Chapter 3

The Child of a Massacre.

A total silence falls around us. I had just told the only pony who seemed to give a rat’s ass about me my darkest secret. I was laying here, trapped in a suit of power armor with no power and dying from a gunshot wound to the chest. There was absolutely no way in Equestria I could make myself more vulnerable. I close my eyes, waiting for the rough accusations to begin.

For those who still haven’t read LittlePip’s book or those who haven’t heard the stories, Arbu was one of the most controversial subjects regarding The Light Bringer. Many ponies support what happened, but the ones who survived had a different story. I was worried that Shady would leave me laying there, and let the wasteland consume what was left of me.

“So umm, does that mean you eat ponies?” She asked instead after a time. There was no note of accusation, just genuine curiosity. Maybe a little fear? For those new to this part of the wasteland, Arbu used to be home to a group of cannibal ponies. And yes, I used to live there. Despite my situation, I smiled softly and shook my head. “Back when I was a foal, we ate meat. But we were all told it was radigator.” Shady looked on, not interrupting me, and waiting patiently as I struggled to breathe. “When LittlePip came to our home, she quickly found out about what the adults were doing. I watched her slaughter every pony she came across.” I paused and closed my eyes. The memories flooding my mind the more I talked about it.

“She burst into my family’s home, and murdered my Father. All because they had this little brand, signifying their first kill. The rest of the foals were spared, hidden behind a magical shield while she gunned down every pony with bullets of fire. It was literal hell.” I shudder and blink away a few tears, but still I continued. “Now that I am older, I can look back on it and understand better. Most of the ponies there didn’t know it was wrong. Generations passed, each one instructed by the previous one. They all thought it was normal and they were murdered for it!” Shady takes a step back, the anger in my voice showing her how much I was hurting over this.

“So that’s it, all the times I saw you using that hammer as if you were hitting some pony, it was all LittlePip?” She asked as she moved back closer to me.” I shook my head and looked out on the dark horizon. “No, it was every pony involved. Yes, she was some of the source, but all of her friends, the town’s ponies, all of it. I lost not only my home and family, but what little innocence the wasteland can allow.” I admit, my heart hammering in my chest, both from the confession I just gave and the fact that I had holes in my body.

Shady moved closer and placed her hoof on my brow. I’m sorry. I had no idea you were carrying that pain for so long. Whatever happened in your past though, has made you into the good pony you are today, and I am happy to have you around.” She spoke and rubbed my head. I just looked back to her, completely shocked that she was willing to accept me, despite how I was raised. “But that makes it a little harder for what I am about to do next.” She admits and averts her gaze.

My eyes widen, and my heart rate rises in fear. Was she about to kill me? Because LittlePip didn’t have the guts to send me with my family was she about to do it? I thought we were doing ok! I thought I had a friend! I watch as she looks back into my eyes, emotionless as she pulls her hoof back, and suddenly hits me hard in the face. My head bounces of the ground, and swiftly I fell unconscious. My last thought being that I was going to see mom and dad again.

Ok, so apparently, I didn’t die. Unless this story is the story of a ghost who went after my killer. BOO! No seriously, I’m Just kidding. But in all reality, part of me still wishes she had. After Shady knocked me out, her and Quick Shot loaded my back into the sky wagon and flew off somewhere to get me some serious help. At that time, not only did I have two bullet holes in my hide, but one of my lungs was collapsed. Sadly, the one pony in Respite who knew any healing magic had died shortly before Quick Shot could help her.

And I know what you’re asking, “But Moonshine why didn’t Shady loot some healing potions? But Moonshine, why did they even bother to stop in the first place instead of getting you to help right away?” Well one, healing potions aren’t exactly as common as the stories would have you believe. Shady tried to find one, but she had apparently drunk the only one in town to heal her own injuries before I got lead poisoning. As for the second question, it turned out that the camp fire I was smelling wasn’t a campfire at all. It was Respite. We were far enough out that the glow and the smoke were just remnants in the night air.

Quick Shot had stopped there, and they off loaded me to spend more time binding my injuries and making sure I could even survive the trip. Now I really must pause and hoof it to that Pegasus. He had done everything he could to help every pony he could. I know most of the Pegasi had no idea what life was like down below, or they would have come down a hell of a lot sooner. Quick Shot had flown through the night evacuating ponies from town, then he flew even more in the hopes of saving my life. I’m sure Shady threatened him on occasion, but still he did what he could. If not for his efforts alone, I’m positive I would have died.

Sorry for the random change in perspective and a little time jumping by the way, but I just started writing this journal, and I had to find a way to put thing in perspective. I will have to go back just a little more, explain where I ended up and what Shady and I are up to. Oh, sorry for the tease by the way, but I don’t yet know enough to include in here just yet. But as soon as I do, I will be sure to write it here. Any hoof, I’m gonna stop rambling here, and get back to the proper story.

Pain, I felt serious pain for the first time since getting shot. Seriously, my everything hurt.However, I did know that I wasn’t dead, and that gave me some relief. I stirred slowly, muscles were cramped and achy. I opened my eyes slowly, dim lighting filtered through beige colored drapes was the first thing I saw, the second was Shady Acres with her head laying on the bottom of the bed I was occupying. She looked rough, her mane was a total wreck, and the bruises on her face were a mottled score of blues and yellows. But even still, I considered her to be the most beautiful sight just then. I couldn’t believe I had thought she was going to kill me. After all we had gone through, I should have had more faith in her.

