We learned a few things before our sex marathon ended in a big, tired, sweaty, stained, panting, heaving fuckpile.

One, we learned that we needed more air freshener than we got. We ran out about an hour before we were done. In general, we kinda discovered a lot of things about participating in day-long sexual escapades, which could be summed up as 'Preparation preparation preparation.' The next time we did something like this, there would be snacks, plenty of ice water, towels, and lots more air freshener.

Two, turned out Derpy was open to the idea of bondage. Like, really open. As soon as Trixie brought out that silken rope and tied it around Derpy's wrists behind her back, a change came over the busty gray pegasus. She just seemed to melt into Trixie's chest, and was more than happy to let us ravish her helpless body. She mentioned afterwards that a lifetime of being clumsy had given her a feeling of being out of control at all times. Being tied down and used in such an intimate way by someone she trusted and loved (directed more towards me than Trixie), well, it made it feel like the world had finally stopped spinning, that someone was finally in control of her. I wondered if she felt similarly about my power of Normal. It was the first indication that an honest-to-God sex dungeon might actually be in my future.

Three, I really hated fleshlights. From the idea of them to the feel of them, I hated it. I would honestly prefer to use my own hands for the rest of my life than a male masturbation aid. The feel of pumping soft plastic up and down my dick, even heated and with lube, filled me with such disgusting embarrassment that I couldn't manage a minute before tossing it aside. Which was a shame, because I was dying more than ever for tight vaginal intercourse.

So towards the end of the marathon, the multi-orgasmic mares were finally reaching their limits in terms of stamina, but it was I who was still antsy because I hadn't cum in nearly an hour. Not for lack of trying, but because my cock was so used to titfucks, handjobs, magicjobs, hotdogging, and even thighjobs, my fuck-addled brain was screaming, 'No! Just cum inside something for once!' But I couldn't go for a mouth, pussy, or even an asshole, because my cum was addictive when taken internally and we'd all agreed to avoid unnecessary exposure.

It was Trixie who came up with a solution to my need for a final orgasm, which happened to be our final position for the evening.

I sat at the head of the bed while Derpy smothered my cock with her sweaty, lubed-up, milky breasts. Her hands were pressing small bullet-vibrators against her nipples, making milk spray erratically. Trixie's magic helped squeeze the two prize-watermelon-sized tits together even more tightly, nearly flattening them against my dick, enhancing the pressure. (Derpy didn't seem to find the harsh squeezing of her breasts uncomfortable, thankfully.) Trixie, meanwhile, was up on her knees behind Derpy, gently thrusting into the pegasus's bubbly ass with a curved double-headed dildo that was deeply inserted in the unicorn's pussy.

Oh yeah, Derpy was also opening up to anal. She refused to take anything in her pussy because she wanted to save it for me ("How romantic!" Trixie had teased), but she quickly agreed to let Trixie 'train' her ass with magic, lots of lube, and a small army of increasingly large dildos.

At my end of this train, after a few long minutes, I was finally starting to feel release. Derpy's cleavage was as close to that old hentai standby 'titpussy' as it was ever going to get. It was hot, wet, and tight – and if I closed my eyes, I could almost mistake it for a pussy that I was on the verge of breeding with my spunk.

My eyes crossed. The eruption began, exploding out of Derpy's tightly squeezed tits and splattering onto her muzzle. Trixie's horn released Derpy's boobs and focused on buzzing her own clit while she humped Derpy's ass, making her cum a short while later. Derpy, who'd been having tiny nipple-gasms pretty much the entire time thanks to the bullet vibes, moaned out as one more full-body orgasm finally overtook her. Her tits spurted out their last milk, drained again for what had to be the third time today. The girl could produce.

We all extracted ourselves from each other and collapsed onto the bed. Covered in cum and milk, on utterly ruined bedsheets, all of us in contact with the other two with at least a hand or a leg.

"Thank you," I gasped out. I rubbed my eyes to get them to focus again. My overworked dick finally wilted into softness. "I think that's it for me... Fucking hell..."

