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The Supervillain Flu

by TheDriderPony

Chapter 5: The Inevitable C-Listers

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The Inevitable C-Listers

"At last, at last!" cried a brown stallion as he emerged from his workshop. Time Turner (or 'Doc', to those who knew him well) laughed madly as he raised aloft his newest creation.

It was a strange blaster-like device that strapped to his foreleg. Crafted of sleek organic-looking black and green plates, it strongly resembled something made by a changeling. Or, if one was of a more macabre mindset, something made from a changeling. A glass vial full of clear water was inserted into the top.

"After countless days and weeks of toil, my device is finally finished." He tenderly ran a hoof along its polished surface as it caught the afternoon light. "Built to fully utilize the incredible capabilities of changeling biology, and fueled by enchanted water from the mirror pool, this is truly an invention that will rock Equestria to its core! Ahaha hahahahaha! Ahaha ha- *cough!* *cough!* *haaaack!*"

His monologue ruined by his own traitorous body, he dabbed away a small bit of spittle with his tie, carefully working around the stains from grease and other less pleasant fluids.

"While I was planning to gift this technology to the crown as a solution for free labor or unlimited guards or somesuch, today I feel oddly driven to use it myself. Hm, what a peculiar notion. I'll have to look into the causes of that later. But first, I suppose it might be fun to go and transform all of Ponyville into clones of myself." He chuckled darkly, "Oh wouldn't that be just fantastic! A whole town of nothing but me's! Imagine what we could accomplish. But such a brilliant device needs a fitting name. What to call it, what to call it... Aha!" He reared up and raised it to the sky once more. "The Me-intor!"

Doc paused and scratched his chin with his non-weaponized hoof. "Me-inator? I-inator? I get what I mean, but it really only works from the perspective of the one using the device."

Suddenly, before he could react, Spike appeared out of nowhere and smacked the device from his grasp as he ran past, shattering it to pieces. "Not today Doc!" the dragon cried, "There's no time! I've got bigger baddies to deal with."

Doc sighed, almost as if he'd been expecting this, and lowered his head. "Oh well, back to the drawing board then." He began to gather up the pieces of his demolished device at he called out halfheartedly, "Curse you, Spike the Dragon."

Spike raced on, barely acknowledging how he'd just saved the town from an eccentric academic's assimilation aspirations. There were more troubling matters at hand that clouded his mind, much like how the west end of town was clouded by an unscheduled mass of alarmingly low-hanging black clouds. Though his short legs couldn't cover much ground quickly, one of the great perks of being a dragon was great stamina. In the back of his mind, he was starting to regret Twilight's plan to split up to cover more ground. While it had proven true that most of the would-be-supervillains could be easily stopped by a single pony (or dragon), he had harbored a sneaking worry that at some point, they were going to come across one that they needed a group for. If he had learned anything from comic books, even outside the superhero genre, was that you do not split the group. Especially when there's multiple enemies about.

But, as much as how these thoughts teased the edges of his brain like a tempting itch, there was nothing he could gain from entertaining them. Could-be's and Might-have-been's didn't help anything when he had a job to do.

And so (with his favorite hero theme playing in his mind), Spike ran, slowing only briefly to quickly thwart the plans of whatever evil-afflicted ponies he encountered on his way.


In another part of town, Twilight was also heading for the ominous cloud mass. Having just thwarted a bank robbery (as in, the deluded stallion had literally tied himself to the bank and was trying to make off with the building), she was starting from the opposite end of town. Luckily, wings made for quick travel. She swept over the town, monitoring for any new and alarming cases as she went.

What was supposed to be a rare derived symptom had clearly become a predominate trait of the flu, which itself was rapidly becoming an epidemic. It seemed that everywhere she turned there was another budding supervillain trying to debut. To her great relief, however, years of peace had left the populace poorly versed in the art of villainy. So much so that many cases didn't even need her intervention. Most ponies were easily restrained by their friends and relatives, either with strong words or strong ropes as their monologues were drowned out by funnels of well-meaning herbal soup. Others were simply so ambitious that they defeated themselves, trying so hard to do some impossible task (such as one filly who had decided to conquer the world by holding her breath until the world gave up and presented her with a horn, wings, and crown) that they collapsed into congested, snoring sleep.

