"You look really handsome," Velvet said as she watched Night Light get fitted with a tuxedo.

"I think there are a few pins still in this. I can feel them," Night Light said. The tailor pony ignored him and took a few more measurements, and made a few notes.

"How are the pants?" she asked.

"Like a cheap castle," Night said. Velvet raised an eyebrow. "No ballroom," he said. She chuckled.

"I'll adjust the inseam," the tailor deadpanned, making a note.

"Twilight?" Princess Celestia said from the doorway of the boutique. "It's time."

"Okay, well, I'm off to go have my dress made," Velvet said.

"I'm not coming with you?" he asked.

"No. It's bad luck for a groom to see the dress before the wedding," she said. Velvet got up from her chair and walked over to kiss Night goodbye. "Love you."

"Love you too," he winced. "Uh, I'd hug you, but I'm afraid that if I move, these pins are going to stab me." She kissed him again and he kissed her back before she headed out the door. Celestia could see the worried look in his eyes.

"At ease, Lieutenant. She's in good hooves," she said. "But I hope you understand, this doesn't change anything for you."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Even once you are her husband, you will still be her guard."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Even more so now that she's carrying your foal."

"I understand, Your Highness."

"... and this is one of our most popular styles," the seamstress said as she brought Velvet out from the fitting room. She and Celestia looked at her reflection in the many mirrors. Velvet could feel herself start to sweat under the heavy fabric in the height of June heat.

"I don't know," Velvet said, shuffling it off. "I was thinking something with less... poof! Just a simple gown to hang down. And maybe some see-through sheer material, since it's going to be a summer wedding." Celestia looked at the seamstress.

"Excuse us a moment, please," Celestia dismissed her. She bowed and left the room. Celestia turned and faced her protege. "Velvet, listen. I love you, and I'm not judging you. But you are visibly pregnant. And you will be even more-so next month for the ceremony. There is going to be a photographer. Your family. His family. Everypony is going to be there for the wedding. They are all going to be looking at you." Celestia put her hoof on Velvet's gravid belly. "Do you really want to be advertising the reason for the wedding?"

"...No," Velvet resigned.

"Poof?" Celestia offered.

"Poof," Velvet agreed.

Princess Celestia sifted through the stack of envelopes on her desk as Twilight Velvet looked on.

"Well, it seems that everypony has RSVP'ed!" Celestia said with a smug grin. "But then I suppose it's hard to turn down an engraved royal wedding invitation from me," she said. Velvet frowned.

"Princess, I really feel like all of this is going too fast!" Velvet said. Celestia's smile faltered.

"Twilight, your dress has been custom made for your current figure," Celestia said. "And given how rapidly your figure is going to be... augmented, I would advise that we not delay the wedding one day later than scheduled. That is, unless you want to be a mare having a bastard foal out of wedlock?"

"No, Princess. I don't want that."

"Do you not want to marry Night Light? Does he not want to marry you?"

"No, it's not that. I just- with all of the planning, and my other responsibilities, I haven't even had time to meet his parents, or for him to meet mine!"

"Don't worry. You will. They're on the guest list," Celestia said, fanning out the cards in her hoof. "Besides, the entire purpose of the dress is to hide the... evidence of your recklessness. So unless you have some other full length dress that you are planning on wearing for your entire visit to your, or his, parents...?"

"No. I just didn't think that the first time I'd be introducing my coltfriend to my parents would be at my wedding."

"Rest assured. I'm certain that they will be delighted to meet him."

It was the big day. Princess Celestia stood at the entrance to the Canterlot Temple, once used in the olden days by pony commoners to praise the sun princess. However she had long-since discontinued the practice. She did not relish the idea of being a deity. Particularly so as it was based on her feat of banishing the Nightmare in the Moon. Unbeknownst to most ponies, it was a sore subject for her.

"Welcome!" Princess Celestia greeted. The arriving ponies gave her a penitent bow. "Now, now," Celestia chided, "None of that today! Today is not about me. Today belongs to the bride, Twilight Velvet." A pair of Royal Guard ponies ushered the guests to their seats inside the temple as Celestia greeted more guests.

The bride sat nervously in her dressing room. Her posture let her belly make a large bulge in her snow-white dress. She looked at herself in the mirror as her pedicured hooves ran over the round bump in her dress. She almost didn't recognize herself. Her make-up was professionally done. She looked beautiful. She looked like somepony else entirely, a strange pony that she didn't know. The door opened and Celestia stepped inside.

