Spike stepped into Twilight's bedroom, making sure to close the large door behind him and securely lock it. After he had double checked the lock he walked further into the room, taking note of two most prominent features in the usually normal looking room. An imposing, blocky, black camcorder complete with a microphone stood on a tripod to the far side of the room and a small note rested sqaurely on the bed. Spike reached fo the note and plucked it off the sheets before briefly skimming it's contents.

Instructions:
- Remove all articles of clothing
- When subject is ready, place bracelet on wrist
- Make sure both you and subject are sufficiently aroused before penetration
- Make sure subject is within radius of recording devices
- Do not goad subject
- Do not muffle subject's speech

Spike nodded to himself in the empty room as he scrunched the note up and threw it in a nearby trash can. With nothing more to do, Spike followed the first instruction of the note and began to remove his purple pullover hoodie and T-shirt from his torso before slipping out of his jeans and underwear, letting the pile of clothes bunch up on the floor. He stood naked in the room, his flaccid but still impressively large cock and balls lazily dangling between his legs as he looked awkwardly around the still room. His eyes settled on the camcorder, a shining red light to the side of the deep lens signaling that the device was currently recording Spike in his naked state, but Twilight would just fast forward through this part of the video anyway, so he certainly wasn't shy.

"Spike? Are you in there?" A voice called out from the nearby en suite, Twilight's voice to be precise.

"Yeah..." Spike responded, sitting his nude ass on the bed.

"Have you read the instructions?" Twilight asked.

"Yep..." Spike nodded.

"Alright..." A few seconds pause left a stale silence in the room. "Ok, I'm ready. Put the bracelet on." Twilight instructed. Spike had been holding the rose gold bracelet in his hand ever since he entered the room but now he slipped it past his hand and tightly onto his wrist. The pink jewel contained between the two lengths of gold began to blink slowly, signaling that its strange magic was going to work. Spike heard the tell-tale giggles coming from the nearby bathroom as Twilight's assets were no doubt plumping up to bimbo-like proportions. With a click of the bathroom lock, Twilight, or rather bimbo-Twilight stepped out of the room completely nude and resting her hips against the door frame.

"Hey, stud." She giggled as she hungrily eyed Spike's body up and down, paying close attention to the flopping cock tightly bunched between his thighs. She bit down on her lip as an idle hand slipped to her freshly shaven pussy, slowly running circles around her clit and readying her pussy for what was about to come. "Fuck..." She whispered to herself as her eyes drifted closed and her brain ran wild.

While Twilight was enjoying herself by the door, Spike rolled his eyes at her unfocused ditziness and walked over to the woman, grabbed her by the back of the thighs and hoist her up into the air. Twilight released a surprised exclamation as Spike walked them over in front of the camera's lens, all while Twilight inhaled and exhaled heavily and looked down at the man with an almost predatory gaze.

"Holy shit... Y'know you're soooo fucking hot when you do that, right?" Twilight asked, but Spike didn't respond, instead, he drove his lips against hers, instantly locking their mouths together much to Twilight's pleasure. Spike began tenderly kissing the woman held steadily in his arms, slipping tongue into her mouth to play with Twilight's own, slipping and sucking upon each other’s lips happily in a soft and nuanced make-out session. Spike delved deeper and deeper with his tongue, eventually dancing his entire tongue around Twilight's much more docile muscle. Twilight began to draw closer to Spike's body, wrapping her dainty, toned lower legs around Spike's waist as her slim arms hooked around his neck and shoulders, essentially latching herself to his strong body.

As the two continued their mutual snogging, the contact between their warm bodies propelled their arousal further. With Twilight's big, cushy breasts pressed against Spike's collar and Spike's rippling abdominal muscles against Twilight's crotch they were both ready within seconds. As was Spike's cock, now at full rock-hard mast and hanging between his legs where it felt an overwhelming sense of heat come from above it. Twilight's pussy was deep in heat, washing its pink folds with fresh juices and preparing itself for Spike's long, thick package as the pair made out slowly and subtlely.

With Twilight still in his grasp, he walked her over to the camera's front and center and gently lowered her to the floor, all the while kissing her until her soft soles were planted upon the smooth surface of the bedroom's crystalline floor. He slowly moved his hands up her body, from her thighs to her ass (which he gave a quick squeeze to) before running her hands up her waist and trailing his thumbs across her toned stomach and finally resting his hands on her upper arms kept firmly by her sides.

Spike released from the kiss and spun Twilight around on her feet so she was facing the video camera directly. Twilight giggled dopily and instinctively bent herself over so her pert butt was pushed against the throbbing cock backed up against her and Spike was holding up her upper half. She began to shake her rump against the clock, jiggling it about and begging Spike to fuck her with every movement of her hips, which Spike was happy to oblige.

"That's such a big, fucking dick, daddy~" Twilight pouted as she continued to shake and twerk her ass on Spike's firm, thick dick. "What're you gonna do with it? Gonna make me cum? Gonna put all your cum in me?" Twilight asked the man in a low and sexual voice as Spike pulled back and lined up his waiting cock with her equally waiting pussy. With a thrust, the young woman's pussy was spread and Spike was buried halfway deep in Twilight, both of them exclaiming in pleasure at the contact, but Twilight's was a lot louder and a lot more explicit. "Fuck! Oh myyy fuuuuuucking fuck! How do I never get used to that big dick in my tight pussy?" Twilight whimpered at the staggering pleasure dealt to her.

Spike gripped Twilight's biceps even tighter as her snug and squishy cunt wrapped tightly around his fat dick, squeezing him and drawing him further into her. Twilight was freely squealing and moaning as Spike dug even more of his rigid inches in her slick twat, the pleasure of being stretched putting her on her tippy-toes and keeping her fingers clenched until her knuckles were white. Spike continued to delve deeper into her before he pulled back, only to push back in after a few seconds of rest, once again making Twilight shriek in pleasure.

"Oh-oh-oh-oh! I'm gonna cum so fucking hard for you!" Twilight moaned, thrashing her head backward as Spike began to pump her curvy body back and forth on his cock, using his strong hands and arms to slide her across all the inches of his shaft and bring himself the pleasures of Twilight's tight tunnel. He continued dong this, pushing and pulling her back on his cock like she was a fleshlight as he added in his own thrusts, almost pushing her off her precariously tensed toes with every pump of his arms and hips. "Mmmmmm ooh fuck daddy, that dick is sooooo good! I'm gonna cum all over it!"

Spike kept thrusting, each time he pounded into Twilight she moaned, each moan increasing in loudness and pitch until she was squealing like a new-born piglet from Spike's ramming cock. She had been close to orgasm ever since Spike had slid his cock into her but amidst all the blitzing bumps to her nethers making her pendulous tits bounce in circles and her once straight and neat hair become frazzled and stuck to her sweat covered forehead, she released a single long 'Fuck' trailing off into a stunned silence.

Her knees buckled as her climax washed over her voluptuous frame, now Spike was the only thing stopping her from hitting the floor. Her eyes rolled back while her body rocked, her brain suddenly clouded and dumber than usual as her nethers took over, boring a hole directly through her mind and letting a flood of euphoric pleasure spread over her entire body. She giggled and smiled as her legs jittered wildly and Spike slowed down, replacing his passionate, quick thrusts with much harder and longer ones. He was trying to reach his orgasm by ramming as much of his sensitive cock into Twilight's tight, convulsing pussy as possible.

And eventually, of course, he achieved his own orgasm with a groan through clenched teeth. His balls churned and beat, shooting multiple sprays of seed through his freely flexing cock and filling Twilight's warm and waiting pussy with a dense load. He continued grunting and bucking his hips swiftly as more and more cum splashed inside the shaking woman, baking quite a large creampie between her sweet, pink walls.

Spike panted and waited a few second before exiting the wonderful cunt with a rather abrupt, 'schlop' sounding off as he pulled a still rigid cock from its previous sheath, leaving all the cum he previously loaded into her to slowly spill and drip onto the floor beneath her. Spike gave a few shakes to Twilight's body before he noticed she had passed out, figures. She always was a lightweight, passing out more than any of the other girls after a hot fuck session.

Spike plucked her up, lifting her feet from the floor and walking her unconscious form over to the bed where he laid her naked body beneath the blanket and her head on the pillows. With her wrapped up tight and probably out cold for the next few hours, Spike removed the bracelet from his wrist, watching as Twilight's previously larger sexual features deflated before his very eyes, turning her back into normal-Twilight. With that done, Spike walked over to the still recording camcorder and flipped its off switch, shutting off it's recording and dimming the red light all the way down.

Spike then proceeded to redress himself and go to leave the room, but before he did he looked over to Twilight's sleeping form in the bed, a neutral expression present on her resting face and a light and admittedly cute snoring sound escaping her slightly parted lips. Spike walked over to the bed and leaned over her, making sure to slide some sweat-matted strands of purple hair off her forehead and behind her ear. He smiled subtly and walked away from her, before leaving the room.

"Mmmmmm ooh fuck daddy, that dick is sooooo good! I'm gonna cum all over it!"

Twilight sighed as she paused the explicit footage on her lab's outdated television screen. She pushed her thumb down on the clicker of her pen and slid a clipboard holding one sheet of paper over to herself on the cold steel of the lab table. She added another straight line to an already well-established set of tally marks set under the word 'Fuck'. She repeated the small, straight line of black ink under the words 'Daddy', 'Dick' and 'Cum'. She clicked the button on her pen, making the nib retreat as she placed it on the table and looked back to the fuzzy television screen.

She saw herself. Well, what was supposed to be herself. Her body resembled that of a surgically nipped and tucked pornstar pumped to the brim with silicon rather than the slender frame she occupied at the moment. She was bent over, her pendulous breasts caught mid-swing and a dopey grin covered her face as the video was paused mid-coitus. However, the amateur porno was not something the current Twilight was watching for pleasure but instead for the noble conquest of science.

After she had given birth to Star and was rid of the peculiar magic of the Elements of Harmony, she became absolutely fascinated by the physically enhancing and mentally degrading abilities the Element's wild magic had on the women of Ponyville, herself included. The adaptive nature of the seemingly sentient Elements intrigued her to no end, the way they warped the bodies and minds of the women around them to become more enticing and 'breedable' to the male populace based entirely on the popular idea of the ideal women in modern society astounded her. Almost as if the magic of the Elements were an aware creature, weaving themselves into the biology and society of humans, despite not being created by the Alicorns.

She had quizzed Princess Celestia and Luna about it for hours on end, wanting to learn every last detail about the Elements of Harmony that they had kept from her. The Alicorn sisters were going to give her a full rundown of their history when she was a few more years into her Princess title but after what she had been through they had granted her all the written and spoken knowledge they held on the mystical Elements.

She dragged the suitcases bursting with the multiple notes she had taken and the tomes she had borrowed back to Ponyville and poured through the bursting wells of information over the course of a few coffee-driven nights. After she had finished her learning binge she found herself wanting more, as any intelligent mind naturally would. So, she took it upon herself to record and experiment the 'bimbofying' (She was trying to think of a better word for it) effects of the Elements of Harmony on herself and her friends.

Hence why she was intently studying a homemade porno movie between her and Spike. She had done this a few times, recorded the two of them having sex while she was under the 'bimbofied' (She was also trying to think of a better word for that, too) state from the magic bracelet Celestia had gifted Spike.

She was currently recording levels of profanity used when under the bimbo effect. A curse leaving the normal Twilight's lips was a rarity, but with bimbo Twilight's limited brain capacity came a very dirty mouth. A very dirty mouth that Twilight was very interested in.

She had built a table of swear words on her paper with some wide tally marks to go with them. At the moment the video was paused she had marked down seven uses of the word 'Fuck', one use of the word 'Shit', four uses of the word 'Dick', four uses of the word 'Cum', and one of the word 'Pussy'. While 'Daddy' wasn't a swear she counted it anyway for its obscene connotations, plus the incestuous implications made her skin crawl every time she said it. Thoughts of her own father doing the same things Spike was doing in the video invaded her head but were quickly forced out of Twilight's disgusted mind.

She leaned back in her office chair and let her weight push her away from the steel counter top, the plastic wheels squeaking while her mind wandered away from her scientific recordings. She exhaled through lazy lips and closed her eyes as she recalled the last few years.

It had been an interesting few years... That was for certain. An entire seven years out of her control. Well not technically out of her hands, she wasn't a prisoner within her own mind per se, more like the normal-Twilight's mind was melded with bimbo-Twilight's mind into one brain, with the 'bimbo' side being dominant. In layman's terms, normal-Twilight was aware of what she was doing but couldn't understand why it was wrong or unusual. But as soon as she gave birth to little Violet Star the bimbo-Twilight disappeared and a very confused and very angry normal-Twilight regained full control of her body and, as a result, had to deal with the intense flood of emotions from seven years of suppression.

The initial confusion, the anger at Spike, disappointment at Celestia, sorrow at losing seven years of her life, dread at having to raise a child and an overall bout of depression hit her like a freight train. She was disgusted with herself for days afterward for the unspeakable acts she did with Spike, her own brother, a man she practically raised from his egg. Although she did manage to convince herself it wasn't that bad considering her and Spike weren't technically related combined with the fact that Rarity and Applejack performed similar acts with their respective blood-relatives. But overall that did little to soften the blow.

Twilight lent her head back, resting her neck on the back of her chair and letting her long, purple hair dangle down in the tepid conditions of her lab. By all accounts, she should be sickened with herself, her friends and Spike. But there was one very important point that kept her from vomiting in disgust 24/7.

It was damn fun.

Twilight smiled to herself and brought a hand up to rub her temples. She knew it was bad to think it but the mind-blowing, debaucherous, on-tap sex was... Well, exactly that. Mind-blowing, debaucherous, on-tap sex. Before the shut-in, virgin Twilight moved to Ponyville she always considered herself a bit too intelligent to give into her primal desires, but her time inside a bimbo’s body had shown her a very extensive appreciation for the world of sex. From male to female, submissive to dominant, head to toes she saw sex not only as a form of intense fun with her friends but also as a very effective form of stress-relief. And Celestia knows Twilight needed that after spending a day with her daughter and Spike.

Twilight crooned her neck back up and pried her eyelids apart. She placed the balls of her feet on the ground and pulled herself back to the lab's table to continue her very important research. She was about to press the pause button on her television set and continue the video where she left off, but something was stopping her.

She furrowed her brow as she leaned in closer to the glowing screen. At the exact moment, she had paused the video, the buxom Twilight that was present in the still frame was staring dead center into the camera and as a result, staring at her less buxom counterpart.

"Huh..." Twilight mumbled, a slightly confused grimace appearing on her face. "That's strange..." She clicked the button once, continuing the fervent fucking on screen. As the video continued, light moans emanated from the small TV speakers, filling the empty lab while Twilight intently examined the footage. She definitely recalled telling herself to ignore the camera before Spike slipped the bracelet on, she double checked telling herself, and the double checked double checking herself. She shrugged it off as just losing herself in the heat of the moment.

But bimbo-Twilight kept staring. Twilight couldn't help but stare back at the television screen as needy moans of ecstasy escaped the loose lips of the Twilight staring right back at her, almost as if she was confronting her counterpart on the other side of the camera's lens. Twilight chuckled to herself, amused at her overactive brain simply making mountains out of molehills.

But then the Twilight on the television smiled.