Her breathing was regular, despite a few soft snores coming from her. I couldn’t help but smile a bit at the sight. Opting to leave her in peace for a moment, I took to looking around the small room. The walls were made of stone blocks painted an off white, and the floor was clean of any debris. One of the walls had a colorful mural depicting a group of mares, standing in a semi-circle around a tall black Alicorn. Her mane was a deep purple, and her eyes a menacing turquoise. “That is the defeat of Nightmare Moon.” Came an unfamiliar voice. I turned to look at the door, and there was standing a young unicorn mare, her silver coat not diminished in the slightest despite the low light.

I watched her as she moved into the room, taking care to remain quiet so as not to further disturb Shady’s rest. I watch this stranger curiously and with more than a little weariness. After Respite, I wasn’t willing to trust too many strangers just yet. Her horn alights with a gentle glow as she moves her light-yellow mane aside. But along with her magic, came just the gentle sound of music. Only a soft tinkling of metal, but it was just enough for me to know who she was immediately.

“You… you’re Silver Bell!” I exclaim at a whisper, and she takes a step back. Apparently, she wasn’t used to having some pony recognize her. She shook her head, and I think she was trying to remember why she came in to begin with. “How are you feeling?” She asks, completely bypassing my observation. I just looked at her. If she was here, was I in New Appaloosa? She didn’t wait for me to answer, before taking a stethoscope and pressing it to my side. “You seem to be breathing better, is there any light headedness? Difficulty remembering important details? Unusual pains or wheezing?” She asks, as she moves the scope to my other side.

Now that she mentioned it, I was able to breathe. Not short little gasps, but actual deep breaths. I shake my head, answering all her questions with the simple gesture. She nods and leans back, before looking at the mural again. “To answer your questions, yes, I am Silver Bell, yes, I did paint that mural, and it was a story told by a good pony. And no, you are not in New Appaloosa. But you will have to wait for your friend to wake up and tell you what’s going on. She made us promise not to. Before I could ask any further questions, she smiled softly at me, and quickly left the room. I slumped and looked hard at Shady. As much as I wanted to know what the hell was going on, I also didn’t want to wake her.

“You can stop staring at me, I’m awake dumbass.” She muttered. I jumped slightly, a little surprised. “Oh umm. Sorry.” I mutter as she sits up and stretches, yawning loudly. She then sets her gaze firmly upon my own, her unspoken worry clear in her look. “I’m fine, stop looking at me like that.” I grumble as I look down at the blanket covering my body. Then I remembered something. “Wait, you fucking punched me!” I sit up and fix her with a hard glare. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad she didn’t kill me, but why did she do that? To my surprise she leaned back, probably thinking I was about to hit her in return. When no hooves came flying at her face, she relaxed a little, before placing her own hooves on my bed. “We had already used two Med-x’s on you, and anymore would have caused you to overdose. Lacking anything else, I had to knock you out somehow, if only to keep you from suffering.” She admits sadly. I could tell she was regretting the need to do it.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, after all Celestia knows how much she did trying to save me. “Alright fine. Sorry I yelled at you, it’s just been. Well you know.” I whisper. “A total shit show?” She responds, making me smirk just a touch. As much as I was confused and lost, I felt a little better knowing she hadn’t left me. “What happened?” I ask. It seemed like such a simple question, but between her and me, it was lined with mystery and loss. “I’m not sure if you remember me telling you, but we lost Respite. It’s gone. Most of the ponies who lived there died, we only saved about a third total.” That number staggered me. most of the population, most of the ponies I lived with for the last four years had just ceased to exist, as well as my home… again.

“We rushed you here as fast as we could, Quick Shot pushed himself to exhaustion pulling that wagon.” I nod, listening to her tell her side of things. “As soon as we landed, I got the medical pony out of bed, and made her come help you. It took a little while just to get you out of the power armor, and into surgery.” She whispered. Her fears and stress from the entire ordeal finally making her break down. I saw tears building behind her eyes, and a slight quiver to her lip. Even though she had told me mostly everything, I knew she wasn’t telling all of it. “Where are we Shady?” I ask, something about her reaction though made me second guess asking her.

“Where you will be safe.” Came another voice, this one more familiar, and a total blast from the past. Once more I looked to the doorway, and I saw one of the monsters from my nightmares. Velvet Remedy leaned on the door frame, her face tired and gaunt, and her ivory mane disheveled. I my eyes widened, and my heart beat quickened as I looked upon her, all my memories flooding back. Her magical shield holding all the foals in Arbu, her voice as she agreed with LittlePip’s actions. To this day I could remember the venom of her words.

I knew she recognized the look of fear and utter hatred in my eyes. After all, she had seen that look time and time again during her travels. Shady noticed it too, and quickly placed a hoof on my chest. Using just enough of her weight to keep me from attacking or fleeing. Truth be told I didn’t know which I wanted more now. “It’s ok Shady, let him go. If he wants to strain himself after I saved his life and do more damage to himself that’s his choice. Luna knows I had enough idiots do just that in my life.” Velvet spoke. I knew she was playing me, using the knowledge that I was still in recovery to gain some leverage. And as much as it infuriated me, she was right.