"Everypony is here," she said. They both looked at the clock. It was nearly time. "Are you nervous?"

"No," Velvet said.

"Liar," Celestia said. Velvet huffed, trying to calm herself. "It's going to be okay," she assured her. "But your father is here. So you're going to need to..." Celestia motioned for Velvet to stand. Velvet got to her hooves. She was far enough along where her back was beginning to feel the weight. She shuffled her dress until the contour of her abdomen vanished. Celestia turned and opened the door.

"Hey there, my little Twi," her father greeted as he walked inside.

"Hi Dad. Where's Mom?"

"She's already seated in the front row. She's got her camera ready for us and everything," he said.

"We have a professional photographer," Celestia said.

"Yeah, but you know how she is," he said. Celestia smiled.

"Yes. I'll always remember," Celestia said wistfully. "Now if you will excuse me, I need to get into position myself." She left the room and closed the door.

"Dad, I'm- I'm sorry about... I know you haven't met him, and it's last minute-" He put his hoof nearly to her lips, not quite touching her perfect lipstick.

"Shh," he hushed her. "Twilight, you could never disappoint me. Or your mother. We're both so proud of you today."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes," he told her. She was on the verge of tears. "No! No crying little Missy!" he said. His drill-pony past showed through. "We don't have time for you to be messing up your makeup now. Suck it up buttercup!" Velvet's eyes went wide as she snorted hard, sucking back her tear. The Temple bell tower sounded the hour. "You ready to go, filly!?"

"Yes sir!" she answered with conviction.

"That's my little pony!" he said, opening the door to the main hallway. "Now march! Left hoof on four... three... two..."

Everypony in the temple stood as the music began to play. They turned to the back of the temple as the doors opened. Twilight Velvet walked beside her father down the aisle, following after the flower filly. At the altar, the groom stood at attention. For any of the times he had to stand before his commander, or Celestia herself, Night Light stood taller than he ever had in his whole life. The muscles of the proud groom's back threatened to snap his own spine.

Night's brother, Air Tender stood beside him, significantly less tense, wearing his rental tuxedo. Next to him, Mage Star wore his Royal Guard dress uniform, a red button-up shirt with a gold collar and cuffs, and blue sash ran over his shoulder across his chest. Velvet's mother was busy flashing her camera as the bride walked, and generally just got in the way of the professional photographer. The music finished as Velvet stepped up beside her groom. Night Light couldn't keep the smile from his face.

"You look beautiful. I love you," he whispered. Velvet shifted her extra weight on her dress shoes.

"My hooves hurt," she whispered back through her falsetto smile.

"Fillies and gentlecolts," Celestia began, "we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Miss Twilight Velvet and Lieutenant Night Light. May we have the rings, please?" Night Light looked to his brother. Air Tender shrugged.

"Sorry bro," Air Tender said, "Had to pawn 'em to pay for those strippers at the bachelor party last night." Velvet's horn glowed and a ring of magic appeared around his neck.

"You had better be joking, or else the two of you are going to be wearing those rings as necklaces!"

Mage Star quickly produced the pillow with the rings resting on it.

"Bitch is crazy!" Air Tender gasped in her magical grip, "Not too late! Run!"

"Yeah, she is a crazy bitch," Night said. Velvet glared at him. "But she's my crazy bitch." His smile melted her anger. She released Air Tender as he tried to casually not die. Celestia's horn glowed and placed each of the rings on the horns of the bride and groom.

"Twilight Velvet and Night Light, it is my great pleasure to pronounce you Mare and Colt." Night Light and Velvet kissed as everypony clapped their hooves. "I welcome you all to join us in the Gala Ballroom for the wedding reception. There will be catering and an open bar." Outside the temple, Air Tender directed the crowd toward the reception hall.

"Come on everypony! Let's-" Air Tender coughed and wheezed as he headed to the ballroom. "Let's do some shots! Shots! Shots!"

"Your brother seems interesting," Velvet said to her new husband at the head table.

"Yeah. He's always been... interesting," Night said.

"Mage Star hasn't said a word all evening," she said.