Twilight perked up, straightening her back and pulling herself closer to the screen until she could almost make out the red, green and blue lines of the pixels. But despite the buzzing pixels assaulting her vision, she could still make out the very clear image of bimbo-Twilight flashing her pearly whites at the screen. Twilight furrowed her brow and squinted as she tried to recollect the memory of smiling at the camera she explicitly told herself to ignore. But no such memory could be found despite Twilight having an eidetic memory, even in her duller state.

Twilight lent back from the buzzing screen once her eyes began to sting. She tried to conceive a reason for why she was doing this. Was she just smiling and her eyes happened to line up with the camera lens? Did she blackout from Spike fucking her so hard and forget what she told herself? Was the onscreen Twilight just having a bit of fun with the behind the camera Twilight? Twilight chuckled again, reminding herself she was once again making mountains out of molehills.

Then bimbo-Twilight blew a kiss at the camera.

"Alright. What in the..." Twilight began to question the video tape before she noticed a sliver of light expand across the dark lab, originating from the door. A head of green, spiky hair poked into the room, paired with a wide smile full of sharp teeth and a pair of wide, green eyes.

"Hey, Twilight." He smiled, stepping into the room and revealing a gurgling Violet Star in his strong arms. Twilight instinctively clicked the off button on the TV, silencing the moaning and groaning resonating from the slightly distorted speakers.

"Hi, you two!" Twilight smiled at the father and daughter walking into the room while trying to forget about the strange activity on the video tape. As Spike got closer to Twilight, Violet Star turned her head and cooed loudly, sticking out both of her chubby arms in Twilight's direction.

"Ugh. She's been wanting you all day." Spike smiled, keeping a tight hold on the wriggling baby in his arms.

"Here. Late me take her." Twilight offered, stretching her arms out and providing a very comfy looking canopy for the wriggling infant. Spike transitioned the precious payload from his arms to Twilight smoothly as she smiled down at her child which hooked a finger into her own smiling mouth and began to drool all over the digit. Twilight shook her head and smiled at the mixture of cute and gross bundled in her arms. But the smile on her face quickly disappeared and was replaced with a wide and wailing mouth. "Oh, what's wrong Vi?" Twilight hypothetically asked crying baby, being met with a high-pitched howl as a response. "Is someone hungry?" She asked, once again hypothetically.

"It has been a while since feeding time." Spike commented.

"Feeding time? She's not an animal, Spike." Twilight chuckled at her assistant's strange use of language.

"Sorry. It's just weird thinking of her as mine, y'know." Spike said, grabbing a nearby chair and planting himself on it. As Spike seated himself, Twilight pulled her left arm from the sleeve of the purple t-shirt and pulled the loose side over her shoulders, exposing a bare breast and nipple which Violet instinctively latched onto and began to suckle upon.

"I know what you mean. It's all just happened so fast... It's just so strange." Twilight sighed, leaning back while keeping Violet close to her chest. "I remember taking care of you, you know?" Twilight said, looking over to Spike with a warm smile.

"Really?" Spike asked, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

"Well... Helping mom take care of you. But I did spend a lot of time taking care of you. Feeding you. Bathing you. Changing your diapers." She chuckled.

"Heh... Weird." Spike chuckled lightly followed by a stagnant silence between the pair. Their relationship was certainly weird, a fact the both of them were fully aware of. Part sister/brother, part mother/son, part boss/assistants, part best friends and now part lovers. Although Twilight would much rather refer to that part of the relationship as 'research partners'.

The pair shared a few fleeting glances, each one of the stares heavy with discomfort. There had been a few times like this. Where they shot each other fleeting glimpses charged with a bevy of emotions. Usually whenever Violet Star was in the room or the subject of their unusual relationship was brought up. Neither of them ever discussed it, though, that would be akin to killing their friendship. Or at least that's what they thought.

"Ooh, careful there Vi." Twilight winced in pain as Violet suckled harshly on her now tender nipple. The pair danced the familiar dance, one of them would bring up something awkward about their relationship, they would share a difficult silence and charged stares before one of them would switch the subject. "Celestia... I can't imagine what she'll be like when her teeth come in." Twilight released a stunted chuckled as Violet let go of her nipple and she put her bare breast away.

"Yeah..." Spike chuckled, breaking eye contact with his friend. His eyes found no particular resting place around the lab. No piece of machinery or equipment he could comment on and quickly switch the subject to one much less heavy than their strained relationship. But no such salvation came for Spike so his last words hung in the air like a stale stench.

The room was quiet aside for an occasional gurgle from Violet Star. Neither Spike nor Twilight looked at each other in the silent room, only recognizing each other through quick sideways glances, an act both acknowledged but at the same time attempting not to. They both knew better. They both knew that they knew better.

But something was stopping them.

Twilight looked at Spike, not a quick glance this time but a long stare at his temple, something Spike could near feel graze his head. Her breathing slowed down, her chest pushing inwards as she prepared herself for what she was about to say.

"Spike... We have to tal-" She began before Spike interrupted her with a loud, rumbling burp, something that Twilight would usually be disgusted by if said burp didn't produce a rolled-up scroll marked with the sigil of the Royal Sisters. "Huh. What could that be?" Twilight said out loud, mentally setting a reminder to talk with Spike later on while Spike threw praise to Celestia in his mind for saving him from such an important yet arduous conversation.

"Yeah. You haven't written to her recently, have you?" Spike asked, plucking the tightly wrapped parchment from the floor and unfurling it in his hands.

"No, not since last Sunday. And that was just my weekly report on Starlight." Twilight commented as Spike read the note.

Dear Twilight Sparkle.

We request the immediate presence of The Elements of Harmony, Spike the Dragon and Starlight Glimmer at the Crystal Empire. Gather your friends and report to Ponyville square, we will dispatch transport to you in thirty minutes. We apologize for the short notice but what we are dealing with is of the utmost urgency.

Yours,
The Royal Sisters

"Hmm. 'Utmost urgency'? Sounds important." Spike mumbled, raising an eyebrow at the vague summons.

"Is that all it says?" Twilight asked, standing from her chair and walking to Spike's side to closer inspect the letter.

"Yeah. That's it. Nothing about the kids or anything. Do we take them with us?" Spike asked, looking at Violet Star held in her mother's arms.

"If the Princesses didn't specify it then we probably shouldn't bring them. I'll call Mrs. Bottle. Could you round up the girls?" Twilight asked, tightening her arms around Violet Star ever so slightly. She was worried for her child. Whatever this letter meant, it sounded urgent and even a little dangerous for her and the other girls. Deep down she hoped it would be a simple problem that she could fix within the day, but as she scanned the letter from her tutors she noticed just how short and too-the-point it was. She was never usually this cryptic unless the matter was serious and her handwriting was much more hastily scribbled than her usual elegant cursive calligraphy.

Spike placed the letter down on the counter and hastily paced out of the room, no doubt going to get the girls. All Twilight could do was read the parchment on the table and slowly but audible breath through her nose.

"Is Mrs. Bottle ok to sit?" Spike asked the concerned Twilight as she walked up to her friends who currently resided in the Ponyville town square. All the requested subjects were there, standing with Spike and looking expectantly.

"She doesn't really have much choice right now." Twilight sighed, walking up to her friends and smiling a reassuring smile at the group of annoyed women.

"Now will you tell me what's going on?" Starlight Glimmer asked, trailing behind her mentor.

"Yeah. What the heck is going on Twi. I had to call my nanny on one of her days off." Rainbow Dash huffed, hovering in the air with a gentle bat of her blue wings. "Have your tried telling an already overworked nanny that she has five minutes to come over to my house and take care of my kid."

"As a matter of fact, Rainbow, I do." Twilight grumbled, rubbing the bridge of her nose with a thumb and forefinger. She sighed once again as she looked at her expecting friends, who were all wondering why exactly they had been called out on such short notice. "Alright girls. I've received a letter from Princess Celestia and Princess Luna asking for us at the Crystal Empire today. They've sent transport for all of us that will arrive within the next half hour."

"Alright... Why?" Applejack asked.

"I don't know." Twilight responded.

"You don't know? They didn't tell you?" Rarity asked, not quite believing the vagueness of the orders.

"No, they did not. All they said was it 'is of the utmost urgency'." Twilight explained. "They didn't say anything about the kids so I thought it would be best to leave them back here for their safety." Twilight held her own hands in front of her hips as she discussed the sensitive topic.

"So, they didn't say anything at all? That's super weird." Pinkie Pie commented, rocking back and forth on the heels of her feet.

"I have to agree. Do you think it's anything... Dangerous?" Fluttershy put emphasis on the last word as if the mention would garner its wrath.

"Once again, I just don't know. I'm really sorry about all of this girls, but it must be important if she wants us on such short notice." Twilight reassured. She had one-hundred percent trust in her that her mentor but there was something she couldn't shake. A heavy feeling in her gut telling her something was wrong... Off-balance... Disharmonious. She didn't know what was wrong but she had learned to trust her gut feelings, despite the uneasy feeling that weighed it down.

"Alright, when are we leaving?" Starlight asked, eager as ever. Twilight liked that, even in the face of possible danger her student was eager to learn.

"Right about now." Spike said, pointing to the four golden chariots circling the skies around Ponyville. After another loop of the town, the Pegasus-Blood hauled chariots touched down on a wide stretch of the dirt path, the various civilians of Ponyville stepping to the side as the powerful beating of the guard's wings kicked up plumes of dust beneath them. The shining wagons landed in a straight formation, every one of thirty-two guards standing at attention as the group walked towards them.

"Princess Twilight Sparkle?" One of the front guards pulling the first chariot asked the approaching woman.

"Thank you, Sergeant." Twilight nodded her head at the stoic guards clad in golden plate armor and a large winter coat. She looked over the four chariots in front of her. They weren't like the usual transport chariots that the Royal Guard carried, these one were instead larger and more ornately decorated as if meant for diplomats, ambassadors or royalty from abroad. The most noticeable addition was a large curved roof stretching from the back of the carriage to the front, covering the entire bay area which looked to be accessible via two doors adorned with blue velvet curtains and two small windows on each side. Shinning veins of ivory and silver ran through the blinding gold of the chassis as twisting, elegant detail leading to a wide disk of cloudy purple stone stamped with the royal insignia.

"Any reason for the decked-out ride?" Rainbow Dash asked, levitating over the golden chariots and admiring their sleek, pimped-out appearance with an elongated whistle.

"Temperatures in the Frozen North can reach below ten degrees Fahrenheit, Miss Rainbow Dash." The lead guard explained. "The carriage is heated for your comfort." He added as Rainbow admired the sweet ride.

"I'll say. This is hot!" Rainbow mumbled.

"Yes please!" Rarity squealed as she rushed over to a carriage and admired the beauty of her gilded transport behind a pair of large, designer sunglasses. "Oh, my goodness. Could we take a quick detour through Canterlot? The 'exquisite face of fashion' Rarity photographed riding in one of these babies would be front page material!" Rarity exclaimed happily, biting her bottom lip as she imagined a glossy photo of her waving from the window of the Princess' chariot printed a thousand times over.

"Calm down there, Rarity." Applejack rolled her eyes and pulled Rarity's shoulder, returning her to an upright position and snapping her from her fantasy.

"Aww... Just a little one?" Rarity asked the rather unamused guards.

"I think that's a 'no', Rares." Rainbow Dash chuckled.

"Alright girls, enough messing around," Twilight said, rallying the attention to her. "Let's get to it."

"Ooooh! Champers!" Rarity cooed as she explored the interior of the chariot. A short cabinet made of rich, dark hardwood stretched from wall to wall and sat bellow a glass windshield, allowing a view of the rushing landscape and hardworking guards pulling the chariot. On the back wall was a sofa stretching across the entire space of the chariots inside, adorned with cushy blue velvet pillows. A blue velvet pillow that Rarity planted herself onto with a bottle of expensive champagne in one hand and two thin, elegant flutes on the other. "Care for a glass?" Rarity asked, holding out one of the flutes.

"No thanks." Twilight waved the glass away and continued to stare out the front window. Rarity rolled her eyes and popped the cork of the thick, green bottle and spilled some of the contents in the thin glass until it foamed to the top.

"Are you sure?" Rarity asked. She sipped elegantly from the flute, smiling into the rim of the glass as the bubbles burst and tickled her tongue.

"No... I have to keep my mind clear." Twilight assured herself.

"Is there any reason you want to keep your mind clear?" Rarity asked, leaning back on the plush pillows behind her.

"I just want to be my best for Celestia and Luna." Twilight explained. "I don't want to muddle my mind with alcohol."

"Is that all you're thinking about?" Rarity asked, slowly sipping her beverage from her ruby red lips which puckered into a subtle and slightly smug smirk, a smirk Twilight didn't notice behind the golden liquid in the glass touching Rarity's lips.

"Yes." Twilight assured, turning her head to look at her friend.

"Really?" Rarity asked once again, this time raising an eyebrow and still maintaining her cheeky smirk. Twilight squinted her eyes as her friend broadcasted a face that implied a fully knowing 'Really?'

"Miss Rarity. Are you implying something?" Twilight chuckled at her friend's lust for juicy gossip.

"I might be... I might not... Whose to say?" Rarity giggled.

Twilight looked at her friend. Rarity was happy, she could tell that much. Much happier than Twilight was with her current situation at least. She squinted at her friend as if the reduction of her vision would let loose all her secrets for a happier life. Not to say her life was awful by any means.

"What are you implying?" Twilight could tell Rarity wanted her to ask, so she humored her friend.

"I'm implying you're having problems with Spike." Rarity blurted. "Whoops, did I say that?" Rarity covered her mouth humorously as Twilight smiled at her sarcastic friend.

"I think you'll find that is actually an explicit statement," Twilight smirked at her friend's girlish yet charming antics. "But true none the less." Twilight sighed, slumping in her seat ever so slightly, a detail that did not go unnoticed by Rarity's keen eye.

Rarity slipped her black pumps off and kicked her pantyhose clad feet onto the sofa. She curled her body inward in a comfortable yet beautifully feminine position as she once again sipped some of the steadily fleeting bubbly in her glass. She once again held an empty glass out for Twilight, beckoning her friend to indulge in the champagne.

"One glass." Twilight held a single index finger out, firmly indicating that she would only accept one glass of the champagne. She took the glass from her friend and held it in a delicate grasp.

"Just the one." Rarity assured with a cheeky wink to her friend. She tipped the large green bottle, pouring some of the bubbling golden liquid into the glass in her friend's hand. Once the brim was topped up with a thick, frothy head Rarity placed the bottle on the top of the cabinet while Twilight sipped on the drink. She cringed slightly as the alcohol singed her throat. She never was much one for the drink but she had to admit the tickling bubbles were enjoyable on her tongue.

"So... What do you want to know?" Twilight asked coughing slightly at the warm sting of alcohol in her throat.

"Whatever you want to tell me." Rarity answered. Truthfully, she already knew what her friend was going to say. Rarity's keen eye-for-detail wasn't limited to her fabrics and dresses, she also had all her friend's personal lives down to a tee at this point. From little inflections in their voices or their body language, when she picked up on something off about them she added it to her own little mental collection of quirks and tried to piece them together into a cohesive reason.

Immoral? Maybe. But she did it to help her friends. She wanted to be their agony aunt in a time of need. And that's what she was about to do right now.

"Ugh... Where to start?" Twilight groaned. "You know how Spike and I have always been... Weird?" Twilight asked before once again sipping her champagne.

"I think I know what you mean. But for my full understanding, could you explain?" Rarity asked, joining Twilight in sipping the liquor in her glass.

