Grandpa and Grandma. Those were the names my mom and dad told me when I asked who we were going to see. They placed me in my booster seat and strapped me in, and we drove off. “Who’s Grandma and Grandpa?” I asked.

“They’re your father’s mom and dad.” My mom answered.

“Oh. Why’s the car different again?” The car was big, and blue last night, and when we were getting in it, it shrunk and turned grey. Why did it change color and shape every week?

“Oh, well… I just borrow cars son. I return them after a while and borrow a new one.” Dad answered.

“Oh.” The car ride was long. The sun and moon took turns in the sky a few times, and a bunch of trees became a desert after the sun and moon switched turns four times.

We stopped at what looked like a home, but all kinds of other cars were here and the air smelled like food. “Zeke, sweetie, daddy and I are gonna go… shopping. Is there anything you’d like?”

“Uh… like what?”

“Food or toys?” Dad clarified.

“Oh, umm… Do they have waffles, I can smell waffles.”

“That should be easy enough,” Mom said. “Anything else?”

“A toy. It’s boring just looking out the window all the time.”

“Great, we’ll be back soon. And remember, if the noisy blue people come by, what do you do?”

“Cry to distract them?”

“No, honey, when you’re in the car. That’s for when you’re outside with us.”

“Oh, uhh… run and hide?”

“Yes. Good job sweetie.” Mom congratulated me.

“Marry, we better hurry.” Dad told mom.

“Alright Berry. Just stay in the car right now Zeke, we’ll be back as soon as possible.” Mom said as she and dad put on their heavy shirts and face covers. They got out of the cars, carrying those noise sticks they often use when going out.

Loud noises and screaming echoed from the not-home. Every time mom and dad go out with those things people scream and run away. They usually leave me at home, with a sitter, but they told me we were gonna need to move, and stay with grandma and grandpa til we found a new home. Every movie and t.v show I’ve seen usually shows moving with a big truck, but all mom and dad took were noise sticks, some snack foods, clothes, and those big bags of green paper.

Dad told me that the green paper ruled the world, and the ones with the most are supposed to live like kings, but we couldn’t because people didn’t like us. I asked him why once and he just said our family has been hated since someone called Ivan lived in some place called… Rushe I think? Dad says he’s from that Ivan guy and mom was from some place in… Germany, yeah, I remember cause it sounds like germ and many put together. Her family ruled with some guy that made funny X’s popular.

Mom and dad said my family is from all over the world. “Like minded people having more like minded people” they’d say it was. I didn’t know what that was about, I just wanted to meet other kids my age.

Mom and dad came back with two large bags of stuff and they both were holding plates of food. “Here you go sweet heart, a plate of waffles and eggs.” Mom said as she placed them on my lap. “Hold onto that tight cause Daddy and I have to drive fast to… make up for lost time.”

Mom and dad drove off fast. I went through the bags after finishing my food and it was mostly the usual mom and dad brought home. Green paper, purses, wallets, jewelry, shiny things, and other similar stuff. “The other bag has something for you son.” Dad said, looking at me from the mirror on the car roof.

I opened the other bag and searched through it. I found what dad was talking about, it was a Gameboy Advance. I turned it on and the game loaded. I saw Disney pop up and it was soon followed by the game title. Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories. I started a new game, and soon became hooked.

It’s been eight years since I played Kingdom Hearts, and it’s the only game other than Resident Evil or Fallout I really care about. I had most of the games by now, but lost one or to every time Mom and Dad had us move houses to hide from the cops. Most teenagers find car trips boring with their parents. Mine take car trips while driving over seventy miles in high speed cop chases. To me this is normal.

“Zeke, can you reload your father’s guns while he shoots at the officer's?” Mom said as she took pop-shots at the cop car next to her, shooting both officers dead and causing their car to crash.

“Sure.” I said as I took one of the empty Anti-material rifle clips and started putting bullets back in.

“How come you don’t join in the shooting Zeke? You’re as good as me in the practice course.” Dad said as he fired an explosive shell as the cops, blowing up one car and causing the others to crash.

“Just don’t feel the need. You two clearly did well before I was here, so I’ll just stick to loading the magazines.”

“Don’t be like that Zeke, you’re a Ventral, the largest criminal family, by blood, on earth. Murder is in your blood.”

