Paradise
Chapter 5: Trying, and failing, to avoid the neighbors
Previous Chapter Next Chapter“I’m not gonna get back to sleep am I?”. I sigh staring at the roof of the loft.
“Wouldn’t have this problem if I wasn’t such a light sleeper, a damned butterfly could fart and it’d wake me up.”. I say rubbing my face before checking my watch. “12:45, that’s just greeaatttt.”.
Grunting I sit up and slide down from the loft hitting the floor with a thump. Stumbling to the mini fridge I open the door and grab a bottle of fireball. “This’ll wake me up.” I yawn, unscrewing the cap and taking a few gulps. “Yep… I’m awake now….ughhh shit burns.”. I burp hitting my chest a few times.
Putting the bottle back in the fridge I awkwardly stand staring at the moonlit clearing through the window thinking about the events that have transpired in the last few days. What did I do to deserve this? Couldn’t I have just died like a normal person? I grab the 240 and start to unload it idly. First I somehow live through the apocalypse, losing all I love in the process, then I get whisked away to neverland via tornado. What did I do to deserve that?..... Oh right, nevermind. The belt falls away from the gun, knowing the sound I don’t really give it much attention. God have the last two years been interesting. I hum in amusement pulling the charging handle back, a loose round falling to the counter below. Maybe it won't be so bad having someone to talk to again though. I suddenly realise, a smile coming to my face as I think about the zebra. Then again now I have ponies to deal with, My smile falls. and wolves. I growl, forcefully pulling the gun from the window. The sound pulling me from my thought.
Looking to the gun in hand I look behind me to the rifle on the couch and decide what to do for the next few hours. “Gun cleaning time.” smiling I walk to the cabinet.
<><><> two hours later, 1st person, Hank<><><>
My stereo turned up loud, the sound of 'Midnight City' vibrating in my chest, I finish the last journal entry setting the pen down.
<-><-> Journal entry<-><->
Zecora: Zebra shaman that lives in a tree four miles from the clearing
Ass tattoo: none, zebra stripes though
Threat: Don’t know, could poison me. Right now is an ally.
Relations: Family in Zebrica, me
Notes: I like her, seems nice. Could be a good relationship.
-
Big scary ass lion thing(Fauna): Big lion, scorpion, bat thing. Lives in the surrounding forest, seems to understand some english somehow.
Threat: Do you want to have your face rearranged? If yes, fuck with one of those things.
Relations: Satan.
Notes: One seems to like me sense I helped her kill the timberwolves. (I’m going to call her Lilith from now on.)
-
Timberwolf(Fauna): From small to large these fuck wits will mess with you, take your sleep, try to kill you, so on.
Threat: Depends on how many there are at one time.
Relations: There’s a lot of em in these woods.
Notes: Kill them all. (Try fire)
<-><->
Getting a good laugh at the last part I set down the journal and lean back into the couch just listening to the song end.
Looking down to my watch I see it reads 2:20. “Well shit…. What now?”. I question putting the journal back into the pack. “I’ve already cleaned the guns, picked up the links and empty casings in the yard, updated the journal, and took stock of my stuff. What should I do?”. Mumbling to myself playing with the 1911I get an idea.
Why not go into the town and find a map or somethin’? My adventurous side suggests in the back of my mind making me pause and rack the 1911. “Hmmm... Sounds like a good idea. Doesn’t it Hank?”. I question aloud. “Mmmmm yes, sounds tremendous darling.”. My sleep deprived mind replies in a posh accent making me laugh as I put on my torn short duster. “What is wrong with me.”.
Loaded up again with my usual kit along with the 1911 again I walk over to the fridge grabbing an old flask, rubbing my fingers over the engraved image of a skull screaming before putting it into pack. With most everything gathered I remember my helmet for once and put it on before slinging the m40 across my back, the pack making the fit quite tight.
Heading out the door and into the still 2:30 morning air I stop at my humvee and pause,"It’s gon’ be dark, I’m gonna be in the woods, and then in a town. I’m gonna need a shotgun."
Opening the passenger door and taking the shotgun. “And I’m prolly gonna need some more shells too.”. I speak as I shut the door and walk to the back of the truck.
Pocketing the extra shells I grab the flashlight in the back as well, putting it in my right pants pocket before shutting the sloped back hatch. Doing a quick equipment check I remember that my canteen is now empty and decide to fill it in the crick.
As I approach the crick I hear something big stir ahead of me, holding the shotgun in one hand I reach for the flashlight before turning it on. “You gotta be shittin’ me, are you FUCKIN’ SERIOUS!”. I yell looking at the thirty or so lion things laying in a big ball on the other side of the stream, before wisening up and closing my mouth hoping none of them heard my outburst.
“Why are you so dumb Hank? Why are you so dumb? How did I make it through the apocalypse of all people when I turn around and do that?”. I mumble backing up, thinking none of them heard me before a ‘small’ kitten works its way out from its mother’s grasp, waking the hell spawn in the process. “Shiiitttttt.”. I sigh looking to the waking pride, none of them too happy with my presence. Other than the kittens, they look ecstatic.
Standing there looking at my demise, accepting my fate. A familiar face makes her way through the growling pride, silencing them before jumping over the stream tiredly making her way forward. “Lilith.” I draw out the big cat just looking at me with tired eyes as she approaches. “Why did you bring all your friends here? I don’t want no visitor--- Ooof.”. My rant is cut off as Lilith nuzzles me, almost knocking my helmet off.
“Hey! Ya can’t do this shit. This is my land ya big softie---- oh fuck.”. I’m cut off again as she bites down on my pack lifting me into the air with no effort. “Jesus christ Lilith, really? I help ya only to be thrown to the lions? Greatful bunch y’all are… fuck.”. I humf tightly grasping the shotty as Lilith jumps back over the stream and sets me down, licking me one more time knocking my helmet off.