Shady knew it too, and moved away, but her eyes never leaving me, ready if I did make a move. “In case you are wondering, you are in Junction town. It used to be Junction R-7.” She spoke with the authority of a doctor, knowing which questions every pony in her care seemed to think right away. “I know you are having some difficulty in accepting all of this, I know it seems that things are flying too fast for you to keep up with. Shady told me what happened, and how you ended up perforated. But I also heard how, despite the fact you were dying, you also saved her life.”

I nod slowly, not once taking my gaze off her. Even though she had just healed me, a feat at her own expense, I still had no wish to trust her. Velvet’s horn alights, and I flinch, but it was needless as she had just projected an image onto the white wall with her magic. I saw the damage that had been done to my hide. On my chest I saw the entry point, the fur there had been stripped away by the bullet. Then she showed my side, and the exit wound. What I saw filled me with horror and awe. My side had been entirely blown out, I saw ribs, and bits of damaged tissue that probably belonged to my lung. “You took a large caliber round through the chest at an angle. Only a few millimeters to your right, and your heart would have been hit.”

She said matter factly, but I could tell she was as tense as I was. “You are only alive and well due to several healing potions, numerous spells, and some old-fashioned surgery. It took all yesterday to stabilize you, and we had to shock you twice to get your heart started again when it failed. Shady and a few others in town donated large quantities of blood just to keep you alive.” She said flatly, and I gave Shady a quick, but thankful look. “I thank you for saving me, but you know who I am, I know you do. And you also know I cannot or will not like you.” If she was shocked by my words, she didn’t show it. “I never forget a face, but I distinctly remember yours. You looked at me all those years back, just like you are looking at me now. Full of fear, pain, and most of all hatred. Not one day have I forgotten Arbu, just like you I remember the smell of ponies and old buildings burning.”

My ears flatten on my skull as I glare at her. Never once did I imagine seeing her again. Even hearing her voice on the radio pissed me off. But now that she was in front of me, I really wanted to strangle her. “You, as well as your friends murdered my family. Destroyed my home and took me and the other foals into a fire fight with the Enclave at Friendship City. Do you have any idea what it was like after you and your friends left us? No pony would tolerate us or trust us if they knew we were from Arbu. I watched groups of other foals systematically hunt down every foal from Arbu they could and beat them near to death. Many of us are already dead, having been persecuted and murdered due to our lineage. AND YOU FUCKS JUST LEFT US! YOU FLEW OFF ON THAT SKY WAGON AND NEVER ONCE CARED ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO US AFTER THAT!” I shouted. My outburst making Shady back away, and Velvet to raise her eyebrows.

“I lost every pony I ever cared about. I lost my home. I was hunted and beaten and abused by those who didn’t understand. You and your friends subjected us to years of torment and hatred. So once again thank you for healing me, but seriously you need to fuck off before I really do something stupid.” I growl at her. She knew I was serious as well. If looks could kill, she would have already been little more than a nasty puddle on the tile by now. “It would have been better if you had just killed us all at Arbu. That would have been preferable.” I whisper once again before falling silent and giving Velvet her cue to leave.

She did just that, but paused and turned to look back to me, wanting to say something. “GO!” I shouted again, making both her and Shady jump. Velvet took the hint this time, and promptly turned tail and left the room, closing the door behind her. As soon as it latched, I slumped. My body starting to shake and my eyes starting to well up with tears. All the pain and humiliation I went through, and one of the ponies responsible was right here, and I still didn’t have the desire to kill her. I mean I really wanted to, but I knew I wouldn’t no matter how much I felt like it. The room fell completely silent, Shady not knowing, or not wanting to say anything that might make me go off again. I sat and shook, tears falling onto the blanket. I began to cry, my heart aching and my breath coming in short gasps as I wept. I wept for the loss of my second home, for the horror I saw, and most of all, for the two brothers who would haunt my dreams for the rest of my life.

We remained like that for quite some time, Shady just leaning on the wall, watching me cry, before gaining enough courage to move closer. She placed a hoof on my shoulder, unsure just how far she should go to comfort me. I wasn’t so apprehensive. I wrapped my hooves around her and hugged her as I shed tear after tear. She stiffened, unsure how to proceed. Instead she just pats her hoof on my back gently as I continued to weep. Admittedly it was probably the most awkward thing if you were to look from the outside. But to me, having some pony who would risk all that Shady had, and still want to be friends with some pony who had been a part of that damned history was so crucial and welcome.

It took over half an hour for me to begin calming down. My sobs now turned into broken hiccups as I finally released Shady. Her chest was soaked from my tears, and her cheeks were likewise coated with her own. I had been so wrapped up in my own pain, that I hadn’t noticed her crying with me. “Ponies weren’t built to handle all that we have.” Came a soft and meek voice from the door way. Once again, some pony had entered the room when I wasn’t looking. But this one, despite having never met her, I knew who she was.

A soft yellow Pegasus stood where Velvet had been, her pink hair having faded near white. But despite her age, any pony could recognize the kindness of her eyes, and the three pink butterflies on her flank. Fluttershy was standing in my hospital room, and the sadness in her eyes told both Shady and I that she had been witness to more than her or I would know. Instead of continuing to stare at us, she turned and looked long and hard at the mural painted on the wall while Shady and I separated.

“Ponies can handle only so much before they break and turn to the darkness that lives in our hearts.” Spoke the shy Pegasus. I wiped my eyes quickly and sniffled as she continued. “Take Nightmare Moon for example. Before she was a monster, she was a ruler of Equestria alongside her sister. But jealousy took its hold on her and made her into the legendary monster that ponies feared. Well, compared to how the world is now she would just be a minor annoyance.” Chuckled the Mare. “Even still, it took six friends to bring her back to being who she truly was.”

Shady and I sat quietly, listening to a Mare who had witnessed her entire world burn and decay into what it was today. She then turned to look at me. Her shyness fading away, and its place rested a resolve. “Velvet Remedy came to me a little while ago. She was crying after meeting you. She didn’t tell me what you said, but if it made her cry, then it must be a big deal. I helped her give birth a couple of times, and despite the pain, she never shed a single tear. So, seeing her cry today was quite a big deal. I know who you are Moonshine, I know what you have been through.” I looked into the eyes of a living legend, a pony who had probably caused the entire wasteland to begin with, and I saw her understanding of who I really was.

“Do you want to know what Luna’s virtue was?” She asks randomly as she looks at the mural once more. I nod softly, curious about her motives for being here. “It was forgiveness.” Spoke the Pegasus. “It took her three years, and a close call with her guilt come to life for her to finally learn her virtue. Once she was able to forgive herself for what she had done as Nightmare Moon, could she finally understand. She never held any ill will toward the Zebra’s. Even when her school was attacked and most of the fillies and colts there died from a terrorist attack, she still forgave them. She forgave her sister for putting the school so close to Zebra territory. The only reason we continued the war was because of the other ponies calling out for blood.”

I listened with rapt attention as Fluttershy continued her story. “Luna, for all of her power, could not stop the mass of outraged ponies from continuing down the path of war. So, she did the best she could with her situation, and governed as well as she could, even forgiving the ponies who wanted any and all zebra’s dead. Only when her sister tried to bring peace, and was almost assassinated, did Luna finally stop caring for peace. She stopped forgiving all together and became a corrupt version of her virtue. She never became the monster that Nightmare moon was, but she came close. Do you understand what I am telling you Moonshine?” She asked.

I took a moment to think about it, and despite the cryptic message it had been delivered in, I figured I understood her meaning. “Umm, that I should forgive?” I asked, not entirely certain. The yellow Pegasus nodded softly, and looked back at me, the kindness in her eyes having never left. “Velvet and her friends made a big mistake in Arbu Moonshine. It has taken them years to come to terms with the fact that they cannot undo what was done. They cannot forgive themselves, because that is not their virtue. But I think, in time, you can learn to forgive them for what they cannot change. Seeing you has only brought up that fact once more for Velvet, and it pains her. Understand that she healed you, not just because that is her way, but because she truly wanted to make up for what happened, if only in some small way.”

I nod once again; not sure I would be willing to forgive any of them any time soon. But my response did carry the weight of a promise, that one day I would try. That in turn, seemed good enough for Fluttershy, as she smiled softly and then she too left my room. Shady and I shared a look, before simultaneously shrugging at one another. “How many freaking famous ponies are going to keep coming in here today?” I ask, conveying my mood right now. I mean seriously, my emotional state was like a fucking rollercoaster ride, and I was getting mental whiplash from it. My mind could only comprehend so much at once, and right now I was over loaded.

“I didn’t think our presence would draw so much attention.” Admitted Shady. I shrugged and placed my hooves on top of my blanketed bed. “How much do you wanna bet, that the next pony who walks through that door works for the NCR?” I ask, trying to add a sense of humor to the entire situation. “Shady chuckled and wiped her eyes once more. “Oh, I’d bash my head on the concrete wall if that happened.” She exclaimed. I chuckle and finally manage a smile. “Oh, then you better pay up Miss Acres.” Came yet another voice from the door way.

This one was a Griffon, a long thick scar covering her face, and one of her eyes missing. “Oh, Goddesses dammit!” Groaned Shady, as she promptly slammed her head on the stone wall. More than once I might add. I just sink and put my face in my hooves. “Fuck me.” I mutter and drag my hooves down my muzzle. “Look, whoever you are, if you’re here to kill us, fucking do it already, if not it can wait. I just woke up and have had more than enough shit to deal with right now.” I quip, hoping she would get the hint, and leave us alone. But she didn’t. of course not. “Sorry, can’t do that. We need to have a chat, both of you have some valuable information. When you leave this room, ask for Gawd, then we’ll talk.” With that she promptly turned and left my little room.

“Oh shit.” Spoke Shady as her ears drooped. I looked at her a little confused as she shook her head. “What, who was that?” I ask as I sit up a little further in my bed.” Shady just looked at me and shook her head. “Don’t you pay attention? That was Gawd, as in Gawdyna Grimfeathers. She’s only the fucking leader of the NCR.” She said, and I slumped. “Of course she is.” I groan.

A short time later, Shady pushed me along the halls of the small Hospital. New walls and floors gave way to rusted metal and train cars, as we entered the area still under construction. I had never been here, but I was more than capable of understanding the changes happening to Junction town. What had once been an old train wreck turned settlement was rapidly becoming a self-sufficient town. I was sitting in a wheelchair, Hospital policy stated that any pony in their care had to be wheeled around so as not to risk any further injury. I though the thing was stupid and uncomfortable, but Shady convinced me that it was necessary. So, I couldn’t be happier when we reached the front doors and I was able to walk.

I hate to admit it, but I was still extremely sore. Shady had told me that while they had to dump me into the armor to keep me safe, they had a hard time getting me out. I sighed and stretched my legs, happy to be on my hooves once more. Shady kept a close eye on me, making sure I wouldn’t fall or anything. Seriously though it was getting annoying. I waved her off and walked stiffly into the bright afternoon of Junction town. Ponies trotted this way and that, some wearing old construction helmets, and faded orange vests. Others moved from building to train car and back again. Even still, Large Alicorns helped with the construction efforts by levitating the larger loads. The whole thing looked like an over turned ant hill as ponies jostled back and forth.

“Come on, this way.” Shady spoke, moving past me and toward one of the train cars. I recognized it from the story, as having once been the house of Gawd. I sighed and followed her, knowing this meeting wasn’t going to be pleasant. Once inside, Shady and I took spots before the ancient desk, where behind sat Gawd. The menacing looking griffon having lost much of her intimidating presence over the years. “Please take a seat.” Gestured the Griffon, and Shady and I promptly fell onto our haunches and the meeting was begun.

“I apologize if I cut this a little brisk, I have other matters to deal with, and I need to get this over quickly.” Gawd spoke. I could tell by her demeanor though that those other things depended on what we said here and now. “So, tell me, why was I called here in such a rude way?” Gawd asks, pointedly staring at Shady. I glance at her as well, having not been filled in on this bit of information. “What did you say?” I ask, only to be cut off by an evasive glance on Shady’s part. Gawd then coughed and lifted a note pad and read aloud.” Some pony get that feathered, beaked, feline, cunt brigade Gawd, down here now!” She read out, much to Shady’s shame and my amusement. I looked at her as she groaned and face hoofed.

“Seriously? Cunt brigade?” I ask, not hiding my humor. Shady just sunk down a bit and glared at me past her hoof. “Not now Moonshine, I had a lot on my hooves, what with you bleeding out and dying in case you forgot. “Shady snarled, and I just burst out with a laugh. “Seriously though I would have gone with, I need the angry, scarred, chicken looking, motherless spawn of Tartarus! I think the ponies outside would have understood that better than cunt brigade.” I quip, smiling at Shady’s expression before I was reminded that Gawd was still in the room via a hard talon to the back of my head.

“Um no offense.” I added quickly and rubbed the back of my head. Gawd glared at us with her one eye. “I don’t care what you would have called me, I only care why you fucking called me.” She growled, clearly letting us know that she wasn’t too pleased with the insults either. Shady then sat up and sighed. “It’s because your Griffon Phanes is a traitorous, lying, manipulative, feather brained, twat biscuit.” Shady blurted out. I had to hoof it to her, her insults were spot on, well most of them. I mean seriously? Cunt brigade?

The look on Gawds face conveyed confusion, as well as respect for the string of insults Shady was able to spew out at a moment’s notice. “What about him? What happened, and how do you know his name?” Now we definitely had her attention “He sent out an invitation to all of the local settlements in the Appaloosa region. Respite, Rivets, Curbside. All of us were invited to this party. We all showed up, expecting some talk about purchasing rights to our water supply, but during the party, he let slip that it was a ruse, and his forces were in our homes at that moment, and when we went on the roof, we could see fire light, and hear gunshots in the distance. All of the settlements were under attack at the same time.” Shady told the story, albeit in a nutshell. I sat and listened quietly as she told Gawd the rest of what happened. From our arrival into town, to the suit of power armor. The fighting. The death of the two foals, and ending with the tale of me getting shot, and her fight with the Ranger.

Through it all, Gawd held her tongue. But still I could see the growing look of rage building behind her stoic façade. Shady, mercifully left out the details of my heritage, and our emotional breakdown in the hospital room. Once she was done, a palpable silence filled the small chamber. Gawd held her talons clasped under her beak and looked at both of us. “Do you have any single shred of proof to your allegations?” She asked. I knew she believed us. But I sensed that she had to know for certain. Shady then nodded, and from within a saddle bag, she pulled the revolver dropped from by the Ranger. It still had my blood on the bit from when I had used it. “I can’t believe you had the foresight to grab that.” I whispered.

I must admit, seeing the gun gave me mixed feelings. I had used it, in self-defense, and a pony lay dead because of it. While I was upset that I had killed, I felt that it was necessary at the moment. Gawd had a completely different reaction. She hissed and looked down, her hard look falling to one of apology. “Never have I heard of a Griffon breaking contract like this.” She said, looking sorrowfully at the gun. “I will do what I can to investigate this, but I want you to know that this is not how the NCR operates. We do not take what we want by force. I assure you we will get to the bottom of this, and WHEN Phanes is captured his punishment will be dealt with appropriately.

I watch her face as she speaks. Even though her face was different in structure to our own, I could see she was completely honest with us then. Her words were a verbal contract, one which she would oversee personally. I nodded, and Shady matched the gesture. As Gawd stood to leave, she turned and looked directly at me for the first time. “It’s not often that any pony can survive a shot from one of these revolvers, and it’s even rarer that a Ranger gets killed, let alone by their own weapon.” As she spoke she scooped up the revolver and looked at it closely. I know this weapon killed many of those you both cared for, so as a token of your bravery and luck, I think it’s only fitting that this now belongs to you.” She said as she spun the revolver around and gripping it by the barrel she gave it to me.

Completely speechless, I took the gun from her with my hooves, and held it with a mixture of pain and honor. “I thank you for this gift Gawdyna and know that I shall not use it in anger or to cause unjust harm.” I swear. Gawdyna pauses, and looks at me a moment, before her beak splits in a small smile. “I like you kid, I might just take what you said, and have all Rangers from now on swear the same oath.” She patted my shoulder, before turning, and leaving Shady and I alone. “Now I need to go and get my contacts ready. I shall begin looking into this issue immediately.

“What just happened?” I asked as I slid the revolver back into the saddle bag. Shady looked just as stunned as I was. “I… I think she just made you honorary Ranger.” She spoke, and my eyes widened. “Only Rangers can carry that fire arm. If any pony sees you with it, they will know your position.” Shady spoke, just a little jealousy entering her voice. I however wasn’t enthusiastic and Shady caught onto it immediately. “What is it? I know that look by now.” She said wearily. I just looked at her and tapped her skull. “Think Shady, you read all about her as well. She doesn’t do shit out of the good of her heart. She wants something more from us.” I whisper. Shady’s eyes widen this time, and she knew I was right. “Did we just write a check our bodies can’t cash?” She asks, and I nod in response. “Yeah, I think we did. Either way, I doubt we are done with Gawd for a while.”

We left the stuffy cabin, not wanting to bump into Gawd right now. I was sure she had just flown of to take out some much built up aggravation on a clump of grass or something. Shady and I stood side by side for a few moments, letting the warm breeze blow through our manes. “Hey, I’m gonna go get some supplies, there is a trader just over there. Why don’t you go walk around and take in a few of the sights?” Shady suggested. I knew better than to argue with her, she always did like to do her bartering alone. “Alright, where should we meet afterword?” I ask as she hoofs me the saddlebag. “Back at the front door to the hospital.” She said and trotted off.

I sighed. Shady always seemed to have a fetish when it came to caps. Either earning or spending, she took great pleasure in the activity of bargaining. I slung the bag across my back, feeling the weight of the revolver press into my side. It felt like all the ponies who had been killed in Respite with it bore down against my side. I sighed once more, and shook my head before taking a slow walk around town. Many of the new buildings being constructed were still mixes of new block, and old train parts. As I milled about, trying to stay out of the way of any construction ponies rushing this way and that, I found myself stumbling upon a small train car covered in many interesting and pleasant colors. There were even small flowers growing outside.

I couldn’t resist, I pushed my way inside the small store, where I was greeted with even more colors on small patches of canvas. Each one had a different scheme to them, some depicting colorful ponies, trimming their gardens, or in other mundane activities. I was searching for a word to describe this place, but I couldn’t recall it. It was on the tip of my tongue and I wracked my brain trying to figure it out as I looked around. There were varying works of art everywhere. As many as there were in color there were just as many done in charcoal. The monochromatic pictures depicting skill, though they looked quite a bit older.

As I studied one image of a construction pony lifting heavy barrels onto a train car, a small voice came to my ears. “Hello, welcome to my gallery… Oh hey it’s you.” Came the voice. I recognized it at once as belonging to Silver Bell. I turned to see her, in the short time since I had seen her earlier, her hooves were covered in spots of blue and black paint. I wasn’t an artist myself, but I could understand being covered in stuff relating to one’s job. “Hello again Silver Bell. And thank you, I was struggling to remember to word Gallery.” I smiled and rubbed the back of my head with a hoof. Why was I being awkward, I never normally had issues talking to mares.

“Oh, umm ok?” She stammered with confusion. I just shrugged and waved it off. “sorry, completely random must be my brain still coming to terms with everything. But I did want to talk to you more, that is if it’s ok?” I ask as I look at her again. Silver Bell shrugs a bit, not bothered by the idea. “Sure, I was just working on a new piece, if you would like I could show you.” I nod and smile, eager to see some form of creation in a world bent on death and destruction. “Sure, but I’ve never been much into art, though I never really got to look at any. It was always about work with me.” I add smiling as I follow her to another corner of her studio.

“Oh, that’s fine, not many ponies take the time to look at the art around them. I appreciate you letting me showcase a bit.” She says, all the while, smiling and looking around at her works. As we near her easel, I notice a familiar looking sight. I was staring at myself. Well kind of. I was looking at Silver Bell’s painting of me. Some ponies would find it creepy, but the way she showed my presence gave me pause. I was haggard, tired and hurting. But there was a little bit of joy in my eyes, only a hint. Was this the look I had given her when I saw her earlier?

I asked her as much as I looked appraisingly at her rendition of myself. She nodded and smiled as she began to talk. “I have seen so many ponies while traveling with momma, I have seen so much sadness and desolation in the wasteland, but you were different. With you I saw all of that, but so much more. You had hope, hidden deep in your eyes. It was a look I hadn’t seen in quite some time. Some pony who had seen as much, if not more than I have, yet still holding on to some sliver of hope.” She adds, clearly seeing something I didn’t.

“Hope? What could I have hope for?” I ask as I look closer at the picture. She had done a good job of removing the bags under my eyes and making me look healthier than I actually was. “Hope is something you need to find, it’s in your heart. Like I once heard of this little Pegasus trapped in Fillydelphia as a slave years ago. He had courage to fight back, and found hope in his friends, and gave hope to those trapped in that pit.” I looked at her, not having a clue what she was on about. How could a Pegasus get trapped in a pit? It made no sense.

I got no time to delve deeper into that can of worms, as the door to Silver Bell’s store burst open and a young charcoal colt came barreling inside. I only caught a glimpse, but he looked like a smaller Velvet Remedy. He finally came to a halt, amidst a pile of upturned art and patches of canvas. Silver bell, despite having her store wrecked, giggled a little and moved over to the pile, quickly unburying the foal before he hurt something. Now that I got a good look, he really looked like Velvet, same coat color, same white mane, he even had a maroon stripe running through it. The only noticeable difference was that he was a little Pegasus.

“Amity!” I heard a voice outside, I turned to look, only to see Velvet enter the shop panting. Now that I got a better look at her as well, I could tell she was noticeably pregnant. “I thought I told you to be more careful. I swear you take more after your fath…” She trails off as she sees me. I was unsure what that look was, but it wasn’t nice. I got the distinct idea she thought I was going to hurt Amity. I just kind of shrink back and give a little wave. Wait why did I wave? I hate this pony!

She seems to be just as confused, but waves it off, before looking at the foal. “I’m glad to see nothing is broken, I told you never to practice dive bombing in town.” She scolded as she looked him over for injuries. “Sorry mumma.” He apologizes, all the while looking at us, and rolling his eyes. I chuckled silently, he reminded of me back when… you know what never mind, not going there. Velvet finished checking up on her son, then gently smacking a hoof across the back of his head. Don’t roll your eyes, I can hear when you do that.” She muttered, and he looked down abashed. Sorry mumma. “Now, you’re grounded, no flying for a week, head on home while Mommy talks with her friends.”

The punished colt gives Velvet the puppy dog eyes, apparently a look he learned from his father. “Stop that, I get that look twice a week from your dad. Now head on home.” Velvet scolds, and the little colt walks out. “Sorry about your studio Silver Bell. Anything I can do to help pick it up?” Velvet asks, all the while not taking her eye off me entirely. “No no, it’s alright Velvet, I was actually planning on rearranging anyway.” Silver chimes. I swear nothing could keep that mare down. Must be something she gets from Derpy “Well if you are sure.” Says Velvet, before turning to me and motioning outside. “Mind if I have a word?” She asks and despite my apprehension I nod. I actually had something I wanted to say to her anyway.

I say my goodbyes to Silver Bell and follow one of the few ponies I absolutely loathed out into the open just outside of the shop. Once again, the bright sun hits my eyes, and I must squint and wipe away several tears, just like every time I go out without goggles. Velvet was right behind me, waving to Silver Bell, and closing the door behind her.

“So, what do you want to talk to me about?” I ask as I turn to look at her, my body tense. I had to do my best just to keep myself calm right now, and it was a fight I was about to lose. Velvet sighs and looks sadly at me, before averting her gaze. “The way you look at me, it’s like I’m with some caged animal.” Admits Velvet. I nod, not saying anything. I agreed with her but kept my silence. “I know nothing I could say, now or ever, can make up for what happened to you. I had no idea what happened to you all after we left, and that is entirely our fault. I make no excuses, nor do I pretend that what we did was right, not anymore.”

I nod and continue to listen, gritting my teeth as she spoke. “I have no right to ask for forgiveness, nor do I deserve it. But I wanted you to know I am sorry. I cannot speak for LittlePip, Xenith, or Steelhooves. But I know that Arbu never sat right with Calamity, and over time I grew to understand his words better. He said Arbu was full of good ponies who didn’t deserve what happened. He wasn’t pleased about being fed meat, but he also understood, as I do now, that your family, and the rest of Arbu knew no better.”

With that she looked down at her side and levitated out a small pistol. Probably had only one shot and held it out to me. I looked at the weapon, then at her and I knew her thoughts. She felt, the only way to make amends, was for me to step into their shoes, and take the justice I was due. I looked darkly at the pistol. I admit, I was tempted, but I held back and actually tried to use my brain for once. “No.” I said and knocked the pistol from her magic. Velvet jumped, the action showing just how afraid of me she was. “I will not become the monster you all thought we were. I saw that colt of yours. Do you think I would do to him what you did to me? What would happen to that foal you carry in your belly? You think what you just offered would make me feel better, but all it does is piss me off even more.” I seethe.

Velvet looks at me, unsure how to proceed as I step closer to her. “I will not hurt you, Celestia knows I want to. But I can’t cause harm to foals, not after what I saw in Respite and Arbu.” I snarl before continuing. “Fluttershy came to see us after you left. And she gave me some pretty good advice.” I grit my teeth and press my face closer to hers. “I will, and this is not a promise, but I will try to learn how to forgive. Not for your sake, and certainly not for your friends. But only because of your children.” I whisper so low only she can hear. “Now get out of my sight, seeing you makes me sick.” I whisper with a deep growl.