“I know, you always say to take pride in the bloodshed our family has caused.”

“They say blood stains don’t wash off, so I say wear it proudly!” Mom said. “Hun, they're retreating. I think they’re calling in either a helicopter or a massive road block.”

“Zeke, hand me over the grenade launcher.” Dad asked as I handed over the China Lake. “What type of grenade?”

“Cousin Jeff’s homemade drained plutonium ones.”

“Perfect.” After a few minutes of driving, the roadblock, having tanks and a wall of armed soldiers, appeared in the distance. “Hope you like radiation!” Dad yelled as he fired. The explosion turned over the tanks and anyone who wasn’t dead or dying was crawling in pain. “Can always count of Jeff to make the right weapon for anything. So where are we going again?”

“We’re meeting with my sister Nancy to escort us to Japan while she delivers slaves to some whore house.” Mom said.

“Right. Chicago docs, right?”

“Where else?”

“So Zeke, anything you wanna do while in Japan?”

“... I think the final mix in Japan of Kingdom Hearts two has a secret boss that’s exclusive to that country.” I said.

“That all you want?”

“Maybe eat some sushi or something.”

“Tell ya what, we can get some sight seeing in after we help Nancy with those slaves.”

“Sure.” Name anyone, ANYONE, who has conversations with their parents like this. Anyone listening in, which has happened, would be repulsed by the topics. This has been normal for me since I was seven, when Mom and Dad had me help with robberies… I never pull the triggers, and when I do it’s next to the guy’s ears. My parents say I’m just not in the ‘killing mood’ yet, but I just have no interest in bloodshed like they do. Murder, drugs, slavery, you name something illegal or just plain evil, my family has someone who’s done it and then some.

For once I’d just like to live in a house for more than a week before the neighbors notice the normal residents are missing, or sleep anywhere other than the back of a car for a month! It’s a miracle I got an education of any kind. Guess the internet can teach as good as a school. I find myself watching Disney, or family movies most often, they’re the only normal I get in my life. Kingdom Hearts is the only place I can live my dream…

In my family, there are two types of people, Doers, and Makers. Doers are the ones who commit murders, steal from government bases, etc, Makers, well, make what keeps the family in money. Be it drugs, weapons, shady deals, or whatever, they keep the family in money that could rival Opera. The life of a criminal family is a rich life if you know what to do, and my family has been mastering it for generations.

I looked through the records and every family member that went against the rest, ratted us out or tried to ‘retire’ was killed by the leader of the family at the time. Last time that happened was back in 1907, when my great, great, uncle Tyler was thrown from the top of the Eiffel tower for informing local authorities about some counterfeiting operation.

My family only accepts nothing less than help in keeping us stable money wise, or work in the field. Many have called us,The Demons of Earth, and they’d be pretty right about that.

We arrived at the docs and met up with aunt Nancy. “Good to see you again Zeke. You must have grown at least a foot since I last saw you.” She said.

“You last saw me when I was six aunt Nancy.”

“Nevertheless, I have a gift for you.” She walked over to a create and pulled out a sheathed Katana. “Your brother was working with my son on a job to rob a noble house, he figured you’d like this. It’s dated to be over a thousand years old and when the owner came in on them your brother used this same sword to slice his guts out. Made it look like a murder-suicide then burned the place down.”

I took the Katana. “Thanks. I’ll be sure to let him know I got it next time I see him.” This is going with all the other stuff my brother used to kill people with then gave to me. Oddest thing he gave me that he killed someone with was a silver hammer that was once owned by the top selling Home Depot in America.

“You should go on some jobs with your brother while you're in the country. Might jump start the ‘Killing Mood’ in you.”

What’s your most fond moment at a family reunion? The barbeque? Crappy talks about everyone's daily life nobody really cares about? Or the dog fights?

That’s what most of my family look forward to when we have a family reunion. The meat of the dog that lost the last fight roasting on the grills, music that is more profanity than anything really, and enough drugs to make an addict out of a small city. Typically I just play the knife throws, which the targets are thankfully wood with a painted bullseye, and sharp shooting. I usually feel kinda bad about that one since the targets are either people other members of the family have killed, or stolen medical cadavers.