“Fuckin’ cat.” I mumble putting the helmet back on before looking up at the pride staring me down with curiosity, the horde of kittens I didn’t see earlier slowly approaching me. “Oh fuck me.” I scoot back on all fours running into Lilith’s leg, stopping my retreat.
Suddenly being picked back up Lilith licks me one more time before forcing me forward toward the slowly advancing group. Stumbling a bit I regain my footing before looking up, slightly flinching back as a shorter female is nose to nose with me.
“Howdy?”. I half question half greet the slightly pudgy female feline as she starts to sniff me, being thoroughly sniffed up and down the cat ‘meows’ and licks my face before turning and walking away. “Kay?”. I confusedly ask before Lilith slaps a heavy paw upon my helmet, forcing me down a bit, and gives a series of grumbles and chirps, the members of the pride looking between me and her a few times before all giving out a similar chirp in response.
The females of the pride grabbing their kittens by the scruff of their neck’s and returning to the sleeping ball formation, the mewls of protest from the young following, I look to the remaining ten males all still looking at me. “What?”. I gesture to the guys of the group as they glare at me. “If y’all think you’re gonna have to fight me for breeding rights, ya not gonna have ta. I don’t want no cat, bat, scorpion pussy ight’.”. The males snort before turning around and returning to the ball themselves, laying down around the outside backs to the group to protect their mates.
“Well what was that supposed to be Lilith?”. I question, turning to the last remaining lion. Looking at her Lilith just snorts before licking my face again and walking back to the group herself. “Come back here damnit, I got questions for you.”. I watch Lilith takes a spot, her back to the group, presumably on guard duty as well. “Ugh fine… Not like ya could answer anyway.”. I sigh in defeat walking to the stream remembering what I was going to do about twenty minutes ago.
“Not even three in morning and I’ve been indoctrinated into a pride of mutated lions.” I climb out of the creek bed with a full canteen on my belt. “What a life.”
<><><> Eerily silent log through the forest later<><><>
Stopping at the ‘Y’ in the road I look around making sure nothing is around to see me. Not seeing anything I step onto the main path into the village and begin my walk to find a map or something.
As I crest the hill I stop and look down into the town, not seeing any movement, I look down to my watch. “3:05, not bad.”. I put my arm down re gripping the shotgun. Looking back down to the street lamp lit town below I start into a jog.
Let’s see just how fast I run with this world’s lessened gravity. I think speeding up into a fast run that soon turns into sprint. Laughing in amusement as I make it to the inactive town across the moonlit field I start to slow down so I don’t smash myself into the brick wall stretches across front of the town.
“C’mon, slow down...shit” *Thump* I say under my breath before slamming into the wall with my right shoulder, my bicep reminding me of it’s current state. “Mmmmm,” I groan in pain holding my right bicep, “Remember ta work on stopping, I ain't got that quite down yet.”
Taking my left hand from my upper arm I remember where I am and listen for any ponies looking over the neck high wall at the same time. Seems clear. I think looking to the inactive streets. Hopefully nothing heard my little mishap.
As I hit the ground on the other side of the wall I immediately make my way to the nearest house. Hitting the wall gently I scoot my way to the edge of the house to make sure there’s nothing out here with me. Not seeing or hearing anything I step out from around the house and make my down main street, saying close to the houses and dipping into alleys whenever I could.
Stopping at the last building in the line I look to the train station that sits three hundred yards away, three hundred open yards away. Making my way as quickly across the clearing without sacrificing too much silence I close on the ticket booth, passing a burbling water fountain, sliding to a stop as I reach it.
Not seeing any movement from any of the buildings I turn to the task at hand and begin looking for a map. Not seeing anything on the outside of the booth I look to the inside, seeing the mother load of pamphlets on the desk. “One of those has gotta be a map.”. I reason dipping around to the small door at the back frowning when it doesn’t open. “It couldn’t of been easy could it?”. Sighing I take my knife from it’s place and try to shimmy it in between the lock and the door frame.
“Damn.”. I mumble putting the knife away and grabbing the doorknob, trying to force it open. “Why and how would horses even use a door knob? They couldn't grab it.”. I start to get mad, forcefully pulling on the door before twisting the doorknob to far. With a snap the door swings open, the door knob broken.
“Oops.”. I let go of the door and crouch inside, looking at the pamphlets. Taking a few maps I’m about ready to leave before I see a schedule. “That could come in handy.”. I mumble taking a few before leaving.
Stuffing the pamphlets into my pocket I make my way back to the line of buildings, this time stopping at the fountain. Crouching down next to the fountain to minimize my profile hoping nothing sees me while I’m out in the open, I look into the fountain and notice lots of golden, silver, and mostly bronze coins. “Who just throws golden coins into a fountain?!”. I question in disbelief grabbing a few of the coins and examining them in the street light. “.... Damn, I think this is real gold.
Going in for more and more of the gold coins, ignoring the others, my other pocket starts to get heavy as I fill it with coins. These ponies must be rich if they just throw gold into a fountain. I think as I stop looting the fountain, gaining around thirty doubloons, my left pocket bulging.
Looking to my left then my right to make sure nobody saw me I stand and start to the buildings again, stopping as I see a stand full of vegetables that I didn’t see before. “Seeds.”. I mumble walking to the stand looking at the selection. Tomatoes, potatoes, carrots, cucumbers, cabbage, corn, and onions. I look through the baskets taking two of each putting them in the pack.
Slipping the pack then the rifle back on, I turn to leave before noticing a sign that has a symbol of one coin next to each vegetable. “Ugh... Might as well I guess.”. I sigh counting out fourteen coins putting them on the countertop before throwing three more down. “For the trouble.”. I nod walking back to the exit looking down to my watch, double taking as I read the time.
“4: 15?”. I exclaim surprised at how long I’ve been in the town.
