Ponyville

Robert ran through the streets of Ponyville, thoughts rushing and swimming through his head like a raging river about this new revelation on his mind. Princess Shayla had to be hiding her true appearance from the Rangers, it was the only thing that made sense. If she wasn't, she would have been attacked by Lightning Dust long ago, and the rest of the Rangers probably wouldn't have put as much faith and trust as they did in her as they seemed to. Hell, they wouldn't have accepted the responsibility of being a Ranger from a human, as far as he could tell. Sunset maybe, given how she seemed to didn't mind him so much, although for what reason God only knew.

Then again, for all he knew, she could have been playing him like a fiddle and was secretly loyal to Princess-Dick-With-Wings-And-A-Horn for all he knew. Honestly, he didn't know who to trust on this planet. Hell, for all he knew, Rarity and her friends could turn on him at the first possible moment, given how close they seemed to be with both Sunset and Twilight. Robert's cop senses were screaming at him not to trust anyone and just fend for himself, like he always had, but his mind was telling him that no one could be that nice unless it was genuine. But then again, they could be just VERY good actors.

"Is it really paranoia if everyone's out to get you?" Robert asked himself as he ran through the streets. Suddenly, his ears picked up something flying towards him and his hand almost at once reached out and grabbed the oncoming object, which turned out to be a tomato thrown by a pony from a vendor. Robert chuckled, and to the pony's surprise, actually took a bite out of the tomato.

"You know..." Robert commented and turned to the vendor, after throwing the piece of fruit behind him and it splattered onto the ground, its innards going everywhere. "If you're going to throw something at me, make sure it's not edible first. Try something rotten next time. Hell, if you really want to do some damage, pick up a brick and throw it. Might actually hurt." Robert deadpanned.

"Now if you excuse me, I have somewhere more important to be then hanging around here with you lot."

"Fine!" The vendor shouted. "Go run along and kill yourself, you vile animal!"

"Oh, there's a vile animal around is there?" Robert smirked, with the shopkeeper having unknowingly set himself up for one of Robert's infamous snarky deadpan comebacks. "If I see him or her, rest assured, you'll be the first to know."

Cackling to himself as the shopkeeper fumed, Robert kept on his journey slowing his pace as he realized he didn't know jack-shit on how to actually get back on the Animarium.

"Okkkkkayyyy... Permission to say Cock, Lord?" Robert asked as he looked skywards. When he received no answer, Robert rolled his eyes and let out a loud "COCK!" anyways. Then he got an idea.

"Of course, you bloody fucking moron! Ask Sunset!" Robert smiled before it faded as another realization came to him and he slapped himself in the face and muttered "Cock." again to himself. He had no idea where Sunset actually lived. Of course, he could ask her friend Twilight...

"Okay, two problems with that. Problem one: You don't know where Twilight lives, and secondly, she hates your guts and would probably take you right to Princess-Dick-With-Wings-And-A-Horn's Castle to be vaporized or some such scheiss. Hell, wouldn't be surprised, given how much of a suck up Twilight seems to be, that those two are probably fucking each other night and day. Bloody fucking Wunderbar." Robert mused to himself and muttered "Life's a bitch isn't it?"

"Oh yes Uncle Burai, give me a bloody fucking amulet that's said to bring me luck. What an absolutely bloody fucking wonderful idea. Well, where's that luck now, huh? Ā, chimamire no kami wa, watashi ga kono sobokuna kyoku o ajiwau tame ni watashi no menomaede uchiaketa nodarou ka?" Robert muttered to himself, cursing his ancestors and generally everything that had led him up to this point.

"God's a teme." He uttered, not even caring by this point he was pretty much committing blasphemy. Then he heard a voice, that in all his 27 years of living, he could safely say he thought he would never hear outside the television.

"Yeah, life sucks for someone who's a human or wellllllll... at least someone who looks like one in my case doesn't it?" An English accented voice with a very familiar verbal tick to it remarked from behind Robert and he whirled around to face the Tenth Doctor. Robert blinked once, then twice, then three times, to make sure he wasn't seeing things. But there he still stood, brown overcoat, blue suit, trainers and sticky uppy hair and all.