Trixie crawled up to the head of the bed, planted her cheek onto a milk-soggy cushion, and gave me a pat on the stomach. "Well done Pascal..." she said as she slowly pulled the dripping double-ended dildo out of her cunt. "You've reached the end with two satisfied mares. Still worried about your performance?"

My head immediately went for a self-deprecating comment. I caught it, held my tongue and reconsidered, then said, "As much as I appreciate the ego boost... Fairer to say you exhausted one mare and one man, since you were basically in charge of this whole thing."

"Uh-huh..." Derpy mumbled into the bed, her hands beneath her, rubbing her tender nipples.

"But yeah," I continued, seeing Trixie narrow her eyes at me, "I guess."

Trixie rolled over, one of her legs drooping off the edge of the bed. "Oh, for the love of..." she muttered weakly. "You just had sex for, what, six or seven hours today? And you're worried that you didn't fuck us hard enough?"

"I didn't fuck you at all," I fired back, staring up at the ceiling. "My tongue and my hands did the work. And that one time, my foot."

"You get what I mean..." Trixie replied. "Sex is a team effort, Pasky. You don't have to be the big, brutish stallion power-fucking beautiful mares 'til they can't walk anymore every fucking time. You just have to be a team player."

"Oh, I'm not walking anywhere," Derpy groaned as she rolled over. She reached up with her hand and lovingly rubbed the top of my thigh. "And you were a great team player..."

I sighed, grinned a little despite myself, and shrugged. "Eh. Lifetime of porn, unrealistic expectations. Par for the course."

"Something we'll work hard on," Trixie breathed out, her massive blue breasts rising and falling on her chest.

We all laid together in a big, tired, sweaty, stained, panting, heaving fuckpile while the setting sun cast rays of orange and red through the window curtains. The clock on the wall showed that the time was about 6:15. The big meeting was at 7:30, just after the change from sun to moon, when both Princesses would be able to attend.

"Ah fuck, we gotta shower and get ready, don't we..." I muttered.

I blinked–

–and the next thing I knew, Derpy was calling out "See ya!" as she and Trixie walked out of the bedroom. They were both clothed, Trixie in her magician's outfit and Derpy in another white-and-gold robe fitted for busty pegasus mares. I looked over at the clock and realized I'd lost about 30 minutes of time to my impromptu nap. Seemed the girls were planning on arriving early and seeing who showed up. As the door closed behind the mares, leaving me alone in the room on the heavily stained bed, I groaned and made my best effort to roll out and stumble towards the bathroom, my muscles burning every step of the way.

I was already naked, so I just stepped into the vacant, finely crafted tub and turned on the spray. It was still warm, and my body relaxed in the heat. I entertained myself by thinking about the size of this shower; it was fairly snug when Derpy and I shared it, so I wondered if she and Trixie showered together and if their ginormous breasts inevitably rubbed up against each other. I grinned and let out a breath of relief.

There was a flash of golden light. Just outside the tub stood Princess Celestia – nude, but not her huge Sex Doll form, just her tall and 'petite' self (which meant D-cups and a tastefully curvy bum). Without saying a word, she turned around and knelt down on the tile floor, her legs spread. Because of her incredible height, she had to get on her knees just to put her ass at my crotch level. Her waving auroral tail gently flagged to the side, and her insanely plump pussy lips parted of their own accord, 'winking' her oversized clit at me and showing the bright pink depths within that were dripping with the Princess's steamy arousal.

One whiff of that pussy brought me to half-mast almost in an instant, along with reminding me of the other sex marathon I'd had recently. The one with the Princess of the Sun I'd been trying to put out of my mind. Terrible, arousing memories.

Celestia didn't wait. My hips were gripped with golden magic, and I was thrust into the Princess's backside, cock-first. My feet banged against the edge of the bathtub, but the pain was quickly drowned out by the pleasure of, at long last, vaginal sex. I could almost hear the screaming 'YEEEESSS!' in my mind as the hot wet embrace of Celestia's cunt squeezed around me and milked my cock to full erection.

Knowing that we were both long gone, I planted my feet and started to thrust. We had no choice, I thought, and I assumed she had to be thinking much the same thing. We both moaned helplessly, slamming our bodies into each other with wanton abandon.

