Chapter 96

It was just before dawn when my truck rolled up and parked in front of the shy girl’s house. The double arch that stretched across the windshield, where it had been swept clean by the wipers, was the only visible part of the old machine; the rest of it was completely caked in mud, from top to bottom.

The doors popped open, echoed by the dull splat of mud after it fell away from beneath the old machine. The giddy laughter of two sweet ladies poured from the cab as I jumped out, being careful not to touch the outside of the truck before turning around and holding my arms out. Fluttershy stood bent-down on the door sill, pausing for a moment to gauge the distance before she leapt into my arms, making sure to avoid getting herself muddy.

I set her down and closed the door by yanking the inside handle and withdrawing my arm quickly as Rarity jumped out from the other side, then closed her door using the same method.

A giggling Fluttershy and I rounded the front of the truck to meet the fashionista, whose head was twisted around so she could look down her back.

“Ohh Rats!” she huffed. “There’s mud on my skirt! How on Earth did that happen?”

“It’s all about the dismount, Rare,” I teased as Fluttershy, out of the fashionista’s sight, reached out to scoop a tiny bit of mud from the bumper with her index finger. Then she approached the indigo-haired girl, who had now straightened up to face us.

“Oh, um, Rare? You got some mud on your face, too,” said Fluttershy softly, keeping her hand behind her back.

Rarity’s eyes widened. “What? Where?” she gasped, displaying her face in the yard light for us to inspect it.

“Right…there!” Fluttershy whisper-shouted. Her finger struck like a cobra, smearing a streak of mud on the fashionista’s cheek.

Rarity recoiled in horror, as if sulfuric acid had been thrown in her face. “FLUTTERSHY! How could you!?” she screeched, turning the drama dial up to eleven.

While Fluttershy was having a sweet little chuckle over the reaction, I scraped up some mud of my own with my finger and waited for the shy girl to face me. When she finally did —while giggling with amusement— I quickly plopped a dollop of mud on the tip of her nose.

Fluttershy gasped. She froze in place with her fists at her sides, looking like she’d just been tased. “GOLDIE!” she rebuked, making me laugh at how she never actually raised her voice; she just whispered louder.

“HA!” Rarity pointed her finger in delight. “Good one, darling!”

Tightening her lips angrily, Fluttershy wiped the mud from her nose and flicked it aside as Rarity, who refused to use her finger, conjured up a short, sparkling wand to scoop a gob of mud from the truck bumper.

“Now it’s my turn, my dear,” Rarity taunted as she approached Fluttershy with the offending substance.

I watched with amusement as the fashionista stalked her pink-haired prey, who had turned to face her, but was otherwise motionless.

This was when I noticed something pass by in my right periphery, which then landed fairly close to me. I looked at the ground and noticed a white splat only a few inches from my foot, its pale colour picked up by the yard light, leaving no question in my mind what it was.

Reluctantly, I looked up into the treetops that surrounded the driveway. Silhouetted against the dark-blue sky, perched in the vast array of branches was a flock of birds; hundreds of birds, waiting and watching quietly.

Uh-oh.

I brought my eyes back to Rarity, who was still approaching Fluttershy with that mischievous smirk. “Wait Rare, stop! STOP!”

She did stop, and she faced me, looking quite surprised.

I raised my hand and pointed upwards, being careful not to make any suddenly movements. The fashionista arched her neck to survey the canopy and gasped suddenly, then faced the shy girl again.

“Fluttershy…you wouldn’t dare!”

The shy girl faced Rarity first, then me, then Rarity again. From my perspective, she was positioned with the yard light directly behind her, setting her hair ablaze in a pink glow, her face obscured in darkness.

“You two’d better stand down,” Fluttershy warned softly, “unless you wanna find yourselves smack-dab in the middle of a bird-shit bukkake!”

The wand instantly vanished from Rarity’s hand, leaving the glob of mud to fall helplessly to the ground. “OK…OK darling; you win,” she said in a calm and pleasant, albeit nervous voice. “We surrender, just…for the love of god, please, hold your fire.”

Tense silence followed, but it was fleeting; before long, Fluttershy burst with soft laughter, obviously quite amused by herself. “Hehehe, oh you guys! You know I wouldn’t do that!”

