Chapter 118

As instructed, I had driven to Canterlot High School and was waiting next to the statue in the front yard. I wasn’t overly keen on this since it was early evening still; the sun had just sank behind the horizon, leaving the sky a mess of spilled oranges and violets in its wake.

It had taken close to twelve hours to get a response from the book. By the time it happened, I had long since accepted the fact that I must have been wrong in my hypothesis: that Sunset Shimmer and Princess Twilight corresponded with one another in the pages of that book, through which our worlds must have been connected.

It was mid-morning the next day when it came; I was sitting on Sunset’s couch, watching ‘The View’ —while wondering why— when the book, which I had left on the table after giving up on it, began to vibrate and emit a purple light from its edges.

When I opened it to the page I had written on, I was shocked to find the Princess’ handwriting below mine, asking who I was and what exactly I needed help with. She was well aware that I was not Sunset, given the unfamiliar handwriting, but she was curious and seemed more than willing to lend an ear, and to see if she could help with my predicament. I hadn’t been overly specific about what happened; after all, it was far too long of a story to explain in writing. Not only that, but there were certain details that I preferred not to come out of the gate with —or write down in Sunset’s book— like injecting semen into sick people.

After a short back-and-forth, she offered to come to this world to offer her services; nurturing friendship was her specialty after all, and she wasn’t about to turn her back on a bad situation over here—despite her extended absence, and even though the one who was asking for help was someone she wasn’t familiar with.

So there I waited: in the school’s front yard, loitering around the statue, giving it the occasional pat to see if the portal was there—only to find it solid. As mentioned, I wasn’t overly thrilled to be skulking around the schoolyard so early in the evening; faculty members were still leaving the building, some of them giving me suspicious looks as they headed to the parking lot, but ultimately not caring as the student body had gone for the night, chased away by the bitter cold.

Speaking of the weather, I at least had the foresight to grab Sunset’s winter jacket before leaving her apartment, just in case the Princess arrived ill-prepared for this biting wind.

The sky darkened by the second, and I continued to circle the statue with Sunset’s coat slung over my shoulder, waiting patiently yet nervously for the Princess’ arrival. I wasn’t quite sure why I was so anxious, but I was, despite telling myself that she was an exact double of the Twilight I already knew —essentially the same person— which meant that talking to her should have a somewhat familiar feel to it.

She just happened to be a princess from another dimension, that’s all.

As I turned the corner to make the next lap around the statue, a familiar blue-skinned figure in a long, black coat jumped out at me.

“BOO!”

Unfazed, but befuddled, I stopped and stared blankly at the visitor, who was now clutching her stomach and laughing giddily.

“Hehehe! Gotcha, Gold Boy!”

I rolled my eyes. “Ugh… you again?”

“Watcha doin here?”

I sighed and turned back to circle the statue in the opposite direction. “Waiting for someone.”

“For realzies?” she asked as she ran to catch up. “Who?”

“Nobody.”

Sonata let out a frustrated growl and then sniffled. “Oh come on! Tell me wh—“

She stopped and stared at the stone block beside us as I continued my journey around it, leaving her behind.

“Hey,” she mumbled, “isn’t this where the portal to Equestria used to be?”

I didn’t respond, but I also didn’t expect her to know this.

A gasp sounded from Sonata, and she ran quickly to catch up. “Hey! You’re waiting for someone from Equestria, aren’t y—AAH!”

I turned to look back when I heard the yelp, which was followed by the dull thump of a body hitting the ground. Sonata had slipped on some ice and was now lying on her side, groaning, her face crinkled into a tight wad. With a sigh, I went back to help her up. “You alright?”

“Eh…” She rubbed her elbow, then looked up at me, sheepishly. “Yeah. Stupid ice.”

I dusted the snow off of her shoulder and then turned to keep walking.

Again, she followed, but was a bit more careful with her footwork this time. “So… who’s coming here from Equestria? Someone you know?”

“No.”

“You don’t know them? Then how do you know they’re coming here?”

I stopped at the side of the pedestal that faced the street and turned to look at the siren. She deserved credit for figuring this much out already, so I decided to tell her the truth. “OK, listen: I’ll tell you who’s coming, but you have to promise not to get upset.”

Now face-to-face with me, Sonata furrowed her brows. “Why would I get upset?”

“Because she helped the girls beat you and your sisters.”

Sonata froze; her eyes widened. “Wait… you mean…?”

I nodded. “Twilight. The other Twilight.”

“The Princess?”

I nodded again.

The siren’s brows rose, a look of wonderment creeping into her features. “The princess is coming here?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “You gonna be OK with that?”

Sonata nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, totally! I’ve already made friends with the rest of the girls—well, except maybe Rarity. But they beat me too, and now P is my bestest BFF now! It would be the BEST if I got the chance to show the princess that I’ve changed, too!”

I was nodding profusely as I looked across the street, only half listening to her. “OK good. You can hang out with us for a bit, but at some point, you gotta give us some space.”

“Why?” she asked, looking somewhat put-off.

“Cuz I need to talk to her about Dashie.”

The siren cocked her head, eyes narrowed. “Oh yeah… what happened with her anyway? She hasn’t been around much since Christmas.”

“Well that’s what I need to talk to the Princess about, and it’s kinda personal, so…”

Sonata straightened up again, taking the hint. “Right,” she said with a nod. “Whatever you need. You just say ‘when,’ and I’ll leave you guys alone.”

“Good. Thanks,” I said, kicking a stone away as the siren put her hands behind her back and stood pigeon-toed. “Hey, how’d you find me here, anyway?”

She looked up at me and shrugged. “I dunno. I hung out at Fluttershy’s house most of the day, but then I got bored and came to town for something to do. I just happened to drive by the school —cuz the road from her house leads right through here— and I saw your truck parked across the street. So I stopped and found you hanging out here.”

“Hm.” I looked around the yard. “You have Pinks’ car?”

“Yeah. It’s around back.”

An idea to tease her came to me. I glanced at her with a serious face. “I thought you weren’t supposed to come to town? Isn’t the Dark Mistress gonna come get you?”

Sonata looked tentative for only a second, but then a sly smirk crossed her pretty, blue features. “Not if I’m with you.” She stepped closer and swung her hip, bumping mine with it. “You’ll protect me if she comes around, won’t you? She’s tough, but I bet you could handle her!”

I sighed and looked around the yard. “I’d like to think so.” I brought my eyes back to her. “You know, I wonder if—“

Sonata and I were interrupted by the piercing sound of energy. Surprised, we turned to see a flickering white light on the opposite side of the pedestal, illuminating the schoolyard for a brief moment before returning to darkness. After a glance at the siren, I turned and peered around the corner of the concrete block, listening.

Sure enough, I could hear talking—not one, but two voices.

First, an unfamiliar voice. “Oh wow, look at this place!” A pause, then: “Br-r-r-r-r-r-r! It’s freezing here! Whoever sent you that message is right: something must really be wrong with Rainbow Dash for her to let the weather get like this.”

Then I heard the unmistakable voice of Twilight Sparkle. “I don’t think that’s it, Starlight. Rainbow Dash doesn’t control the weather here. Nopony does; it controls itself.”

“What!?” the first voice exclaimed. “How are they supposed to plan anything? Weddings, games, picnics!”

“That’s one of the follies of living here, but there are many advantages as well: like their technology, which you’ll see soon enough,” Twilight explained.

“This place is a lot different from Equestria, Starlight,” a third, and what sounded like a young male voice said. “Aaaaand you might wanna stand up; everypony’s gonna start looking at you funny.”

Sighing, I turned back to lean on the statue, facing the street. Their Dashie can control the weather?

I was about to take a breath to psyche myself up and step out to introduce myself, but when I turned to my right to look at Sonata, my heart froze when I noticed that the space beside me was vacant.

Sonata was gone.

I stood quickly, eyes wide as they darted frantically around the yard in search of the blue idiot. There was no time to wonder where she’d gone though; that question was answered seconds later when I heard Sonata’s voice on the far side of the pedestal.

“Hiya, Princess!”

The response she got was a pair of out-of-synch gasps, followed by Twilight’s voice. “It’s the sirens! This was all a trick; we’ve been lured here! Go back! Go back!”

Hearing this, I groaned and cupped a hand over my brow. Shit!

“NO!” the siren pleaded. “Don’t leave! Please!”

“You won’t get away with whatever this is,” the first voice growled. “Now get out of the way!”

“Dammit,” I whispered as I quickly circled the statue to diffuse the situation. When I rounded the corner, I found Sonata facing a girl with soft pink skin who was on her hands and knees, her long, violet hair accented by narrow bands of turquoise. She was accompanied a small, purple dog with green ears, and Twilight Sparkle, of course—the same person, to be sure, but surprisingly, she differed from our Twilight more than expected.

Sonata was standing with her back against the pedestal, blocking their escape. As soon as I entered the scene, everyone turned to face me, eyes wide with confusion and panic.

Sonata actually looked rather embarrassed.

Twilight did not. She took an aggressive stance immediately, balling her fists tightly as she turned and glowered sharply at me. “You! Who are you? Why did you lead us here!?”

Her demeanor was a shock to the system; it was strange to see Twilight act this way. Our Twilight was never this ballsy or courageous in the face of an unknown and presumably dangerous person. This Twilight had a far more commanding presence: she stood with confidence, defending herself and her company with bravado and selflessness.

The dog stood next to her, growling, teeth bared and ready to pounce.

The first thing I did was retreat a step to appear less threatening, hands raised. “OK, calm down. This isn’t a trick. I’m a friend of Sunset’s.”

The princess cocked her head and glared dubiously. “And what about her?” she asked curtly, tipping her head towards Sonata.

“She’s cool, you don’t need to worry about her,” I said, my eyes temporarily leaving the princess to watch the pink girl use her balled-up hands on the corner of the pedestal to pull herself up onto a pair of wobbly legs.

Princess Twilight had taken a glance at the siren in the meantime, and was now looking at me again. “Oooo… K? Aaaaand... who are you?”

I placed my fingertips to my chest. “My name’s Golden Arrow,” I said, as politely as I could. “I’m a friend of the girls; I wrote you in Sunny’s book to ask for your help with Dashie.”

Her expression softened. “That was you? Where’s Sunset?”

“She and the others are gone this week—except Dashie, which is why I called you. I honestly don’t know what to do because... well, like I said, I kind of need your help.”

Twilight took a moment to glance down at the dog, who had sat down and was now looking up at her.

Behind the princess, the pink girl had gotten to her feet and assumed she was stable, only to teeter backwards, waving her arms wildly to catch her balance.

Seeing this, Sonata stepped forward and caught her by the shoulders, pulling her upright again. “Here, I gotcha.”

Instinctively, the pink girl hooked her fists over the siren’s shoulders to stabilize herself, but then she froze when she realised the two of them were now face-to-face. “Uh…” she cringed, unsure of this.

“No worries,” Sonata gave a reassuring, but nervous smile. “It’s OK. I don’t actually know who you are, but I… Yeah, uh, I used to be bad, but I’m not anymore, so you don’t have to worry.”

The pink girl considered this for a moment, then she let an exhale slowly escape, followed by a tiny smile. “Me too, actually. And thanks... for the catch.”

In the meantime, the princess had returned her attention to me. “Alright then. What’s happened with Rainbow Dash? Why is she so upset with you?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but I stopped when I noticed her chin trembling. Then I looked down to find her keeping her arms tight to her body. Evidently, the cold was getting to her.

“Shit,” I whispered, unravelling Sunset’s coat as I gave my answer. “We’ll talk about Dashie in a bit. Here, I brought Sunny’s coat for you. It’s been pretty cold here lately so I thought I should bring it just in case you didn’t have one. Better to be safe than sorry, right?”

