Goddesses give me a damn break already! This situation couldn’t even get any worse than it should! Oh wait, it has. I’m on the clock and these gangers want to sell me to the market! Doesn’t help that I am also sitting on a bunch of itchy moldy hay bed. Of course, being a courier does mean that I’m bound to be in situations like these. Karma has damned me ever since after that, well what I like to call “accident” back in Little Stable. Not my fault that I got a bunch of gang members after me because I delivered a damn bomb from a rival gang. Now they are blaming me for it and ever since, my life has gone to hell!

Fuck me…

I sat in a caravan cage with three gang members, one reigning the brahmin and the two others walking alongside the cage, giving me those glares. Well, one of them anyway. The other was eyeing my flank and licking his lips every so often. I shuddered when he did it again. I sighed and sat up on my haunches. My long sleeved duster flapped in the cold freezing air. I shivered.

Did I mention I hate the Empire’s choice of scenery? What the hell were they thinking when they decided of putting an entire empire in a tundra region. Said Empire’s Capital slowly came into view from behind the mountains. The once glorious Crystal Castle towered above an entire city that surrounded it. The sight of the place made scavenger’s nethers moist every time they spot it.

No, that is not an understatement.

And that sure as hell didn’t stop some from going in even though the entire Wasteland declared it “Death Trap”. It sure as hell kept that name because a companion of another courier got curious and took one hoof step and was instantly lost within the mist that surrounded the base. Said courier bitched about it for weeks.

As for my opinion? Fuck if I know.

I am just a courier. My job is to deliver packages and letters, get paid and go happily on my merry way.

That’s what I did. I always do that. Because I don’t want to be caught up in something big. And Goddess knows how close I was to being in one ever since that “accident”. So how did I end up being captured by gang members and being sold to slavers to be sold to some raiders and then probably get raped and violated by them? Well thankfully, the very latter hadn’t happened yet as the former.

‘Hmph, not going to happen.’ I thought to myself with a smirk. My duster thankfully came with a ragged hood that hid my entire head. I glanced down at my personal PipBuck and checked the time.

Fuck me with a thousand horns and call me pincushion. I was an hour behind delivery arrival time. I had to get out of here. I floated out my hidden bobby pin and small screw driver and frowned. ‘How am I going to distract Scary Eye and Licky Lips?’ I glanced at the two who didn’t seem to be paying me anymore attention and smirked. ‘Oh no, this courier has more tricks up her sleeve.’ I thought.

I quietly levitated out a StealthBuck that I hid in my tail and I closed my eyes, thinking of nothing but myself. I concentrated, imagined myself being split into two. When I opened my eyes, I was greeted with my own pair of golden eyes. I looked at myself and myself smiled happily back at me. I smirked and nodded to my doppelgänger and activated the StealthBuck. My copy quietly positioned herself as I quietly worked the bobby pin and screw driver.

I glanced at Licky Lips, hoping he doesn’t turn and spot me. Thank Celestia he didn’t as I gave a small quiet squee when the door clicked. I looked back at my doppelgänger and she nodded. She jumped up on all fours and bashed the cage gate open. I watched myself spiral past Licky Lips who seemed utterly confused as to what happened.

“Hey! Get that bitch! Get back here!” Scary Eyes said as he fired off his shotgun at my fleeting self. The cage stopped and I smiled as I quietly stepped towards the door.

I was jerked back and was suddenly being rattled. The cage door closed and clicked as I watched the brahmin turn and the pony on the reign whooped and hollered and tore after them.

‘Oh for fuck’s sake!’ I growled. I saw myself running alongside the cage and looking back just in time to duck my head from being belted with shells. My doppelgänger glanced at me. Even though I was invisible, my copies always knew where I was. Thank Celestia for illusion magic. But onto other matters, I had to get out of this cage and away from these ponies. I prayed that my copy would buy me a little more time as I worked the lock.

Which was difficult because the driver was terrible at keeping the brahmin from going all over the place. My bobby pin broke and I growled even more. Karma has fucked me hard today. I pulled out another bobby pin and began working on the lock. My doppelgänger was instantly surrounded as the three pointed their weapons at me.