The Princess's body was just as addicting and all-consuming as before. She'd been crafted to be the ultimate gangbang sex slave, and by God, she was using everything she had on me.

I had no concept of how much time passed – only that the next thing I knew I was spewing as deep as I could into Celestia's womb, flooding it with the very last sperm I had left. My brain burst into fireworks of true satisfaction, not just patient orgasms hard-fought for, but the pure and primal joy of fucking. I realized whole seconds later that Celestia was moaning too, and her cunt had a vice-like grip on my cock, holding me hostage balls-deep inside her.

The high came down for both of us and we were left panting for breath in a palace bathroom. The sound of the hot shower still running couldn't drown out the blood pounding in my ears, nor Celestia's heaving breaths that were quickly threatening to turn into sobs.

"H-Hey," I said reflexively, placing a hand on the small of her back. She flinched under my palm. I tried my best attempt at a comforting rub. "We'll... We'll get through this."

Princess Celestia glanced back at me out of the corner of her eye. She looked distraught and ashamed. But before her horn lit up and she disappeared, I could have sworn that her expression lightened for a split-second.

I stumbled back into the shower and slid down onto my bottom, letting the showerhead soak me from head to toe. "Somehow," I added.

After spending extra time getting rid of Eau de Princess Pony in Heat, I got dressed in my old street clothes from Saturday and left the royal guest suite. Halfway down the hall, I turned around and saw a small team of ponies wearing surgical masks storming our room with an arsenal of cleaning products. Blushing in embarrassment, I soldiered on.

A royal guard gave me directions to the meeting. I passed by a number of other guards and servants who would occasionally give me a glance but otherwise paid me no mind. My first impressions of the palace had been when the western wing was emptied out (to prevent me from Normalizing anyone else on my way to the Princess), so it was nice to see this place when it had life and activity. On the other hand, it was Monday evening at the changing of the guard, not Saturday night when a potential enemy of the state was coming to visit.

I turned down a hallway and spotted a yellow pegasus wearing a blue officer's uniform. The thunderbolt patch on the shoulder could only mean one person. "Spitfire?"

The Wonderbolts Captain turned around, Starbucks-esque paper coffee cup in hand and F-cups swinging within her dress shirt. "Pascal?" She blinked and seemed to see me a second time. Spitfire grinned and waited for me to catch up. "Pascal! Hey, how're you doing? Besides being alive, obviously."

I fell into lock-step for a walk 'n' talk with the third mare of Saturday's Normal Pervert Squad. Thinking partially about the dull ache in my balls, I replied, "Um, tired. Relieved and tired."

"Yeah, I feel that." Spitfire took a sip of her coffee. "So what was the 'third' option?"

After glancing around to make sure nopony was in earshot, I said, "Turned out to be... going to sacrifice myself and then having Celestia accept me of her own free will anyway."

"Huh. How'd you figure that one out?"

"We didn't figure it out, it just kinda... happened that way."

Spitfire looked over at me, grinned, and clapped me on the shoulder. "So! Your inner angel won out."

"Yeah," I said with a sheepish smile. "Couldn't handle the total perversion route. Wasn't worth it."

The Wonderbolt gave me a playful shove and said, "Heh heh heh! I knew you had it in you." When I gave her a skeptical look, she added, "Sure, I was worried you were on the fence. But I could see the potential for good inside. I'll only take as much credit as I deserve here."

We came up to a large doorway guarded by a pair of royal unicorn guards, an entrance to a restricted section of the palace. They nodded as we approached because we were expected, and they opened the door to allow us through before closing it behind us. Ahead was a four-way junction, and just beyond that was another large doorway opened up to a fairly large conference room – where the upcoming big meeting was going to be held. Inside, seated at the round table, was Derpy, Trixie, and Moondancer. The three of them waved to us when they spotted us in the hallway. There was also Raven, one of Celestia's top aides, and a few other official-looking ponies I didn't recognize.

The two of us stopped in front of the open door to the conference room and turned to face each other. "Well, thanks for helping me Saturday either way," I said to Spitfire. "I know I kinda foisted a lot on ya."

