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The Train Ride

by Snuffy

Chapter 1: Rosewood

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“Just a minute,” Herman called out in answer to the firm knocking on his door. Knowing who was outside, he made sure that his tie was at its proper place, then gave himself one final inspection in the hallway mirror. The specially tailored white suit felt great and still fit him perfectly.

Herman sighed when the knocking continued and took a few deep breaths to calm himself. It had been a few days since the sheriff informed him that he had been called to the capital for questioning. Herman suspected it was a reaction to his memoirs. It had been weeks now since he’d sent them to be published, and yet there was no response from the publisher.

“I’m coming,” he said and opened the door to find three Royal Guards on his porch. The one closest to the door, a brown earth pony mare with a light-red mane, had her hoof in the air, ready to knock again. The other two were both white coated pegasi stallions, with the left one sporting a cardinal red mane while the latter’s was bright blue.

They stood there dumbfounded, mouths open and eyes wide, as they tried to process what they were seeing. Ponies seeing Herman for the first time always had that initial reaction.

“You can lower your hoof now, Miss—?” he asked, taking the initiative.

It took some time for her staring at him before she finally registered the question.

“Uhm, yes,” she said, putting her hoof back down on the ground. “I’m Sergeant Spring, the two behind me are Private Fair Weather,” she pointed at the one with a blue mane, then at the red-maned one, “and Private Dusty Storm.”

She seemed to have lost her thought for a few moments.

“You are the human known as Herman, correct?”

“Herman Anderson,” he confirmed and made a small bow. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“Good,” she said, and her ears perked up. “Mr. Anderson, we are here to escort you to Canterlot. The train departs in one hour, do you have everything you need?”

“Call me Herman,” he replied, getting slight shivers when someone called him by his adopted last name. “I have a few more necessities I need to finish packing. But please, come wait inside.”

“We…” Spring began but seemed hesitant to decide. There were likely regulations that they had to follow, but he was confident that they would eventually accept his invitation.

“It is kinda hot outside,” she continued, after receiving some encouraging nods from the stallions. “Okay, we can wait inside.”

“Excellent. You may help yourselves with some fruit in the living room while I finish packing upstairs,” Herman said and walked up to his bedroom on the second floor. He had his suitcase already prepared with spare clothes for a few days, so the only thing he would need was his razor and toothbrush. Once he finished packing, he stopped near the stairs to listen to what the ponies were talking about downstairs.

“What do you make of him, Sarge?” one of the stallions said.

“He seems harmless enough,” she replied. “Not sure why they sent three of us.”

“Hey! His furniture has such weird proportions,” the second stallion noted. “I would need to stand on only my hind-legs just to see what's on the kitchen counter.”

“And the roof is way too high,” the first one commented. “You would need to fly indoors just to change a light-bulb.”

“Well, he’s a sort of lanky minotaur after all,” she said. “At least he hasn't built his home like a labyrinth. It looks like a normal pony home to me.”

“He does have a few pony-shaped chairs at the dinner table,” the second stallion said. “So I guess he must have some pony guests over?”

Herman chuckled at their conversation, then fetched his suitcase and headed downstairs. He found one of the stallions inside the kitchen, standing on two legs and checking out the sink, while the second one inspected Herman’s custom-made sofa in the living room. The mare was merely sniffing some red roses from one of the window vases.

“Well, I’m ready to leave,” Herman said, as he walked into the room. The three ponies, surprised by his sudden appearance, all straightened to stand at attention. “At ease,” he chuckled. “We can wait here if you want, rather than at the train station.”

“We…” she hesitated, looking like she wanted to decline the invitation again. “We could wait here for fifteen minutes.”

“Excellent!” he cheered, putting down his suitcase. “Can I call you by your first names?”

“S-sure,” Spring said, a bit taken aback.

“Great,” he said and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the kitchen table, then held it below the mouth of the red-maned stallion. “Want one?”

The two guards in the living room gaped at their colleague, as the pegasus nodded and ate the apple directly from Herman’s hand. While doing so, Herman took the opportunity to pet his neck at the places unguarded by the golden armor.

“Dusty, what the hay are you doing?” Spring asked as they watched him chew an apple with a dopey smile on his face.

Herman stopped what he was doing and backed away. “Apologies,” he said, and held both his palms up in front of him. “Force of habit, you see. Ponies usually love it when I do that.”

Dusty quietly stood there, trying to figure out what had just happened.

“Uh, could you refrain from touching any of us?” she asked, trying to keep her tone stern, though it came out more as a suggestion. “Dusty, what are you doing?”

The stallion still looked confused. “I have no idea why I just did that.”

Herman chuckled again. “It’s part of the reason I’m being sent to Canterlot, I imagine.”

The mare tilted her head at that. “We were just told to pick up a strange creature living in one of Equestria's outback towns,” she said. “My boss made a joke about how I should be ‘wary of the portal-traveling alien with mind-controlling powers.’”

She frowned after saying the last part.

Herman just shook his head. “It’s nothing like that,” he said, walking over to pour himself a glass of water. “I can explain it to you on the train.”

“Seems like a load of horse apples to me,” Fair Weather said and sat down on one of the pony-designed chairs in the living room. “Only the most powerful of magic users can control someone's mind, and you’d need to have a horn on your head to channel it.”