What worried Twilight were the few ponies who posed actual threats if they were to run loose. Though predominately an earth pony town, Ponyville had it's fair share of powerful unicorns, especially since it was the ideal place for graduates of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns who sought employment away from the highbrow nobility of Canterlot. Not to mention quite a number of pegasi who had made it into the preliminary Wonderbolt trials, even if only a hofoful had actually gone all the way. Even putting that aside, there was Ponyville itself. It always seemed to have a way of... magnifying disasters beyond what they reasonably should have been. If something was going to go wrong, it would, without fail, go in spectacular fashion.

Unlike Spike, Twilight did allow her thoughts and worries to preoccupy her mind as she flew across town. So much so that she didn't even notice when she entered the territory controlled by a most fearsome foe.

"Halt, you!" A sudden hoarse voice cut Twilight's worries short. She found herself in the marketplace where a towering pile of fruit and vegetables had been gathered. Atop the pile, somewhat unsteadily, perched an overstuffed armchair, recently stolen as well if the nearby broken glass and grumbling antique store owner were any indication. On the chair sat a pink earth pony wielding a carrot-topped scepter and a furious expression. All around her tower, various ponies either prostrated themselves or merely cowered in fear, aside from two who stood like guards at the base of her monument.

"Who pass within the territory of Overlily! Queen of the Market!" The self entitled mare announced grandiosely, if roughly. "All who pass must pay tribute to my greatness! Any pony who refu- *ech!* anypony who re- *ech!*" She stopped trying for a moment and rubbed her throat, wincing. "Criminy, that smarts! Roseluck, could you..."

One of the mares acting as guards rolled her eyes, but complied. "Yes, Overlily. Queen of the marketplace." before adding under her breath, "And right pain in the flank." She looked up and made eye contact with the rather impatient princess. "Hey Twilight. So here's the deal-"

"No!" Overlily scolded with a voice like sandpaper, "Do it right!"

Roseluck grumbled something under her breath, but eventually started again in a more formal tone. "The Queen of the Market demands tribute from all who pass through her territory in the form of fresh vegetables, fruit, or flowers. Those who refuse, she transforms into vegetables themselves." She added in a low tone once more, "Not that I've seen her do that, but I've also never seen her like this before, so who knows."

"So... Princess," Overlily smirked, "Life... or Snack?"

Twilight looked at her with something between boredom and irritation. A crackling boom resounded from the dark clouds further on, distracting her for a moment. Finally, she made her decision.

"Look, Lily, I really wish I had time to help you with this, but today has just been crazy and I need to put priorities first so..." Twilight shot a blot of magic at the mare, causing her to slump out of her chair and slowly slide down the delicious mountain, "...just take a nap for a while. Sleep is very good for recovery." She turned slightly to address Roseluck and Daisy, who had caught their friend at the bottom of her slide. "Get her home and make sure she stays there. She'll be fine and back to normal once her cold passes." And with that, Twilight took off once more towards the clouds in the distance.

Ignoring the cheers of the 'liberated' ponies around them, Roseluck crouched down so Daisy could properly maneuver the snoring mare onto her back. She grimaced as she felt a thin trail of slime follow the path Lily's face took across her coat. "Oh she is so getting a earful when she's back to normal."


To say that Ponyville did not have a 'Pegasus District' would be essentially true, but technically false. Either way, it'd earn the speaker a sharp glare from any Ponyville resident, pegasus or not. What Ponyville did have was a section of the town that had more cloud-houses-per-building than the rest. This was due to them being located around the Ponyville Weather Bureau. Some ponies just wanted the shortest possible commute after a hard day of flying.

