Eight steep downward steps later, and I was standing in front of the door to The Horizon Joint restaurant. The level of the sidewalk was above my head. A great deal of trepidation and anxiety wound up my nerves, and I paused in front of the door for more than a few seconds.

My only romantic experiences up to this point had been some shitty puppy love in grade school and a long-distance relationship that literally went nowhere. The rest of my life mostly featured my nose in a book or in front of a computer screen, usually amongst other guys. It dawned on me that I had never actually been on a date. Especially not with a girl– no, a woman, a mare so sexy and loving as Derpy. And here I was, walking in with naught but the gifts of others – the fitted tuxedo from Fancy Pants, the reservation from Trixie – and... well, a demigod-like power pulsing in my chest. I didn't really have so much to be worried about, but that didn't stop clichés and media expectations from raising their voices and demanding to know whether this was going to be romantic enough for the movies.

Fuck it. I firmly grasped the door handle and walked inside.

The interior of The Horizon Joint was primarily three things: brick, wood, and orange. It was also small and a little cramped. Magical lamplight cast everything in an aggressively cozy haze. On my forward-left was a long island station serving as a bar, not that far from the entrance. Along the walls, the booths were carved into the bricks, so that each group would have their own little nook lit by an overhead lamp and separated from each other by more bricks. At the moment, there were barely a few customers here already, so the din of the room was low and I could hear the sounds of the kitchen in the distance.

In the middle of me taking this all in, a cyan mare with a prodigious rack bound by a button-up uniform came up to a podium in front of me and smiled at me while her hands reached for some menus. "Hello! Welcome to The Horizon Joint!" she greeted me with a warm customer-service tone. "Just one?"

I cleared my throat, and didn't try too hard to avoid staring at her swaying breasts. "No, I'm here to meet Ditsy Doo, also goes by Derpy? Trixie Lulamoon set this up."

The waiter's eyes widened, and a hint of red flushed into her cheeks. "Oh! So you're..." She trailed off as she seemed to finally take in my appearance – namely the fact that I wasn't a species she recognized. "Oh. Okay! Um..." She put her hands on the podium and leaned forward with an apologetic look on her face (an apology I already considered forgiven with the way her chest pressed against the wooden stand). "Sorry, we get a lot of different kinds of folks here, and we have plenty of options for catering to their unique dietary needs, but... I'm afraid I'm not familiar with..."

"That's okay – I'm the only one of my kind in Equestria," I replied with an understanding smile. "I'm human."

She nodded quickly. "Human! Wow, okay." She gave me a studying look and pressed her hands together palm-to-palm in front of her lips. "So... have you been to an Equestrian restaurant before? What are the indigestibles for humans – do you know?"

Back in my first week in Equestria, quarantined at Ponyville General Hospital, this had been one of the subjects that Twilight Sparkle had rigorously questioned and tested me for. I'd never really had a reason to rattle this list off, but it had been kind of an interesting detail so I remembered some of it. Counting off on my fingers, I said, "No rocks or gems... No grasses or flowers..." When that ran out, I just called upon my grade-school health class food pyramid. "I can eat grain products; fruits and tender vegetables; dairy products; meat, nuts, and proteins; fats and oils... and sweets, I guess."

"Uh-huh," the waiter said, still momentarily confused. Her hand reached down again and pulled out one of the menus from the podium. "So if I were to give you, say, a griffon menu..."

I thought about it for a moment. "I'm not as big a fan of raw meat."

"Oh, we can cook it however you like it, that's fine."

I nodded. "Then that'll work."

The customer-service smile returned now that the problem had been overcome. "Great! I'll take you to Ditsy's table." I followed her, admiring the way her tail and rear swayed, and as we walked, she said, "The mare who set this up – Trixie? – she asked me to give you two a spot that was a little more private and romantic." Indeed, it looked like we were headed towards one of the further corner booths. "I take it this is a date?" she said.

"More of a... chance to relax and pretend we're normal after a harrowing adventure," I said in response.

The waiter laughed. "Oho, yeah! Seems like people in Equestria get sucked into adventures all the time; we get a couple of those types every once in a while. Nothing helps you relax like some good company and great food!"

"That's what we're hopin'," I said kind of wearily. I just wanted to be with Derpy already. "But yeah, it's also kind of a date."

