Chapter 109

I rubbed my chin thoughtfully, staring down at the grimy mess of wires that covered the engine like a plateful of spaghetti on a toddler’s head.

“Hmm… gonna have to run the datalink connector through the firewall, then I’ll have to…” I trailed off and cocked my head, followed by a sigh. “Oh yeah… fuckin APPS sensor, too-“

There was a knock at the door. Surprised by this, I looked over my shoulder towards the sound, wondering who would have come all the way out here so late at night. “Hm.” I started across the shop, weaving between tool carts and engine stands along the way.

When I reached the door, I grasped the knob first, then paused to clear my throat before opening it.

It was Twilight Sparkle.

“Hi,” she greeted, with an awkward smile.

“Uh… hey,” I replied, staring vacantly at the unexpected caller. “What brings you here?”

She shrugged, hands folded timidly. “I thought there was training tonight.”

“No.” I gave my head a shake. “No, didn’t Sunny tell you? It was cancelled.”

Twilight sighed. “No, unfortunately, she didn’t. Not until I got to Fluttershy’s house about forty-five minutes ago and found no one there. I texted Sunset and she replied with: ‘no, there’s no training tonight.’ So... I take it that means there’s no training tonight.”

My mouth fell open. “Aw shit. Sorry about that. Sunny told me she would text you,” —I shook my head, dropping my eyes to her feet— “Jeez… so now you came all the way out here for noth-“

I paused, and then raised my chin to look overtop of the petite young woman into the yard.

“Wait, how’d you get here?”

“I rented a car,” she replied, scratching her ear somewhat sheepishly.

I closed my eyes and hung my head. “Ugh… Jesus, you rented a car, too?”

“Yeah.”

I let out an exasperated sigh and shook my head. “Dammit, Sunny,” I whispered. “Sorry about this, Twi. Look, I’ll pay you back for the rental if you w-“

“Oh…” She raised a hand and shook her head. “No-no, that’s OK. It’s just as much my fault; I should have texted to confirm before I went ahead and did all this.”

I rubbed my brow for a second, looking into the shop behind me, then back at her. “OK, tell you what: from now on, I’ll do the texting to let you guys know when training is. How’s that?”

Twilight nodded. “Sounds good. You don’t have to feel bad though, Golds; I’m not upset.”

“Well, still…”

We stood in silence for a moment, fidgeting with our clothes and wringing our hands together until finally, I drew a breath and spoke up, pointing over my shoulder. “Did… you wanna come in? I mean you’re here now; I’m not just gonna make you turn around and drive all the way home again.”

“Oh, well… sure, I guess. Thanks!” She smiled and stepped inside, unzipping the black fleece jacket she was wearing.

“I’ll take your coat if you want,” I offered while observing her outfit: a silky, dark purple button-up shirt and a pair of light gray tights. Her hair was rolled into a bun on the back of her head with those straight-cut bangs in place as always, leaving the thin curls that hung by her ears the only decorative part of her otherwise plain style. “There’s some hooks in the living room—over here.”

“Sure,” she replied, folding the coat over her arm as she followed me across the shop.

“How’s it going in here, Flutters?” I asked as we entered the side room.

The shy girl, who was wearing a pair of my coveralls —which were way too big for her— turned from what she was doing to face us, holding a trowel in one hand and a rag in the other. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and her face was smudged with dusty, white streaks.

“Oh... um, pretty good, Goldie; I’ve almost got the grout done, and- OH!“ Her face lit up suddenly. “Twilight! What are you doing here?”

“Hi, Fluttershy. I uh… thought we were training tonight,” Twilight replied with an embarrassed chuckle.

The shy girl’s shoulders dropped suddenly. “Oh dear, and you came all the way out here for nothing? How awful.”

“Eh, it’s OK,” Twilight replied as she handed me her coat to hang it up.

“We’ll make sure it wasn’t for nothing,” I interjected, passing Twilight to approach Fluttershy. “You’re more than welcome to hang out here, Twi.”

Fluttershy backed away as I stood where she originally did, inspecting the tiles that made up the new tub surround.

“Um… h-how did I do?” she asked softly.

I ran my fingers along the light aqua-coloured squares, inspecting them for flatness and alignment. Then I nodded. “Looks great, hon.”

Fluttershy smiled and giggled softly, looking downward. It was obvious that she was trying to hide behind her hair like she always did, but having it tied back kept it out of her face, leaving her glowing cheeks exposed.

I couldn’t help but smirk at her; seeing that pretty face in full view like this was rare, and even covered in dust and streaks of grout, Fluttershy’s rosy complexion and modest smile were just about the cutest thing imaginable.

“How are the taps?” I asked, peeling my eyes from the yellow beauty to check the faucet handles.

“Oh, um… good! I finished all the plumbing this afternoon,” she replied, with a calibre of pride that was adorable enough to kill a small child.