"Well... I'm the reason he's here, the reason he's alive... And I helped raise him from a hatchling. But I'm definitely not his mother." She paused herself to sip her drink. "But even though he is my brother technically by adoptive law. He's still kinda not... Because I'm also kind of his mom... But I'm also not." She sipped her drink once again, a little more slipping down her throat than last time. "And while that's going on I'm also kinda his boss, y'know? But I certainly don't think I'm his boss... I do pay his salary..." Twilight leaned back on the sofa, her eyes wide as she thought and, once again, sipping from her glass. "No... I'm not his boss..." Twilight looked over to her friend for reassurance.

"Not his boss." Rarity nodded.

"Not his boss..." Twilight nodded her head and sighed, before taking another sip. "And then there's the whole... Thing, y'know?" Twilight waved her hand in the air, drawing a large, loose box with her hand as a rough explanation of the glaring topic she was still embarrassed to talk about. Rarity nodded in understanding, after all, it wasn't difficult to decipher what she meant after it was such a large part of their lives for so long. "So that's already adding to all the mess of the other stuff that's going on." Twilight slumped down on the soft couch and placed the thin rim of the glass against her lips once again, but this time nothing entered her mouth. She brought the glass in front of her eyes and saw that not a single drop of champagne was left. She looked over at Rarity whose eyes seemed to ask the question: 'Another?'

Twilight held her arm out, her empty glass beckoning for another filling. Rarity was happy to indulge her and poured another helping of alcohol into her friend's flute before topping her own glass up. Twilight drank some of the still foaming champagne again and sighed in relief, the dulling liquor cooling her flared mind all while Rarity processed the information.

"So... You're his mother. But at the same time, you're not." Rarity explained it back out loud.

"Yes." Twilight confirmed.

"And you're also his sister. But you can't really be his sister because you're also his mother. Which you're also not." Rarity placed her glass on the cabinet.

"Mm-hmm." Twilight nodded.

"Not his boss, though." Rarity pointed.

"Not his boss." Twilight pointed back.

"But you are his lover." Rarity explained. Twilight looked out the window, thinking about her relationship with Spike and bimbo-Twilight.

"Yes..." Twilight said slowly, not quite sure if her answer was correct.

"Ok." Rarity sat back, thinking about the information her friend laid on her. As she mused over the slightly tipsy facts Twilight told she noticed one role Spike took that was not stated. "I think you're forgetting something, dear." Twilight stopped sipping her drink and looked at Rarity expectantly.

"Yeah?" She asked, coughing slightly from the alcohol searing her gullet.

"Mm-hmm..." Rarity nodded. "What's the one thing that Spike is and has always been to you?" Rarity asked.

"Umm..." Twilight mumbled, the booze most definitely muddling her mind at this point.

"Spike is your..." Rarity rolled her hand, beckoning for Twilight to continue her sentence.

"Spike is my..." Twilight trailed off, the alcohol meddling with the particularly lightweight woman's thought process.

"Fr..." Rarity rolled her hand faster as her words faded, providing an opportunity for Twilight to finish.

"Frieeeend... He's my friend!" Twilight exclaimed, perking up in her seat while Rarity clapped quietly and daintily.

"There you go!" She smiled.

"Friend... I can't believe I forgot that..." Twilight slumped back down again, seemingly falling back into a mini-depression. Friendship was the ground that her entire life was built on and she honestly felt disappointed in herself. She frowned lightly at herself as Rarity wriggled closer on the couch. She placed a hand on Twilight's silky straight hair and ever so gently pulled her closer so her head was resting against her bosom.

"It's ok, darling. You're obviously going through a lot right now. But let's push through that and get to the problem." Rarity began to gently run her palm over Twilight's soft and streaked hair, lulling the young bookworm into her friend's soft chest. "When was the last time you and Spike spent some time together?" Rarity questioned.

"We watch Violet's favorite show every day." Twilight commented, smiling a bit. It wasn't exactly what Rarity wanted to hear, so she prodded a little further.

"Okay... Anything else?" Rarity asked.

"We went to the park on Sunday. With Violet, of course." Twilight responded.

"Alright. When was the last time you and Spike spent time together, without young Violet?" Rarity posed the question in an attempt to find the source of the problem.

"Ummm... A couple of months ago... Maybe." Twilight admitted, sinking a little further into her guilt.

"Now there's your problem you see." Rarity shifted her body along the couch a tad and rested her head on the crown if Twilight's. "Whenever I see you and Spike, you know what I see?"

"What?" Twilight asked, curious about what her friend had to say about her relationship. Something Twilight knew about Rarity was her knowledge of relationships from romantic to non-platonic. Probably her extensive knowledge of sappy romance novels and erotica.

"I see a mother and a father. Not two friends." Rarity whispered now, soothing the emotional bookworm in her embrace. "I think, now this is just me thinking. I think that because of Violet, you have restricted Spike to being just the father of your child. Not your friend."

"B-But... Why?" Twilight asked, looking up at her friend with a wet rim sitting around her purple eyes. Rarity smiled down at her slightly buzzed friend. It was rare seeing the Princess in such a state of distress and emotion, her usual rational self-dissipating when a few drops of liquor were added to her mind. It was a rare sight for such a woman of her standing and Rarity cherished every moment of it.

"You're not ready darling." Rarity put it bluntly. "For being a mother, I mean. None of us are. Some of us still aren't." Rarity placed her head back onto her friend's dome as she explained. "Violet and the entirely new lifestyle she brought with her was sprung on you whether you liked it or not. You didn't have much time to prepare for what is probably one of the greatest responsibilities of your life and your mind just hasn't adjusted properly." Rarity shifted herself a little into Twilight's curled up form. "And because of the already..." Rarity fished her mind for the correct word. "Complex relationship you two have already, as a friend Spike just got... Nudged out." Rarity explained, stroking the hair of the woman once again, calming the woozy woman.

"Nudged out?" Twilight repeated the words, her analytical mind, slightly addled by the booze, studied the words carefully. "Does that mean... I can make him my friend again?"

"Darling I don't think that's even a question you need to ask." Rarity giggled as she ruffled Twilight's silky straight. "Do you need me to list off every single thing you've ever done for your friends or all the friend's you've made across the entirety of Equestria?" Rarity asked, holding a hand out to the window and pointing at the country outside the window.

"No... But it would certainly help my ego." Twilight joked, finishing her sentence with a few sniffles.

"Exactly dear. You're Princess Twilight Sparkle. You can do any damn thing you set your mind to." Rarity punctuated her sentence with a poke to her friend's chest.

"I guess I can..." Twilight smiled as she pulled her body back up into a straight position, a sense of rejuvenation from Rarity's kind words of wisdom keeping her bones and muscles straight and confident. "Thank you, Rarity. I never thought it would be this hard to talk about all of this... Stuff."

"I know just what you mean." Rarity sat back up along with her friend. She grasped her glass of champagne, pursed her lips and sipped from the golden booze once again. While she sipped, her eyes darted over to Twilight, who was pouring her own glass of alcohol. She darted her eyes again, frequently shifting her blue orbs from the windshield to Twilight over and over until her friend finally noticed her shuffling pupils.

"Are you ok?" Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well now that you mention it." Rarity picked her long, slender legs up and slung them onto the couch and rested her head on Twilight's slightly pudgy thighs. "There is something on my mind." Rarity shot a cheeky smirk to her friend, who smiled right back at her.

"Well, I guess I can return the favor." Twilight chuckled, placing a hand on her friend's shin and using her other hand to sip her drink. "What do you want to talk about?" She pulled her lips away from the glass once and looked at her friend.

Rarity sighed, resting her head on the faux therapy chair. She squinted her eyes as she stared at the ornately decorated ceiling full of indented curves and embossed forms in gold. She would usually admire the decorated ceiling, but currently, she had larger ideas on her mind and wouldn't let herself be distracted.

"Twilight... When was the last time you went on a date?" Rarity asked, her eyes moving to look up at her friend.

"Just before the time we got impregnated. Why?" Twilight answered her question. She rested a slim hand on Rarity's curls, casually spinning a purple lock in her finger much like Rarity had done to her moments earlier.

"I think I might be the same." Rarity sighed. "Twilight. That was over a year ago." She looked up at her friend once again, a certain hollowness in her eyes. "I haven't had a date in over a year." Twilight stared back down at her, simply gazing into her eyes and trying to find the right thing to say in such a difficult and uneasy situation. Rarity was delicate when it came to relationships, especially romantic ones as past experiences showed.

Prince Bluebood, Trenderhoof and the various other 'Prince Charmings' that came and went from her life always left her in a bit of an emotional state which could easily be sorted with a box of tissues, tub of strawberry ice cream and a quick fuck with the girls or a random guy in a club toilet. But things were different now, not only was she in a more rational and less mentally dull state, all her previous romantic relationships were based on her suitors while this one was based on her lack of suitors. But Twilight was an intelligent woman and she knew just how to handle this bombshell.

"And why do you think that is?" Twilight asked, sounding like a proper shrink at this point.

"Shall I count the reasons?" Rarity rolled her eyes as the various problems with her dating life sprung up in her mind. "Number one." Rarity held a hand out, one finger outstretched while all the others remained clenched to her fist while Twilight looked on, thinking that the previous statement was only sarcastic. "I love her with all my heart, don't get me wrong. But Charoite has put a very large strain on my dating life." Rarity sighed. It was difficult for any of the Elements to adjust to their new and unexpected motherhood and some sacrifices in time had to be made for their new offspring. In Rarity's case, she found that keeping an eye on the newest and hottest bachelors and single elites in Canterlot was becoming increasingly difficult when she had her own lady to raise. Even in the rare case where she could score a few dates, her admirers were more often than not put off with her single mother status, and the ones that weren't saw Rarity as a hot MILF to add to the notches on their bedposts, something she did not appreciate in the slightest.

"Number two." Rarity extended another finger from her partial fist, the middle finger this time. "My image is..." Rarity grimaced and grumbled as her skin crawled. "Slightly tarnished among the higher communities. Even after the 'Purge'." Twilight nodded at the mention of the old familiar 'Purge'. "That's certainly made my work a lot harder than it needs to be. And not a lot of the Canterlot Elite want to be with a 'floozy'." Rarity grumbled, mentally cursing the stuffy members of Equestria's high society. "And number three." Rarity popped a manicured ring finger up in the air. "Well..." Rarity sat up swiftly, dodging a slightly surprised Twilight who was mere centimeters from being impaled by Rarity's horn. Rarity squinted her eyes as she traced the seams of the golden chariot's interior, searching every nook and every cranny for any way someone could snoop on her conversation. After a few more seconds of checking for any secret cameras or microphones, she rested her head back on Twilight's lap and looked up at her. "Let's be honest with ourselves Twilight. Who can compete with Spike in the... Bedroom department." Rarity whispered.

"I know what you mean." Twilight chuckled.

"I mean what is a woman to do after... That? The passion and... fire that he and her share is unmatchable!" Rarity huffed.

"Her?" Twilight asked at the mention of the unknown woman.

"You know. Her... Not me but 'other' Rarity." Rarity said, alluding to her more debaucherous alter-ego.

"Oh, of course." Twilight nodded in understanding.

"Do you know what she calls herself? 'Whority'. 'Whority', Twilight! I swear if the sex wasn't so fantastic I'd never let Spike wear that stupid little bracelet." Rarity hissed before pausing for about a minute all while Twilight soaked the information up. "Hmmph... He's ruined me. Not physically I mean... Everything's fine in the 'lady garden' but... I don't think I can have a normal romantic situation after him. Ugggh!" The lady slammed her fists down on the couch in aggravation. "Damn him! Damn him and his large penis!" Rarity cursed the man, sitting up once again and snatching her glass of champagne from where it was placed, spilling some of the contents on the floor due to her rough handling.

"Maybe you should..." Twilight was about to offer her some advice but stopped as she watched Rarity press the champagne flute against her lips, throw her head back and swallowing the filled glass of liquid in one smooth movement. Rarity hissed at the sudden large influx of alcohol burning her throat and placed her glass back down, her eyes clamped shut as her throat got used to the strange feeling.

"I wish this was wine." Rarity grumbled as she plopped her head back down on her friend's lap. "Well my dear Princess, have you any advice for a poor seamstress like myself?" Rarity asked. Rarity knew that chugging the booze was a bad idea. She could already feel her mind dulled slightly as the buzz took over her body. Her mind knew that it was in a weakened state. It knew that any comment she interpreted in the wrong way could send her on an emotional tirade. But alas it was unable to stop itself. "Sorry Twilight. You can talk now."

"Thank you. Have you at least thought about, and I mean thought about, giving Spike a try?" Twilight asked, trying to phrase the question in a way that wouldn't offend Rarity.

"We..." Rarity was about to spout off a point, but the words coming out of her mouth stopped as soon as they started. Rarity furrowed her brow and pouted, realizing that she never actually did consider that. "Hmmm..."

It was definitely an option, Rarity knew that, but one she had dismissed without consideration. Rarity could break down every little physical and mental detail of a man to see if he was eligible to be her 'Prince Charming'. First off, he had to be cordial, pleasant and, of course, generous, something that some previous partners lacked. Rarity scoffed as she remembered her absolutely awful run in with the royal ass Prince Blueblood. She shook the selfish and pompous man from her mind and imagined Spike in his place, making her lips curl almost unrecognizable. Spike had destroyed the 'greedy Dragon-Blood' stereotype and offered generosity in spades, probably a result of being by Rarity's side for so long. Rarity moved her eyes behind shut eyelids as she mentally checked off generosity on her Prince Charming shopping list.

Second. He had to be hot. Tall, dark and handsome preferably. Spike was handsome in a cute boyish sort of way, his spiked hair, snaggletooth, and ever-so-slightly pudgy cheeks still showing signs of adolescence and some physical immaturity which made Rarity feel like a very naughty cougar whenever she found herself admiring Spike's ample muscles. His Dragon-Blood heritage definitely gave him that dark edge she loved, something about him being a mysterious and dangerous predator from an unknown land reminded her of an old-timey movie about an interracial relationship and forbidden love. She liked that sense of taboo looming over a relationship, making it all the more enjoyable. And tall...

Well, Rarity could look past that part.

And the third and final necessity. He had to a gentleman, an attribute Spike held dear to his heart. Rarity smiled much more visible as she thought of the kind and courtly gentleman Spike had become. She knew that a lifetime of serving as Twilight's assistant had made him a very generous soul but Rarity liked to think Spike's close proximity to herself had made him the perfect gentleman he was today. While it was a little selfish to think that his attitude toward women was Rarity's handiwork, the evidence was quite obvious.

So, he had the attitude, the looks, and the defining feature. But Rarity couldn't date him.

The woman snapped her eyes open and flipped her body over, lifting her lower legs into the air and resting her chin on Twilight's thigh so she could stare out the window at the sky speeding past. As the clouds shot past the window Rarity deepened herself in her thoughts, wanting to get to the bottom of her relationship problems.

What is wrong with Spike?

While 'wrong' wasn't exactly the right phrasing, the question manifested itself in Rarity's head, begging for a definitive answer. But for the life of her, she couldn't find one.

"Twilight... What is wrong with Spike?" She asked still keeping her gaze out of the window while Twilight playfully and soothingly toyed with her hair.

"What's wrong with him? Well, sometimes he leaves the toilet seat up." Twilight joked, not understanding the question.

"No... I mean..." Rarity tried to explain but found her brain bemused by the booze. "You know him best. What are the cons to his pros?" She asked. Twilight nodded, trying to think of the negative aspects of Spike's character that would put Rarity off.