“Now why don’t you be a good little girl and come with us? We’ll make sure you are nice and comfortable.” Scary Eyes said with a triumphant grin. Licky Lips licked his choppers again and touched his nether region.

“Very comfortable.” He grinned. I wanted to punt that guy from the Empire to the Hoof. I heard the door click and I grinned as I slowly stepped out of the cage. My doppelgänger must have sensed my triumphant feeling and grinned.

“Sorry boys, but my mother always told me not to play with small things.” My copy said with a smirk and glanced at Licky Lips. Said pony bristled, walked up to me and pointed the magnum to my head.

“Don’t fucking toy with me, cunt!” he said. My copy winked and smacked my lips and suddenly faded away. I couldn’t help but smile. I love myself for being so damned clever! I trotted away leaving the three in utter confusion and panic. I happily hummed a tune as I reached with my magic into my—wait what?

I looked to my back and realized my saddle bags weren’t with me. Another problem. My package I was supposed to deliver is in my saddle bag. The last major problem? The StealthBuck ran out.

Celestia shoot my rump with solar flares.
I quickly took cover behind a dying brush that was growing out of a dead burnt tree. I spotted my saddle bags hanging from the brahmin. However, I wasn’t sure if Karma was in play or not, but the driver was no longer on the caravan. I watched the three spread out near the cart. I slowly crawled as low as I could and made my way to the brahmin. The two headed cow looked at me as I reached for my bags with my magic.

“I do say, child, be more careful when you are wondering the road.” The brahmin said. I was taken completely by surprise. I gave a small uneasy smile back.

“Uh… thanks?” I said. The brahmin smiled and went back to chewing on whatever it was chewing on. As I turned, I stopped as my muzzle came close to meeting the muzzle of Licky Lips. He glared at me then grinned from ear to ear.

“Well lookie’ what I found here boys!” Licky Lips said. I backed up as the two others flanked him from both sides and glared at me.

“I… umm… forgot my things?” I said lamely as I backed myself up to the brahmin. I was trapped as they created a small half circle.

“Really? I thought you wanted to come back ‘cus you couldn’t resist us handsome devils.” Licky Lips said. The other two smiled wickedly and advanced.

“Handsome?” I said with a hint of annoyance. “You?” Then I laughed hysterically. They looked at each other with confused looks. Finally catching my breath, I wiped my eyes with my fore hooves and smirked at them. I concentrated in splitting myself again. But not in two this time, but three. With a blink of an eye I saw that my other doppelgängers were giving the three the exact same look I was giving them.

“What the hell kinda trick is that?” Scary Eyes said with a minor hint of panic.

“Oh, well I just thought that it wouldn’t be fair for me to have to deal with you all on my own, so I figured I’d give myself some back up. Say hello to me!” And with that, I reached with my magic and pulled out my standard 10mm hand gun from my saddle bag. My copies did the same.

To my surprise, Licky Lips reacted faster than his goons. I was tackled to the snowy ground and was pinned. I looked into his perverted face as he reached down with puckered lips.

‘Seriously?’ I groaned and with all my might, drove my horn straight into his face. He reeled back and howled in pain as I stood up and gave him a good old applebuck to the chest. My copies and myself instantly slid under the cage as the trio open fired. I looked at my two copies who glanced at me with looks of ‘what’s the plan?’.

I motioned for my copy on the right to provide cover fire to the right flank and my copy to the left the left flank. Taking up positions and firing, I crawled to the brahim who seemed to not be bothered with the gun fight as if it was normal everyday life. Well, to be honest it was.

“Hey, maybe you can help me?” I asked with a sheepish smile. The brahmin’s other head looked at me with a dreary look.

“Ah’ dunno. What do ya’ think Virgy?” the head drawled. The other head peeked over and smiled.

“I think we can, Georgie.” The other head said. I looked back at my copies. One got hit in the shoulder and vanished. I peeked over the brahmin to see the trio had taken cover behind the tree. Ducking back I nodded.

