How are you all? Enjoying this little tale that Bait has been making? Please tell me that you've been spreading the word about this, after all, this is a real story.

Or perhaps the imaginings of a boy that doesn't know when to grow up. A child reaching out for his own attention and dying to be loved because he is actually alone. I'll leave whatever is on the table for you to decide, if you actually care.

You see, that's the funny thing about humanity in general, you get obsessed over something so simplistic as a show about talking magical ponies, but can hate complex and confusing things like politics, reality TV, and chocolate eggs with caramel in the middle (seriously, how can you not love those?).

By the way, Bait, don't panic that you aren't able to get on your computer, I've just have it under my spell for the moment. You can go back to whatever you were making up after this, but I wanted to tell the segment that you have clearly missed and may actually give you a little more 'insight' as to what I really want from you and the rest of the gang.

Pay attention here, you just may miss your chance. Now, let's rewind the clock, as it were, and go back to when I first met Min Tea, or as I called her, Messenger.

Min Tea screamed as I wrapped around here and winked away from the alleyway and into a cell. This was the place that Conquest had been chained inside, he was being overviewed by two guards at his cell door. I say WAS, because with a little whisper from my lips, both of them fell asleep on the ground.

"Marian," Conquest moaned, causing Messenger to gasp and approach Conquest and look at his eyes, the normal shine was gone, a symptom I had been able to replace in lieu of turning his coat into a gray shade. Give me credit people, mama didn't raise a foal. Because if she did, I didn't know. Twilight Sparkle's last encounter actually taught me something about discretion, if I made his coat turn gray, then Celestia and a few other ponies would link that to him being underneath my control.

Messenger looked down at the guards at the door and rushed to the rusty gate and slammed her hooves against it, "Help! Somepony help us!"

Grabbing the startled girl, I wiped my hand over her mouth, covering it with duck tape and silencing her. "Oh shush, how can I have a proper discussion between the two of you when you're mouth won't stay shut." Playing it unusually safe, I stuck my head through the bars and looked down the hallways to insure that nopony had heard and that we weren't going to be disturbed. Turning back I could see Messenger struggling to remove the tape and couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of a pony that knew how to pinch fingers but had none to use.

"Alright now, Messenger," I softly spoke, leaning down to speak to the upset mare. "I would like you to tell your friends about Conquest and get them all riled up so they feel like they should do something." Taking the glasses off of her face, I gave a breath on it and wiped it on my fur, making sure it was nice and tidy before sliding them back on her and watched her eyes go wide in shock. "Do you see the future? You can thank me later, because that's the next part after you tell Bait and Trigger about Conquest. Be my prophet and cause the townfolk unease before I reveal myself to them and what this place and all of Equestria will become."

Messenger could see me, standing right there, in a fog of fallen stone and pony bodies around her. The sky was on fire and slowly burning away into a nice annoying shade of yellow, followed with flying coat hangers, and she could also see four familiar looking shadows standing with two other ponies on top of the hill, a dark rainbow shooting from them and over the world. She shut her eyes to stop looking, trying to ignore what I pictured Equestria to become when the Elements of Harmony fell and no other pony could stand up against me.

Not wanting to be stopped by a seclusive mare, I tapped her mind and made her open her eyes again. "Don't be a spoil sport, you do want to be truthful about the Aponylypse don't you?" I saw her eyes begin to slowly turn, the favorite part of my power over the minds of my victims. To confirm her full conversion, her coat turned into a gray shade and then faded back into its original state. Not only did I have to make sure that she looked the part, but they still needed to act the part, which was a pain to even try and figure out with those pure hearted ponies, but with humans, it wasn't hard to make the connections I needed without making them acting like a 180 degree version of themselves.

A clank came at the cell door and I cautiously turned to see who it was, and gave a sigh of relief to see Shining Armor at the door with the keys. He gave a smile and unlocked the door, his eyes flashing blue and stepped inside. "Discord, I trust you have what you promised the Queen?" The fake Shining Armor held the keys close to him until I revealed the heavy scroll I had behind my back.

"I'm glad that Crystal did get my message, for a moment I believed she had forgotten about me." I held the scroll out to the now shifting Shining Armor as I placed it in his holey whooves.