"He's young. That's for sure." She responded to which Rarity nodded. There was an age difference prevalent in their relationship, her being twenty-six (soon to be twenty-seven) and him still being eighteen years old could prove a little bit challenging in the long-term but surely not relationship-endingly bad. There were even a few high-class Canterlot types that kept young and virile 'boy-toys' with them, although they were mainly chosen for their large muscles and other large endowments rather than their smarts and personality.

"I'm not... I don't think that's much of a problem, Twilight. Not for me anyway." Rarity grumbled, placing her forehead on the soft cushion of the couch, her mind whirling a little bit as the sudden influx of the alcohol began messing with her.

"Alright... Maybe it's because you see him as a... Uhh... Sexual being now. After, you know... All that." Twilight posed the question and in return, Rarity considered it. It was hard for her to not see Spike in a sexual manner at this point after she had spent so long pining after his body, then a night of the best sex she had ever had, then a continuation of the best sex she ever had after her pregnancy. Yes, she could very easily see his body pounding into hers over and over again but 'fuck buddy' wasn't the first label Rarity would pin to him, that was 'father'.

"No... No... And even if it is sex is a very... Good part of relationships..." Rarity noted, lifting her head from the cushion.

"Yeah, yeah..." Twilight nodded, biding her time as she thought of new cons. "You two already have a kid. That's pretty weird, right?" Twilight asked.

"Weird indeed." Rarity knew that, but for some reason, it didn't crop up as a large problem, despite the fact that it was a massive part of her life today. If anything, it could bring them together as something they can relate over. They both loved Charoite with their entire hearts and that had brought them together in purely platonic embraces sometimes before. "But not the worst thing."

"What about his other five kids... With five other women... And he's in a relationship with three of those women." Twilight added, layering the information on Rarity one sentence after another. Rarity just nodded.

It certainly could be a problem. Spike had been worn thin by his daughters and girlfriends, usually, he could spend an entire day helping Rarity organize her shop or help clientele but nowadays he could only spend a few hours in her store at the most. In between playing with his other children he obviously made time for her as a friend, but could their limited time together be enough to build a relationship? Rarity knew that Applejack, Pinkie, and Fluttershy were all satisfied with their relationship with the young man, but would she be the same?

Rarity sighed and flipped herself back over where she released another sigh. She looked at her feet and saw her empty champagne flute. She sighed again.

Things just weren't going her way

"What do you think they're talking about?" Fluttershy asked, looking out the windshield of her chariot and into the back window of the one in front, Twilight's head sitting still on the right side while Rarity was nowhere to be seen.

"I dunno. Probably girl stuff." Rainbow Dash responded, keeping her gaze out the window where she watched an occasional snowflake whiz past.

"Girl stuff? You do know we're girls, right?" Fluttershy asked.

"Well, yeah but... They're like girl girls y'know?" Rainbow said, turning her head to look at the two girls, or rather one girl she could see, in the carriage in front of them.

"I like to think I'm a 'girl girl'," Fluttershy mumbled, crossing her arms.

"Well yeah, you're a girl girl... But some of us aren't, y'know..." Rainbow Dash returned her gaze to the window.

"OK... Do you have a problem with girl girls?" Fluttershy verbally prodded the standoffish Rainbow.

"Nah. I love girl girls. I'm all about girl girls. You, Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack... Kind of. They're great!" Rainbow sputtered, waving her hands in front of her. The larger, pink-haired girl couldn't see her friends face as she was staring out the window, but she could tell that her expression was certainly sour. She could see it now, a stern brow crumpled in the middle, a scrunched pair of lips and fiery set of magenta eyes glaring at the rolling landscape and the white wintery weather that whipped past.

Fluttershy bit her lip. Rainbow had been a little bit more hostile ever since she had regained her proper personality and given birth, not to an uncomfortable or abhorrent degree but a degree that made her distant and cold sometimes, especially when she wasn't joined by her little Spectral Bolt. If Fluttershy didn't calm her down this doggy would bite, and no doubt bite hard. But Fluttershy was a good friend, a best friend even, and she knew just how to unravel the little ball of anger that was Rainbow.

A hand gently placed on her shoulder.

Rainbow sighed.

Bring all four fingers together and cup them over the curve of her shoulder blade.

She slumped on the cushions.

Run the thumb along her upper arm.

She looks at the hand, then to Fluttershy.

A slight squeeze to finish it off and...

"Aw man..." Rainbow sighed.

And there it was. Fluttershy smiled at her smooth handiwork and scooted closer to the girl on the couch, all while keeping her hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Was I being a bitch?" Rainbow asked, turning her head to look at her friend. Fluttershy cringed at her friend's use of the swear but answered her anyway.

"Of course not. Something's bugging you and that's fine. Would you like to talk about it?" Fluttershy asked in a voice as smooth as silk.

"Yeah..." Rainbow Dash redirected her vision to the chariots floor. "Do you think I'm a good mo-"

"Yes." Fluttershy answered, cutting Rainbow off in the middle of her sentence.

"You don't know what I was gonna say." Rainbow looked up at her friend and chuckled. Fluttershy wasn't the usual type of person to interrupt a friend or anyone for that matter.

"You were going to ask if I thought you were a good mother and I answered with what I knew. The fact that you are a good mother." Fluttershy explained. "Now what I want to know is why you would doubt yourself..." Rainbow directed her vision back down to the floor. The way she spoke reminded Rainbow of her loving mother scolding her, speaking with a blend of sternness and sincerity.

"It's just... I'm not a mom!" Rainbow blurted, throwing her hands up in a slightly stroppy manner. "I shouldn't be one, I know it! I never even wanted to be one because I knew I wouldn't be good at it. Every one of you guys is a better mom than me, even Pinkie Pie! And she tries to feed her kid taffy for crying out loud! She doesn’t even have most of her teeth yet!" Rainbow shouted, clearly releasing some pent-up anger while she was in the safe space of her friend's company.

"You do know none of that is true? Don't you?" Fluttershy asked her friend. "You are a wonderful mot-"

"No, I'm no-"

"Yes, you are." Fluttershy raised her voice ever so slightly, an effective move for the quiet woman as Rainbow's mouth shut. "How is Spectral Bolt?" Fluttershy continued her crusade on installing Rainbow's confidence.

"She's alright I guess." Rainbow sighed. "Her wings are getting stronger. She can fly about twenty-two centimeters off the ground without aid. She really likes it too, she smiles the most when she's in the air." Rainbow smiled as she imagined her child's future love of flying.

"She's happy?" Fluttershy asked, getting the unaware Rainbow Dash to explain even further.

"Yeah..." Rainbow smiled once again, relaxing on the cushions into a much cooler position with one foot on the couch and the other stretched out on the floor. "I'm pretty sure she spends like 80% of the time smiling, and even when she's crying I can make her stop by just doing some stupid faces. And then she's smiling again."

"So, you are a good mother!" Fluttershy cheered lightly at her friend. "I told you."

"Making her smile doesn't automatically make me a good mom, Fluttershy. My keys can make her smile but I wouldn't trust them to babysit, would I?" Rainbow joked.

"Alright then. What makes you a bad mom?" Fluttershy was persistent, a trait Rainbow half loved and half hated.

"I dunno. I just..." Rainbow brought a hand to her mouth and scratched her chin, thinking about her next sentence. "I couldn't imagine me having a good childhood without both my parents. And that's something she doesn't have."

"What about Spike? He visits her, doesn't he?" Fluttershy offered her counterpoint.

"But we're not together. One reason why my mom and dad were so good was because they were good together. Me and Spike are friends, sure, and he's a cool guy and everything but we just don't click like that." Rainbow did like Spike, but it was certainly true that he wasn't her type, and not just because he was a man. He was too young for a start. Even the twenty-four-year-old Rainbow Dash thought she herself was a little too young for being a parent so the even younger Spike was much too young. That and he still had five other kids to worry about amongst other things, severely limiting his time to take care of the bundle that was Spectral Bolt.

"Well, maybe Spectral Bolt doesn't need two parents." Fluttershy proposed her point, but Rainbow was quick to brush it off.

"Fluttershy..." She began, her neck going slack and resting against the curve of the couch.

"I'm serious Rainbow. When have you ever let a challenge bring you down?" Fluttershy asked, punctuating every word of her last sentence with a poke to Rainbow's chest. Rainbow felt a little bit stirred at Fluttershy's words, mainly because she was right and Rainbow Dash was pretty awesome.

"I guess..." Rainbow Dash smirked. She was playing hard-to-get, mainly just so Fluttershy would say more awesome stuff about her.

"When has Rainbow Dash ever laid down and let something stomp all over her?" Fluttershy was going full pep rally now, and Rainbow was smiling very obviously.

"Never..." She sighed, jokingly, of course, she was secretly loving the verbal pampering.

"And is she a young, independent, Pegasus-Blood who don't need no man?" Fluttershy bopped her head from left to right.

"Yeah." She was chuckling lightly now.

"And is she awesome?" Fluttershy posted her final question.

"You're damn right she is." Rainbow smirked her signature cocky grin at the use of her favorite adjective. "Yeah I am awesome, and you know what? Bolt's fine and it's just been me and her and also Spike, I guess. And she's happy and healthy... Although she is still a little bit pudgy..." Rainbow Dash placed her fist on her chin in thought.

"That's fine, Rainbow. You're doing great with her." Fluttershy turned her lips up, producing a warm and reassuring smile to the slightly stressed woman. While the bearing of Fluttershy's pearly whites was reassuring, Rainbow's attention was drawn to a small niggling sensation wiggling in the back of her mind like a dying leech. Although she shook the bothersome feeling from her mind, reminding herself that it was probably just stress and something to be dealt with later.

"Thanks, Fluttershy. You're a real good girl, y'know that?" Rainbow threw a playful punch at Fluttershy's sweater-clad shoulder. "Spike is a lucky man to have you, and I'm not just talking about playing with those puppies." Rainbow Dash stifled a laugh as she pointed at Fluttershy's large slabs of sweatermeat.

"Rainbow!" Fluttershy gasped, her pale face filling with a crimson hue at her friend's lewd suggestion. "That's very rude!"

"Aww, you know I'm just messing with you. Although not how Spike must be messing with you..." Rainbow teased once again with a wry smile.

"What do you mean?" Fluttershy asked with a crimp in her brow.

"Like messing around with those knockers!" Rainbow snorted, her immature smile spreading once again.

"Oh, very funny, Rainbow Dash. That's not very nice, you know." Fluttershy huffed and crossed her arms tightly.

"Oh, come on Fluttershy, it's just a joke." Rainbow placed a hand on her friend's shoulder and rubbed quickly, attempting to reassure her friend that all her jokes were, in fact, just jokes. Fluttershy knew that all of Rainbow's jokes weren't designed to offend her, she still wasn't best pleased with her friend's crass references to her larger-than-average breasts.

"Well, some people are quite sensitive about... Those things." Fluttershy's stern sentence trailed off into a squeaking mumble.

"About sex?" Rainbow asked, making the flustered Fluttershy even more flustered.

"Y-Y-Ye-Yes a-about... That." Fluttershy stuttered, twiddling her fingers clumsily as she looked away from Rainbow Dash.

"Oh c’mon, Fluttershy. You can say it." Rainbow rolled her eyes at her friend's prudishness. Although it was to be expected, she was very timid and, of course, shy, so the tip-toeing around certain words wasn't all that surprising. "Why don't you want to say it?"

"Somethings are just embarrassing for some people. And that thing is just very embarrassing for me." Fluttershy pouted, keeping her arms tightly folded.

"How can you say sex is embarrassing to talk about? Do you remember a year ago? Just how much fucking you did?" You were like a Goddess of Bang, Fluttershy." Rainbow Dash clasped her hands together as if she was praying, hammering her point a bit further.

"Well, I'm not anymore." Fluttershy turned away from her praying friend and stared out the window, noticing that the weather had gotten somewhat more powerful as they talked. Now she could spy some pure sheets of virgin white snow splayed across the ground and frost had begun creeping around the edges of the window.

"C'mon. Let's just talk about it." Rainbow offered some conversation, but Fluttershy was not open to it in the slightest. The larger woman felt a small wave travel through soft pillows of the static couch which she knew was Rainbow pulling her legs onto the couch so she could stare at the back of her head. But Fluttershy, being the strong-willed woman she was, refused to turn to look at her and instead maintained a gaze out of the window. "Fluttershy~" Rainbow Dash sang, trying to entice the unyielding woman to look at her at least.

Rainbow Dash sighed and cocked her head to the side with an eyebrow raised. Her friend was being more stubborn than a Mule-Blood right now and she was determined to get her to crack. Because she was her friend of course.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. Fluttershy had been a little bit shier ever since she regained her proper personality and given birth, not to a severely limiting or problematic degree but a degree that made her difficult to talk to in some instances, especially when she wasn't with her little Songbird. If Rainbow didn't sooth her mind this birdie would fly, and no doubt, fly far. But Rainbow Dash was a good friend, a best friend even, and she knew how to soothe the delicate wallflower that was Fluttershy.

A hand placed reassuringly on the shoulder.

Fluttershy's head turned quickly.

"Oh, Rainbow..." Fluttershy huffed.

Easy. Rainbow smiled to herself as her soothsaying set into the slowly turning Fluttershy, all while keeping a firm hand on her friend's shoulder as she hugged her knees to her bosom and rested her pumps on the velvet couch.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked, hiding half her face behind a pair of tightly crossed arms perched atop her kneecaps.

"Alright. Let's start off with an easy one." Rainbow got comfortable in her seat, hoping Fluttershy would follow her example and do the same. "When was the last time you had sex?"

"Well... At the monthly... 'Get together'." Fluttershy referenced their friends monthly 'Bangfest', to which Rainbow shook her head.

"I mean, when was the last time you and Spike had sex? Just you and him. Without any of that bimbo stuff." Rainbow rephrased her question and Fluttershy turned her head to the side.

"Six months ago, I think." Fluttershy mumbled as she turned her head back to a shocked Rainbow.

"Six months?!" Rainbow exclaimed. Fluttershy mentally flinched at Rainbow's assertion of surprise. The prism-haired woman noticed this and sat back, reminding herself not to be so alienating to her sensitive friend. "No, sorry. That's fine. Ok, what was it like? And don't skimp on the details. I want to hear about every... Last... Drop..." Fluttershy cringed at the imagery her friend laid on her but took a deep breath anyway.

"Ok... I think it was late at night, so Songbird would be fast asleep." Fluttershy closed her eyes to recall the events of the night better. "I was just coming out of the shower and drying my hair when Spike snuck up behind me and grabbed my arms. He was strong and held me in place but I still felt safe, he does that well."

"Ok..." Rainbow nodded, although Fluttershy couldn't see.

"He started kissing my shoulders and neck gently and slowly and then moved down to my wings. He began massaging and kissing the bases of my wings and I started fidgeting because he knows I'm very sensitive there. At that point, I knew we were going to have... Sex." She meeped the last part.

"And you were ok with that?" Rainbow Dash asked. Fluttershy's shy exterior was hard to crack and made her deeper emotions very unclear so a verbal inquisition was often needed to get to the bottom of her. She nodded in response and Rainbow nodded back.

"I was having a stressful day... Songbird was being very ornery because the store ran out of her favorite baby food and the foxes and the ferrets were fighting again and were being very stubborn... Spike knows when I'm stressed out... I guess it's from helping out Twilight and Rarity so much but he knows just what to do. He keeps massaging me for a couple of minutes and I tell him that we can 'do it' tonight... If he wants of course." Fluttershy recalled the events while Rainbow nodded.