“Okay, let’s get out of here then.” I said. I levitated my gun and started firing as I hopped on to the driver seat, took hold of the reigns and shouted “Heeyaw!” and snapped the reigns. The brahmin looked over me with a glare. I flushed and returned a sheepish smile.
“What the hell!? She’s taking our wagon!” Scary Eye shouted. Before they could struggle over, the brahmin was already shooting down the hill. My other copy stopped the trio from coming any closer with cover fire. Licky Lips got annoyed and fired straight into my copy making me vanish. The wind blew my hood down as I turned and gave a salute as I left the trio behind.

Having finally broken free and making my way to Settlement to deliver my package, I pulled out a flask of Ranger Whisky and drank in celebration of my escape. I leaned back with a triumphant smile and stared ahead as the town came to view. Two guards stood by the gate. The one on my right came walking up and I halted the wagon.

“State your business.” He said.

“Courier number 16. I’m here to deliver a package to Mr. Light.” I said as I pulled out the papers and showed them. He scanned them over and nodded. The gate opened and they herded the wagon in. I jumped off the cart and glanced at my PipBuck. The navigation tag pointed to a building that was a few blocks away northwest.

Settlement is a small town, not big but also not small. It’s big enough for shady gangs to hold underground operations. The most popular building was the night club called Emporium. The best place for trading was a small encampment that was erected long ago outside of the Armory of Flashy Gear, one of the many ammunition buildings to make guns and still be around with enough caps to keep making them. Then there was Market Street. The place were traders and such go. I walked down said road, following the navigation tag. I couldn’t help but notice the place was more lively than usual. I felt at a loss as I somehow ended up going a wrong turn and reaching a dead end.

I looked at the time and I groaned. I was two hours going on three hours late for delivery arrival.

Turning back, I made my way through the crowd and spotted the most gorgeous gun to ever make any mare or stallion tremor all over. An automatic combat customized shotgun glimmered in the light as ponies gathered around. Said gun was supposedly made by Shining Armor himself. Enchanted to the point that the damage and wear and tear would instantly mend itself. I carefully treaded through the crowd as they pondered over the other trinkets and ammo as well as guns that weren’t nearly so loin frothing.

I saw the price on the gun and gasped.

"14,000 caps!?” I shouted causing some of the ponies to give me an ‘I know it’s outrageous’ or ‘shut up’ looks.

I sighed. My one true love for my arsenal I only have and I only had enough to buy a worthless amount of scrap metal. But no, I was planning on celebrating my success in escaping. I had finished off the last of the whisky and growled.

Karma was defiantly kicking my ass today. Pushing my way out of the crowd, I decided it was time to not screw around and head to the navigation tag.

I finally reached my destination. After showing the guards that stood by in front of building my papers and stamping me in, I made my way to the top floor. I felt a sense of vertigo as the elevator rose and felt my insides dip. Say what you will, but I hate it when I’m being moved up or down where I can feel my insides moving as well. I let out a sigh of relief as the elevator came to a stop.

I stepped out and was led to a pair of giant wooden doors. The blue stallion with the green mane turned to me.

“It’ll be just a moment. I must tell Mr. Light that his package has arrived.” He smiled and turned, closing the door behind him. I just stood there waiting. I hummed a little tune and swayed with it.

“Looks like the Wasteland Demon is at it again.” Said a yellow earth pony with a white mane. Two others, one a unicorn and the other a pegasus trotted over and glanced over the ponies terminal. My ears twitched as I tried to hear more.

“Oh damn, is that what he really looks like?” the pegasus exclaimed with a gasp. The unicorn shook her head.

“No way. How did they even get this picture up close and personal? My Goddess look at those eyes!” The earth pony nodded.

“Bastard is scary as hell.” he said.

“When was he spotted during this?” the pegasus asked.

“It says somewhere around Shelter.” The earth pony replied. ‘Shelter?’ I asked myself. Who is this Wasteland Demon? Well, if you asked others about their opinions, they would describe a big shadowy ogre with nasty claws and teeth. Others would say it’s a ghost of a two century old wanderer that had committed vile acts against the Crystal Empire and was exiled, hunted and killed for bits. And if you ask me? Well, I can say that this so called “Wasteland Demon” was one of the main reasons I’ve became a courier in the first place. I know exactly who they are talking about. But I had to be sure. If he is who I think he is, then eureka! But if it’s not, well let’s just hope I can get my rear out of a death trap.

