I woke up the next morning – barely got a lick of sleep due to stress. Especially because I knew at that point that my influence was spreading throughout the castle, maybe even while I was asleep.

Sure enough, as soon as the servants find out I'm awake, there's about six of them knocking on the door to my room going, "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza? Can we help you in any way, I mean any way?" Being a Princess comes with a certain amount of unconditional selfless love, even if I wasn't and still am not as popular as Celestia. Thankfully there wasn't much eros towards me among them, or at least so little that it was drowned out by agape.

All of those ponies offering to help and see to my every need in the morning... and I'll admit, I was groggy and disheveled and completely clueless what to do about all this. So I gave up, shrugged my shoulders, and said, "Sure."

I'll tell you something: I've been pampered a lot as a young Princess and given a lot of preferential treatment. But what I got from those servants was something else. Even the crystal ponies at their most sycophantic rarely compare to what those six did. Brushing my mane and tail for me, bringing me breakfast, massaging my hooves to take out every bit of soreness... Almost all of them offered to give me a sponge bath, but thankfully they didn't take my refusal too badly.

"So this is it?" Pascal asked me, leaning back and folding his arms. "The one time on Day 2 that you 'abused' your power and enjoyed the luxury it brought you?"

My eyes widened for a second. I quickly became rather contrite and my face went a shade pinker. "Oh. Um, if we're counting this... then no, I guess there were two big exceptions. The other one happened at the party."

I don't mean to say that they just buzzed around me like mindless drones. The whole time, they were each pouring their hearts out about how much I meant to them, the first times they saw me, the impacts I'd made in their lives serving as an example... It was a very moving experience, too. I became much deeper friends with several of them. In fact, you could say I poached one of those servants from Celestia when we moved to the crystal palace, and she's still working with us.

Anyway. I had a very lovely morning, but I was still worried. This birthday party was already going to be a big event, but with this unstoppable love aura still active, I was worried about causing real harm. I'm happy to say now that I was lucky and nothing super wrong happened, but at the time I was thinking, It'll only take one unhealthy, unrequited love being inflamed to cause a horrible incident!

I had one plan: Get the party cancelled.

I finished getting dressed and went out into the castle to find Kibitz, Celestia's Royal Scheduling Adviser. I didn't have a great relationship with him and didn't really see him often, but I thought that if anypony could get the party moved to a different date and time while I figured this out, it was Kibitz.

Unfortunately, I didn't find him and wasted a lot of time trying to do so. He's the sort of stallion that's always on the move. If somepony tells you where he is and you go there, chances are he's already two steps ahead of you by then. I've sort of learned how to catch up to him these days, but at the time I was still a fledgling Princess and had never made use of him before. Meanwhile, I was running around the castle, and no doubt spreading my 'aura' with each new hallway I traversed.

Eventually, I thought, It's a long shot, but maybe I can see if Raven can help instead. She's Celestia's top aide, and even though my party wasn't exactly within her purview, I figured she could talk to the right ponies to get it rescheduled.

So I fly through the castle to Raven's office. Good news: She's there. Bad news: I hear some very vigorous noises beyond the door.

From what I understand, Raven was secretly a rather promiscuous mare for a while, rotating through a variety of partners to deal with the stress of advising Celestia. She's happily married now, so I'm not sure what changed, but apparently she was full of pent-up eros and now unleashing it on whoever her current coltfriend was back then. I think it was actually her future husband.

But I'm exasperated and at the end of my rope. Even though I can hear them from outside, I pretend I hadn't and knock on the door. There's this very obvious and panicked scrambling, and then – "Come in...!"

I sigh and walk in. Raven's at her desk. Her chair's been pulled up so close to it that her belly is pressed against the table. She's still got a bit of a flush on her face. I roll my eyes and say, "Raven, I need your help. I cannot, cannot go to the birthday party today. Is there any chance we can move it?"

She starts to respond, but she interrupts herself with an involuntary gasp and moan, and I hear something bump under the desk. And I'm just standing there trying not to look like I know exactly what's going on, just like, Ugh, come on...

Eventually, she manages to pull herself together and says, "Are you sick?"

That's the best way to explain it. "Yeah, yeah I am. Don't want to spread it around."

"Check in with the Royal Physician and get me a note from her, and I can look into it."

Now that's not good. Based on the pattern today, I can already guess how a 'check-up' is going to play out in close quarters. I reply, "I'll... I'll see what I can do..." and try to get out of there.

Before I go, Raven suddenly asks, "Hey, um... Happy birthday. How... How steady are you and Shining Armor, by the way...?"

I... pretend I hadn't heard that and kinda slam the door behind me.

I skip lunch. After a long and frustrating morning, watching this get worse and worse and worse, I decide that what I need is to get out of the castle, get away from all living ponies. Normally I'm supposed to have an escort when I leave the limits of Canterlot, but I just completely skip the guards and take to the clouds. I found a nice big cloud over Ponyville to hide in and sulk for a couple of hours.

It was then that I started to really confront the idea that I might be stuck with this forever. Maybe it was just a product of the Princess of Love turning 18 and couldn't be turned off. If so, how could I possibly plan around it? Would I need to exile myself? Find an abandoned island and form my own sovereign nation of lovestruck ponies? Could I maybe use it to my advantage in Equestria? This is when I was really tempted, you see. To make the most of it, to abuse it. If everypony's at max love all the time around me... well, ponies in passion are pretty easy to manipulate, to control. I thought back to the morning's treatment, and imagined what it'd be like to really have a bunch of loving drones serving my every whim. I... might've indulged the fantasy a few times while I was sitting on that lonely cloud. My libido had broken through the panic and come back with a vengeance.

Eventually a Royal Guard spots me – thankfully I'm back to being decent by then – and escorts me back into town. This wasn't the first time I'd "disappeared," so all I got was some tired admonishments for running off. But now the birthday party was closer than ever, and there was no time left to cancel or delay it.

My new plan is to show up, stay just long enough so that the guests have a chance to say hello, then fake illness and duck out as soon as possible. If I keep the exposure very short, I thought, I could avoid affecting them too badly.

First things first, gotta get my gift. I grab a quick shower at the castle, then fly down to the repair shop to get Shiny's gift. I meet Mrs. Watch, who is in a much sunnier mood than yesterday, and she says I'm lucky I got my 'project' finished because Mr. Clock suddenly developed a hip problem and will be taking a vacation for a couple of days. As I walk out of there, I'm thinking, Now I've done it; this out-of-control power is causing real physical harm! (Though the two of them told me years later that that burst of intimacy was just what their marriage needed at the time.)

I get back to my room at the palace and start getting ready for the party. I refuse to get any help with it, so I do all of it – my mane, my makeup, my dress – all by myself. Which made it take much longer, and the day's constant stress didn't help. There was one strand of my mane that refused to stay straight, the eyeshadow couldn't conceal the bags that were forming under my eyes, and every time I tried the trademark Princess Smile, my teeth would grind and make me look crazy. It was not my best look.

But I have no choice. It was time to go to the birthday party.

Celestia set aside a big ballroom in the palace for the event, and already everypony I know is there. The Princess, her nephew Blueblood, Shining's parents, little teenage Twilight Sparkle, and all of our school friends and teachers. The only pony who's not there is Shining, who was running late. And that was bad – if I left before we blew out candles, got our presents, did all the photo-op stuff, I was sure the night would be ruined for everypony else. The big one-eight is an important time in a young mare's life, and all these ponies wanted to be part of it.

I say hello after hello after hello after hello, but as soon as I can I grab a glass of punch and hide in a corner of the ballroom. I start coughing to set up the story that I'm getting sick so ponies will stay away from me. It doesn't work that well. Not that distance really mattered, because the radius of this thing was more than enough to affect the entire room no matter where I was standing.

Already I'm seeing effects of my non-stop love magic. Night Light and Twilight Velvet can't keep their hands off each other. Blueblood's got a gaggle of teen mares hanging on his every word. And little Twilight is bawling all of a sudden, crying about how two of her best friends in the whole world will be going away soon. (Even though Shining would just be working in the palace, so he'd stay in Canterlot. I would be leaving for a while.) Even though she was never the romantic type, if there was one type of love Twily embodied with all of her heart, it was storge, the love of family.

About 20 minutes in, when I'm really considering just sneaking out of the party, Princess Celestia walks up to me and asks, "Can I speak to you alone for a minute?" And I start freaking out – She knows! She knows and she's gonna kill me! But what can I do but follow along?

We go out into the garden, away from everypony else. She starts talking at me, but I'm stuck in my own head trying to think of a way out of this. And just as I'm about to break down, to tell her everything and beg for forgiveness–

Celestia grabs my head and kisses me. On the mouth. With tongue.

"Wooooaaaahhh!" Derpy exclaimed, her mismatched eyes open as wide as they could go.

"Right?!" Shining agreed, adjusting his crotch-pouch to try and contain his massively growing excitement. "I mean– just– wow."

Then I realize what words I'd been drowning out: Celestia's nervous admission of forbidden attraction. More than a little repressed eros. Towards me. And I'll admit it, I kissed her back. It was a once-in-a-lifetime chance, and I went all-in on it. It was scorching hot. I still get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it.

But many seconds pass, and I start to worry. I couldn't let this go on. I didn't love her like I loved Shiny. And I couldn't believe Celestia would really love me like that in her right mind. If Celestia found out what drove her to this, not only would it ruin her reputation, it would probably break her heart. So I did the only thing I could do: Cast a dizziness spell on her while she was distracted. When she stumbled back, I set her down on a bench nearby and quietly went back to the party. I sent a guard to look after her. When she broke out of it, she would assume that somepony had spiked the punch – that's the excuse everypony believed to explain what happened.

"That's the big reveal...?" Pascal asked more than a little incredulously. "You kissed Celestia and got away with it?"

"That's huge!" Derpy insisted on my behalf. "Nopony knew she was a former sex slave back then! She was the pure, innocent, assumed-virgin Princess of Equestria! She didn't kiss anypony!!"

"But everypony sure wanted to," Shining admitted, rubbing the back of his neck and blushing. "She had that whole ageless, unattainable goddess factor going on. Wasn't a colt or filly in Equestria who didn't fantasize about her at least once. When Cadance told me, I wasn't even mad – more like jealous."

Pascal furrowed his brow and looked around the table in bewilderment. "It was just a kiss..."

Getting back to the story... I immediately run and find Twilight, trying to ignore the makeouts that were already happening in the ballroom.

Twilight's seated at the edge of the ballroom, sniffling to herself. (She always had a hard time socializing at these sorts of events.) Then I run up and grab her shoulders, and I'm like, "Twilight, if you have ever loved me, I need your help with a magical problem right now."

A little extreme, I admit, but she sits up and pays attention. I swear, she invented a whole new category of love for magic and academia. She gives me the cutest little salute and says, "What's wrong?"

I try to explain to her as best I can without any lurid details... or indeed giving away that I'm affecting everypony in the room at that exact moment. So actually I didn't explain it very well at all! But I said, "Suppose, hypothetically, there's a pony that enchanted herself at max power with no locus in mind at time of casting, and the enchantment lasts at least 24 hours. Dispel doesn't work. What do you do?"

"Well this is why it's always important to prepare a Failsafe spell for–"

"I don't have a Failsafe spell for this! What do I do?!"

"...What was in the caster's mind at time of casting?"

"Um... uh... Passion? ...Longing?"

"It's possible the self-enchantment, then, is shaped by the locus of desire. It is trying to fulfill or gather something the caster perceived to be lacking. Theoretically, if the caster gets what they 'want,' the enchantment should be satisfied. ...What's this all about, Cadie?"

And while I'm thinking to myself, trying to recall that late-night masturbation session and remember what I 'wanted' at that exact moment... That's when Shining finally walks through the door.

"Mind if I take over for a bit?" my husband asked.

I nodded at him.

"So I'm not exactly showing up in my Sunday best either. My train was late, and all I could do was grab a quick shower before going to this birthday party. But as I'm walking up to the ballroom, I can already feel the tingling of Cadance's magic wash over me. I was pretty used to it by then. It, uh... Like she said, using active magic to spice up fun was real popular at the time, so Cadance's love spell... when we were making out... Ahem. Anyway, so ironically enough I wasn't too strongly affected because I knew how to let it roll over me. I mean, I was a little curious why I was feeling Cadance's magic from a block away, and I was so happy just to be able to see her again after a week away... but, you know, I was able to keep my own head on straight a lot longer than everypony else."

"Kind of like me and Pascal's Normal magic!" Derpy excitedly pointed out. "After a while you get used to it, you adjust."

Shining leaned back and began to slowly nod to himself, looking between our two guests and smiling a little. "Yeah... It is kinda like that, I guess."

Shining's arrival caused a big cheer and everypony crowded around him in a big mob. I couldn't even get close, there were so many ponies. So many increasingly amorous ponies. I get an idea and shout out, "Alright, cake time!" And in the heat of the moment, everypony just sort of goes along with it. Our cake is brought out, 36 candles in total, and we blow them out. Then I'm all, "Okay, presents!" And we tear open all the presents as fast as possible – except for my secret present, which I'm saving for later.

"When I can get a word in," Shining added, "I whisper to her, 'What's the rush?' And she whispers back, 'Just trust me, we gotta get out of here.' I already knew something was odd, so I played along."

Then I say, "Picture time!" and the ponies around us take their hands off each other for a couple of minutes to pose for a photo. And once it's done, that's it, time to get out of there. Shining's parents are already starting to grind against each other on the dance floor. Before we go, however, I have to make sure that Twilight doesn't see anything that'll scar her for life. So I run over to her and say, "Hey, last I saw of Celestia, she was looking a little sick out in the garden. Can you go check on her?" And she's off in a cloud of dust before I'm even finished.

Shining and I say our goodbyes, with me coughing loudly and obviously but I just didn't care anymore. We hightail it out of there, lose the guards, and head up the trail to the summit. There's this beautiful overlook partway up the mountain with a gorgeous view of the valley and trees providing cover in the summertime. It was our secret spot.

When we get there, Shining asks, "What's the problem?"

And I spill everything. Every single detail about what happened, just like I'm telling you now. All the while, I'm freaking out because "I've ruined them! I've ruined everypony's lives!"

But no matter what I say, Shining reassures me, "We already know how this works; you didn't make anypony feel anything they weren't already feeling, you're fine."

Derpy looked over at Pascal with a grin. "Reminds me of when we first met." The human looked away and rolled his eyes a little, but the corner of his mouth curled upward all the same.

We end up talking about... so many things. For hours and hours and hours. The magic, what it means for my future, for our future...

Until eventually I realize: It's still our birthday, and I haven't given Shining my secret present. I pull the tiny box out from under my cleavage, my favorite hiding place, and hand it to him. You remember what it was?

"I sure do. It was my late grandfather's silver pocket watch. You had it restored, and you had them place a little picture of the two of us on the inside of the cover."

I thought it would be a perfect gift to remind you of us while you were pursuing your Royal Guard career and I was doubling down on Princess training. We would be far apart, but we would always be in each other's heart.

"We even sang a little song about that, didn't we?" Shining said with a laugh. "But I had a secret present for you, too."

We're laying there, looking up at the stars, when suddenly Shiny pulls out a little gift-wrapped box of his own and floats it over to me. I unwrap it and find a small ring-box. At first I'm a little worried – it is way too early to be doing any proposals, with our lives going in separate directions for a while, but I open it up... and inside are two plain rings with this colorful swirling pattern in the metal.

"There was a metallurgy course at the camp. I found these really pretty-looking rocks and shaped and purified them down into a couple of promise rings. She's right, it was too early to propose, but I figured... Well, we already knew we were going to be each other's special somepony, and that we were going to live in a crystal palace someday. And we were both frustrated with having to, y'know... wait for it. So I thought, if we exchange these promise rings, now that we'll both be 18... it doesn't matter what ponies think about what we do as a couple, because we'll have already made a 'vow' to each other."

While he's explaining all this, I look at the pocket watch. In all of our talking, we completely missed the passing of midnight more than ten minutes ago. It was Shining's real birthday. It was the date of Shining Armor's birth. And he was born close to midnight anyway. As far as anypony would ever be concerned, Shining was now 18 years old.

I pounced. Tore off his nice slacks. Sucked his fat cock halfway down my throat. No joke, I came right then, with both hands buried under my dress. I felt all the magic rush out of me in one big wave.

What I had wanted more than anything was to finally express my passion for Shining, and when I did... the enchantment was broken.

I watched the pink alicorn Princess close her eyes and place a hand on her cheek like she was recalling the most romantic memory. "Then we fucked for three hours straight," she said dreamily, her words contrasting her blushing-bride appearance. "Using contraceptive spells when necessary, of course, but mostly rough, deepthroat blowjobs. I swear I developed an oral fixation in minutes."

Next to her, Shining blushed a brilliant red and tried not to look too excited at the memory. There was a sound of shifting fabric beneath the table that made it seem like he was struggling to exert self-control on his endowment.

"And when you went back down, the spell was broken?" Derpy asked.

"Yes, though the damage was already done," Cadance replied. "I was no longer causing everypony to feel the full strength of whatever love they had, but we came back to a trashed ballroom and the cleaning staff murmuring about a lot of suspect stains on every surface. The next day, everypony chalked it up to spiked punch and moved on."

"How convenient," I grumbled under my breath, a little meaner than I meant to.

Cadance looked at me, frowned, and sighed. "I get it," she said. "It's really not the same magnitude as what you went through. I just wanted to show you that I went through something a little similar, and could sympathize."

"Wait," Derpy said, "that was before Luna's return from the moon, right? But you said she's the only other one who knows about all this."

"Ah, right." Cadance smiled sheepishly. "I... sort of had a brief relapse. After the wedding. On our wedding night. And instead of a one-block radius over two days, it kinda... covered the entire town for an hour. Luna tracked it down to us, and we told her everything. And she agreed to keep it secret, because, y'know, Celestia still wouldn't take it very well if she knew..."

Derpy blinked in surprise. "Celestia still doesn't know?"

Cadance pouted and magically lifted her teacup towards her lips. "I probably should, now that she has shared her big secret with us... But in the state she's in, I just don't think it'd be a good time..."

I stood up and took a step to the side from my chair. "I appreciate all this," I said to Cadance. "But... honestly, now I just kinda feel worse." I turned around and walked over to the railing of the balcony, staring down into the verdant valley. "You didn't control anyone. But I manipulated – and dare I say effectively – everyone I met as soon as I got the power. I used it to get sex. I used it to enhance myself. I used it to get things for free. For a lot of it, I didn't have to, I wasn't forced. You..." I sighed. "Your moral compass is a lot stronger than mine. That's the takeaway."

"No," Cadance said firmly. She tried to stand up, but the quilt covering her threatened to tumble away and reveal all of her enormous pink chest, so she sat back down and readjusted. "That's not what I was trying to say."

"Then what?" I asked, not looking back at the table.

She paused, taking a few moments to find her words. "I messed up," she said, "and that's not even the only time I messed up. But today I'm married to the love of my life, and I have a whole nation of crystal ponies to watch over. I'm living up to my full potential as the Princess of Love. What I'm trying to say is: No single mistake, no matter how big, prevents you from reaching greatness. You may think that what you've done is all you are, but that's not what I see. You have this great power, and you're already planning on using it to help ponies. You have so much room to grow, to rise. You have the potential to become legendary!"

I finally turned my head, and Princess Cadance was smiling.

"Pascal, what I'm really trying to say is: I believe in you. Everything else has just been 'why.'"

"Just like I believe in you," Derpy agreed, tearing up a little bit.

Shining seemed to come to an internal decision and nodded his head. "That's it, then," he mumbled as he stood up. "That's how I satisfy my cutie mark." Looking directly at me, Shining Armor said, "You're not a villain, not yet. Spending time with you, I can see that now. You really are the kind of guy that would sacrifice yourself for the pony who hated you the most. At this point... driving you away and treating you like a villain would do more harm to all of us than good. The way to protect my family, my nation, is to welcome you as a friend the best I can."

Cadance took a deep breath through her nostrils and nodded.

Me being the kind of guy I was, it didn't make me feel that much better. "And I have to keep manipulating ponies just to survive," I said, gesturing at the royal couple pathetically, my arm bouncing off my side. "Sure, if I could let go of my hangups about that, I could finally be happy with all this, but... Ugh."

Derpy stood up and walked over to me, putting her hands on my sides. "You have to let go of the endless guilt, Pasky. It's the only way to move forward, right?"

"But who's going to carry it for me?" I muttered. "So I don't do this again?"

"You don't need guilt to grow. It only holds you back," Cadance advised.

Feeling a surge of anger, I glared at her. "You kissed Celestia. I had an all-night force-fuck-fest with her."

