Rainbow Dash raced toward Ponyville as fast as she could, her rainbow mane flapping freely in the wind. She needed somepony to help her. But who would help a pony that had a bomb strapped on their chest? She fearfully looked down at the exposed bomb, the jacket flapping underneath her.

11:57:46.

"What the fuck is happening??" she screamed in her mind, gritting her teeth. What had the pegasus suggested? Robbing a bank? But that was insane! She would get arrested and sent to prison, if not killed!

"Darling, why are you wearing such an atrocious outfit?"

Rainbow halted in midair and looked down. There stood Rarity, looking up at her. She looked as if she wanted to rip the coat off of her and burn it. Rainbow wondered if Rarity could help her in this situation, but quickly decided that it was highly unlikely for a fashionista to be able to embezzle a million bits. She quickly zipped up the jacket, hiding the bomb from view. "Oh, um..." she stammered, desperately looking for a plausible answer. "I'm... I'm just practicing for the Wonderbolts!" she said, giving her friend an awkward smile. She regretted saying that as soon as the words came out of her mouth.

Rarity looked at her friend skeptically and frowned. "In that jacket?"

"Yeah! I... uh... have a cold." Rainbow faked a sneeze, but she cringed at how fake it sounded. When she saw Rarity's still-disbelieving face, she decided that it was best for her to leave. She sped away, leaving the unicorn utterly bemused.

"Oh Celestia, who the hell can help me right now?" Rainbow flew high over Ponyville, scanning its residents.

"All you have to do is take a cup of flour, add it to the mix!

"Now just take a little-"

"PINKIE PIE!"

Pinkie spun around, dropping the platter of to-be cupcakes, at the voice of her guest. A cyan pony barraged through the doorway of Sugarcube Corner, which had been closed for the day. She recognized the familiar pony immediately, but her mane was matted with sweat and she looked extremely agitated. She also wore a hideous dark-green jacket that didn't match the pony's color at all. Pinkie wanted to point this out, but that would have been rude. Instead, she greeted the visitor warmly.

"Dashie! How good to see you! Where were you yesterday? I came out looking for you but I couldn't find you so I organized a whole search party around Ponyville but nopony could find you and Twilight became worried so she wondered whether she should write a letter to Celestia but I told her that she shouldn't because you were probably- "

"PINKIE!"

Pinkie stopped talking and batted her eyelids innocently. "Yes, Rainbow Dash?"

Rainbow took a deep breath. She briefly rethought about telling Pinkie about the problem, but a barely audible tick from the bomb eliminated any of her doubts instantly. "Yesterday, two stallions ponynapped me and strapped a bomb to my chest and now I have less than twelve hours to get a million bits."

Pinkie blinked, stunned. For a few seconds, only silence lingered in the sweetshop. Then she suddenly threw her head back and started laughing hysterically as Rainbow stared, aghast. "That's a good one, Dashie! You really got me there! Oh, I can't wait to tell the others-" Rainbow zipped open the jacket, revealing the intricately designed bomb.

Pinkie, unfazed, bounced toward her friend. "Ooh, what is this?" She extended a hoof to touch the ticking object, but Rainbow pulled away quickly.

"No! Don't - don't touch it!"

At this, Pinkie's eyes widened as she realized the gravity of the situation. Her grin faded. She jumped back behind a table. "What... is that thing real??"

Rainbow nodded frantically as she zipped up the coat as quickly as she opened it. "Two stallions did this to me, and I only have twelve more hours till this thing's gonna blow."

Pinkie's eyes flared. She rose from behind the table and walked toward Rainbow assertively. She stared directly into her friend's eyes and fiercely said, "And your first thought was to come to a bakery filled with delicious treats?"

Rainbow stared at her normally hyperactive friend in a mixture of confusion and rage. "Are you serious..." she managed to choke out, attempting to exclude profanity when she talked to Pinkie.

"These treats are my creations! They're like my foals! Really, really tasty foals!"

Rainbow looked at the pink pony, stunned. She shook her head. "Whatever. Anyway, I need to get a million bits in twelve hours! The stallion suggested that I rob a bank, but I can't do it alone. C-can you please help me?"

Pinkie continued to look at Rainbow as if she was a detective trying to determine if a suspect was lying or telling the truth. Finally, she sighed. "Okay, Dashie. It's obviously not right to rob a bank, but I don't wanna see your body get shredded up into pieces," - Rainbow cringed at this thought - "because that'd probably get stuck in my subconscious. Who knows? I might be having a party one night and then suddenly think, 'Oh, I shouldn't have let Dashie explode...'"