“True,” Herman agreed while playing around with the glass of water in his hand. “I can say with confidence that there is no magic involved.” He then held the glass out to Dusty. “Thirsty?”

“Yes, thank you,” Dusty replied, and took the glass with a wing and started drinking.

“This is all very fascinating,” Spring said, her ears turning back and forth. “But I doubt that’s enough reason for sending all of us."

“The sheriff was vague to me as well,” Herman said, sighing to himself, then crossed his arms while leaning against the wall. “I suspect he didn't believe any of it either.”

“Well, that's no surprise,” Fair Weather frowned. “Those things only exist in colts' fantasy comics. There are no portals leading to alien worlds.”

Herman sighed and pointed at himself.

“Well,” Fair Weather continued, jumping off the chair. “You don’t look like an alien to me, just some weird biped from some far distant island. I’ve seen stranger things.”

“I think he looks like an alien,” Dusty said and stood up on two legs to put the glass back on the counter. “I like to believe something is out there.”

Fair Weather rolled his eyes. “It all sounds like fantasy to me, but I’m guessing it's because of that mind-tricking part that we are all here.” He eyed Herman suspiciously.

“Maybe,” Herman agreed. “I wrote a lot in my memoirs about my life before and after coming to your world.”

“You wrote about an alien world? Where can I read it?” Dusk asked, and walked up to Herman while giving his tail a full wag.

“Well, a pony I know helped me send it to a publisher in Canterlot, but I haven't gotten a reply yet, and since you're here, I assume they sent it to the guard instead.” He shrugged his shoulders, even though he knew ponies didn't fully understand his body language.

“And that is why we are all here?” Spring asked, ears sagging. “We got sent all this way because some exotic creature at the back-end of Equestria's border wrote something silly in his memoirs?"

"There might be more to it than that," Herman said. "I’ll try and explain it as best I can later."

"Well, the sooner we get back, the better," she said and inspected his face. "Say, how old are you?"

Herman found what she was looking at, and pulled his hand through his graying hair. "I am sixty-nine years old, or at least I think I am."

"You don't know?"

"I've only been in Equestria for four years, and I'm certain our calendars don't sync up."

"Well, for a human, I assume that's fairly old?”

He nodded. "Where I'm from I would be regarded as a senior citizen."

"Very well then, it is time for us to move out," she said and motioned to her colleagues to stop mucking about. “Dusty, you help him carry his suitcase.”

“Yes, Sarge,” Dusty said, and walked over to grab Herman’s suitcase under one wing.

“Thank you,” Herman said and allowed them to help him even though it wasn’t necessary.

They made their way to the entrance, with Herman stopping in the hallway to grab his fedora and overcoat that he placed under one arm. The weather was warm only by pony standards, and the nights could get chilly by humans ones. When they were all outside on the porch, Herman locked the front door.

“Will the house be alright while you’re away?” Dusty asked, sitting down on his haunches, while Fair Weather was busy inspecting Herman’s rocking chair.

“It will be fine,” Herman replied. “I have a friend, the local barber, who has promised to help look after it while I’m gone.”

“It’s a very nice house,” Fair Weather said, and gave the rocking chair an experimental push. “It all looks brand-new and custom made. It must have cost you a fortune.”

Herman was about to respond, but Spring did so first. “We’re here to escort him, not to snoop around,” she said and gestured with her hoof towards the train station. “You can take point, at least it will look like we know what we’re doing.”

“Yes, Sarge,” Fair Weather replied, and trotted ahead.

Herman decided not to comment, as their party began the twenty-minute walk on the dirt road leading to Rosewood. “I assume you have tickets at the ready,” he asked, just to start another conversation.

“Of course, you don’t need to worry about that,” she replied and noticed a problem. “Hey! Fair Weather, slow down, will you? Our friend here only has two legs.”

Fair Weather, who now was a fair way ahead of them, turned around. “Yes, Sarge,” he shouted and waited for them to catch up.

“Thank you,” Herman said, tipping his hat to Spring. “My hip isn’t what it used to be.”

“Just ask us if you need anything,” she said, moving next to his right side at a pace much slower than her natural walking speed. “We’re here to escort you to an interview, and it's not like you’re wanted or anything.”

“I have some questions,” Dusty said, and moved a bit closer to Herman’s left side.

“Don’t badger our charge,” Spring criticized, but it seemed half-hearted, as Herman suspected that she was also interested in what he might have to say.

“That's quite alright,” Herman replied, amused by his enthusiasm. “Ask whatever you want, I won't mind.”

“Do you aliens have beam weapons?” Dusty asked, tail wagging.

“Uh, no,” Herman replied, a bit caught off guard. “We do not.”

“For harmony’s sake, Dusty,” she scowled. “At least ask something relevant to why we are here.”

“It would have been very relevant if he had said ‘yes,’” Dusty mumbled.

They left the pinewood forest and reached the edge of the town, which was indicated by a sign that said: ‘Rosewood: Popolation - 602.’

“They’ve misspelled population,” Spring sighed, shaking her head. “I knew this was a backwater place, but that's almost a parody.”

“Oh, don't you worry about it,” Herman chuckled. “The ponies here just act like that to make outsiders underestimate them.”