Cadance let out a sigh. "I know. Your problems are unique to you. Only you can give yourself the kind of absolution you seek."

"Do I deserve it, though?"

"I believe in you," Derpy said, hugging me tightly from behind.

"I believe in you," Cadance echoed from the table.

"At this point," Shining added casually, "being all mopey isn't really helping anyone, is it?"

My hands gripped the railing tighter. And while I grappled with the conflict between my own feelings and the well-wishes of the semi-controlled ponies around me, the words from Princess Luna's letter blazed through my mind again. I inhaled through my nose until my lungs felt fit to burst... and then something gave way in my chest, emotionally, and I let out all the air in my body.

At the very least, I owed the ponies around me some gratitude. I turned around, hugged Derpy briefly, and then made a small bow towards the tea table. "Thanks for having us, Cadance. Thanks for the... story."

"Anytime," Cadance said, looking at me with a mix of disappointment and hopefulness. "And just so you know, you're welcome to visit the Crystal Empire whenever you like."

Placing his hands on his hips, Shining said, "Yeah... Now that I'm thinking about it, there are some good uses for a guy who can go anywhere and say anything... It's like having a nice changeling on our side."

I chuckled darkly. "So this was all about diplomacy, huh?"

Cadance tried to mask a little embarrassment. "Partially. But, in my book, there's no reason that making an ally and making a friend can't go hand in hand."

I'd just about had enough. I needed some time to think. "Appreciate it." Looking to Derpy, I said, "Shall we?"

She frowned sadly at that; she'd been enjoying this little meetup much more than I had. But she noticed the look on my face and nodded. "We might as well..." To Shining and Cadance, she added, "Thanks for the tea and muffins!"

We headed out through the bedroom and into the palace hallway. I let out another breath I'd been somehow holding in. Even when dealing with perhaps the 'nicest' Princess, it was still a pretty intense experience. I rubbed my temples as we meandered down the hall, muttering under my breath.

"I think that went really well," Derpy pointed out.

I had to hand it to her. "Yeah! Very well. Shining Armor and Cadance are in our camp now. All we had to do was sit there and listen for most of an hour."

"Cadance already was on our side, so I guess the important one was Shining Armor."

"And I have no doubt in my mind that my power helped push him to that 'Gotta make friends to protect my loved ones' rationale."

Derpy put a hand on my shoulder as we walked along. "I think, just this once, we can let a little leap of logic slide. What's important is that he's willing to give you a chance in a way that makes sense to him. And Cadance helped him get there, if you didn't notice."

"I noticed, I noticed..."

"And hey, the Elements of Harmony all made their peace with you last night. Princesses Celestia and Luna are on your side. You've got Trixie, Moondancer, Spitfire, Lyra, Bon Bon... You're even on decent terms with Discord, you said. What do you have left to be afraid of?"

I came to an abrupt stop. Ever since Cadance had finished telling her story, it had felt like there was a knot forming in my stomach and I didn't know why. Now I knew what the feeling was: Fear.

Fear of dying. Fear of starvation. Fear of persecution. Fear of authority. Fear of being alone. Fear of losing control. Fear of failure. Fear of...

Fear of what Twilight would think. It all came back to Twilight. And here she was again, the one pony left judging and punishing me. I looked back at the donkey tail swinging between my legs. It had felt like an almost natural attachment while I was listening to the story, but there it still was, a reminder of Twilight's petty sass.

"Uh, hello? Equestria to Pascal?" Derpy called to me. She waved her hand in front of my face. I must have zoned out for a second there.

I rubbed my eyes and groaned. "Twilight Sparkle." The knot in my stomach twisted tighter. "I have some... choice words for her I've been holding back for a while now," I realized aloud.

Derpy's face fell. "Oh... That sounds like it would get loud..."

"Probably, yeah." I took another deep breath to calm myself and tried to shake my shoulders loose. "But that can wait. Until the next time I see her, at least. She's working on something important for us, and right now I need to decompress."

Nodding, Derpy swayed her hips back and forth and said, "Maybe you can tell me about it back at our room? And then maybe we can... give each other massages?"

I blinked. "Really? Do you know how to give a massage?"

"Ummm... no. Do you?"

"Heh. Not one bit. Let's do it anyway."