"So, you... Initiated the sex?" Rainbow asked, genuinely a little surprised. Given Spike's fondness for sex, she thought he would have swept her off her feet and thrown her on the bed like a caveman.

"I did... I think I always do. I know he wants it but he never asks for it. I suppose he's just very respectful." Fluttershy lamented before closing her eyes again and letting her mind think back. "He slips the towel I was wearing off my body and slips his hands underneath my... Boobs..." Fluttershy pulled an eyelid open and looked at Rainbow Dash, her lone eye asking if the use of the word was acceptable. Rainbow nodded and Fluttershy closed her eye again. "He starts playing with my... Nipples... Until they're hard and his other hands starts rubbing just above my..." Fluttershy took a breath. "Vagina." She took another breath. "He's naked at this point... I can feel his..." Another breath. "Penis." Followed by another breath.

"Take your time..." Rainbow measured while still trying to let Fluttershy do her own thing.

"After a while, he led me to bed, I put the... Condom on him, we got under the covers and had sex... We had sex in the missionary position... I had two orgasms because of it. He didn't have an orgasm... He lasted too long and I got sore." Fluttershy nodded, finally finishing her story.

"Did you like it?" Rainbow further spurred her on.

"Yes." She nodded, opening her eyes to see a happy Rainbow Dash staring back at her.

"There! That wasn't so hard, was it?" Rainbow asked, rubbing her friend's shoulder and congratulating her.

"Yes it was." Fluttershy responded.

"Ok... But you feel better talking about sex, right?" Rainbow tried to salvage the exercise.

"A little bit." Fluttershy admitted, still keeping her face hidden behind her arms.

"That's the spirit! Sometimes it's about small steps, y'know. Just little bits here and there to accomplish your goal." Rainbow knew accomplishing goals and knew that little bits here and there was the way a more introverted character like Fluttershy needed, instead of some full laid out masterplan.

"So, what's my next step?" The slightly cautions Fluttershy asked.

"Communication." Rainbow stated, holding a finger at Fluttershy to drive her point home. "You've got to talk about sex with Spike." Rainbow Dash knew it sounded like some cliché advice that could be picked up from any sappy relationship forum on the internet, but it was cliché because it was true and it worked.

"Ok... Talk to him about sex... How?" She asked, clearly naive.

"Just whatever. What you like, what he likes, what you guys would like to do together, how you can make things more comfortable. Stuff like that." Rainbow explained. "But remember, small steps."

"Small steps." Fluttershy nodded.

"Small steps." Rainbow reassured her.

"What do you think they're talking 'bout?" Applejack turned her head to look at her pink-haired companion seated within the chariot. She nodded over to the window, signalling to the two Pegasus-Bloods sitting and looking at each other head-on in the visible chariot.

"I think... Their talking about Rainbow's insecurities about the responsibilities of being a mother at her age and Fluttershy's uncomfortable relationship with sexual intercourse... Or they're talking about their favorite flavor of pie." Pinkie Pie placed a hand on her chin and stroked a very large and very imaginary beard. "I'd be talking about the pie..."

Applejack, who had previously been staring at the woman began snicker quietly, a snicker which turned into a full-blown belly laugh, complete with a hearty knee-slap. As the farmer keeled over and grabbed her belly, Pinkie Pie herself began to snicker, not at what she had said, like her friend, but just at the fact that Applejack was laughing so happily. Pinkie loved hearing her friend's laugh, especially Applejack's very loud and unadulterated guffaw. Littered with snorts and thunderous chuckles, Pinkie imagined Applejack's laugh was what a Wildebeest would sound like if it could laugh, and Pinkie Pie absolutely loved hearing it whenever she cracked a joke. She loved Rainbow Dash's sneering snicker and Fluttershy's girly giggle, of course, but the power that came from Applejack's laugh was something she could feed off like a sugary snack, reinvigorating her so she could crack off even more jokes.

The two of them were laughing in unison now, Pinkie Pie giggling to herself as Applejack's howling died down to a breathless chuckle as she wiped a small tear away from her eye.

"Hoo! You're really somethin' special, y'know that Pinkie?" Applejack snickers, slapping Pinkie's shoulder.

"I've been told! But it sounds so much nicer when my bestie friends say it!" The young woman sang with a grin. Applejack spoke the truth. Many people had complimented the ever-so-energetic Pinkie Pie on her uncanny ability to bring out the smiles in all her friends. She was practically a magnet for praise, even thinking about some of the kind words friends and strangers had thrown her way made her beam. Why she could just list them off she was that happy:

"You're just so positive!"

A classic in Pinkie's eyes. She practically heard it every day of her life.

"So full of energy!"

She prided herself on her electric personality.

"Like, so funny!"

And her quick wit.

"Prettiest smile I've ever seen."

She took good care of her gnashers, after all, she does display them all the time.

"A body to kill for."

Of course, there were people who were into more than just her personality.

"Damn baby, you got a fat ass!"

Some were into a lot more than her personality.

"You got some killer knockers, mama! Why don't you come over here and shake those big titties for me, huh?"

A lot more.

"Wow. She could suck a bowling ball through a garden hose!"

"Hmm." Pinkie slumped her body, arching her back and staring down at the ground as her mind wandered. She wondered to herself, her usually extroverted mind introverting like a turtle as she thought inside her own head. Applejack, noticing her usually cheery friend was frowning, something that looked very unnatural on her.

"Y'alright Pinkie?" Applejack placed a palm on her friends resting hand. She did not like seeing a frown on her friends face one bit and was avid on switching it with her usual smile.

"Huh? Oh, yeah! Of course!" Pinkie smiled an empty smile. Applejack could tell, her honest nature making her keen on when someone was lying to her face, even if it was just a smile. And Pinkie was particularly easy to read.

"You sure about that?" Applejack cocked an eyebrow high, a mere flex of facial muscle more powerful than any interrogation technique.

"Noooo..." Pinkie sunk in her seat, sliding down until her chin and sternum were touching and she was barely hanging on the couch. Applejack, who was still set on eliminating the frown on Pinkie's mug, slid closer on the couch and hooked her fingers underneath Pinkie Pie's shoulders and hoisted her upright on the couch, much like a mother would to her child.

"What's the conundrum?" Applejack leant in and asked the fluffy-haired sulk.

"I'm not fun anymore." Pinkie huffed in response and began to sink down on the couch again, only to be pulled back up by Applejack's strong hands.

"Now, why would you say something like that? You're the funnest girl I know." Applejack wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulders, comforting her while also keeping her suspended.

"I know that Applejack! I know I'm fun. Super fun!" She perked up merely at the mention of her not being fun but then drooped again in her friend's arm. "I'm just not super duper fun anymore."

"Anymore..." Applejack muttered the word, juggling it on her tongue until she came to a realization. "Wait a minute. Are you talkin' about when we were all floozies n' whatnot?"

"Uh-huh." Pinkie's lips hung while her head nodded.

"And you think you were funner back then?" Applejack asked, wanting to get to the bottom of this conundrum. As far as Applejack was concerned, the only good thing that came from that period of her life was her son, her boyfriend and some pretty great sex with her friends. Everything else could drop out of her mind and she would be all the happier about it, especially some encounters with her siblings which still made her skin crawl whenever she thought about it.

"Of course I was. I was making soooo many people happy Applejack. I saw so many smiles from all sorts of different folk. But now..." She slumped on the couch. "Well, I still see a lot of smiles." She perked up once again. “But not as many as I used to..." Pinkie sulked once again, Applejack watching the fluffy-haired bipolar shimmy in her seat.

"What do you mean? How were you making more people smile when you were all loose?" Applejack asked, her hand still on Pinkie's shoulder in a tight embrace as she laid her stern yet caring words on the girl.

"I used to make more people happy, not just with my mind but my body as well." Pinkie turned her head to Applejack and curled her bottom lip down in a wet and shaky pout. "When someone would pinch my butt while I was working at Sugarcube Corner, and I would turn around and see him smile at me, it would make my day that much better. Or when I would wink at a guy while I was blowing him, I could make his eyes roll back and it would make me so much wetter. Or when I did that thing with my fingers that made a girl’s toe's curl, it made me feel warm on the inside like I planned them a mega party with a four-tier cake and they danced through the whole night!" Pinkie explained to the somewhat confused Applejack.

She didn't expect the farmgirl to understand her way of thinking, they were different people after all. Pinkie's love for pleasing people was difficult to 'get' if you weren't in the same mindset as she was. She saw it as her calling in life, she had a natural ability to pull facial muscles into a silly smile with a well-planned party, cheeky joke, foolish slapstick or an erotic adventure. However, after the birth of her Sweet Pea and the normal Pinkie Pie taking the reins she had lost an entire way to spread happiness to people.

"But doesn't that make you feel, I dunno... Weird? All those guys and gals taking advantage of your body?" Applejack asked to which Pinkie sighed. Pinkie cursed herself inwardly, she never was good at explaining her emotions clearly and concisely, even to her friends. She usually let all her emotions bubble into a freakout every now and then. Pinkie placed her hands on her lap, one on top of the other, looked down at her layered palms and sighed to herself. Applejack, recognizing that a friend was in need for some emotional support, tightened her arm around her fellow Earth-Blood's shoulder and held her tightly. "I'm sorry Sugarcube. Just ignore me. I'm just being an ol' fuddy-duddy. Just... explain to me what you really mean, talk how you need to talk, sugar." Pinkie smiled at her hands and looked up to her friend.

"Thank you, Jackie." Pinkie beamed at her friend, even breaking out a cute nickname for the girl. The fuzzy-haired girl relaxed in her friend's comfortable grip, she never did like feeling tense at any moment, something she had learned to avoid from Granny Pie's wise words. With such a hyperactive mind, sometimes she needed to be reminded she was still human, luckily her friends were always there to keep her tethered. "It's not a problem. The whole, y'know, sex thing. I never let anyone take advantage of my body, I was always in control of these curves, trust me! And don't pretend I haven't had people try to take advantage of me. The key word there being 'try'." She winked at her friend. Pinkie knew full well that just because she was a little bit duller and a lot hornier as a bimbo, that doesn't mean she couldn't stand up for herself and kick off any creeps who tried to hurt her in any way, something she had done many times.

"That's the Pinkie I know." Applejack comforted her pal with a pat on her shoulder.

"Yep. No creeps are getting a slice of this ass unless they want a slice of ass-kick pie to go with it! Hehehehe!" Pinkie covered her mouth as she and Applejack giggled. "But those lucky boys who do get a juicy slice, they still aren't in charge of me, nuh-uh. The only person in charge of me is me." Her voice deepened near the end of her sentence and she began to bob her head from side-to-side, releasing a large helping of her natural sass.

"Preach it, sister." Applejack lifted a clenched fist into the air and laughed.

"Mm-hmm." Pinkie pursed her lips and jolted her head with a loud snap of her thumb and forefinger. "I'm in control of every situation I'm in, especially when it comes to hanky-panky. Even when I'm surrounded by... Fellas, I know that I'm one hundred percento in controllo!"

"Alright Pinks..." Applejack plucked her hat from her head and ran a finger-comb through her blonde hair before dropping her leather stetson back onto her head. "Just explain one thing to me, don't it make you feel a little dirty on the inside. When you did all that stuff with all those other guys? I know darn well it made my stomach do a few somersaults when I think back to my more... Loose moments."

"I know what you mean Jackie. But not everyone has the same feelings towards it as you do." Pinkie hugged her legs close to her chest and swiveled toward Applejack, getting ready to further explain her reasoning. "For example, your little Pinkie Pie likes it very much. Because, and here me out on this one, it's not about the shame involved. I don't get off on being degraded by the guys, not at all! It's a cooperative effort between two or more friends. Now let me break it down for you." Pinkie leaned in closer, causing Applejack to mimic her actions, both the girls close now as if they were a pair of schoolgirls sharing secrets. "Let's say I do something for a guy that makes them happy..." Pinkie's voice lowered, her words delving into a seductive whisper.

She lifted her hand, holding it between her and Applejack's body and extending her middle finger. She placed the tip of her digit on her extended tongue, letting the painted nail rest in the wet groove of the broad, fleshy mass. Pinkie enclosed her lips around the fingers and caved her cheeks in, sucking on the finger with a few choice moans and slurps thrown into really emphasize her faux-blowjob. Applejack blushed as she watched Pinkie suck her digit as if she had spilled some sugary syrup on her hand and was cleaning herself. Suddenly, the finger was plucked from the lips with a moist pop sounding off.

"And that makes him very, very, very, very, very happy." Pinkie said, a smile sprouting on her face and growing with each utterance of the word. "And he gets a big ol' smile right on his chops, and y'know what that does to me?" She asked Applejack, who's cheeks were still glowing.

"What?" She asked, close enough to feel Pinkie's candy-scented breath in her nose.

"It makes me very, very, very, very, very, very happy. It makes me feel all tingly everywhere on my body, from the hairs on my heads to the tips of my toesies. It's like I'm having an 'O', and I don't even have to touch myself at all!" Pinkie chirped, bouncing up in her seat with an exuberant smile on her face.

"And it's not because you're one of them people that get off on being degraded?" Applejack was obviously quite curious about her friend's process, luckily Pinkie was more than happy to help her understand.

"Nope, I am not. Well, not unless the guy or gal I'm with gets off on degrading me, then I'm happy to do it. It's about making people smile!" She responded.

"So... Making them 'smile'..." Applejack flexed her fingers in a quick air-quote. "Makes you 'smile', right?" Applejack asked, finally getting some clue to Pinkie's reasoning.

"Yes... And by 'smile' I mean 'cum'." Pinkie nodded.

"I got that, Pinkie." Applejack rested her face in her palm as Pinkie smiled somewhat innocently, resting herself into an easy crossed-legged position. "Alright. I understand that you like making other folks happy any way you can. But don't you make Spike 'smile'? And, y'know' all of the girls every month?"

"You mean at the Bangfest?" Pinkie asked, eyes beaming at her friend.

"Uhh. I hate that name." Applejack shook her head. Of course, the regular 'Bimbo Bangfests' were still a monthly occurrence between the social circle, a chance to let their hair down and enjoy a few hours of carnal need amongst close friends, an act that helped them destress after long days of juggling work and their newly formed families. Also, with a veritable smorgasbord of potential mates including the Elements of Harmony, Spike, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, the Princesses of Equestria, and occasionally some specials guests as well, it was all damn fun as well, even to someone like Applejack who despised her sordid past. "But whatever. You make us 'smile' all the time there." Applejack gently slapped Pinkie's shoulder with the back of her hand.

"But AJ. You know I can't just make some friends. I've got to make all the friends. Otherwise, my name isn't Pinkamena Diane Pie, Hunter or Elk, Lover of Women, Sovereign of the Moon! If I don't at least try to make everyone ever 'smile' then what am I?" Pinkie asked her concerned friend, to which she had no real answer. "As much as I love you and the girls I can't just keep myself coming for your girls or Spike for 'smiles'. When I was all young, dumb and full of cum I could make soooo many people 'smile' allll the time." Pinkie pouted and plopped her head down on her palm.

"Well... Why can't you make people 'smile' anyway?" Applejack kept goading the girl with questions.

"With Sweet Pea to deal with. That girl is like someone cut off a little piece of me, grew it into a baby and trained it to take up every second of my life. I've barely got the time to bake anymore, let alone go around and give up the goods to everyone who's interested!" Pinkie huffed. "She is cute as a gosh darn button though." She hissed through clenched teeth.