"Oi, you know if I was a Weeping Angel you'd be dead or sent off to another time by now." The "Doctor" remarked as he pulled his Sonic Screwdriver out of his many pockets and began scanning him and muttering to himself.

"Yeah, sent to another time would be a good thing. Anywhere but here, really. Hell, I'd take the bloody Dark Ages over this shithole of a planet." Robert mused. Meanwhile the Doctor still muttered to himself and scanned.

"W-Will you stop bleeping me!?! W-What the Hell do you think you're doing anyways?" Robert sputtered out, but was ignored.

"Yep, one heart, no organs in the wrong place and I don't detect any traces of an image changer." The Doctor mused while putting on a pair of glasses and studying him closely and then threw his hands around Robert (Much to his displeasure) and hollered "Oh yes, we've got a full blooded human here!" in excitement before a thought struck him and he kissed Robert squarely on the mouth, even using tongue!

"Okay, no venom sacks in the tongue. Human, definitely." The Doctor remarked before muttered "Rassilon, hope Derpy doesn't find out about that one..."

The look on Robert's face was priceless if you could see it. It was an odd mix of anger, disbelief and the one of someone who looked as if they were about to punch someone to the floor.

"Have you ever been punched when you do that?" Robert asked dryly, having no patience for this and also wondering what in the Nine Circles of Hell a fictional character was doing right in front of him, scanning him and then kissing him full on the mouth and snogging him senseless!

"...A few times yes." The Doctor admitted.

"Good, because if you don't stop acting like a complete twat that's what's going to happen to you in a second here." Robert remarked, his eyebrow twitching quite a bit and the sound of teeth grinding could be heard.

"Oi! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" The Doctor asked in offence.

"Alright, enough. I don't know if someone slipped me something or I'm high on bloody magic mushrooms, but could you at least show me where Sunset Shimmer lives so I can get a means of transport to a floating island in the sky?" Robert remarked before he realized how that must have sounded. The Doctor didn't look at him like he was mental like Robert was half expecting. He simply pointed to a house with a golden rooftop not unlike the Taj Mahal with a giant sun atop it.

"Okay, how the bloody Hell did I miss that?" Robert asked himself and threw his hands up in the air for a brief moment as he walked towards the home and if he been listening a little closer, he would have heard the Doctor say to himself "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." as he knew Robert was going to have to learn the painful truth about when and where he was eventually...

The Animarium

Robert groaned as he hit the grass with a thud and muttered "Oh, I'm never going to get used to that." as Sunset appeared beside him in a golden flash of light in her usual attire of her yellow and red dress and tiara before she helped him up with a smile.

"Oh, don't worry. You'll get the hang of it. Took all of us a while." Sunset said with a kind smile. Robert still wasn't entirely sure if that smile was genuine or she was faking it.

"...Did Lightning land in a tree when it first happened to her?" Robert asked. Sunset's rather embarrassed along with partially amused expression said it all.

"Serves her right, the bitch." Robert remarked before he muttered "Oh, won't she be surprised when she learns I'm not dead. Might kneel over and drop dead herself, not that it would be a bad thing."

Sunset winced painfully even as the twosome walked through the door that led to the Animarium's main temple. Robert had actually heard what Lightning said about him?

Okay, he's clearly not going to be working with her anytime soon. Best to keep Lightning away from him whenever they're on the Animarium together. I can't believe I'm saying this about one of my friends and teammates, but I wouldn't put it past her to try and attack Robert." Sunset mused, even as the waters of the viewing fountain glowed and a blue orb appeared from it before it changed into the form of Princess Shayla.

"Welcome you two." Shayla greeted in her usual friendly way but then she saw the look on Robert's face and frowned.

"Is... Is something wrong?" She asked, hoping severely that Robert hadn't found out what she thought he had.

"Care to explain something? Like why Lightning hasn't attacked you yet because of your... appearance?" Robert asked.

"Oh... OH!" Shayla said suddenly in realization as she figured out what Robert was getting at. "As soon as the first Wild Force Ranger of this time, Vapor Trail gained access to her powers, I knew she and any future Rangers might be frightened by how I look. As you know, that fear holds true. So I disguised myself with a complicated illusion spell to make myself look like an Alicorn to them."

Robert took a look at Sunset's unsurprised face and then he realized.

"You knew?" He asked, looking at her.

"Course I knew, I could detect that illusion spell a mile off. But I decided not to dispel it and keep Shayla's secret, and let her drop her veil whenever she felt the time was right." Sunset replied before she and Shayla shared a look and gestured for Robert to sit down. It was time he knew the full truth, and they both knew it.

"Speaking of... secrets, there's one we've been keeping from you. It's about where you are. You're not on an alternate world in another dimension or on another planet where the Animarium has conveniently moved like you first thought. There's... There's no other way to put this, you're on Earth, 3,000 years into your future if my guess is right." Sunset admitted.

Robert nodded. He'd had his suspicions right from when he landed on the Animarium. He may have been a bad cop, but he wasn't a stupid one. There had been too many coincidences for it to be anything else.

"Okay, now the obvious question. Where are all the humans?" Robert asked, although he had a sinking feeling he already knew. At this, Shayla let a tear fall from her face and looked at him gravely.

"I'm sorry Robert, there's no other way of putting this. Celestia... She exterminated them all."

"Tell me what happened, all of it." Robert snarled.

"It happened in the year 3007. I don't know how it happened, a genetic mutation in the DNA, or maybe an unknown magic filling them, but whatever the case, ponies soon began to walk and talk like you and me. At first, they were greeted with open arms, but after that... History becomes a little fuzzy. Fear took hold, as it always does of something new, and soon they were treated with suspicion, and then it turned to hatred. Hunting parties were formed, and ponied were hunted down. Raped, skinned, killed, you name it, humans did it." Shayla continued, tears of shame streaming down her face fully now. "It was only inevitable that retaliation was going to occur. Celestia, along with Commander Hurricane of the pegasi tribe struck back. They hunted down and killed every last human on Earth, even the non guilty parties."

Robert slowly got off the stone chair on which he sat upon, and then ran into the jungle with Sunset calling after him. She followed him into the brush and found him in a clearing and Robert whirled upon her and balled up his fist and struck her soundly in the face.

"And you're loyal to this... this genocidal bitch? She wiped out a whole fucking species, all on the actions of one fucking minority and then she has the fucking nerve to say it all was all of fucking humankind that did her wrong and everypony fucking believes it and takes her word as fucking gospel because she's fucking Princess Celestia!" Robert roared before he broke down and sobbed. All those centuries of humans and magical creatures and aliens living together in harmony, ruined by one group of asshole humans! And now... And now they were all gone. Every last bit, every last trace of humanity had been wiped out! Suddenly he felt a pair of warm comforting wings wrap around him and pull him into a hug and let Robert sob into her shoulder.

"She really is the Princess of Empathy, isn't she?" Robert asked himself even as he cried.

END

Author's Notes:

So, Robert finally learns the secret that's been kept from him for the past few weeks, and in doing so finally punches a Princess, although the last one any of us expected. Anyways as you know today the Power Rangers reboot has been released, so let's take a look back at the whole TV show that started it all...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkJC6YniD4Q

Of course, this chapter is the other main reason I rated this fic M, given how many F-Bombs have been dropped over the course of it, and all by the same person. Anyways, translation time!

Scheiss: Shit

Teme: Bastard

Ā, chimamire no kami wa, watashi ga kono sobokuna kyoku o ajiwau tame ni watashi no menomaede uchiaketa nodarou ka: "Argh, what bloody God have I ticked off for my like to go this loony tunes?

As always, comments and criticism are appreciated!