t worry Celestia, there’s nothing more to that now then just stories. So can we get back to the topic at hand? Like how I’m dating both of your daughters?”

“Yes, the topic of… Keyblades has left a sour taste in my mouth.” Faust said. “So, how did you meet our daughters White Knight?”

“Please, no need for my ‘Hero’ name. Call me Ben.” I say with a smile. “But how did I meet them? Well it started with Luna wanting to meet me after I beat...Heartless…” I sigh out. “Yes, Heartless are around and are attacking places...but Luna was so happy to see me be a hero she just had to have her hands on me…” I say sheepishly.

“Hah, little LuLu just loved those stories of heroes slaying monsters. Not surprised.” Locus said. “She once made her own ‘tower’ out of mud and waited to see if any ‘knights’ would show up and save her.”

“I was nine!” Luna defended, a clear blush across her face.

I gently patted Luna’s head. “You could have just told me.” I smile. “But Celestia? She was kind and nice but didn’t want to be as….forward as Luna. After a few dates she learned to love me and I agreed to date her along with Luna. And I couldn’t be luckier to have both the sun and the moon by my sides.” I smile warmly.

“That’s lovely to hear.” Faust said. “I’m glad Luna has found you… so… Celestia… where’s you *gulp* girlfriend?”

We were silent. “Is there a problem with Celestia having a girlfriend?” I ask curiously, the first to break the silence.

“Mother! How did you find out?!” Celestia asked, scared.

“Well, after I heard Canterlot was invaded by changelings I came to check on you… only to walk in on you and that Queen Chrysalis going at it... “ Faust said, making Celestia blush. “So… how did that happen?”

“So you would rather date a women that can change into a man, then just a man and a woman….how the hell did you even get to date her Celestia?” I ask curious.

Celestia’s face glowed red. “Well… when she changes into a male the parts are… still female… and I ran into her while I was out in a pub… using an illusion spell to appear normal, she was in disguise, we talked, got drunk. Next thing I knew I woke up in a hotel room with a changeling queen… we nearly gave eachother a heart attack… but we just… kept going like we did until…. Her whole hive now works among ponies in Canterlot and she lives with me here.”

“Ya know…” I start. “I didn’t expect you to sleep with someone so much that peace could be solved….” I say simply. “So...what would happen if I were to say I’m pretending to be Celestia’s boyfriend? Cause me and Luna we’ve been together for a while now, and although Celestia practically wishes I was a mare so she could have me...which begs the question do you like mares with...extra parts?” I ask curiously, knowing that’s a thing in my original world but feeling like it would be more possible here. “Also Madam Fauster, why do you think it’s unnatural for two consenting adults, of the same gender, is sad?” I ask. ”Are you freaking kidding me? Did I just realize that Faust’s name could be placed into ‘Foster’s home for Imaginary friends’?” I think to myself with mild irritation.

“Well… I just wish they could have a child without magic… children born from magic tend to have mental or physical issues… and a surrogate means it’s not truly both parents child… That’s all really.”

“I understand.” I nod. “But life finds a way. That’s the best I can say to most weird shit that happens in life.”

“True enough, now, Celi, I believe Ben also asked you a question as well? Something about hermaphrodites?”

“Well…” Celestia was blushing. “I… I… no, just no…”

“Is there spells that could give a mare a...actual real working set of parts?” I ask Luna curiously.

“Ben, is this a fetish of yours?” Luna asked.

“No, I’m just curious is all.” I say honestly. “I mean when you think about it from the history I’ve been learning magic can literally do...just about anything really. Tend to the earth, move the sun and moon, do daily things in life, even time travel and go to other worlds.” I explain. “Also quick question, shouldn’t you two have horns and wings? Or is that just a disguise of some sort?”

The two looked sad at the mention of a horn and wings. “... they were sliced off of us. During the war.” Locus said.

“Jesus christ…” I say sadly. “Well...this is the part where I shut up and stop talking before asking another question…” I sigh out, looking down and letting my shoulders sag in bitterness that I brought up something terrible for my two in law parents.

“We can still fly and use our magic without them fine… but just the…. Well, let’s try and find something to better the mood then.” Faust said. “How about… A… Well, I got nothing aside from Luna and Celestia’s childhood stories.”