“Oh… right. Yeah.” The princess looked down at herself. “Th-thanks.” Indeed, she was certainly not dressed for the weather; a light blue blouse with a red ascot was nowhere near warm enough for sub-zero temperatures like these, and neither was the star-spangled purple skirt she wore. The only thing she really had going for her were the tall, purple boots she was wearing.

I held the coat up and she slid one arm into it, then she turned away from me to slip the other arm in. Then she staggered backward quite unexpectedly and bumped into me, prompting me to catch her by the shoulders.

“Whoa! You good?” I chuckled as she turned to look sheepishly at me.

“Sorry about that, Golden Arrow,” she replied, stepping away to finish putting the jacket on. “It’s been a long time since I’ve visited this world; I’m bit out of practice with these things,” she explained, looking down at her legs.

“Uh-huh,” I replied, watching with confusion as she resumed trying to drag the sleeve up her arm with a closed fist. “Uh… hey? What are you— … why don’t you, like, pull it?”

She looked at me suddenly, a bit apprehensive. “Pardon?”

I pointed to her fist. “Open your hand and use your fingers to grab it so you can pull it up.”

The princess looked down at her hand, her expression filled with determination as she slowly splayed her fingers, then wiggled them around before closing her fist again. “Ugh… I completely forgot about these things. I never did learn how to use them very well.”

“You don’t know how to use your fingers?” I asked, stepping forward to pull the cuff over her fist.

“Well… no, actually. Everypony back home, including me and Starlight here, don’t have fingers; we have hooves,” Twilight explained, looking down at herself to watch me zip the coat up for her.

“Oh, right,” I said, rubbing the back of my head as I retreated, slightly embarrassed about overlooking this fact. Ugh… I should have known that. Also: what the fuck? Every’pony?’

“This is much better,” she said, shrugging her shoulders inside the fresh warmth of the coat. “That was very thoughtful of you, Golden Arrow. Thank-you. I’m starting to see why the girls would be friends with you.”

“No problem,” I smiled, “and please, call me Golds.”

“Golds? Sure.”

After a quick nod, I turned to see what Sonata and the other girl were doing. Then I realised she was only wearing a green V-neck shirt with fuchsia collars and cuffs under a charcoal-coloured vest. Her legs were no better protected; a pair of thin gray pants covered them—pants that were full of holes, leaving significant sections of her skin exposed to the biting air.

“Shit,” I said, rubbing my forehead as I looked her over. “I only brought one coat. I didn’t expect there to be two of you here.”

“Oh,” Twilight faced her comrade. “Well, she could just go back to Equestria. I mean, the portal is right th—“

“No way!” The pink girl fired back, stumbling clumsily when she tried to turn and face the princess. After regaining her balance —again with Sonata’s help— she continued. “I wanna see more of this world, Twilight. We can figure something ou—”

“Here,” I unbuttoned my coat and peeled it off. “Take my coat,” I offered, holding it out to Sonata. “Could you give her a hand with this?”

“Sure!” the siren smiled. She took the coat and stepped behind the pink girl to put it on her.

“Wait, aren’t you gonna be cold now?” Twilight asked.

I shook my head. “Nah, don’t worry about me. Let’s just say I’m not your average Joe. I’ll be fine.”

“Average who?”

I pointed at the pink girl, ignoring the question. “There’s really no sense in me wearing it when… uh…” I trailed off and then looked at Twilight. “I’m sorry, I didn’t get her name.”

“Oh!” Twilight’s eyes widened. “Sweet Celestia, how could I be so rude?” With an outstretched arm, she turned and gestured to the pink girl. “Golden Arr—er, sorry.” She let out a chuckle. “Golds, this is my friend, Starlight Glimmer.”

I gave her a nod and a smile. “Nice to meet you, Starbright.”

She paused to look up from what she was doing. “Uh, Starlight.”

“Ah. Sorry.”

Twilight gestured to the dog next. “And this little guy here is Spike.”

I looked down at the dog with a nod while trying to hide my annoyance. I always hated it when people acted like their dogs were people. “Nice.” I looked up in time to see Sonata fasten the last button on the coat and then turn to face the princess and me. I raised a hand to gesture to her. “Uh… I guess you already know Sonata.”

Twilight looked tentatively at the siren. “Yes…” Hand raised, she closed her eyes and gave her head a shake. ”I’m sorry, I must have missed something here; what… exactly are you doing here with Golden Arrow? Where are your sisters?”

The siren folded her hands in front of herself in an attempt to look solemn. “I’m, uh… friends with the girls now.”

The princess’ brows went up. “Really?”

Sonata nodded happily. “Yup. Me and P are BSFs!”

Twilight looked confused. “BSFs?”

“Best sisters forever!”

“Ah,” The princess glanced at Starlight, then back at Sonata. “And… P is?”

“Pinks. Er, Pinkie Pie,” I clarified, drawing the princess’ attention back to me. “Sonata’s been living with her for a few months now.”

Twilight faced the siren once again, a smile growing on her lips. “Wow. Wow! That’s so great!”

Sonata grinned and looked down at the ground, rotating back and forth on one heel. “Aw… thanks. I’m glad for it, too. The Rainbooms are the best.”

“Absolutely, they are!” Twilight agreed. “And what about your sisters? Where are they?”

The smile quickly disappeared from Sonata’s face. She let out a dejected sigh, which prompted the princess to look at me, wondering what was wrong.

“Um…” I rubbed my chin. “We… don’t actually know where they are,” I explained, gesturing to the siren. “Sonata left them behind to join us.”

Twilight’s mouth hung open, returning her eyes to Sonata. “Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

The siren brought a pair of heavy maroon eyes up to meet the princess’. “It’s OK. You didn’t know.”

I spoke up again. “She showed up at Flutters’ house in the middle of the night a few months back. Said she’d had enough of living like a fugitive and wanted to improve her life, so she came to the only place she could think of.”

After watching the siren for a moment, the princess took a wobbly step closer and placed a closed hand on her shoulder. “You did the right thing. I’m sure it wasn’t easy, but I can already see that you’re glad you did it.”

It was now Starlight’s turn to chip in. “Twilight’s right. And believe me, she’s right about a lot of stuff. The most important thing is whether you’re happier now than you were before. Are you?”

Sonata looked up at the purple-haired girl and nodded. “Yeah… I am. But sometimes I still miss my sisters.”

Starlight gave a reassuring smile. “And that’s totally understandable; you were with them for a long time. Who knows, maybe someday they’ll see how much happier you are with your life, and they might come around too.”

The siren smiled. “I dunno… maybe. That’s what I’m hoping for.”

As I watched the conversation take place, I glanced at the princess to notice her looking at me. I cocked my head inquisitively and faced her directly.

Knowing I could tell she wanted to say something, she took the cue to speak. “So… what’s your story? How did you end up with the group?”

“Well,” I drew a long inhale as I looked around the darkening schoolyard. “It was pure chance, honestly. I was driving home from work one day and I happened upon Rare and Dashie on the side of the road; Rare’s battery’d died, so I pulled over to help them out, aaaand the rest is history.”

“Hm,” Twilight glanced downward and rubbed her chin with her knuckles. “Tragic.” She looked up to me again. “If I don’t see her this visit, could you please tell Rarity and that I’m sorry for the loss of her battery?”

I paused, eyes darting around. “Uhh... sure? That’s not what this is about, though.”

“Well... regardless, I’m glad to have met you, Golden Arrow. And I’d be more than happy to help you with your Rainbow Dash problem.”

“Awesome,” I nodded. “But… just call me Golds, OK?”

Twilight cringed slightly. “Oh right! I forgot, sorry.”

“It’s alright,” I said. The yard lights kicked on just then, casting circular portions of light on the walkways to and from the building.

“Well then...” The princess smacked her lips. “Let’s take it from the top. How did this whole thing with Rainbow Dash start?”

I raised a hand to wave her down. “Just... we’ll get to that. I think it’d be nice to get to know each other a little bit first.”

The princess looked inquisitively at me.

“I mean, Dashie’s not the only reason I asked you here.” I put my hands in my pockets. “I also, uh, just kinda wanted to meet you. I mean, I’ve heard a lot about you. The girls have talked about you so much, and I just…” I trailed off and scratched my forehead, facing the sidewalk. “I dunno. But… not only that, they’re all out of town this week, so I’ve been feeling pretty lonely… and bored—no offense, Sonata.”

The siren shook her head. “No, it’s OK. I know how you feel. I miss P, too. And I’ve still got the rest of her family to hang out with; you’ve been all alone at Fluttershy’s house all week.”

The other-worlders all looked at me, surprised.

“You’ve been staying at Fluttershy’s house?” Twilight asked.

I shrugged. “Me and Flutters have been living together almost a year now.”

Her brows leapt up. “Really?” she asked, to which I nodded. “So… does that mean you two are…?”

I nodded quickly. “A thing? Yeah. You could say that.”

“Huh.” She glanced at Starlight, who raised a brow and then smirked. “Well then, you brought us here to get to know us? OK. What do you want to do? Did you have something in mind?”

I drew a breath and held it for a pause. “Uh… not really anything in particular, to be honest—mostly just thinking about fuckin the dog.”

As soon as I said this, the little pooch yelped sharply and scampered behind Twilight, hiding behind her big, purple boots.

“What the hell’s his problem?” I asked, leaning over to see what was wrong.

Sonata clutched her stomach and doubled over laughing.

“Um, I beg your pardon?” the princess asked sharply, drawing my attention back to her, her face now plastered with an unimpressed scowl.

“Aw, shit,” I whispered, slapping a hand over my forehead. I turned away from her, realising the idiom must not have existed in their world. “OK, look: I’m sorry. That was a figure of speech,” I answered quickly, raising a hand in defense. “‘Fucking the dog’ doesn’t actually mean… what it sounds like. It’s a term for… uh, basically doing nothing; being lazy.”

The princess and Starlight glanced at one another, brows cocked.

“OK,” I rubbed my temple, trying to think of a way to explain it further. “Think about… You know when you’re passing by a construction site, and everyone there is working, except for that one guy, who’s sitting around, doing nothing. You ever seen that guy?”

Twilight was chewing her lip. “Uh, I guess I’ve seen… something like that. Except it was… not a ‘guy,’ as you call it.”

“Ok, fine. Pony,” I said. “But he’s sittin around, watching everyone else work, right?”

Twilight nodded. “Yeah, everypony has to work harder with him around.”

I raised a hand and pointed at her. “Right! See, that guy’s fuckin the dog. Get it?”

The princess rolled her eyes. “I guess so. It’s still not a very nice thing to say, though.” She looked down behind her. “Did you hear that, Spike? It’s OK; it was just a colloquialism. He didn’t really mean it.”

Slowly, the dog peered out at me for a second or two, but then he turned and headed for the statue, shaking his head as he went. I could have sworn I heard mumbling from under his breath as he sank headfirst into the concrete, sending forth a ripple of silver-coloured shockwaves from the centre of his passage.

“Hm… I guess he’s still a little put off,” Starlight said dryly.

Frowning, I pointed at the statue where the dog had just disappeared. “Wait a second, did that dog understand that whole conversation just now?”

Twilight nodded. “Yeah, well… technically, he’s not a dog,” she chuckled anxiously. “In Equestria, Spike is actually a dragon.”

I stared at the princess. Then I shook my head and shrugged. “Eh, you know what? Nothing surprises me anymore.” This was when I noticed Sonata looking at the pedestal, confused as usual. “What now?” I asked, drawing her attention.

After looking at me and then Twilight, Sonata drew a breath and shook her head. “I don’t get it; I thought the portal was open?”

Twilight shook her head. “It is open, as you just saw.”

“But,” Sonata faced the statue again, rubbing her chin, “when I was blocking you guys from going back, I was laying right against it… and I didn’t go through.”

Princess Twilight sighed. “You can’t go through. You and your sisters are ‘locked out’ of Equestria.”