It was at the center of this unofficial district that trouble was brewing. A literal storm was also brewing, which was not indirectly related to the aforementioned trouble. The upper floors of the PWB building had been taken over and held hostage. The normally rigid and utilitarian design of the building (as far as it could be considered such, given the difficulty making anything out of cloud that wasn't at least a little whimsically wispy) had been replaced with a fortress of dark storm clouds. Lightning crackled between crenelations and arced across archways.

Pegasi hovered around the building in a miasma of anger, worry, and fear. Occasionally lightning would shoot from the building like a spear from an atlatl, forcing everypony to dodge out of it's path. While not deadly, least of all to pegasi, getting struck by lightning was still an experience anypony with sense would do their best to avoid.

The source of the lightning was a pearl-coated pegasus with a mane that looked like she had a color-blind pony for a hairdresser. Clashing stripes of neon green and pink competed for space as static buildup made every strand stand on end. She stood on the ramparts of her co-opted castle, hurling vitriol and criticisms to every pony present on a personal, name-by-name basis.

It was during her rant that both Twilight and Spike arrived in a remarkable show of synchronous timing.

"And you Raindrops! How hard is it to deliver the right could to the right place? Nimbostratus and cumulostratus are not the same thing!" She gave her castle a kick, and a bolt of lightning made a beeline to a yellow pegasus who dodged at the last second.

"That was one time!" the mare, presumably Raindrops, complained. "And it was three years ago!"

But her voice fell on deaf ears. Her aggressor had already moved on to another target. Seeing each other, Twilight and Spike met up to exchange intelligence.

"You have any luck?" Spike asked.

"I deescalated a few bad situations," Twilight confirmed, "But this looked like a big one."

"I'll say," Spike agreed as he glanced toward the tower where insults and lightning continued to fly in equal measure. "She seems a lot madder than most."

"Oh you bet she's mad." Twilight and Spike turned at the new voice. Thunderlane walked up from behind, his mane charred and still smoking slightly. "I mean, everypony knows Blossomforth has a temper, but it's never gotten like this before."

"Magical interference," Twilight summarized.

"Ah. Yeah, I guess that'd do it. You have any idea how to, I don't know, deal with this Twilight? This feels like it might be a friendship sort of thing."

Twilight hesitated. "I may have something. It's a bit impersonal, but she should be fine." Charging her horn for a moment, Twilight let fly another magical bolt of the sleep spell. But before it'd gotten even halfway there, a bolt of lightning snaked out and burst it into magical dust.

"No interruptions!" Blossomforth hollered, her face red with anger. Though some of it was flush from a fever that made the clouds sizzle then her face touched them. "I've been bottling this up for fifteen years and nopony is stopping me till I'm through! If you won't listen to your general manager and following bucking directions, maybe you'll listen to a generalissimo shouting orders! Now, who's next?"

Thunderlane sighed. "Thought so. That's what happens anytime somepony tries to get close. She's got a real talent with lightning. That's why she's head of the Ponyville branch after all."

"Okay," Spike began to pace, "So we can't get near her to disable her with spells or force. So if this was a comic book, we'd need..." His eyes lit up in realization, "A distraction!"

"Whoa! Now that's some crazy supervillain stuff!"

Three heads turned up to see who had spoken. As if answering the call, Rainbow Dash had appeared on the scene. Twilight immediately concocted a plan.

"Rainbow Dash, I need to hit Blossomforth with a spell so we can calm her down easily, but she's so focused right now she can pinpoint shoot my spells away. I need you to distract her enough that I can slip the spell past her defenses."

Dash nodded. "Alright, distract her. Got it. What should I do?"

"Just... be you, Dash." Twilight replied with a grin.

Confused, but nodding, Rainbow Dash took to the skies as Twilight readied herself to take advantage of the first opportunity she could spot.