Rarity let out a sigh of relief, letting her shoulders drop. “Oh thank goodness,” she breathed, closing her eyes as she placed her fingertips to her chest. “I must admit, you…you had me going for a moment there,” she chuckled, wagging her finger at the shy girl.

*****

Once inside the house, Fluttershy moistened a washcloth and sat next to her girlfriend at the table. “That was SO much fun, Rare,” the shy girl said as she wiped the mud from Rarity’s cheek. “I, um…didn’t really wanna go at first, and I was actually kinda scared, but now I’m really glad I did.”

“It’s perfectly understandable, darling,” Rarity replied. “I never expected myself to be into such a thing, but as it turns out, off-roading is much more fun than one would expect; I, for one, had an absolute blast!”

“Me too,” Fluttershy agreed, leaning in to plant a kiss on the fashionista’s freshly cleaned cheek.

Rarity took the cloth and flipped it around, then proceeded to use the clean side to wipe the leftover mud from Fluttershy’s nose.

“Um…what do you wanna do now?” Fluttershy asked, keeping her eyes closed as Rarity dabbed at her face.

“Hmm.” Rarity hummed grumpily after checking the clock on the stove. “I’m afraid I must be on my way soon. Duty calls!” She chuckled half-heartedly, then her expression flattened. “Er…you know.”

Fluttershy sighed. “It’s OK, Rare. You’ll be back tonight, won’t you?”

“But of course!” Rarity tossed the cloth into the sink. “All clean, darling!” she declared, giving the shy girl a little peck on the tip of her nose.

“Thanks Rare.”

After a short pause, Rarity drew a breath and rose from the table. “Well then, I suppose I shall make myself scarce. I’ve got things to do before work, plus the long drive back to town; you know the drill.”

“Ohh…” Fluttershy rubbed her arm, her eyes downcast.

“What’s wrong?” Rarity asked.

“It’s just…it’s not fair to you to have to drive all the way out here every night, and then all the way back in the morning,” Fluttershy murmured. “We should spend more nights at your place, just to…um, give you a break once in a while.”

“Aww, well it’s sweet of you to consider my side of things, darling; but I assure you, it’s really no problem.”

“Are you sure?” Fluttershy asked.

Rarity paused and rubbed her chin. “Tell you what: we’ll discuss it tonight after dinner, and we’ll figure something out. How does that sound?”

Fluttershy smiled. “OK.”

And after a couple kisses and a big hug from me, Rarity was gone. Fluttershy and I chatted idly about what I was going to do that day, and after about an hour she began her own morning routine while I made her breakfast. Once she was fed—along with the animals outside—Fluttershy was out the door as well, and I spent some time cleaning the kitchen before starting my day, excited that I could actually go out and do things.

First order of business: wash the truck.

A quick drive to my shop and about twenty minutes with the power washer had it looking respectable again, so I hooked the trailer up and headed to town for the next order of business: a new phone.

Once that was completed, I headed to the auto wreckers and spent about forty-five minutes wandering through the multi-coloured sea of twisted metal until I found a suitable candidate for my latest brainchild, and after handing over a modest sum of cash, I headed home with a fully loaded trailer.

After disconnecting the payload and leaving it in my yard, I headed back to Fluttershy’s to set up and play with my new phone.

I was going to text Fluttershy first to get the other girls’ contacts, figuring Rarity was usually busier at work than the shy girl, but then I realised I didn’t know Fluttershy’s new cell number yet, so I was left with no choice but to interrupt the fashionista.

ME: Hey

A few moments passed before she replied.

RARITY: Hello? May I ask who this is?

ME: Ur better 3rd

RARITY: Golds?

ME: ;)

RARITY: Huzzah! You got a new phone!

ME: Sure did. Can I bother u for the other girls contacts if ur not too busy?

RARITY: Absolutely! I do have a few moments to spare.

A pause. Then five contacts popped up on my screen.

RARITY: My apologies, I do not have Sunset's new number yet. If she has one, that is.

ME: No problem. Thanks Rar

RARITY: You are most welcome

A smirk crossed my lips when I thought of something to tease her with.

ME: Now, about that butt sex…

RARITY: I’m so sorry, that offer has expired for now :P

I started to type a reply, but she beat me to it.