“Can I try it?” I asked, glancing at her as I gripped the handle.

“Sure!”

I turned the knob and watched the water fall to the floor of the shower, then I turned it off quickly to avoid splattering droplets everywhere. I repeated the process with the other knob. The result was the same, so I turned to her with a thumbs-up.

Twilight was right behind us by then, observing with a thoughtful finger on her chin. “Wow Fluttershy, are you remodeling Golds’ bathroom for him?”

“Mh-hm.” The girl nodded enthusiastically. “There was some damage in here that needed to be fixed.”

“Huh! You did a great job,” Twilight nodded as she surveyed the freshly laid tiles. “I didn’t know you knew how to do this kind of stuff.”

“I didn’t,” Fluttershy shrugged. “Goldie taught me.”

Twilight looked at me and smiled. “Ah. I should have figured.” She paused, studying the workmanship once more before turning to me, looking slightly bemused. “Damage from what?”

I paused, chewing my lip. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” Turning abruptly, I headed out of the room. “I’ll leave you to it Flutters; don’t wanna hold you up.”

“Oh… well, I think I’m gonna... um, stop for tonight, actually.”

I paused and turned to face the shy girl. “Oh…”

“I-is that OK?”

“Of course,” I replied. “You got a lot done today, and you did an amazing job. The only thing left, really, is putting up the glass.”

The real reason I hesitated was that I didn’t want to be stuck here, alone with Twilight. I hadn’t spent an extensive amount of time with the lavender girl one-on-one yet, plus I was quite busy with my project to have the ambition to entertain someone on my own. “Hey,” I said to Twilight, “did you wanna go with Flutters and hang out at her place?”

“Umm…” Twilight rubbed her chin as she considered the offer—that is, until Fluttershy chimed in.

“Oh… no, I’m just gonna have a shower and look after Linkie and Angel, and then I’ll probably clean the house for a bit. It won’t be very exciting at all.” Fluttershy turned to me, smiling brightly. “Maybe Twilight could help you work on the car tonight.”

Damn it, Flutters! I clapped my hands and rubbed them together. “Great idea, Flutters! I could really use a hand, actually.”

Twilight looked to me, raising a brow. “What are you working on?”

I waved her along, sighing. “Let’s go have a look.”

Out in the shop, Twilight and I stood under the hoist, looking up into the empty engine bay of the old Diplomat.

“So that,” —I pointed to the engine on the floor nearby— “is going in there,” I explained, aiming my finger up at the car.

“And… to be clear,” Twilight replied, “this is the car you and Sunset brought Fluttershy home in?”

I nodded and put my hands on my hips, looking up at the greasy undercarriage. “Yup, this is the one.” I shook my head and chuckled. “I just couldn’t bring myself to scrap it… you know? It kinda has sentimental value, plus it’s still in great shape. It’s just terrible on fuel, that’s all.”

Twilight approached the new engine and stood over it, rubbing her chin. “So… you think this one will be more efficient? What kind of engine is this?”

“Well, did you see that wrecked Dodge pickup outside?” I asked, pointing with my thumb in the direction of where the donor truck sat outside.

“Yeah, I did, actually.”

“I picked that up from the junk yard for dirt-cheap. It’s an ’08, and it had a good five-point-seven Hemi with the five-speed automatic transmission. Damn good score if you ask me, and it’ll make way more power than that old three-sixty and probably use half the fuel.”

“Hm. Impressive,” Twilight replied, walking around to the far side of the engine. “So… wait, you’re gonna use the transmission too?”

I shrugged. “I kinda have to. This engine is computer controlled, so there’s no TV cable to control that old Torqueflite; plus it won’t physically bolt up to the Hemi. Not only that, it only has three speeds; so with no overdrive it just screams going down the highway, which is part of the reason it was so bad on fuel.” I turned to the lavender girl and put my hand up. “Trust me; it’s easier and better just to use this tranny.”

“Fair enough.” Twilight folded her arms and appraised the work area once more. “So… OK, one more question: why are you doing this, exactly?”

I shrugged one shoulder. “Bored… kind of. Since I lost my job, I have to keep myself busy or I start getting antsy. Plus I had a bunch of that money left over from the mission and I don’t really feel like driving all the way to Richmond to put it back, so I’m just gonna waste it on unnecessary shit like this.”

Twilight giggled. “Hey, it’s your money.”

Fluttershy had emerged from the side room by then and was making her way toward us. She’d taken the coveralls off and was now sporting a pair of teal tights and a light blue V-neck shirt. Her face was still dirty, and her hair remained in the pony-tail.

“You headin’ out?” I asked as she approached and put her arm around my waist.

“Mm-hm,” she nodded, smiling sweetly.

“OK well, I’ll see you back at the house. Good job today on the bathroom.”