"Oooh, you found love on this adventure?"

To say the least. "Oh yeah."

She giggled and said, "Well, I'll keep things running smoothly for you, so all you have to worry about is having a good time. Here we are!"

We finally arrived at a corner booth that had a round table inside rather than a two-sided bench set-up. I only saw a hint of gray behind the border of the brick wall as we approached, but then we got in front of the table and... well, my breath was taken away.

Derpy wasn't nude, for once. But she was tantalizingly close.

The only thing she was wearing was a transparent babydoll nightie that hugged her milk-bombers just a little bit tightly. There was a more solidly white-colored section across the center of her chest with lacy frills, preventing her nipples and areolae from being seen in their full glory (besides the indentations of those attention-seeking nubs) and framing her creamy cleavage in a stretched-out U. But the rest of the gown was ghostly silk, reaching down to tickle the swell of her hips but no further. She had no panties or underwear of any kind on, so the only thing hiding her soft, swollen marehood were her incredibly thick thighs. But her feet, they were wrapped in a pair of gladiator-style sandals with straps weaving up to just beneath her knees, all of them colored gold to match her mane and eyes.

I must have been staring, slack-jawed, mouth dry, for a solid eight seconds or so. I jolted out of it and just breathed out a "Woooow."

Derpy burst out into bubbly giggles. "You're– You're not looking so bad yourself, Pasky!" I had completely forgotten I was wearing a tailored tux – that she'd never gotten to see me wear until now, since it had been at the cleaners' for a while. "Like the main character of a spy story!"

"You two make a gorgeous couple..." our waiter said in an almost dreamy tone. Then she seemed to realize what she said and cleared her throat. "Um, I'll be back with some waters! I'll take your orders whenever you're ready!" And she took off.

I managed to make my way to the other end of the three-quarters-circle bench and sit down. When I did, Derpy across from me scooted towards the center. I got the idea and scooted there myself. A few seconds later, we were sitting side by side in the center, feeling each other's warmth and looking out into the restaurant. She reached up and kissed my cheek, and I responded automatically by reaching my arm behind her back to steady her as I kissed her forcefully on the lips. She hummed into me pleasantly, our tongues began to dance and duel...

After not too long, we pulled away. "Plenty... of time for that later," she breathed out.

"It was long overdue, at least that much," I remarked. I looked down at her lingerie again and lost my breath again. "Damn... You really figured out this whole 'exhibitionist fashion' thing, huh?"

She bashfully wriggled backwards, intentionally-or-unintentionally giving me a greater view of her chest decoration. The presences of her thick nipples made themselves greater known through the fabric. "Trixie helped a lot. And, um, Sassy Saddles. Trixie, mm, maybe used my permission to go nude to tease her a bit."

I playfully smirked. "Ah, so it's all Trixie's fault," I deadpanned.

"Alright alright, it was fun for me too," Derpy admitted, pretending to pout. A simple smile grew on her face despite herself. "The whole day was fun. Trixie's fun."

"Is she? Good! I was hoping you two would hit it off."

"Yeah, she's..." Derpy stared off into space for a little bit. "She pushes you, and she gets right up to the borderline, but then... then all of a sudden, the guard drops, and she shows a side of herself that is really just so genuine, and so honest. She's learned a lot, and..." Derpy nuzzled her head into my neck. "And yeah, I'm falling for her."

"Awww." I rubbed my cheek against her mane – then thought better of it, because now that I was looking at it and feeling it, something amazing had been done with her mane. Instead of her usual carefree casual style, it had been meticulously brushed and styled down one shoulder. It was like a waterfall of bright gold running down from her head. Probably for the best I didn't mess with it, then. Trying to get my mind back on topic, I said, "Yeah, uh... Yeah, that's the Trixie I kinda fell for, too." With a chuckle, I added, "It sounds like Trixie feels similarly about you. Er, similarly to me, about you, I mean."

Derpy hugged my waist with the arm that was buried between us. "I'm still surprised that I'm getting along with Trixie, of all ponies... but between you and her, I think there's nopony else I'd rather start a harem with." With her other hand, she put a finger on her bottom lip ponderously. "Except maybe Princess Luna."

The thought of that... "Oooh, now that'd be a steal."

A sly look came over Derpy's face. "Might be more likely than you think..."