"Well then what are you going to do about it?" Applejack asked the question, and the usually quick-tongued Pinkie Pie failed to respond. Instead, she sat there, her chin firmly resting on the balls of her hand as her eyes stared out the window.

For the first time in a long while she was speechless, not even a joke to crack about the current situation, just a pair of clenched lips, squinting eyes, and a thinking brain. The wind whipped past the glass plane, bringing many snowflakes with it which Pinkie studied with her eyes as they traveled at lashing speeds, her pupils darting as they disappeared past the window. As her eyes darted, so did her mind, trying to figure out the question that danced on her mind.

Well then what are you going to do about it?

The question bounced around her skull, trying to find a suitable answer but proving unsuccessful in its effort. Pinkie was never a big fan of questions, she was always more of a statement sort of girl, big and bold statements to be exact, not the niggling little questions that so many people asked, demanding their own answers. She 'hmmph-ed' a mighty 'hmmph-ed' as she stared out the window. She couldn't figure this one out for the life of her, every solution she could think of was either improbable to achieve or just plain silly.

Travel the lands, appeasing the ladies and gentlemen of Equestria with her body like some kind of bang-gypsy?

Quit her job at the bakery and start a prostituting business to pay the bills?

Ask Princess Celestia if she could ascend into Alicornhood and become the Princess of Sex and use her powers to spread 'smiles' to all her subjects across the world?

All were a bit too much, even for Pinkie's standards. But she remembered that she had one thing that could always help her in any situation, something by her side that could solve any problem she faced. A shining testimony to hope in any dark place she was in.

She turned to Applejack, a warm and reassuring grin spreading across her face, framed perfectly by her triad of freckles peaked on her tanned cheeks. The smile instantly brightened Pinkie's sour mood into a much sweeter one.

A friend.

"What should I do about it, AJ?" Pinkie asked her friend, a genuine question that, by Applejack's somewhat surprised expression, she wasn't prepared for.

"Well... No offense Pinkie but I can't really make your decisions for you. I can tell you what I would do if I was in your shoes." Applejack placed a firm grip on the girl's shoulder. Pinkie didn't frown at her friend, instead, she smiled and nodded intently, wanting to hear what her friends had to say. "Well, if I were you, I would settle." Pinkie turned her head to the side, much like a dog would. It wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear right now, but she was willing to hear her friend's thoughts. "Not settle but... Do what you can, not what you want... Wait no that doesn't sound good neither..."

"No, no, no, I know just what you mean. You can't please everyone, right? But you can at least try!" Pinkie giggled.

"Exactly!" Applejack pointed her finger. "That's how you want to think, y'see. Just let the 'smiles' take a backseat to the other smiles."

"Do what I can..." Pinkie repeated half of the Applejack's impromptu mantra.

"Not what you want." Applejack finished. "Although if you can think of a better saying, please go by that instead. If you need advice about Applebucking then, by all means, come to me." Applejack chuckled, to which Pinkie giggled quite girlishly.

"And if you need advice on filling cream eclairs, you can always come to me!" She responded. As they giggled a spark flew off in Pinkie's head. An idea on how to help a friend who had helped her not moments ago. A chance to return the favor like any good friend would. "Do you need help!?" She blurted, startling the Applejack and ending her throaty chuckle with a bewildered stare.

"Uhh, what?" Applejack asked in her flinched state, keeping a stair on the crossed-legged girl.

"Do you need help with anything, huh? Advice? Guidance? Some minor therapy? Any other kind of friendship helpage?" She pestered, much calmer this time. Applejack still stared quite anxiously but relaxed her body and chuckled at Pinkie's peculiarity.

"Nope." She responded, much to Pinkie's skepticism.

"Nope?" She asked.

"Hmm, Nah." Applejack responded.

"Not a problem?" Pinkie asked again.

"Don't think so." Applejack shot back.

"Totally perfect?" Pinkie badgered.

"If I do say so myself." Applejack smirked.

"So, there's not one problem going on in your life?" Pinkie leaned back, defeated.

"Nothing major I guess. Friend's are good, family's good, farm's good. Not much more to say, really." Applejack reclined, thinking of every avenue in her life and any bumps that were present within them. Pinkie didn't want to believe her, she wanted Applejack to spill her emotional beans so she could help patch her problems up, but she could tell when Applejack was withholding information and she definitely wasn't lying. And it was much too early to start torture.

"Absolutely nothing?" She asked once again.

"Well..." Applejack groaned.

"Aha!" Pinkie exclaimed and jumped up on the couch, her white sneakers bouncing on the sofa. Applejack, once again startled at Pinkie's explosion, flinched at her friend's unexpected outburst. "I knew you were hiding something, missy! I was this close to pulling out molars!" Pinkie held her thumb and forefinger millimeters apart while brandishing a pair of rusty pliers with the other. "Now unless you want to lose those pretty, little chompers I'd tell me everything I want to hear, capiche?" Pinkie closed in the rusty jaws of the tool near her friend's mouth.

"Okay..." Applejack nodded while also backing away. Pinkie Pie squinted and slipped the pliers into the back of her neon leggings. "I was just thinking about Spike." Applejack returned to her resting state, happy that Pinkie's weapon was stowed.

"I know, ain't he dreamyyyyyyyyy~" Pinkie jumped, repositioned herself mid-air and landed on her belly with a flop of the cushions. Her legs kicked vertically in the air and she rested her head in her hands, her elbows propping her up so she could look at Applejack with, of course, a smile. Now she was in her 'Boy-Talkin' pose', she commenced to talk about boys. "Sooooo~ What's he like in the sack?" Pinkie asked with a raised brow.

"Pinkie, you know full well what he's like in the sack." Applejack shook her head and smirked.

"Oh yeah... I guess I do." Pinkie pursed her lips and pulled her head back. "Anyway, what's the problem this time?" Pinkie Pie asked, reliving her teenage sleepover days.

"Nothing's wrong with him." Applejack turned her face away from the inquisitive Pie on her left. "It's something wrong with me."

"Oh, my goodness, Applejack! Do not tell me he got you pregnant!" Pinkie slapped both her cheeks and formed a large 'O' with her mouth. "How are you going to have a baby at such a young age you poor, young wo- Oh wait..." She tapped her chin with a pink-painted finger. "Never mind." Pinkie waved her comment off as Applejack scowled at her.

"Anyway." Applejack moved the conversation on. "It's not really anything wrong. It's just..." She turned again, a light blush of blood dusting her cheeks. "I think I'm really falling for him." She giggled a particularly girly giggle. Applejack cursed her own mouth for releasing the fluttering laugh, but she knew she couldn't help herself when confessing her crush. From a sharp and very long intake of breath coming from her left, Applejack knew exactly what she was going to see when she turned her head. Pinkie Pie would have her cheeks puffed out like balloons, her face would be a vibrant shade of crimson red, and she would be shaking violently like a firework waiting to go off. Sighing, she swiveled her neck.

Cheeks puffed? Check.

Red face? Check.

Violent shakes? Check.

Before this cherry bomb could pop, Applejack wanted to make something very clear.

"It isn't a big deal." Applejack stated, unknowingly activating the early detonation on the painted pink brick of C4.

"OMC IT'S LIKE THE BIGGEST DEAL EVER HOW CAN YOU NOT SAY ITS A BIG DEAL THIS IS THE BIGGEST DEAL IN THE HISTORY OF DEALS MAYBE EVER BECAUSE YOU WERE ALWAYS WANTING TO SEX HIM UP WHEN YOU HAD THE KILLER DONK BUT THEN AFTER WHEN YOU HAD THE BABY AND THE NOT AS KILLER DONK BUT STILL A PRETTY FINE DONK YOU WERE GOING OUT WITH HIM BUT THAT'S NOT REALLY CUZ YOU LIKE HIM BUT BECAUSE YOU WERE GOING ALL TRADITIONAL BUT NOW YOU ACTUALLY DO LIKE HIM THAT'S LIKE THE BIGGEST DEAL EVE-" Before Pinkie could finish her very long and very loud sentence, Applejack trapped her flapping lips between a pair of fingers and held them there, scowling at the previously rambling girl.

"I'm going to repeat myself... It is not a big deal." Applejack spoke slowly to her friend, her lips still trapped betwixt her firm fingers. "Did you get that?" Applejack asked Pinkie Pie nodded. "Now I'm gonna let go of your lips and I do not want to hear that it is a big deal, because it is not, ok?" She nodded again, a begging sheen in her eyes. With her confirmation, Applejack separated her fingers and freed Pinkie's lips.

Surprisingly, the hyperactive woman didn't say a word after her usually running chops were let loose, instead, she just rubbed her slightly sore pink lips and pouted. Applejack grimaced and sighed as she watched her friend pout.

"I'm sorry Pinkie. It's just, y'know I don't like making mountains outta molehills n' whatnot. And I just wanna keep this on the down-low." Applejack explained, turning to her friend and flashing a kind and kindling look.

"Don't you worry about a thing AJ. From now on my lips are sealed up!" Pinkie clenched an invisible metal tab at the corner of her mouth and pulled it to the other side, closing her lips as her hand traveled and somehow produced a metallic zipping sound along with it.

"Well thank you kindly Pinkie Pie. That means a lot to me." Applejack patted her friend on the shoulder and smiled. It was hard for her to talk about such alien feelings of love and stomach butterflies so it was nice to place some trust in a fellow Earth-Blood, especially a best friend like Pinkie Pie.

"Hoh them hm hemheh heh." Pinkie seemingly asked through her zipped lips.

"What?" Applejack asked, very clearly not understanding the muffled mumble that came out (or rather, did not come out) of Pinkie's mouth.

"Hmi hmh, hoh hemh hm hemheh heh." Pinkie repeated herself.

"Pinkie you can open your lips." Applejack sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose at her friend's lovable ignorance.

"Oh, thank Celestia I thought I was never gonna speak again!" Pinkie Pie gasped and hugged her friend in a tight, loving grip. Applejack rolled her eyes and patted her friend square on the back before she pulled away. "So, tell me about it! When did your first realize you were in love? Did you realize during a romantic rendezvous when you felt like you could stare into his eyes for days? Do you play out the confession of your undying love to him every second in your head? Have you stayed up all night fantasizing about you and him making sweet, passionate love in the silver moonlight? Your bodies and souls melding into one beast as you reached a physical and emotional climax you had never experienced before? Feeling like his loving embrace has been the one thing you've been missing all your life and wishing your bodies will never be separated ever again."

"No..." Applejack gave Pie the side-eye at her long, very detailed and strangely poetic questions.

"Oh..." Pinkie pouted and looked at the ceiling, thinking to herself. "Well then what do you feel when you think of him?"

"Butterflies, I guess." Applejack looked out the window at the harsh wintery winds thrashing past and the drops of snow licking at the frosty windows and felt her lips curl ever so slightly. She was thinking about him again, the light feeling filling her torso as she smiled to herself. She imagined him in her mind, that cute boyish smirk he does when he runs his fingers through his hair. She giggled that damned girly giggle once again. "I just... Feel warm around him."

"So, you have a crush on him?" Pinkie asked.

"No, I don't have a crush on him." Applejack scoffed at the idea. That would be impossible, she couldn't have a crush on Spike after she had been so 'intimate' with him on many separate occasions. The very idea was preposterous.

"Sounds like you have a crush on him." Pinkie cocked her eyebrow and smirked. Applejack stared back at the smug Pinkie and scoffed again.

"Pinkie I can't have a crush on my boyfriend. That's just... Silly." Applejack rolled her eyes at the thought.

"You sure?" Pinkie shot back.

"Positive." Applejack folded her arms and nodded.

"Hmm..." Pinkie stroked her chin. Applejack kept her arms crossed, rather confident that she was correct in her own relationship knowledge. "So, you feel butterflies in your belly whenever you're around him?"

"Yes." Applejack closed her eyes and nodded in response. That wasn't any sign of a crush, however, nothing wrong with a bit of nervousness with her newly blossoming feelings.

"And you can't wait 'till you see him again?" Pinkie Pie asked. Applejack opened her eyes in response to that. That was true, very true. Applejack turned her head to Pinkie Pie and squinted. She could recall the type of light and fuzzy feeling that she felt whenever she saw him around a corner or stroll down the Sweet Apple Acres dirt road.

"Yeah..." Applejack spoke her word slowly.

"And you overthink what you're going to say whenever you talk to him?" Pinkie Pie asked again. Applejack pointed at Pinkie and opened her mouth but clenched her hand and jaw before she could say a word. Applejack didn't want to admit it but her friend was one-hundred percent correct again and she was quite weirded out that she once again knew what was happening in her own mind. She was very considerate with her words whenever she was around Spike, just trying to keep him interested in what she had to say. She even tried to incorporate some 'fancy words' in her chats with him, he was a bit of an intellectual after all. Although she did end up fumbling over the longer ones out of nervousness, a fact that she often beat herself up about when he left.

"Mm-hmm..." Applejack nodded slowly.

"And you get jealous whenever he hangs out with me or Fluttershy, right?" Pinkie explained Applejack's behavior perfectly once again. The blonde girl's eyes shot open wide as Pinkie's seemingly gypsy magic delved into her head and predicted her emotions. It was true, the down-to-earth Applejack had been getting swelling feelings of envy towards Spike's other girlfriends and her best friends. Whenever she saw Fluttershy hold Spike's hand it was clenched teeth and unkind mutters, or when Pinkie wrapped her arms around his abs in public she couldn't help but flash the dead eye and seethe ever-so-slightly. She knew it was a terrible thing to do or even think, especially when she was watching her friends be happy, but she couldn't help feeling just a little bit jealous whenever she saw him spend time with the other girls. It was strange for the young woman, she would never consider herself to be bitchy in any kind of way, but somehow that loveable dork brought out the worst in her.

"Alright, how did you know that?" Applejack was ready to grill Pinkie to see if she was rifling through her diary when the girl practically burst.

"It's because you have a crush on him you doofus!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air in a wide circle. "It's so super obvious, gosh! Have you never had a crush before?"

"No... Well not like this." Applejack craned her head down. "It's weird. I've liked people because they're hot or cute, when I was a teenager... But that was just because of their looks... But I like Spike because he's... Spike, y'know." She smiled just thinking about him again. Not his body but his face, from the side. She imagined them sitting on the barn roof at night, the moon sitting low in the sky just behind his head so his lips were silhouetted like an eclipse. She sighed as her imagination wandered before Pinkie Pie pulled her back into the real world.

"That's what a crush is, you goon." Pinkie rolled her eyes.

"Yeah?" Applejack asked.

"Uh-huh!" Pinkie confirmed with a rapid nod of her head.

"But he's my boyfriend." Applejack pointed out. "How can you have a crush on your boyfriend?"

"Well, why not?" Pinkie pondered the question, a question which Applejack mulled over. "Hey, you weren't really too interested in Spike, right?"

"Yeah... Yeah." Applejack began stroking her long blonde hair as she thought, wrapping her fingers around the band of strands and running her hand over the thick rope as she thought. "I mean, I just did it so Apple Crisp would have a mom and a dad who were together, like mine were."

"So, you weren't really his girlfriend but you still acted like you were. That seems like a pretty good basis for a crush to me." Pinkie smirked as she rolled out her relationship advice.

"I guess so..." Applejack pouted ever so slightly. She could definitely see how her feelings had formed after spending so much time by his side, talking to him, rearing their shared child. It made sense that she would eventually forge a fondness for the young man.