Sonata scowled. “Locked out?”

“That’s right,” the princess replied. “When Starswirl the Bearded banished you to this world, he cast a spell on the portal that made it impossible for any of you to return.”

“Oh…” Sonata stared at the concrete again. “So… what, you guys just left it locked?”

“Well, technically, he put it on there, so only he can remove it. I mean, I could probably figure it out—if I really needed to.” Twilight chuckled and shrugged one shoulder, adding an overconfident and rather blasé smirk just to drive the point home.

Starlight rolled her eyes.

“But either way,” Twilight continued, “why would we bother to take it off? We though you three were still bad news—literally until just now.”

Slowly, Sonata reached out and placed her hand on the pedestal’s cold, hard surface. Unlike a moment ago, when Spike had passed through it like it was thin air, it remained solid for Sonata: lifeless, and inanimate. “Hm,” she sighed and lowered her hand to look at us again. “It’s OK, I guess.” She sighed and stepped away to stand next to Starlight. “There’s nothing there for me anyway.”

Princess Twilight glanced solemnly at her companion for a second or two, then she turned to Sonata with a reassuring smile. “There’s more for you here in this world. I promise. Especially with the new friends you’ve made.”

“Exactly,” I said, bringing my hands together and rubbing them firmly. The cold air was becoming a nuisance with only a T-shirt on, and I was feeling a tad antsy to get someplace warmer—for everyone’s sake. “What do you ladies say we get outta this nasty cold?”

Starlight and the princess nodded quickly.

“You know where the Sweet Shoppe is, right?” I asked Sonata, who nodded and grinned. “OK then, meet us there for hot chocolates. I’m buying.”

*****

Sonata had scampered off to Pinkie’s car. In the meantime, however, making my way to the truck with Princess Twilight and Starlight in tow had become a far more time-consuming task than I had anticipated.

“Jesus, people are gonna think I’m hanging out with a couple of drunkards here,” I muttered, after turning back to see Starlight go down again.

“AAH, that’s cold!” she screeched when her bare hands met the snow-dusted ground. “Why are these things so sensitive!?”

Twilight, who was a marginally more practiced biped, bent to hook an arm with Starlight’s to help her up. “It’s OK Starlight, you got this. Just take it one step at a time; one foot in front of the other.”

Starlight, on her feet again, nodded impatiently. “I got it, I got it.”

Minutes later, the two girls had finally climbed into my truck. I closed the door behind them, shaking my head and chuckling as I made my way around to the driver’s side. I opened my door and hopped into the driver’s seat, slipping the key into the ignition. Before I started the engine, however, I happened to glance over at the two; they were sitting still, unsure of what they should be doing, both looking at me with closed hands on their laps.

Aw, shit… I thought, realising they probably didn’t have anywhere near the dexterity needed to put their seatbelts on. I took a moment to consider what to do, staring at them, staring at me. Finally, I just shook my head and pulled the door shut. Fuck it. The Sweet Shoppe’s only a block away. We’ll be fine.

Twilight and Starlight glanced at each other, likely wondering what I must have been thinking when I turned the key to start the engine. The sudden clash of a million flame-fronts caused them to jump, and they both stared toward the source of the noise with eyes like saucers.

Finally, Twilight looked at me as I rested my hands on the steering wheel, sending a smirk their way. “Uh… is there something wrong with this vehicle’s power plant?”

I shook my head. “Nope. It’s supposed to sound that awesome.”

She raised a brow at me as I dropped the shifter into drive and then looked behind us before pulling onto the street. The Sweet Shoppe was indeed close, yet the travel time there was effectively doubled when we were caught by a pesky red light. As we sat, wordlessly waiting, hearing and feeling the vibration coming from under the hood, I glanced to my left when I happened to notice some movement on the far sidewalk.

A couple was walking along in the opposite direction. I was just about to look away, wondering why anyone other than us would choose to be out in this cold, when I realised that one of them looked familiar, despite being bundled up in a thick coat and a red toque.

I squinted, leaning closer to the side glass as I focused on him. When he passed under the next street light, his face was illuminated enough for me to recognise him. Holy shit! Is that Al from the parts store?

I honked the horn to draw his attention. When they looked over toward the truck, I knew he recognised me right away; a smile immediately appeared on his face, and I wasted no time in raising my hand to flip him off. He laughed when he saw it, and although I couldn’t hear him from inside the truck, it was clearly visible to me that he was amused, especially when he released his wife’s hand to raise his middle finger in return.

I chuckled quietly to myself, looking ahead just in time to see the light turn green. As I accelerated away, the princess’ voice sounded from my right.

“Do you know him?”

I glanced over at her, having briefly forgotten that the two of them were in the cab with me. “Uh, yeah. I… kinda-sorta work with him. Or I used to, anyway.”

“I see.” Twilight glanced at my hand. “And what was that thing you just did?”

“Huh? Oh, you mean this?” I held my middle finger up again so they could see it, and they both nodded. “Oh, that’s nothing; it’s just something friends do,” I explained, waving them off.

Twilight nodded quietly and pursed her lips, gazing thoughtfully through the windshield for a moment. Then she and Starlight faced each other, looking down at their laps to study their hands; Twilight managed to extend her thumb enough to hook it under her middle finger to peel it outwards. Once she had it pointed straight, she looked to Starlight, who was following suit—though she was having a tad more trouble with it.

Eventually, they’d both formed the gesture and were presenting it to one another, snickering quietly amongst themselves.

Unaware that this was going on beside me, I faced forward, watching as the Sweet Shoppe came into view. I pulled into the lot on the far side and parked next to Pinkie’s car, then I exited and quickly made my way to the passenger side to help them out so they wouldn’t end up falling—after all, it was a fairly long drop to get out of that truck.

The girls hobbled together, using each other for support. I followed behind until we approached the building, at which point I darted around them to open the door. Once inside, we took a quick look around to find Sonata sitting alone in a booth in the far corner.

We made our way over to join her.

“Wowee! What took you guys so long?” she asked, scooting over to let me in.

Starlight climbed clumsily into the booth and sat opposite Sonata, followed by the princess, who sat across from me.

“They’re still getting their sea-legs,” I joked, looking around at the three of them. Then I realised something. “Oh shit, the hot chocolates,” I stood up again. “I don’t know why the fuck I even sat down. Be right back.”

At the counter, I was greeted by the always-cheerful Mrs. Cake, who had turned away from what she was doing just in time to see me approach.

“Oh! Hello, deary!”

“Jeez, lady!” I smiled. “Don’t you ever go home?”

She let out a jolly laugh. “No siree! If this place is open, I’m here. That’s just how it is.”

I glanced at the clock above the kitchen doorway. “It’s pretty late in the evening; that’s a long day, isn’t it?”

Mrs. Cake shrugged and rolled her eyes. “Not really. We don’t actually open ‘til eleven thirty.”

“Oh… well in that case, get to work!”

“OK then! What can I get you?” she chuckled.

I held up four fingers. “I will have four of your best hot chocolates, please.” Then I laid couple of bills on the counter. “And you can keep the change, how about that?”

“You got it, sweetie,” she said, taking the money to put it in the register before scurrying off to prepare the drinks.

While Mrs. Cake was busy doing that, I turned my back to the counter to survey the place. It wasn’t overly busy, being a weekday evening —and a cold one at that— so the tables and booths were sparsely populated. As always, the TV was on, showing the local news.

Princess Twilight and Starlight were busy pawing at their coats to remove them while Sonata directed from across the table with a pointed finger, along with some verbal coaching.

It was barely a minute before I heard something slide across the counter behind me, and I turned to see a metal tray with four mugs on it, each one filled with a steaming, foamy, delicious-looking beverage.

“Ah,” I said, gripping the tray as I met Mrs. Cake’s smiling face. “Now, these are your best hot chocolates, right?”

“Absolutely!” she nodded proudly, folding her hands in front of herself. Her expression dropped suddenly, however, and she brought one hand forth to point at one of the mugs. “Well, actually… three of them are the best; this one here isn’t very good.”

I laughed as I picked the tray up. “Oh, heh! That’s OK. I’ll make sure Sonata gets that one.”

Mrs. Cake giggled and waved, turning away to return to the kitchen. “Thanks, deary. Enjoy!”

“Will do, thanks.” I made my way back to the table, where the girls had successfully shed their winter wear and were now talking quietly amongst each other. I approached and set the tray on the table, then I set two of the mugs in front of our guests before sliding into the booth next to Sonata.

The siren and I each took our first sip and then glanced across the table at the other two, who, unsurprisingly, were struggling with their drinks. Both of them were attempting to hold the mugs between their palms, but the heat was too intense for those unusually sensitive appendages to handle in this way.

“Here,” I said, drawing their attention. “Put two of your fingers through the loop, like this,” I explained, demonstrating how to lift the mug by the handle.

With a bit of intense concentration, they both managed to extend two fingers and hook them through the handles as shown. When Starlight lifted hers, however, the mug wobbled slightly and some of the beverage spilled onto the table.

“Aww shit,” Sonata said rather loudly after seeing the effort go awry. Then she took another sip.

“Grrrrh!” Starlight huffed, setting the cup down again. “This is Minotaur-shit! I don’t have to lift my cup like this even at home; I just use my magic!”

“Here, Starlight,” Princess Twilight said, “use your other hand to steady it. Like this.” She demonstrated for the purple-haired girl, using her right hand to steady the cup as she lifted it by the handle with her left to take a noisy slurp.

After watching the princess have a sip and then give a smirk of accomplishment, Starlight brought her eyes back to her own mug. “OK,” she said, clearing her throat and then rolling her shoulders. With a look of earnest, she drew a breath and slowly lifted the cup by the handle, keeping it steady with the thumb and forefinger of her other hand.

Sonata’s eyes widened as she watched the rim of the mug come against the pink girl’s lower lip, and she began to swat the tabletop rapidly, letting out a squeal of excitement. “EEEEEEK! Look at you go!” she cheered as Starlight took that first slurp of hot chocolate, trying her best not to smirk at the siren’s antics. Sonata then cocked a suspicious brow and looked at Starlight sideways. “Are you sure you haven’t been to this world before? Cuz you’re lifting that cup like it’s nobody’s business!”

Twilight giggled at Sonata as she watched Starlight, who lowered the mug and licked the light-brown foam from her lips.

“Wow, that’s really good!” she said as she raised the mug for another slurp.

Sonata gasped, her eyebrows rising with excitement. “OH! She’s doing it again! Man, you’re like a professional cup-lifter! Has anyone ever told you that?”

This statement made Twilight’s expression dissolve slightly and her eyes shifted onto the siren, brows cocked.

“You know what?” Sonata continued as Starlight took a third sip. “If lifting cups was an Olympic event, I bet you would get ALL the medals! You would totally lay waste to all those other cup-lifting clowns, just like a—“

Finally, Starlight snorted into the mug and lowered it from her lips to look at Sonata. “OK, that’s… good. Thank-you. I appreciate it, really, but that’s… enough. Please stop.”

Now silent, Sonata’s gaze dropped downward and her eyes darted around the tabletop, a smile still lingering on her face.

During all this, I found myself staring intently at the two girls from Equestria. It was fairly dark outside when I met them in the schoolyard, and again, driving to our current location in the truck, it was too dim to see them very well. It wasn’t until now, after sitting down with them under the bright lights of the Sweet Shoppe that I noticed something rather peculiar about these ladies—especially the princess.

“Can I ask you something?” I inquired, interrupting them from their drinks. “How… old are you?”

Starlight and the princess glanced at each other for a second, then they both faced me again.

“Excuse me?” asked Twilight.

I cocked my head. “Well… you look really young; like a teenager.” I paused to point a finger at Starlight. “Not her so much, but you…” I narrowed my eyes at Twilight next. “Are you a teenager?