"Yeah, he's a bit less... social," Night said. "And he has some very conservative opinions about marriage. He's only just met this pony that's marrying his brother. He just needs to warm up to you."

"What? Why?" she asked.

"He's just a little over-protective. He's always had to look after us when we were younger... and older too. He blames himself for not being there the night that Air Tender lost his wing," he explained.

"Oh."

"Come on, let's get something to drink," he said. They got up and walked over to the bar. Air Tender was standing behind it, serving the line of ponies.

"Aye! Boyo!" Air Tender greeted his brother. He looked at Velvet and winced. "Uh, sorry about the whole, 'crazy bitch' remark. I was being choked at the time."

"Strangled," Velvet corrected.

"Eh?"

"Strangled. You were being strangled. Choking is when you have something inside your throat blocking your airway. Strangulation is when it's something around your neck," Velvet explained.

"That's, uh... something," he said. "So what can I get for the lovely filly for her big day?"

"Juice, please," Velvet said.

"Juice?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "You were pretty regular that night at the Gala," he said. She pretended to be surprised. "Yeah, that's right. I remember. I thought you were some kind of mind reader. Didn't know my bro'd been tell'n ya stories about ol' Nubby here." He flexed his back muscles, making the small bump in his suit flex where his wing had been. "C'mon filly! It's a celebration! How about a bit of Canterlot Wine?"

"Juice, please," she repeated.

"Al-righty," he poured her a glass of juice. "And you?"

"A vodka maretini," Night Light said.

"Shaken, not stirred?" Air asked.

"Do I look like I need my drink watered down?" Night asked. Air smirked and mixed the drink. He pulled out a bowl of olives and plopped one into the glass.

"Ooh! Are those olives!?" Velvet asked.

"Yeah, they-" Air Tender was cut off as Velvet snatched the bowl from him and began shoveling hoof-fulls of them into her mouth. Both stallions winced. "You know, there's a buffet..."

"I know," she said. "I just had the weirdest craving for-"

"Vel," Night put his hoof on hers. She stopped and realized that several ponies are looking at her.

"Uh... really good olives," she said to nopony in particular as she set the bowl back onto the bar. Air Tender gave her a sideways look and glanced back and forth between the two of them.

Sudden wedding
No alcohol
Weird cravings

"Congratulations," Air Tender said, extending his hoof. "On the wedding," he added.

"Yeah, thanks," Night Light said as he shook his hoof.

"Thank you," Velvet said as she shook his hoof next. They took their drinks and turned to walk back to their table. Mage Star walked over to the bar.

"So, how long do you think before they have a foal?" Mage asked. "I put the over-under at one year."

"Oh, I'll take the under on that one!" Air tender said as he tossed an olive into the air, catching it in his mouth. "Hrgh!"

Air tender clutched his throat as his face started to turn blue. Mage jumped over the bar, knocking glasses over onto the floor. The shattering glass caused everypony to look at the bar.

"You see!? That's choking," Velvet said.

Mage wrapped his hooves around Air Tender, giving him repeated hard squeezes. With a final, hard hug, the olive was propelled from Air's throat. It sailed across the room and splashed down into Princess Celestia's crystal goblet.

With the commotion at the bar settled down, Velvet's parents walked over to the bride and groom at the head table.

"Oh my gosh, there he is!" her mother said to her father as they sat down. "We- we've been looking forward to seeing you!" she said. Velvet blushed.

"Mom, Dad, this is Night Light, my... husband," Velvet said. Night Light stood up and shook her mother's hoof, and then her father's.

"Sorry," Night Light apologized. "I realize it's a little late to ask for your permission for your daughter's hoof in marriage."

"That's alright son," he said. "I- I suppose it is son now. I don't blame ya. I'm sure it was my little filly's doing. Wanting to get 'er done before you realized what you were gettin' yerself into."

"Dad!"

"So, Lieutenant eh?" he asked. "Retired Colonel myself."

"Oh." Night Light stood at attention and gave a firm salute.

"Nah, nah, none of that!" he waved off the salute. "Those days are behind me. And if you ask me, I don't miss 'em a bit. I'm take'n my orders from a different commander now. Isn't that right dear?"

"At ease, soldier," her mother said.

"So you had best square your ass away and start shitting me some Tiffany cuff links for my daughter. She's your commander now, you hear?" he told him.

"Yes sir!" Night Light said.

