Paradise
Chapter 25: Friendly Conversation
Previous Chapter Next ChapterA very angry looking Celestia scanned for Hank, all of the ponies immediately bowed in respect for their princess but were ultimately passed over as the angry large white pony looked for the human. Turning away from the crowd right as five of the elements came running into the picture from the far end of the street Celestia ignored Twilight’s surprised cry and instead focused on the human sat on the back of the strange wagon.
Her frown deepening, her mask fully removed, Celestia took a step forward toward the human as a creepy wide grin exposed all of his blood slicked teeth while his eyes stared right into what felt like her very being.
The feeling rising in her chest and stomach again, the long forgotten feeling of uneasiness and fear that Celestia had forgotten what felt like long ago only to be reminded when she was around the human, caused her to become more irritated in herself.
The large, bloody, and extremely armed primate seemingly sitting relaxed on the back of his vehicle Celestia knew he was anything but, she could tell he was watching her every move, reading her like a wolf does a rabbit, it bothered her that somehow he was already in her head, though truthfully she hadn't stopped thinking about him since she first met him.
Getting closer, Celestia could notice the smaller details: He was wounded, badly. His armor was beaten and heavily used, stained in red, and seemed homemade. His entire body was covered in weapons, all that seemed used. And interestingly the armor that had been on his torso was lying on the ground letting her see the musculature underneath through this tight-fitting sweat and blood soaked white shirt. Not to mention that his hair was much shorter and she could see the lines where it didn’t grow due to scarring.
Stopping fifteen feet away from the man and the pony who was trying to reach across him and put pressure on a wound on his stomach the two stared each other down waiting for one or the other to speak.
It soon became clear to Celestia that she was going to have to speak first since the only thing that Hank had done was let his cheshire grin fall back to his natural snarl as he looked flatly at her.
“What did you do?” Celestia asked trying her best to mask the anger in her voice.
The silence was palpable as Hank sat silently looking back at the large pony before he let out a dry laugh and sat up, cracking his back as he did, “Saved your ponies.”
The simple answer only angered Celestia more as she and Hank both briefly turned to the side as the elements worked their way up to the front row to see what was going on. Turning back towards each other Celestia grit her teeth, Hank’s attitude was only grating on her more as she went on. He wasn’t bothered at all by what he did! He showed no remorse or guilt of wrongdoing at all!
“And what did you have to do to save them? What did you put them through?” Celestia asked in a very mocking tone.
Looking down to her Hank grit his teeth and growled, he would normally have more patience but the more irritable violent him was in control now, “I did what nobody else would. Something you would never fucking do.” Spitting the words at the pony Hank started to undo the armor on his forearms and arms, throwing them behind him.
“And what did you do on your heroic and noble conquest?” Celestia took a step forward before being forced to take two steps back as the human shot to his feet.
“What in the fuck do you think I did!?” Hank threw his arms into the air displaying the injuries he had as specks of blood flew free, “Do you think you’re gonna get a fucking one up on me when I say it? You think I feel remorse?” Hank looked at her and then to the crowd before standing back up straight and throwing the rest of the armor that was on his arms into the humvee past Caliper with a deep aggravated huff.
Turning back around Hank angrily glared at the large white pony who was looking back at him much the same, “You just wanna hear me say it don’t ya?”
“I think I would.” Celestia answered with a growl.
“Well in that case sweet cheeks…” The human leaned forward and looked the pony directly in the eyes, “I went down in that cave and slaughtered every fucking diamond dog I came across. I shot them, I stabbed them, I cut them, I burned them, I crushed their skulls under my boots, I blew them up, and I bit their fucking throats out!” He finished with
A large gasp coming from the crowd Hank nodded his head, “That’s right… AND I ENJOYED EVERY SECOND OF IT!”
Looking at the human disgusted Celestia took a step closer to the man. “Yes you are very accomplished in spreading misfortune and terror, the amount of nightmares my sister has to stop because of you is astounding.” Celestia actually didn’t know if her sister had to do such but she figured that it was true, “And now there’s more ponies that have to go through the trauma of dealing with you. Not to mention the entire cave of diamond dogs that you killed without evidence, you realize that’s a war crime don’t you?” Celestia mocked stepping closer to the man whose chest was heaving, steam coming from his shoulders and head, “Of course you don’t, you’re too stupid to know anything more complicated than killing what angers you.”
Laughing Hank felt his fuse starting to light, “You want the fucking evidence look in that god damned hospital you dense cunt.” Hank pointed to the building, “You’ll see ponies that were beaten, starved, and… and fucking raped for months! Raped Celestia. Not just ponies but fucking children!” Hank started to cackle like a mad man, “ Have you ever looked into a mother’s glazed over eyes as her child cried behind her frail dying form? Huh!?” Hank looked to the pony unbelieving that she didn’t feel the same rage he did about what happened to her own subjects nonetheless.
Both pony and human staring at each other Hank growled and turned around with a dismissive wave before stomping back over to the humvee and resting his hands on the tailgate. Looking down at the bloodsoaked gate as he tried to get ahold of his temper Hank realized just how done with Celestia’s shit he was.
“You don’t get to decide what happens with my ponies, you don’t have the power to make the plans and execute them as you wish! You are not the judge, jury, and executioner to whoever you deem a target; and I’m tired of you forcing my guard to go along with your asinine plans like they are yours to command! You do not have the authority to command my troops and make them do as you please, putting them in danger!” Celestia’s voice rose steadily higher in volume as she went on.
Huffing and puffing Hank had his eyes clamped shut as he tried to hold himself from exploding into a rage but Celestia’s words only drove him to it faster than even he could have imagined.
His muscles tensed hank raised his right fist and rammed it down onto the tailgate over and over again causing his blood that had pooled on it to fly off in all directions. Throwing his fist down one last time with a yell Hank whipped around and stared into Celestia’s eyes with his own that were filled with seething hatred.
Most of the ponies in the crowd nervous at the look on the man’s face even Celestia felt a tinge of worry but held firm in her stance.
“You’re a fucking coward Celestia. No.... You’re not just a spineless piece of shit coward you’re a politician.” Hank said, gallons of venom pouring from his words as he calmly walked toward the white pony.