Still staying close to the buildings I’m about to dip out before I come across the apple stand that the trio were talking at yesterday. “Should I pay for those apples I took?”. I scratch my neck in thought looking to the pricing sign, “Might as well.” I pause taking my hand from my pocket. “Or I could pay in advance and nab a few off a tree when I head back home…. I’ll jus’ do that.”.
Slipping off the pack once more I take out the pen and paper and write a note on the very last page before ripping it out.
-----
I took two apples from your orchard earlier and I’m gonna take a few more, here’s the according amount. Real sorry bout that. If it’s any consolation, they were some of the best apples I‘ve ever had.
Have a good day now.
----
Placing the note down I put the pen and paper away before putting six coins on top of the paper, paying for six apples. Slipping on the pack again I start out of the town and up the hill, looking for a different place to hunker down and watch the ponies.
Finding a nice area in the woods that overshoots the left side of the town, scanning the main street I was on if I look left and right I take off my pack and rifle leaning them against a tree. Putting the shotgun to my immediate right in case I need it, I set down and grab the rifle, placing it on top of a fallen tree that is just perfect for setting up right and having a s stable firing position. Content with my new spot I scoot back and forth a few times to move the loose debris out from under me.
Opening the pack I set out the pen and paper, flask, and a MRE wanting to have everything I need already out. Making sure everything is here I pick up the rifle and adjust the scope's zoom so the town is as easily visible as it’s going to be in the early morning light. Checking my watch I see it reads 5:30, sighing. “Man…. I didn’t catch enough sleep last night.”. I peer back into the scope humming as some of the early risers start to mill about.
Screwing the cap back on the flask after I took a generous drink from it I start to look at the woods around me as the animals start to stir and communicate with each other. Looking around myself for the first time I began to take note of the difference of foliage from my neck of the woods.
There were a lot of vines and I mean a lot of them, along with that the trees looked a lot more gnarled and dark than the others just a hop and a skip away.
Standing up and grabbing the shotgun I walk a ways into the twisted trees taking in my surroundings. The wild life quieting down again as I start to venture further and further into the trees. Taking a step back and looking down I notice a far older path leading into the woods taking a hard left. “Well damn, this place is chock full of ol’ trails.”. I turn back around making my way back to my nest. “I’ll save that’n for another time.”
The sun had just peaked over the horizon, the activity in the town rapidly speeding up right after.
So far a few things had happened, a small contingent of guards had made their way to the train station and examined the broken door, the sergeant later telling all his troops to do something important as they all ran off to different houses and started knocking on doors.
The owner of the vegetable stand, a curly orange haired pony, had spun around in circles looking for the culprit behind the early morning shopping before shrugging and collecting the coins giving me a good chuckle. And a small brown pony with a helicopter hat had been looking between the fountain and the two stands I visited for around ten minutes before his mom dragged him back inside.
Wonder if he saw me? I thought as I scan around the town, watching the guards go from door to door, the ponies being questioned usually just shaking their heads ‘no’ before closing their doors.
I bet they’re asking about me, I didn’t anything wrong though…. Well, I did break a door. But that’s it. I wipe the sweat of my forehead “Phew.. It’s already humid as hell and it’s only..” pausing as I look down to my watch. “Six in the mornin’... I hate humidity.” I complain wiping my head one last time before looking back through the scope.
Exploring the area around me for the eight hundredth god damn time, I looked for anything interesting or out of the ordinary to cure my boredom, I haven’t been very successful so far.
Holding the shotgun lazily in my right hand I completed yet another round of the area I was in to ‘see if it was clear’ really it’s just to keep me from flipping out.
“Ughhhhh… FUCK!”. I turn and start to walk back to my rifle. “Why is nothin’ happenin’? I mean jesus christ not a thing has happened an’ it’s 8:55! For two hours I’ve watched ponies just mill about with their thumbs up their asses.” I jump over a large fallen log on my way back to my spot. “Sure it was fun the first day but now the novelty has worn off.”.
Reaching my spot again I set the shotgun down and pick up the rifle looking down to the town below. “Absolutely thrillin’.”. I grumble out, shutting up as I watch all the ponies look to the skies over the train station, the guards clearing a long section of the street.
Tracing the ponies line of sight I’m puzzled at what I see. A carriage being pulled through the air by two pegasi, the passengers being a purple unicorn and a lizard. Now I’ve seen it all. I think as I watch the carriage touch down, the purple unicorn and lizard immediately being met by the sergeant.
As I watch the sergeant say something to the unicorn and the lizard, the unicorns face growing green as he explains something pointing to the bush I was in yesterday. “Oh he’s talking about me ain’t he.”. I laugh, as the unicorn tells the sergeant something before walking down the street toward the exit of town being stopped by a extremely pink pony just standing there.
The lizard whispering something to the unicorn she tries to speak before the pink one jumps into the air, taking off like a rocket only leaving a outline of smoke where she once was.
Slowly taking my eye away from the scope I set down the rifle and reach for the journal and flask. “That jus’ aint right.”. I take a big drink from the flask
<-><-> Journal entry <-><->
Pink: pink normal pony that likes to defy the laws of physics
Ass tattoo: Three ballons
Threat: Anything that can break common sense is no good, no good.
Relations: Cocaine, Heroin, Crack, Lsd, Ecstasy, all them psychostimulants.
Note: I believe I have seen her lingering around a big ass gingerbread house.
--
Purp: Purple unicorn of some sort of importance, has access to flying chariots and can boss around military personnel.
Ass Tattoo: I don’t even know, a glimmer or something?
Threat:
Relations: Someone high up probably
Notes: Has a mini Barney walking around with her. She kinda comes off as a bitch… but that’s from 600 yards away so I could be wrong.
<-><->
Setting down the pen I look back to the town, a train pulling into the station with a series of whistles. Adjusting the scope a bit and looking down to the train I watch as a seemingly endless stream of ponies gets out of the cars and begin into the town, their heads turning from left to right looking at everything.