“Are they as embarrassing as I think they are?” I ask with a growing smile. “Cause I’m up for hearing it. I mean, I can’t say much besides ‘I helped bring the dead back to life’ but that’s about as simple as can be.”

“Wait, you know necromancy?” Locus asked.

“No I don’t...but I had a little help from a friend as we both have...special powers. Want me to demonstrate one of my powers?” I ask. “I don’t want to scare two seasoned warriors so much that they suddenly blow up half the castle.”

“We left our Keyblades at the Graveyard and disowned them.” Locus said. “May those hunks of metal find peace.”

“I have a feeling they're not…” I say before snapping my fingers, suddenly a Dusk appeared and swayed in a passive manner. “I can summon Nobodies, my friend can summon Heartless. We just found the specifics and boom, out popped up naked people.”

“So… I wonder who this was…” Faust asked, slowly approaching the Nobody. “I have no doubt that many of our comrades are stuck like this as well.”

“His heart is in a state of perfect balance. And with that balanced heart he can control the Heartless he summons.” I explain, the Dusk looking around and asking where it’s heart was, knowing Faust is approaching it but not really caring at the moment. “With his help we saved eight people from their hearts from darkness...and I have a feeling, when I’m better at doing this, we can bring back so many more.”

“Abilities that were used to kill each other… used to heal and bring back those lost… If only things didn’t end the way they did.”

“We can’t change the past...and what caused the war was sad and regretful...but all we can do right now is look straight forward and make do with what we have and carve a better future.” I explain. “I’m not gonna have the past be the example of the future.”

“Words well spoken. Tell me, have you run into anyone else who has had control of these forbidden abilities, but uses them for the wrong reasons?”

“I’ve met two...maybe three but the third ran and the fourth had a handicap. One showed a sliver of doubt in her life of darkness and rage...one is consumed by it…but I have a feeling I’ll meet plenty more who would use their powers for evil...but where’s the fun if everything’s all sunshine and rainbows?” I ask. “Light can’t survive without Darkness, and Darkness can’t survive without Light. It’s a fact we all must learn, but some are just too blinded by one side they can’t figure that out...but I’m in the middle of both...for I am wise and stupid, sad but happy...I am Nothing.” I say. ”Can I stop talking like a fucking philosopher for ten fucking seconds?”

“In other words, still in puberty?” Locus joked, causing everyone to laugh… even the Dusk.

“Okay okay, that got me pretty good.” I wipe a tear from my eye from laughing to much.

Joy? It’s...how? The Dusk asks me and only me, the being looking over at me and tilting it’s head.

“Sometimes dad jokes are just so good even Nothing can find Something.” I smile.

Luna and I headed home after dinner with her parents… Chrysalis joined in the dinner and… well, Faust did faint, but that was because of the tongue kissing she and Celestia did. All was good, life was still nothing more than madness and the library was tame… wait, what? As Luna and I entered, we saw Time waiting for us in front of the bedroom door. “You broke her…” She stated, looking unamused.

“Listen, she tried breaking my shoulders.” I say.

“And you broke her mind.”

“As I was going to say, she was getting super pissy over me giving a price that Princess Celestia was, albeit worried for a few moments, willingly accepted...by letting Celestia kiss Twilight…” I say honestly. “I mean she probably kissed Luna a bunch...and Pinkie, Rarity and Zecora…” I trail off.

“She was drunk, no memory, well, clear memory, but she was sober then, and now, she’s on some kinda kissing fetish frenzy!”

“Where’s Twilight?” I ask.

“In the bedroom, with Pinkie, Rarity, and Zecora, all three covered head to toe in each others lipstick and saliva!” She stormed off.

“What did Celestia do? It was a fucking kiss…” I whisper to Luna worriedly.

“I am just as lost as you…” Luna admitted, gulping as we opened the bedroom door.

Only for us both to be grabbed by hands covered in what looked like lipstick kiss marks and spit. “Get in!” I couldn't’ tell who said that, all everything became was a blur of kisses and lipstick.

Author's Notes:

So yeah...this is a chapter. It's random, weird and a tad unfocused, but hey a normal day for Ben shouldn't be 'normal'. All I can literally ask is to please not hate me or BioQuill for writing this...mess.