Twilight hesitated while Starlight took another sip, her eyes shifting to the left as she waited to see how the princess was going to respond.

“Uhh… kind of. Well, no. Not exactly.”

I raised a brow. “I don’t get it; howcome you’re younger than this world’s Twilight?”

“I’m not. I’m actually older than her, if that makes any sense. It’s… kind of hard to explain.”

“I’ll say,” I replied, raising my own mug for a sip. “So what’s the deal? D’you guys age slower or something?”

“No, umm...” Twilight tapped her chin gently with her knuckles, looking up at the ceiling as she thought about it. Then she drew a breath, but paused briefly with her mouth open before speaking. “It’s like… when we come to this world through the portal, we almost always come out younger or older than we really are. I believe it somehow reflects the age of our counterparts here: you see, not everypony here is the same age as their double in Equestria —nor does everypony even have a double there— but either way, when we travel through the portal for the first time, our new bodies match the age of our counterpart here, be they older or younger.”

I set the mug down and rubbed my chin as I listened. “So… you said you’re actually older than this?”

The princess nodded. “Yes. I’m in what you would call my early thirties,” she replied as she looked down at herself. “But in this body, I appear to be about eighteen.” She tipped her head to the side next, nodding towards the other girl before continuing. “Starlight, having never been here before, looks to be in her early twenties, most likely because that’s how old this world’s Starlight is, wherever she is.”

“Huh. So what happens if the counterpart isn’t alive here? Like, what if they died centuries ago or haven’t been born yet? Would you just die, or disappear?”

“Or magically fly up your mother’s coochie?” Sonata interjected.

The three of us faced her, brows furrowed.

“Seriously,” I said sternly, facing Twilight with a shake of my head. “Go on.”

“What’s a coochie?” Twilight asked me.

“It’s nothing. Go on.”

“Oh. Well... I certainly hope that’s not the case—in regards to the ‘counterparts not being alive’ thing,” the princess continued. “But to be honest, I don’t know. I’m not aware of any cases of that happening, but that could just be because the individual never returned to tell about it. If true, then travelling here could be a dangerous prospect if you don’t know your counterpart’s situation.”

I had to admit, hearing Princess Twilight talk like this was really starting to remind me of our Twilight. I glanced at Sonata, wondering what she thought, but she was busy staring into her hot chocolate. After a sigh, I brought my eyes back to the princess.

Again, the bright lights gave my mind a chance to take a detailed mental snapshot of her.

It was strange seeing a duplicate of someone, knowing that it was that same someone, only not—and there were just enough differences between the two to remind me of that. Her face, although the same, looked just a tad more youthful, though not by much; generally, there is not much difference between a twenty-six and an eighteen year old in terms of appearance, though having them side-by-side would most likely have highlighted the contrast a little better. Her hair was almost identical, right down to the straight-cut bangs, the only real differences being the thin locks that hung by her ears, which lacked the spiral-shape of her human counterpart’s, plus the simple fact that she wasn’t keeping it in a pony-tail or a bun.

The rest of her varied noticeably, starting with her stance and the way she held herself, which I had noticed straight away, but on top of that, the princess’ muscle tone was much more pronounced. Unlike this world’s Twilight, who was quite wiry and thin, this Twilight had clearly led a very different life. Being a leader and a world saviour, it was probably no stretch to the imagination that she’d seen her share of battles, to say nothing of the general way of life there. With their apparent lack of technology, travelling and manual labour were probably much more strenuous than it is here, which may have explained her build.

A quick glance at Starlight gave traction to that theory; her arms also displayed a muscle tone uncharacteristic of a typical young woman here. Her face was quite pretty, however, and her bright, cobalt eyes were very cat-like in shape, giving her a rather sly, yet strangely alluring visage.

My thoughts ventured even further to Sunset, who just so happened to be the only other person I knew from that world; she also happened to have a fairly muscular build—and a damn sexy one at that.

As I pondered to myself about how the way of life there created a population of well-exercised citizens, something else struck me, and I locked eyes with Twilight.

“Hey…”

“What?”

“What about Sunny?”

Twilight set the cup down and furrowed her brows. “Sunset Shimmer? What about her?”

I shook a finger as I spoke. “Didn’t you and her come here at the same time? Like, you guys both had teenage bodies back then, did you not? In fact, I know Sunny did, I just saw a picture of her last night from when she was younger.”

Sonata perked up. “Wait… isn’t every picture of someone from when they were younger?”

“Shut-up!”

The princess nodded, and Starlight chuckled as she watched the siren roll her eyes in response.

“Anyway… fuck, where was I?” I muttered, rubbing my chin.

Twilight spoke up. “Were you about to ask why Sunset Shimmer and I aren’t the same age anymore—physically, that is.”

I snapped my fingers and pointed at her. “Yes.”

“Well…” she paused to glance thoughtfully at the lights above. “That’s because she stayed here and I didn’t.”

“So… what, there’s like a time displacement thing going on between our worlds, or…?”

“No-no.” She shook her head. “If that were true, then for me it would’ve been like I’d just talked to her, when in truth, I haven’t actually heard from her for years.”

“Hm.” I leaned back and folded my arms. “OK so, why are you still young then?”

She sniffled. “Like I said. I haven’t been here. You see,” —she leaned forward, leaning on the table with her arms folded— “this body only ages when I’m here, which is why it’s still so young. When I go back to Equestria, it essentially gets put on hold, and my real body there ages normally. Sunset, on the other hand, stayed here, so her human body has aged accordingly. But even so, her age displacement is probably no greater than mine.”

With a loud sigh, I let my head fall back to stare at the ceiling tiles above. “This is so fuckin confusing.”

The two girls from the other world giggled. Sonata just looked lost.

I lifted my head again to look at the princess. “OK, what about this? What if Sunny went back to that world; would her body there be younger? Like, did it stop aging when she left?”

Twilight chewed her lip and cocked a brow. “Hmm… that’s a good question. I don’t really know, to be honest. She’s never actually been back, so…” She paused to shake her head. “I mean, it would make sense; she is, after all, only one living entity, and she’s only occupying one body at a time, so I don’t see how she could age two different bodies at once, right?”

I shrugged and shook my head. “You’re asking me? How the hell should I know? This is some next-level shit we’re talking here.”

Twilight let out a giggle. “Hehe! I guess I can’t fault you for that.”

I hooked my fingers through the handle of my mug and lifted it partway to my mouth, but then I paused to look at Twilight once more. “So… wait, how old is Sunny, for real?”

The princess took a short pause before answering. “Uh, I believe, in your years, she would be pretty close to forty.”

Again, I stopped the hot chocolate on it’s way to my mouth and looked at her with raised brows. “Seriously?”

She nodded and smiled at my reaction.

“Wow,” I said, finally taking a sip and then reflecting for a moment. Then I swallowed. “So... Sunny’s a cougar, eh?”

Princess Twilight sneered. “What? No, she’s a unicorn.”

I huffed and rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I know she’s a unicorn. A cougar is… actually, nevermind.” I took another sip and then pointed at Sonata with my thumb. “At least Sunny’s not as old as her; she’s like, a thousand years old—although her body actually is aging now.”

Twilight studied the siren for a moment. “You know, I thought you looked older, but I wasn’t sure. I just thought maybe because it’s been so long...”

Sonata swallowed her latest mouthful and shook her head. “No, you’re right. Without our pendants, we’re just normal peeps. No more living forever—which is just the worst!” She turned to me next, scowling. “And you’re one to talk, by the way!”

Starlight cocked her head and looked at me while Twilight took a sip. “What does that mean?”

“Uh…” I felt a little on the spot. “Well, I… might be a little older than I look, too.”

The princess swallowed her drink. “Really? How?”

“Like I said at the school, I’m not exactly what you’d call ‘a normal person.’”

Intrigued, Twilight leaned closer. “Wait... Do you have… Equestrian magic?”

I shook my head. “No. I don’t know what I have, nor do I know how I got it, but it’s there.”

“Hm.” She straightened up again and licked her lips. “OK, so how old are you?”

I brought the mug to my mouth again, looking down at the table. “Uh, I dunno… two or three thousand maybe?” I said, trying to sound casual.

Both Twilight and Starlight’s eyes nearly bugged out. “WHAT!?”

I cleared my throat and took a sip.

The girls looked at each other.

“That’s even older than Princess Celestia,” Starlight whispered.

“By a significant margin!” Twilight agreed, looking back at me.

I swallowed the hot chocolate. “That’s why I was able to give you my coat outside; the cold doesn’t hurt me. Nothing can.”

Twilight rubbed her chin with her knuckles. “Hmm,” she smirked. ”I have to say: you’re quickly becoming quite the fascinating acquaintance, Golden Arrow.”

*****

Conversations continued to be had in the Sweet Shoppe, fueled by positive energy and hot chocolate, the latter of which was unfortunately running low.

I was holding my phone up for the three of them as they listened to the bizarre voice that continuously repeated the same word over again.

After a moment of focus, Twilight shook her head. “No, I still hear Yanny.”

Befuddled, Starlight glowered at the princess. “What? No, it’s clearly saying Laurel.”

Chuckling, I turned to Sonata. “What about you?”

Sonata drew a deep breath and paused, her fingers steepled thoughtfully in front of her mouth. “Sounds like Yorel,” she finally said.

“What?” I snorted and shook my head, as did the two sitting across from us. Then I turned the phone off and set it down to take my last swig of hot chocolate.

“What do you hear?” Twilight asked me.

I could distinctly hear two voices layered together: a higher pitched one saying ‘Yanny,’ and low-pitched one saying ‘Laurel.’ I always thought this particular gag was pretty dumb, however, so I decided simply to be a dick about it.

“I just heard fart noises.”

Twilight glowered at Starlight.

“So… my hot chocolate’s gone,” I announced, setting the mug on the tray. “How about you ladies?”

Each of them muttered their answers flatly, glancing down into their mugs to find the bottoms staring back at them.

Starlight, who’d already shown great improvement with her dexterity, ran her fingertips around the rim of the cup and sighed. “That was really good, actually. It reminds me a lot of the hot chocolate back home.”

Twilight looked over her shoulder to watch the jolly Mrs. Cake as she moved around behind the counter. “Well, it IS technically Mrs. Cake working here too,” she said, turning back to Starlight. “It only stands to reason that she would’ve come up with the same recipe.” The princess took a moment to look around the shop, chewing her lip as her eyes shifted around, taking in the brightly-coloured, warm and inviting environment. “Hmm. Even after all these years, this place is still very much like I remembered.”

“You’ve been here before?” I asked, folding my arms on the table.

“Of course I have,” Twilight replied. “Last time I was here was when the girls called me to help fight the si—” She stopped when she remembered Sonata was sitting across from her, but the siren was looking outside, oblivious of what was about to be said. The princess turned to look at the counter again, changing the subject. “Er… I’m honestly kinda curious to see if they have oats here now.”

I smirked and looked down at my forearms. “I’m gonna go with ‘probably not.’”

“Still…” she replied absentmindedly. “You know, to be honest… I could go for some ice cream right about now.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised.

She turned back to me. “Yeah. I mean, I’m nice and warm after that hot chocolate, and the ice cream here is pretty good, as I recall.”

I chuckled quietly. “Yeah, it is.” I pulled my wallet out to produce a bill. “OK. What do you want? I’ll go get it for you.”

Her hand rose to stop me, and she stood quite suddenly. “Here, let me do it.”

I remained seated, looking up at her. “Really?”

Twilight shrugged. “I just… I mean, you’ve been so great tonight, I feel like you should sit and take it easy for once.”

“Oh.” I glanced down at the note in my hand. “Ok, well... if you want to, sure.”

“Plus,” she continued, reaching toward me, “I really should get a little more practice on these legs.”

“Alright,” I chuckled, watching as she rather indelicately wrapped her fist around the bill and then glanced at the other two girls.