“Party must be bigger than I thought.”. I say aloud realizing that the party may not just be local, but this ‘praising of the sun’ could be a nation wide thing and this town is just hosting it.
“That would explain the guards.”. I shuffle around uncomfortably. “If this shindig is as big as it’s lookin’ ta be very important ponies could arrive. Like leaders, businessmen, and influential ponies alike. The stakes have jus’ been raised.”.
Looking down to my watch I hum. “It is jus’ 9:30 though an’ things are jus’ starting to get interestin’... I’ll stay for a while longer, this spot really ain’t that bad.”. I dig around in my pack for a MRE to eat as well as taking the canteen off my belt.
‘A while longer’ turned out to be a lot longer. After getting lucky with a chicken fajita MRE and finishing off my flask It had been an interesting few hours. Purp and Barney returned from wherever they went around 12:30, purp looking a tad more chubby, before they met a flying gay pride flag that crashed right into them, putting purp right into a mud puddle. After that the rainbow pegasus grabbed a cloud and drenched Purp with rain water before blow drying her with a mini twister giving her 80’s hair. It gave me a good chuckle.
It wasn’t all shits and gigs though, I had gotten things done. Mostly just drawing a side and front view for the stallions and mares, labeling them as well as I could. The height being the most surprising though. Finding the yellow pegasus in the crowd and comparing her height, that I observed a day or two ago, to others I can firmly say that most ponies are a bit below my waist. Being the 6’4 guy I am, a bit below waist is around 3-ish feet making ponies around 3’5, excluding the red giant. Again kind of a scientific wild ass guess(SWAG) from 600 yards away so it could be wrong.
All my gear repacked I pick up the shotgun and start my walk back to the path, deciding that the town has gotten a tad to populated for the time being. “Party’s looking like it’s gonna be a big’n, considering I’ve watched about six trains of ponies pull in.”. I exclaim stumbling through the underbrush, keeping my shotgun ready for anything.
Taking off my helmet and shaking my drenched hair of some of the sweat that has built up during my trek through the humid woods I notice that I’m near the main road the orchard is on, “Eh, I need ta go there anyways plus I’m tired of this damn humidity in these woods.” I step onto the path slapping the helmet back on my head, stopping as I feel a slippery thing moving under my hand on the helmet. “What the?” I take off my helmet and remove my hand, taken aback at the size of the tree frog looking back to me.
Laying my hand down next to the frog on my helmet I’m surprised to see that it’s slightly larger than my hand, not including the legs. “Jebus you’re a big’n aren’t ya?” I exclaim putting my hand down, still looking to the frog. “How did I not feel you plop down on top of my helmet?” As I question the tree frog it starts to reposition itself on my helmet before finding the right spot and settling down.
“Well ya seem content jus’ ta stay there, so I’m jus’ gonna leave ya, but since you’re gettin’ a free ride I’m gonna name ya.” Thinking of an appropriate name for the massive tree frog I itch my neck before coming up with the perfect name, “ Kermit. How’s Kermit for ya?” I ask the frog getting no response. “...Good.”
Looking down at the ground lost in thought I begin walking up a small hill that’s just before the orchard. Other than the humidity it’s a real nice day. I think taking in a deep breath of warm summer air, listening to the leaves rustle on the trees and Kermit chirping on my helmet.
“I wish everyone else coulda seen this place.” I smile. “They woulda loved it.”
Reaching the top of the small hill I hear a series of surprised gasps followed by the sound of a large collective step back. Looking up and readying the shotgun I bring it to my cheek putting it on the first target that just so happened to be the ‘Old one’.
Keeping the gun trained on the elderly mare I switch to looking at the crowd behind her. There were at least twenty ponies behind this mare, most being mares, but all with apple related markings on their asses. Staring each other, neither of us daring to blink, I take a forceful step forward, the ponies taking another collective step back, some of them whimpering and stumbling over themselves.
“What do ya think the monsters gonna do to us ma?” I hear a small voice whisper. Looking over I see a brown mare pull her child right next to her. “I don’t know hun.” See tells the shaking colt, looking directly at me.
Slightly lowering the gun I look back to the old mare. Opening and closing my mouth not knowing what to say, or to say anything, I rub my face and exasperated sigh escaping my lips.
Relaxing my stance and completely lowering my gun and rolling my shoulders I step off to the complete right of the road. Nodding my head in the direction of the town and pointing with my left, shotgun in my right, the ponies take a slow step forward before stopping again, the small filly with the large red bow pushing her way through the crowd, looking up to me.
“Thanks for saving me and mah friends from those mean timberwolves mister.” She squeaks out before looking down to the ground.
“Welcome. ” I automatically reply to the filly, surprised that I’m getting thanked for what happened yesterday.
“What are ya?” The orange mare named ‘Stetson’ spouts taking a spot next to the filly.
“I could be askin’ ya the same thing.” I quip back switching my gaze to the orange mare, making her take a half step back for some reason.
“W-Well we here are ponies. What are ya suppos’ ta be though?”
“Human.” Is all I reply looking down at Stetson, the mare not having anything else to say.
“Y’all best be on ya way now, ya gonna miss the party down in the town.” Waving my hand toward the town I suggest, all the ponies taking a step forward except the elderly mare.
Looking quizzically to the old pony she begins to speak. “I don’t rightfully know what ya are but ya saved the lives of one of our own and her friends. I know most ponies are scared or mad at ya but us apples pay back our debts, that’s why I want to offer ya either some bits or a fresh apple pie, I have a feeling that you’re gonna choose the pie though.” She smiles.
Nodding dumbly I answer. “Yes mam an apple pie sounds wonderful.” My mouth already watering just thinking about the desert.
“Well then sonny, jus’ swing by the orchard any time and I’ll bake one up for ya.” The elderly mare smiles once again, turning to catch up the the group of ponies who are only thirty feet away at most.