"Her name is Chrysalis now, Lord Discord," the changeling buzzed revealing his true form to keep his power from waning.

"Oh, she will always be my Crystal," I cooed, tickling the chin of the changeling who gave an involuntary buzz of affection. "Find enclosed, the information about Cadence and the wedding plans that she and Shining Armor are trying to keep under wraps. Do tell her that once I'm finished here that I'll take her out to dinner sometime, we have catching up to do after 10,000 years of imprisonment, hmm?"

The changling changed back into his disguise as Shining Armor and threw the keys at me, allowing me to pocket them in my front fur coat pocket and giving it a pat of satisfaction. The disguised changeling gave a bow to me and then began trotting away so he could make his escape from the castle and left me to continue my talk with my converts. I started rubbing my hands together and looked over Messenger. "You can go back now, dear. I'll tell you when to start crying out in the streets tomorrow." Snapping my fingers I sent the mare back to the alleyway that she saw me, letting her believe that she had only saw a shadow and got scared of it.

"Come with me, Conquest," taking the keys and unlocking him from his chains we both began walking out of the dungeon and were greeted by the sound of guards rushing down the hallway. He looked over at me in fear, and I only gave him a smile as we both fazed through the guards like ghosts. "Don't you worry, my little brony," I humbly spoke, listening to the sound of the guards now panicking about how Radiant Radar was not in the cell and the guards were asleep. "I've made sure that we won't be seen or heard as we are."

We continued to walk around the castle, watching the guards, some butlers, and even the princesses begin to run around to find my servant, I finally made it to Princess Celestia's room and gave a bow to motion Conquest inside. We both entered and found exactly what I needed. A pen and paper.

"Imperfect!" I kissed the paper and set it inside the envelope, balling my claw in a fist and gathering energy in it, when I had finished, I had made a snazzy watch that Bait was sure to enjoy. Stuffing the watch inside as well, I began to make calculations in my mind. "Now let's see, if Bait is at Fluttershy's and Messenger is with Trigger making root beer, then... the bridge." I wrote out the destination for where Bait was to be found when the gray mailmare would notice the extra piece of mail in her bag during her catch-up run.

"Best to take things slowly before he sees my, ahem, daughter. Trusting faces and the sort, you are already aware I'm sure." I talked to the emotionless Conquest, and gave a sour face before turning back to the envelope and walked towards the window. "You're not a good conversationalist like Bait is, now he's a hoot to mess around with." Giving a gentle blow on the envelope, I pulled back and sent it flying out like a Frisbee as it began to fly erratically towards it's destination. Giving a sigh of satisfaction we left the room of Celestia and soon re-entered the now closed cell of Conquest.

"Have a seat here," I pointed and watched him plop down, staring at the doorway. "I'll keep the keys with me until we begin the assault tomorrow night, but for now, make sure you do your mental exercises, because Celestia is going to have fun trying to read your pretty little head."

"For the last freaking time! Discord is still imprisoned! Remember? The radar? The cutie mark?!" Radiant screamed at Celestia as I watched over the conversation taking place underneath me as I sat on the support beam of the throne room. Everything is also fun to watch if you're upside-down too, so I slid down and got a bucket of popcorn.

Screw physics, I'm Discord.

"Then how come I can read his presence in your mind?! You've been in contact with him somehow!" Celestia bellowed back, using the Royal Canterlot Caps Lock. I gave a deep breath to the smell of 'Slow-Cooked Celestia' and gave a squeal of delight, reminded of the times of our first meetings and driving her crazy by announcing to everyone that we were getting married for years. It made it even more fun that she knew I was actually in the room, but couldn't sense me. "Your mind is so convoluted it's neigh impossible to even get the truth out of you!"

Her horn pulsed again and made Radiant scream out in pain, making me cringe, I enjoyed when ponies were mad, but when they started getting violent, it killed the mood rather quickly. I tried to keep Conquest's mind under wraps, basically making Celestia tear off a layer, and I would secretly put one on right in front of her eyes. I pulled out a tape recorder and pressed the record button, "Note to self, say you're sorry to Conquest about having him deal with Celestia and not fight back." Releasing the button, I went back to my popcorn to see a lavender pony wearing a propeller cap inside it and the popcorn was gone, she gave a gulp and looked up at me with her swirling eyes.