“What would you two like?”

“Uh, I’ll just have a shake,” Starlight replied. “Or anything I can have through a straw, so I don’t have to use these.” She held her hands up when she said this.

Sonata piped up next. “I’ll have a chocolate sundae.”

I glowered at the siren when she said this. The evening was moving on, and I still needed to talk to the princess about Rainbow Dash. Sonata was supposed to leave me and Twilight alone so we could have that discussion, but our agreement seemed to have slipped her mind, so naturally, I was a bit perturbed when she ordered more food rather than making her exit.

And then there was the matter of what to do with Starlight; she was an unexpected addition to the evening as well.

“How about you, Golden Arr—uh, Golds?”

Twilight’s voice drew me back to her. “Huh?”

“What would you like?”

I glanced around the table, realising the others could tell I was distracted. “Oh… I’ll just have what you’re having, I guess. No oats though… if they actually have them.”

The princess smiled. “OK then. Be right back!”

Once Twilight was gone, I placed my forearms on the tabletop and turned to face Starlight. “So, Starbright… what do you think of this place?”

She scowled at me. “Uh… it’s Starli—“

“OOF!”

Surprised, the three of us turned to look across the restaurant when we heard a grunt, followed by the heavy thump of bodies hitting tiles.

Halfway to the counter, Princess Twilight was sitting on the floor, leaning back on one hand while rubbing her head with the other.

Across from her sat a young man in the same position, his eyes squeezed shut as he pressed a palm to the side of his head, which was covered in spiky, blue hair that matched the beard that covered his face. He sported a black jacket with a tattered, white T-shirt underneath, the ensemble finished-off with a pair of worn-out blue jeans.

When I saw this from across the shop, it wasn’t hard to figure out that this guy had run into the princess and knocked her down, and given the fact that she was obviously not the best walker, his apparent carelessness didn’t sit well with me one bit.

“Son of a bitch.” I quickly left the table and marched toward them.

“Nnngh…” Twilight groaned, rubbing her head to dull the ache. Slowly, she opened her eyes so see what she’d run into, only to be surprised by who she saw. After a soft gasp, she leaned closer, eyes narrowed. “Flash?”

He was still rubbing his head when she spoke, but after hearing his name and recognizing her voice, Flash’s eyes popped open. He froze instantly when he saw Twilight sitting there. “Wow… Twilight? Is that y—“

“HEY!” I interrupted as I approached and bent down, grabbing him by the back of his collar. “Watch where you’re going, you fuckin douche!” I growled as I hoisted him from the floor with one hand and held him in the air.

”WHOA!” he cried, reaching behind his head to clutch my arm with both hands, his feet twirling in the air like he was riding an invisible bicycle. “Holy shit! Don’t hurt me, man!”

Twilight’s eyes widened when she saw what was happening, and she quickly climbed to her feet to intervene. “Wait! Golden Arrow! It’s OK, I know him!”

I turned to face her when she placed a hand on my shoulder. “You know this guy?”

“Yes!” she replied quickly. “Just… please, it was an accident; this is… kind of how he and I always run into each other, believe it or not.”

I looked at him again; he was perfectly still now, his mouth and eyes stuck open in a state of terror, like one of those crazy old men in the nursing home.

Twilight shook her head and sighed. Then she stepped forward to place her hand on his chest. “It’s OK, Flash,” she said, tipping her head toward me. “This is Golden Arrow. He’s a friend. OK?”

“Uh… it’s Golds,” I reminded her.

“Right,” she replied dryly, facing me again. “Golds, this is Flash Sentry. He’s an old friend of the girls, from high school.”

I shifted my eyes onto the blue-bearded kid again, rolling my jaw back and forth. “Flash?” This name sounded very familiar. “Wait a minute,” I thought aloud, looking down at the floor. Then I snapped my finger and wagged it at him. “Yeah… yeah, you’re Sunny’s ex, right?”

His expression turned to one of curiosity —anxious curiosity— and his eyes locked with mine. “S-Sunset Shimmer? You know her?”

“Yeah, I know her. Shit dude, it’s good to finally meet you. Sorry about all this; I thought you knocked the princess over.” I gestured to Twilight as I spoke.

“Well, I kinda did,” he admitted, scratching his temple. “Sorry about that, Twilight.” He studied her for a minute, like he was gauging her, sizing her up. “Um… so, wait, you are the other Twilight, right?”

She folded her hands and blushed. “The princess? Yeah, it’s me.”

“Heh. Wow, this is… Wow! Long time no see,” he said, finally cracking a smile as he combed his fingertips into the front of his hair to re-tousle it “This is crazy! I… I haven’t seen you in years—I mean, not including the other you. Um… soooo, how have you been?”

“I’m good!” she nodded, followed by a flirtatious giggle. Then she brought her hand up and touched her chin before pointing at him. “You have hair on your muzzle.”

“Oh, heh!” He chuckled sheepishly, scratching his beard. “Yeah… I grew this just so I would look older, basically. Without it, I still look like a seventeen year old; nobody would take me seriously.”

“I like it.” Twilight smiled. “It suits you.”

I had to admit, this young chap had charm, though he was a bit on the coy side. He was a good looking fellow, too; it was hard to understand why someone like him could be so unconfident, especially with the princess eyeing him up like a piece of meat the way she was.

After a short and somewhat awkward —but cute— silence, Flash cleared his throat. “So… what brings you here after all this time? Is something going on here?”

Her eyebrows went up. “Oh! No, nothing like that; I’m just here for a visit—and to make some new friends, apparently.”

“Oh, whew!” he replied, wiping some imaginary sweat from his brow. “I was kinda worried there for a minute. I thought maybe some magical beings were causing trouble again; or like, maybe the sirens came back to—“

Flash stopped rather abruptly when he happened to glance at our table and saw Sonata parked there, across from a girl with purple-hair, laced with green stripes. Both Twilight and I followed his gaze, then we quickly turned back to him when we realised the conclusion he’d likely drawn.

“Oh! No-no-no,” the princess said, waving her hands at him. “She’s with us, don’t worry.”

“Yeah, no,” I affirmed. “She’s cool. She’s dumb as a post, but she’s a good shit.”

He pointed at Starlight. “Both of them?”

“Huh?” The princess furrowed her brow as she glanced over at Starlight, then she returned her attention to Flash when she realised the misunderstanding. “Oh! No, she’s not a siren; she’s with me—from Equestria.” Twilight gestured to her hair. “I know they look similar —same hair colour n’ stuff— but yeah, no. Purely coincidental, heh heh! It’s all good, don’t worry.”

Flash’s expression relaxed. “Oh… well, that’s a relief. I guess I should have figured… you know, you guys and your whole ‘making friends’ thing.”

Twilight shrugged. “Well… I wasn’t actually aware of this one until tonight, but... I guess it’s a good thing either way, right?”

“Heh, yeah.” Flash rubbed the back of his head, still looking a bit nervous.

With a mildly stern look, the princess made eye contact with me. “Um, Golds? Do you think you could, um—“

“Buy Flash some ice cream?” I cut in, facing her. “Absolutely. I owe him at least that much. Have a seat, princess; I got this.” I turned to head to the counter, glancing over at Flash. “Come on, buddy, I feel terrible about this. Let me make it up to you.”

I brought Flash to the counter, where we waited for Mrs. Cake, who was out of sight in the kitchen. About a half minute passed, and I could feel a hint of awkwardness creeping in, so I took a deep breath and attempted some unawkward small talk.

“So… you and Sunny, eh?”

He faced straight forward, arms at his sides. “Uh… yeah.”

I chewed my lip. “Uh, do you mind if I ask what happened?—like, why you guys ended it, I mean.”

He was quiet, and he remained still.

I raised a hand. “Hey, if you don’t want me prying, you can just tell me to fuck off if you want.”

“Uh… no, I don’t think I’ll be doing that.”

“Fair enough,” I turned away to look at the bins of assorted candy behind the counter.

After a few seconds, Flash replied. “It didn’t work out because… she was kind of crazy…” —he coughed— “in bed.”

I faced him again, raising a brow. I agreed with him a hundred percent, by the way.

“And, it just… it wasn’t my thing,” he confessed. “Like, it was kinda fun at first, but… it got tiring. She never wanted to have a normal… you know—and sometimes I did.”

“That’s not the way she tells it,” I said, making him look over at me. “According to her, it was the long-distance thing that wasn’t working out.”

“Yeah well, that’s her version,” he clarified. “She doesn’t always like to admit when something’s her fault.”

“You don’t say...” I was quite surprised to hear all of this—and so quickly. Regardless, I completely understood where he was coming from. Sunset Shimmer was a crazy bitch in the sack, which didn’t always play well with the kind of guy that this Flash character seemed to be.

Personally, I thought it was fucking great—but that’s me.

“I hope it didn’t make you feel like you weren’t enough man for her,” I teased, which quickly drew his attention. “Cuz she certainly can be a handful… for any guy.”

Flash’s eyes went down to the countertop, then back to me. “Wait, have you and her…?”

I paused and then cleared my throat, looking away. “Maybe, like… a couple times.”

“Oh…”

I turned back to him after hearing the despondent reply. “Hey, listen:” —I gave his shoulder a reassuring tap— “now, this might sound weird coming from me, but I, for one, am proud of you, my man.”

Flash’s head whipped around, brows furrowed. “Errf?”

“You heard me.”

He looked more confused than ever. “…Why?”

“Because dude,” I leaned in to speak quietly, “seriously, anybody who can hop in the sack with Sunny and live to tell about it is a fuckin hero in my book.”

“Uh…” he turned away again. “Well, thanks. I guess.”

I leaned forward to get a better look at him. “You guess?”

Flash sighed. “I dunno. It’s just… she always said that I was too nice. Like, she would always—“

“She was mean,” I interrupted. “Like she would say mean things and slap your nuts n’ stuff, right?”

He paused and then nodded. “Yeah. And she was rough.”

I nodded.

“And she liked… ‘denial.’ You know the kind.”

“Oh, I’ve been there, buddy. You and me both.”

By then, I was completely blown away by how much I was getting out of this kid. We’d only known each other for all of four minutes, but I had to admit, although I was initially put-off by him knocking Princess Twilight over, I was already starting to like him. He wore his heart on his sleeve. I could see why Sunset gave him a second chance, but on the same token, I could also see why she ended it a second time.

“You know what I think?” I asked.

He shook his head.

“I think Sunny was right. You’re too nice.”

Flash looked dejected by this, and he exhaled slowly, hanging his head.

I pointed a finger at him. “But hey, that’s not entirely a bad thing.”

He lifted his head just enough to look at me. “No?”

“No, of course not. You just gotta moderate it a bit. Don’t be such a dork, you know?”

“Uh… OK.”

I shook my head and grumbled. “See, this is what I’m talking about. When someone calls you a dork, you don’t just say: ‘uh, OK.’ You get right in their face, and you say: ‘HEY! YOU SAY THAT SHIT AGAIN AND YOU’RE GONNA FIND OUT WHAT MY FUCKIN CHOAD TASTES LIKE! CAPISCE?’—not to me though, cuz I’ll fuck you up.”

“Right,” he nodded timidly. “Um… actually, I don’t know if that’s really something I would, uh—”

I knew where he was going with this, so I cut him off, eyes closed and nodding. “Nope. No, I get it. You don’t have to say it exactly like that. You do it your way, whatever that is; as long as it works. We all like to do things a little differently, right?” I took a quick glance around for Mrs. Cake. When I didn’t see her, I continued. “And the whole thing with Sunny: she wasn’t being rough with you cuz she wanted to make you endure it; she wanted to get a reaction out of you.”

Flash straightened up, showing some intrigue. “What do you mean?”

“She was trying to get you to do to her what she was doing to you.”

He raised a brow. “You mean… she wants it, like…?”

I looked him dead in the eyes. “Dude, this is what you do: you just fuckin shove her down on the bed, mush her face in the pillows and fuckin give her all you’ve got. Just pick a hole and start drillin; don’t even worry about it.”

Flash’s cheeks turned rosy. “Wow.” Then he swallowed and looked down at the floor. “I don’t know if I could do that.”

I let out a sigh. “Look man, change isn’t easy. Nobody can just flip a switch and become a new man. Everything we do takes practice. Bottom line: you’re a nice guy. I can tell. But being too nice isn’t necessarily a good thing either because then you basically become a magnet for all the psychopaths out there; all those manipulative, soul-sucking assholes who want nothing but to take advantage and abuse people, and they come after nice guys like you cuz no one else’ll put up with their bullshit.

“Now, I’m not saying ‘be an asshole.’ No one likes an asshole either; you’ve gotta be a good person, but you also have to stand up for yourself. Don’t take anyone’s shit, and don’t let people walk all over you. You deserve respect. Always remember that.”

By now, Flash was holding his head up as he listened. When I was finished, he puffed his chest up and was about to say something, but just then, Mrs. Cake emerged from the kitchen with a fresh smile on her face.

“Oh hiya, boys! What can I…” The smile disappeared from her face suddenly, and she slowed her pace. “...do for… you…?”

I glanced at Flash. “What’re ya havin, bud?”

He cleared his throat and then spoke quietly and politely. “Um, I’ll just have a chocolate shake. Please.”

Mrs. Cake was still for a moment. Then she slowly turned away and headed to the machine. “Coming right up,” she muttered in a rather strange tone.

I watched closely as she worked, noticing the sudden change in behaviour. Turning to Flash with an arched brow, I leaned close and spoke quietly. “Did she just look at you weird?”

His eyes darted about for a moment before he replied. “Uh, yeah. She kinda did.”

I looked over at the middle-aged woman again, sucking my bottom lip. “Hm. I wonder why.” My eyes went back to Flash, studying his full, yet well-kept facial hair. “You had that beard long?”

“Uh, yeah, quite a while. She’s seen me with it before. I don’t think it’s that.”

I went back to watching Mrs. Cake. “Huh. Weird.”

We were quiet for a bit, waiting patiently for the treat to be perfected.

Flash was the one to finally break the silence. “Um… hey, man?”

I turned to face him. “Yo.”

“W— … what’d you say your name was again?”

“Golden Arrow.” I replied, shifting my eyes onto the whipped cream being piled on top of the tall glass. “Call me Golds.”

“Ah, right,” he nodded. “So… uh, Golds?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think you could, um, put me down?”

My head whirled around to face him. Then I looked down at his feet, which were dangling a few inches above the floor. This was when I realised I still had a grip on the back of his collar.

“OH!” I set him down immediately. “Shit, dude. Sorry! I totally spaced-out there, what with all the excitement going on,” I said as I brushed the wrinkles out of his coat, him flinching each time I touched him.

“I-it’s OK,” he said timidly. “I uh... no, and... I mean, I actually appreciate the advice, man. Thanks. Really.”

Just then, the front door opened. An older man with a brown coat and gray dress pants entered. He approached the counter just as Mrs. Cake came over to hand Flash the shake.

“Excuse me,” the old man grumbled, drawing her attention. “I called this morning about an anniversary cake; I’m here to pick it up.”

“Oh, OK,” she smiled. “What’s the name?”

“Doodle.”

I snorted and gave Flash a smirk.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Cake smiled and raised a finger. “Ah, yes! It’s all ready, and it turned out great, too. She’s gonna love it!”

“Good.” The old man lowered his head and reached up to mess with what was quite possibly the world’s most obvious toupee. As I watched him, Flash made a little noise from my right.

“Heh…”

I turned to face him, finding something of a surprised smirk on his face.

“What?” I asked.

Flash pointed at the old man. “That guy: he was a teacher at my high school.”

I glanced at the old man and then again at Flash. “No shit; at CHS?”

He nodded and cleared his throat. “Uh… hey, Mr. Cranky?” he called out timidly, waving.

Surprised that he did this, I looked at the old man in time to see him face us.

From where I was standing, he looked just a tad on the miserable side, and the long, stray hairs on his chin certainly didn’t help his appearance any.

Flash gave a weak smile. “Hi. Uh… how’s it going?”

After a pause, the old man reached for his wallet. “Fuckin terrible, thanks.” And he turned away.

My eyebrows went up, then my attention shifted back to Flash to see his reaction.

“Mm.” He rubbed the back of his neck, wondering if he should say any more. Unfortunately, he did. “It’s me, uh, Flash Sentry.”

Cranky ignored us as he handed Mrs. Cake some money. She smiled and placed it in the register, and then lifted a modestly-sized cake to hand it over the counter to him.

“Do you remember me?” Flash tried again as he watched the transaction take place, thinking maybe the old man didn’t hear him the first time.

“Nope,” the old man replied indifferently. Then he turned and headed out the door.

Slack-jawed, I turned to face Flash. “Wow. You need more work than I thought.”

He shrugged and took a sip of his shake. “Yeah.”

“Was that guy seriously a teacher?”

Flash swallowed his second sip and then nodded. “Yup.”

I turned back, just in time to see the door slowly close behind the old grump. “Oh my god; and he actually kept his job?” I chuckled incredulously. “That’s amazing.”

*****

Minutes later, we returned to the booth with ice cream in hand. Flash took my spot next to Sonata, and I pulled a chair up to the end of the table to sit backwards on it, arms folded across the backrest while I listened to the conversations being had.

Inevitably, I found myself glaring at Sonata, who was still leading the banter rather than leaving as we had agreed. Her sundae was only half-gone, while everyone else’s glasses were already empty.

“I know, right?” the siren was saying to the other two girls. “Me and my sisters hated Christmas for a super-long time because of that!”

Twilight cocked her head, intrigued. “So... wait, that’s not the same pony?”

“Nope!” Sonata shook her head vigorously. “I know he totally looks like Starswirl, but he totally isn’t!”

Flash was facepalming by then, chuckling out loud. “Wait-wait… HAHAHA! You thought Santa Clause was some epic mage from your world!?”

Sonata took another bite, then she shrugged and swallowed it. “What else were we supposed to think? He’s like, the same exact guy!”

The princess rubbed her chin and shifted her eyes onto Flash. “So, who is this Santa Clause then?”

Flash shook his head and poked the bottom of his glass with the straw. “Nobody. He’s not real.”

Gasping, Sonata glared wide-eyed at Flash and slapped the table. “Dude, don’t say that! You won’t get any presents!”

The blue-bearded kid snorted and dropped the straw into glass. “Are you serious!?” he laughed.

After a short, but serious stare, the siren put a silly smile on and threw her head to the side. “Nah, I’m just joshin ya!”

“Ugh…” I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. Then I gripped the back of the chair and glared at Sonata. “Uh, hey, weren’t you supposed to... I dunno, meet someone tonight?”

She cocked a brow, confused. “Me? No, I don’t think so.”

I let out a huff. “Actually, I’m pretty sure you had to be somewhere tonight, remember? You told me before the princess and Starbright showed up.”

Starlight rolled her eyes.

Sonata furrowed her brows and poked her chin. “Hm. Nah, you must be thinking of someone else.”

I sighed and rested my brow on the backrest. Thumb > forehead, I thought, taking a quick moment to stare into darkness behind my eyelids. When I lifted my head again, I was quick to notice Princess Twilight looking at me.

She was well aware that I wanted to talk to her alone. If there was to be any hope of making things right with Rainbow Dash, I needed this to happen. I had to think of a way to—

Then it struck me. I couldn’t be sure why —perhaps it was the thought of not having Rainbow Dash around— but I was reminded of the time before I knew the girls, and a place I used to go on a rare occasion. It wasn’t a place I normally had much interest in, however the show itself was able to capture my attention—enough to bring me back several times.

That was irrelevant tonight, but the simple thought of it gave me an idea: invite the group along to this place, then, unbeknownst to them, take Twilight someplace else—then we would be free to have a lengthy chat about Rainbow Dash.

Brilliant! There was no way this plan could fail.

“Hey,” I said, straightening up in my seat. Everyone turned their attention to me. “Who wants to go see Trixie?”

The reactions I received couldn’t have been more mixed. Flash scowled, Sonata sneered, Twilight looked unsure, and Starlight’s eyes lit up with intrigue.

“Ehh…” Flash rubbed the back of his neck. “Not… I mean, I’m not really a fan of—“

“Blegh!” Sonata stuck her tongue out. “Why? I don’t get why people like that stuff!”

I hung my head. Welp… that plan failed.

“Ohh!” Starlight leaned closer, eyes wide. “I forgot there’s a Trixie here too; she’s my best friend back in Equestria!”

I raised my head again, locking eyes with the purple-haired girl. “Really?”

Starlight nodded.

I could work with this!

“So… you wanna go see her?”

She inhaled and raised her hands, shaking them at me. “I would absolutely love to!” She grabbed the princess’ arm. “Come on, Twilight! Seriously, we have to go; it would be fascinating to see what she’s like here. Please, can we go?”

Sighing, the princess forced a smile and then nodded. “OK. Fine. We can go, if it’s that important to you.”

I raised a brow, wondering why most of them were so turned-off by the idea. No matter, if Flash and Sonata didn’t want to go, and the princess was willing to do it for Starlight, then that was all I needed. While I preferred to be alone with Twilight, I could live with Starlight being around as well; after all, she would be going back to Equestria once the night was over, and she would take the Dash story with her.

It was really just Sonata who I needed to keep the girls’ immortality from.

As Starlight hooked her arm around the princess’ shoulders for a hug, I brought my hands together and rubbed them, looking over at Flash and Sonata, quite certain that they would not be joining us. “Well, how about you two? You in?”

Flash gave me a short glance and then shook his head. “Nah, I’ll pass.” He sat back and scratched his beard. “I was just about to head out anyway.”

Sonata was giving a blank stare. It was quite obvious that she was annoyed by this turn of events.

I’d accomplished what I’d set out to do, which was to get rid of these two, but now I felt a tad guilty seeing them like this. I sighed and reached behind me to pull out my wallet.

“Alright, here. Look.” I produced a hundred dollar bill and slapped it down in front of Flash, who was surprised when he saw it. “Why don’t you two go bowling or something? My treat.”

Sonata’s eyes lit up immediately. “OOH! Yeah, let’s go!” she shrieked, slapping his shoulder repeatedly.

Flash turned to the siren. “What, really? You and me?”

Sonata nodded excitedly.

He stared at her for a moment, open-mouthed. He turned to Twilight next, who gave an encouraging smile. “Uh… O-OK,” he said at last, facing Sonata with a smile. “Let’s go.” He grabbed the money and slid out of the booth, nodding at me along the way. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”

“No worries, bud,” I said as Sonata slid off the bench behind him. She stood beside me and then bent to wrap her arms around my head.

“Thanks, Gold Boy!” she giggled, mashing her bosom against my temple.

After she released me, I looked up at her and then gave her a nod and a warm smile. Get the fuck outta here.

“Come on, Flashie! They have late-night tacos at the Canterlot Bowl-a-Rama!”

“Alright-alright,” he chuckled as he followed the siren to the door, looking back at us as he went. “Uh… bye, Twilight.”

The princess was looking over her shoulder, watching them leave. “Bye Flash; it was good seeing you again.”

“You too. And it was nice meeting you, Starlight.”

“Same here.”

He looked at me next. “Thanks again.” He nodded.

I nodded back and gave him a thumbs-up.

Once they were gone, Princess Twilight turned back to the table and used her straw to stir the last bit of melted ice cream, staring down into the glass.

“Are you cool with that?” I asked.

Her eyes rose to meet mine. “Hm?”

I nodded at the door. “Sending him off with her?”

She shrugged and shook her head. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know,” I replied, picking at the edge of the table. “It was pretty obvious, you checking him out.”

“Oh.” She glanced at Starlight first, and then at me with a smile. “It’s OK, Golds. I came to terms with the fact that I can’t be with him a long time ago; I do live in a different dimension, after all.”

“Right.” I nodded. “Isn’t there a Flash there, though?”

“There is,” she replied. “But he lives far away. Plus, he’s not exactly the same pony as this world’s Flash. He takes his duties very seriously—and so do I, for that matter. Neither of us have time for that sort of thing.”

Starlight rolled her eyes, which I took as her thinking that Twilight was just making excuses.

“Anyway,” the princess continued. “I could tell you were just trying to get rid of them so we could talk about Rainbow Dash, so it’s OK.”

I chuckled quietly. “You picked up on that, eh?”

She smiled and nodded.

The table was quiet for a moment; neither I nor the princess knew where to go from here, but Starlight apparently did.

“Um… so, are we going to see Trixie, or what?” she asked impatiently, practically shoving Twilight out of the booth.

I laughed and stood from my chair. “Yeah, we’re going. Hold your horses—er... whatever.”

*****

It was a long drive across town, so Twilight and I used that time to discuss the events of the holidays, and what led to the current situation with Rainbow Dash. I told her about the cancer, and my ability to cure it; however, I did not mention the lasting effect it had. I knew that if this Twilight was anything like ours, she would go off on an epic tangent if I told her about the immortality, as well as Fluttershy’s pony-up, so I —somewhat selfishly, I’ll admit— left that detail out to avoid having her ask me a million questions about it. Instead, I simply told her that my seed carried a curing affect because of my own immortality. This way, I could still bring up the issue of Dash feeling like she’d been violated—which, of course, was only half of the problem, but if the princess could tell me how to get through to her, then that was really all I needed.

During all of this, a bit of worry lurked in the back of my mind over where we were headed; I hadn’t seen Trixie’s show since before I met the girls, and I honestly had no idea if she would even be on that night. I hadn’t thought that far ahead, so I really hoped she would be, of course, because I did not wish to disappoint Starlight. Despite not knowing her very long, my instincts told me I should avoid upsetting her; she definitely gave off a vibe that she could turn psycho on a dime.

“Wow. That is quite a predicament,” Twilight was saying, rubbing her brow. “So… wait, did you tell Rainbow Dash that you didn’t actually… you know… apply your” —she cleared her throat— “medicine… uh, directly?”

“Yeah, I told her as soon as I could,” I replied as I made a right turn and accelerated down the next street. “I have no idea if she listened though. She was pretty pissed off.”

“Hmm.” She rubbed her chin and ruminated for a moment. “She’s a lot like our Rainbow Dash; it can be extremely difficult to get through to her when she’s angry about something.”

“Pfft!” Starlight rolled her eyes in agreement. “Tell me about it.”

“See, this is the problem,” I said, with a glance at Twilight. “How do I know what to say to her? I don’t even know what she thinks happened.”

She sighed, staring thoughtfully through the windshield. Listening to the chatter of the truck’s engine, the princess chewed her bottom lip and shook her head. Then she paused, raising a brow, as though something had crossed her mind. “You know, when I first came here looking for Sunset Shimmer, do you know what I had to do to get Rainbow Dash to help me?”

I shook my head.

“I had to play a game of soccer. She beat me, of course, but the fact that I tried and didn’t give up is what got her attention; that’s what got her to respect me, and she was on board with us from then on.” She turned to face me. “Maybe that’s what you should do.”

I glanced over at her, looking somewhat dubious. “You want me to challenge her to a game of soccer?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes. And when you do, remind her that that’s what she did for me. If she knows that I told you this, she’ll see that you’ve gone to great lengths to regain her trust —like coming to me for help— and she’ll realise how much her friendship means to you. Plus, I bet she won’t back down from the challenge. And tell her that if you win, she has to talk to you about what happened at the hospital.”

I shrugged. “And what if I lose?”

She paused. “Well… then hopefully she’ll have the same outlook with you as she did with me.”

I looked out through the windshield. “Let’s hope so.”

*****

Twenty minutes later found the three of us in line, outside on a busy strip just outside of downtown Canterlot. The girls were wearing the coats to brave the cold once again, and I was wearing a dirty flannel jacket that I found behind the seat of my truck—which garnered me a few strange looks, but it drew less attention than being in a T-shirt. Luckily, the line was moving quickly, which meant we would be inside before long.

“Listen,” I said to the princess, who was holding back a shiver. “I wanna thank you for your help tonight. To be honest, I’m not too sure about this whole ‘soccer plan’ you came up with, but I’m gonna do it because for one: I have no idea what else to do; and two: I trust you. I mean, I hardly know you, but something tells me that you know what you’re doing, so I’m just gonna follow your advice.”

She smiled, hugging herself tightly to keep warm. “No problem, G-Golds. I’m always glad to help my friends here in this world. And it’s always good to meet new f-friends, like you—and Sonata.”

I gave her a tap on the arm. “Hey, and you know what?” I pointed to the brightly lit building. “Now that we’ve got a plan figured out, we can go ahead and have some fun. Right, Starbright?”

Starlight sighed. “Sure thing, Golden Airhead.”

“Wow,” I said flatly. “I have nothing.”

Twilight laughed, her mouth emitting a vapour that quickly blew away in the frigid breeze.

I pointed a finger at the princess, smirking. “You know, I had a feeling we would get along like champs.”

“Yeah?” She smiled.

I nodded. “I mean, I already kind of know you, right? I’ve spent a fair bit of time with our Twi, and we get along pretty well too; she’s an absolute Delight to hang out with—even if she is kinda Bookish. ”

“Heh! Well, I guess I’m guilty of that too,” Twilight replied as the line moved ahead and we found ourselves next.

Next to the door, there was a tall —and quite buff— bouncer with a bull-ring in his nose, his head topped by a dark blue crew-cut with a small tuft of dark hair on his chin. He was looking our way now, waving us closer as he leaned over to hook the velvet rope in place, barricading the doorway.

“IDs?” he asked gruffly, folding those thick arms of his.

I stopped, looked at the two girls, then back to the bouncer again. “Uh… why?”

With a huff, he unfolded one arm and gestured to the building behind him. “How about: because this establishment serves alcohol!? IDs please.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, then I stole a glance at his nametag.

“Listen, Will—“

“That’s ‘Iron Will’ to you!”

“Pfft!” I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Ok ’Iron Will,’” I said condescendingly, “we’re not here to drink. We’re here to see Trixie.” I cocked my head and leaned closer. “She IS on tonight, right?” I whispered.

“She is!” he replied gruffly. “But without IDs, the three of you won’t be seeing her. Got it!?”

“Why the hell do we need IDs?” I shrugged. “Do we seriously look that young?”

He pointed at the girls. “Those two look like minors, especially her!” he shouted, referring to Twilight. “And it’s Iron Will’s job to keep minors from entering this establishment, so you can either show Iron Will some IDs, or you can follow your tootsies and move along!”

I turned to have a look at the princess. In all fairness, she did look pretty young. After a quiet groan, I turned back to the bouncer. “Look dude, I’ll be honest: they don’t have IDs, OK? They’re not from around here.”

Will shook his head and waved us to the side, disgusted by the excuse. “No IDs, no entrance! Move along; Iron Will’s rule!” he barked. To my shock and awe, he raised one arm and flexed his bicep. Then he did the same with the other, except this time he brought it in and pressed his lips to it.

“Did you just kiss your muscles?” I sneered.

“Move along! You’re holding up the line!”

I held my hands up. “OK look, we just came to see the show. These ladies actually know Trixie, and they really wanna see her do her thing. Now, I know they look young, but they’re actually a lot older than you think.” I pointed a thumb at Twilight. “Believe it or not, she’s actually in her thirties.”

“HER THIRTIES!?” Will half-bellowed, half-guffawed. “DOES IRON WILL STRIKE YOU AS A RETARD!?”

“A little, yeah. If you see him, could you please tell him that for me?”

He shook his head and gritted his teeth. “WHAT!? I’M IRON WILL!” He pointed down the sidewalk. “Now for the last time, BEAT IT, LOSER!”

Patience: gone.

Before doing anything, however, I glanced over my shoulder to check the lineup behind us; everyone was either talking, staring at their phones, or just looking down at the ground as they endured the cold. No one was watching us, luckily, so I turned back to face Will. “Actually,” I stepped forward and reached for the wrought-iron gate that stood to his right, grabbed one of the metal vines from between the bars and plucked it off.

TING!

“Here,” I continued, holding the short length of metal up with my fingertips, making sure he could see it. “You wanna see what I really think of iron, Will?”

He watched with steadily widening eyes as I bent the piece of metal into a horseshoe shape with ease before holding it out to him. Mouth hanging open, he brought his hand up so I could drop the hunk of metal into it. The colour drained from his face when he felt its weight come to rest in his palm—not to mention how warm it had gotten after being reshaped so quickly.

I leaned closer to speak quietly. “If you don’t let us in, that’s gonna be your spine, bud.”

Backing away, I watched with a smirk as Will slowly reached over to unclip the velvet rope, keeping his eyes glued to the piece of metal in his hand.

“There’s a good man,” I said, patting his shoulder as I passed, making him jump. “Ladies?”

Will brought his eyes up to Twilight and Starlight. They both brought a hand up and flipped him off, each accompanying the gesture with a wide smile. He narrowed his eyes and growled as they made their way past him, using each other for support as they bumbled along.

*****

Goddammit. If I run into one more third-person talking motherfucker tonight, I’m gonna lose my shit.

After paying the admission, I led the way through the dimly lit room, weaving through a sea of round, black tables, each one surrounded by an irregular ring of chairs and centered with a fake LED candle inside a simple, red glass. At the front of the room was a smooth, black stage with a runway that protruded outward amongst the forwardmost tables.

After a quick scan of the surroundings, I noticed an empty table just to the right of the runway. It was the last remaining seat with a decent view, so I made a beeline for it, waving the girls along. As I made my way through the crowd, however, I heard the sound of unrest growing behind me. The noise grew; an angered huff here, a ‘what the fuck?’ there. More and more, the racket became louder until finally, curiosity got the better of me and I turned around to see what was going on. When I looked back, I saw Princess Twilight and Starlight Glimmer…

Flipping. People. Off.

Flipping everyone off. Literally everyone in sight. With both hands. And they were smiling while doing it!

Eyes wide, I gasped and ran back to them, waving my hands in the air. “Whoa-whoa-whoa! What the hell are you doing!?”

They stopped and faced me, confused.

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.

“What do I— You’re flippin everyone the bird!”

She and Starlight glanced at each other, brows furrowed. Then they looked at me again.

“What bird?”

“The bir— … GAH!” I pointed to her hand. “That! Your finger!”

The princess raised her middle finger at me. “You mean this?”

“Yes!” I cringed, waving her hand down.

She complied, still looking confused about it.

“But… you said it was a sign of friendship,” Twilight protested.

My mouth dropped open. “Whaaa!? No, I—when the hell did I say that?”

Twilight cocked her head. “Earlier tonight, on the way to get hot chocolate; you saw your friend walking, and you two did it to each other. You said it was something that friends do, so we were just—“

“No! I meant...“ My hands had found themselves on top of my head by then. I stared at the princess in total shock after realising that she was right. “Oh Jesus, I did say that.”

She creased a brow at me. “Golden Arrow, what’s the matter with you? Who is Jesus?”

After a short, vacant stare, I slowly lowered my hands and took a cautious look around the place, only to find dozens upon dozens of eyes glowering back at us. I glanced over my shoulder to see if that table was still free, which it was, so I stepped closer to them.