They entered the town with little fanfare, even though most townsponies were outside doing work. Luckily, the sheriff had already informed everyone that Herman wasn't in any actual legal trouble, and no one paid much attention to them until they came across the saloon.

“Hey, Herman!” a stallion shouted while sitting unsteadily on a chair next to the swing doors. “Does this mean we get Monday off?”¨

“Not a chance, Woodsy,” Herman shouted back, as he recognized the pony. “Lemon Cider is the boss until I return home.”

“What!? That tyrant will have us working extra all week if you’re not here to rein her in!” Woodsy exclaimed, nearly losing his balance on the stool and spilling out parts of the drink in his hoof. “She’s like a demon-mare-beast from Tartarus I tell you!”

“Don’t be such a baby,” he replied, but they had now walked past the saloon, so Herman had to crane his neck. “Buy her some lilies in the morning!”

Woodsy shouted something more, but it was beyond Herman’s hearing. They were nearly at the station when he noticed the questioning look from his escort.

“Demon-mare-beast from Tartarus?” Spring asked, with an eyebrow raised. “Are there more strange creatures living here that we need to know about?”

“Not at all, that was Woodsy,” Herman explained, waving away their concerns with a hand. “He tends to exaggerate everything, but he's a good, solid worker. Still, I was a bit hesitant to hire him at first, as his beer bottle and circular saw cutie mark seemed like a dangerous mix.”

“So you’re some kind of boss around here?” Dusty asked.

They passed a corner and could now see the train station up ahead. It looked abandoned, aside from two young mares on one of the benches.

“Yes, actually,” Herman said and noticed how Spring suddenly got very interested in what he had to say. “For a year now, I’ve been the director of the local lumber mill.”

Spring didn’t seem satisfied with the answer. “Don’t worry,” Herman continued, as the mare gave him a look. “There was nothing shady about it. I had worked in the office for a few months when the former director decided to retire to spend more time with his family. I was asked to take his place, and no one in the factory minded that fact.”

“I assume that is how you paid for your house,” Spring stated, after giving it some more thought. “I hope for your sake that there wasn’t any foul play going on with how you got appointed? Not that I seriously believe in this talk about you mind-controlling ponies.”

“Nothing shady,” Herman repeated, but also didn’t deny that there was something else to it.

Fair Weather was now walking up the ramp and heading towards the ticket house. The train platform itself was made of sturdy wooden planks from Herman’s lumber mill, but besides that, it lacked in features. The small ticket booth was only large enough for the pony working inside it, there were only three benches, and the roof was barely enough to protect you from the sun's heat while you waited for the train to arrive.

They all walked up to an empty bench and waited for Fair Weather to get their tickets. Herman opted to stand with his arms crossed, while Dusty and Spring sat down on their haunches on the floor.

“Aren’t you going to use the bench?” Spring asked, no doubt hinting at Herman’s age.

“Pony benches are too small for me,” Herman said and knew this would be a big issue when they boarded the train. “They are too low down and don’t properly support my back.”

She eyed him up and down, and soon realized the problem. “Will you be alright on the train? It takes almost seven hours to get to Canterlot from here.”

“I will be fine,” he sighed, looking down at the bench. “I still have plenty of muscles left in my back for someone my age.” He paused to think about it. “I will most likely need to lie down from time to time, and walk about the train to help straighten out my spine.”

“That can be arranged,” Spring said, and removed her helmet to wipe away some sweat from her forehead. “We can leave the train between stops to walk outside for a bit. Be sure to tell us if you need anything."

“Thank you,” Herman smiled, amused by her concern for his health. Spring was about to put her helmet back on, but he gave her a quick scratch behind the ear when she wasn’t looking. The mare seemed lost for a second, but when she started to lean into his hand, she suddenly yelped and jumped away from him.

“W-what? Don’t do that,” she scolded, moving two steps away from him. “I said no touching us with those things.”

“My apologies,” Herman said. “I found your concern for my health too adorable to resist. And ‘they’ are called fingers.” He moved each finger individually as a sort of demonstration.

“I knew they were called that,” Dusty said, amused by the situation, and pointed a hoof at Herman’s left hand. “The monkeys at the zoo have those as well.”

“What’s going on?” Fair Weather asked, returning with tickets and some water bottles under his wing. “I bought some water if anyone is thirsty.”

“Herman here scratched Spring behind the ear, and she loved it,” Dusty chuckled, but soon regretted it after receiving an angry glare from his superior.

Spring had a slight blush on her as she put the helmet back on. “I’ll take a bottle,” she mumbled, grabbing one from below Fair Weather’s wing, then jumped up on the bench.

“Herman, water and meals are paid for by the Royal Guard,” she explained, while Dusty jumped up to sit beside her. “Anything else, you will need to pay for yourself. We plan to eat dinner when we get back on the train.”

“Sounds good,” Herman replied and gave his right pocket a light touch to make sure he hadn’t forgotten to bring his wallet. “You guys must be pretty beat after spending all morning on the ride over here.”

“Tell me about it!” Dusty exclaimed, extending both his wings so that Spring got a face full of feathers. “My wings are all stiff.”

Spring mumbled something while she waved away the feathers in her face. “Yes, yes fine,” she said, as Dusty retracted the wings back to his side. “You can fly outside for a short time between the stops, so long as you don’t whine all the time.”

“You should have gone outside and exercised the night before,” Fair Weather said, shaking his head. “That’s common knowledge.”

“I was busy,” he mumbled, with a small blush.

“Could I ask you something,” Herman interjected. “It’s often hard for me to tell with ponies, but how old are you all?”

“Well, I’m thirty-two this year,” Spring answered, and pointed at her fellow guards. “Dusty here is twenty-six, believe it or not, and Fair Weather is twenty-nine.”

“Hmm,” Herman mused, contemplating what he knew of pony families. “Can I assume you have spouses then?”

“I don’t,” Spring sighed, and her ears pressed down onto the back of her helmet. “Haven't met the right stallion yet.”

“I have a marefriend waiting for me to come home,” Fair Weather said, smiling. “Not sure what I would do without her.”

Dusty was more energetic in his response, as he jumped off the bench and retrieved a photograph of a mare from somewhere under his armor, then shoved it into Herman’s hand. The picture had a yellow earth pony on it wearing a white cap with a dog symbol.

“That’s Wild Heart,” Dusty said and grinned wildly at the picture. “We met when the guard was sent out to help some animals during a forest fire, and we instantly bonded while cleaning a duck covered in soot.”

“Seems like a nice mare,” Herman said and noticed how chubby she was around the waist. “Having foals?”

“Nope,” Dusty said, tilting his head. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no reason,” he replied, and cleared his throat. “I was curious that’s all.”

Herman was glad that ponies were hard to offend.

“How about your family?” Dusty asked while returning his photo beneath his chest armor. “Got a cool alien wife?”

“I do have an old photo, actually,” Herman said and fished out his wallet. “My wife and daughter.” He took out the only remaining picture he had of them, and all three ponies gathered around to see the photo.

“So that's what a human female looks like,” Fair Weather said, eyeing it up and down. “I assume the short one is your daughter?”

“Correct, her name is Freja,” he said and felt a lump building in his throat while the ponies were occupied with admiring the photo.

“I think your wife looks pretty,” Spring said. “I like her blond mane.”

“Lena is her name.”

“You look a lot younger in this picture,” Dusty noted. “And what's that cool symbol on your daughter’s shirt?

“I-it’s a comic book thing,” Herman explained. “The symbol of a hero dressed up as a bat.”

“Like batpo—” Spring said, but stopped abruptly when she found Herman staring blankly into the distance.

“Herman? Are you okay?”

“I-it’s nothing,” he said and returned the picture to his wallet. ”I’m sorry.” He hastily put the wallet back into his pocket.

“What's wrong?” Dusty asked, ears moving in random directions.

“Nothing. So that’s my family,” he said, then paused to take a few deep breaths. “It's been a long time since I last saw them.”

“Well, you should go home and visit them after our business in Canterlot is done,” Spring said, switching her focus to somewhere along the rails. “I hear the train coming.”

Herman saw the train before he heard the rumblings of the train engine, and the locomotive looked as ridiculous as always. The two mares across the platform had left their seats and were now waving at him. He shook back, recognizing them as two local girls.

“Friends of yours?” Spring asked while observing the two cheerful mares.

“Acquaintances, they work in the saloon,” he replied, pausing as the train’s brakes screeched. “They are most likely heading to Dodge City to purchase cider.”

The train came to a halt, and an earth pony wearing a conductor’s vest leaped out to stamp the tickets from the two mares, then motioned them inside. The stallion waved their group to step forward, only pausing to stare up at Herman.

“Tickets for three adults and one senior heading to Canterlot,” Fair Weather said, showing him the tickets, but the stallion was transfixed with Herman, and only responded when Fair Weather cleared his throat.

“Oh, sorry,” the stallion said, and fished out a stamp from his front pocket with his mouth, and marked each of the tickets with an ink replica of his cutie mark, a notebook, and pencil. “I assume the tall guy is the senior?”

“Yup, he is,” said Dusty, and was the first one to board. “He’s also an alien!”

Spring mumbled something that Herman couldn’t quite hear, but by her scowling, he figured she didn’t approve of Dusty’s shenanigans. She went in after him, followed by Herman, who had to bend his back to fit through the door. Luckily, the inside was tall enough for him to stand straight. The front car was empty except for the two mares who had taken the front cabin.

“We’ll take the wagon in the back,” Spring said, turning her head to look back at him. “There aren’t many travelers between here and Dodge, but it can get cramped between Ponyville and Canterlot.”

They made their way through a dozen wagons, and like Spring said, they were all empty except for the dining car, where a mare and stallion where busy kneading dough. The one in the back had four bunks, split into two sections by a wall, and was likely used as a sleeping area during night trips.

Dusty stood on his hind legs to put Herman’s suitcase into the storage compartment and took a seat on the left side, followed by Spring, who sat down next to him.

“Any problems?” Spring asked when Herman just stood there blocking the opening. The entrance to their bunks lacked a door, which was a typical thing when it came to ponies, as it wasn’t uncommon for pony homes to only have a door at the entrance and bathroom.

“Nothing,” Herman replied, putting away his hat and overcoat. He sat down on the right bunk, trying to find a comfortable position, but the bed was placed so low that his legs were at an odd angle, and the wall behind him was a poor spot for him to rest his back against properly.

Fair Weather trotted in next, then leaped up to sit next to Spring. The three ponies sat side by side, facing him, as he struggled with finding the least uncomfortable position.

“Are you going to spend the whole journey in armor?” Herman asked as the three ponies hadn’t even removed their helmets.

“We’re your escort, Herman,” Spring replied, lifting her head high in the air, then tapped twice with a hoof against her helmet, which made a clunking noise for emphasis. “We need to be prepared if something happens.”

Dusty and Fair Weather seemed less than enthusiastic about her proclamation. Herman wondered what they could be guarding him against until he remembered the attack on their capital. “What exactly are you protecting me against?”

“Who knows?” Spring said, tilting her head slightly as if reminiscing about something. “We are just following orders.” She turned her head in Dusty’s direction. He was already looking bored. “Speaking of, Dusty, I want you to take first watch at the entrance to this wagon.”

“Aww, why me?” Dusty complained but leaped down regardless. “Do we have to do that?”

“Yes, make sure nopony enters without my permission,” she replied, motioning towards the hallway with a hoof.

“There is virtually no one else on this train,” Herman pointed out, as Dusty walked out to the corridor. “Did you spend the trip over here like this as well?”

Spring hesitated, both ears flinching away from his direction. “N-no, we spent the trip here without armor.”

“How about you remove it for the return trip as well?” Herman asked. “I’m certain nothing bad will happen. I’ve lived in Equestria for four years without any incidents.”

“It would be nice,” Fair Weather chimed in. “So long as one of us guards the entrance it should be fine.”

“It would make me feel more comfortable,” Herman continued.

“Alright, alright,” Spring said, holding up both hooves in resignation. “I’ll allow it in this cabin, and only as far as Ponyville.”

Fair Weather gave a wide grin and took off his helmet. The stallion’s blue mane remained in almost a mohawk position, while Spring’s hair was longer and laid smoothly across her back in a well combed and orderly manner. The ponies moved to the floor next and undid the clasps around the metal protecting the front of their necks, then shook their bodies while backing out of their chest armor. To Herman, it looked uncannily like how his dog used to try and get out of its woolen sweater after they had been outside during the winter months.

When Spring got out of her armor, she turned to him. “What about you Herman, aren’t you warm underneath all that clothing?”

“I’m don’t mind the heat,” Herman replied while studying both their cutie marks. Spring had a Snowdrop, while Fair Weather’s mark was a baby rattle of all things. “Are you good with kids, Fair Weather?”

“Yeah,” he replied while leaping back up on the bunk “How did you know?”

“Just a hunch,” Herman said and moved his arms behind him for support. “Spring, I guess that your talent is to help plants grow after winter?”

“That, and help with Winter Wrap Up,” she confirmed, as she laid down on her stomach in a curled-up position while still facing him. Herman had to admit that she looked pretty and regal with her combination of mane and eyes.

“So, Herman,” she continued. “You said at your house that you could explain why we’re all here heading to Canterlot.” She paused as Fair Weather settled down on his haunches next to her. “You mentioned memoirs?”

Herman thought about how much he should tell them but figured there was no point in holding back now. “Yes,” he said, “I figured that is the reason, but I think my explanation will require a fair amount of backstory.”

“We have seven hours,” Fair Weather remarked.

“True,” he said. “You see, it all started the day I suddenly woke up in Equestr—” He paused, as the train’s steam whistle announced that it was leaving the station soon. “As I was saying, I woke up in Equestria, and I had no idea how I got here.”

“I thought you said you were sent here through a portal?” Fair Weather questioned, looking skeptically at Herman with his head tilted.

“That was speculation on my part,” Herman answered, and gave out a long sigh. “The alternative explanation is somewhat depressing.”

“And what would that be?” Spring asked, and judging by her carefree demeanor she still wasn’t buying his claims of being from another world.

“That I died, and this is some sort of afterlife,” he muttered. “That was my initial belief.”

“Herman, you are not dead,” Fair Weather said while rolling his eyes.

“Not here, at least,” he replied. “The last memories I have of my old world were walking out of the supermarket with two bags of groceries. Just before I get to my car, the memory stops.” The train started moving. “I want to believe I fell through some weird portal because that way there is still hope of one day returning. But, the grim truth is likely that I had a stroke, and I’m here because some divine being wanted me to do something before I move on completely.”

The two ponies looked at each other as the train moved away from Rosewood. Their silence continued for a while, and Herman was about to proceed with his story when Spring spoke up first.

“Herman, please listen to me,” she said and resumed to sitting on her haunches while looking at him with a straight-faced expression. “You are not dead, and you didn’t fall through a portal between worlds because there is no such thing.” Herman opened his mouth to reply, but she silenced him with an outstretched hoof. “What you describe could mean you were teleported, displaced by a magical disaster, or most likely just moved here while you were unconscious.”

Herman was about to interject again, but she wasn’t finished. “Herman, if you would show us on a map which island your people live on we could send you back by boat or airship.”

“I am certain that there is no way back,” Herman sighed and felt his posture begin to sag.

“Herman, why did you never tell the Royal Guard about this? We would have helped you. If this is true, then your family doesn’t even know what happened to you. This is serious.”

It felt like a lump of lead weighed down on his stomach, but he could only shake his head. He was surprised when Fair Weather went over to his bunk to sit down beside him, then placed a hoof on his shoulder without saying a word.

“I’m fine,” Herman said, but the stallion didn’t remove his hoof. “Actually, the Mayor of Rosewood helped me send a letter to the princess, asking her if there were ways to travel through portals or between worlds. The answer I received was that there existed no such thing.”

“‘How can you be sure you’re in a different world?” Fair Weather asked.

Herman took a few deep breaths and gently removed the hoof from his shoulder. “Because, there is no uncharted land left on my planet,” he explained. “There is simply no way we share the same world.”

Fair Weather exchanged a look with Spring, who merely shook her head.

Herman knew he wouldn’t be able to convince them. “Let’s leave that behind us for now. Shall I continue the story?”

They both nodded.

“So, there I was in Doctor Herbal Remedy’s clinic. Some foals playing out in the woods had found me unconscious on the ground, and when I woke up, I was feverish and stricken by pneumonia.”

He had to pause for a moment to think back, looking out the window at the passing trees. They would still be traveling inside the thick forest for another hour if his memory of Equestria's geography was correct.

“The ponies nursed me back to health, both mentally and physically. When I was healthy enough to walk again, I returned to the forest where they had found me and searched all day for a way home. I never found one, no matter hard I tried.”

Herman looked at Spring and smiled at her. “The ponies were all kind to me, they sheltered and fed me while I wasted my days scouring the forest. I couldn’t rely on their kindness forever, so I started helping with various tasks, mostly carpentry and the like. They always overpaid me for my services and often invited me to dine with their families.

“I rented a room from the local barber, a pegasus named Glitter Wing, who often supported me during the difficult times. The days became weeks and the weeks months, as I learned about pony culture. The mayor even sent in registration forms to Canterlot, making me an official citizen just like that, and it was also at that time the mayor offered to send a letter to the palace.”

“Wait for a second,” Spring said and pointed a hoof at him. “Why didn’t you visit the princess in person? Celestia is the most knowledgeable pony in the world, and she could tell you where your people are from.”

Herman shook his head. “I was afraid to leave town and buried myself in work because, at that point, I was convinced that there was no way for me to return home.”

“Afraid of Celestia?” Fair Weather scoffed. “Every nation knows about her kind-hearted nature.”

“We’ll see if we can schedule a meeting with the princess while we’re in Canterlot,” Spring said, sounding cheerful. “Now, please continue with the story.”

“Where was I?” Herman mused, “Ah yes, I had been in Rosewood a few months, and I already knew everyone by name. I had earned enough to apply for a mortgage on my house, which was in a much poorer condition at the time. Glitter Wing was sad to see me leave, but I didn’t want to impose on her any longer. She was the closest friend I had, even if she was always terrible at cutting my hair.

“I started to work more and more at the local lumber mill, but mainly with helping Lemon Cider with her paperwork. As time went on, I also assisted Short Fund, the director at the time, more and more with managing the company. When a year had passed, Short Fund decided to retire and spend time with his family in Dodge City. He wanted me to be the new director, and all the working ponies at the factory gave me their vote of confidence.”

Herman paused to see if they had any questions. Spring had gone back to laying down, while Fair Weather still sat beside him looking thoughtful.

“I still don’t understand how that ties into why we are here,” Fair Weather said, as he pulled his left wing in front of himself and carefully went over the feathers with his hoof.

“Please, continue,” Spring encouraged.

“Well, to stick to the relevant parts,” Herman said, and shuffled around on the bench, “business began booming after I became the director. I renovated my home, and it was during the time of my sixty-eighth birthday party when we first heard about the changeling attack on Canterlot.”

Both ponies turned their ears at that.

“We were celebrating my place at the time, with neighbors and work colleagues when the sheriff came knocking on my door. The train had come with news about the attack, but we didn’t know how it had ended yet. Worse still, Glitter Wing had left town the day before to attend the wedding.”

Spring and Fair Weather once more exchanged glances, and this time their eyes and ears were alert. When they turned back to him again, he coughed into his fist. “Like I was saying, everyone was terrified, as we had no idea what was going on until the next train showed up. Luckily, it arrived with a few Royal Guards from Dodge City, who told us that everything was alright and that the wedding had continued as planned. Glitter Wing returned the next day in a rough state, as she had flown away from Canterlot when the fighting started and didn’t rest until she was back in Rosewood.”

Herman thought back to that night when a battered and terrified Glitter had knocked on his door. He had let her inside and comforted her on the couch, and they’d eventually spent the night in his bed, with him holding her in one arm while she shook and sobbed into his side. She had been calmer in the morning, but the dark bags under her eyes had lasted a week.

“Were you three at the wedding when it happened?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Spring sighed, and her eyebrows twitched at his question. “Dusty and I were posted at the palace gatehouse when the shield came down, and we barely had time to react before our legs were plastered in green goo from above.” Her tail moved like a whip as she continued. “We were stuck standing there, as the changelings chased ponies in the street.” She nodded at Fair Weather. “Private Weather here had more success than we did.”

Fair Weather stopped tending to his wing, and instead used it to scratch the back of his head. “Well, my detachment managed to beat the changelings at the West Gate leading out of the city, and we spent the next hour holding that position while we evacuated as many ponies as we could until Captain Armor's shield catapulted away all the changelings, that is.”

“Sounds like a horrible experience,” Herman solemnly replied, not knowing what else to say.

“All's well that ends well,” Spring said, while still looking sullen. “The damage was superficial, the changeling swarm was last seen flying away from us over the Badlands, and the wedding continued as planned the very same day.”

“I think the Guard’s pride took the worst hit,” Fair Weather explained, earning him a frown from Spring.

There was a rattling of armor outside, followed by Dusty poking his head in from the side of the entrance. “Just wondering,” he said, standing so only his head was visible. “When are we ordering lunch?”

“We can do so now,” Spring said, and jumped down from the bunk. There were some pamphlets in a net sack below the window, and she took out four of them. “Here is the menu; you are free to order anything you want, courtesy of the guard.”

Herman took the menu she offered and went through the pages. They were mostly a variety of breads and salads.

“Fair,” Spring said, getting the stallion's attention. “Get your armor back on and go with Dusty to the food wagon. We’ll eat here.”

“Yes, Sarge,” he replied, leaving Herman’s side without questioning why they needed two ponies for the job.

“What do you want to order, Herman?” Dusty asked.

“I’ll have the tuna salad with orange juice, please,” Herman replied and put away his pamphlet. He didn’t know why Spring had sent Fair Weather away but assumed he would find out soon enough.

“I’m fine with a small portion of tomato soup,” Spring said.

Dusty waited for Fair Weather to get his armor back on, then the two stallions trotted outside. Herman could barely hear Dusty saying, ‘Did I miss anything?’ before they left the wagon.

Spring went back to her bunk, but this time sat herself down right in front of Herman. He knew something was up, so he opened his arm wide with the front of his palms open. “What’s the matter?”

“Herman, I must tell you something, and it might come as a shock,” she said, with a neutral expression. “But I suspect the pony you know as Glitter Wing could be a changeling in disguise.”

Herman raised his eyebrow at that. “What?” he said, not knowing how she had come to such a conclusion. “I’ve known her since I got here, why would you say such a thing?”

“You mentioned that she was a barber, so I assume her cutie mark is related to that?” Spring questioned with a soft voice.

“Yes, a pair of scissors.”

“But, you mentioned she was bad at giving you a haircut, correct?” she pressed.

Herman could see now where this was going and paused before he spoke again. “That seems like poor proof to me,” he said, locking his arms in front of his chest.

“Sorry, but she also went to Canterlot on the day of the wedding, and regulations after the attack state that we need to investigate these things. A pony doing their special talent poorly has been one of our best ways of finding them.”

Herman frowned but didn’t know what else to say. “And if she’s a changeling?”

“If she is one, an investigation into her activities will be carried out, and then she’ll likely be put on trial. We’ve uncovered a few changelings after the attack. It all depends on what they did in Canterlot, or before that, but they’ll most likely be given a prison sentence if they’ve hurt somepony.”

“How long?” he asked.

“It will likely only be a year or two,” she said, calming her demeanor noticeably. “Afterwards, they’ll be given a choice to leave Equestria or apply for amnesty. We don’t know where they live, so we can’t exactly deport them.”

“And if she has never hurt anyone?”

“I’m no judge, but I know that one changeling was only sentenced to community service for impersonating a pony.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Herman said while feeling the pain building up in his back. He had been tensing himself since the conversation started, and now the strain from his sitting position was taking its toll.

“Because I want you to tell me if you know something more,” she explained. “Did you ever feel woozy after being with her for an extended time? Did she ever disappear for a few days without reason? Did she have any weird memory lapses, or do things out of character?”

“None of that,” Herman said while trying to think back to all that time they spent together. “She’s been the same pony ever since I met her. Are you telling me she might have been replaced at one point?”

“Maybe. It has happened once or twice. All the changelings we’ve captured so far swear that they would never truly hurt a pony, but they might temporarily keep them in pods when they take their place and afterward alter some of their memories before releasing them when their mission was complete.”

Herman felt a trickle of sweat form on his brow, and he looked down on his lap with his hand on his forehead. Spring misinterpreted the gesture, most likely believing that he was in shock from hearing about Glitter.

“Don’t worry,” she said, with a soft voice. “If she is a changeling, then most likely she was sent here years ago. We won’t harm her, and our potions and spells for detecting them are perfectly safe.”

“I believe you,” he said, and slowly stood up. “At least on the ‘not hurting part.’”

“Herman, are you okay?” she asked worriedly.

“I will be,” he replied, taking several deep breaths, then he stretched his spine as much as possible. “I think I tensed myself too much and forgot how badly I was seated.”

“Please, try not to strain yourself,” she said and motioned to him to come over to her bunk. “Come over here so I can get a better look at you.”

Herman hesitated. There was nothing she could do, but he decided to humor her. When he moved closer, Spring stood up on her hind legs, and with the added height of the bed, she was able to get close to his face. She took his head with both hooves and moved him until they were face to face. There were staring into each other's eyes, and while she searched for any signs of illness, he admired her brown eyes and lush eyelashes.

“You look paler than when we met,” she noted, after having put a hoof on his forehead. The gesture seemed futile without knowing the average human temperature. “We have pills that will ease the pain. Can your species handle our medicine?”

“Yes, the doctor in Rosewood said that most pony medicines were safe for me to use, so long as I take a correct dosage.” He gently removed her hoof with his hand and backed away from her. “I will need to stand straight for a while, and find a way to sit without it bothering me so much.”

She looked around the room. “We could get you some more pillows,” she offered. “Maybe you should lie down?”

“No,” Herman said, and started to unbutton his jacket. “I need to get out of this suit.” He slowly took the jacket off while Spring watched him, and put it next to where he had hung his overcoat. Next, he removed his tie, and as soon as the knot was loosened, he immediately felt far less constrained, even if there were still pearls of sweat forming on his brow.

He was rolling up the sleeves of his shirt when Spring spoke up. “Herman, are you okay?”

“Of course I’m not okay,” he muttered and moved to stand with his back against the window. “You just told me my best friend is either kept in a pod or might be sent to prison.” He put his right hand on his forehead. “How would you feel after hearing such a thing?”

“I’m sorry, but this needs to be checked out for everypony’s safety,” she said while looking down at the bed with her ears folded. “I’m sure it will work out in the end.”

“When?”

“Excuse me?” she asked, looking up at his eyes.

“When will you question her?”

“I will dispatch guards to Rosewood while we are in Canterlot.”

“Well, you’ve done a poor job of making me want to cooperate with you.”

Spring had no reply to that and just sat there looking downcast. Herman felt that he was maybe too harsh, as she was only doing her job to help keep her fellow ponies safe. He knew how ponies dealt with those who break the law, and the heavy emphasis on rehabilitation over punishment.

Herman was about to try and reconcile, but he was interrupted by her ears suddenly standing at alert. He couldn’t hear the rustling of armor until it was almost outside the door, which was followed by Dusty pushing a two-layered cart containing steaming bowls.

“Food’s done!” he proclaimed and trotted into their cabin while oblivious of the tension in the room. “Fair will be here in a minute with your grub, Herman.”

Spring sniffed the air around the cart, and her sullen mood instantly turned to a more cheerful one as she adopted a cat-like smile. Herman could only chuckle at her typical pony behavior, but his aching back made the air get caught in his throat, almost turning the chuckle into a coughing fit.

Spring noticed his problem. “Dusty, I want you to go back to the lunch wagon and ask for some painkillers,” she ordered, pointing a hoof at the front of the train. “Ask the cooks if they have anything.”

Dusty looked back and forth between Herman and Spring until something seemed to click in his mind, and he gave her a salute and quickly trotted out. Just as Dusty went around the corner, Fair Weather came in, pushing the second cart.

Fair Weather left it on Herman’s side of the bunks, then jumped up to sit next to Spring, who was salivating over her lunch. The way ponies ate, directly from the bowl, was nothing new to Herman, but he was happy to see that there was a pair of utensils for him, though it would be hard for him to sit down and eat without any legroom between his bunk and the cart.

Instead, he walked up and took the bowl in one hand and the fork in the other. The dish was cold, and mostly contained celery with some onions and parsley covered with mayonnaise, and lastly seasoned with black pepper. The tuna itself was diced into small cubes and was almost invisible unless you knew where to look. It was not uncommon for ponies to hide the fish parts in any dish, as most ponies were squeamish about eating meat, even if they needed to eat a small amount of it each week to keep a healthy diet.

Herman remembered his first year in Equestria, and how he had decided to spend his leisure time fishing in the many lakes and rivers. It would have been a nice hobby, providing him with a source of protein and relaxation, but the fish in Equestria were apparently not interested in the bait. It had taken him days of not catching anything until he finally gave up, but the straw that broke the camel's back was when he met Blue Dive, the pegasus that worked in the local cafeteria. Herman had been sitting next to a lake at the time, and was about to give up on fishing entirely, when Blue had dived into the water out of nowhere, and resurfaced with a carp sprawling in his grinning mouth.

“Herman?” Spring said, sounding worried.

He blinked, and his eyes moved from side to side trying to get a sense of where he was. The two ponies had stopped eating and watched him as he stood there with his mind drawing blanks.

“Sorry,” he said, “I spaced out there for a moment.”

“Not really what you expect from a mind-bending alien.” Fair Weather scoffed, and got a slight smack on his shoulder from Spring.

Herman ignored them and tried the salad, which was surprisingly tasty. He didn’t quite know how to convince them until an idea popped into his head.

“Tell me,” Herman began, “didn’t you two think it was strange when you all stood at attention after I entered the kitchen at my house?”

“Not really,” Spring replied. “You surprised us.”

“Spring, you wanted to help me get an audience with the princess herself. Have you ever offered to do so much for a complete stranger before?”

“Uh, no?” she replied, seemingly lost at what he was getting at. “I just wanted to help you.”

“Fair Weather,” he continued, pointing his fork at the pegasus. “You don’t seem like the kind of stallion that would get all personal with a stranger.”

“Hey,” Fair Weather protested. “I’m a nice guy,”

“And lastly, do you all remember when I gave Dusty that apple?” Herman pressed. “Have you ever seen him behave like that? You all know each other. I could be wrong, but think back to the time when you meet me and ask yourselves—are you and your friends acting normally?”

There was a pause in the room. Both ponies were silent. The movement was minuscule, but Herman noticed that they slowly backed away from him.

Next Chapter: Dodge City Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 45 Minutes
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