I missed the rest of the conversation as the door opened and the stallion motioned me in. I was led into a wide expansive room. The furniture definitely shouted ‘I’m a rich fucker’ and the décor was beyond Wasteland standards. A large half circle desk surrounded a black leather chair where a well groomed purple stallion smiled at me.

“Welcome courier! Welcome! I am pleased that you have finally made it.” He beamed. I smiled sheepishly and nodded. I prayed that he wasn’t paying attention to the time and I would get paid in full. “You are three hours late.” He said as his beaming expression vanished into one of disappointment.

Fuck you, Karma.

“Err… sorry, I kinda got tied up with a couple of gangers and-“ I began but was rudely interrupted with a hiss. Mr. Light tapped his hooves together and gave me a calculating look.

“What is your name?” he asked. Really? He’s asking for my name? Well, as long as he is being civil.

“Courier.” I replied. He gave me another calculating look.

“I see. Well, let’s try this again. What is your name?” he asked as he arched his brow. I sighed.

“John Doe.” I said as I returned his arched brow. He sighed and smiled.

“Very well, John Doe. Now, you are courier yes?” he asked. I didn’t like where this was going.

“Of course.” I said giving him my most accepted grin. Something wasn’t right here.

“Your number?” he asked. I gave him a blank look.

“Number? Sorry, but I don’t really want anyone calling me while I’m busy working or at all for that matter.” I said with a wave of my hoof.

“Your courier number.” He corrected with a small hint of annoyance. I frowned.

“Sixteen.” I said. His ears perked up suddenly and he gave me a look that was studying me.

“So you’re the one who blew up the Bullhorn building.” He said. I balked and my right forehoof itched. I scratched it as I replied.

“Y-you got it all wrong. I didn’t blow anything up!” I stomped my hoof in protest. “All I did was deliver a package that blew up! How was I supposed to know it was from a rival gang?” Mr. Light just nodded and smiled.

“No worries child, I’m not holding it against you. Just wanted to hear your side of the story. Now, if you will.” He said. I sighed and levitated a small brown box that was wrapped up tightly with a rope. I moved it over to his desk and placed in front of him. He beamed and placed a bag of caps out on the desk. I levitated them over to me and placed them in my bag. As I turned to leave, I heard him giggle like a little filly as he spun happily in his chair.

Another day, another job done. As I exited the building and out into the street, I pulled out the bag of caps and jingled them in front of me. My ears strained to listen.

Not enough jingles. And yet again, I was paid half of what I got. I groaned and rubbed my face. ‘I need a drink.’ I thought to myself as I headed to Emporium.

Stepping into the club, I was instantly greeted with blasted music by Dj Pon3 from long ago. Ponies, mares and stallions alike, fornicated, chatted, drank and danced. I slumped as I sat at the bar. I smacked down my caps.

“A bottle of Ranger whisky.” I demanded. The bartender pulled out a shot glass and the bottle. But before he poured the bottle, I grabbed it with my magic, popped the cork against the counter’s edge and took a pull of the whisky. I felt that familiar warm fuzzy feeling I got when I first tasted this glorious and orgasmic beverage. I took another pull, sighed and slumped, propping my head against my hoof.

“Tough day?” The bartender smirked as he wiped a glass clean. I nodded.

“Being a courier sucks sometimes.” I said as I took another pull. My vision began to slightly sway.

“Well, don’t they have a code or something? You know like, ‘If you want this job, we are not responsible for your death.’ So didn’t you pretty much signed your life away?” the bartender asked with a cool smile. I narrowed my eyes at him as I took another pull.

