Alexander and Edward are walking down the path leading from their dorm to the main school building where the pair were last night. Twilight and Starlight are following close behind now wearing the female version of their uniforms, which has a skirt with blue trim at the bottom that stops at their knees. Both Alexander and Edward have some form of music player box on the right side of their belts with headphones.

"I've been meaning to ask, mainly because the majority of people we have seen thus far are wearing them, but what are those boxes for?" Twilight asks.

"As well as being music players, they have a frequency for the academy radio station." Edward informs the equine mares.

"It's normally run by Cera Valentine, isn't it?" Alexander asks, looking at Edward.

"I believe so, at least for as long as we can remember since joining." Edward replies.

"What is this place anyway? I get it's an academy, but what is its name?" Starlight asks.

Alexander looks at Edward before turning to the pair.

"Oh, right... We never formally introduced you to the name of this place." Alexander states as they walk up the hill towards a large fortress looking wall structure.

The group come to an archway which leads through the wall and out into a courtyard where a large castle can be seen at the end of the main path. Edward and Alexander smile at the pair before taking a deep breath.

"Welcome to Kilgharrah Academy for Arcane Studies." The pair state to introduce the academy.

"Snow cone?" A random male pops up between the two mares with a tray of various coloured cones with ice shavings in them.

Edward and Alexander both take a red snow cone. Both mares look equally confused at the sudden appearance of the small human male. He is a bit shorter than Alexander with a regular build, short brown hair and brown eyes. He wears the same colour uniform as Alexander and Edward.

"Sup, Adam?" Alexander asks.

"About as normal as every other morning. Kinda curious about your present company, though." Adam looks the two mares up and down.

"It's a long story... For now, let's just say they are our familiars." Edward states.

"When the hell did you guys get familiars?" Adam stares at the two confused.

"Unofficial version is they exploded into existence in front of us during a controlled magical experiment." Alexander states.

"The official version?" Adam deadpans.

"A ritual spell supervised by Grandpa Ignis." Edward states.

"Gotcha. Well, see you later." Adam continues walking up the path towards the main academy building.

"Who was that strange little man?" Starlight asks, confused.

"That was Adam Rider, he is in the same dorm as us." Alexander explains.

"He seemed... Interesting?" Twilight ponders.

"He is the least strange friend we have and that's saying something." Edward states.

"Remind me what we have for first period again?" Alexander asks, putting away the music player in his messenger bag.

"I believe it's Mathamancy." Edward replies.

"Fuck my life... Woke up before the alarm, denied bacon, caught by gramps and now Mathamancy for first period... Today is not my day." Alexander sighs deeply.

"What's so bad about Mathamancy?" Starlight asks, causing Alexander to groan.

"It's the professor, they don't get along... At all..." Edward states.

The classroom had several lines of desks with a bigger desk at the front which belonged to the professor. Behind the professor's desk is a large blackboard, but there is no chalk. Several students are packing up their things to head out and onto their next class, sitting behind the front desk is a middle-aged man with navy blue hair that has aqua blue highlights, his eyes are a deep ocean blue. Unlike Ignis, he wears an outfit similar to the students male uniform with a blazer, tie, and smart pants with fire red trim. The student desks appear to be two by one in length meaning a familiar can be sat beside if applicable. At the back of the class are Alexander and Edward with the mares sitting beside them. Sitting next to the window are Alexander and Starlight who have their heads down on the desk, groaning. Beside them are Edward and Twilight who appear fine.

"The numbers, what do they mean..?" Alexander groans.

"I have no idea..." Starlight replies.

"It really wasn't that bad..." Edward comments.

"I found it actually quite stimulating." Twilight smiles.

"You would..." Starlight glances up at her.

"I told you he hates me..." Alexander sits up and glares at the professor who simply smiles.

"I think I see what you mean..." Starlight sits up and sighs deeply.

"Please tell me we have something good next?" Alexander asks, looking at Edward.

"Do you ever remember our lesson plan?" Edward asks back.

"Yeah... I'm just hoping you'll lie to make me feel better..." Alexander shrugs.

"Well, I'm afraid it is Literacy..." Edward states, packing up his things.

"Why cruel world? Haven't I been punished enough?" Alexander groans and slams his head down on the desk again.

"Is he always this dramatic?" Starlight asks.

"Not always... Just a lot." Edward comments.

The group spend several minutes gathering their things before leaving the classroom.

"It's not 12:00 pm yet is it?" Alexander asks.

"I don't think so, there hasn't been an explosion." Edward replies.

"Either she is running late or maybe we were let out early-" Alexander is cut off by an explosion which sounds like it came from across campus.

"Now it's 12:00 pm." Edward states.

Twilight and Starlight look at each other confused.

"What was that?" Twilight asks.

"That was the resident clutz/alchemist/midday clock. Her name is Mai Singulton, don't let her last name confuse you, she is very proficient at gravitational magic." Alexander explains.

"So, the explosion is an everyday occurrence?" Starlight asks.

"I never said she was a good alchemist." Alexander adds.

"And we're not saying she is a bad alchemist." Edward states.

"I see... This place keeps getting weirder..." Starlight comments.

"You have yet to see the worst of it..." Alexander sighs.

The Literacy classroom was set up very much like the other one with lines of desks, a professor's desk and a blackboard. The professor this time was a middle-aged woman in her early 40's with long lightning yellow hair that contains white streaks with dull yellow eyes. She bares a slim figure with voluptuous assets, wearing a white lab coat with brown trim, black shirt, brown trousers and black boots. The woman stands at the front of the class looking around before stopping on Alexander.

"Alexander, how'd you make a word a plural?" She asks.

"You put an s... You put an s on the end of it." Alexander replies weakly.

"When?" She asks.

"On weekends and holidays..." Alexander answers.

Starlight looks at Alexander with confusion.

"No, Alexander... Let me show ya." She turns to Edward. "Edward, what's the plural for an ox?"

"Oxen, the farmer used his oxen." Edward smiles.

"Alexander..." She turns back to Alexander.

"What..?" Alexander shrugs.

"Alexander, what's the plural for a box?" She asks leaning back on the front desk.

"Boxen, I bought two boxen of doughnuts." Alexander states with confidence.

Starlight slams her head down on her desk as everyone deadpans at Alexander.

"No, Alexander, no... Let's try another one." She turns to Adam who is sitting behind Alexander. "Adam, what's the plural for a goose."

"Geese, I saw a flock of geese." Adam smirks.

"Alexander..." She turns back to Alexander sighing deeply.

"What..?" Alexander wears a painful expression.

"Alexander, what's the plural for a moose?" She rubs the bridge of her nose.

Alexander thinks for a moment before taking a deep breath.

"Moosen! I saw a flock of moosen. There were many of 'em, many much moosen. Out in the woods, in the woodis, in the woodson..." Alexander bites his lip.

"Alexander, Alexander... You're an imbecile." The woman groans in unison with Starlight.

"Imbecilen..." Alexander mutters.

"What are you speaking German, Alexander?" She looks at him weirdly.

"German, Germane! Germane, Jackson! Jackson five, Tino!" Alexander exclaims.

"Alexander, what the hell are you talking about?" The woman blinks several times.

"I don't know... I don't know, Really." Alexander awkwardly smiles.

Starlight can be heard practically crying into her half of the desk as the professor looks at the clock above the class door.

"Well... I guess that's enough torture for today. You can all go to lunch now." The professor states before leaving herself.

"You didn't tell me it was going to be this bad..." Starlight glances up at Edward who simply shrugs.

"Words wouldn't have been enough to describe what you just had to suffer." Edward states.

"I feel for Starlight, though... That was rather painful to witness." Twilight comments.

"I know, right... She is very cruel." Alexander crosses his arms.

The three look at Alexander with Starlight glaring harshly at him.

"Anyway... Where are we having lunch?" Edward asks.

"Oh no, we are having this conversation! You-" Starlight turns around to see Alexander gone. "W-what? Where-" Starlight turns to Edward and sees Alexander exiting the room in a crab-like fashion making odd noises.

"Good luck with that-" Edward begins to say, but Starlight stands up and begins to run after Alexander.

"Get back here!" Starlight exclaims.

Several minutes later the group are walking down the path from the main academy building. Alexander is rubbing his head slightly.

"You didn't need to hit me..." Alexander whimpers.

"You weren't listening! Plus, you ran from me!" Starlight states looking away from him.

"Yeah, because you were trying to hit me!" Alexander states back.

"Psh, details..." Starlight sighs deeply.

"Seriously though where are we having lunch?" Edward asks looking at the others.

"I believe Adam said he and Robert will be waiting in Sparkles for us." Alexander states.

"What the hay is 'Sparkles'?" Twilight asks, looking confused.

"Oh, right. 'Sparkles', is the name of the main café on the island." Alexander explains.

"Is there a jewellery store called 'Glimmers' too?" Starlight deadpans.

"How did you know?" Edward asks making her groan.

"Never mind..." Starlight rubs her temple.

"The student village is kinda a halfway point between Wyvern and Hydra house. It's also not that far from the main campus." Alexander states.

"What else do they have there?" Twilight asks.

"Well, they have Sparkles Café, Glimmers Jewels, Dash Arcade, Rare Threads, Pink Pies Bakery, Heartstrings and U, Shy's Familiars, Jackapples Tool Shed, Scratch's Hardware, Mack's General Store, Drop's Confectionary, Bab's Barbers... I think that's everything, least what I can remember." Edward states.

"You have got to be kidding me..." Starlight groans harder.

"So... Much... Wrong..." Twilight sighs deeply.

"You forgot 'Valentine's'." Alexander adds.

"Oh, yeah the bar." Edward realises.

"It bothers me so much that there is stores or business with ponies names that I know." Twilight states with a frown.

"That bothers you? I'm just waiting for the painfully obvious punch lines that will come with each..." Starlight sighs.

"I have no idea what you two are talking about, but we are here." Alexander points out.

The pair look up to see the student village before them, which is much less cliché than they anticipated. As the group continue forward the mares relax a little bit more upon seeing the before mentioned stores are not as they feared they would be. Alexander leads them to a café where Twilight can see Adam sitting in a window booth with another male. Above the door is a sign which reads 'Sparkle's Café' in lilac writing with a flare of six-pointed stars. Entering the café, the pair can see it's fairly normal with wall and window booths, some sparse regular tables, the main counter which has a big menu above it on the wall and some pleasant decorations like plants and posters. The group walk over to Adam's booth and upon closer inspection, Twilight can see the other male wears the same uniform as the three, has short pitch black hair with a slightly long quiff and brown eyes.

"Nice to see you finally joined us." The male states moving to sit beside Adam.

"Oh, piss off Robert, you're late more than we are." Alexander slides onto the seat moving around to sit opposite the opening in the U-shaped booth.

"You can blame those two for having a chase being the reason we are late." Edward states as he lets Starlight sit beside Alexander before sitting down with Twilight.

"How does ordering in this place work?" Starlight asks.

"Well, you can go up there and order, but a lot of people just call with an order along with their table number or if ordering take-out their dorm room number." Alexander explains.

"So, what is everyone having?" Edward asks.

"I'll have a #9." Adam states.

"I'll take a #9 like him." Alexander adds.

"Give me a #6 with extra dip." Robert states

Edward gets a phone out of his blazer pocket and dials a number.

"Hello, welcome to Sparkles, how may we help you?" A young lady asks.

"I'll have two #9's, a #9 large, a #6 with extra dip, a #7, two #45's, one with cheese and 8 large sodas, table number 9." Edward states making everyone look at him before he hangs up.

"Okay, I get the two #9's, I imagine the large is for you, the #6 is for Robert, I imagine the two #45's are for Starlight and I, given they are mostly salad, who is having the #7?" Twilight asks.

Suddenly a tiny chibi like pale girl pops into existence beside Robert. She has tiny black wings, pitch black short hair, red eyes and wears a Gothic black dress which has sparse armoured parts like gauntlets and a pauldron on her left shoulder.

"That would be her's." Alexander states.

"What or who is she?" Starlight asks.

"Her name is Nāve, she is a Shinigami familiar." Robert explains.

"Although even the professors were confused at how he summoned such a high level familiar during the entrance ceremony. Especially as he has failed to budge from fledgeling magician since then." Edward remarks.

"Yeah? You're still a fledgeling and Alexander is an apprentice, yet you both couldn't summon familiar's during the entrance ceremony until last night apparently." Robert looks at them both with a raised eyebrow.

"What about Adam's familiar?" Twilight asks.

"It left him." Alexander states with a flat tone.

"Turns out not even a chibi version of a dragon can handle his bullshit..." Edward adds.

"Pretty much..." Adam admits.

A girl with long purple hair that has a pink stripe through it and purple eyes, wearing a purple skirt, white shirt with 'Sparkles' on it and black boots walks over to them carrying a labelled box.

"Sorry for the wait, here is your order~" The girl sings before leaving.

"We are in Tartarus... That's where we are..." Starlight comments.

"S-she... T-the hair... T-the eyes... I think I'm breaking already..." Twilight mutters.

"What? You mean Midnight Sparkle? Daughter of the owner-" Alexander begins.

"Neigh! Don't say it!" Twilight exclaims.

"-Vivi Sparkle..? What did you think I was going to say?" Alexander questions.

"N-nothing... It's nothing." Twilight shakes her head.

"Okay then... Let's see if we have everything." Edward opens the box to begin pulling items out of it.

He hands two burger shaped wrapped items to Alexander and Adam, he keeps a larger one by himself. Edward then passes a box over to Robert with a sealed pot of dip along with a bag which goes to Nāve, making her squeak happily as she pulls out a cream roll to nibble on. Reaching deeper into the box he passes two salad boxes to Twilight and Starlight complete with forks. Twilight continues to stare at the box when Edward hands out the large sodas, making her blink several times.

"How does that cardboard box contain all of that?" Twilight asks.

"Oh, they use dimensional magic with their containers to make an efficient service." Edward explains as he unwraps his large burger to take a bite.

"I don't know how much more of this place I can take..." Starlight comments eating some of her cheese coated salad.

"You think this is weird? You should see the weekly meets with some of the clubs around here..." Robert comments.

"Speaking of which... What day is it today?" Alexander asks.

Thinking for a moment with a chicken nugget in his mouth, Robert replies after swallowing.

"I believe... It might be the 6th of September..." Robert states with uncertainty.

"What makes you ask the date?" Starlight queries.

Before Alexander can answer a small voice is heard outside.

"Expelliarmus!" The voice exclaims.

"Hit the deck!" Alexander exclaims as another small voice can be heard in response.

"Expulso!" Another voice exclaims.

The group duck down suddenly following Alexander as an explosion breaks the windows of Sparkles.

Author's Notes:

This chapter made me die inside just a little bit from how many references we were putting in. I have no idea if it works at all, but my god there are just so many...