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Softness Beneath the Surface

by PonyThunder

Chapter 1: Softness Beneath the Surface


Softness Beneath the Surface

Raindrops pattered gently against the windowsill of the upper-floor window of Fluttershy's cottage. The glass was cold and foggy, and a representation of how the weather was outside. The rain from overcast skies high above filled the air with a cold softness as ponies traveled to and fro amidst the countryside town of Ponyville, seemingly undeterred from the dreary weather as they sported raincoats and umbrellas. Fluttershy, however, lay beneath a mound of pillows and blankets in her attic bedroom. It was far past the time she usually got out of bed, but due to events that had transpired the day before, she was finding every conceivable reason not to move from her comfy, cozy spot.

It's too wet outside. My mane will look dreadful.

I can buy carrots tomorrow.

I can't show my face after what happened yesterday...

She closed her eyes and let out a small whimper, draping the heavy comforter further on body and over her face. She stayed within the warmth and comfort of the small area enclosed over her face until the lack of fresh air became too bothersome. She wanted nothing more than to curl up inside her cocoon of blankets for the rest of eternity, but the vivid memories of what happened yesterday resurfaced without cease. She tried to ignore them, but they just kept returning until she couldn't stop replaying the events that transpired over and over again. To any other pony, it would have been something they could easily brush off from. But to her, for no real reason other than that she felt immensely embarrassed, such a task was not easy.

It's not like she hadn't gotten past troublesome experiences before, though. Memories of flying with hundreds of other pegasi to generate enough wingpower to lift the water to Cloudsdale resurfaced in her mind. That was the time she had gotten past her fear of being judged on her flying abilities. Then there was the time she sang for Rarity and the Pony Tones. She didn't necessarily get over her stage fright, but she did realize that if she tried hard enough, she could do things she couldn't normally do. But this time, things were different. She'd done something embarrassing and felt like she couldn't show her face in public for a while.

Raindrops continued to pitter-patter against the window for several seconds as Fluttershy remained in her bed, but it wasn't long until she heard the gentle knocking of hooves against her front door.

"Hello?" Pinkie Pie's muffled voice sounded from outside on the ground below. "Fluttershy, are you still home?"

Still home. Somehow, knowing that everypony knew she had shut herself in just made everything worse. Of course, her friends had already come by to console and visit her the day prior. And it helped of course, as it always did, but sometimes the only resolution towards these kinds of things was time and rest.  Just lay and wait, hide and avoid. That was the tried and true way she knew best how to deal with her insecurities. She lay absentmindedly for several more moments, almost forgetting that Pinkie Pie had asked if she was home before responding to her inquiry.

"Come in, I'm upstairs," Fluttershy replied shakily, her voice having not been used for awhile.

She heard the front door open and close softly as Pinkie entered the cottage and made her way up the steps. But before she arrived, Fluttereshy noticed something different about the way Pinkie was acting. Her voice wasn't overly energetic, the door was softly shut instead of slammed, and she had taken her time to ascend the stairs to the attic. Something was different about Pinkie Pie today, but when she arrived at the top of the stairs, the same vibrant pink pony with bouncy, curly hair stood smiling.

Fluttershy half expected Pinkie Pie to zip over to the side of the bed and give her a strangling hug, but instead she walked calmly over and sat on the bedside above the covers next to her. The sounds of raindrops permeated the air for several moments before she broke the silence with her voice.

She looked at the foggy window and spoke. "This kind of weather reminds me of home," said Pinkie Pie. "Me and my sisters would always go outside and play in the rain puddles. Well, Marble and Limestone anyways. Maud would stay inside and play with her rocks."

Fluttershy didn't have anything to say, so she awkwardly readjusted herself beneath the covers due to Pinkie's proximity.

"Me and Marble always liked to pretend that the ponies on the other side of the puddles were real, too. And that everything in their world was backwards and upside down. Rain falling up, clouds falling down...that sort of thing," Pinkie paused and a small smile appeared on her face. "Limestone would try to splash us."

Fluttershy found herself becoming engrossed into Pinkie Pie's seemingly random story. Wasn't she here to tell her that she was supposed to be okay? To console her about the horrifically embarrassing thing she did? She almost felt like bringing it up herself just to spare herself from the anxious buildup, but before she could say anything, Pinkie Pie continued her ramblings.

"Those were the good memories, at least," Pinkie Pie sighed.

Fluttershy couldn't tell if it was out of content or sadness.

"It always felt like something was missing," she continued. "We all got along well enough. Well, for a family of rock farmers at least. But there just wasn't any...closeness."

She wasn't sure how to process what she meant by that. "What do you mean? Aren't you and your sisters close?"

At this point, she was still covered in pillows and blankets while the pink mare beside her sat atop her blanket, pinching it between her and the mattress. Fluttershy maneuvered a little bit out from beneath the covers to get more comfortable as Pinkie Pie answered her.

"Well, yeah..." her voice trailed, "but only in some ways."

"What kind of ways weren't you close?"

"Well...physically," Pinkie replied flatly. "Being the children of cold, stoic rock farmers for parents, that isn't so surprising isn't it."

"I suppose not," Fluttershy replied.

"I was always the odd pony out," Pinkie continued. "The one who wanted to hug goodbye and hello, to wrestle on the floor, to snuggle together and listen to dad's stories..."

She could see now why Pinkie Pie was sharing these personal details with her, but it was her delivery and lack of her usual energetic and bubbling personality that still perplexed her. Of course, Pinkie knew that Fluttershy didn't always appreciate the overbearing nature her personality sometimes expressed, but even then she wasn't perfect at keeping things calm and relaxed.Today, she seemed like a completely different pony.