"Then yeah, it's totally normal to be crushing on him." Pinkie nodded. "I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner in all honesty."

"Huh..." Applejack slumped in her chair. She looked depressed. She wasn't depressed one bit but for some reason, her body represented feelings of apathy and drowsiness. She put a slant on her clenched jaw as her mind once again wondered, wondered how could she confront her feelings in an uncomplicated manner. How could she break the news of her love to someone that already thought she loved them, it was a tricky question for sure. Although how much did Spike know? Applejack rested her cheek on a clenched fist as she fell further into overthinking. She wondered if Spike did know, he was smart after all and the signals Applejack had sent weren't exactly the warmest of emotions usually shared between lovers. She was often cold when they got intimate during the early stages of their relationship, more often than not shooting down any sexual advances to the point where Spike didn't even try anymore, much to current Applejack's disdain.

"What's wrong Jackie?" Pinkie pressed her cheek against Applejack's and stared forward with her friend. Applejack darted her eyes to her literally close friend and chuckled at her kookiness.

"It's nothing Pinkie. It's not- Actually." Applejack rose in her seat, as did Pinkie Pie. "You're good with relationships, right? Like with people?"

"With people? Yup! Animals? That's more Fluttershy's thing." Pinkie nodded.

"Well... How would you tell Spike about my feelings...? If you were me?" She needed guidance, even if she was a little hesitant to admit it. Pinkie 'hmmped', no doubt comically scrunching her face in thought.

"Why don't you just tell him?" She posed the simplest of questions.

"Just tell him?" Applejack repeated.

"Yeah, totally! It's super simple." Pinkie perked. She jerked away and grabbed Applejack by the shoulders. She shifted her friend's body so they were both facing one another. "You just need to sit him down." She crossed Applejack's legs with her own hands and then folded her own limbs on the sofa. "Look him in the eye." Pinkie grabbed her friend's temples and kept her head steady, all while she stared into her eyes, her own blue orbs seemingly dead due to their piercing gaze and odd unmovingness. "And tell him." She nodded her head while speaking clearly and slowly.

"But what if he says no? What if he doesn't think the same way?" Applejack wasn't worried about rejection per se, she just wanted to be prepared for any conclusions that could happen. And a few action plans never went amiss.

"But you've already planted the seed, Applejack, you see." Pinkie slung an arm around Applejack's bony shoulders and pulled her closer. "Even if he says no, he'll know how you really feel about him." Pinkie whispered directly into Applejack's ear. "He won't stop thinking about it. Every single word you said replaying in his head over and over again, deconstructing every single letter until it's all he can think about." Goosebumps ran up Applejack's arms as Pinkie's hot, damp breath tickled the tiny, clear hairs on her earlobe, making her feel quite uncomfortable. "He'll wonder if anything you said was true. Wondering if everything you said was true. He'll keep himself up all night, his mind racing until he can't help but break down and accept you." Pinkie backed off, sliding her arm away from the slightly spooked Applejack.

"Say Pinkie... Ain't that just a lil' manipulative?" Applejack turned to her friend and furrowed her freckled brow.

"Hey, I don't control emotions." Pinkie cocked her head and shrugged. "Or do I?" Pinkie hooked and eyebrow and framed her chin with a thumb and forefinger. Applejack stared at the Pie for a few seconds before a snicker snaked its way out of her pursed lips. With her lips cracked open, a few more chuckles were made, chuckles quickly turning into laughs, laughs quickly turning into guffaws once again. As Applejack slapped her knee, Pinkie copied her building snicker, eventually joining her Earth-Blood comrade in a hearty belly laugh.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Starlight turned her head to Spike and smiled. She was sat with her legs straight on the sofa, seeming calm with her hands clasped close together. Spike, on the other hand, was sat back, his legs lazily splayed apart and a clenched fist propping his face up, almost as if he could fall asleep at any second.

"Something funny." Spike perked his head up and peered out the front window, seeing a pair of bobbing heads framed in the glass, one head of blonde wearing a leather cowboy hat and the other filled with large, pink curls. "Something very funny." Spike smirked with a chuckle.

"So, it seems." Starlight nodded, still watching the pair laugh among the beating wings of the guards. Her head turned from the laughing friends to the window sitting to her right side, noticing that the moving hills, mountains, and woods that she first saw when she boarded the vehicle was replaced with pure white sheets of snow whistling past and the wisps of vapor blocking her view. The blizzard and low black clouds signified that they were now breaching the peaking mountains of the Frozen North and not far from the Crystal Empire. Starlight shut her eyes and rested her temple upon the ice-cold glass of the window, the wailing winter winds speeding past sounding similar to the gasps of a man cut across the neck. She sighed quietly to herself as she imagined breaching the thick clouds of frozen water vapor and witnessing the shining streets and crystal monolith once again, her fingers fiddling with themselves at the thought of arriving in the kingdom. "Do you think we'll be there soon?"

"About thirty minutes now," Spike answered, looking out the window himself before turning back to Starlight, her head still leaned against the condensation window and her digits fumbling with each other, the tips bumping, nails tapping and a few idle clicks highlighting her fidgeting. "Why? Antsy?" Spike smirked, noticing Starlight's squirming feelers.

"No! No..." Starlight turned away. "Why? Do I seem antsy?" She turned back and stared at Spike.

"Hmm. A little bit." Starlight was about to lie to Spike's face but she remembered what Twilight had taught her. Friends don't lie to each other.

"Why? Is it because of how short notice everything is?" Spike asked as he sat up on the sofa.

"No not that. Although that wasn't the most pleasant thing to wake up to this morning." Starlight sighed and placed a few outstretched fingers on the right side of her face, keeping her relaxed head propped up against the golden windowsill. "No, it's... It's nothing y'know. It's stupid."

"Is it Sunburst?" Spike asked, and in response Starlight's eyes shot open.

"What!?" Starlight snapped her head to stare at the lightly chuckling Spike. "What- Uh, what are you talking about?" Starlight grinned sheepishly and shrugged, clearly trying to cover up something.

"Oh really? You're gonna play that one on me?" Spike threw his head back and laughed. "What's next: 'Oh, Sunburst who? I don't know any Sunburst. Do you know any Sunburst?' Don't play with me Glimmer." Spike chuckled and shook his head.

"What!? I-How-Did yo-Wha-But..." Starlight's slurry of words fell off into sulking silence. A sigh paired a facepalm from Starlight as Spike looked on, rising in his seat and inching a little bit closer to his friend. "Is it that obvious?" Starlight turned to Spike, a glum expression drooping on her face.

"Well, it's not the most obvious crush I've ever seen... Or been a part of." Spike cringed to himself as he thought back to his days of crushing on Rarity. "But I've been picking up clues here and there."

"Like what?" Starlight asked. She wasn't appreciative of people knowing about her secret crush, not even a good friend like Spike, it just put her off that other people knew her thoughts.

"Well. For one, you talk about him a lot." Spike slid next to Starlight and outstretched his forefinger, tapping it once with the forefinger of his opposite hand.

"I don't talk about him that much." Starlight scoffed.

"Really? You were telling me about him yesterday. What was it? The story about when you two got lost in the woods near your home and you both held hands and sat under a tree until your parents found you?"

"Hey! That was a very relevant story at the time." Starlight protested with a pair of sternly crossed arms.

"Still, it kind of lost its effect after the tenth time you told it." Spike rolled his eyes and unrolled another finger. "You're always on your phone messaging him." Spike side-eyed the slowly fluttering Starlight.

"There's nothing wrong with texting your friends." Starlight affirmed.

"Puh-lease you're own you phone more than I am, and I'm a teenager!" Spike joked. "You're always checking your phone and laughing at something." The young man rolled his eyes while his friend once again scoffed.

"I'll have you know he sends some very funny memes." The woman grumbled. "And besides, he sends me more messages than I send him."

"And how many messages do you send him? On average? In a day?" Spike cocked quite a smug eyebrow.

"I dunno... Maybe... One hundred... And fifty." Starlight placed a fist on her temple and leaned on it as Spike chuckled.

"No offense but that is wayyyyy too many texts for a thirty-year-old woman to make. It's like you guys are high school sweethearts or something." Spike jested, Starlight pouted.

"Alright, yeah maybe I do text him a bit too much. But that certainly doesn't mean I have a crush on him." Starlight was still persistent in her anti-crush campaign but Spike was ready with a few more facts.

"Alright, alright." Spike nodded in agreement. "Just one thing." Spike turned to Starlight and propped his lower leg upon his knee. "What was Sunburst up to yesterday?"

"Pfft. He was 'hanging out' with Flurry Heart's head nanny again. Peachy Pillows or something..." Starlight turned to the front windshield and tightened her crossed arms. "Hmmph. Apparently they were 'discussing' issues about Flurry Heart's upcoming education. Apparently she's super nice to talk to. Apparently they got coffee while they talked. What a bitc-" Starlight's eyes widened as she stopped herself mid-outburst, realizing only halfway through her gripe just what she was saying. Her eyes turned to Spike sitting happily in her peripherals, a cocky smirk on his cocky mug. Starlight's expression twisted into an even more sour one as the shit-eating sneer on Spike's face increased.

"Y'know Starlight, the first step is admitting you have a problem." Spike managed to squeeze out a joke in between rapid chuckles. The frown on her face growing deeper and deeper until the now red-faced Starlight exploded.

"It is not a problem!" Starlight shouted at the openly laughing man. After her loud blurt she realized her word choice. Her use of the word 'problem' implied that there was indeed a problem, a problem with her crush. Starlight was actively fighting Spike at this point and couldn't give him any leverage whatsoever, and the particular word problem was interrupting her. "I mean, there is no crush." Starlight pointed a shaking forefinger at Spike before crossing her arms and closing her eyes in confidence. However, she pried one eyelid open when she heard Spike snickering to himself.

"So is it a problem or a crush?" Spike turned to his friend.

"Neither." Starlight shot back her answer quick and mean.

"Well, it's got to be one or the other. Otherwise, why would you be trying to hide it? Hmm?" Spike grinned quite cheesily as, once again, Starlight fumed. Spike's agitating pestering and general cockiness wouldn't be so bad to Starlight if it wasn't for the fact that he was one-hundred percent correct in his knowledge. Starlight wasn't just angry at Spike for his incessant teasing but also herself for allowing him to know through her own weakness. Although it was obvious that he would know eventually, she still wanted to keep it a secret from him since she just knew he was going to be all smug and self-satisfied about it. Pretty ironic considering his cringeworthy crush on Rarity not too long ago.

"How about I tell you and you stop being a smarmy little bastard?" Starlight made him the offer with a fake smile.

"I think I can accept that." Spike nodded in agreement.

"Fine..." Starlight inhaled slowly as she prepared to spill. "I do have a crush on Sunburst." She whispered. She closed her eyes in preparation for some raucous laughter from the cocky Spike but was slightly surprised when all she heard was a single chuckle. She opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Spike who was staring forward, wearing a completely straight face. "Are you not gonna laugh or gloat or anything?"

"Nah." Spike shook his head and turned to Starlight.

"Why not?" Starlight was curious, to say the least. Why would Spike be poking her to boiling point if he wasn't going to enjoy the satisfaction when she burst?

"I already knew." Spike said matter-of-factly.

"You already knew? Why were you teasing me then?" Starlight asked.

"Fun." Spike snickered to himself while Starlight frowned. Spike yelped in surprise when Starlight landed a half-playful half-annoyed punch on his thigh. "Ow! What was that for?" Spike rubbed his damaged leg while Starlight huffed.

"That was for you being a jerk." Starlight chuckled. Her previous aggression was gone almost instantly as the smarmy teen's smartassery won her over and she herself realized she was being a bit of a tight ass. "When did you realize?" Starlight propped an elbow on the cold windowsill and rested her hand on a clenched fist while she kicked her legs up on the couch and bent her knees.

"Like I said, it was the little things. You were speaking to him, about him, getting all jealous and stuff. It, uhh, reminded me of someone." Spike furrowed his brow as he once again thought back to his embarrassing crush on Rarity. "Plus there was that time I caught you cyberstalking his Immeditonne account."

"Hey! It was not stalking! It was.... Uh..." Starlight placed a finger to her lips as she cooked up an excuse.

"Do you really want to go through all this again?" Spike challenged Starlight with a cocked eyebrow, to which she sighed and backed down.

"So what do I do Spike?" Starlight stared forward at the Royal Guard's flapping their white, angelic wings, finding the beating to be quite soothing to her vision and her mind.

"I guess that there's something stopping you from telling him. Am I right?" Spike pulled himself up and sat crossed legged on the couch.

"Yep..." Starlight sighed, still staring at the flurry of feathers fluttering outside in the harsh blizzard. "I'd like to but... Well... All that stuff about ruining friendships comes to mind. I mean... What if I tell him how I feel and he rejects me. I just know it'll break us apart. He never was great at dealing with overwhelming emotions. Just thinking about it..." Starlight shivered at the thought.

Sunburst was her oldest friend, they had spent their childhoods joined at the hip and she was utterly heartbroken when he got his Cutie Mark and they drifted apart. It made her bitter, a bitterness that grew into uncontrollable anger and overtook her life. Starlight dipped her head as she thought back to her drastic anti-Cutie Mark regime she pushed on the poor townspeople of Our Town. Needless to say, if they were separated once again by Starlight's own emotions she wouldn't know what sort of radical methods she would take to keep her heart in one piece again. She wasn't willing to push that envelope any further if it meant she would revert back to her old, hateful self.

"No..." She said coldly.

"Well, I wouldn't necessarily push it off the table." Spike nudged closer as he offered his words of enlightenment. Starlight didn't seem convinced though, so Spike decided it was time for a little storytelling. "Look. You might not know it but I used to have a crush on Rarity-"

"Yeah, I heard." Starlight stated.

"What? How did you know?" Spike blurted. He knew that it wasn't the best-kept secret in town but he didn't know it spread that far across Equestria that Starlight heard about it.

"Twilight told me." Starlight revealed.

"Oh. That makes sense." Spike nodded, mentally noting that Twilight could use a lesson on keeping secrets. "Well back when I had that crush I was crazy for her. I used to follow her like a shadow. I was practically obsessed with her 24/7, I mean I would do anything for her and in a couple cases, I did. She could have asked me to go to the ends of the earth for her and I would have done it in a heartbeat." Spike was getting into his monologue, accentuating a few points with some strong hand gestures as he spoke. "But I never told her about it, becau-"

"Because she already knew?" Starlight interjected, to Spike's annoyance.

"Shut up." He shot back. "I never told her because I was terrified, terrified that it might ruin the strong friendship we had built in all that time of me orbiting her. We were the best of friends and I didn't want to break us apart with more emotions. If she said no and things were awkward between us, or if she said yes and we fell into the boring couple routine for the rest of our lives." Spike explained to a perky-eared Starlight.

"So you had sex with her then impregnated her?" It seemed it was Starlight's turn to be a smartass now.

"No that's not what I mean- Actually yes." Spike snapped his fingers as an idea sparked. "If you think about it, in my situation, that would be the worst possible thing I could've done, right? I took advantage of her and impregnated her without her consent. I threw her into a whole new lifestyle without even warning her. Right?" Starlight nodded in agreement. "But we're still best friends aren't we? I'd even say we're better friends since Charoite came into our world, it gave us something else to bond over and talk about... Do you get what I'm saying?" Spike looked Starlight dead in the eye as he asked the question.