"You've got an inside line?" I asked, my eyebrows raising a bit.

"She's visited my dreams a couple of times. I may have mentioned it. We're getting along great, honestly."

Tonight was a night for getting dumbstruck over and over again, apparently. When I shook out of this newest spell, I said, "Might make things awkward with Celestia, though."

"How's that going? If you can tell me."

I thought for only a split-second. "Derpy, I'm gonna need someone of my own to talk to about these 'therapy' sessions, and I think it ought to be you."

Derpy looked up at me with a smile. "I'd be happy to be your assistant, Pasky."

The waiter mare came by with a tray a moment later and placed two glasses of ice water on the table. "There you go – my name is Ocean Lily, I'll be your server tonight. Do you need more time to order?"

My menu hadn't even been opened. "Yeah."

"Could we get two more empty glasses? With just a little bit of ice?" Derpy asked out of the blue.

"Uh, sure! I'll be right back with that, and then we can figure out drinks and appetizers and whatnot." Ocean Lily hurried off.

Two empty glasses? My eyes slowly drifted down towards my fantastic view of Derpy's cleavage. "Ohhh man..." I whispered.

Derpy grinned almost evilly at me. "I know you love your milk."

"No, I love your mil– wait." I clenched my eyes shut. "That sounded weird."

The gray-and-blonde pegasus busted out laughing – mission accomplished. She got caught up in a couple of laugh-snort cycles before finally managing to catch her breath. "Ahh... Well, hopefully I'll be sampling your 'milk' soon enough. And not just on my tits, but... ahhhh~" She opened her mouth and let her tongue loll out for a second, before pulling it back and grinning again.

A pulse of excitement washed through me. "Cannot wait."

'Clink clink.' Ocean Lily was back with our ice-only glasses. "Allllright. Need more time to decide?"

I was definitely clueless as to what I could eat here, but Derpy immediately responded with, "I'll still have a soda. And I think I'll start with some salad skewers." Ocean Lily jotted that down.

"Huh?" I looked over to Derpy's menu, which was open and had a picture of the aforementioned appetizer. It was a plate of skewers, each stacked with alternating chunks of lettuce, cucumber, avocados, cherry tomatoes, and drizzled with some kind of salad dressing. "That sounds nothing like what I would usually eat, but tonight's a night for trying new things, so why not?"

"Double order of salad skewers, then?" Ocean asked. We both nodded in response. "Alright! I'll get that set up for ya while you, uh–" Ocean Lily was blushing again. "–enjoy yourselves and decide on your entrées." And then she was off again.

Once the waiter was out of earshot, Derpy shot me a conspiratorial look and reached for the empty glasses. "Help me?" With her other hand, she lifted up her nightie, exposing her soft and massive yet buoyant gray gazongas to the open air without a care in the world. She got up onto her knees atop the bench and looked at me expectantly.

"...My God, yes."

When Derpy placed the glasses under her teats, she used both her hands to navigate her left nipple into her spare glass, while I was entrusted to guide her right nub into what would be mine. Exposed and darkening, they were already leaking tiny drips. As I ran my hands all along her breast in a milking motion, spurts of creamy white spilled into the glass, accompanied by a quiver that nearly toppled the cups over. It was more of an effort than either of us expected, I think, but it was so inexplicably hot that neither of us cared. The more breastmilk came out, the thirstier I got, and the more Derpy's hips squirmed against her seat.

We narrowly avoided spillage by pulling out of each glass just in time. Once both teats were free, we both got the same idea: She raised up and licked away at one nipple while I vacuum-sealed my mouth onto the other, sucking and licking away the excess milk and accidentally drawing out a little more. It took all of my willpower to pull off and avoid causing a milkgasm... and when I did, Derpy still sucked away for a few seconds longer before reluctantly relenting.

Derpy slumped back into her seat, her face red and sweaty from the breast stimulation. Then again, so was mine. Weakly, Derpy reached for her milk-and-ice-filled glass and lifted it towards me.

"A toast?" I asked, reaching for my own.

Derpy nodded, and we clinked the glasses against each other and took a few gulps. As always, Derpy's pony-milk was delicious and nutritious.

"It's probably not as good as Celestia's..." Derpy mumbled as she lowered her glass.