“I guess you can call it that…” I sighed. “I mean, can’t you at least pay us in full? We go through hell and back just to deliver one, stupid, little box. Did you know I was captured by gangers?” I said as my vision began to sway more. The bartender was starting to become a little funny to me. Damn, this is some good poison. I mean sure, Wild Pegasus is sweet, but it becomes bland over time and I didn’t stick with it after finding Ranger Whisky. But I don’t know what to think anymore. I felt like I just wanted to say ‘I quit’ right then and there. I think I may have as the bartender looked at me funny and I just swayed.

“Sorry, I know being a courier has its ups and downs.” The bartender said with a comforting smile. “But in the end you get to see the Wasteland for what it is and eventually become wiser as you stick with the job more.” He said. I narrowed my eyes more, trying to focus in on him.

“How do you know what a courier goes through?” I asked as I slumped. I guess it might have come out as “Howzachuknowwhatcourierthrough?” He nickered and arched a brow.

“I used to be one.” He said. I blinked at him. “Yeah, hard to believe, but I was a courier. And a damn good one at that too.” He rubbed the back of his head and gave a sheepish smile. “Of course after the last delivery, I told myself it was time to quit and so I ended becoming a bartender at one of the best clubs in Settlement.”

Huh, and here I thought he was just trying to butter me up. However, I caught a look of concern as he looked past me. I was suddenly flanked by two stallions who leaned in and gave me what I would presume his “most charismatic” smile at me.

“Hey sexy, what ‘chu doing here by your lonesome?” the stallion with the brown cowboy hat and beige hide asked. The stallion on my right put a hoof over my shoulder, making me tense.

“Why don’t you come back with us? We will show you a good time.” The green stallion said.

“Hey now, don’t be causing trouble, you hear?” the bartender said. The beige stallion waved a hoof.

“Yeah, yeah, Pops. We won’t cause trouble.” He said. “So what do you say sweet thing?” I blinked at them and took another pull of my whisky. Realizing I had drunken the last bit, I suddenly felt depressed. Oh Ranger Whisky, I miss you so!

“What I say,” I began but I believe it came out as “Hasabacha.” I continued, despite my hazy vision and slurred vocabulary. “is that you are terrible with come-ons and need to get a better choice of words. That is so cliché.” I said as I slumped. I began to walk forward but fell forward and the beige stallion caught me. I looked at him longingly into his eyes. He furrowed his brows at me and I smiled. He puckered his lips as I got closer. I smirked and brought the bottle to his head. He dropped me and I felt the world spin. I stood up and swayed.

He looked up at me and growled.

“You bitch!” He reached back his head for his gun. I instantly slipped into S.A.T.S and I brought my hooves to his gun, knocking it out of his mouth and I turned and gave an applebuck to his face. He flew back and crashed out into the dance floor causing ponies to scatter. I staggered out onto the dance floor and swayed. Goddess my head hurt. I never liked stallions hitting on me. The stallion got up and charged me. I ducked and bucked him over my back. He scrambled to get up and charged again. I hopped back as he brought his hooves down. I conjured up a copy of myself and smirked. My vision was still fuzzy and I saw my copy sway so that meant she too was drunk.

Gotta love illusion magic. Seeing myself twice made the stallion balk. “Honestly, you stallions are so pathetic.” I said, hiccupping between ‘stallion’ and ‘are’. “Think you can get away with hitting on whoever you like ‘cus you want to get under mares tails.” I must have slurred the words because I sure as hell no longer understood what I was saying either. The stallion’s friend stood beside him and helped up his friend.

“You bitch! How dare you insult me!” he spat. I laughed and hiccupped in between.

“Insult you? You’re making us mares look like sluts who have nothing better to do than ride your sticks till you squeeze out all that milk build up. Fortunately for me I don’t swing that way.” I smiled as I swayed and leaned on my copy who did the same. The stallion arched a brow.

“So you’re a pussy chaser?” he asked. I blinked at him.

“No, I don’t chase kitty cats for a living.” I stood up right and I levitated a bottle of half drank Ranger Whisky from a nearby table and took a pull. “I’m a fucking courier.” The club went silent before erupting in laughter. I blinked at them all and flushed. “What’s so funny?” I asked as the laughter died and the stallion grinned.