"That's a very nice way to think about this situation," said Rainbow Dash nervously. "And thanks for the help. I really owe you one for this."

"Then can you do me a favor?"

"Sure, what?"

"Can you keep at least a thousand hooves away from my cupcakes and muffins while you have that thing on?"

"Okay, so it says here on that bombs are 'explosive weapons that only rely on the exothermic reaction of an explosive material to provide an extremely sudden and violent release of energy.'"

"Thanks, Twilight, that really h-helps us right now." said Rainbow Dash sarcastically and nervously, looking around the library every couple of seconds. They had decided to visit Twilight for any information on getting rid of the bomb on Rainbow's chest even though they couldn't reveal that a lethal explosive was attached to her. Pinkie swore to keep this entire event a Pinkie Pie secret, assuming that they both survived the ordeal. Besides, Rainbow couldn't risk dragging another close friend into such a distressful situation. Having Pinkie in this was risky enough.

Recognizing the sarcasm, Twilight frowned. "Well, it doesn't say anything about disabling them! Why do you need that information, anyway?"

Rainbow and Pinkie answered at the same time. "Nothing."

Twilight looked at them questioningly but didn't say anything. She closed the enormous encyclopedia and floated it back to where it belonged with ease. "Sorry, girls. It doesn't say anything useful about... bombs."

Rainbow Dash sighed, panicking even more. "Okay. Well, thanks for trying." She dashed out of the library with Pinkie in hot pursuit.

Twilight rolled her eyes as she walked toward her room. "These ponies are crazy. Crazy!"

10:47:37.

Rainbow groaned as she paced back and forth the bakery's floor. Usually, she would have thought that ten hours would have been a lot of time, enough to take three refreshing naps. But for today, time seemed to have sped up. Every minute passed seemed like a second. She couldn't take it anymore. The pressure inside of her had built up so much that she felt truculent and paranoid. She wanted to kick something - or somepony - with all of her might. A tap on the shoulder dematerialized her state of intense concentration.

"What?!" she screamed vehemently. Pinkie reared back in fright. Her friend's yell sounded too reminiscent of Gilda's. Her mind flashed back to when the mean griffin screamed at Fluttershy, sending her crying and running away.

Pinkie's eyes began to water. Rainbow's aggravated temper promptly cooled down. "I - I'm sorry. It's just the pressure. It's getting to me." The cyan pony looked down at the ground apologetically. After a moment, the blue mare looked back up. "What - what was it that you were trying to tell me?"

Pinkie looked her friend calmly. "Oh, I was going to tell you to calm down..."

"What do I do, Pinkie? What do I do?"

"I dunno, Dashie. I guess that you should just rob the bank. Like the pegasus told you to."

Rainbow shakily walked over to a nearby couch. She collapsed onto it, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Hey, hey... You're going to be okay."

"No! No, I'm not! I'm I'm gonna blow up!"

The pink mare couldn't just sympathize as her best friend wept pitifully. She grit her teeth and her eyes narrowed in determination. A blast of colorful confetti paper accompanied by a loud, cacophonous streamer noise startled Rainbow. Her head jolted up in surprise. "What the..."

"Come on, Dashie! Get yourself together! You're the fastest flier in Equestria! All you need to do is break in with a new coat of paint and some real-looking weapons and you'll scare the ponies in the bank so much that they won't hesitate to get you the money! It'll be easy! And you can use the bomb to threaten them, too!"

Rainbow nodded slowly in agreement. "Yeah, I guess it couldn't be too hard... And it's only the Ponyville Bank. Its security isn't too complicated."

"Exactly! It's gonna be a breeze. Just get in there and get the money." she patted Rainbow on the shoulder.

"Wait, me? You're not going with me?"

"Well... no... My cupcakes need me!"

"C'mon, Pinkie, please! Please, please, please, please!" Dash had never begged this hard in her entire life. She wasn't exactly the type of pony to consult help when she needed it, and she slightly felt like she was Rarity. "I need you on this. I'll be a dead pony. Please."

Pinkie peered into her best friend's pink eyes. She knew that Rainbow needed her help, but it would risk her own life. "All right, Dashie."

Rainbow Dash sighed in relief. "You're the best friend ever, Pinkie. I really mean it."

"But let me ask you one thing." Rainbow nodded in frenzied agreement. "Do you think cupcakes are better than muffins?"

Momentarily startled at the sudden, unrelated question, Rainbow gave a faint smile. "Pinkie Pie, you are so random."

"You still didn't answer my question..."