Velvet picked up her fallen weapon and replaced it in a pocket and made to leave before she turned around to face me once more with tears in her eyes. “Trust in Gawd. She is a conniving bitch, but she’s not bad. If she says she can help you she will give her all. To her, and all who follow her, her word is as good as law.” I nod but remain silent until she turns and walks away again. I felt I had done a decent job of keeping myself together. A moment later, a dark shadow fell across my face, and I saw a large emerald and gold Phoenix fly overhead. It had to be Pyre Light. I shuddered just a bit then. If I had done something to Velvet, I’m sure that bird would have roasted me in a heartbeat.

I shake of the feeling that I could have easily just been at death’s door once again, and I begin to make my way toward the hospital. I had enough of wandering around, and I wanted nothing more than to get out of the sun and into somewhere cool. Standing at the front door, waiting on me was Shady. And she looked quite a bit annoyed. “When I said take in the sights, I didn’t mean take for fucking ever doing it.” She grumbled as I moved closer. I raised my eyebrows and shrugged. “Sorry, guess I left my telepathic powers back in Respite, I can’t read your mind anymore.” I quip, and she narrows her eyes a bit. Then she smirks and gives a quick laugh.

“Hey that wasn’t half bad, I might make a decent smart ass out of you yet.” She offers. At her words though, I couldn’t help but imagine a grumpy looking donkey receiving an advanced physics degree. I file the image away, as funny as it was, we did have more important stuff to deal with. Seeing a new bag slung over her back, I look at it curiously. “Please tell me you have some food in that bag. I’m really fuckin’ hungry.” I whisper. She looks back surprised, then asks. “When was the last time you ate?”

I grumble and look to the side, muttering an answer. “Sorry, didn’t quite catch that.” She said, starting to smile a little. She heard exactly what I said but wanted to tease me a little more. “Since I ate one of those wax apples you had.” I grumble, sticking my tongue out as I remembered the horrid taste. Shady just giggles a little, before motioning me toward another building. “That’s a hotel. I spoke to the owner while I was waiting for you to show your ugly mug.” She quipped, clearly enjoying the teasing.

“Hey, you asked this ugly mug out on a date if I recall correctly, so which is worse, my looks or your taste.” I fire back, parrying Shady’s remark. “Shit that was actually a good one.” She grumbled. Even though I heard her clearly enough, I still asked her to repeat herself. “It’s nothing, oh look here we are, we should go check into our room.” She says rapid fire, hoping to distract me. And to her credit it kind of did.

A few minutes later, Shady and I pushed the door open to our room. It was small, well lit, and it had only one bed. “Fuck.” I grumble as I investigate the room. No other furniture was to be seen, only a table with a radio upon it. Guess I was sleeping on the floor tonight. I enter the room, and Shady follows behind me and shuts the door. “Oh… that’s a bit awkward.” I just look at her and tap my head. “Ya think?!” I fire off, before slinging my bag into a corner. Shady just sighed and sat her butt upon the bed and sunk nearly to the floor. “On second thought, I’m glad I have the floor.” I quip as Shady flails her hooves a bit.

“Oh, stop laughing and help me! The mattress just fuckin’ ate me!” She shouted, and I collapsed onto the floor. Despite still feeling sore, and the anger I felt at having run into Velvet twice in one day, the sight of Shady sinking even further into the bed made me forget all of that, and just laugh. I have to admit, I hadn’t laughed like that in a very long time.

After the initial fit died down somewhat, I moved and helped her out of the bed. It was a small fight, but I won in the end and pulled her free before setting her down on the floor. “It’s not fucking funny!” She shouted at me, but with her mane standing at such odd angles I had a very hard time not snickering. “Ohhh shut yer cake hole.” She grumbles before setting the bag, and herself onto the floor. I sit next to her, as she starts digging through her new supply of goodies. Before I knew she was doing it, she tossed an apple out, and I barely managed to catch it in my hooves.

“Oh, son of a bitch!” she grumbles, and then, to my surprise, begins to push her head into the bag. Then half of her body. “Ok what the fuck how are you doing that?” I ask, the apple momentarily forgotten. I saw her struggle a little, seemingly having a hard time digging inside. A moment later I heard a victorious shout, as she comes back out clutching and apple in her mouth. “Ok did the bag try to eat you to? Cause I don’t think I could have won that fight.” I joke, completely at a loss for what just happened.

“No smart ass, it’s a bag of holding.” She explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Umm what?” Seriously was she just trying to mess with me? “A bag of holding, you know, it’s bigger on the inside.” She explains, then takes a bite of her food. I ignore my meager meal, as I pick up the bag. It was light, so I didn’t expect it when I opened the flap and peered inside. “Holy shit.” I whisper at a loss. It really was bigger on the inside. I pull my head back out and look to Shady. “If a couple of ponies were super cozy, they could sleep in here.” I muttered completely surprised.

Shady then does a spit take, bits of her apple hitting the far wall. “Are suggesting what I think you are?” She asks, and I blush deeply. “No. no I was just saying.” I amend, clearly this was a social minefield. She looks wearily at me, then returns to her apple. “Good keep it that way.” She mutters between bites. I keep my own council as I dig in to my own apple. And immediately spit it out. “For fuck sake Shady!” I shout. It was a wax apple. Again.

Level up. New Perk added.

Tough Hide level one: You took a bullet and kept kicking. From now on, ponies will have a harder time taking you out. Permanently gain +10 damage resistance.

New perk point added: +1 to Perception.

Moonshine

S: 5

P: 3

E: 6

C: 2

I: 5

A: 8

L: 5

Total points: 34