“You might be right.” He said as he stood up and shook himself. “Who would want a ditz like you? I’m pretty sure you can’t tell me what yours looks like. Or in that matter, know which way is which.” He nickered. His friend and him, laughing together, strode out the club and the music started back up. I scuffled over to the bar and put down twenty caps.

“Sorry about the damage.” I said as I swayed and pulled the last of the Ranger Whisky. The bartender arched a brow and shook his head, pushing my caps back.

“Don’t need ‘em. Register's already full of caps by now.” He winked and smiled. “You sure know how to handle yourself.” I just nodded and scuffled to the exit when he called back. “Need a room?” I looked back and narrowed my eyes. He tossed me a key with the number sixteen on it. I wondered if it meant anything? I smiled and trotted to the living quarters saying.

“You, sir, are the most generous pony I know.” I’m pretty sure I slurred them. But what the hell. I was tired, drunk and really didn’t want to deal with the cold weather in my state. I found the room and unlocked it. It wasn’t nice, but it was nice enough to have sheets and a pillow. I closed and locked the door, shuffling to the bed. I fell back on the bed and decided to give myself a rub and a sigh of relief before passing out.

I wandered into something I shouldn’t have. I know it was stupid of me and… wait, what was I running from? In my haste, I looked back and saw nothing, but something inside me was telling me to go faster. So I followed. I didn’t want to find out what was chasing me. Unfortunately, my fore hooves got caught on a fallen branch and spiraled down a hill. I landed hard on the ground with a thump. I shook my head and looked back in panic. I couldn’t see it, but I knew it was there. It was stalking me, watching me, waiting to make its’ move. I scrambled to my hooves and galloped as fast as I could. I slid to a halt as I came to a river. The rapids flew by, making it more dangerous as it went further. I gulped and looked back.

I saw the bushes rustle and green glowing eyes stare back at me. I took no chances and jumped into the rapids. I slipped and got carried away. I struggled to keep my head above the water and swam to the other side, the currents pushing me. I saw the edge of the rapids creep ever so close and the sound of hissing water falling. I grabbed onto a branch that broke away when I did. I screamed as I began falling. Fortuned favored me though and I hit a branch that was sturdy enough that I bounced once and hooked my fore legs around and trying to climb back up. To no avail. I looked down at my watery demise. I looked up to see the edge of the rapids and narrowed my eyes.

Multiple glowing green eyes stared back at me. There was a maniacal laughter and the eyes seemed to bob as they laughed with it. I shivered.

“What the hell do you want!?” I shouted. There was no way out. Either let go and fall to my death or let the creatures grab me and eat me to death.

I chose the former. I gulped and let go. I screamed as the creatures continued to laugh. I plunged into the watery depths and found that it was a lot deeper than I thought. I looked up to see a dark abyss. My eyes widen as I saw tons and tons of the glowing eyes glaring back at me. Suddenly, I felt tendrils wrap around my waist, legs and neck. I struggled to break free, but it was useless, I couldn’t help but scream as the darkness covered me and I was pulled into my watery grave.

Footnote: Level up!
Perk Acquired: Drunken Master: While you are in a drunken state, your DMG and DT is increased but your chances of S.A.T.S hitting decreases.

Author's Notes:

A little trivia here.

I started this project around the ending of season 3 and the start of season 4. I was so engrossed in the original and the Project Horizon that I decided to make my own, but with a twist.

I had made decent progress in my time writing this story. Unfortunately, there was a point in time where I had developed a severe writers block that I hadn't touched this story in three years.

Finally, after a long hiatus and inner struggle with myself, I finally gained the courage to finally finish it up and finally post.

Long story short, Before I decided to finish this up, I had went through and revised my story twice over before posting a chapter. I hope you'll enjoy the journey of our young protagonist.

---

Edit: Things seem to have finally clamed down and I really do appreciate the time and energy you, dear reader, has spent to even read one paragraph of this story I had created years ago.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for giving it the chance I felt it deserves. On a side note, if you see any other chapters that are being worked on, yes, I have a couple of friends of mine reviewing and helping me revise the chapters once over.
-Cloudchaser1444