RARITY: I’m afraid I must go, my love. A rather large swarm of customers just came into the store

ME: No problem. I’ll c u tonight. Luv u

RARITY: <3

I left the conversation and added the rest of the contacts to my list. Then I checked the time.

1:30pm.

With the whole afternoon ahead of me, I decided to try Pinkie.

ME: Hey, it's Golds. What r u up to?

Several minutes passed with no reply.

She’s probably asleep, I figured.

I decided to try Applejack next, to see how she was adjusting to her new lifestyle.

ME: Hey. It's Golds

It didn’t take long to get a reply.

APPLEJACK: Oh hey. Whats up

ME: Nothin. Got a new phone

APPLEJACK: I see that lol

ME: How r u holding up?

APPLEJACK: OK. Fuck of a long week

I chuckled.

ME: Yeah not sleeping tends to drag things out a bit. U get used to it tho

APPLEJACK: No shit. I hope so

ME: So what r u up to?

APPLEJACK: Not a lot actually. I been doing some of my work at night to kill time, so there aint much going on right now. Pretty much just trying to look busy

ME: U tell ur family yet? They notice you staying up at night?

APPLEJACK: Not yet. And not really sure

ME: U mind if I visit?

APPLEJACK: Aint u working?

ME: I got fired Monday

APPLEJACK: WHAT??? Y?

ME: I guess I have a BADASSITUDE. Lol just kidding, I’ll tell u when I get there

APPLEJACK: What in the fuck is a badassitude?

ME: I meant bad attitude. I Dont know y it auto-corrected to that.

APPLEJACK: OK well come on over I guess. U know the way?

ME: Nope

APPLEJACK: OK I’ll send u the address

*****

Once I arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack gave me a quick tour of the place and introduced me to her older brother, Big Mac, who was busy fixing a piece of equipment. There was some unmistakable family resemblance between those two, and although massive, he seemed nice enough—though he certainly was a man of few words.

Afterwards, AJ and I ended up in the barn, chatting idly back and forth. None of the others seemed to care; as it turns out, November was somewhat of a slow time for them. AJ did in fact say she would have given me a job on the farm right then and there, but because of the season, it just wasn’t economically sensible.

She had already asked on several occasions about going to train at the Riverfield, even though I gave her the same answer each time: she needed time to adjust to her new life, especially the nights, before she would be brought out to start learning. Being trained by me was not something one could take lightly; and no one ever realises how much information they’re going to be inundated with until they’re in the middle of it.

She also told me all about the first night she turned. After leaving us behind at Fluttershy’s, she and Rainbow Dash pulled an all-nighter, during which Applejack was beaten with hammers, axes, pipe-wrenches—any blunt object they could find, really. Obviously, nothing caused any damage whatsoever.

Now, aside from the chatter, I did have a real reason for being there, other than simply hanging out.

“Listen, AJ,” I was saying, cracking my knuckles as I paced around in front of her. “We need to get your strength under control.”

“WHUT? I got my strength under control just fine! I goauuhh…” —she trailed off mid-word and shook her head— “ehhh…shit. That ain’t true at all, is it?” She sighed.

“Not…overly,” I replied, raising a hand. “And there’s no need to be defensive about it. Trust me; I know it’s not an easy thing to deal with.”

“Well…it’s just…” She placed her hands on her hips and shook her head.

“I know you know what I’m talking about, AJ. When we first met, you told me you break things all the time, and you asked me if I did the same thing—which I don’t.”

“Well, you said yer power is different than mine! Plus, you’ve had more time ta get used ta-”

“OK listen—listen!” I cut in. “Just relax. I’m gonna teach you, OK?” I sighed and took a moment to ponder before continuing. “Look…it’s very important to be able to control it; I mean, you don’t wanna crush some three-year-old’s spine because you’re trying to snatch him up before he gets hit by a car or something like that, right? It kind of defeats the purpose of trying to save him, you know?”

She adjusted her hat and then nodded, sighing.

“Plus…let’s not forget what happened to my shower.”

“And my bass,” she added quietly, catching me off-guard.

“I’m sorry?”