"Yeah... Yeah... You're saying I should get Sunburst pregnant?" Starlight equipped to Spike.

"No, that's not what I'm saying." Spike placed a palm on his face while Starlight giggled. "Listen, me and Rarity were great friends, right. But even after all the stuff we went through, all the baby stuff, we're still friends, ever better friends. And you and Sunburst are great friends, right?"

"So... You're saying that if I do tell Sunburst about my feelings... It'll only make our friendship better?" Starlight asked a slightly skeptical look adorning her face

"Yeah... Maybe..." Spike looked away as he analyzed his own point and found it to be quite weak. He paused for a few seconds and opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. "Umm... Well, think of it this way. If anyone could rekindle a friendship, it would be you." Spike smiled quite sincerely, although, by the unamused look on Starlight's face, she wasn't having it.

"You're not instilling much confidence here, Spike." Starlight blinked as she spoke in a monotone voice.

"Well... I never said I was good at life advice." Spike crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Look, just maybe don't throw it all on him at once y'know. Ease him into it. Butter him up before you fry him." Spike slid one hand over his other, emulating butter sliding across a pan.

"Butter him up... Before you fry him?" Starlight arched her brow, a facial cue that broadcasted a very condescending 'What?'

"I'm not good at relationship advice, OK!?" Spike threw his arms into the air and huffed. Starlight smirked and placed a hand on his shoulder in response.

"No, Spike." Starlight moved closer to the sulking teen. "I understand what you mean, and thank you. It really means a lot that you're trying to help me."

"Alright... But y'know, just try flirting with him. See if that gets you anywhere, and if it doesn't... Go all in." Spike reassured her by placing a hand on her shoulder, mimicking her own grip on his shoulder. "And next time, ask Twilight for advice instead." He chuckled sheepishly, something Starlight recuperated in her own giggle.

"Noted." Starlight nodded as the two fell into silence. Both of them stared out the windows, Spike looking out the front window at the line of chariots in front of him while Starlight rested her eyes on the whipping snowflakes outside. They remained silent for a few minutes until Starlight turned to Spike. "So what about you, huh? Excited about going to the Crystal Empire?" Starlight settled into a comfortable position as she enquired.

"Of course! I love it there." Spike nodded happily and smiled. "Something about the place just really speaks to me. It's like a third home behind Ponyville and Canterlot." Spike grinned as he reminisced.

"I guess the fact that everyone living there adores you helps, right?" Starlight smirked.

"It certainly helps my self-esteem. But, I dunno, I just sorta like the place." Spike thoughts transported him to the gleaming streets of the Crystal Empire, filled with the warm grins of the Crystal-Bloods, beautiful houses dotting the streets and quaint little stores peddling sweet treats and fragrant flowers. He was always excited whenever Twilight got an assignment to head up north to the Empire, it was like a mini-vacation for him, a chance for a bit of well-needed rest and relaxation. He'd even taken his children there after Flurry Heart was born to introduce them to their new cousin and enjoy the wonderful city in all its glory, and needless to say, the citizens of the Empire took to the little cuties immediately.

"Looking to get a bit of R&R? Or perhaps a bit of T&A?" Starlight covered her mouth and giggled, to which Spike cocked a brow.

"What are you trying to say?" Spike asked with his own, slightly nervous, chuckle.

"Well, there's plenty of pretty girls in the Crystal Empire. And I'm sure they wouldn't be against to spending a night with Spike the Brave and Glorious." Starlight wiggled her eyebrows as a suggestive hint to the young man. The young man blushed and waved a hand away in response.

"Hey now, I'll have you know I don't get down like that. I won't just sleep with any old girl of the street. I've got standards." Spike crossed his arms and held his head high.

"That's not what I've heard. And I literally mean heard, as in, I've heard all the noises coming from Twilight's room." Starlight chuckled at her own joke as Spike rolled his eyes in response.

"Well, Twilight is a very close and personal friend, who I trust dearly. You on the other hand..." Spike muttered.

"Hey!" Starlight protested before Spike continued.

"And I'll have you know that those noises were made in the pursuit of science." Spike crossed his arms and smirked quite smugly while Starlight tutted in response.

"Research!? What kind of research emphasizes such heavy use of profanity and exclamations. Very sensual exclamations. Oh and I bet you're so content on conducting such 'research' purely for scientific gain?" Starlight rebutted. She placed an elbow back onto the windowsill and rested her head on her fist with a condescending little smile on her lips, a smile intent on seeing Spike squirm. But Spike simply exhaled through his nose and blinked slowly.

"Men will be men I suppose." He said, slightly monotone. Spike could feel a certain squint of eye muscles imprint themselves into his temple as he finished his vague summary. He knew exactly what Starlight was trying to talk about: What exactly was the deal with Spike and the Elements of Harmony? She had gotten brief hints and ideas here and there but never a fully in-depth explanation, thankfully for Spike. She knew of the children obviously and had a brief explanation of how and why they came into existence, an explanation she understood surprisingly well, even if it did skimp heavily on the 'details'. He had been lucky before when she had tried bringing up said 'details', usually there was a distraction of some kind where the question would be lost, but at the moment, trapped in a box with her for at least another twenty minutes and the question practically dangling off her lips, Spike was ready to take it.

"Tell me." Starlight demanded softly. Spike released a short, quick sigh of annoyance in response. Even though he knew it was coming he still would have preferred it if she didn't ask.

"Alright. What do you know about Ponyville?" Spike asked a question that caught Starlight slightly off guard.

"Umm... Founded about eighty ears ago by traditional seed-selling pilgrims who were given permission by Princess Celestia to farm on the property, population of around one thousand including surrounding farms and isolated dwellings, primarily agronomical in its economy as well as other small privately owned businesses, a demographic consisting of 61.2% Earth-Blood, 21.3% Pegasus-Blood, 17% Unicorn-Blood and 0.5% other and a-"

"No." Spike protested, suddenly stopping the brief rundown on the quaint little town in its tracks and leaving Starlight slightly slack-jawed. "While I'm glad to see Twilight has been teaching ou well, I meant what do you know about Ponyville? Within the last seven years or so?"

"Well..." Starlight sat back in her seat and bit a fingernail slightly anxiously. "I've only ever heard things, never seen them. I was up north on my own, doing... Well y'know." Starlight frantically moved away from her past. "I heard that... Well, it's dumb really. Sounds totally untrue." Starlight waved the idea off with a hand.

"No, go on." Spike asked her to continue calmly, something Starlight seemed apprehensive about.

"I heard..." Starlight began but trailed off. "I heard that the entire female population... Became bimbos. Like full-on slutty, dumb, curvy bimbos. Is that... Is that true?" Starlight leaned in as she questioned, creating a thick sense of suspense in the air as a result.

"It's true." Spike confirmed with a nod.

"Really?" Starlight wasn't quite believing it so asked again.

"Yes." Spike looked her dead in the eye and nodded again, affirming his point a second time and wowing Starlight in the process.

"But..." Starlight held her hands out in a questioning manner and stayed slack-jawed as her mind raced, trying to think of something supposedly. Spike just got comfortable in his seat, preparing to answer the flurry of questions the inquisitive Unicorn-Blood had for him. "How come this is the first I've ever heard of it?" Spike nodded almost impossible to detect, it was an understandable first question to ask.

Starlight's eyes followed Spike's own pupils as he peeped out of the window, seeing that the Royal Guards were still focused on transporting their precious payload. Spike scrunched his lips. They wouldn't be able to hear inside the chariot with the thick glass, gold shell and wailing winds outside anyway, and the inside was most likely secure of any microphones or other such recording devices. Spike inclined forward in his seat, moving closer to Starlight's own hunched form.

"So the bimbo stuff stopped eventually. Wore off, right?" Spike whispered lowly then waited for Starlight to nod. After she wiggled her head in confirmation he continued in the same hushed tone. "And when it did, that's when the 'Purge' took place."

"The 'Purge'? That sounds awfully sinister." Starlight commented.

"Don't worry, it's not that bad. Basically, the girls and every other girl in town turned into, y'know, bimbos. And I mean the most promiscuous bunch of sluts you've ever seen. And these particular promiscuous sluts just loved to post about how promiscuous and slutty they were all over the internet." Spike explained to a curious Starlight. By the look on the woman's face, she was very intent on finding out all Spike had to tell, pretty obvious since she had been yearning for a learning ever since she found out about Spike's unusually family tree. "On Immeditonne or Picbabble, they posted everything and anything up for the whole world to see, and I mean everything. They did that for seven straight years until it wore off."

"So all that... Stuff... Is still online?" Starlight asked, a little too eagerly in Spike's eyes.

"No, and that's the thing. When the bimbo spell wore off they obviously were not happy with all those explicit images up for the entirety of Equestria to see. So Celestia did them a service, a service nicknamed the 'Purge'. Over the course of a couple of months, a team of top researchers and scholars tracked down every single piece of evidence of the girl's bimboness and either altered it or erased it entirely, to make the girls more respectable in the public eye, y'know? Every written and typed comment or recording of their good deeds were adapted so it showed their normal selves rather than the bimbos. They deleted every single photo or video from the internet, even the backups and copies made by the girl's internet admirers. They were all hunted down and erased." Spike nodded to an interested Starlight, confirming everything he had just stated.

"So they just... Deleted everything." Starlight asked, jaw slightly agape. She was slightly apprehensive to believe what Spike was telling her. After all, how could they just go around deleting everything, was that not only an invasion of privacy for the Equestria's citizens but also an insult to every scholar and historian in the world. Who's to say Celestia can just go around rewriting history?

"Well... They couldn't delete everything. They stopped at erasing memories because of the ethical issues that came up." Spike explained further, sitting back on the sofa and relaxing. "So it was made illegal to even mention the 'Purge' or anything about the, umm... Bimboness." Spike hastily chose his words, or in this case made them up.

"But didn't you just talk about it though?" Starlight squinted and pointed a finger towards Spike.

"Well, it's just the two of us. And I'm assuming you're not gonna tell anyone." Spike chuckled.

"Well yeah but..." Starlight ducked her head and Spike followed. "Couldn't this carriage have a... Wire?" Starlight spoke in a low whisper.

"You really think Celestia would wire up a chariot?" Spike responded in a similar low whisper.

"I don't think it's totally out of the question given you just told me she promotes historical negationism and outlaws free speech." Starlight whispered back.

"Hey! It's not like that. She only does it in certain cases." Spike whisper-shouted back at the snarky Starlight. "Anyway, I don't think she'd go that far."

"But was it really that embarrassing for them?" Starlight straightened her spine back into an upright position, as did Spike.

"Trust me. It was." Spike chuckled and shook his head. His mind was flooded with past memories of very explicit social media timelines full of nude selfies, booty shots, and double-tapped dick pics. And not to mention the all-out sex haven Ponyville had become, with streets choc full of strutting floozies wearing the skimpiest of outfits. "It's better this way, trust me."

"Alright..." Starlight turned on the smooth velvet of the cushion and faced the front window once again, falling into a comfortable silence as she processed the information she was just given. Spike himself also turned away and rested an arm on the windowsill, however, he didn't relax like Starlight did. He was still prepared to discuss some things, some quite large things that Starlight had missed and was bound to mention anytime...

"Wait! Why was everyone a bimbo?"

Now.

"Alright, you're gonna have to stick with me because this is gonna get weird and confusing and honestly I don't even fully understand it." Spike inhaled through his nose slowly and calmly. "The Elements of Harmony are sentient things that choose the people who wield them. But once they have chosen they cannot choose again, however, the ability to wield the Elements is hereditary. So to produce heirs and keep the bloodline going they change the bearers to be more physically and mentally appealing and thus more likely to be impregnated. The reason every other girl in town got turned all bimboy was because that the Elements are super weird. Heck, if it wasn't for Princess Celestia controlling their magic the whole of Equestria would be bimbos." Spike inhaled once again, a little bit sharper this time as he waited for Starlight to come up at him with an automatic machine gun full of questions.

"Huh..." Starlight grimaced and jolted her shoulders. It wasn't exactly what she was expecting to hear but it wasn't entirely implausible. After her time under the mentoring wing of Twilight Sparkle she had seen a lot of things and learned very valuable lessons but one of the largest pieces of information she had gathered from that period was that weird shit happened in Ponyville.

Evil Alicorn-Bloods returning after being trapped on the moon for a thousand years? That happened. Chaos demon rocking up to town and generally causing a major inconvenience for everyone? Can check that off. Massive power-hungry monster threatening the entirety of Equus? Been there done that. Bugbear attacks? What the fuck even was a Bugbear? Who thought it would be a good idea to mix a bee and a fucking bear? Starlight was a natural inquisitive thinker from her early days but even knew that sometimes questions were only going to get things more complicated and that some sleeping dogs are better of sleeping. "So... I'm just gonna naturally assume that they chose you?" Starlight pursed her lips as Spike sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"What gave you that idea?" Spike chuckled in a slight deadpan tone. Starlight crinkled her brow at the oxymoronic monotone laugh. It wasn't the first time in the short chariot ride that she noticed something was off with the young man, something plaguing him was making him a bit standoffish and despondent, a side of Spike that she never usually saw. She placed an arm across the back of the sofa, her hand falling just short of the boy's shoulder. With any luck, she could get him a little more comfortable and he'd move into her embrace on his own.

"You ok?" Starlight dipped her head a bit and shot Spike an understanding and friendly look, hoping he would take the bait and spill his beans. He looked back but seemed to reject Starlight's own gaze, returning to his own slightly confused but mostly normal stare.

"Yeah. Why? Do I look not ok." Spike shuffled in his seat and checked his reflection in the frost bordered window.

"Well no, it's just that you were looking a bit down." Starlight frowned, a frown Spike recuperated.

"Sorry I'm just trying to..." Spike sighed slowly and calmly through pursed lips. "Relax." He kicked his beat up skate shoes atop the ornate cabinet sitting in front of him. "It's been a while since I've got away from the young ones y'know. Sorry if I was difficult, I'm just trying to get a bit of headspace before we have to do whatever it is we have to do in the Crystal Empire." Spike brought his hands behind his head and intertwined his fingers, producing a comfy little cradle which he rested the back of his head into and closed his eyes.

"Well, you might not have much time to do all that relaxing, because we're here." Starlight giggled slightly to herself. Spike propped his head back up to see the thick, black, wisps of clouds disparate as the Royal Guards pushed forward to reveal the shining visage of the Crystal Castle acting as a beacon once the pitch black arctic clouds disappeared and the radiant spring Sun was clear in the sky. A small jolt of the carriage and an incline in the flight indicated that a landing was very imminent. Spike slapped a palm onto his face and groaned in frustration.

Author's Notes:

Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years.

Yep, to all those who thought and hoped I was dead. Nope! Still very much alive and writing.

I know I announced this sequel like six months ago and I've only just got around to posting it, but hopefully you can understand why this is by the word count. You're lucky as well, this chapter and the next chapter were originally gonna be a single 30,000+ chapter. But I thought I might go easy on you guys. Hell, most of you will probably get bored of this chapter and stop reading.

Also, did you like how I lured you in with sexy times only to give you an entire 20,000-word chapter of character building? Ha, got em!

On the real tho, thank you all for being so patient and putting up with my bullshit. I've been chipping away at this thing between college, friends, family and my job. (Also I'm going to Uni in a few months so good luck seeing me again lol)

Hopefully, this will pay all that off. And fret not, more filthy smut will be coming your way in the future!

Stay tuned!

Your Unfaithful Author, Lucien Bubblegum.