Spitfire shrugged, then lifted one finger from her coffee cup to point at me. "Speaking of: We had our first meeting about the, ah, 'issue' today. It went..." She lifted her other hand and wiggled it horizontally. "...kinda meh."

"Sounds about right," I admitted.

"Funny thing was, everypony was in agreement about the problem. Everyone agreed that sexual frustration was a big, longstanding issue. Lot of ponies were happy that we were finally taking it seriously. It's just that people are skeptical that making the Wonderbolts more sexually active will solve the problem. Some ponies tossed up some interesting alternative ideas, but... I dunno, your 'maintenance sex' proposal is probably the strongest so far."

I chuckled a bit at that. "Not bad for an idea I threw out there on a whim to save my life."

"I'm wondering if the power's making it seem more appealing, though."

I tilted my head from side to side as I thought about it. "I think it's taking out some of the social negatives, sure, but... Otherwise, it sounds like you're judging it on practical terms, which is the one big stumbling block for the power. An idea can seem 'normal,' but if the logistics don't check out, it's not really a 'good' idea anymore."

"Yeah, but... Somepony else suggests a different idea, and it's not as 'normal' as yours. You get what I'm saying?"

"Hmmm. Maybe I should go over there and say something like, 'It's Normal for solutions to serious sexual problems in the workplace to be judged with an open mind.'"

I felt a weird pulse from somewhere deep within me, and Spitfire blinked and shook her head like it had been gathering dust. "Right. Yeah, that's just common sense. Don't know why we made such a big deal of it."

I was given pause by her casual statement. There was something weird about what just happened and what Spitfire had just said...

Had I just used my power in some way that worked... retroactively?

Without having to be spread via word of mouth?

No, it couldn't be... Could it?

The guarded door at the opposite end of the hall from us opened, revealing a mint-green unicorn and a beige earth pony. "Oh my gosh, this is so cool!" the unicorn mare squeaked. Then she saw me. "Pascal! You're here!!"

I was glomped by a running tackle. "Hey, Lyra," I mumbled into her shoulder.

Lyra let go and grinned at the Wonderbolt right next to me. "Oh wow, and Captain Spitfire! You know each other? Can I get your autograph?"

"Sure. Later, after the meeting," Spitfire replied.

"Awesome. Hey, so this is it, huh?" Lyra said, turning to me without missing a beat. "We finally, finally get to learn the truth about humans! Did you convince her to come clean?"

Spitfire took a sip from her coffee and raised an eyebrow. "Humans, huh? I came here to be told about why Equestria's been sexually repressed for hundreds of years." She looked at me with an expression that easily read, Those issues are probably related, huh?

My mouth scrunched into a tense frown and I nodded back. Yeah...

"Really?!" Lyra exclaimed in equal parts obliviousness and excitement. "Wow, this meeting's gonna have everything, huh?"

"Pretty much..." I muttered. One of the items on the agenda was going to be... me, the Avatar of Acceptance. And I couldn't help but remember what happened back in the Ponyville train station.

Bon Bon finally caught up to us at her casual strolling pace. Her expression was barely disguised relief. "You're still ah-... here," she said, and I didn't miss how she replaced the word 'alive' at the last second.

"Yeah..." I answered carefully.

"So... there's finally peace?" Bon Bon asked hopefully in that coded way of hers.

I nodded. "It's over. We're both fine."

The secret agent finally allowed herself to relax, and actually wiped a bit of sweat off her forehead, dragging her hand down the side of her face. I understood why – she'd been assigned by Celestia to watch over me in case I was up to something dangerous, but with next to no intel and having her girlfriend borderline obsessed with me. It must have been a stressful 17 days or so.

Struck by a pang of conscience, I grabbed Lyra's hand and gently pulled her away from Spitfire, leading them back up the hallway. "If I could just speak with you two for a sec..." I explained to Spitfire as we gained distance. The Wonderbolt watched curiously but stayed put.

"What's up, Pascal?" Lyra wondered. Bon Bon's face fell as she realized what I wanted to talk about.