She looked up at me. “Oh…my bass guitar. I wrecked it too. Years ago; I tried doin some slap on it, and I…kinda broke it in half.” She looked rather sheepish about it, touching her index fingers together in front of her chest.

“OK, well…there you go.” I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. “When exactly did that happen?”

“Uh…right after high school, actually. I bought another one straight away, but…I broke it too.” She rubbed the back of her head. “That was…actually when we quit bein a band; not just cuz a’ me—I mean, we were all startin ta lose interest in it. Like, Sunset and Twilight went off ta school, so we lost our rhythm guitar there, and Rainbow was all down-and-out cuz a’ her scholarships; Fluttershy just played the tambourine, so she was just kinda there, and...I don’t think she really cared either way. Then Rarity was busier n’ hell with her dress makin, so she barely ever had time ta practice…” She paused for a moment. “Ya know, Pinkie Pie was the only one a’ us who wanted ta keep it goin. I sorta did too, ta be honest, but once I broke my bass, that was kinda the last straw.”

“Hm,” I sighed. “So, you guys haven’t played at all since then?”

Applejack shook her head.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry it worked out that way. It’s unfortunate, but sometimes life just happens, you know?”

“Nah.” AJ waved me off. “It’s alright. We probably wouldn’t be playing by now anyway, bass or no bass.” She paused for a brief second, then clapped her hands together. Loudly. “Well? Let’s get this show on the road then. Show me some shit!”

I chuckled, admiring her enthusiasm. “OK, wait here a sec,” I said, with an index finger raised. “I gotta get something from my truck.”

She folded her arms and then nodded.

Moments later, I returned with an armful of four-by-four lengths of wood and a sealed plastic pail.

AJ raised a brow. “What’s with the fence posts?”

“You’ll see,” I said, nodding to something by the wall, behind her. “Grab those saw-horses for me, will ya?”

“Sure thing.” Applejack went to fetch the wooden stands while I set the pail down, then pulled a claw hammer from my back pocket. She returned and set the saw-horses down for me, and I laid the lengths of wood across them.

“OK then.” I gave her the hammer and then rubbed my hands together, surveying the setup before me. “Here’s what we’re gonna do, AJ,” I said, bending down to peel the lid off the pail to reveal its contents: hundreds upon hundreds of three-inch nails. “Now, having strength like we do can be difficult, especially when you’re trying to do something that takes finesse AND speed,” —I held a hand out and gestured to her— “like doing slap on a bass, for example. It’s easy to control your strength when you’re going slow, but doing things quickly?” I shook my head one time. “That’s when the precision goes for shit. Now, this is very important in battle, particularly if there are innocent witnesses around; if you throw a punch with the intention of knocking out an aggressor, you wanna make sure that’s ALL you do. There’s not much point in saving somebody from a mugger if they’re gonna be scarred for life cuz they saw you splatter someone’s brains all over the wall.”

“Right,” she nodded, looking down at the hammer, gripping it with both hands. “Makes sense.”

“Plus,” I continued. “That kind of thing makes you look bad. If you do horrific things, people are naturally going see you as horrific.”

“Exactly,” she agreed. “So? What’s the plan here?”

“What you’re gonna do…” —I paused to pluck a few nails from the bucket— “is pound these into the wood.” I handed Applejack the nails, then raised a finger before she moved. “Now here’s the tricky part: you’re gonna pound them down so the head is flush with the wood, and you’re gonna do it with one hit.”

She gave me a sideways glare. “One hit, eh? Seems simple enough. What’s the catch?”

“No catch, other than the fact that it’s not as easy as it sounds,” I replied, gesturing to the wood. “OK then, have at it. Let’s see what you can do.”

“Alrighty,” she mumbled, before placing all but one of the nails in her mouth. Then, with the other between her thumb and forefinger, she held it upright against the wood and set the hammer head on top of it. She focused intently and gently bounced the hammer on the nail a few times to get a feel for its position, and then finally, she wound up and gave the nail a smack.

Applejack stepped back to evaluate her handy work.

The nail was only halfway in.

“Dang it!” She clicked her tongue.

I had my arms folded as I watched her, keeping my index finger in front of my chin. “Harder.”

“No shit,” she chuckled as she rested the hammer on the nail head, preparing for the second swing.

I took my hand from my chin and pointed at the nail. “Hey! What are you doing?”