Just hearing that last part I stumble over my words trying to reply. “I mean no disrespect mam, but is it possible you could jus’ leave it outside one day an’ I could come pick it up?” I ask the mare making her turn around.
“Fraid not sonny, the only way I’ll, or ever will serve, an apple family pie is fresh.”
Sighing.“Alright then I guess I’ll jus’ come by some time then.” Kermit chirps again drawing the pony’s attention.
“An sonny, that frog you got on your helmet there.” She points a shaky hoof to my helmet “Are real good to put with your crops. They’ll eat any varmint ya got, from cicadas to mice. Plus it’s lookin’ like ya somehow caught yourself a queen. Queens draw in more of the little things.”
“That’s interestin’. Well…... have a good day mam.” I tip my helmet, Kermit giving a peep in protest, and step off the sunny path and into the humid woods, heading in a bit before crouching down waiting for the group to depart.
<><><>3rd person, path to ponyville, Granny Smith<><><>
The elderly pony waved back to the strange stallion and turned, still knowing he was watching them.
“What’s the matter granny?” Her granddaughter asks, concerned at the look on her granny’s face.
“Oh it’s nothin’ dearie.” The old pony smiles. “Let’s jus’ get to the celebration in town.” She pats the orange mare on her shoulder before slowly walking back down the path to the group.
“Granny at leas’ tell us what that thing was!” Applejack shouts, Granny looking back with a chilling stare.
“I think ya need to remember who you’re talkin’ to AJ.” The old mare snaps causing Applejack’s ears to lower.
“Ahm’ sorry Granny, it jus’ that we’re all curious ta what that thing was.” Applejack sweeps a hoof to the crowd, the ponies nodding in agreement.
“Y’all heard the stallion, human is what he called himself.” Granny answers the question slightly annoyed, eyes narrowing.
“What did y’all talk about then?” A small voice asks from behind Big Mac.
“I offered to bake him a pie for savin’ ya and your friends Apple Bloom, and remind me we still need to talk about your punishment fer gettin’ yourself into that mess.
“Yes Granny.” The filly answers looking to the dirt path.
“Whoa, Whoa, Wait. Yer gonna have that thing out ta the farm!” Applejack exclaims.
“What’s wrong with that? You had no problem with him before, but now that you saw him up close you’re afraid of him? He wasn’t anythin’ if a tad quiet, Big Mac’s quiet and he ain’t unfriendly.” Granny explains causing the younger mare’s face to relax.
“Yer right Granny. He’s jus’ so tall an’ big. It’s jus’ jarrin’ to see somethin twice as tall as you, that can kill several timberwolves at once, up close.”
“I know AJ, But y’all!” Granny Smith speaks up to address the entire family. “As long as ya don’t surprise him or threaten him I have a feelin’ that he won’t be a problem. Ya got that?” She explains, everypony nodding ‘yes’ not wanting to disagree with the old mare. “Nice to hear.”
Resuming their walk back down the path Applejack and Big Mac break away from where they were walking and approach Granny Smith at the front of the group.
“Say, Granny why don’t ya think that thing--- er stallion is gonna be a problem?” Big Mac asks, his sister agreeing “Yeah why is that Granny? I’m not doubtin’ what you say, it jus’ seems strange that yer so sure.”
Still walking down the path the elderly mare sighs. “ I can tell by how he looks an’ how he acted when we talked.”
“Whatta you mean?” Applejack asks, Big Mac nodding but deciding to staying silent.
“The look in his eyes and his body language is what I mean.” Granny Smith looks over to AJ seeing that she still doesn’t understand.
“Did ya notice how his pupils were real small, and how he didn’t seem ta be lookin’ at us but through us?” She points out both brother and sister taking a moment to think about it.
“His eyes also never stopped movin’, any movement drew his attention.” Big Mac points out to the two mares, Granny nodding while he spoke.
“He was also real ‘jumpy’, it seemed like jus’ about any sound would make him flinch too.”
“That’s what I’m gettin’ at, yer grandpappy did the exact same things after he got out of the Everfree, jus’ not as bad as that stallion was doin’ it.”
“Ya think he went through somethin’ bad Granny?” Big mac asks remembering the few stories he’d heard of his grandpa’s time in the Everfree.
“I think that stallion been through somethin’ worse than yer grandpa did, and that’s how I know.”
“What outta all that make ya feel sure he won’t hurt somepony? It sounds like ta me that he’d be more dangerous.” Applejack asks not grasping what her grandmother's saying.
“I jus’ have a feelin’ that that stallion hasn’t had a peaceful conversation with anypony it a real long time, I don’t think he’ll try anything and risk messin’ that up. Plus he did save little Apple Bloom and her friends, so that shows he ain’t too bad of a pony.” Granny adds just noticing that they have reached the town, stopping at the enterance.
“Alright everypony, we’ve all worked real hard to get all the food ready, now let’s have some fun!” She yells, smiling as the ponies rush their way into the crowd past her with a loud “YEEHAW!”
“What’s wrong Big Mac? Don’t wanna party?” Granny asks, noticing the large red stallion still by her side.
“There’s jus’ a lot of ponies here, Ahm’ not sure I like it.”
“Ohhh buck up Big Mac, it’s the Summer Sun Celebration, ya need ta enjoy it while it lasts.” The elderly mare looks back to the crowd “Before ya know it you’ll be too old to do what ya really wanna.” She gives a half smile remembering the old days.
“Ahm’ jus’ gonna go check on the stand.” Big Macintosh answers turning and starting to walk in the direction of the stand.
“Other than that yellow mare he might jus’ be the shyest pony I know.” Granny chuckles and shakes her head as she walks into the crowd herself, seeing one of her few remaining friends.
<><><>1st person, Clearing, Hank<><><>
“IT’S TOO FUCKIN’ HUMID FOR THIS SHIT!” I yell as I step into the clearing, the sweat pouring off me. “FUCK!”
Stepping past the wolf head that’s impaled on a pole I take off my helmet, still with Kermit attached, and run my hands through my hair trying to shuck away some of the sweat. “The humidity jus’ got worse an’ worse the farther we ventured in. Ain’t that right Kermit?” The frog continues to sit on my helmet, a blank look on it’s face.
“You ain’t the brightest are ya?” I ask the frog as I walk to the cabin, holding my helmet in one hand shotgun in the other. Stopping at the door, Kermit starting to make rapid peeping sounds, I awkwardly open the door before stepping inside. “Where’s the goddamn snooze button on you?” I set the shotgun down and start to poke Kermit on the head, the frog turning around and latching onto my finger with it’s mouth.
“Damn…. You got yourself some strong jaws don’t cha?” I try to pull Kermit off with no success. “Well if you’re gonna play hard ball.” I sigh and start to poke at it’s eyes annoying her to the point where she lets go. “Hey… Ya did that to yourself, don’t you give me the stink eye missy.” I point my finger to the still, somehow, scowling frog who just turns and climbs her way to the kitchen window.
“Whatever. I’m gonna go get some shit done, don’t you go nowhere now, I’m gonna need ya an’ your friends for my garden and trees.” I look to the frog and laugh to myself. “Talkin' to a frog. I think I’ve finally gone insane.” I wave my hand in a ‘whatever’ motion. “Bah, what’s new?”
With the empty fifty five gallon rectangular water tank, that is usually above the shower, in my hands, along with the shotgun, I snake my way through the door and into the summer’s sun reminding me how hot it was and temporarily blinding me. Looking to the ground and making my way to the stream, adjusting my grip on the tank, my eyes finally adjust allowing me to look up.
Peering up at the bridge I notice that most of the male lion things were gone, including Lilith, only leaving behind the females and the young, all of which were looking at me curiously.
Too hot to give a shit I just grumble at the sight and make my way to the brook to fill up my water tank. Pausing for a second to make sure I still have a good hold on everything I Jump down onto the sandbar and set down the tank before leaning the shotgun on the bank as well.
Kneeling down and unscrewing the cap on the top of the container I look up to the opposite bank and see all of the cats on the other side leaning on the bank and staring at me intently.
Stopping what I was doing feeling unnerved at how silently they all were at getting there I lower a hand to the water before splashing some water at the largest one directly across from me. Surprised the big cat jumps back and hisses as the water covers her face. “Y’all want some too?” I loudly threaten to the remaining beasts as I splash the water around making them take a step back. “That’s what I thought.” I sneer looking back down to the tank and unscrewing the cap the rest of the way.
About to lower the tank into the creek I hear a playful growl from above my head. Looking up unamused with whoever was growling at me I’m not surprised to see a ‘kitten’ looking back at me. The ‘kitten’ being the size of a large golden retriever it was slightly off putting with the claws and all but I was not gonna let a damn kitten growl at me and get away with it.
“Ye wanna go mate? Ya really wanna fuckin’ fight me?” I mock in a Irish accent standing up. My sudden movements and accent must of scared the baby lion because it took a step back before continuing to growl. Fed up with the little guy’s antics I stomp across the stream, soaking my pants and socks in the process, before jumping up on the other side of the stream where the cocky kitten was.
“Ya in for it now buckaroo.” I sprint towards the still crouched and growling lion soon making him turn and run surprised at my actions. Damn little guy’s fast. I think speeding up a bit to keep up the zigzagging lion.
Suddenly turning and stopping the large dog sized kitten drops his front legs and starts to shake his hindquarters back and forth. Dropping down aswell and copying the lion’s movements, he stops before pouncing.
Dodging to the left the lion flies by my right shoulder. In the middle of turning around the lion pounces again forcing me to roll or struck by the playful kitten. Not having enough time to recover after the roll the kitten pounces a final time and latches onto my side making us tumble a few times, me ending up on top.
Gently hitting the small big cat a few times on each side of the face I jump off and land back in the ‘all fours’ position, the lion spinning back around and on his feet immediately after.
Staring at each other a and circling the little guy growls again. Growling back at him we both charge forward on all fours before meeting each other in the middle, the lion winning this time. Covering my face with my arms out of instinct he delivers hard but unclawed blows to my forearms before I suddenly flip around and pin him to the ground shaking him back and forth.
Getting off of the young lion thing he turns and runs back to his mother, his stinger between his legs, hiding behind her front legs, hissing at me, the mother just looks to me and gives an amused snort shaking her head. “Hey he asked for it alright! Ya can’t jus’ growl at a guy an’ expect him not to do nothin’." I jest back, standing up and rubbing my right bicep, the cut throbbing to my increased heart rate.
“Ya ain’t listenin’ anyways.” I wave my hand to the mother lion as she just lays there looking back to me confuzed. “Not like ya really could understand me if ya were though.”
Turning my back to the group I walk back to the stream, speeding up a bit, before jumping over it all the way to the other bank. Nodding at my landing, that I didn’t completely screw up, I drop down where the tank is and finally lower it into the water.
I wonder what the actual percentage of gravity is here compared to earth? I pounder while the tank starts to bubble as it’s top slips under the water. I think it’s probably around half, that’d explain how easy it is to run and jump now. I might still have a bathroom scale around somewhere to test my theroy. My thought is cut off as the tank gurgles one last time signaling it’s full.
Screwing the cap on the tank I grab onto its side and slide it out of the water and onto the sand bar. “Why do I always have ta do things the hard way? I could of jus’ loaded this thing up onto the humvee but nooooo I jus’ love draggin’ four hundred pound water tanks around. I sigh as I get it up onto the bank. “At leas’ this thing always did slide roun’ pretty easy.”
Squatting down and grabbing the one of the widths of the rectangular tank I use my legs to lift one side of it to drag it back to the cabin, feeling surprised at how easy it lifted up.
“Whaaa- Oh. Oh right. I was literally jus’ thinkin’ about how much less the gravity is here.” I sigh lowering myself back down adjusting my grip so the tank is locked on top of my left shoulder. Giving a quick grunt I stand and make my way back to the house, stumbling a bit at first due to being unbalanced.
“And there….we...are!”. I smile as I hook up the last connection to the tank, gently pulling on it to make sure the connection will hold. “It’ll be nice ta be able ta take showers again, even if they’re cold, soapless, and generally short.”
Stepping out of the bathroom I make my way over to the kitchen counter where the sink is and turn the knob to open the valve, the water gurgling as it makes it’s way down the empty pipe before being collected in the sink. “Still works pretty well for a gravity fed system.” I turn the knob, cutting the water flow off, a gallon of water or so in the sink. About to pull the plug out of the drain I hear a croak before Kermit jumps down from the window sill and plops into the water, splashing me in the process.
“I didn’t think tree frogs liked ta swim.” I wipe some water off my face. "But then again your species apparently acts like bee's with the whole queen thing so I guess you likin' water really ain't too weird.”
Taking the rifle and pack off my back I lean the rifle in the corner and empty the vegetables and four apples I took out of the bag, setting them on the counter, before stuffing them into the fridge, looking down to my watch.
“4:00! Shit I need ta get ta work on the garden.” I adjust my helmet and take a quick step out of the door shotgun in hand.
Shovel over my shoulder I take the canteen from my lips and hum looking at what I’ve gotten done in a few hours. “Now I jus’ need a fence.... an' a tiller.” I take another drink from the canteen, gazing to the 20x40 patch of land where I took off the top layer of soil off, just leaving bare dirt, directly left of the cabin towards the stream. “I’ll worry bout that when I actually have some crops.”
Turning around I see the sun is setting, casing the entire clearing in a golden glow. Standing stock still, shovel still over my shoulder I stare at the setting sun over the trees as long as I could before it eventually dips all the way underneath them.
Continuing to stare off into space, thinking about all that has happened to me in the last few days, the sound of heavy footsteps draws me out of my thoughts.
Turning my head to the left I see that the other cats have returned with food. Three of the males each had a large deer in their mouths and Lilith had a lion goat snake in her jaws.
Shaking my head back and forth, giving out a short laugh, I pick up the shotgun and walk back to the shed, propping the shovel inside before stepping back out into the setting sun’s light. I’m not sure I like it gettin’ dark at 6 in the summer…. Seems too early. I think walking back into the cabin, Kermit giving a happy chirp from the sink. “Hey Kermit.” I lazily throw a wave in her direction, the frog chirping again.
Slipping the holster and my other outer kit off I look to the bathroom, Maybe I should test out the shower. I walk to the bathroom taking my revolver with me just in case. Throwing my clothes onto the toilet I step into the shower and turn the knob, similar to the one in the kitchen, the water falling onto my bare head and neck.
My breath catching in my throat due to the drastic temperature difference of the water and the summer air I start to rapidly wash off, not wasting a second. Turning the water off I take a deep breath and shuck some of the water off before reaching for the shirt that I wore today and using it as a towel.
Throwing the shirt turned towel into the corner I realize the bandage on my bicep and opposite shoulder are soaked, “Damnit” I curse ripping the bandages off and reaching for the roll of bandages on the shelf along with the tape. Roughly bandaging the slowly healing cuts and punctures I put on my underwear while picking up the BDU’s and smelling them.
Shrugging I throw the old BDU’s on, having trouble getting them over my hips and thighs. “Gonna need ta get new clothes soon” I say to noone in particular grabbing my revolver and walking out of the bathroom.
Sitting down, putting on my long socks, and lacing my boots I look around for a shirt to wear, finding an old torn tee shirt in the ‘washed’ pile. Slipping it on I look out the window at the night sky and suddenly feel like going star gazing, Turning around I slip back on the chest rig and helmet before heading out the door, grabbing my speaker and phone on the way.
“For here am I sitting in a tin can~ far above the world. Planet earth is blue and there's nothing I can doooooo….” I sing as I enter the night atmosphere, getting up onto the top of the humvee.
Setting down the speaker I plug in my old phone and scroll through my playlists, finally finding the the appropriately named ‘chill out’. Selecting the first song that, just so happened to be Space Oddity by David Bowie, I set the phone down and lay down on the slanted back hatch, my feet propped on the spare tire.
Putting my arms behind my head I stare at the stars in the sky listening to the music play.
“That’s strange.” I give a questioning look to the moon, the mare’s face slightly faded. “Weird.” I look to my watch seeing it’s just about seven o’clock. “Oh well, that ain’t the strangest thing I’ve seen today.”
<><><> A few hours later <><><>
The playlist progressing through two hours of Elton John, David Bowie, U2, and random EDM songs I watched the stars move, looked at the constellations, and watched the mare in the moon fade away, completely disappearing around five minutes ago.
Staring at the night sky while loading and unloading the revolver, periodically spinning the cylinder around, the pile of lions across the creek start to stir. Lilith growls, the group suddenly shooting up and beating it into the woods, opposite of the town's direction.
“That ain’t a good sign.” I mumble, slapping the cylinder shut before sliding off the roof of the humvee and crouching behind it.
Cocking the hammer back I bring the revolver into a ready position and peek over the hood, the slight breeze in the night suddenly stopping, my grip on the revolver to tightening. Waiting for something to come out of the woods, I about to think nothing’s going to emerge from the trees before a blue and purple cloud of smoke wisps throughout the clearing before stopping in the exact middle of it.
Training my pistol on the smoke it seems to pop out of existence, a bright white light emitting from the same area making me shield my eyes in pain.
Blinking the spots out of my eyes I peer back to the place where the smoke was, my eyes narrowing at the sight of the armor clad dark unicorn-pegasus smiling at me, its mane billowing in the nonexistent breeze, smile full of pointed teeth.
“Thee must be the beast who hath kill the timberwolf and strung its entrails throughout the trees.” She smiles a crooked smile, her slit eyes staring right at me, my anger starting to rise. "Such a peculiar being thee art."
"What are ya doin' here?" I demand unnerved at the look she's giving me.
"We art getting to that!" She snaps back before continuing.
"At which hour we arrived back to Equestria to reclaim our throne from our insolent sister we hath heard ponies saying that the one called 'The beast of the Everfree' is responsible for our returneth this fine night." She explains as she paces back and forth, before stopping.
"We knoweth this is false of course, but it hath caught our attention none the less. Questioning one of the spineless ponies we hath learned of a terrifying beast, that can seemingly defeat an entire pack of timberwolves by itself, hath been terrorizing the valorous town of Ponyville."
"Get to it."
She frowns. "While we usually wouldn't waste our breath on a mere mortal we bethought we would taketh a detour from the castle to findeth this 'Beast of the Everfree." Flicking her hoof in a circular motion she continues. "Alloweth me assure thee, twas not hard. All we hadst to do is followeth the carnage." The dark blue pony licks her lips with a unnaturally long, snake like tongue, before chuckling my eyes narrowing.
"Well I ain't interested, and I ain't some two bit monster so ya best be leavin' before I force ya to."
Shaking her head she stares at me before replying. "Don't taketh us for a fool, we knoweth a monster at which hour we see one."
My gaze hardening at the pony for not taking my offer to leave I smack the hood of the humvee in frustration catching her attention. "Alright, ya pointy toothed abomination, you're right, I am a monster. I kill, I enjoy it, and I'm pretty damn good at it and if you don't take the train to fuckoffville real soon I'll rip ya fuckin' head off an add it ta my collection." I point to the head on a stick to our right.
The armor wearing pony stares at the head before erupting in psychotic laughter, much to my annoyance. "W-We like a creature with some square!" She snaps before lowering her head back in laughter.
"And I like ending freaks like you." I reply, her laughter suddenly stopping as she slowly raises her head up and stares at me.
“We suggest thee hold thy tongue mortal, or has't t cutteth from thy mouth.” She threatens frowning, her armor plates clanking as she takes a step forward.
“I’m gonna turn ya face into a bowl.” I aim my pistol between her huge eyes, my finger slowly tightening around the trigger.
The armor clad pony stops and smiles, the horn on her head glowing a deep blue color. “We doubt that.”
Before I could blink a beam of light is sent screaming towards me. Flinching to the side out of reflex I fire a partially aimed shot back at the cunt, the resounding boom echoing throughout the clearing, quieting the crickets that were chirping before the beam of light contacts the area where my heart is before I could fully dodge out of the way.
Stumbling out from cover due to my flinch, I look to where the thing hit me not seeing any damage inflicted. Patting my chest a few times I look back up to the thing to see it staring at me in confusion and anger.
“How didst that not killeth thee! We hitteth thee with a spell capable to penetrate the thickest armor!” She yells before her right leg wobbles and gives out, making her fall to the ground with a startled yelp.
“What didst thee do to our leg?!”
“Oh shit.” I cackle, shaking my head at the grounded mare and approaching her. “Look who just got an all expense paid trip ta fuckoffville.”
Getting close enough to the mare I see the hole the bullet left in her dark armor and leg. “Look’s like I didn’t hit the bone though…. Shame.” Holstering the pistol I look down at the strange pony, fear starting to seep into her features.
“What art thou?!” She frightfully asks trying to back away from me as I approach.
Ignoring her question I reach down and grab her by the neck, a strangled gasp escaping her throat, as I lift her up. “Ya know what the funny thing is?” I question the struggling mare. “You were jus' so damn sure of ya self, now look at ya, scared an' bleedin'.” I giggle at the mare as she keeps struggling, her legs flailing around as she tries to breathe.
Staring into her fear desperate wide eyes as I tighten my grip on her throat I see her horn start to glow again. “Ah. Ah. Ah.” I tsk, grasping the base of her horn hard, the black winged unicorn letting loose a bloodcurdling shriek, that slightly hurts my ears, making me smile. “Oh that hurts? Well what about this?” Continuing to grasp my hand around her horn I start to slowly twist.
Her eyes rolling back into her head she screams so loud her voice cuts out, her pained shrieks nothing more than a high pitched whines.
“Enough a that.” I let her horn loose, still holding her by the neck but allowing her to breathe . Watching her take shaky breaths, tears running down her face I gently boop her on the nose. “Hey, guess what.” Her huge teary eyes slowly flutter open, the cat like slits widening as she looks at me and begins to weakly struggle again.
“Fuck You.” I cock my right arm back and deliver a punch to the side of her face, pushing her out of my hands and back to the cold hard ground with a thump. Looking to the side of her face where I hit I notice the large and deep dent in her helmet, blood starting to seep out from behind the cracked metal covering.
“Hmm?” Looking down I see that my knuckles are starting to bleed. Moving my fingers I decide I didn’t break anything somehow and look back down the the pony, watching as she looks up to me with a bloodied face and disappears in a flash, Only leaving a small puddles of blood where her head and leg laid.
I look to the forest around me, seeing if she’s near by. “Shoulda' jus' shot ya.”
Walking back to the cabin, determined to get some sleep, I notice the pack of lions creeping back into the clearing eyeing me all the while. Not caring to what the cats do I grab the speaker and phone on my way inside before closing and locking the door.
Putting the phone and speaker onto the counter I notice Kermit has stuck herself to the remaining pane in the kitchen window, looking quite pleased with her current residence.
Turning my attention away from the large frog I take the shotgun and set it into the loft before climbing up myself and laying down, helmet and chest rig still in place.
About to slip under the spell of the sandman I distant bang snaps me awake. Revolver automatically in my hand I scan around before sighing and reholstering it. “Not my problem.” I exhale and slip into the embrace of sleep.