I let go of her hand and rubbed the back of my neck with it. "Look, um... Saturday afternoon, right before I left Ponyville..."

The green unicorn blinked. "Oh, the blowjob? I know about it."

I froze. My whole body tensed. Internally, I thought, One day, just one of these damn days, I'm gonna get through a whole 24 hours without these ponies throwing a wild curveball at me.

"I told her," Bon Bon murmured, looking aside.

"Yeaaahhhh... The awkward thing about that is..." Lyra pressed her index fingers together in front of her soccer-ball-sized bust and twisted them pensively. "I had already asked if we could bring you in for a... threesome. And Bon Bon had finally agreed. It was just a matter of when to ask you."

Wait, so it wasn't cheating? my brain immediately went. I gave myself a mental slap across the back of the skull. No, it still was because I didn't know at the time, dumbass.

"Well... still," I restarted, doing my damnedest to recover, "what I... made Bon Bon do was beyond the pale."

"I agreed to it," the undercover agent mare muttered, not meeting eyes with me. "You hardly 'made' me."

I shook my head. They were about to learn what I could really do, so I had to get in front of this now. "I did, through... some kind of social psychological pressure. And I did it out of malice and anger. Without knowing about any plans for a threesome, without asking anything. I... I asked for it because I thought it would be hot to get a blowjob from a lesbian." I sighed and hung my head. "So there you go. I'm... sorry."

Lyra watched me with a pout. Bon Bon took a deep breath and finally turned her head towards me. "I accept your apology. You were angry. If I was in your position, learning what you just learned... I might've taken a little revenge too. All in all, no harm was done."

I couldn't accept that that wasn't just the Normal talking. "I... It still shouldn't have happened." I didn't have a great number of regrets about the first three days of my power, all things considered, but I'd finally come to terms with that incident being one of them. "I was out of line."

"I know," Bon Bon replied, her voice firm but warm. "I still accept your apology."

I finally let myself release the breath I'd been holding. "Okay... okay. Thank you."

Lyra smiled and hugged us both. "Awwwww. I seriously can't get enough of you two getting along! It's like my favorite people in the whole wide world finally working together!"

"And the people you want to get in bed with the most," Bon Bon teased her 'best friend.' Lyra's response was to stick her tongue out at her 'best friend' and giggle, which didn't fail to get a smile out of her. The special agent broke the hug apart and said, "Let's go ahead and get seated. The sooner we do, the sooner the meeting can start, and the sooner we can all find out the 'truth.'"

Lyra saluted. "Yes, ma'am!" She and Bon Bon headed towards the conference room, waving at me.

I walked back towards Spitfire, who was just kind of smirking at me over her coffee. "It wasn't just Saturday, was it? You had this power since, what, Thursday? How many shenanigans did you cause in those three days?"

Chuckling nervously, I made vague upward gestures with my hands. "It was kind of a... ramp. Started out small, and then..."

"Suddenly you're hypnotizing Wonderbolts and blowing up sexual blimps in the stadium?" Spitfire finished with a grin. "Turning a Prince's fundraiser into a theologically driven orgy?"

"Yeah, something like that."

The doors at the other end of the hall opened again, this time followed by a sound that was an awful lot like boing! Boing! "Whoopee! I've never been down this hallway before!"

I turned around, and there they were: Pinkie Pie, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and the other four Elements of Harmony. Six ponies that I had last seen together at... a topless party thrown on my behalf. Judging by the mildly embarrassed looks on their faces as they noticed me, they also remembered that night quite vividly. It had just been last Friday, after all.

Except for Pinkie, who was as chipper as ever. "Heya Pascal! How ya dooooin'?"

"Just fine, Pinkie," I called down the hall.

I watched the parade of larger-than-life breasts roll by. Pinkie Pie happily bounced past us and into the conference room, her enormous balloons flopping around menacingly within her t-shirt. Rarity walked by with a polite smile but not a word, carrying bags from Canterlot Fashion Week beneath her tastefully dressed megabust. She was followed by a blushing Fluttershy who was hiding behind her mane but visibly smiling a little bit, her hands interlocked over the biggest pair in the room that obscured her whole torso. Applejack lazily raised her hand in acknowledgement but otherwise didn't seem to care about me as she walked by with her tits bouncing within her red plaid shirt. And then there were the spectacular buttocks on these horse-women...