“Oh, well… it was kind of, um… fun, actually, learning how to do that stuff,” she confessed.

“Well hey, you’ve got the time. Might as well make use of it and learn new things. Right?” I asked, turning to Twilight.

“Absolutely,” Twilight agreed.

“I know,” Fluttershy giggled, blushing. “Well… I’m gonna get going.” She leaned in for a kiss and then turned to Twilight, who chuckled when she saw me licking the dust off my lips. “Bye Twilight. Have fun!”

“Oh, I’m sure we will,” Twilight replied. “See you later, Fluttershy.”

After Fluttershy made a quiet exit, I turned back to the engine and prodded at the wiring loom for a moment, thinking quietly to myself as I kept a veiled awareness of Twilight standing somewhat awkwardly to my right.

“So…” she said, scratching her ear. “What’s uh… on the agenda here?”

“Um… I’d like to get this wiring sorted out, but I can’t really figure out how I’m gonna route it until the engine’s actually in the car, which means I’ve gotta do that first,” I explained. “So… I guess I might as well start working on the motor mount brackets.”

“Oh. You don’t have any?” she asked.

“No.” I pointed at the mill in the corner. “I’ll have to cut some pieces out on that machine and weld them together.”

“Oh! Well, I can do that for you, if you want,” Twilight offered.

I looked up at her, surprised. “You?”

She nodded. “I took machine shop as a summer course a few years ago,” she explained. “Most of it was just theory —I mean, the hands-on portion definitely left something to be desired— but I’m sure I can handle it. If I have any questions I can always ask.”

I stood and brushed my hands off on my pants. “OK, sure. Let me just, uh…” I chewed my lip momentarily, looking around the workspace. “I had the measurements written down here somewhere… ah! There.” After spying a lone piece of paper on the tool cart, I walked over and picked it up.

After going over the specs with her, I showed Twilight how to use the mill and before long, she was underway, wearing a dirty shop coat with small chips of steel flying past her, some of them catching in her hair and hanging there like jagged, bluish-purple jewelry.

I used my newly-acquired time to take some measurements for the exhaust system, then I changed the spark plugs in the new engine. After that, I took the mounts off the old engine and cleaned them up.

By then, Twilight had finished machining the plates and was standing next to the mill, measuring the pieces with a micrometer.

She looked perturbed by something.

“How’d it go?” I asked, noticing her expression.

“Uh… not bad,” she replied absently. “But not every measurement is consistent; a bunch of them are off by about two thousandths of an inch.” She huffed and let her hands drop, chewing her lip as she tried to figure out where she went wrong. “I don’t understand. I had the exact numbers showing on the display. How can they be off like this?”

“The exact numbers were on the display?” I asked.

She nodded.

“Well that’s all it is then,” I said, shrugging it off. “I usually go a couple thou extra, just cuz the cutter tends to deflect a bit.”

Her brows furrowed, and she looked down at the part again. “Huh… I hadn’t thought of that. Like I said, most of the course I took consisted of theory only; that, and the class was grossly overbooked so I didn’t get very much time to actually use the machines.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty useless…” I said, glancing down at the messy floor. “Theory is all well and good, but a lot of this stuff you really only learn by doing. That’s OK though, you don’t need to be so fussy about it. Two thou’s not enough to worry about; the mounts have rubber bushings in them so there’s a fair bit of give.”

“Oh. OK then.” She set the micrometer down and picked up the rest of the pieces. “So these need to be welded together now?”

“Yeah. You want me to do that?” I smirked at her. “...Or did you take a welding class too?”

Twilight giggled. “Of course I did! And I actually got lots of hands-on practice in that one. It was a good class, actually.”

“OK then.” I pointed to the far corner of the shop. “Welder’s over there. Have at it.”

While Twilight was busy welding the mounts together, I hooked the engine up to the crane to get it ready to set into the car. Just as I was lowering the hoist to get everything ready, Twilight came back with the finished pieces and handed them to me for inspection.

I was pleasantly surprised.

“Damn Twi, these are some fuckin nice welds!” I nodded with approval as I turned the bracket over to inspect the other side. “Wow, seriously… I couldn’t have done it better myself.”

With darkened cheeks, she began to twirl her finger around that coil of hair that hung next to her cheek. “Oh… well, like I said: it was a good class. Plus I’m pretty sure I passed with the highest mark.”

“I’ll say. These are top notch. I am impressed.”

Once the brackets were bolted to the engine and transmission, I lifted the assembly up with the crane, wheeled it above the car and started to lower it into the engine bay.

Before, with the equipment running, Twilight and I were unable to talk to one another over the noise, but now the shop was fairly quiet and we had grown somewhat accustomed to being alone together, which inevitably led to some interesting conversations.

“What the fuck does that mean, ‘you’re only seven years old?’ Aren’t you like twenty-six?”