Dash's wings beat hard as their carried her up and up into the airspace of the local weather HQ. She quickly spotted her quarry (though it wasn't like she'd moved) giving Cloudchaser a piece of her mind.

"...and another thing! When I say clear, I mean clear! Not 'mostly clear', not 'just a few cirrus hanging about', I mean clear!" She stamped a hoof and let more lightning fly, making all the pegasi scramble in response.

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath and, keeping in mind how she'd seen Princess Luna do it once, hollered.

"Hey Blossomforth! Why not pick on somepony on your own level!"

It wasn't exactly a royal voice, but it had the desired effect. Blossomforth turned her bloodshot gaze on the rainbow mare and narrowed her eyes dangerously. "You..." she hissed.

"Yeah that's right, me!" Rainbow Dash replied cockily, "Got nothing to say? What, am I too awesome and perfect for you to complain about?"

"You have missed..." Somehow, Blossomforth had managed to both hiss and yell at the same time. "Every. Single. One. Of your past two hundred and sixty three shifts!"

"Aaah..." Rainbow Dash blanked. All her plans of goading Blossomforth and annoying her flew right out of her head at the unexpected accusation. "The hay are you talking about?"

"Every day. Every shift. I see you on the roster, and not in the skies!" The hiss-yelling was really starting to creep Dash out. If Chrysalis had any spies in the crowd, she would have had them jot down the technique for future schemes.

"Wha- I... I don't work here anymore!" Rainbow Dash finally managed a rebuttal. "I quit like, almost two years ago! Because I joined the Wonderbolts, remember?"

"You never gave two weeks notice!" She screamed, "And you never clocked out!"

"I'm on the volunteer squad!" Dash cried, "I still help out when I'm not training! I see you like once a week! You never said anything!"

"And besides all that, you're lazy!" The words hit Rainbow Dash like a hoof to the gut. Never had anypony called her lazy, leastwise those who knew or worked with her. Distractible? Yes. Easygoing? At times. Awesome? Daily. But never lazy.

"I am not lazy!" She spat, some actual anger seeping into her reactions. "I was one of your best weathermares."

Blossomforth's wings buzzed as she left her post to go right up in Dash's face. "Even if you finish your assigned task, napping on company time is still slacking off!"

"Gotcha." Twilight whispered as she let her spell fly. Away from her cloud fortress, Blossomforth had no lightning on which to call and no clouds to buck it from. The spell hit her like a flying book, with much the same effect of immediately rendering her unconscious.

"Whoa, easy there!" Rainbow Dash folded her wings and dropped swiftly to catch the falling mare, easing her the rest of the way to the ground. Without her active influence, the extra portions she'd added to the building began to dissipate. Like a stretched piece of rubber the original building began to ease itself back into it's familiar shape. Pegasi landed all around, both glad that the incident had been resolved peacefully and worried about their boss.

"Don't worry everypony!" Twilight calmed the crowd. "It's just a sleeping spell. She should be back to normal once she wakes up and you can all have a good laugh about this in a day or two. Can anypony get her home?"

Thunderlad stepped forward. "I know where she lives. It's just down the street from me."

Twilight nodded and allowed him to take her sniffling, wheezing form. With the object of their interest leaving, the crowd began to disperse. They all still had jobs to do after all. Weather still needed to be coordinated and the headquarters couldn't be left to reform entirely on it's own.

"Hey Twilight," Dash asked once they and Spike were alone, "You... don't think I'm, y'know, lazy do you?"

Twilight smiled. "Of course not. You're one of the most driven mares I know."

"Totally," Spike agreed, "Though personally, I wouldn't mind a lazy day or two after all this is over." That earned him a laugh from the group.

"Ah, you and me both Spike." Twilight tittered, "Though I think we're probably past the worst of it. It should be pretty easy here on out."


Author's Note

And with all the pieces in place, now there's just the Big Finale.



Infinity Smash...

Next Chapter: Infinity Smash Estimated time remaining: 34 Minutes
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