I leaned forward and kissed her, then licked up her milk-mustache. "It's not sending me into a dangerous drug-like haze, so as far as I'm concerned, yours is the best milk on the planet."

"Flatterer..." Derpy murmured bashfully with a smile.

We had lost a lot of time with each other, and there was a sense of desperation since we both knew we would be spending an even longer time apart. So the rest of the night, even amidst our food arriving and us eating, was just spent chatting and talking, drifting in and out of various topics without rhyme or reason.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" I said at one point. I reached into the inside pocket of my tuxedo and pulled out the last VIP ticket to the Fashion Week Beauty in Bloom show.

Derpy immediately snatched it out of my hands and stared at it with amazed marvel. "I heard about this! Can I go?!"

"Well, uh... Is that gonna fit with your work schedule?"

"My route usually ends by the afternoon, so absolutely! I'll go super fast tomorrow to make sure!"

A wave of relief washed over me. "Awesome. Don't overwork yourself, but... Yeah, Trixie, Moondancer, and Spitfire are going to be there too. Hoity Toity gave me four tickets."

Derpy tilted her head at me. "But... what about your ticket?" Then it dawned on her. "Oh."

I shrugged. "I don't think they're gonna stop me."

"But what if there aren't enough seats in the VIP section...?"

"Well, then I guess somepony's gonna have to sit in someone else's lap."

The salad skewers were... alright. What follows probably explains why I was so out of shape at the start of all this, but my diet was far more on the 'carni-' side of 'omnivore.' At least the skewers had a bleu cheese dressing on them that was pretty tasty, and my mind had been slowly opening to be more vegetarian over the last month. After all, if any creature in the multiverse could make a salad that could convert my pizza-singularity of a palate, it would probably be ponies.

"I got you something too!" Derpy reached under the table and lifted up a fairly large paper bag. The handles of a different gift bag were sticking up out of it, suggesting to me that there were several sacks from different stores in that one large bag. Derpy dug her arm into it for a few seconds, before pulling out a small but thick black book. "I was thinking of making it a surprise, but... here!"

She handed it over to me, and I opened it.

Derpy went on, "You said you used to have a device that was communicator, calendar, planner, contact list, and everything all in one, so... And especially since you want to be a therapist, probably with a bunch of clients...!"

It was a pocket-sized weekly planner notebook. A very professional-looking one with its own pen and a socket for storing it. And in the front and back were extra sections for writing down notes or contact and address information.

Nervously, Derpy continued, "You kinda... struck me as the sort of person that would like a practical gift more than a fancy one..."

Would I ever get a chance to breathe air or speak words again? Because they kept getting taken away from me. "Derpy, this... I don't think even Twilight would've thought of this. Thank you." She beamed, and I handed the planner back over to Derpy so she could put it back in the bag for now. I didn't need a small book fighting for room in my pants.

Eventually, I managed to decide on an order. They served pasta here, and I was so, so tempted to just order a big ol' plate of spaghetti and recreate that one scene from Lady and the Tramp, because how else would you describe us?

But I can only stomach so much spaghetti in reality, so I went with a chicken alfredo penne (because it felt like it had been ages since I'd last had it), and Derpy, in solidarity, went with more of a vegetarian pasta primavera.

Before she left, the waiter asked Derpy how she felt about me eating meat, since that was a common complaint among mixed-species couples. Many ponies don't like the smell or even the idea of meat, and in fact it was almost exclusively foreign nations that produced it. Derpy said she didn't care for it herself, but she also said she wasn't going to gag or anything. Crisis averted, I suppose.

We refilled our glasses of milk with Derpy's breasts, and it was just as hot as the first time around. I was seriously starting to worry about my own leakage problem... And Derpy was bringing herself to the edge of orgasm at this point – she really liked having her breasts played with. We could barely take our hands off each other for a few minutes, which gave our waiter and some of the other guests across the restaurant quite a show. Eventually, we managed to calm down and drink our glasses of milk.

"So Spitfire came over today."

"Oh?" Derpy asked, having finished off the last salad skewer.

"Yeah, looking for stress relief. And... apparently, I'm way better at hypnosis than I even knew." I looked down at one hand. "I think I'm figuring out how my special brand of magic works, too."

"Oh my gosh." She wiped off her muzzle with a napkin. "Well, I definitely want to try out the hypnosis thing. I know Trixie does, too. Mmmaybe not tonight, though."

"Yeah, I was kinda wanting tonight to be 'natural' too."

"Mmhmm. But, uh, the magic thing!" Derpy rested her elbows on the table and her chin on the tops of her hands, which had the side-effect of framing her babydoll-bound boobs against the table too. Her look towards me was one of growing excitement. "What have you learned so far?"

"Well, I still can't use telekinesis yet, which is kinda frustrating," I half-joked. "But, I think it's like– I know how to cast spells with my words, with description. I can describe a complex effect and... make that normal."

"Kind of how it always worked," Derpy said with a nod.

A good point there. But there was something scary about what I had been learning. "You know how Discord can just kind of snap his fingers and make literally anything happen anywhere in the world?"

"I saw you snap your fingers a couple of times to do things," Derpy said with a nod.

"Yeah. I feel like, I'm going to get to a point where, as long as I give it enough description beforehand... I could also do just about anything. Make anything normal."

"Like shrink Celestia's breasts?"

I felt like I had been struck by a jolt of electricity. "...What?"

Derpy shrugged, not noticing my reaction. "If you can make anything normal, even change reality... maybe you can get to a point where you can change everypony's 'normal' size? I dunno, it was just a thought I had bouncing around."

I put a hand to my forehead. "Shit, you might be right. I don't think I'm there yet – I burned out just changing two-and-a-half things about my own aura, and deep-trancing Spitfire took out about 30%... but shit. I might be the cure."

"I think you are," Derpy said a bit more confidently, smiling. "That's what Cadance and I were trying to say all along, remember? As long as you believe in yourself, and keep working at it... you'll be able to do legendary things with this power. And you're already on your way."

I leaned back against the plush seat and the brick wall behind me, eyes wide. And then I just had to chuckle to myself. "This is why I need help. I never would've thought of that on my own."

The brightest, most wholesome smile yet graced Derpy's muzzle. "Anytime."

Our food and sodas finally arrived. It was pretty much what I expected. Not that it wasn't quite good – full compliments to the chef and all – but more in the sense that 'this is something I could've eaten on my home world, and if I close my eyes I could almost pretend I'm back there.' Frankly, this whole place felt like somewhere I'd been to on a trip to Seattle once, a few blocks away from the Pike Place Market...

Another forkful of alfredo penne helped take the edge off the melancholy.

"So, when do I get to meet your parents?" I asked semi-jokingly to get my mind off other things.

Derpy jolted in her seat and looked aside sheepishly. "Oh, I don't know..."

"Some awkwardness there?"

"No, I just... They live up in Cloudsdale and I moved to Ponyville because... things happened. Not family things – medical things."

"Oh."

Derpy squirmed in her seat. "Most of the awkwardness is because, well, I'll never get to meet your..." She trailed off and cringed at herself.

I wanted to pretend that the implication simply bounced off my chest in a cool, manly way, but I sighed a bit instead. "No. No you're not." I put my hand on my fist and rested my lips against them. "It's not that I dearly miss them, per se– agh, no. Y'know, the thing is..." I was fumbling on the words and growing more angry at myself, because I didn't want to come off as a heartless jerk but here we were. "If I'd had the choice. If I'd been able to get my affairs in order THEN come here... I imagine I would've jumped at the chance. As it is, I've left them with a shitty way to..." I paused again. "I'm not as sad to leave them behind as much as I feel guilty that, for all they know, I've been abducted by space aliens, never to be seen again for the rest of their lives. That's going to devastate... some of them."

Derpy listened respectfully and nodded her head when I made it clear I'd said my piece. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that," she said contritely. "All of these things, out of your control."

"I'm just glad to be finally back in control," I muttered. I stabbed lifelessly at my breaded chicken. In a hurry to change the subject, I said, "So, we'll probably put off the 'Meet the Parents' thing 'til later...?"

Derpy pouted. "Maybe. I–I'm not sure how to tell them I'm basically dating a sex guru and his other marefriend. Even if your power will make them kind of okay with that. Still..."

I chuckled. "Yeah, pretty much."

Neither of us were in any hurry to finish our pasta.

"So, do you have your eye on anyone else for the harem? Besides Luna?" I asked playfully.

Derpy stopped mid-sip (of soda, not milk) and I was suddenly glad I had not asked a few seconds later and caused a spit-take all over our food. Carefully, Derpy set her glass down and unconvincingly said, "Noooooo..."

"I'm not gonna be offended either way," I promised. And I wasn't. Despite my usual sad-sackery that Trixie loved to criticize, I really was growing more confident in my sexual abilities, at least among ponies. And now that my body could be magically changed, catching up to stallions in terms of stamina and control was a matter of choice, no longer genetics.

"Well– okay." Derpy put her hands in her lap, her arms straight and stiff. "It's not really like real plans, more just fantasies. But I think... it would be really nice... if we could get Big Mac into our group."

I took a deep breath, held it... and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, no, I see it."

"Especially since you and him already had a thing, apparently...?" Derpy asked searchingly. "You never told me exactly what happened."

"It was pretty gay," I deadpanned. "But nah, Big Mac's a cool dude and we already have a rapport. And there's something to be said practically for, once we have an excess number of girls, adding another phallus to go around. Nah, I get it."

Derpy squirmed uncomfortably for a few more moments, then asked, "What if... one of us... had the second phallus?"

Ah, the dickmare question again. "As long as nothing's going near my ass, it's probably fine. Well, I might need some time and some heads-up, but, y'know."

"But, I mean, like, to help with the other girls... and guys that are into that..."

"Hey, as long as everyone's having a good time," I said with a smirk.

Relief washed over Derpy's features. "I'm glad you're so open-minded."

"Oh, I've had plenty of time to figure out where my boundaries are, believe me." I took a sip of my own soda, then frowned. "Hold on, shoot. Big Mac got together with Cheerilee, didn't he? So that's a moot point."

Derpy shook her head. "He asked her out. They went on a date. It didn't seem to work out and they're staying friends again."

That was a surprise to me. "Wait, really??"

"Yeah, heard about it from the rumor mill when I went to Ponyville to get you an extra change of clothes."

"Dang."

We were just about finished with our food. Now we were talking for talking's sake, letting time slip away from us. "I mentioned the medical thing..." Derpy began.

"Yeah?"

"It, um... There's a thing I wanted to talk to you about that." Derpy was staring at the table, not me.

I steadied myself. "Okay. Is it... about your eyes?"

When Derpy looked up, to my mild astonishment, she was smiling, and her big golden eyes were tearing up a bit. "Sort of? I..." Her voice was choking up, and she took a moment to clear her throat. "Sorry. So, I never told you... My eyes started to go like this when I was pretty young." She blinked hard and her eyes swiveled in opposite directions, possibly for emphasis. "At the same time... I was a pretty good flier at that age, but I started to get really bad vertigo, like really intense dizzy spells. Kinda... dangerous for a flier."

"Derpy..." I mumbled, not sure what else to say.

"I got surgery to help stabilize the eye problem, and that, y'know, sort of helped with the vertigo problems. But ever since then, I've had basically chronic dizziness. Just every so often, I lose balance or... drop something."

I nodded slowly, coming to grips with this knowledge. "Okay."

Unexpectedly, Derpy reached out and placed her hand on mine. "I wanted to tell you that because I feel like... that's changed."

"What?"

"Ever since you put that spell on me..." Derpy's eyes blinked, and there were now tears gently falling down across her cheeks. "The one that says all the encouraging things and and lets me see your changes... I haven't had one dizzy spell. Not one."

Forget my jaw – my whole body slackened save for my eyes and I just stared at her in disbelief.

Derpy began wiping her eyes. "And I thought, maybe I'm just happy and they're coming in mild... but it's been too long. I think... I think your power is helping something in my brain."

"Holy..."

"And I kinda didn't want to tell you, because I don't want to hold you emotionally hostage or anything like that... but at the same time..." She scooched closer to me and placed her hands on my chest, staring deep into my eyes as best she could. "You're my hero, Pascal, and I want you to know that."

I was speechless. I just hugged her and fought back tears.

Could I have healing powers, too? Could I extend my powers to reinforce the 'status quo' of the body? Were such forces at work in my own body right this moment? These questions put me in a disconnected state for a while.

Ocean Lily dropped off the bill for our meal. It was a fairly tidy sum. Derpy dropped a bag of golden bits on the table (with Trixie's cutie mark printed on it, bizarrely) and told her to keep the change as a tip. Ocean Lily looked ecstatic and dropped off practically a bowl's worth of mints on her last visit, but I was still a world and a half away.

"Still thinking about the whole dizzy spell thing?" Derpy finally asked me.

I shook my head out of it and sighed. "Every time I talk with you, you open my mind in some way," I remarked.

"You're a really good listener," she replied. "I like having someone to talk to for a change."

My hand was on her shoulder at this moment, and I rubbed my thumb along her soft upper arm. "If there's anything else you want to talk about, I'm here. We've, ah, kinda opened the well, I feel like."

Derpy was quiet for a few moments. "I shouldn't, but..." She hesitated for a little bit longer, and then, forcefully, asked, "How do you feel about children?"

I tried not to frown too much. "Not great... since I'm going to be exploring my own capacity for hedonism and all. Also, genetics."

Derpy sighed. "I know asking about having kids is kind of a red flag for first-date talk, but... I dunno, I thought it might be valid, since we're two different species and all, I mean..."

"Hey, I'm fine. This is more like our third or fourth date anyway."

She looked up at me questioningly. "What were the first two?"

"Well, my couch... the topless party..." I searched a bit for the third I was possibly thinking of. "Maybe the time we've spent in the palace?"

"Oh. I guess that makes sense." Derpy nuzzled her head into my shoulder again. "So... here we go. I've never thought much about actually... breeding. Because... genetics." She blinked her eyes a few times on that last word, perhaps unconsciously.

Oof, I thought. "I understand."

"But I have thought about being a foster parent. And I've babysat for some of my friends and loved it. I've always had kind of a maternal instinct, I think... Did I tell you how I got my cutie mark?"

"No, you haven't!" I couldn't help but get a little excited. At last, the cutie mark story of Derpy Hooves herself!

"Well, it's not special. I just... There was this crying foal, and I wanted to help him... so I blew some bubbles and popped them in front of his face. And he started smiling and laughing, and... that's when my cutie mark appeared!" Derpy was blushing with embarrassment. "I know, I know. No Sonic Rainbooms or anything..."

I shook my head with a smile. "No no, it's very you. Doing the simple things to put a smile on someone's face, to help them when they're down."

"Exactly..." Derpy closed her eyes and rested against my shoulder like it was a pillow. "I applied for to open up for foster care at one point, but I'm alone, and... well, I've had one too many accidents at work."

There went the happy mood. All I could do was let out an "Awwwwwwwww."

"So I'm not in any hurry, is what I mean," Derpy said quickly, opening her eyes again. "But, I just wanted you to know... that's a thing. A thing I'm still interested in."

"Noted." I sighed. "I'm more worried about this whole idea of sexually liberating Equestria, and how we're going to address the issue of potential exposure to... the underage. Just sort of one more thing on the pile."

"So you're still thinking about that mission," Derpy observed. "Good."

"Well, I'm in no hurry," I admitted. "Kinda want to get things more stable first."

"Okay, but..." Derpy pulled away and looked up at my face again. "I don't want to put it off forever. You know how some people complain about what they'd do if they were rich, or if they were in charge, and then they get to that point and they just... do the things they were complaining about?"

I nodded grimly, seeing her point.

"We've 'made it,' in terms of sex. I think it'd be very tempting to just hoard it to ourselves and grow our harem forever, but... I want to commit to that mission, of making sure everyone has the chance that we have, so they don't have to grow up hating their own bodies."

It was so adorably earnest, the way she said it, that I had to resist the urge to ruffle her mane. I settled for rubbing her arm some more. "That's why I think of you as the emotional core of that mission. We wouldn't even have a chance if it weren't for you, and how you shaped me that day. And don't worry, I am committed. ...But I'm also a little overwhelmed right now."

"I totally understand," Derpy said, smiling softly.

"You usually do," I quipped.

I looked down at the table. Our food was all eaten. Our bill was paid. The glasses of water, breastmilk, and soda were all drained. Beyond the booth, customers were coming and going as the dinnertime rush began.

"I think it's time," I said quietly to my marefriend. "Shall we head back to the palace?"

"And do what?" Derpy asked faux-innocently. Like she didn't even know.

I bounced my eyebrows a couple of times. "I dunno... Screw each other silly?"