“Of course I am,” Twilight replied, leaning on the fender with her tiny lavender hands folded. “I’ve been alive for twenty-six years, but that doesn’t mean my body is that old—well, most of it, anyway.”

“Is this, like… some kind of metaphorical shit?” I asked, to which she giggled.

“No,” she replied, “I’m not technically seven. I actually range from twenty-six to only a few months; since August, when I turned, to be exact.”

I sighed, slowly. “You’re fucked.”

Twilight laughed, letting her forehead rest on her hands. “No-no, hear me out, Golds; I’m talking about regeneration: cells get replaced in the human body through a process called mitosis, in which a cell will create new, identical cells to replace it before it dies and leaves the body.”

“Hang on, hang on,” I said, reaching down to pull the power steering lines out of the way so the new engine would have room to slip in without damaging anything. “Are you talking about that thing where the human body supposedly gets replaced every few years?”

She nodded. “That’s right, although most people over-simplify it. The human body doesn’t replace its entire self, nor does it all happen at the same rate. Organs that have to endure stress from the outside —like our skin, or the lining of our stomach— get replaced fairly rapidly, while other things like our bones can take up to a decade to fully replace themselves. Other tissues, however, like our brain and nervous system, never reproduce after initial growth—which is why injuries that cause brain damage or paralysis are typically permanent.”

“Hm.” I was still reaching down into the engine bay when I responded, so I couldn’t see her. I was listening, however.

She continued, regardless of how inattentive I might have appeared.

“This is what I was getting at, though, talking about you: you, Golds, are truly remarkable, because your cells don’t regenerate, nor do they die, which means that you —literally every part of you— is over 2500 years old. Every single cell in your body has been with you through your entire journey.” The lavender nerd paused and shook her head, staring at the far wall. “I’ll be in the same place one day, since the same is now true for me; I mean, I’ve been locked in this exact form now since August, and the same goes for Sunset, Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack. We’re all going to be kept young and immaculate, right down to the cellular level for all time; nothing will die, nothing will re-grow—other than the obvious burst of regeneration that took place when we first turned, which is how Fluttershy’s head healed, as well as Sunset’s wrist.” Twilight brought one hand up and touched the corner of her eye, noting the absence of her glasses. “And my eyes,” she added.

I stood upright and leaned on the rad support to face her, noticing how she seemed to be reminiscing about the missing appendage. “Do you miss your glasses?”

She looked at me, and then lowered her hand. “Um… sometimes. I mean, not having to wear them is nice, but I do feel like they were a part of me, which… I know is kinda silly, but…”

“It’s not silly.”

After a short hesitation, Twilight smiled and looked down at her hands.

I smirked and went back to what I was doing. “I remember, actually, when I first met you, I thought those glasses were horrendous because they would magnify your eyes and make them look all huge.” I chuckled quietly, reaching down into the engine bay again. “Actually, you kind of reminded me of Bubbles from ‘Trailer Park Boys’ because of that—except hot.”

“Oh god!” Twilight put her head down, hiding her face. “You have NO idea how many times I’ve heard that.” She quickly lifted her head again to face me, looking somewhat bashful. “Well, I mean… except for the ‘hot’ part.”

I cocked a brow. “Really?”

Twilight froze. Her cheeks quickly became flushed and she turned away. Then she smirked as she looked down and fiddled with the buttons on her shirt cuffs.

Realising what I’d said, I cleared my throat and decided to change the subject. “So, what about my jizz?”

Twilight looked at me again, eyes wide. “I’m sorry?”

I shook my head and looked downward. “I suppose you’ll need some context for that question, eh?”

“Please.”

“I was talking about the cell regeneration thing,” I explained. “I mean, like, if I’ve stopped producing new cells, how is it that I was able to ‘knock you guys up,’ so to speak?”

Twilight drew a breath. “Oh,” she replied, sounding relieved. “That. Yeah. Um, well… sperm production is a different process —called meiosis— which happens for a different reason. You see, meiosis produces cells that are not identical to their parent cell, unlike mitosis. The reason for this is they are not meant to replace cells in the body that are dying off, they are meant for reproduction, and you —quite obviously— still produce them as a normal bodily function.” She placed her fingertips to her chest. “In the case of myself and the other girls, this may or may not also be true, but it’s irrelevant because human females produce all of their eggs by birth, which are then spent over the course of our fertile years.”

While she was talking, I had my hand on the crane and was slowly lowering the engine into the car. “Huh… that makes sense, actually. Am I clear on that side?”

Twilight leaned forward some, peering down between the fender and the engine. “Yup. You’re good.” She leaned toward the back, checking for clearance at the firewall. “The transmission is clear, too. You should be good to come down.”

“Well, I’m still above the rad up here,” I replied. “I’ll have to… kind of go down and back at the same time. Just keep an eye out back there, please?”