She looked up at me. “What? I’m hittin it again.”

“No-no, it’s already halfway in.” I shook my head. ”Pull it out and start again.”

She glanced back down at the nail, then sighed, realising that starting halfway would throw the consistency of the exercise off. “Right, makes sense.” She flipped the hammer over, intending to use the claw end to pry the nail out.

“AJ…” I said, prompting her to stop and look up at me. ”What are you doing?”

“Ya told me ta pull it out!” she barked.

“Look,” I sighed, reaching out to place one hand on the wood, adjacent to the nail. With the other, I gripped the nail with my thumb and forefinger and yanked it out, holding it up for her to see. “You have super-strength.”

“Oh…right.” She smirked, taking the nail from me. “It’s…easy ta forget. Sometimes.”

“Remember what I said about Flutters: if you have an arsenal, use it. Never forget it’s there.”

“Got it,” she said, pushing the brim of her hat upwards before setting the nail against the wood again, placing the hammer on top of it to gauge the next swing. After a moment of concentration, she raised the hammer and swung again.

Same result; the nail was only driven halfway down.

“Harder, AJ!”

Applejack grumbled as she yanked the nail out, then reset it and held the hammer above it. This time, she wound up and swung quite aggressively, making an audible woosh sound as the hammer soared downward to its target.

The hammer didn’t stop this time. It collided with the nail and drove it fully into the wood, followed by the hammer, which blasted right on through, shattering the lumber in half. Each end flipped in opposite directions, throwing splinters everywhere, causing the blonde to recoil and cover her face with her forearm.

I watched patiently as the pieces landed, then waited for Applejack uncover her face and appraise the scene.

She did, and she blushed, looking up at me.

I smirked and looked to the side, brushing the splinters of wood from my shoulder. “Too much.”

AJ huffed and, with the hammer in one hand, held her arms outwards. “Yeah, no kiddin!” she fired back, frustrated. “Tell me something I don’t know!”

“Flutters’ asshole tastes like strawberries.”

She paused and stared vacantly for a moment. “Huh...I uh, actually didn’t know that...NOR DID I NEED TA!”

I let out a chuckle and folded my arms.

She glanced at the chunks of wood on the floor, then shook her head and huffed. “This is bullshit, Golds. It ain’t possible ta hammer a nail perfectly flush with one hit; the wood just can’t take it!”

I shook my head and held my hand out. “Give me the hammer.” She passed it to me, and I bent down and plucked ten nails from the pail. “Impossible?” I said, glancing up at her. “Let’s see.”

I held one nail between my thumb and forefinger —holding the rest in my palm with the other three fingers— and I set the nail on the next length of wood. Then I rested the hammer on the head. Taking a deep breath, I paused for a second, wound up, and swung.

WHACK!

I shifted the next nail to my thumb and forefinger, held it against the wood, and swung again.

WHACK!

Another nail.

WHACK!

Again and again, the hammer swung until all of the nails were driven into the wood, put there by exactly ten swings.

I admit, I was being a bit cocky when I tossed the hammer into the air and then caught it again before pointing to Applejack with it. “Not impossible,” I said, smugly.

“Man, fuck!” She huffed, folding her arms. “It’s some kinda trick!”

“Yeah AJ, it’s called practice.”

“Pppfft,” she spat, leaning down to inspect the row of tiny metal circles embedded in the wood. She swept her fingertips along the nail heads, checking for smoothness, but stopped at the forth one, picking at it with her fingernail. “Hey, this one here’s not quite perfect,” she pointed out, bending down to inspect it at eye-level. “It needs ta come down a cunt-hair more.”

“Aw shut up!” I grumbled as I tossed the hammer unceremoniously onto the boards. “It is perfect! Fuck you!”

AJ stood again, chuckling at me.

I placed my hands on my hips, smirking back at her. “OK. Well anyway, you know what to do, right?”

She nodded.

“Then I’ll leave you to it,” I said, walking past her to exit the barn.

“Hey, wait!” she shouted, stopping me when I was right next to her. “You want me ta just keep on hammerin away at this ‘til the cows come home?”

I shrugged. “Depends on how far away they are.”

“Ugh! That’s just a figure a’ speech, ya dumbass!”

I chuckled. “Just keep at it until you can do it like I just did. When you get there, give me a shout.”

I was about to continue on my way when she stopped me again. “Wait, sugarcube; do I gotta know this before I can come out to that…Riverfield, er whatever it’s called?”

I shook my head. “No, we’ll have you out there before then. Like I said, once you’ve had some time to get used to the nights and what not, we’ll have you come out for some real training.” I stopped for a moment, rubbing my chin while I thought. “Let’s make a tentative plan for…say, a week from tomorrow?”

She looked up into the rafters. “What’s that, next Friday?” She looked at me again and nodded. “Alright. I’m good with that.”

“Sounds good,” I said, “Meet us at Flutters’ at about eleven, and we’ll go from there, OK?”

“Sure thing.” She nodded. “In the meantime, I guess I’ll…just…keep…nailin.”

I watched her for a moment as she stared at the wood. She looked anxious, overwhelmed even, so I placed my hand on her shoulder to offer some encouragement. “Look, I know it’s tedious and it sucks, but it’s important. Trust me.”

She glanced at me briefly, then nodded. “I know,” she sighed.

“Tell you what;” I said, pointing at the bucket of nails, “when you get that dialed in, let me know, and we’ll take a trip to the music store.”

She raised a brow. “Fer what?”

I turned away and exited the barn, speaking as I went. “Get those nails in with one hit, AJ, and I will personally buy you a new bass.”

*****

That night, I was on the couch, playing with my phone, snuggled between the girls, enjoying their body heat while they watched a movie. I was in the process of setting some apps up and making sure my song collection was up to snuff when I stopped to look up at the movie, making the mistake of asking a simple question about what was happening before I was promptly shushed by a certain indigo-haired lady, who then stated that I should have been paying attention.

It was then that I felt the phone vibrate in my hand.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Hey

I raised a brow. Who the fuck is this creepo?

ME: Hey?

UNKNOWN NUMBER: I see u got a new phone. So did I!

ME: Yeah…who is this?

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Oh sorry lol…it's Sunset

A smirk landed on my face, and I immediately added her to my contacts list.

ME: Oh hey. What's up?

SUNSET: Nothin. U wanna come give me some lovin or what?

After a small gasp, I lowered my phone to obscure it from my girlfriends.

ME: Seriously

SUNSET: Ya seriously. Im itchin BAD

I turned part way to look over my shoulder at the front door. Then I brought my attention back to the phone.

ME: Where r u?

SUNSET: At my apt. I just got home

She’s at her apartment? I chewed the corner of my mouth, confused.

ME: Well I’m at Flutters house. How is it that your horn-dog magic is kicking in from so far away?

She didn’t respond. After a full minute, I let the phone rest on my thigh and looked up at the TV, but just as I did so, the phone vibrated again. I lifted it to see the reply, and was struck by what I saw.

SUNSET: This isn’t the magic talking

The message caused my heart to skip a beat. I stared vacantly at the screen, not knowing what to do.

“Oh my goodness!” Fluttershy’s voice softly rang out beside me, prompting me to turn and face her. Her wide, teal eyes were locked on my phone screen, having seen the message for herself.

“Hey!” I put the phone down on my lap to hide the conversation. “Don’t be reading my shit!”

“What shit?” Rarity joined in. “What’s going on?”

“Fuck…”

“Um, Sunset’s texting Goldie,” Fluttershy blabbed. “She says she wants to get it on, and not because of the magic; she wants to do it on her own!”

Rarity gave a dramatic gasp. “Oh my! May I see?”

“No.” I shook my head firmly. “She must have meant something else, I don’t think that she-“

“Oh Goldie!” Fluttershy huffed. “I saw the texts; she meant it. You’re just being, um…silly.”

BUZZ!

The three of us locked eyes on the phone.

“Well…what did she say?” Rarity finally asked.

Holding my breath, I slowly raised the phone.

SUNSET: I miss u

I stared at the phone, unable to hold back the strong fluttering in my stomach when these words hit my eyes.

“AWWWW!” The girls gushed in unison, resting their heads on my shoulders.

“Hey, cut it out!” I didn’t know why, but I was rather embarrassed by the whole thing.

“I told you, darling; it was going to happen someday. Didn’t I tell you?” Rarity gloated to her girlfriend.

“Mm-hm!” Fluttershy nodded in agreement.

“She said it would never happen, but I knew better!” Rarity continued, shaking a finger in the air.

Fluttershy agreed once again. “Mmmmm-hm!”

“What are you talking about?” I asked the pale beauty.

“She said she could never fall in love with a human, but I’ve always known that to be nonsense!” Rarity gave her head a smug shake. “And I knew it was only a matter of time until the right one came along.”

“What? No.” I shook my head.

“Hm-hm.” Fluttershy nodded yet again.

“I…no! She’s not in love with me. She can’t be.”

“Says who, darling?”

“Says uh, the dogs,” I replied.

“The…dogs?”

“Yeah…you know, different species…can’t have that kind of…I don’t know, kinship…er, romance…” I trailed off eventually, unable to remember how Sunset had worded that particular metaphor.

“Oh dear.” Fluttershy facepalmed. “Sunset gave him the ‘dog speech.’”

“Ahh,” Rarity slowly tilted her head to the side. “The ‘dog speech.’ Yes, I remember.”

“Hey,” I said, looking from one girl to the other. “You guys know about the dog speech?”

“Well yes, darling. She’s told it to all of us at one time or another.”

“Oh...OK.” I nodded. “Yeah, how did that go? Something about…you’re only supposed fuck dogs or something; I can’t really remember now.”

With a groan, Rarity pinched the bridge of her nose. “Oh darling! I think what she was trying to say…may have gone a bit over your head. Are you quite sure you were paying attention?”

“Yeah, of course!” I paused. “Uh, well, as good as I could, anyway. She was naked at the time…and she was eating hot dog nachos.”

The fashionista grimaced. “I beg your pardon, did you say hot dog nachos?”

I scratched the top of my head. “Yeah...”

“Mmm, that actually sounds kinda good,” Fluttershy confessed.

I turned to her, nodding. “They were pretty good, Flutters. Thanks.”

Rarity raised a hand, closing her eyes. “Let’s stay on topic, shall we?”

I glanced at the fahionista, then looked down at my phone to re-read the conversation. “So…what should I do?”

“GO!” they both yelled.

I was taken aback by the response. “What, really?”

“Yes, darling! You must find out if what we suspect is true.”

“That she’s in love with me?” I clarified.

Rarity rolled her eyes and nodded.

“Plus, um…she needs some action, Goldie. You gotta go feed it to her.”

“That’s right!” Rarity wagged her finger at me. “The four of us made a pact, remember?”

“Hm,” I chewed my bottom lip for a moment, then I drew in a breath, sitting up. “OK. I’ll go.” I was about to stand, but I paused and looked back at each of them. “Wait, what about you guys?”

“We’ll be alright, Golds,” Rarity patted my shoulder, and then glanced at Fluttershy. “I am quite certain we’ll be able to entertain ourselves just fine.”

I looked over my other shoulder at the shy girl, who gave an encouraging nod.

“Just go, Goldie. Have fun. We’ll be OK,” she said, just as a sly smirk appeared on her face. “Um, you can borrow my pickup truck if you want.”

I had started to turn away to get up, but I quickly looked back at her when I heard the comment. “HEY! Flutters, don’t even go there.”

Fluttershy covered her mouth and giggled innocently.

“Oh Fluttershy.” Rarity shook her head. “Golds will bury you somewhere if you start with that nonsense.”

Fluttershy stopped her tittering and glared at the fashionista, eyes narrowed. “The only thing Goldie’s gonna bury is his cum, Rare—when he wrecks that little, white bum of yours.”

Rarity gasped and slapped a hand over her mouth. “Goodness me! Aren't you in a feisty mood tonight!”

I shook my head, chuckling as the sweet, but razor-tongued Fluttershy giggled fiendishly at herself. “Wow, you two…just, wow.” I was about to stand again, but then I hesitated some more. “So...you guys really think I should go?”

“YES!” They both shouted, prompting me to jump up from the couch.

“OK-OK, I’m going!” I shouted, heading to the front door with phone-in-hand as Rarity and Fluttershy slid together to become entangled in one another’s limbs.

ME: On my way