"Hi, Daddy!" Screwball gave a smile to me and made me melt a little on the inside, I was becoming old, sentimentality was not normally my forte. In fact, I don't believe music fit into it at all.

"And how's my little ball of energy been?" I lovingly whispered, giving a small kiss to her forehead and making her squirm in joy in the bucket. She may not really be my daughter, but she has been the closest one that I would consider to not be a fan, or a convert, just a pure lover of chaos.

"I'm boooorrreed," she whined, something I had only started to sympathize with, in 10,000 years I actually enjoyed floating in my own little mind world, I had friends that liked to be pranked and would prank back, our government was based on King of the Hoard rules, and everyday was pizza day. But ever since I was released by those three fillies that called themselves the 'Cutie Mark Crusaders', things weren't the same. I did go back at one point, but it just didn't settle with me anymore. I suddenly felt as if I had looked at a picture I had made as a child and I couldn't appreciate it now.

"Well, my dear," I softly spoke and flicked the propeller and watched it spin slowly, "we'll both be having fun very soon." Flicking the propeller again, it went faster, once more and it was fully spinning and she began sliding out of the bucket. "Daddy has work to do until then, so be patient a little longer, okay?"

Screwball gave me a sad expression as she popped out of the basket and flew away, I again centered my attention to the arguing unicorn and alicorn and watched as she then called guards over as they surrounded his worker. "Get him in a secure room, until we find the master keys, do NOT lose sight of him, I want guard swaps done on a fifteen minute basis!" She yelled, causing the guard she was looking at to lose his helmet from the force of her voice. He gave a salute and then ran to get his helmet as Radiant was led out of the throne room.

I managed to slide around the beam, scattered down to the floor, and moved behind a pillar to get a closer look, likening myself to a secret agent avoiding the watchful eye of a camera. Of course, I was still hiding via my own magic, but a god can imagine can't he? I watched as she went to her throne and put her hooves in her face and tried to calm herself down. "I thought you'd be used to my tricks by now, my dear," I whispered, seeing Luna approach the throne to take her turn as ruler.

"Be careful tonight, Luna," Celestia quietly whispered, making me smile cheekily, she still kept herself together just for her sister. I had to admire that at least, for her to deal with a grieving sister who turned to loneliness as her escape while I was gone, it had to have been as hard or worse than anything I could've done. I broke hearts, sure, but they mended, hers however remained broken until Luna finally returned from her own punishment on the moon.

Kinda makes you tear up doesn't it? It was a beautiful drama, and it tugged at your heart and made you care about them.

Gag me with a silver spoon. Not the filly, I mean an actual spoon, I can actually do magic tricks with that kind. Her on the other hand requires Diamond Tiara in order to have their brain cells actually crash into each other. If there is one thing I hate more than goodie two-shoes, its spoiled and arrogant ponies.

Forgive me, I realized I've gone on a tangent, you don't like those very much do you? Well, my mind works off of those tangents so give me a break if I ramble for intense periods of time over things. Let's see what happens if you become a god and told to cause untold suffering and hate to ponies and see how well you hold up, hmm? I could've been something special, god of commerce, god of communication, god of cider, OF CIDER! But, no, I took the humble way out, I took what I considered the hardest job that one could have and had to wind up having to try and stop harmony at all costs!

Although, I will admit the god of harmony does have a good plot. Maybe I should try and make up to her?

No!

Yes! It'll be perfect! I'll come in with a suit, tie, flowers, be the perfect husband, and then after a year we'll get into arguments and then settle for divorce! I'll call it, 'The One Night, One Year Stand', BRILLIANT! Wait, how long have I been standing behind the pillar?

"Oh, crap," I mumbled to myself and shut my eyes, unsure of where the process of the plan was. That's when I got to see you again Bait, chugging down a bottle of High Concentrated Apple Cider. I knew I picked a good one when I saw you stumbling around on stage and laughing like a maniac, if the spot wasn't taken by moi, I'd say you'd be just about a perfect candidate for god of chaos.

Or cider, have you thought about being a god of cider?

Trigger also cared about you a lot, saving you from a beatdown by Rainbow Dash and that other unicorn. You picked a good mate with her, Bait. Messenger had left the party area already, no doubt because she was getting sick by seeing the dead ponies lining the streets of the town. So I figured I'd stop by and take the lady to her home. Well, she called it a place to stay, I called it a barn with no bed. So with a snap of my fingers, I was now walking alongside Messenger, who at first gasped in shock, but then returned to her tired look as we kept on the trail.

"So, did you tell them?" I asked as we strolled along, the trees whispering their hellos and goodbyes as we passed them. I gave a wave to many of them as we passed along, not wanting to be rude.

"They know about Richard," she droned, poor girl must've been getting sick of seeing the destroyed world that she walked on, but it was all for a good cause, so I didn't pay too much mind. I did raise an eyebrow as to why she didn't call Conquest by the name I had given him. I did make sure she was to call him by the code name I had given him didn't I? I gave a few taps to her head and checked, it was working right, or at least it should've.

"Why aren't you calling Conquest by the name I had given him?" I said with a little frustration following it, making her know I wasn't happy about how she was able to override something I put in her head. She however kept quiet, this was the problem with humans as well, you can manipulate them easily, but they could play the game just as hard back. This was going to be a hard group to control, but with two days time, I could hammer out whatever mental blocks they had.

Maybe.

Alright, I'll be honest, I was playing with fire. But the last time I did it, I had thousands following my every word, I was being called the god I should be. It was glorious.

You don't change much after 10,000 years, right?

We reached the barn and I could see the big red stallion was still awake and waiting by the house door, poor fella. I felt tempted to give him a good scratch behind the ears and make him act like a dog again, but that wouldn't be something that I want to do. You don't play the same trick twice unless it's for a good reason, and its hilarious. If you have to debate about it, then you don't play the cards that are dealt for you.

"You're not sleepin' in the barn tonight, missy!" The stallion stopped Messenger from opening the barn door and took her by the hoof, looking at her eyes. "That party must've been hard on you, it's like you saw everything you didn't want to see and more." Messenger closed her eyes and nodded at the stallion who began leading her to the home, I could feel the wretch of vomit creep up my throat, I will never get over how disgusting a caring pony is. She was able to go in, but I stayed outside, leaving Messenger to her own devices as I turned back to the town.

Instead of teleporting into town, I just walked. Plain. Simple. Something that I hadn't really done for a long time. It was always, click, I'm here, click, now I'm here, click, where could I have gone? I had even started doing a small dance as I got to the entrance of Ponyville, and went towards Sugarcube Corner to see the unicorn that was on stage with Bait was trying to reach a window and was intercepted by him.

"Need some help robbing a house? Or are you one of those stalker types that I have to watch out for?" Bait said, still showing how impressive he was in a pinch for sarcasm. I got worried that he may not be able to do the work that I needed him for, so I figured a small test would be fine. Pushing the ladder ever so slightly as the unicorn reached out to Bait, I saw him catch her before she fell. Underneath the unicorn, I saw a box fastened underneath her cape and could smell the Poison Joke inside.

I gave a shrug as she got pulled in and let whatever plan go through, sometimes chaos doesn't even need a shove from me.

Oh wait, I did shove that ladder didn't I? Well, that statement still stands, just not there. I gave a yawn and transported back to the garden and my 'house' being the statue that was meant to keep me from running around. Going down to the broken toenail in my (or is it 'our' since I'm looking at me from the outside?) left foot and seeped back inside. I wasn't at full power, but I was getting close, and I needed Conquest to make the full jail break so that the two of us could tear apart the castle and proceed into the next phase.

I called it, 'Step 2: Electric Boogaloo' or the more appropriate title, 'Conquest the Castle'. Settling down for the night, I made a beanbag and curled up for the night. Even gods need sleep when they have big days to plan after all.

So, Bait. After you read this, let us all know if you want to continue with this side project. Because I do happen to know a nice rainforest that I could send you hurling towards and wish you 'Good luck', and 'Have fun,' and of course laugh at your unfortunate circumstance. In fact, I'm giggling right now as to what your decision is going to be!