“Sure.”

I did as I said and shimmied the new powerplant into the old car, inching it tentatively closer to its new home.

“Hang on,” I said, stopping the process, prompting the lavender girl to lean over and look.

“You’re still clear back here,” she said.

“Yeah, but these A/C lines are in the way up front; I gotta move them before I can drop it down any more,” I explained, turning to get a ratchet from the tool cart.

“Oh OK.” Twilight leaned on the fender again, ruminating to herself as I spun the bracket bolts out to free the impeding lines. After a moment, she cleared her throat to speak. “You know, it’s funny: I was actually thinking about your semen just last week.”

“…Is what someone with a restraining order would say,” I replied, not looking up from what I was doing.

Twilight giggled, putting her head down and placing her palm over her forehead. “No, hear me out, Golds,” she said, putting her hands together and rubbing them. After a pause —which was just long enough to make me wonder what in god’s name she was about to say— she drew a breath to speak. “OK, so… since your sperm cells are obviously not like those of an ordinary man-”

“Hell naw.”

“-I would have to make the assumption that they too are indestructible and never die—this is, of course, based on an assumption I made since regular women can’t be impregnated by you, as well as the effect it’s had on the five of us.”

“Right…” I replied as I set the ratchet down and pulled the lines aside.

Twilight continued. “So it got me to thinking: where does it go?”

I stopped to look at her. “You really need a reminder?”

She giggled and shook her head. “No, I know where it goes initially,” —she cleared her throat somewhat bashfully— “but after that. Where does it go?”

I shrugged. “I dunno… Rare and Flutters usually wipe it up and throw the Kleenexes away, or they hop in the shower… or they just sit on the toilet and wait for it to run out—which I kinda hate.”

Twilight nodded. “OK, ew. So you’d say a great deal of it goes down the drain then, right?”

I paused, then nodded. “Sure.”

“Well, after that, the water goes to a treatment facility, where larger contaminants are screened out and settled, and then organic materials are broken down by bacteria, which is then disinfected with chlorine. From there, the water is returned to a natural resource.”

“Uh-huh.”

She didn’t continue. Instead, she watched me, waiting for me to figure out what she was saying.

I was busy with the engine, however, so my mind wasn’t in the right place to pick up what she was putting down.

“Golds.”

“What?”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

I stopped what I was doing and looked at her. “And what?”

Her eyebrows rose and she looked at me, intently. “Think about it… your semen goes down the drain and ends up in the treatment plant. Right?”

I nodded.

“Well, the screens won’t catch something as small as a sperm cell, and they won’t settle because they... well, swim; and the bacteria can’t break them down because they’re indestructible.”

“Yeah...”

“So… where does the water go from there?”

I turned back to the engine. “It goes back to a natural wat-... oh shit.”

Twilight laughed hysterically, clutching her stomach when I looked at her again with wide eyes.

“It’s in the fuckin municipal water!?” I asked, straightening up.

She covered her mouth and nodded, trying to stifle her laughter.

“That’s not funny, Twi,” I scolded, leaning with my elbows on the rad support as I ran my fingers through my hair. “God dammit… I never even…” —I paused and shook my head— “Why’d you have to tell me that, Twi? Like… you’ve ruined literally everything.”

She waved me off. “Oh it’s not that bad. The dilution factor would be tremendous; I mean, there is over one point three billion cubic kilometers of water on this planet, so the actual concentration of sperm in the water isn’t even worth mentioning.”

“Yeah but, I live in this area… so, the local concentration would be higher, wouldn’t it? That means that people around here —people we know— have probably swallowed my cum; that Cake lady from the Sweet Shoppe, fucking AL from the parts store…” —I paused, grimacing— “my… my BOSS!”

Twilight was wiping tears from her eyes by then, unable to control herself. “It’s OK, Golds… haha! The concentration would still be miniscule. Truth be told, though: you’ve been around for over two millennia; there are probably sperm cells that you ejaculated a thousand years ago still swimming through the Pacific Ocean right now.”

I stood slowly and sighed, studying the motor mounts to see if they were going to line up. Then I looked at Twilight sideways, running my tongue along the inside of my lip. “You know, Twi... there are certain sentences that you just… never think you’re gonna hear. That, what you just said, was definitely one of them.”

She rolled her eyes, then gave me a mischievous smirk. “You wanna hear something that’ll really gross you out?”

“No.”

“Consider this: if we truly are destined to live forever; in a few million years or so, if you continue to ejaculate on a regular basis, how much of your semen will there be on this planet? And how long would it take before it gets to the point where it’s actually noticeable?”

I was rubbing my temple, looking down at the engine. “Oh god, Twi, I don’t know.” I let my arm flop down to my side. “It’s probably best not to think about it,” I concluded as I turned to grab something from the tool cart. Note to self: buy Brita filter.