"Holy shit, Colonel, you too?" another pony said as he walked over. "Did they dig up any other ancient fossils for this shindig?" He froze in as soon as he finished the sentence and then bowed to the oldest pony in the room at the end of the table. "Begging your pardon. No offence, Princess."

"None taken," Princess Celestia said as she sipped her wine.

"That mouth of yours is gonna get you court marshaled all over again, Major," Velvet's father said. Night Light blushed.

"Velvet, this is my dad," Night Light said.

"Ma'am," he greeted Velvet. "Night, I gotta say, you done good. Marrying somepony that has the Princess hosting the wedding! I always figured that you'd end up with a desert ten."

"Desert ten?" Velvet asked.

"Dad, don't-"

"A desert ten is when you get sent into the south desert in the Guard. And the mares in the Guard are usually heinous." he said.

"You can suck my dick, Major!" one of the on-duty Guard mares said.

"Sorry ma'am. Didn't see you there," his father said.

"Dad, how much cider have you had?"

"Is this really happening right now?" Velvet asked as she tried to shrink into her seat. Celestia struggled to hide her devious grin behind her goblet. "No wonder he got court marshaled."

"So anyways, you're in the desert so long, that your standards start to go down. And before you know it, that Guard mare starts looking like a ten. Hence, desert ten."

"Thanks, Dad. Thanks for that. Thanks for calling my bride heinous."

"What!? No! No, I'm saying that she's not! She's not heinous. Right?" he looked over at Celestia. "Right Princess?"

"Don't look at me, Major." She put up her hooves. "You're on your own with this one."

"Whatever. Congratulations. And thanks for the open bar. I'm gonna go keep an eye on your brother, make sure he doesn't die."

"Thanks... Dad," Night said.

"Wow," Velvet said.

"Yeah," Night sighed.

"Hey," her father put his hoof on Night's shoulder, "Your father saved my ass back in the day. I owe that pony my life. He's a good stallion when he's not..." he looked at the pony staggering at the bar, "...carrying on." He looked back at Night Light. "I'd be proud to have you as my son- as my son-in-law."

"Thank you, sir," Night Light said. Velvet's parents walked back to their table. Night's dad started flipping bottle caps at the other guests.

"I thought my parents were embarrassing but him? You win," Velvet said.

"Great. What do I win?" he asked. Velvet leaned over and whispered into his ear. His smile came back to his face. "That'll do."

Twilight Velvet and Night Light stood outside of their castle honeymoon suite. It was a short walk from the Gala ballroom, for which Velvet's hooves were very grateful. Night Light lifted Velvet with his magic as he opened the door and carried her inside. He grunted as he strained to carry her across the room to the bed.

"I don't want to hear it," Velvet said as he set her onto the mattress. "I have to carry this thing all day." He pulled her shoes off.

"Well, it's over. We're married. Now about that prize I won...?" he grinned.

"Yeah, yeah. Just let me get out of this thing!" she said, trying to peel the dress off of herself. "Unzip me?" Night helped to unzip her dress. Velvet started to take her dress off and smeared her makeup on the fabric. "Oh, shoot!" She rushed into the bathroom to clean off the makeup, both from the dress and her face. "Won't be but a moment!"

"Okay." He waited on the bed. Velvet stuck her face into the sink and scrubbed off the makeup. She realized that she needed attention elsewhere as well.

"I actually just need to freshen up a bit, too. Won't be too long."

"Okay."

"Actually, I could just really use a shower. I'm all sweaty from being in this dress all day."

"Okay." Night yawned as he laid there on the bed, tired from the long day. Velvet started running the warm water.

"You can join me if you want," she said. "Night?" She stuck her head out of the bathroom. It had been a long day. Maybe it was the ciders. But Night Light was out cold. Velvet sighed and turned off the water. "Or that too, I suppose." Velvet flopped onto the bed beside him, cradling her belly in her hooves. The door opened.

"Now sweetie," Velvet's mother said as she walked in, "I got you this book of foal names. I know you two are anxious to start making some grand foals but I-" she froze in the doorway and saw Night Light passed out on the bed. Her visibly-pregnant daughter was laying beside him. "Oh. Well that was fast."

Velvet laid on the couch, reading a book. Sitting upright had become a chore for the pregnant mare. The floor was littered with empty potato chip bags, ice cream tubs and a pickle jar. On her desk, her bonsai tree had grown a bit over the course of the year. Velvet hadn't brought herself to shape or prune any of the new branches yet. She was content to just let it go and see where it led. Night Light opened the door to their suite and carried a couple of bags inside.

"Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, my special somepony!" Night said from the door.

"Ugh," Velvet groaned, craning her neck to look vaguely in his direction.

"I got you something," he said, giving her an envelope. Velvet took it with her magic and peeled open the flap.

"Be my special somepony this Hearts and Hooves Day?" the card asked as Velvet read aloud. She opened the card. "Trick question. You don't have a choice. We're married." She looked up at him. "That's... sweet, dear."

"And so are these," he said, giving her a box of-

"Chocolates!?!" Velvet's eyes lit up. Night Light took a step back as she snatched the box from him, afraid that he would also lose his hoof. She shredded the wrapping and ripped open the box, shoveling the various chocolates into her mouth. "Yer da besh!" she said with her mouth full.

"You're welcome, dear," he said. Velvet dispatched the candies quickly, rubbing her thighs together as she did.

"Mmm, and I know just what I want next!" she purred, eyeing up Night Light. The hormones that had been flooding her system since she'd conceived had swollen her teats into full mammaries, increased blood flow to her nipples and pubic area. And it had turned the once-virgin filly into one horny mama. Her horn glowed and lifted him into the air before laying him down and pinning him to the floor.

"Oh, uh, okay. Uh, right now?" he asked. Velvet didn't answer as she slid off of the couch. She didn't walk, so much as waddle over to him, her pendulous belly swung beneath her. She leaned down and pressed her muzzle into his crotch. She took a deep whiff of his scrotum and she nuzzled his balls with her nose. He felt her warm tongue join her nose on him. "Oh, honey- no, I- at least let me take a shower first! I've been running errands all morning!"

"No," she growled. "I love your stink!"

"Okay..." Night Light could do little else but lay there in her magical grasp as her plaything. He groaned as she continued to lick his sack and worked her way up to teasing his sheath.

"Ah, here we go," she purred, as she watched his shaft appear from its hiding place. She shifted up along his body and began to lick his penis directly.

"Vel-" he moaned. She felt his legs twitch under her as his staff grew to full mast. She shimmied up along his body, straddling his waist with her legs. She was practically dripping wet as she slid against his shaft. "Oohf!" Night couldn't help but grunt as her weight crushed him.

"A little help?" she said, releasing her magical grasp on him. He reached down and helped to lift her butt with his hooves. His own horn glowed. His magic did its part, cradling her belly to help ease the weight for both of them. Velvet's magic grasped his cock and angled it upwards towards her needy marehood.

"Can we try to take it slow this time?" he asked. "I'm still a little tender from last time." The absence of a reply from her made him nervous. But she eased herself down gradually, letting just the tip inside her at first. She lowered herself a bit more, but taking no more than just a third of his shaft. She was comfortable taking her time with his hooves and magic supporting her. Her pussy winked and gripped at him. But she could tell that it was now him becoming impatient. After almost two minutes of slow teasing, his hips jerked. He bucked upwards into her, giving her nearly two thirds of his length.

"Oh, are we done with slow?" she teased. Her magic flashed and knocked his hooves away, letting her fall all the way down onto him. In an instant his entire length vanished into her. Her winking clit bumped against his pelvis as he bottomed out inside her. He felt a rush of wetness spray from her pussy.

"Wow! You came just from that?" he asked, seeing fluid soaking into the carpet.

"What? I didn't-" she froze and they both looked at each other with eyes as wide as dinner plates. "Oh shit. You need to get me to the hospitoooOOOH!" Velvet lurched as the contraction struck her. She fell onto him before rolling off onto her side. His cock sprang free as the rest of her broken water gushed out.

"Oh shit! Oh fuck!" Night Light sprang to his hooves and ran to the door, pushing it open. "MEDIC!" he screamed into the hallway. He ran back across the room and grabbed the day-bag that they had prepared for the big event. Out of the corner of her eye, Velvet looked at the bonsai tree on her desk. Next to it was a snow globe that Celestia had given her. It was enchanted to be a sort of panic button. The princess's words echoed in her mind.

"If you ever have an emergency, just break this, and I'll be there."

Velvet's horn glowed as she panted on the floor. Her magic nudged the globe off the edge of her desk. It fell to the floor and shattered.

The entire room flashed an iridescent white, stunning the panicked stallion and sending him reeling to the floor beside his wife.

"Twilight!?" Celestia bellowed into the room as the light faded. The princesses eyes fell to her most faithful student, sprawled on the floor in distress. "Are you okay!?"

"Foal's... coming!" Velvet wheezed. Celestia's horn glowed and enveloped the pregnant mare in a protective aura. Night was nearly to his hooves as Celestia's horn flashed again. A concussive force blasted the far wall, knocking the door and the frame clean out of the wall, scattering debris into the hallway as they charged through. Velvet rode along comfortably inside the yellow bubble as Celestia ran with unnatural speed through the castle. Night could barely keep them in sight as he gave chase.

Celestia bounded into the air of the vaulted hallway. Another blast from her horn smashed a hole in the floor. And the floor under that. Ponies below were kept out from under the falling rubble as a wave of yellow magic shoved them to the walls. Celestia dove through the hole and free-fell. Her hooves smashed the marble tiles when she landed. She bolted down the hallway to the castle infirmary and discarded her golden horse shoes, crumpled from the impact.

The doors to the infirmary simply evaporated into yellow dust. The reception counter and the wall behind it were shoved aside like they were no more than a fabric curtain. The receptionist and her desk followed with it. The entire architecture of the room was altered by the princess's whim. Celestia burst through the waiting area at supersonic speeds. Her wake scattered reception papers and criminally-old magazines everywhere.

Celestia came to an instant halt when she reached the maternity ward. The protective magic bubble surrounding Velvet shielded her from the acceleration forces that might have otherwise liquefied her skeleton. Celestia gently placed Velvet into the hospital bed, setting her legs into the delivery stirrups.

"SCRUBS!" Celestia turned and yelled behind her. The princess began washing her hooves in the nearby sink as cadre of her nurses flooded in.

Half a castle away, Night Light followed the trail of destruction through the castle. Her magic blast had nearly left him unconscious. It was like he was in the same closet as a firework going off. All he could hear was the ringing tinnitus in his ears. He had only ever heard rumors as to Celestia's power. Her ability to move the sun notwithstanding. But to see it with his own eyes. She had blown a hole in the solid stone wall twice as large as the doorway as easily as if it were made of a house of cards.

As he ran down the hallway he could barely hear the muffled voices of the ponies shouting all around him. He came to a skittering halt just before he reached the stairs, nearly falling into the gaping hole in the floor. The edges of the hole in the granite structure glittered with fresh quartz crystals, formed from the intense heat. Such immense force, just from her impatience to take two flights of stairs.

He edged around the hole and ran down the stairs. In the lower hallway, he saw four huge dents in the solid stone floor. Impact craters. Her golden horse shoes had partially melted and fused with the stone. He ran to the castle infirmary and found it looking as though a train had collided with it. The central structure of the reception had been moved nearly twice its own length aside. Exposed pieces of the room's infrastructure protruded from the floor and hung from the ceiling. But perhaps most impressive of all, amid all the destruction, was not a single injury.

Any unicorn could do each of these feats on its own. Like grabbing a tuba and blasting out a single, loud note. But for Celestia to single-hoofedly do all of these things so rapidly, while protecting everypony around her, while carrying and protecting his wife. It was like a one-pony symphony of magic.

"Note to self:" Night Light thought, as he ran into the maternity ward. "Do not piss off the princess."

"Where the hell have you been!?" Celestia yelled at him.

"Too late."

"Did those pegasi get dispatched to her parents home?" Celestia asked a nurse.

"They're on their way!" a nurse said.

"I need that ring!" Celestia commanded to the room. A hurricane of ponies moved around the relatively small room. At the center was Celestia in full doctor scrubs. "You," Celestia grabbed Night Light with her magic. In a flash he teleported and appeared next to Velvet's bedside. "Here!" Celestia's magic grabbed his hoof and put in into Velvet's. Her hoof gripped his like a vice.

"YOU!" Velvet growled. "You did this to me!" Night Light buckled as he felt the bones in his hoof being crushed. Velvet's horn glowed. The walls of the room began to shake. The light flickered. The saline in her intravenous bag began to boil.

"Nurse, I need that ring immediately if not sooner!" Celestia yelled. The nurse ran in with the ring. Celestia quickly put the magic-inhibition ring on Velvet's horn. Everything returned to normal. A foaling unicorn was one of the few forces of nature that even Celestia feared. But the ordeal wasn't over for the stallion.

"Get this thing out of me!" Velvet yelled. Her hoof twisted Night's, forcing him to contort himself to keep it attached.

"Hang in there Lieutenant," Celestia said. "You're doing great Twilight! You're doing so great!"

"I hate you! I want you to DIE!" Velvet roared.

"We know you don't mean that," Celestia said, remaining calm for everypony. Velvet wrenched her hoof again. Night felt his shoulder dislocate.

"Can I die instead?" he whimpered.

"Not today soldier, or else you're going to be in a world of shit," Celestia said. "You know the rules. Royal Guard ponies are not allowed to die without permission." Celestia turned to the nurses. "I need that epidural! STAT!" A nurse brought in the epidural. Night Light saw it and fainted.

"If you stick that needle in me, I'm going to stab you in the heart with it!" Velvet growled.

"It's not for you. It's for him," Celestia said, pointing at the stallion on the floor beside her. Velvet rolled onto her side and looked down her unconscious husband.

"On your hooves soldier!" Velvet screamed, shocking the pony awake. Celestia snuck up behind her and injected her exposed spine. "AAGH!" Velvet yelled as Celestia depressed the plunger.

"Aaand there we go," Celestia said, withdrawing the needle.

"Bitch!"

"You're welcome," Celestia said. "Now let's deliver this foal." Velvet rolled onto her back again. Celestia helped to set her leg back into the stirrup. The epidural eliminated the pain in moments so that it wasn't the world-ending, all-consuming body torture that had ponies of the past praying for the sweet release of death.

"Come on now, remember to breathe, like we practiced," Celestia said. "And one, two, three, push!"

"NGGH!" Velvet gripped the edge of the bed frame and just held-the-fuck on. Between pushes and her rapid breaths, Velvet let fly strings of vulgarity that would give even a longshorepony pause.

"And push!"

Night Light groggily got to his hooves. As his head appeared above the edge of Velvet's bed, another head appeared between her legs. Oh, sure. He'd read the books. He knew what to expect. But nothing ever really prepares you for seeing a pony come out of your wife. He felt his stomach do a flip.

"Almost there!" Celestia coached. More of the tiny foal emerged. "One more!"

"GAAAH!" Velvet's eyes were puffy and red as she gave one final push. She went silent with the last of the air in her lungs even as her jaw was still stretched in a breathless wail. The whole room fell still.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Waaa!" The cries of the tiny foal broke the silence of the room. Celestia quickly wiped the baby clean and wrapped it in a towel. She gave the foal to Velvet to hold in her hooves.

"We're not done yet," Celestia said.

"What? You mean twins!?" Night asked.

"Not exactly," Celestia said, nodding to Velvet. She gave one last small push. The other end of the umbilical cord slid out, attached to the-

"OH sweet fucking HELL NO!" Night Light turned and tried to climb the stone wall of the room in sheer terror as he gagged. He fell to his knees and wretched violently into the trash can. Celestia cleaned up the mess of Velvet's afterbirth.

"Yeah," Celestia sighed. "They never show that part in the movies, do they?"

A nurse poked her head into the room as Night continued to dry heave.

"Mrs. Velvet's parents are here," she said.

"We'll be done here in a few minutes," Celestia said. "You can send them in." The cadre of nurses worked quickly to clear the equipment out of the room and cleaned the floor. Mostly of Night's own mess. Once Velvet was decent and comfortable, the last of the nurses left, letting her parents in.

"Hi dear," her mother greeted and they stood on the other side of her bed from Night Light. "You look beautiful."

"Liar," Velvet groaned.

"You look better than him," her father said, pointing at Night Light, who was still a bit green around the gills. Velvet's parents both leaned over and looked at her newborn foal. Celestia stood at the end of the bed. Her horn glowed as she closed and locked the door.

"Now that we're all here, it's time for the big announcement," she said. Velvet looked at her sideways.

"Oh? And it's not me being pregnant, getting married, or having a foal?" she asked. Celestia shook her head.

"Not even close."