“I may be violent, but violent action is always better than passive inaction. You would rather sit on your padded throne in your ivory tower and wait, letting those helpless ponies wither away and die. You’d rather have children die then get your fucking hooves bloody.”
The accusation causing Celestia’s own nasty temper to flare up she scowled at the man as he approached and forced her to step back from his advance, “You know nothing about me and what I have done in the service of my subjects.”
“I know everything about you!” Hank bellowed in pure anger focused at the white pony, “You say you care about these ponies but you are unwilling to do jack shit! The only reason you’re pissed off is because I undermined your power by doing my own thing and not groveling at your hooves for permission.”
Stopping her retreat as he anger flared Celestia jumped up and rested her gold slippered hooves on the man’s chest to get eye level with him, “You know nothing about what it takes to run a country! You know nothing about what I deal with to keep these ponies in relative safety!” Celestia yelled in Hank’s face inches away, the smell of blood and sweat almost overpowering her nose, “ I’m angry because I do not appreciate it when a murderous monkey thinks he knows better than me and put my ponies in danger by going on a self indulgent rampage while calling it a rescue attempt!”
“You think my main objective was to murder as many diamond dogs as I could and that getting the ponies out was just an added bonus?” Laughing at the notion it took Hank a little over ten seconds to reign it back in and by the time he did Celestia was looking at him with all the more anger.
Snapping from laughter back to hatred in an instant Hank glared into Celestia’s light purple eyes, “I did this because Applejack was scared for her friend Rarity!”
Looking away from the man and to where he pointed Celestia looked at the orange mare as she looked back at them with wide eyes, clearly not knowing what to think.
“Then I went into the woods, found the problem, and that there was a bunch of ponies that needed help and set to it! Ripping every diamond dog limb from limb is how I punished the slave trading rapists and freed the ponies… all of them! And guess what I’d do it all again! Right now if I had to!” His temper only growing hotter he hardened his gaze as Celestia’s eyes returned to looking at him.
“You don’t care about your ponies you goddamned politician! If you did the fact that this was happening would boil your blood twice as much as it does mine!” Hank shouted back baring his teeth, “People like you make me sick.”
“YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MAD THIS MAKES ME! THE FAC-”
“IF YOU REALLY FUCKING CARED YOU WOULD COME DOWN HERE AND TAKE OUT THE DIAMOND DOGS YOURSELF YOUR MAJESTY!” Hank cut off and mocked Celestia’s title causing a low growl to come from the large pony, “ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS SAVING FACE AND POWER!”
Celestia’s temper boiling over at the human it didn’t help that he had been living in her mind rent free for months since he first arrived. With every waking moment, and some unconscious ones, a small part of Celestia’s brain had been diverted into thinking about the human and it had increasingly been a source of aggravation. It became more evident when Luna had started to notice a drop in her productivity during day court and other tasks. So while Celestia was yelling at the man she was propped up on it she was also yelling at herself for not being able to shake her thoughts.
“You’ve done nothing, absolutely nothing, in the time I’ve been here that showed any real care for your subjects! You’re a no good, corrupt, cowardly, two faced, piece of sh-”
The feeling of Hank jabbing her in the chest the only thing that she felt as her mind poured over in anger Celestia couldn’t stop herself and with an anger induced yell she sucker punched Hank across the jaw with her right hoof. Her hoof connecting with Hank’s lower jaw mid sentence she felt the bone give way and a sickening crack escape the human’s mouth as he turned with the punch and stumbled a few feet away before falling down on all fours.
The tunnel vision fading away as her front two hooves met the earth, she saw the person she had been leaning on five feet away on his knees as fresh blood ran down his face, doting the dry soil. A massive simultaneous gasp of shock erupted from the crowd that was surrounding her, Celesita looked from her focus on the downed human to the ponies around her.
Her anger dissipating in an instant once she realized how her ponies were looking at her Celestia started to realize just what she had done. Bringing her right hoof up from the ground Celestia started to feel sick. She hadn't just punched a person for no reason out of nowhere, she had punched an injured man with not just a bare hoof but with solid gold slippers, similar things were used in combat. But that wasn’t even the bad part on top of that she was an alicorn! The most powerful of the races, a combination of all of their abilities and none of their faults, and she had hit Hank very hard.
Looking away from the blood and dirt coated slipper Celestia brought her attention to the human in front of her as he started to push himself back to his feet. Amazed, and a little off put by the human’s toughness, Celestia had no idea how he could still be conscious after taking a hit that would collapse a regular ponies skull. She started to wonder just what could stop the man if a body full of injuries and a hit like that couldn’t.
Meeting the human’s eyes as he turned around Celestia had a hard time looking at his face as his lower jaw hung open, blood running over his lower teeth, clearly not attached to the rest of his skull anymore.
“I-I-I- I am so so sorry! Hank I don’t know what came over me and I… don’t… know…...wha-”
Words dying in her mouth Celestia watched aghast as the human slowly took off his gloves before grabbing his lower jaw with both hands, his fingers inside his mouth, and took a second to find the right spot before quickly ramming it upwards. A loud grinding followed by an even louder pop as Hank manually reset his own jaw, his eyes never leaving Celestia’s as a fire burned behind his tiny pupils.
Taking a step forward Hank’s chest heaved as his body tried to bring in enough air to oxygenate the blood that his adrenaline filled heart was circulating. Striding closer and closer to the white pony as she took small steps back Hank could see her mouth moving as she no doubt tried to weasel herself out of what she had done but her words fell on deaf ears as the man got ever closer, his right hand balling into a tight fist.
Leading with his left foot Hank took one last step and loaded his own punch before throwing it with everything he had, a rough yell escaping his throat in the process. Celestia on the other hand read his body language and tried to get out of the way of the ascending hook but ended up positioning herself worse, failing to realize that Hank was no minotaur and could throw a punch much much faster.
Impacting Celestia’s face below and just behind her left eye, much the same place he had struck Luna months ago, the hit pulled her front hooves off the ground and forced her head and body to go with the momentum of the punch.
Hank wasn’t sure if he had ever thrown a more powerful punch in his life. Everything went perfect for the hit: the adrenaline in his body, his anger, the fact that he used his entire weight behind the hit and loaded it with his hips and drove up with his legs. Nothing was left unchecked and as Hank felt his fist trying to punch though Celestia and not just hit her he knew it was going to hurt even to the demigod.
Thrown onto her side in the dirt two feet from where she had been standing Celestia couldn’t even register the pain she was feeling as she lay on the ground completely unresponsive to the outside world.
Watching in complete shock as the human stood over their fallen leader the townsponies didn’t know how to even start processing what they had just seen, the most powerful being in history had just been promptly thrown in the dirt by one punch from the human. Perhaps the most shocked were the ones that knew Hank and had been around him the most, they knew he was strong but after witnessing a punch pick their leader off the ground and throw her back down they found a new sense of weariness and amazement from the man.
Shaking his knuckles and making sure his fingers weren’t broke Hank watched as Celestia’s form twitched and slowly tried to pull itself into the fetal position. Hank knew enough about human anatomy, and guessed it was much the same for ponies, that of someone's body was acting like that after a hit their brain had no doubt bounced around inside of their skull and their spinal cord had taken over trying to protect the body even while unconscious.
Finding it hard to care about whether or not he had just killed Celestia Hank looked away from the downed pony and to the arrow shaft sticking out of his skin. Pacing back and forth between the humvee and where Celestia lay trying to figure out what to do about it an old technique popped into his mind specifically made to remove barbed arrows.
Turning around and walking back to Celestia’s body that had since stopped twitching and trying to ball up Hank stepped over her back before going down to a knee. Straddling the princesses’s barrel Celestia started to stir but it was of no issue to Hank as he checked her pulse and breathing. Everything incredibly steady for how much her brain had to have rattled around in her head from not only the punch but the smack off the hard ground Hank opened her mouth after he noticed the small pool of blood that had formed. Not enough to be an issue Hank put her head back on the ground and sat back on her side as he started pulling on her wing to uncurl it from where it had pressed tightly to Celectia’s back.
The nervous system overload that Celestia received from the attack starting to fade as her alicorn biology picked up the slack she started to pull through the deep layer of unresponsiveness her body still had. Her senses ever so slowly coming back online Celestia didn’t think she was dead but she imagined that if death felt like anything it was what she was feeling now as her skull erupted into a massive headache and the taste of iron spread through her mouth. Slowly coming to Celestia cracked open her eyes and only saw bright brown and white as she realized something was pulling on her wing and out of reflex tried to fight it.
Already annoyed by how opposed Celestia’s wings were to being pulled open feeling the small amount of progress he had made fade away as she pulled her left wing back in only angered the human more. Using his left hand to grab and try to pull the wing open instead of both like he had been doing. The arrow wound starting to hurt more and more as the painkiller wore off Hank was becoming impatient.
Pulling his right hand back Hank delivered a short punch, that was nothing more than a jab, in between Celestia’s wings; the effect was immediate for each parties, Celestia screamed in pain as the extremely sensitive nerve cluster was stung by the punch and Hank grinned widely at her screams while extending her wing as far as he could.
The limb trembling in his grip Hank started looking at the feathers in front of him while deciding just what he needed while Celestia panted in pain. Knowing he would need something long enough to reach into the wound Hank looked to her second largest row of feathers and quickly plucked two before dropping her wing to the ground.
The defeated appendage slowly retracting back toward its resting place Celestia tried to stand up but found she was pinned to the ground despite her efforts, starting to worry that the punch had broken her neck and paralyzed her Celestia tried to move her rear legs and felt relief as they obeyed.
Still stuck Celestia shifted herself a little and used her large side placed eyes to look behind her while craning her neck. Finding where Hank had gone Celestia looked to the face of the man on top of her before looking down to where he was looking. A shock of fear making her stomach churn at the sight of the large knife in Hank’s hands Celestia watched as he cut off the ends of her own feathers, throwing the parts that still had live flesh on them to the ground. Her breathing already lessened by the weight on her back and side Celestia found it harder to breathe the longer she looked at the blade, realizing that she had lost the fight she started and now Hank was free to do whatever he wanted.
Looking up from his hands as he resheathed the knife on his leg Celestia met Hank’s eyes and felt her stomach do a flip as his eyes bored through her. Hank’s eyes only leaving Celestia’s as he looked down to the arrow sticking out of his shoulder the man put the feathers in his mouth before bringing his right hand up to the arrow’s shaft and with no pause pushed the arrow deeper so the barbs were no longer seated.
A cry of pain coming out of his mouth from around the feathers Hank fell forward onto Celestia as his body temporarily gave out. Celestia being helpless but to lay there under his weight soon found her head and muzzle pressed between the man’s chest and the ground forcing her to take in multiple breaths of nothing but the human's strong scent as it also worked its way into her fur. Huffing and puffing from the pain Hank placed a hand on the side of Celestia's head and pushed himself back into a sitting position
Blood freshly coming out of the wound it ran down his front and onto Celestia’s side where it immediately stained the pure white coat. Not caring about her coat right now, just caring about getting out of this situation alive, Celestia watched knowingly as the man started to push the shaft of her feather in the wound all while gritting his teeth and making grunts and whines in pain.
She knew what he was doing, she had seen battlefield surgeons do it plenty of times before, except back then it was a new idea to remove barbed arrows from flesh without pushing them all the way through. Watching as Hank went through the extremely painful process all by himself Celestia felt his thighs squeezing her as he seated the shaft of her feather around the first barb. The second took a little longer as Hank had to stop to catch his breath as the pain became too much but soon enough he had covered the two barbs and started to pull the arrow back out.
Leaning back, putting his full weight on Celestia, Hank looked up to the sky as sweat beaded down his face, thankful that it worked and that it was over. Laughing to the sky as he dropped the arrow and feathers to the ground the human took one more deep breath and brought his attention back to the pony he was sitting on who was looking up to him, blood staining the fur under her nose.
Her eyes full of sympathy and empathy it disgusted the human and made his blood boil.
What the fuck is wrong with this bitch? One minute she’s yelling at me and dislocating my jaw and the next she’s looking at me all sad and shit. Hank thought to himself while looking down to the pony as she clearly was thinking about what to say.
Pulling his right hand from the arrow wound Hank lurched forward and pressed Celestia’s head back to the dirt causing a surprised cry to come from the mare. Leaning over her face as his hand kept her head from moving Hank opened his jaw causing it to loudly crack again, something that made Celestia close her eyes tight and clench up.
“Listen to me you egocentric asshat-” Hank paused and rolled his jaw one more time, “You need to pick a fucking lane and stay in it! Either you need to hate me and be the bitch that showed up here eariler, trying to knock my fucking head off. Or you need to take the time to figure out what you really think and talk to me so we can iron this shit out.”
Pressing her head down harder Hank shook his head in disbelief, “You know how this road ends that you just tried to start us on don’t you?”
“Yes. In death.” Celestia choked out while spiting blood out of her mouth
Not expecting an answer from the pony Hank gave a short nod, “Right, but not just any death, mine and yours Celestia. You keep this shit up and I’m going to kill you even if it kills me. You have no ideas how persistent and ruthless humans can be, you have no idea how fucking willing I am.” Looking at each other for a few more seconds Hank finally let go of Celestia’s head and leaned back causing a great amount of relief to come over the large pony.
Gazing down at the red hand print that he had left on her face all around her left eye from where he grabbed her as Hank also took a breath while bringing his right hand to the left side of his face where Celestia had struck him. Finding the half crescent hoof print almost immediately Hank grumbled as he pulled back to see his hand covered in fresh blood. Looking down to Celestia’s back and face where his blood stained her coat in several places Hank suddenly had an idea come to mind.
The weight on Celestia’s back leaving in an instant the pony shifted onto all fours and looked back waiting for permission to stand for some reason.
What am I doing I don’t need permission to st-
“Get up.” Hank commanded cutting Celestia’s thought process off and immediately making her stand. Realizing that she had just followed the order without question Celestia boiled it down to that she was already thinking about it and it was just timing, even though she knew she was lying to herself. She had no idea why she was following his command and letting him boss her around so much but it bothered her, made her feel like she wasn’t in control anymore.
While Celestia stood and started to shake herself off Hank took a step behind the large white pony and set his sights directly on her right butt tattoo.
“I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.” Grinning like a mad man Hank cocked his right hand up by his head before swinging it down. Aiming for the middle of Celestia’s cutie mark Hank couldn’t of been more accurate and with a loud *SLAP* Hank watched with glee as the perfect amount of fat jiggled from the strike.
Taking a step back from the blind kick Hank expected to come Celestia jumped up and forward from the unexpected slap as a high pitched “Eep” came from her lips. Her rear still stinging from the strike Celestia whipped around to face the man as her tail swished from side to side in annoyance.
“What do you think you’re doing, doing something like that in public?” Celestia narrowed her eyes at the man who looked back at her with his signature crooked smirk.
“That’s for leaving this on my face.” Hank explained tuning his face and showing the outline of the golden slipper on his cheek, “You know what they say right? Eye for an eye? Well cheek for a cheek.”
Realizing that she had no ground to stand on for an argument Celestia bit her lip and turned back around with a huff catching a look at the red hand print that covered her cutie mark in the process.
“Do you have any idea how hard it is to get blood out of white fur?” Annoyed Celestia asked without looking to the man.
“In your case I really don’t give a shit.” Hank immediately replied while walking next to the white pony, “And Celestia…”
“Yes?”
“You’re going to go into that hospital and visit with those ponies.”
Staring into each others eyes Celestia knew she had no choice even if she had the plan to do that anyway, just after getting cleaned up, “I was planning on anyway, just after getting cleaned up a little.” Having to explain herself was a strange feeling after not having to do so for so long, it made her feel like a filly again, waiting to see what this greater force would say, always needing confirmation or clarification.
“No. No.” Hank laughed, “You’re going to go now and you’re not gonna leave until I have the feeling that they feel cared for and validated by the leader they place on such an undeserved pedestal. I’m gonna give you the rundown ight’? ” Hank said taking a deep breath.
“I don’t think you really understood what I said before I knocked you out, but now I think that punch cleared your mind a little. Some of those ponies have been down there for months. Eating food they can’t digest, getting tortured, raped, and being forced with the thought that they would die down there every waking instant.” Hank looked down to Celestia as he explained, a fire returning behind his eyes, “When I first got down there a stallion asked me if I was with the guard and when I said “no” he said “I guess we really were forgotten.” The fact that he could feel such defeatism in the face of being rescued really shows how in need of support they are.”
Feeling like she was filly getting scolded by her parent it took all of Celestia’s power not to fold her ears back and lower herself down to the ground.
“And as much as it may be misplaced and undeserved you’re the only one who can do that. I can’t do that! I’m the monster! I do the killing. Which ya know, is fine. We all have our parts to play, but I’ve played my part and I’ll be damned if you don’t play yours.”
Looking at each other neither said a word as Hank stood aside letting Celestia pass and walk to the hospital, stopping at the doors and looking back to see the man looking right back at her. Turning back around Celestia used her magic to open the hospital doors and step inside, much to the amazement and shock of everyone inside.
“Princess Celestia! Are you okay?”
“What happened? We heard yelling outside.”
“No disrespect but why are you covered in blood and why is the side of your face bruised?”
A million questions being asked at once by the ponies that had the strength to speak Celestia looked over the ponies in front of her and felt a large amount of sadness and anger well up inside her at the sight of the skeletal and broken ponies in front of her.
“Please. Please… I am doing just fine.” Celestia smiled hiding her inward emotions, “I’m more worried about all of you, I was told of the egregious conditions you were in and things you went through.”
A faint murmur of “I’m okay” and “Just happy to be out” Filling the air Celestia knew that they were just putting on a brave face and swore to see to their every need.
“What did happen to you Princess? I mean no disrespect but it’s obvious something happened outside.” Looking to a dirty and blood speckled Rarity while Spike sat as closely to her as possible Celestia again smiled her warm smile.
“No disrespect taken of course Ms. Rarity. I simply had a very enlightening and eye opening conversation with your friend Hank.”
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Watching the doors close behind Celestia like a hawk Hank took a few more deep breaths and rolled his shoulders the best he could but quickly stopped as the arrow wound reminded him of its presence.
Sighing Hank turned to the Humvee and caught the hundreds of ponies that had conglomerated and were watching him, tracking his every move, like a creepy army of statues. Turning fully to the crowd he looked over the full crowd before settling on the five mares he knew.
“That was somethin’ huh?” He asked rhetorically focusing more on Applejack and Fluttershy than anybody else, “Rarity and the little guy are inside, though I would give them time to come out to you, they ain’t hurt physically too bad, but they are gonna need counselin ’. Oh…. they’re gonna need counselin’.”
With a slow turn Hank made his way back to the humvee and sat next to Caliper who just sat in stunned silence.
“You ready to get done with all this?” Hank asked looking at the pony, “Oh and you’ve been surprisingly nice today, I trust you’ve been this way with all the other ponies.”
“Yyyyyyes, of course.” Caliper laughed leaning Hank back after coming out of his shock. “After what you said all the other ponies felt the need to tell me exactly how they felt and… that was a real wake up call.”
“Good.” Hank said and winced from Caliper’s prodding of his stomach wound.
Poking at the man’s flesh Caliper sighed looking down to the two stitches that did indeed rip free of the muscle, “I know this hurts but since you pumped yourself so full of painkillers I can’t administer anymore and-”
“It’s gonna hurt. Yeah yeah I know, just do it man.”
Looking at the man skeptical Caliper sighed and looked back down to the wound before him, “...Okay, I tried to warn you.”
Waving the pony off Hank did his best to stifle his grunts of pain and not clench his muscles too much or grind his teeth. Even through his efforts it was clearly obvious that the human was in pain to everyone around him, whether it was the sounds he was making or his legs kicking over the edge of the humvee.
This worried the two mares that had been kicked out of the truck and were sat next to it and eventually it became too much for the zebra and she had to say something.
“Are you okay Hank?”
“No I’m not Ok - Ow bastard what in the hell!? Getting shot hurt less than that!”
“If I you wouldn’t of drugged yourself up to go off and rail Celestia across the face-”
“Oh I’d rail her alright.”
Both of the stallions breaking out into laughter inside the humvee the two mares and the rest of the crowd that remained and had started talking to each other, apparently having nothing better to do, heard the banging of fist on steel as the two laughed.
Grumbling to herself Zecora stood up, walked over to Hank’s dangling leg, and gave it a firm punch causing the human to cry out in shock.
“Little anklebiters are jealous it seems.”
Not as much jealous, Zecora had just become accustomed to playfully hitting the human when he said something more crass, not that she didn’t find it funny.
“He’s fine.” Zecora said dismissively with a smile on her face to Redheart who laughed in return, ”But to answer your question, no. He really isn’t a violent person most of the time, it just comes out tenfold when something threatens him or does anything to people he cares about. He does like to make threats though, to everything, even inanimate objects. It’s honestly pretty funny.”
“I get the same feeling from him, I just didn’t know for sure. I also think that’s just part of how he talks I believe he says it as an alternative way to vent frustration, everypony has their own methods.” Redheart offered back while Zecora nodded.
The two continued to chat about various things, mostly centered around the human and what he was like, did, and how he generally existed. Hank was a very fascinating subject for ponies because of how different he was to them in almost every way. Even to the ones that knew him it was a struggle to try and decipher the man and understand him sometimes because he was so different from anything they had ever experienced before. It made sense that the more you got to know the man the more confusing it became to understand him because he was generally nice and courteous in his own way, but was also capable of causing unimaginable pain.
He was the definition of two extremes wrapped into one package, he could be extremely kind, generous, and understanding one moment and then immediately switch to a heartless and brutal weapon of death the next.
Ponies weren’t used to duality like that, if something was bad it was generally bad, if something was good it was generally good. That’s not to say that the two aspects never mixed, they often did, but never in the levels that Hank could offer. As such, most of the plaza in front of the hospital was alight with small quiet conversations about him and the events that had just transpired.
<><><> Two Hours later, same place, same people, same great flavor <><><>
Most of the crowd had dissipated in the past few hours after the action died down, all that remained now were ponies that were waiting on another in the hospital or devoted gossipers, of which there were plenty. Many of the benches and seats at nearby eateries were packed, however, as ponies retreated from the crowd but only far enough away to sit down and eat but not far enough away that the human and his strange vehicle were out of eye sight. It was a spectacle that was far too strange to turn away from.
The subject of the spectacle, Hank, was in a far different headspace as he lay on his stomach and let Caliper close and bandage the arrow wound in his ass. Trying his best to ignore the various sources of pain lighting up all across his body Hank couldn’t help but tense his legs as the tools the surgeon was using ran across a raw spot. Hearing Calper’s apology and ignoring it Hank laid his chin back down on his fist and took a deep breath. Running out of patients Hank grumbled, wanting to get home and lay down.
“Are you about done? I wanna get home.”
“Just a few more stitches, and are you sure you won’t stay in the hospital for at least one night? I pulled a whole stone (as in weight measurement system) of flint out of your right arm and you have three serious puncture wounds, one into your intestinal cavity.”
“For the last fucking time I am not going to stay in the damn hospital.” Hank barked back to Caliper tired of his insistence.
“Alright! Geez.” The pony shook his head, “It’s not like you’re badly injured or anything. It’s not like I-”
“Caliper if you don’t drop it, I’ll show you badly injured.” His head craned back to look to the pony sitting on top of his calf Hank’s eyes showed how little patience he had left.
Reading the expression easily Caliper raised his hooves and shut up. Turning his head back forward slowly Hank sighed again as the hospital doors opened in a golden glow. Some of the least injured ponies soon appeared walking out of the doors while looking every which way before finding those they were looking for and running to them.
Watching the ponies embrace and cry in happiness Hank felt a small amount of warmth in his chest. Watching Rarity soon after run to her little sister and group of friends with the dragon on her back, he could see the happiness on Aj and Fluttershy’s faces when they all hugged which made him crack a small smile as well.
Looking away from the rejoicing group Hank turned his attention to the large monarch that was approaching him. His smile switching to one of amusement at the sight of the purpling bruise on the side of Celestia’s face along with the blood stains that had long ago set in Celestia could tell the human found great joy in her appearance. Stopping a respectful amount away from the man Celestia tried to stand her tallest as Hank looked back at her, the surgeon perched on top of his leg giving her a quick glance before looking back down to what he was doing.
“All of the ponies in there credit you for saving them, they are all very thankful, and so are their loved ones.” Speaking with some difficulty due to the stiffness in her jaw Celestia admitted as Hank stared back at her his smile gone.
Looking back at the pony for a long uncomfortable silence Hank could see Celestia’s eyes nervously shifting around and her hooves moving ever so slightly as she twitched under his long hard gaze.
“No shit, I’d be pretty happy if my family weren't dead neither.” Hank responded immediately realizing his words may have been insensitive but also finding he really couldn’t give a fuck what Celestia had to say or was trying to get at.
Another pregnant pause forming between the two giants it was clear one was far more comfortable than the other, “I’m sorry about your family-”
“Don’t start.” Hank growled shutting Celestia down.
Lips slowly closing over his barred teeth Hank’s face returned to neutral and he took a deep breath, “All I care to know about is if you are going to try and apprehend me for some bullshit crime. So… Are ya?”
Never before had Celestia come across a creature that cared so little about her title, well that was a lie, she had but it had just been a very very long time ago.
“No, I do not plan on prosecuting you for your actions. Not that I won’t in the future if you do end up doing something illegal.” The large white pony responded as the human looked back at her, unreadable as usual, “You are not above the law in any sen-”
Words dying in her mouth as Celestia flinched back she looked at the human strangely as he bucked his hips ramming them into the metal of his vehicle. With a pained grunt Hank’s left leg that Caliper was sitting on rapidly contracted launching the pony over the human’s head with a surprised yelp.
A just a surprised look on Hank’s face Celestia caught the flying surgeon in her magical grasp as Hank started to roll around in the back of the humvee.
“Oh what the fuck!? WHAT THE FUCKKKK!?” The human cried out trying to reach back with his left arm to hold his cramping thigh only for his left shoulder to remind him not to do that.
“Son of a bitch-.” Hank swore rolling out of the humvee and onto the dry dirt with a thud.
It was a constant juggling match of trying to hold his injured shoulder, stomach, cramping left hamstring and calf, and now aching balls. The primal part of his brain telling him to run from the danger that caused the pain, a danger that wasn’t there, Hank was left to roll around on the ground while stumbling to get up onto one leg.
“J-Jesus Christ Caliper what in the fuck did you do!?” Hank looked over the pony as he was set down out of Celestia’s magic.
“I-I-I guess I hit a nerve! I thought I saw a piece of debris!” Caliper replied as Hank finally managed to get up on one foot and was hopping around erratically, right hand reached around his front holding onto his ass.
“Well...God-,” Hank started to swear again but was cut off as he slipped on a rock and was harshly thrown to the ground by gravity and his forward momentum, “DAMIT! Everything hurts! I’m stabbed, shot, battered, and fucking blown up! And you have to go stabbin’ at raw nerves!” Pointing at Caliper the human pushed himself back up and started hopping around again, his leg still seizing.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know that’s what it was!” A seriously apologetic Caliper said while Hank ignored him and continued stringing swears together under his breath.
The entire crowd turned and watching Hank somewhat bemused as he jumped around before tripping again but staying down instead of getting back up the human rolled over onto his back, chest heaving and looked up to the sky as the pain started to subside and his leg began to loosen. Taking deep breaths Hank started massaging his leg and trying to force it to extend.
Turning his head in the direction of the hospital Hank locked eyes with Caliper and Celstia before focusing on the surgeon.
“I can deal with getting stabbed and cut, that’s fine. But when you cause all this muscle to instantly tighten as hard as a rock it really fucking hurts. I feel it in my fucking back muscles, I feel it in my hips for christ’s sake.” Hank explained slapping his thigh.
“Yeah. yeah. I got it. I truly am sorry Hank.”
“Just watch what you’re doing.” Hank sternly said pointing at the pony before going lax while trying to catch his breath through his sore ribs.
“Are you okay?” Caliper asked with some hesitation while approaching the man.
Taking in a long breath Hank turned his head to the side and spit out a red stained ball of spit, “Do I look O-K?”
Groaning the injured human rolled onto his good side and slowly pushed himself to his knees. Pausing for a moment Hank started to get up onto his leg but found that the muscle fatigue had finally caught up with him, preventing him from getting up with only one working arm and leg.
“Fuck me.” Hank quietly said after his fifth attempt, landing on his knees.
Watching the human struggle to get up Celestia started to feel bad for the man as he clearly started to deflate at his sudden lack of strength. She was conflicted, as per usual with the human, on how to feel. On one hoof he had punched her, taken two of her feathers, stained much of her coat red with blood, covered her in his scent that was sure to not wash out, and most importantly slapped her flank leaving a double red handprint right over her cutie mark. But on the other he had saved the lives of many ponies, including an element, obviously not expecting a reward, and as much as it hurt to admit he had thrown her back into reality.
Before she had even finished her thought her body had already taken a step toward the man to help him. Maybe it was just her natural caring nature or something else but Celestia wanted to help Hank and as he turned his head and looked to her with his neutral snarl she softly smiled back.
Stopping next to his left side Celestia was noticeably taller than the human as he sat next to her on his knees and she had to look down to him, “Do you need help?”
Looking at her for a moment and doing his best to read her body language and face Hank squinted his eyes, “What is this?”
Giving a slight hum in response Celestia ignored the look on his face, “You need help getting up, so I’m here to help you.”
“What kinda sick joke is this?” Hank fired back after looking over the pony next to him further causing her small smile to fall, “What the fuck? You come here and scream at me for no good reason and then dislocate my jaw and now you want to help me!? What fucking merry go round bullshit goes on in you ponies heads to decide your actions?”
Letting out a dejected sigh Celestia looked down to the slipper she hit him with, a speckle of blood still present on its side, “I know you don’t believe me but I when I say I am sorry I mean it with every fiber of my being. I made a terrible, terrible mistake and I did not keep control of my emotions anywhere near what should be expected of me.” Holding the same hoof and slipper to her chest she looked Hank straight in the eye, showing off the red hand print and swelling around her eye.
“I think we just agreed on something Celestia.”
“What’s that?”
“You need to work on your emotions some.” Hank groaned in pain, his thigh starting to tighten again, “When I’m more level headed than somebody; that somebody needs some work.”
Sharing a gaze for a little bit Hank eventually sighed and hung his head, “Fine.”
Smile widening Celestia took a step closer to him and caught a look from the human, “What do you think you’re doing? Does that arm look operational? Other side fat ass.”
Rolling her eyes Celestia walked around to the other side of the human and lowered herself a little so he could wrap his arm around her and use her as a platform to pull himself up, “I would appreciate it if you did not call me such things.”
“Maybe when or if I ever respect you past “large threat”.” Wrapping said arm around the princess Hank groaned as he pulled himself to his wobbly feet.
Hank’s weight surprising her once again Celestia had to tighten the muscles in her back and legs as his weight became hers, “Is that all you really see me as?” Celestia asked as he started to hobble forward toward the vehicle still using her back as a platform.
“As You just tried to take my head off, or course I fucking do.”
Reaching the tailgate where he started Hank quickly transferred his hand from Celestia’s aggravatingly soft coat to the bloody cold steel of the Humvee. Giving Celestia a sideways glance Hank grumbled, “Thanks.”
Smiling back the best she could with the swelling on the side of her face Celestia looked up to the now standing human as he leaned on the Humvee, “You’re welcome.”
Grumbling Hank looked away from the princess, “Caliper get over here and fix this hole… without giving me a conniption.”
“Y-yeah, sorry.” Still feeling terrible about what he had done the small surgeon quickly rushed back over to the human and regathered his instruments before getting started again.
Needles being pushing back through Hank’s flesh once again the human took a deep breath and cooled his temper before realizing that he was in the center of town and everything that happened had been seen by many, many people. Also realizing that he really didn’t care all too much Hank slowly turned his head to the left and looked down to where Zecora and Red where sat looking back at him.
Giving the two a wink and a small grin Zecora relaxed upon seeing the smile on his face, knowing that he was doing alright despite the events that had transpired so far. Looking away from the two Hank turned his head the other way and looked over his shoulder behind him to where the others were. Seeing that they were partially looking his way he gave a small wave that was interupted by Caliper hitting another nerve.
Slamming his palm down to the tailgate and arching his back while looking up into the sky Hank fought the urge to turn around and stomp the ponies head in. Caliper on the other hand was clenching his teeth while tying the last stitch, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I hit another nerve on the last stitch but you’re done! Well… minus the bandage.”
Relaxing his muscles Hank growled, “Better fuckin’ be.”
“You know, I still have a b-”
“If you finish that sentence I will shoot you in the face.” Hank barked causing Caliper to snap his mouth shut and Celestia to give a small laugh as she walked away.
“Oh what are you laughin’ at now?” The irate human turned and asked causing his bad leg to buckle sending down to a knee again, “God... damnit.”
Raising an eyebrow at the man Celestia shook her head, “You have no trouble helping ponies but you refuse to let anypony help you past keeping your intestines in your body.”
“...And?” Hank squinted his eyes at the pony as he pulled himself up while waving Caliper off as he tried to assist.
“Are all humans as bull headed and stubborn as you?” Celestia asked half in jest and half true curiosity about Hank’s species and culture.
“All the ones still livin’, yes. And Before you start coming at me...” Pausing to stand back up Hank pointed to Celestia, “What is it with you and your sister having such big dicks sprouting out of your heads? It’s disproportionate.”
Shocked by the question Celestia didn’t know how to respond and didn’t know if she should since the absurd question had grabbed the question of nearly every other pony in the courtyard. Figuring she had to say something Celestia cleared her throat and called upon her thousand years of public speaking experience to hold down her embarrassment.
“It’s not a… phallus. It’s a horn. Alicorns have larger horns because…” Pausing Celestia realized she really didn’t know why alicorns had bigger horns, it was always just kind’ve... accepted that they did, “With the greater amount of magic that our bodies can call upon there needs to be a greater surface area to emit it.”
Very happy with her totally not made up seat of her pants reason the large white diarch didn’t even notice her student just a few feet away having a complete aneurysm at the lack of books for her to write this new and massive revelation in pony and alicorn biology.
Hank on the other hand seemed strangely offended by her answer and was looking around at the other ponies, noticeably where Clover and the two guards that had went with him were standing outside of the hospital doors.
“What the fuck is that shit?” Hank muttered before looking back to Celestia, “Yeah nah, that’s totally a dick. You have the biggest head dick cause you’re princess or whatever. You can’t fool me with that fake science mumbo jumbo.”
Knowing that he was playing with her, trying to wind her up Celestia shook her head, “It’s a horn. I don’t know what else to say.”
“Oh you can fuck off with that.” Hank looked at her incredulously, “If I started sucking on that thing I guarantee I’d have you on your knees and shootin’ whatever it is that comes out of that thing in three minutes.”
The shock of what Hank said causing a collective wave to go through the crowd even Celestia had to take a minute to digest what the human had just insinuated. Many jaws on the ground from Hank’s words even Applejack, Zecora, Redheart, and Fluttershy couldn’t believe it.
“Uh…. Uh. Excuse me?” Celestia laughed her cheeks showing the smallest amount of pink tint.
“What? Am I wrong?”
“W-well. I mean… I…..” Celestia’ brain immediately shut down as images started to run through it, images she could never forget even though she had made them up. “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about.”
Giving her a dismissing look Hank turned and pushed up the tailgate of the Humvee spilling the blood that had pooled on it, “Whatever, you’re blushing and thinking about things.”
Realizing that there was nothing she could do to one up a person that had no shame, no sense of embarrassment, Celestia huffed and turned to where the elements were sitting, “Ms. Rarity and Spike I am very happy that you are now back home and safe, if you need anything please do not hesitate to get into contact with me.” Celestia paused and turned her head as Hank closed the rear hatch with a slam and muttered something.
“As for you Twilight I apologize that we were unable to speak at all today, but things… happened.”
“Oh it’s fine princess. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes I’m fine I-”
“Celestia!” Hank called out and turned from the conversation he was having with Zecora and red getting the leader’s attention who quickly turned her head to face the man who was leaned against the back of the truck, “What are you still doing here?
“I am speaking with the Elements and my student.” Celestia said plainly hoping not to provoke a response out of the man, she wasn’t sure she could take much more of him without her mask utterly failing causing her to blush or to fire back with something. She was still a regular pony at her core after all.
“Yeah? Well, I’m tired of sitting over here watching that huge ass jiggle around while that “horn” pokes out of your head so I’m going to give you until I get my wobbly ass over there to get yourself out of here before I do something that’ll make you never want to leave my side.”
If what he said shocked her before Celestia was now completely blown away, along with the rest of the ponies present. Blinking the shock away Celestia focused on the human as he looked back to her, his small eyes boring a hole right into her.
Laughing nervously at his joke Celestia stopped laughing as he took his first unsure step toward her, his expression hungry like a bear that just woke from hibernation. Surly he was joking. Right? Celestia thought so initially but became increasingly unsure with each step forward the human took. He was too unpredictable, if he was willing to go into a diamond dog cave by himself and was willing to do and say very explicit things to one of the leaders of Equestria who knew what else he was liable to do, Celestia had to remind herself that this was no ordinary stallion, this wasn’t a stallion and he didn’t act like one…
“I...hmmm.” Celestia mumbled taking a step back from the approaching human. She wanted to run but a small part of her still held onto her status as a princess. Princesses don’t run, she’d been through battles and never taken a step back but this was different. Another part of her was curious as to what Hank could do, what did he mean by never leave his side? Well she knew but she didn’t know what it would entail and an ever growing part of her wanted to call his bluff or find out.
All of Celestia’s built up confidence was dashed though as Hank got a little to close and a deep rumbling chuckle started to come from his throat.
Taking a few more steps back Celestia looked to the group and Twilight, “I’m sorry but I think this an excellent time for me to go back to Canterlot, goodbye.”
Popping out of existence in a bright gold ball of light Hank stopped his approach to shield his eyes. Once the light was gone and everyone opened their eyes Celestia was gone and Hank was shaking his head while hobbling back toward his vehicle a large smile on his face.
“W-what was that!?” Twilight was the first to come out of her stupor.
“Yeah! What in the tartarus was that Hank!? What were ya gonna do to Princess Celestia?” Applejack asked immediately after Twilight.
Looking over his shoulder Hank grinned at Aj remembering what had happened that day he harvested some of the Apple’s apples, “She wasn't leaving fast enough... And wouldn’t you like to know little miss talks in her sleep.”
“Wha? Ah. . ?” Almost like a shock going through her body Aj suddenly remembered what he was talking about and promptly pursed her lips and sat down with her front hooves between her legs while blush spread across her cheeks. She didn’t know she talked in her sleep but if Hank was getting at what she figured he was that meant that he heard some inappropriate things.
Looking at their friend confused they looked back to Hank as he reached the truck before focusing back on their half orange half red compatriot.
“What does he mean Applejack?” Rarity asked, always the first in on all things gossip and things that should’ve stayed personal.
“N-nothin’! He meant nothin”!” The apple farmer stuttered out focusing on the dirt at her hooves.
“Darling~~~” Rarity’s all to familiar smile started to spread across her face as she pieced together what had happened on her own.
“Don’t you darlin’ me!” Applejack snapped and locked eyes with her bright white friend, “Our sisters are here let’s not talk ‘bout this now.” She retreated hanging her head knowing that she would have to speak about it eventually lest she never hear the end of it.
“Fine~.” Rarity said satisfied moving her eyes to Hank as he slowly limped back toward the Humvee, “Thank you Hank.”
“No big deal.” The human waved not looking back.
Opening her mouth and standing up, ready to say something Rarity felt a hoof on her shoulder and looked over to Applejack to see her shaking her head “no”.
“Don’t. He won’t let ya thank him, it’ll just start an argument and he don’t need that right now, neither do you.”
Sighing Rarity nodded, “You’re right. But I am going to pay him back. I don’t care what he says.”
With a strong conviction Rarity put her hoof down causing Applejack to chuckle, “I’ll just wish ya the best a luck now sugar.” Giving each other a glance, knowing how much of a task it would be Rarity and Applejack turned back into the group.
“Ah have been wondering what happened down in that cave though Rares. How did he get y’all back?”
Though the question was innocent enough Applejack didn’t realize the effect it had on Rarity.
“Yeah Rarity, what did he do?” Rainbow dash added as Rarity started to stare off, the sounds and sights of what had happened just hours ago still fresh in her mind.
“Are you okay Rarity?” Twilight nudged her friend who had grown even more pale and was staring at Hank.
“....I don’t want to talk about it.” Rarity said as she blinked and shook her gaze from the man as he opened the door for Zecora on the humvee.
“Rarity… What happened? Did-”
“I don’t want to talk about it!” The Purple haired pony snapped before immediately softening, “I-I’m so very sorry, I just don’t want to think about what happened in those caves. I. I just…. Y-you look at him now and he looks…. Normal, well as normal as he can.”
The girls all turn and focused on Hank as he smiled limping past Redheart and said something to the nurse.
“But I don’t know what switch gets flipped or what does it but that stallion in capable of things. Things I didn’t know could be done to another living creature. He’s so good at it that it’s scary, y-you don’t understand,” Rarity looked to her friends of all who were looking right back at her, “He might have gotten hurt but what he did to the diamond dogs is...is… something I wish I never have to witness ever again.”
Watching the truck start up the girls watched as it turned and then drove past them, Hank and Zecora both smiling and waving to them. Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack wove back as they watched as the truck quickly left town and disappeared over the hill with a roar of the engine.
“Do you think that zebra is in danger? Living with him I presume?” Twilight asked unnerved at the idea of anybody living with Hank.
“I think she’s the safest pony in the world.” Rarity answered.
“Why?” Twilight asked again.
“Cause’ if anythin’ wants to get to Zecora, they have to go through him.” Applejack answered this time getting a nod from Rarity and Fluttershy.
“He’s just one p-stallion though! Surely he can’t be that big of a deterrent.” Rainbow dash said dismissively as she hovered getting wide eyed looks from the three.
“Tell that to the hundreds of dead diamond dogs in the caves Dash.” Rarity said in a serious tone, “You really need to stop thinking about fighting with him. I see the way you look at him and I know what you’ve said in the past but seriously dear… for your own self preservation.”
A little shocked at Rarities words Rainbow was quick to attempt and brush it off, “Heh heh. Psh… Whatever. Let’s go get something to eat, I’m starving.”
“Ooo! Great idea.” Rarity was quick to agree and soon the rest of the band was as well.
“You’re always hungry Rainbow.” Fluttershy added as they started towards the restaurant side of town.
“So!? It’s all the flying I do!” Rainbow Dash defended as she flew next to the group as they walked.