Twilight was quiet for a moment, squatting down and sitting on her calves as she rested her chin on her hands, watching somewhat dreamily as I worked. “It’s OK, Golds,” she said. “I’m not judging you for it. I mean, technically I did kind of contribute to it.”

“To what?”

“To… you know. The water.” She swallowed. “One of those ejaculations was… with me.”

I paused to look down at her and was met by a pair of deep, purple eyes gazing up at me. Nervous, she laughed for a split second, and then her face immediately went neutral again.

“Oh… yeah.” I reached back and turned the handle on the crane to lower the engine.

Twilight remained still, watching the powerplant sink into its new host.

“I’m sorry about that, by the way,” she said, which caught me off guard.

After stopping the engine’s descent, I leaned back so I could look past the crane at her. “Sorry for what?”

“For… you know. Us. When we…” She finished by clearing her throat.

I shook my head and frowned. “Why?” I asked, confused.

She shrugged. “Just… because of how I acted that day. Like… like it was a business deal or something.” She closed her eyes and gave her head a shake. “I was just trying to make it less awkward, but… all I really did was make it worse, and I made myself look weird and controlling in the process. Plus, I just sat there and let you do everything. I denied you —and myself— an experience that could have been much more enjoyable; something that we could have looked back on without… you know, feeling awkward about it.”

I sighed, looking down at the rad support. Then I looked at Twilight. “It’s OK. I wasn’t put off by you or how you acted. Trust me; sexual interactions without any romance or foreplay involved usually don’t go without any awkwardness. There’s just no way around it. And as for you just sitting there: don’t worry about that.” I shrugged. “You don’t need to try to impress me. I thought it was fine the way it went.”

She shook her head. “I know, but… it wasn’t about impressing you, it was more about impressing myself: to do something crazy… wild… unexpected. Something the geeky little Twilight Sparkle wouldn’t normally do… and I blew it by treating it like some kind of lab project.”

I snorted and leaned on the front of the car with my elbows. “Blew it? Seriously? You had pre-meditated sex with your friend’s boyfriend —in her bathroom— to become immortal. In what way is that not crazy?”

She sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Seriously, Twi. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. Most people would be too chicken-shit to do what you did; especially the way you did it. You knew exactly what you wanted, and you went for it. To be honest, I have nothing but respect for that.”

After a modest pause, she answered. “I guess.” She looked up at me and smiled. “Thanks, Golds. I feel… a bit less stupid about it now. I guess.”

“You’re the least stupid person I know, Twi,” I replied as I went back to lowering the engine.

Moments passed. I was busy jiggling the engine around to try to get it to land in the motor mounts; but still, I made an effort to continue conversing with the girl beside me.

“So… read any good books lately?” I quipped.

She snorted. “Tons.”

“I can’t believe that’s all you’ve been doing every night. Don’t you get sick of it?”

Twilight shrugged. “Not really. Every book is different, after all. Although… ever since my outing with Rarity, I’ve been finding it harder to concentrate. Especially when I started building the reflex therapy machine.”

I let out a chuckle. “Is that what you’re calling it now?”

Her first reply was a giggle. “Well, that’s what it’s designed for,” was the second.

“I guess.”

“But…” she continued with a sigh, ”the past couple weeks I’ve been reading less and less —I mean, I still do it every night— but, it’s become somewhat… tedious, lately.”

One last shove got the engine to drop into the mount, and the bolt holes lined up perfectly. “Sweet!” I grabbed the bolts from the cart and then replied to Twilight. “Yeah, you gotta take breaks once in a while; even from the things you love doing. Except banging Flutters.”

She nodded. “That’s exactly what I’ve been doing—I mean, not having sex with Fluttershy; I meant reading. Lately, when I start to get restless, I’ll put the book down and do something else for an hour or so.”

“HA! Like watching porn?” I joked.

Twilight’s mouth opened to reply, but then she hesitated. Her eyes darted around nervously, and she reached up to rub the back of her neck.

Noting the lack of reply, I glanced over at her. It didn’t take me long to figure out what her deal was.

“Oh… my… god. You do watch porn, don’t you?”

Her eyes locked with mine, wide as can be. “I… no, well… mayb-“ She covered her eyes suddenly. “UGH!” She then took her hands from her face and held them out. “OK fine! I do, OK? I, Twilight Sparkle, watch internet pornography! Happy?”

“I’m actually disappointed in you, Twi,” I teased.

She groaned and leaned on the fender. “Well… I may be a nerd, but… I’m also a girl with needs, just like everyone else.”

I shrugged and cocked my head. “Pfft! Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone does it.” I reached down between the engine and fender to slip the bolt through the mount. “So…” I grunted, “you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to, but… do you… just watch, or…?”