“Attention all heathens!” Uncle Josh, the current leader of the family, spoke over the speakers. “We’ve had a record year yet again! Reward for highest number of people killed goes to Berry! A grand total of three hundred and sixty five, that’s one for every day of the year and it’s not even summer yet! Reward for most new weapon designed and build goes to, Kimberly! That automatic grenade launcher she made really showed the russian mafia we are something to fear. And lastly, the reward for most stolen goods goes to, Ashlin! Robbing a grand total of 10.9 trillion in gold from Swiss banks, and don’t worry, none of those accounts were family members.

“Also to note, the cops are on their way so anyone not staying for the after party shootout, please ball up and grab a gun.”

That’s my que. I started heading for the back door, when my brother fell on me. “Damn it Kevin.”

“Heeeeeeyyyy Little bro. I, I haven't seen you since the last reunion.” He smelled like a brewery.

“Surprised you remember that, you were drunk, and high that year.” I tossed him off and got up. “So what? No twenty hooker orgy?”

“Nah! I, I mixed all the, all the beer into one, and, and I’m feeling good right now.”

“You get the blueprints I sent you?”

“Huh? Oh, right! Yeah, Yeah… I uh, I put them, I gave them to Josh. Hey man, you, you need to do more than just get the blueprints of banks and rich people houses man. You, you need to make a weapon designed or at least kill a guy.”

“As long as I contribute something everyone will stay off me about not helping the family out. Besides, I gave Ashlin the blueprints and guard schedules to every bank she robbed. So I did something, right?”

“Yeah, I mean. I just worry. You’re the only one to not kill. I, I think Josh is getting, getting mad or something. Our parents are the best at what they do, you, you heard dad win the most killed award, right? He expects from us.”

“So, I’m not an assassin like dad, or a master scammer like mom. Every pack of dogs has a runt.”

“Yeah, but this pack is, it, runts don’t last.” He pointed over to the barbeque dogs. “You need to step up, otherwise, J, Josh is gonna say something.”

I sighed. “I’ll think about it. Now, go get drunk and laid like you know how.”

Kevin smiled. “You know it baby bra!” He fell over. “Nap first.”

I could hear the police sirens getting louder, and rushed it to my car. No sooner that I got in, I was gagged and hit over the head. Everything went black.

Everything was… hazy when I woke up… Great. Did cousin Henry and Susan get together and kidnap me again. “R, Real mature guys.” I said. As my vision cleared I noticed that my shirt was gone and my chest was burning. “Agh! What the hell guys?” I asked as I stood up. The pain only felt worse. “Wha what drug did you use on me?”

“New brand of morphine and some instant coma.”

That… voice… “Uncle Josh?” I looked around and eventually saw him walk out of the dark part of the room. The whole room was dark, save for one bad light bulb hanging over me.

“Sup Nephew.” He said as he handed me my shirt. “Sleep well?”

“As well as a medicated coma can let me. Why does my chest hurt?”

“Branding pain usually wears off in an hour or so.”

“Branding… you branded me?” I looked down at me chest and saw words upside down. In my daze it took me longer to make out what it was than it should have. “F, Failed product?”

“It’s a warning. You hardly do much to aid the family. Yes you hack computers and get blueprints for our Doers, but it’s not enough. I hold you and your brother to higher standards than this. Your brother does amazingly at making a murder look like a suicide. You? You’re a joke. You walk around, satisfied with the bear minimum! You don’t care at all for what we do here, do you?”

I should have lied, but everything was too foggy to think of anything. “I, I just can’t seem to pull the trigger.”

“You are the youngest son of this family's best and finest, I was gonna hand down the leader job to you, ya know. When I heard you were born, I thought I found my replacement. Yet, as years went by, you disappointed and ignored your duty to this family, this business! You know how they say every herd of sheep has one that’s a different color? Well we’re a pack of predators, and you’re nothing more than a house trained dog that barely makes it by and just provides enough to the pack to be somewhat useful!

“Look, I really don’t wanna do this. You’re my nephew, my brother’s kid. Prove me wrong about you in… let’s saw three years, and this whole conversation never happened.”

“Isn’t 2012 in three years?”

“Yeah, so if those mayan mother fuckers are right, then you better get some practice in kid.” Uncle Josh walked back into the dark part of the room. “Cause no tame dog can hunt with a pack.”

Author's Notes:

I felt that a chapter about generally how Zeke grew up with his family was okay. Next chapter Expect Dream Drop Distance stuff.