“Come on. Let’s go sit down.” I gestured to the table, letting them go ahead of me this time. “Just keep your fuckin hands down. And don’t look at anybody.”

We approached the table and sat, Twilight in the middle, me on her left, Starlight on her right.

“OK,” The princess cocked her head and frowned as she glared at the stage. “What just happened?”

I licked my bottom lip and then bit it as I turned my head to face her, very slowly.

After a few minutes and a quick explanation of what the middle finger actually meant, the princess and Starlight were both staring at me with eyes wide as saucers, their mouths covered by two hands each.

“Yeah.” I nodded, facing forward.

“Ohhh... my goodness…” Twilight began to turn around to look behind us, but I was quick to stop her.

“No. Just… keep your eyes forward, at least ‘til the show starts.”

She faced forward again, rubbing her temple. “I can’t believe we just did that to everypony; this is so embarrassing!”

I shook my head and leaned close. “Eh. It was kinda my fault anyway.” I gave her a little nudge and a smirk. “It’s OK. It’ll be one of those things we can laugh about later.”

She and Starlight each gave me a smile, but the moment was interrupted when a purple hand came to rest on my shoulder and gave a firm squeeze.

“Well well, lookie what the cat dragged in!” a male, but very effeminate voice said from behind us.

I turned and looked up to find a tall, lanky man standing behind us, wearing a gray double-breasted suit with bold pinstripes running its length. His skin was smooth, coloured in a rich, purple hue. His hair was a full-bodied coiffure of bright orange, as was his thick, curled moustache.

A big smile crossed my face the second I recognised him. “Stee-hee-hee... VEN!” I chuckled, reaching around for a handshake, which he granted. “What’s going on, buddy? You still runnin the show here?”

“Well of course I am! What else would I be doing? This place just wouldn’t be the same without Steven Magnet at the helm!” he replied with a limp-wristed wave and a sly smirk.

By then, Twilight had turned to see who was talking. She gasped when her eyes landed on him. “Oh my gosh!” she exclaimed, drawing his attention. “You! You’re Steven Magnet?”

“Well what did you expect, a sea monster?” he fired back dryly, raising a hand to inspect his nails.

“HA!” I chuckled, giving him a nudge. “How do come up with that crazy shit?”

“Oh, you know...” he giggled, waving me off. “So I hear you had a little trouble out front. Tell!”

“Oh.” I folded my arms on the table and shook my head. “Yeah, that fuckin ‘Iron Cunt’ wouldn’t let us in cuz he thought these two were under age,” I explained indignantly.

“Oh well, he’s just trying to do the job I hired him to do—you know, keeping this place nice and legal!”

“Fuckin unbelievable!” I declared, shaking my head. “The nerve of some people, eh?”

“OOH, hoo-hoo-hooo!” Steven giggled as he wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. “Oh, it’s true, it’s true! Oh, how I’ve missed having you around; the things you say, you magnificent prick!”

“Don’t call me that,” I muttered, letting my eyes wander the room before looking up at him again. “Listen, these girls aren’t as young as they look,” I explained as I waved a finger at them. “They’re kinda like me; well, not exactly like me, but… the age thing is kinda similar—only not.”

“Hoo-hoo! Clear as mud!” He cocked his head and looked at me rather sternly. “But still, without IDs, and how young they look…”

I rolled my eyes and groaned. “Come on, dude, you know you can trust me. How long have we known each other? How far back did me and your old grand-pappy go? Huh? Come on.”

He rolled his eyes and smirked. Then he gave his head a little shake. “I don’t know, Mr. Arrow; if I was to get caught with them in h—”

Before Steven had time to finish, I reached up and pinched one side of his moustache between my thumb and forefinger. Then I gave it a little tug, just enough to get his attention.

“OOH! My moo-stache!” he cried, bending forward slightly to relieve the tension.

“Listen, Stevie,” I said quietly, with only him close enough to hear. “It’s dark in here, OK? No one’s gonna notice,” —I nodded towards the stage— “especially once the show starts.”

“Mr. Arrow, relax!” he scolded, squeezing one eye shut and wincing. “I was just giving you the greased banana! I wouldn’t dream of asking you or your lovely ladyfriends to leave.”

“I know,” I chuckled as I released him and then pointed at his moustache. “That’s why I didn’t rip that fuckin thing right off.”

”Well then…” He took a few seconds to groom the orange tips with his fingers. “Anyhoo, for your information, I didn’t come over here just for a visit, you know.”

I raised a brow. “Oh?”

“No, silly!” He gave my shoulder a little tap. “I wanted to apologise for Mr. Will’s belligerence earlier; now, I wouldn’t do this for just any old somebody, but I wanted to offer the three of you something to drink to make it up to you. First round is on the house!”

I threw my hands up and let out a huff. “Isn’t that the reason for this whole hubbub in the first fucking place? That’s not even what we came here for.” I turned away when he shrugged innocently, shaking my head as I scanned the surrounding tables. “You’re all over the place, Steve.”

“I was just having a kid with you, Mr. Arrow, Calm down! What happened to your sense if humour?” He placed a hand on my shoulder, leaning closer. “Besides, you know you have a history with us; my family is in eternal dept to you. There is nothing you could ask for that we won’t accommodate.”

After a pause, I looked down at the table and sighed. “Fair enough.” Then I raised a hand to him. “Just make it two though, OK?”

Steven smacked his lips. “Ah, yes. You never were much of a drinker, were you?”

I shook my head and faced the stage as he took the girls’ order. “No.”

“What’re you sweethearts having?”

They glanced at each other and then looked at Steven with a shrug.

“I… have no idea,” Starlight admitted.

I looked up at him again. “You know what? Surprise us. Bring whatever you want.”

Steven closed one eye and looked at me sideways, like he was trying to size me up. Then after a moment of consideration, he snapped a finger and pointed at me. “I’ve got just the thing!”

I turned back to the stage and waved him off. “Yeah, man. Whatever. Bring ‘em chocolate milk, for all I care.”

“Oh, this’ll pack a much bigger punch than that!” Steven said as he slithered away, weaving gracefully between the tables.

I started to turn around again, but along the way my eyes landed on Starlight, which reminded of something. I quickly put my hand in the air and looked behind us. “STEVE!” I shouted, making him stop and look back. “Bring straws!”

He snapped his fingers, pointed my way and then continued on his mission.

I faced the stage once again, running my tongue along the inside of my cheek. Starlight and the princess were speaking quietly to one another, too softly for me to hear in the ever-present murmur of the crowd.

I cleared my throat and leaned closer to listen to what they were saying, thinking I might join in the conversation, but was stopped when I noticed the lights dimming. The three of us went silent and looked around before bringing our eyes to the stage, realising the show was about to begin.

A pair of spotlights flicked on next, placing two overlapping circles against the red curtains that hung along the rear of the stage. Music began to blare from the speakers next, a song that immediately made me chuckle.

Oh my god, she’s still coming out to this?

An unseen announcer came over the loudspeaker. “Alright everyone, it’s time to put your hands together for the amazing, the magnificent, The Great and Powerful Trixie! Awwww yeah!”

The three of us watched intently as a pair of azure hands slipped out from between the curtains and then tore them open, revealing the illustrious Trixie herself. With her hands on her hips, she traipsed forward to the front of the stage and stopped just before the runway, listening with her chin held high as the audience filled the room with cheers and hoots.

Not much of her act had changed since I saw her last; still the same classic —albeit cliché— song by Europe, the blue colonial-era frock she wore, the purple witch hat covered in yellow moons and stars, that single hook-shaped lock of white hair hanging beneath it, the way she swaggered around the stage—all of it was exactly the same as I remembered.

The spotlights followed her as she paced the stage from left to right while a swarm of smaller, multicoloured dots of light zig-zagged around her. She tossed a wink to someone in the crowd here, gave a coy little smile there; music pumped into the room, the bass rumbling the floor beneath our chairs.

A pair of purple hands passed over us from behind, distracting us momentarily as they set a pair of glasses down in front of the girls, followed by a pair of shots, which were dropped into the larger drinks. I glanced up to see Steven wink at me before placing a pair of straws on the table and then disappearing into the sea of tables and swirling lights.

I glanced briefly at the girls as they took the first sip and then looked at each other, their faces plastered with perplexity, followed by a grimace from each.

I smirked, figuring that Steven must have gotten them something that might prove to be interesting later—if they had enough of it, that is.

I brought my attention back to the show just in time to see Trixie remove her hat and flip it upside down. When she did, a fair-sized white dove emerged from within and flapped its way around the stage; it soared over the crowd toward the back of the room, no doubt completely and utterly panicked.

I returned my eyes to the stage after watching the bird disappear from sight. Huh. Well that was new.

Trixie placed the hat on her head and then ran her fingertip along the brim before sauntering to the far side of the stage, the audience’s applause barely audible above the deafening music.

This is when I felt something tap my shoulder, and I looked to my right to see Twilight leaning in to say something.

I leaned over, looking down at the table as I aimed my ear at her mouth.

“QUESTION,” she shouted, loud enough for me to hear. “WHAT DO YOU CALL IT IN THIS WORLD, THE PLACES WHERE THEY DO MAGIC?”

I raised my head to look at her with an arched brow. “MAGIC?”

She nodded. “YEAH. WHERE THEY PUT ON MAGIC SHOWS ‘N STUFF; WHERE THEY DO THEIR TRICKS. WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?”

I looked down at the tabletop as she took another sip. “UHH… I DON’T KNOW, THEATRES? CLUBS, MAYBE? SOMETIMES THEY JUST DO IT ON THE STREET. WHY?”

Twilight shook her head. “NO… THAT’S NOT IT. YOU CALLED IT SOMETHING DIFFERENT BEFORE.”

I was confused. “WHEN?”

“ON THE WAY HERE,” she replied. “YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT THIS PLACE; WHAT DID YOU CALL IT AGAIN?”

“THIS PLACE?” I asked, jabbing the tabletop with my finger. “NO-NO, THIS IS A STRIP CLUB.”

She cocked her head, brows furrowed inquisitively. “A WHAT?”

POOF!

A bright flash drew our attention to the stage, which was now obscured by a massive cloud of white smoke. The three of us watched with bated breath, waiting to see what might emerge.

To the delight of everyone in the room, what appeared seconds later was indeed Trixie, however her wardrobe had gone AWOL—all except for a light silver thong. Her fit, yet curvy blue figure was bared for the pleasure of everyone fortunate enough to be there that night; the hat was gone and her silvery hair bounced with each step, her hands on her hips as they swung to the rhythm of her stride, which was timed to the beat of the music. Her bare, full and yet perky breasts jiggled deliciously each time those high-heels clopped along the stage.

Twilight and Starlight’s jaws nearly hit the table amidst the overpowering roar of hoots and hollers. I, however, laced my hands together and then placed them on top of my head as I leaned back, watching those round hips swing to and fro; Trixie certainly did sport a nice layer of plumpness on those thighs of hers, not to mention that lovely, round caboose—not as pronounced as Pinkie Pie's, by any means, but enough to give her just the right amount of 'badda-boom' as she pranced along the runway. My eyes crept upward as she approached our table, taking in the sight of those dark blue nipples: erect and proud, casting shadows across her breasts in the bleaching flood of the spotlight.

“Ohhh man, I forgot how much I missed those big, blue titties,” I said, at a volume that only I could hear. I shook my head slowly, watching as Trixie approached the pole at the end of the runway —which I may have neglected to mention earlier— only a few feet from our table. She wrapped her hands around it and hung upside down, her hair swinging to the floor as she held herself in position, gravity forcing her breasts to ride high on her chest as she spread her legs and pointed her toes outward, her slit covered only by that narrow strip of shiny, silver material…

Author's Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jK-NcRmVcw&feature=youtu.be

Also:

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Don't laugh at my Photoshop skills