She cleared her throat and looked downward, chewing her lip. “No. I, uh… not usually. I tend to keep myself busy for about an hour or so, like I said.”

“Noice.” I adjusted my position for a better reach.

“It helps to clear my mind, you know? That way I can concentrate on reading when I get back to it.”

“That’s understandable.”

She drew a deep breath. “Except for that one time I… forgot to turn the therapy machine off.”

I stopped what I was doing, and then after a pause, I started to laugh. “Oh god…”

“Uhhh… yeah…” she cringed, wringing her hands together. “I was… just about… I mean, I was almost there, and… it went off right then and took a swing at me.”

“Did you dodge it?”

She shook her head. “Didn’t even try. I was so distracted with… you know; I didn’t even see it coming.”

“Ooh. Got you right on the noggin, did it?”

“Uh… no, actually; I had my head tipped back, so… it hit my chin, which made my teeth chomp together, like… really loud.” She shook her head and sighed. “AND it knocked me right off the chair, too.”

I grunted again, trying to contort my arm so I could reach the mount hole. “Dammit!” I cursed. Then I glanced at Twilight. “I bet that was a buzz kill, eh?”

She shrugged. “Meh. I actually just finished up on the floor.”

“Pppfft! Wow.” Realising I wasn’t going to be able to reach the hole, I shook my head and withdrew my arm. I stood upright and sighed, appraising the engine bay to see if I could think of another way. “I can’t reach to put this fuckin bolt in,” I said, glancing at Twilight. My eyebrows rose next, and I pointed at her. “Hey! You’ve got little arms; you wanna see if you can reach in there?”

She cocked a brow and smirked. “I can do you one better,” she replied, holding her hand up.

The bolt cloaked itself in lavender and rose from my hand before floating down into the engine bay. I watched in astonishment as it slipped effortlessly through the hole and then spun itself tight.

My mouth hung open as I turned back to face her, slowly. “Ho… lee… shit. Where have you been all my life?”

She shrugged and giggled as I held the second bolt up.

“Here. Might as well do the other one.”

Twilight raised her hand again and repeated the process on the other side. Once it was fastened, I unhooked the crane and raised the hoist so the car was above our heads to bolt the transmission mount in place. Then we brought it back down again.

“OK, moment of truth,” I announced as I grabbed the intake box and plopped it onto the throttle body. “Let’s see if she clears the hood.”

I reached up to grab the hood and brought it down slowly, squatting to see under it when it was almost closed. When all looked well, I pushed it down, hearing that relief-inducing click as it latched securely.

I stood and brought my hands together. “Nice! High five, Twi!” I cheered as I turned to the lavender girl with my hand raised.

Smiling, Twilight raised her hand and connected it to mine.

“Nice job on those mounts, by the way. It fits fuckin perfect.”

She smiled timidly and folded her hands. “Do you think you could get it running tonight?”

I shook my head. “No, no way. There’s a lot of wiring to do, plus I have to buy an electric fuel pump for it. The original engine had a mechanical pump, so there’s no way to get fuel from the tank right now.”

“Ah.” She nodded.

“Still, we got it in the car,” I said, rubbing my chin as I looked at the old Dodge. “That’s a pretty big accomplishment for one night.” I looked down as I reached into my pocket to fish my phone out. “What time is it, anyway? ...Two-thirty,” I mumbled after checking the time.

“So what else is left to do?” she asked as I tapped at my screen to send a message to Fluttershy, asking what she was up to.

“Fuck… tons.” I shook my head as I put my phone away. “Lots of wiring, rad hoses have to be made, driveshaft, I have to install the gas pedal from the donor truck for the APPS sensor… there’s a pretty big list still.” I sighed, lacing my fingers together on the back of my head, staring thoughtfully at the car. “To be honest, I’m kinda losing my ambition for tonight. Getting that engine in was kind of a milestone, so I feel like we deserve a break. Don’t you?”

Twilight nodded.

I gestured to the washtub, near the back wall. “Here. Let’s get cleaned up.”

She peeled the shop coat off and hung it on the cutting torches before following me to the sink. We stood in silence as we scrubbed our hands clean, listening to the water gurgle down the drain.

“Yeah…” I said idly, “once I get it running and driving OK, the only thing left is to install that.”

I motioned to a large, colourful box sitting on the work bench. Twilight glanced at it, then back at me with her brows furrowed.

“What…” she paused for a second to give the box another glance. “Is that what I think it is?”

I nodded slowly, with a mischievous grin on my face.

She glanced at the box a third time, then returned her eyes to me again. “But… is that really necessary?”

I shrugged and put my hands under the tap to rinse the cleaner away. “Not really, but I had some money left over, so I figured: hey, why not?”

“Yeah, but that’s hardly a reason to-”

“Hey,” I cut in, grabbing the towel to dry off. “You know what they say about a fool and his money, right?”