Rainbow Dash (the relatively petite one) flew up to me and Spitfire, her posture stiff and her arm raised in salute. "Captain Spitfire, ma'am! Honor to see you– Didn't– Didn't expect you to be here!" she declared, tripping over her words a bit.

"At ease, Reserve," Spitfire replied smugly. "I'm off duty."

"Yes ma'am," Dash answered, and landed her feet on the ground. It took her a couple more seconds to remember to lower the salute.

Twilight Sparkle (the average one, breasts merely the size of regular melons) walked up to me with a concerned look on her face. "Pascal... I'm sorry I had to leave, but... Should you really have left on your own? To Canterlot?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Twilight. I had healed rapidly. And I kinda had to. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be standing before you as Pascal. I would be..." I wracked my brain for the most normal-sounding name for a pony stallion. Weirdly, one came to mind very fast. "'Crystal Ball,' the most boring pony on the planet." Oh, please don't tell me that's what the 'other me' was going to pick if he won...

Twilight's eyes widened as I talked about the spell candidly, looking worriedly at Spitfire and Rainbow Dash.

"Don't worry about them," I muttered as I caught her panicked expression. "That's what this meeting is about anyway."

"O-Oh, it is...?" Twilight mumbled, her big purple pupils shrinking a tiny bit. "Oh no..." In a daze, she hurried into the conference room.

Yeah, that was going to be a tough one. 'This perverted human got demigodlike power and it's all thanks to Twilight!' I wasn't sure how much Normal was going to cover that. I wasn't sure if I should try to cover it against Twilight's eventual anger.

I at least hoped she hadn't found out about her super-endowed parents fucking in front of the stadium yet...

"So, um," Rainbow Dash mumbled, looking between me and Spitfire, "you two know each other?"

Speaking of ponies who were going to murder me... I scrambled to think of something to brush it off. "Oh, well, y'know, we just kinda... It was sort of a thing where... Y'know, I was just walking around, when–"

"He fucked me in the ass twice," Spitfire stated flat-out, and then took another sip of her coffee.

I made a sound like a cricket had gotten lodged in my throat.

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened, then she looked over at me, then at Spitfire, then at me, then at Spitfire... This went on for too many cycles. She finally scratched the back of her unkempt rainbow mane and said, "Is... Is that right...? Um... Great? I guess?"

"Is there a problem, recruit?" Spitfire challenged her.

Dash put up her hands defensively. "Oh no no no! That's um, that's your business... Uh... Yeah, I'll just... Yeah." She spun on her heels and marched into the conference room robotically.

I glared at Spitfire. "Haaaate," I muttered under my breath. Spitfire hid her mad giggling behind her coffee cup.

Rainbow poked her head back out, and the two of us straightened out. "Oh yeah!" she said, pointing at me. "You survived your meeting with Celestia, so I guess I owe you a... thing." She trailed off as she stared at the two of us again, and that stare turned into a thousand-yard stare into the wall behind us, like the image of us together couldn't get out of her mind. "Um... But not if you and the Cap'n do, uh... somethin'... before... yeah..." She awkwardly popped back into the room and left us alone.

I went back to being grumpy, and Spitfire went back to being smug as hell. "Pascaaaaaal," Spitfire said to me with a teasing lilt. "What did you do to my Reserrrrrve?"

Scratching my arm, I muttered under my breath, "I may... have convinced her that she likes... sucking... my dick."

Spitfire's eyes bugged out and she immediately turned towards the wall, bringing her arm up to her muzzle and hiding her hysterical burst of laughter in the crook of her arm. After three rounds of whining like a whistle from within her lungs, she finally pulled her arm away and whispered, "How the hell did you manage that?!" with a massive grin on her face.

"It... was a party!" I mumbled back. "She was being kind of a jerk, a little. I needed to test how far my powers could go. It kinda..."

