Laying on his back in his bunk, Tarnished Teapot stared up at the ceiling and thought of Maud’s weird motherhood musings. There could be no doubt, Maud was a weird pony, that was the reason why he loved her, and right now, he was missing her so much that it hurt. But Maud certainly had some weird, weird thoughts, ideas, and opinions on motherhood.

Pebble is the only other pony besides you that has been inside of my vagina. Not only has she been inside of it, she came squirting out of it. I shared my vagina with another equine, an equine that wasn’t you, and it was weird. It was a big stretch for me just to share my vagina with you, Tarnish, I mean, that was almost too weird for words, and I never thought about the consequences of my actions until Pebble was half-in and half-out of me. Life means sharing your vagina with others. It’s just all too weird for words.

In the middle of this deep, soul searching conversation, Marble had fainted and Limestone had almost thrown up. Cloudy and Igneous hadn’t dealt with the conversation much better, but to be fair, Igneous had asked Maud if there was anything she wanted to talk about during dinner.

Tarnish was too big for his bunk as it was made for a standard stock ‘little pony.’ Everywhere he went, he was asked if he was part llama, alpaca, or giraffe. Having met a few giraffes, Tarnish could understand why ponies might ask him that, but his neck wasn’t long enough. Rolling over onto his side, his thoughts lingered on Maud and the fact that he had trouble fitting into his bunk.

Even laying on his side, his bunk wasn’t wide enough, and his legs would have hung off of the edge of the mattress if he didn’t have them folded in. He grunted from frustration and missed The Egg. The bed in there was just long enough for him to stretch out a bit. The crick in his neck could no longer be ignored and he rolled over again, this time onto his back once more.

Pebble is so wonderful. I think she likes my rock poetry. I read to her while she nurses. Motherhood isn’t what I expected at all. I wasn’t certain if I was ready, I had my doubts just before I foaled, but after just one day with Pebble, I can’t imagine my life without her.

Tarnish’s ears twitched and ached with the need to hear Maud’s voice. Thrashing about, he rolled over once more, this time towards the wall, and he banged a few of his knees. It felt like he was sleeping in a breadbox. Or, in this case, failing to sleep in a breadbox. It wasn’t just his bunk, either, but his cabin. He couldn’t even stand up straight in his cabin, not without banging his head.

Oh, these cabins were fine for Daring Do, Rainbow Dash, or Vinyl Scratch. But for Tarnish, who forced Princess Celestia to maintain perfect posture just so she could angle her head down at him, the cabin was far too cramped. His bunk was maybe a yard wide at most and there was about two feet of space between his bunk and the far wall. The door was narrow and the ceiling was low.

Getting out of the bunk was even worse, as it meant spilling himself out onto the floor and trying to unfold his legs in the two or so feet of space between the bunk and the wall. Sitting up in bed was out of the question, as that would cause a concussion, no doubt.

Tossing and turning, there would be no sleep for Tarnished Teapot.

Author's Notes:

We're going back to Weed style chapters. Some of them will be long. Others will be short, like this one. This one is perfect for what it is and stretching it out to 2k words would just be pointless. Enjoy! And tell me what you think...