This time, Fluttershy continued the conversation. The words escaped her mouth before she even thought twice about saying them because she was growing so increasingly curious. "Is that why you're so...affectionate?"

Fluttershy put a hoof to her own mouth out of embarrassment. Then she wondered why. The question wasn't rude or hurtful in the slightest, but rather an innocent curiosity.

"Yeah," Pinkie Pie replied, "I think so, at least. I never really thought about it." Pinkie Pie shifted her weight on the bed and laid down on top of the comforter next to Fluttershy, her hooves wrapped tightly atop it. "I guess...being without closeness to somepony for so long kind of made me want it even more. And it never really went away, either."

"That's not a bad thing," Fluttershy consoled her softly. Suddenly, she was playing the role Pinkie was.

Pinkie smiled and turned sideways on the bed towards her. She appeared to be in thought for several seconds, as if trying to think of the most appropriate way to articulate the next thing she had to say. Her smile disappeared and her face returned to normal. "Then why do you feel so bad about what happened yesterday?"

Now the conversation had been steered towards its inevitable destination. The unavoidable memory and feelings of embarrassment now resurfaced in her mind, just as they had been before. "Well, I..."

Pinkie stopped her with a gentle hoof against her mouth. She hadn't noticed so much until this point, but Pinkie Pie seemed to be moving closer towards her as the conversation drifted by. There wasn't any aura of romantic intentions, at least not any she was picking up on, but simply an aura of friendly closeness and comfort.

"You know," said Pinkie, "you and I are actually a lot alike." She gently brushed a hoof through Fluttershy's mane.

To Fluttershy, the gentle stroke through her mane felt quite nice. At the same time, however, it left her stunned and confused. Not because it was happening, as it was Pinkie Pie, but because of how it made her feel. It wasn't anything more than some gentle affection, yet it was completely rendering her ability to think impossible.

"If you don't want to talk about it, I can just stay for a bit more and leave you alone," said Pinkie Pie.

Fluttershy considered the offer for a moment, but decided that she felt ready to put those embarrassing thoughts out into the open with her close friend. "Well...okay," her voice began softly. "I'm sure everypony already knows about it, but...I was out yesterday buying some food and supplies. I was getting lettuce and carrots for Angel and some things for around the house."

Pinkie Pie lay atop the bed with hooves crossed.

"I walked by a clothing store and saw a dress that looked nice, so I walked in..."

Pinkie Pie put her hooves beneath her chin and smiled with intrigue.

"So...I went inside and browsed around a little bit and saw some ponyquins...and...one of them was wearing a really soft-looking fabric. So I, um...went up to it and...stood next to it. To feel it...against my side."

Fluttershy felt a surge of embarrassment well up inside, but Pinkie Pie's gaze and face didn't change in the slightest, still waiting for the end of her story.

"Then somepony saw me, and I ran away..."

Fluttershy awaited to her something akin to That's it? or Is that all? but Pinkie Pie gave her no such response. In fact, she didn't give a vocal response at all. Instead, she curled up next to her side, allowing the warmth of her body to radiate outwards onto her. Her actions spoke louder than any response anypony could have given to such a small, seemingly insignificant story. The rhythmic motions of Pinkie's peaceful breathing calmed her mind as she recovered from the anxiety that simply retelling her story gave her. After giving it some actual thought, she began to realize just how ridiculous it was to be ashamed at all. In the moment, it felt like the entire world was watching and judging her for the brief lapse in control she had the day prior. In that moment, she felt ashamed for simply desiring something that was just completely natural. It was normal for a pony to desire affection and closeness, yet, she felt as if it was something she couldn't have due to her overly reserved nature. It was no wonder she loved animals so much, as they were always open to be showered with cuddles and affection, as well as to return the favor. But they could only provide so much.

Beyond that, things felt so much more complex when they didn't have to be. There was an underlying reason why she felt compelled to do what she did, and that reason was because she had been denying something that she had needed for a long time: affection. It was something that directly contrasted with her reserved and introverted nature. Being affectionate was something that extroverted ponies did, at least in her mind. Extroverted ponies like Pinkie.

Except what was currently happening wasn't extroverted in the slightest. In fact, Fluttershy had never seen this side of Pinkie Pie before. The side that was calm and peaceful, soft and warm, kind and caring in a way that wasn't overbearing. She opened her mouth to speak, but all that came out was a small squeak when Pinkie nestled herself further into the area next to her side. At this point, she was settled quite snugly against Fluttershy, and breathed gently with her eyes closed and snout buried into her side. She was however causing some discomfort by laying on top of her retracted wing, so she extended it out beneath Pinkie and curled it back over her. As she did, the pink mare seemed to sigh deeply in response and bury herself even further.

This was what Fluttershy needed. And so did Pinkie, except the difference between them was that she wasn't afraid to go out and get it.  But she was right when she said they had a lot of things in common. Both of them had more of a desire for closeness and affection than normal ponies, but Fluttershy had always been too shy and too careful to ever experience anything more than the usual friendly hug that lasted for at most a few seconds.

But today on this dreary, rainy morning, she had everything she never knew she needed. Pinkie Pie climbed up and over Fluttershy, who was still semi-snugly wrapped up in her cocoon of blankets and pillows. As the raindrops continued to fall against the windowsill, she drifted effortlessly to sleep as Pinkie Pie snuggled closer.

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