The doors opposite from us opened again, and I grimaced. Great, who else from my past was about to walk in and remind me of my failures and the impending drama I was about to cause when my secret was revealed?!

When the doors fully parted, I had a few thoughts all at once, causing a mental six-lane pileup.

I've never met her in-person before.

She's tall. Of course she's tall.

Goddamn he's tall though!

She's bigger than Fluttershy!!

Only the tiniest bit smaller than Luna, too.

Jesus, that crotch-bulge – how much is her husband packing?

Princess Cadance's boobs entered the hallway. Followed by her baby belly. Followed by the rest of her and her husband, Shining Armor, walking beside her with his arm hooked in hers. They walked slowly – Cadance seemed to have a little trouble walking at a full pace, and there were signs that at least one of them was using magic to keep her whole... front-carriage from wobbling around too much.

My eyes locked on to the pink-and-gold dress with heart motifs that was covering Cadance's expansive body – and the expansive booty behind her as well. The cleavage window was scandalously large, exposing everything from her collarbone to three-quarters of the way down to her nips, the fist-sized indents of which in the pink fabric were impossible to miss. Even so, they were deformed and spread out around her round belly. She looked like she could be expecting in a couple of months at most. On any other woman, such a feature would be front and center. But on Cadance, that growing symbol of life was eclipsed by the mother's growing readiness to feed. Eclipsed like a beach ball being fought over by two curled-up children.

And they were getting closer. God help me.

A rugged clearing of the throat broke me out of my boob-worshiping stupor, coming from the husband standing next to her and glowering at me. Shining Armor stood barely an inch shorter than his wife, which meant they both stood about a foot taller than the rest of us. And beneath the formal soldier's uniform he was wearing, he was very clearly ripped, giving him an incredibly imposing presence. Not to mention the bulge to rival Big Macintosh or Fancy Pants or Prince Blueblood down below, making me feel more than a little inadequate. These damn ponies...

"Princess Cadance. Prince Shining Armor," Spitfire said cordially, trying not to smile at my complete lack of tact.

"Hello Captain Spitfire," Princess Cadance replied with a little nod of her head. "And this must be–"

"Pascal, Twilight's newest 'project,'" her husband finished for her without taking his eyes off me.

I repressed the urge to roll my head in despair. Of course Twilight would've CC'd these two while she was writing to Celestia. Why wouldn't she keep them informed of the new developments in Ponyville? Composing myself the best I could, I said, "I take it Twilight wasn't terribly... flattering about me."

With a bashful smile, Cadance said, "Oh, just the facts." She reached over and placed her other hand on Shining Armor's bulging upper arm. "I mean, getting torn from your own world and waking up in another where everyone is ten times, well, 'bigger'... Can you imagine?"

"Hmph," was all Shining Armor said as he kept glaring at me.

I knew this glare. This was the protective Big Brother glare. This had been leveled at me once before by Big Mac. It was a look that said without words, 'There better not be any funny business between you and my sister if you know what's good for you.' In any other instance, I would love to assure Shining that we were fine and I had no ill intent towards Twilight Sparkle... except for the fact that the 'funny business' had already happened. Thrice. And if he didn't know yet, there was no way he wasn't going to find out.

Whoops.

"So! Uh..." Cadance said awkwardly – you could almost see the sweat drop running down the side of her head. "This meeting is about your status in Equestria, then?"

"That, and... one other big thing," I mumbled back, doing my best to look her in the eyes.

"Right, riiiiight... Shall we?" And Cadance practically pushed Shining Armor into the conference room before he could invent a way to shoot laser-eyebeams at me.

Spitfire watched them enter and looked into the room at large. "That seems to be everypony," she remarked. "All we're waiting on is the other two Princesses." She pulled back and shot me an evil grin. "They're all about to find out you're a mind-controller, aren't they? And that you've had sex with more than half of them. You are so fucked."

I sighed. My nerves started to creep back into my arms, making my fingers twitch. "Well... they're also about to find out the reason why I'm still valuable enough to keep around... But yeah. I'm just a little bit fucked."

Considering the events of the day so far, that was saying something.