She stared incredulously at me for a moment. Then a smirk began to inch its way onto her face, and she shook her head slowly. “Alright then… it’s your project, I guess.”

Once clean and dry, I did a quick walk around the car to check for tools or important parts that might have been lying on the floor. After not finding any, I was about to invite Twilight back to Fluttershy’s house, but something in the rear seat caught my attention.

“Oh shit, that cooking stand is still in the back,” I said as I opened the door and reached in to grab it. “Let me just get this outta here; hopefully it hasn’t poked a hole in the seat or some shit.”

I spent a few minutes taking the pieces out one-by-one to set them out of the way while Twilight stood by, watching. “We should do that again sometime—the breakfast steaks. Everyone seemed to enjoy them, eh?”

“Mm-hm,” came her reply from out of sight.

Once all the pieces were out, I looked into the car again, scanning the back seat for damage. “Hm… seems OK. That’s good.” I backed out, stood upright and pulled my phone out, leaning on the car’s roof with my arms while I checked for messages. “Huh… no reply from Flutters,” I mumbled as I put my phone away.

When I turned to face Twilight, I froze in place like a statue.

On her face was a look of nervousness, likely due to the fact that she’d unbuttoned her shirt half way, revealing a lacy, beige bra, which was holding a pair of modestly-sized breasts in place.

Before I had a chance to say anything, she raised her hand, and I quickly found myself enveloped in a warm glow, then I was shoved backwards into the car by her magic, where I landed across the seat on my back.

“Whoa,” I grunted as I lifted my head to see where she was.

Twilight crawled into the car and positioned herself overtop of me on her hands and knees. Her shirt draped down, allowing me to see her breasts being cradled inside that bra.

“Uh… Twi? What’s this ab-“

“I…” she cut in, but then paused, “…wanted to propose a do-over, in regards to the intercourse.”

My mouth hung open, allowing my heart to nearly jump out. “A-an intercourse do-over?”

She nodded once. “An intercourse do-over.”

I blinked a few times, then closed my eyes as I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening, feeling those coils of hair that hung from her temples tickling my face. “OK, wait, w-w-wait… why, exactly?”

She exhaled slowly, allowing her body to settle down against mine, abdomen first. “Like we discussed earlier, I’ve been… disappointed with how the first time turned out, and… I want to make it right; to do it right.”

“But… I told you before, you don’t have to-“

“I want to.” Her face inched closer to mine. “And this time… we can be free. No rules, no stipulations, no inhibitions, no holding back. Just you... and me... and our bodies connec-“

Twilight stopped suddenly, her eyes moving around the car as she sniffed the air once, then twice more.

With a racing heart, my own eyes began to dart around the faded interior. I sniffed a couple times, then I looked back at her. “Oh… yeah, I gotta shampoo this interior.”

Twilight looked down at me, grimacing.

I shrugged in defense. “Hey, we drove all the way from New Mexico with FIVE cats in here. What else d’you expect?”

After a pause, she rolled her eyes. “Ugh… lets get out of here.” she said, to which I nodded. She brought herself upright to sit on my thighs.

I sat up as well, watching her chew her lip as she turned to the left, looking past the front seats through the windshield.

Twilight paused suddenly when something caught her eye; then she faced me again. “That hood looks pretty comfy.”

I glanced through the windshield and then back at her, nodding. “Yeah… it kinda does.”

“Let’s go,” she said, crawling backwards to exit the car.

Twilight stood back as I got out, pausing when I noticed her not moving.

“Do you think… Fluttershy and Rarity will be OK with this?” she asked, tapping her fingers together anxiously. “I mean, they did tell me recently that, if I wanted to, I could… you know… with you.”

“I kinda think you just answered your own question.”

She nodded. “I know, but… I think they just said it to be polite. I don’t know if they actually expected me to do it.”

“Definitely not,” I replied. “I sure as hell didn’t expect this. But in all seriousness, with all the boinking that’s been going on lately, I really doubt they’ll care.”

“Yeah...” she replied. “That’s what I was thinking. What about you? Are you OK with it?”

I paused, mouth open. “Uh… I think I can manage, yeah.”

Twilight’s cheeks turned rosy. She smiled, unable to hide her excitement as she brought her hands up to finish unbuttoning her shirt.

I raised a finger. “One thing, Twi: can you try to, like, not bite me this time?”

She undid the final button and swung her shirt open, revealing her tiny, lavender figure, complete with a little button of a navel and a narrow, smooth waist. She raised a brow, giving me a knowing smirk.

“I promise nothing.”

Then Twilight came towards me and wrapped her arms around the back of my neck, pressing her little body against me as her soft lips slammed against mine.

Before I knew it, her tongue was in my mouth, and thus began my wild night with Twilight Sparkle.

Author's Notes: