"Breakfast is going to get cold!" Velvet called into the house. Upstairs, Twilight Sparkle gave Shining Armor a sly wink. She leaned over and reached under him to tease his sheath.

"Hmm, we wouldn't want it to get cold. I know how to get it hot again," she said. Shining slapped her hoof away and pushed her against the hallway wall. It was not a romantic gesture. Without his arousal clouding his judgement, he was in control of his thoughts.

"Twilight, you need to stop this shit right now!" he growled as quietly as he could. "You and I have a lot to talk about, but right now you and I are going to just be normal siblings!" He held her pinned against the wall. It wasn't rough, but firm, conveying his seriousness, without anger. "When we go downstairs, I don't want any of this from you, you got it? No touching, no teasing, no innuendos, no fucking winks across the table!"

"Why? Are you afraid Mom will get jealous?" she asked, instigating him. His lips peeled back from his grit teeth as he held her a bit harder for a brief moment. His sister still knew him better than anypony. And she knew just what to say to cut him the deepest.

"Twilight, I am fucking well aware of how fucked up our sex-ed was. But that doesn't give us licence to act like... this. I just want to have a normal family. I just want to have a normal family!" he repeated. He let go of her.

"Kids!" Night Light called upstairs.

"We're coming!" Shining said. Twilight giggled at his phrasing. He glared at her. "Don't even fucking say it." They walked downstairs and joined their parents and Spike at the table.

"Ah, welcome to the land of the living," Velvet greeted Shining.

"Usually I'm the one sleeping in," Spike said.

"Your mother tells me you had quite the evening," Night said. Shining sat down and slumped in his chair.

"Yeah..." he groaned as he made a plate of food for himself. "Uncle Tender and Grandpa say 'Hi', by the way."

"Hmm," Night nodded, watching Shining neatly cut up his food and eat with small bites and chewing his food. "Glad to see that your manners have improved," he said. Shining finished chewing before he spoke.

"Thank you. And thank you for breakfast, Mom." Velvet blinked and thought to herself for a long moment.

"Wow, I can not remember the last time you thanked me for a meal!" Velvet said. "You're welcome, dear. The Guard really has shaped you up, hasn't it?"

"I told you it would," Night said. Shining nodded.

"Well, in hindsight, if somepony offered to feed and house me for eighteen years free of charge, I would literally do anything that pony asked of me. Yet I know I bitched every time you guys asked me to take out the trash."

"Well Son, that's the difference between knowledge and wisdom. You can't teach wisdom. That only comes with time," Night said.

"And besides, you'll pay your dues when you have ungrateful foals of your own one day," Velvet added with a smirk. Night Light caught her eyes with his nervous own. A brief reminder of exactly what was in store for Shining and his foals. The levity in Velvet's statement evaporated.

"So how are things in the Royal Guard?" Night asked, eager to change the subject. Shining shrugged.

"Fine," he said, knowing he was not at liberty to tell them about his assignment to Princess Cadance, let alone the true nature of their relationship.

"Fine?" Velvet asked of his single-word response. It was just like any other time she asked him about his day. "I see some things never change. Care to more specific?"

"I guard stuff, and ponies. It's really not that exciting," Shining said, mostly being honest.

"Well Spike was just telling us about a little adventure he had in Ponyville on his birthday, turning into a giant dragon," Velvet said. Spike blushed. "Surely you must have heard about that."

"Yeah, I heard the report. But we couldn't get to Ponyville in time. The Wonderbolts were the Alert Five response team for that," Shining said. "I heard you were more than a match for them," Shining said to Spike. Spike blushed harder.

"Not my proudest moment," Spike said.

"And Twilight, what about you? We've hardly even seen you since you moved to Ponyville!" Velvet said.

"I've just been busy with my advanced studies on the magic of friendship," Twilight said.

"And saving the world from Discord!" Spike added.

"Yes. We read about that. Sorry we couldn't make it to the award ceremony," Night Light said.

"It's okay," Twilight said, eating more of her breakfast. "These pancakes are really good."

"Thank you. Spike helped out with them," Velvet said.

"Number One Assistant," Spike said proudly.

"I thought that was Dad's job," Twilight said.

"I supervised," Night said.

"Finish your breakfast and we can open presents," Velvet said. They did so and cleared their plates before heading into the living room.

"I'm sorry I didn't bring anything," Shining said. "I didn't really have a chance to go gift-shopping."

"That's okay dear," Velvet said. "Just having you here is gift enough. That's why it's called your presence." Velvet gave him a small box. He opened it. It was a small jar.

"Coat Coat?" he asked.

"It's a balm for your fur," Night Light explained. "It's to help you from getting chaffed from wearing guard armor."

"I did not know how much I needed this until just now," Shining said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Twilight got, predictably, a book. The History of Hearts and Hooves Day She was, predictably, thrilled to have received it. Twilight gave her parents an envelope. They opened it. It was a card, and inside were-

"Two tickets to the Canterlot Hearts and Hooves Social!" Twilight said. "Princess Celestia sent them to me, but I didn't have anypony to bring with me."

"And I thought it would be weird if I went as her 'date'," Spike added.

"So I figured you two could have them!" Twilight said.

"Oh, thank you, Twilight!" Velvet said. "We are looking forward to it." Shining gulped. He was not.

After a lovely Hearth's Warming Day, Twilight and Spike had to catch their train back to Ponyville. Twilight wanted Shining to walk her to the train station so they could have a chance to talk about things. But Spike's presence made that discussion impossible.

"I'll talk to you later," Shining promised, before leaving her at the train station to report back to the Royal Guard.

Back at the house, Velvet went upstairs to tidy up Shining's bedroom, now the guest bedroom. In her haste, Twilight had forgotten to make the bed. Velvet pulled back the blankets to tuck in the sheets. Her hooves froze. She had raised both a filly and a colt through puberty. She recognized the stains when she saw them. Both kinds, in the same bed, from the same night. The list of possible explanations was short.

She gathered up the soiled linen in her hooves and carried it down to the laundry room, thinking about what to do. What could she do? She stuffed the linen into the washing machine. She leaned on it as it ran and put her face into her hooves.

"Please," Velvet quietly prayed for her children, "Please be careful."

A few weeks later, Shining Armor was about town in Canterlot, taking the afternoon to do a bit of personal shopping while Cadance was attending a Day Court conference with Princess Celestia and the other delegates. That personal shopping was for that of a ring. An engagement ring. A task difficult enough on its own. But he needed to find an engagement ring worthy of a Princess, to be publicly presented. All on a Royal Guard Pony's budget.

"Shit," he cursed as he looked at the rings in the glass case. The shopkeeper watched the stallion struggle to choose a diamond ring. Hearts and Hooves Day was coming up. It was plainly obvious what he was planning on doing.

"Can I help you pick something out?" she asked.

"Yeah, uh, I need a ring," he said. She smiled. Years in the customer service industry had given her the patience for such a response.

"Well, you have come to the right place. We have lots of those," she said, motioning to rings in the glass case, literally right in front of him. "Could you be a bit more specific?"

"Right, uh, I need an engagement ring," he clarified.

"Alright. Did you have a particular karat, cut, or color in mind?" she asked, trying to narrow down his options. He looked at her as though she had ten heads. "Size, shape, or... color?" she asked again, unable to make the question any simpler.

"I- I don't know," he said, feeling anxious. "It just has to be good. Like, really good. Good enough to impress a princess!"

"Ah, well then..." She reached under the counter and brought out a hidden box of specialty rings. It was polished wood with a glass lid. Shining had to shield his eyes from the amount of light that was reflecting off of the massive gemstones on the rings inside. "What sort of price point were you planning on spending?"

He told her.

She quickly put the box away.

She took out another, smaller, crappier, cardboard box. She took out the ring inside and held it up in front of him. He squinted to look at the setting in the ring.

"That's an engagement ring?" he asked.

"Yes. Technically," she said, taking out her jewelers loupe and inspected it. "It has a diamond. At first I thought it was a one-eighth karat, but it turns out that it's actually a one-sixteenth, which is pretty rare," she said.

"Rare? Like rare good?"

"No, it's rare because they don't usually waste their time with diamonds that small on jewelry. They usually get used in industrial grinders or something like that. Plus, this is a beer diamond."

"Beer is good."

"Not for a diamond. It just means that the diamond is the color of piss," she said, giving him the loupe to see for himself. "Plus, you see all those black specks inside it?"

"Mhmm," he said, as he looked. The diamond looked like a Dalmatian.

"Yeah, those are little bits of charcoal. Leftover carbon. It's like a baby diamond that never got a chance to finish forming into a complete diamond."

"Babies are cute," he said. He held the ring in his hoof. The ring itself looked like it had been bent and reshaped into the vague shape of a circle. "What happened to the gold?"

"It's actually brass. The pony that pawned it said that the firefighters had to pry it off the horn of a pony that died in a house fire. They say her vengeful spirit still haunts this ring."

"That's... unique," he said.

"Well, I would rather receive a marriage proposal with an onion ring," she said. "I feel like I need a Tetanus shot just from looking at this. There is no horse hung enough to get away with proposing with this ring. This is literally the worst ring I have ever seen in my entire life. And it is exactly what you can afford."

"I suppose I don't have much of a choice. I guess I'll take it," Shining sighed, giving her the magnifying glass back.

"Very well. Good luck. You're going to need it," she said. "What is the name for the purchase?"

"Shining Armor."

Her hoof dropped the loupe.

"I b-beg your pardon?" she asked in a shaky voice.

"Shining Armor is the name," he repeated. She gulped.

"I, uh, I can't sell you this ring," she said. "I- I have special instructions that I am to give you," she said, reciting the carefully rehearsed words. "That every jeweler in Canterlot has been given. I am to direct you to the Hidden Gem. By royal decree."

"Whose?"

"P-Princess Luna."

"The Hidden Gem? I've never heard of it."

"Think about that for a second," she said.

"Okay. I get it. Where is it?" he asked. She gave him directions to the shop.

"Just go there, and give them your name."

"And then?"

"I'm sorry. That's all I was told to do," she said, growing increasingly anxious. "Now p-please! Just go!"

"Okay, okay." Shining Armor walked out and orientated himself, heading to the northeast. He followed the landmarks to the pasta restaurant that she had mentioned and walked around to the side. Sure enough there was a small door with a small sign above it with the shape of a gem etched into it. "I'm sure the overhead must be low for a store location like this," he said as he reached for the door.

Inside, the store was barely a store. Hell, calling it a closet would have been charitable. In the back of the room was a heavy iron door that looked to be an entrance to a massive safe. In front of that, one unicorn stood behind a small counter. The glass of the counter was cracked. Inside the case was a small piece of paper with the word 'jewelry' scribbled on it. In front of the counter, playing cards at a table, were two gruff, burly, earth ponies that looked like they routinely ate pain for breakfast.

"Whatchu sell'n?" the pony behind the counter asked suspiciously.

"I, um. I'm looking for an engagement ring," Shining said.

"There's a jewelry store down the street, meat-head. Get the fuck out!" the pony said. The two at the table stood up to 'help' him find the door. Each of them grabbed him.

"Wait WAIT!" Shining panicked. "I- I was sent here! My- my name is Shining Armor!"

Both of the earth ponies let go of him instantly and backed away, as though he was a burning-hot, venomous snake.

"Oh shit." The pony behind the counter quickly turned to unlock the combination on the safe door while the two earth ponies stood guard by the doorway. He opened the door and stepped inside. From where he was standing, Shining could see shelves of jewelry and stacks of bits. The pony knelt down to a smaller safe inside and opened it in turn, taking out a jewelry box.

The box itself was worth more than the ring Shining had almost bought. The intricately-carved wood was polished to a mirror finish with gold-leaf inlay and encrusted with more jewels than he could count. He carefully opened the box for Shining. Inside was absolutely the most exquisite ring anypony in the room had ever the privilege to bear witness. It had not one, but five diamonds. Each was a flawlessly-cut, absolutely clear, ultra-rare blue diamond. Each was nearly the size of a grape.

Shining felt like he was about to be charged admission just for the honor to look at it. He fumbled for the bits in his pocket.

"Oh, no sir!" the clerk said. "It's been bought and paid for. Just waiting for you to pick it up." He carefully placed the box inside another padded box and placed that inside a heavy, padded bag. He held the bag out to Shining. "I would suggest that you treat that little parcel with the same love you have for your special somepony."

"Oh, I will," Shining breathed, clutching it close to him.

"I would wish you luck in your proposal but..." the clerk looked at the bag one last time. "Something tells me that luck won't be a factor."

Shining considered the ring. For any other mare, it would be a sure thing. But he would have to give this to a princess. In front of two other princesses. And now his parents. At one of the most prestigious events in Canterlot.

"I think I'll take that luck all the same," he said.

"Princess Mi Amore Cadenza," the door pony announced into the large room upon her arrival.

"Are you okay, Shining?" Cadance asked as they walked into the Canterlot Hearts and Hooves Social. "You seem sweatier than usual."

"I'm fine," Shining lied. His hoof checked his pocket again, making sure that indeed, the box had not sprouted legs and escaped. The ring felt heavier than even the heavy metal it was made of could justify. Keeping it hidden this entire time had been nothing short of torture. He would have been more comfortable at the event trying to hide a boner. Speaking of-

"Shining!" Twilight Velvet greeted. She and his father were both dressed to the nines for the event. She objectively looked, Shining thought, very attractive. "Oh, you look so handsome!" she said, remarking on his uniform. "Cadance!" Velvet blushed and covered her mouth in embarrassment amid the mixed crowd. "I'm sorry, Princess Cadenza," Velvet greeted with a formal curtsy.

"It's okay Mrs. Light," Cadance said.

"Happy Birthday, by the way," Velvet said.

"Yes, Happy Birthday," Night added.

"Thank you both," Cadance said.

"Shining, I didn't know you were going to be a guard at this event," Night Light said.

"Actually, he's here with me," Cadance said. "As my guard!" she quickly corrected.

"You're a personal guard to the Princess?" Velvet said. "Oh, what an honor!"

"Yup," Shining squeaked.

"Princess Celestia and guest!" the door pony announced. Celestia's blue guest shoved him aside.

"Princess Celestia and PRINCESS LUNA!" Luna shouted over him in her Canterlot Voice. Everypony in attendance took a quick bow or curtsy.

"Luna, we talked about this!" Celestia scolded in a hushed tone. She grabbed a cup of coffee from the dessert table and gave it to her cranky sister. "I scheduled this as early in the morning as possible. Just get through this and then you can go to bed."

"Okay," Luna groaned, taking a sip of her coffee. "I love you." Celestia smiled.

"I love you too, sist-"

"I was talking to the coffee," Luna growled. Celestia shook her head and turned to the crowd.

"Welcome, everypony, to the annual Canterlot Hearts and Hooves Day Social! And let me wish a happy birthday to my niece, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!"

"Happy birthday!" everypony said together for Cadance.

"Thank you, everypony," Cadance said as she waved.

"Now then, my favorite part," Celestia said. "Cake!"

The kitchen staff brought forth the massive, overly-ornate cake. Everypony sang 'Happy Birthday' and Cadance blew out the candles. And then everypony presented the birthday filly with her gifts. Cadance had gone through the same song and dance routine each year. Shining just followed her lead and gave her space to interact with her guests. When the last guest gave the last gift, the party started to wind down. Everypony started to have their own little conversations.

Shining felt his heart pounding. It was like when he trained in the Royal Guard for aerial drops. Where a pegasus would fly a non-pegasus into an area of engagement, and then that pony would be dropped with only a parachute keeping them from an early meeting with the ground. An area of engagement. Engagement. Engagement.

Shining gasped. All the moisture in his mouth was gone. He grabbed a glass of water and drank it. Then a glass of champagne. And then one more. He held the empty glass and took a deep breath.

"Go big or go home," he said to himself. He took the glass and tapped it loudly with a spoon until everypony fell quiet, all looking at the lowly guard that dared to silence the conversations of everypony in the room, including each of the three princesses. Everypony was looking at him, waiting for him to say something.

Say something.

Say SOMETHING! his mind screamed.

"Something!" his voice cracked as he tried to speak in front of the crowd, turning the word into a squawk. He took a quick drink and started over.

"Something- There's something I want to say," he managed. "Princess Cadan- Cadenza, you have received many gifts today. But I have one more to give you!" He started walking towards Cadance. "Being your personal guard has been a gift for me. I could not ask for more, but I will." He reached into his pocket. "I would ask for your hoof." He pulled out the ornate box and got down on one knee. "Will you do me the honor of having mine? Cadance?" "Will you marry me?"

He opened the box, revealing the ring.

He looked up at her eyes. They were as wide as dinner plates. Her face was frozen in pure terror as though he was pointing a knife at her. Shining became acutely aware of all the eyes on him. He looked behind her. Luna stood some ways away, grinning knowingly.

Oh fuck.

Oh FUCK!

Shining felt his throat close up. Luna had duped him with a clever ruse. Celestia would have his balls in a vice for this stunt. He would never be able to see Cadance again. He would probably never see sunlight again. And all because he refused to bed the blue alicorn. All he wanted was to be a good, and honorable stallion. And now he was going to die for it.

Celestia looked at him. Her expression was completely unreadable. She could have won a poker tournament playing a greeting card. And that was how Shining felt in that moment.

Played.

Cadance's head turned around to look back at her aunt. Her eyes were filled with dread. At once pleading to spare the love of her life, but also begging for permission to-

"Say yes," Velvet thought, looking on at the scene beside her husband. She was as shocked as everypony else in attendance. Velvet was privy to Celestia's greater plan for Shining and Cadance. Even as torn as she was about the lives of her children being manipulated, here and now was not the place or time to pick that fight. There was only one way everypony was getting out of this, and it was by going forward. The law and etiquette be damned.

"SAY YES!" Velvet shouted.

Cadance's eyes didn't leave Celestia's. She knew her aunt better than anypony else in the room, with the exception of Luna. Cadance was the only pony that saw it. The tiniest, subtlest, barely-imperceptible nod from Celestia. Cadance instantly welled up. She turned back to Shining and smiled so hard it hurt.

"YES!" She squealed, holding his hoof. He stood up and kissed her. She kissed him back. There were shocked gasps from the crowd. But they could not be heard over the clapping.

The clapping of Celestia's hooves, just as loud and resolute as she could without breaking her golden horseshoes. The message was clear. The princess approved, and the rest of you all better damned-well too. Clapping of hooves rose from the crowd into a thunder of applause for the happy couple. Velvet rushed to them and embraced them both in a joyous hug, followed by Night Light. Everypony there came back around again to give their gift of congratulations to both ponies. Velvet walked over to the dessert table afterwards and took a cupcake. She looked at the unicorn beside her and smiled.

"Oh, isn't it exciting! There's just so much love in this room, you can practically feel it!" Velvet said. "Don't you think so...?"

"Chrysanthemum," the other unicorn said. "I'm just here for the buffet."

"And how is the the buffet?" Velvet asked. Chrysanthemum levitated a heart-shaped cupcake to her mouth with her green magic. She practically shuddered as she fed.

"Oh... It's d͖̠̱̤̭e̞͍̖͓̙̗l̪̱̮̣̙͖̱̟̮̞͇̙͈̠̭͈̗̫i̟̺̜̫͕͈̜͉̩̬̳̙̰̘̤͓c̯̥̻̗̬̭̦̞͔i̺̮͎̠̩̰̦͎o̮̼̺̲̭̹̝̰u̲͓̘̣̣͉̠̗̦̻̻̫̩̲͕s͚̫͕͓̯̜͎̙̖̝̯͕̭̳̱̖̦̣."