The first thing I heard when I woke up was a very feminine scream.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

“FUCK! I’m up, I’m up!” I yelled, falling out of the...bed?

The fuck? Where am I?

“You’re finally awake! Took you long enough.” I turned to see Luna, Celestia, both in their true forms, Die, and a very scared looking Ven in bed next to me. taking a calmer look around the room, I saw it was similar to a hospital.

“Sooo, where are we? Oh, and did we win?” I asked as Luna levitated me back into the bed and hugged me tearfully for a brief second.

The door to the room slammed open, and Shade ran in in a doctor’s uniform, “I heard a scream, is everyone OK?”

“Ven’s just having nightmares.” Die said with a roll of her eyes.

“Of course he would, after kissing you.” I replied with a forced grin.

“What happened? I remember seeing Die... Dying, I gave her a potion... then..” he trailed off, and shrugged.

“You don’t remember? You went berserk and killed Akumu, sorta. You even sealed his sword in stone, permanently, and him for a couple of centuries, at most. So, we don’t have to worry about him for a while.”

He gave it a moment to sink in, “... I did what!?” He shouted.

“Wait, he beat Akumu? Wait, LUX! Where’s he?”

“He’s fine, from what I saw, he had only a bruise on his shoulder, he’s in the dark room with Erahaor.”

“Figures. And...Tox...she’s really...” I trailed off, not wanting to face it.

“Yes, Lux found her body, and gave it a proper burial.”

“Dammit...I keep thinking I can save everyone, but I can’t save anyone. DAMMIT!”

“Wait... Tox... died?” Ven said, his eyes widening in shock.

“Umbra turned her into a sinner, and I had to fight both him and her at the same time. I kept thinking I could save her, but instead, I’m the one that killed her.” I said, unable to look him in the eyes.

Ven stood up, and walked out of the room muttering “It’s just like before.”

I looked around. “What did he mean by that?”

“I dunno,” Aqua said, also wearing a doctor’s outfit as he walked in, “That’s the closest he’s ever gotten to talking about his past, actually.”

“I’m gonna go talk to him. Luna, make sure Noctis stays in bed.” Die said, running out the door. Luna nodded silently and started grinning at me.

“Ok, one question. How long have we been out for, and are we anywhere near the mysterious tower?”

“It’s saturday... the seventh... of may. Also we’re outside Twilight town, since the only known passage Discord is gonna take is the ‘ghost’ train.”

“Two months? Well, that’s not so....WHAT THE FUCK!?”

“Told ya,” Aqua said, holding out his hand to Shade, who dropped a sack of bits into his hand.

“Ok, what was the bet?” I deadpanned. “And when can I get out of this hospital bed?”

“The bet was who would shout it first: you or Luna. And we aren’t in a hospital, this is the SWMB, or Swagwagon medical bay.”

“Ok, then when can I get out of this SWMB bed?”

“You already healed a week ago, you just needed your rest... and we may have drugged you to stay unconscious a bit.” Aqua said with a grin.

“Ok, I’m used to being drugged, sorta. The SOLDIER program put us through worse. I saw the game, it doesn’t even cover half of the augmentations we underwent.”

“Yeah... Well, I recommend exercising... a lot. The two months unconscious has made you a bit weak.”

“Can do! Also, what happened to the disguise disc Discord gave me? Has Lux had a chance to study it like he intended?”

“He didn’t even try, the moment he arrived he walked off to find a place to think.”

“I...see. Is he still in mourning for Tox?”

“He hasn’t left the dark room for two months. He’s lucky he can eat darkness.”

“And I’m lucky I don’t have to eat. Right?”

“Actually... You do have to eat.” Aqua said as he walked out.

“What are you talking about? I’m immortal, remember? I haven’t needed to eat or drink since I bonded with the Orb. What changed?”

“Lack of a Lunar Orb?” Shade suggested.

“No...the Orb turned into a keyblade, remember? So it still exists, sorta.”

“Keyblades don’t have that effect, when we left you without food, your body went into a starvation mode. Therefore, you now officially need food.”

“Ok then. Well, at least it means if I ever plan a picnic, I can actually enjoy the meal. Man, that line was crappy.”

“Yes it was. Good day!” Shade said as she walked out.

“Thanks.” I replied, getting back out of the bed, before being levitated back into it by a stern-faced Luna.

“And where do you think you’re going?” She asked with a cold tone.

“Uhhh, to exercise?” I said, confused. “Didn’t they just say I needed to get exercise so my body could recover.”

“True, but I said to Die was that I would keep you in bed for a bit, and I’m gonna do just that.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And how are you gonna do that?”

A grin crossed her face. “I have my ways,”

Immediately, Celestia got up, and left, mumbling something about “Those fools and their silly games.”

I jumped out of the bed again, but Luna just levitated me back onto it, this time casting several restraining spells to make sure I stayed put. “Dammit. Luna, let me go.”

“No” She said sternly.

“Pleeeeeeassseeeee.” I said, trying to put on a puppy-dog face. I say tried, because it was about as cute as a pile of garbage.

Luna began to laughed at the look on my face, and in her lack of focus the magic restraints disappeared. I took the opportunity to dive into my own shadow, and I waited until I saw her leave from inside the shadow zone. I prepared to exit, but I felt a breath at the back of my neck.

Oh, crap.

“Indeed, Noctis.” Came the stern, yet slightly amused voice of Luna. I couldn’t even muster up the strength to turn and face her.

“I’m gonna die, aren’t I?” I said quietly, closing my eyes and waiting for the inevitable blow. It never came. Instead, I was turned around and grabbed in a tight hug.

“Uhhh, ok? Wait, you’re not gonna kill me?” I asked, confused.

“What? Why would you think I’d....never mind. No, I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to force you into the bed and I’m going to tie you down so you don’t leave.” She replied sternly.

I flashed her a grin. “Didn't know you were into that sort of thing Luna.” It most definitely had the desired effect. She blushed so red I thought she was gonna burst into flames. Instead, she shot me a smirk.

“Well, if you’re so adamant about staying out of bed, let’s see how you handle being sealed in here for a few hours.” She said, exiting through one of the many windows. Followed by all of them closing right after she left.

“Fuck.” I said. as I looked around to find that there wasn’t a single window anywhere. “Dammit Luna.”
__________________________________________________________________

GODDAMN IT LUNA! ONE JOKE AND YOU STICK ME HERE FOR 2 WHOLE FUCKING HOURS!?

I’d been trying to create my own window for the past 15 minutes. Needless to say, it hadn’t worked, and to make things worse, I was starting to hear voices in my head. One voice stood out against the rest.

“Noctis... Why did you kill me?” Tox’s voice came from every direction, yet from nowhere at the same time.

“You know why, Tox.” I said calmly, though I was anything but. “We both saw, once it took you, there was nothing left that I could do. I tried, I failed, that’s all there is to it.”

“But there is something you can do now.” another voice said.

“I’m not interested. Tox is gone, trying to bring her back is just tempting death.”

“Ah, but that’s only if you haven’t looked into it beforehand.” The voice said, a female sound to it.

“What makes you think I haven’t?” I asked angrily. “When my parents were killed, I looked it up all the time, to the point that I became a recluse to all but my sister. All my research proved one thing. Death. Is. Permanent.”

“Ok then, I’ll play along, what methods did you try?” The voice said, seeming amused

“I didn’t try anything. I researched several topics. All of them would result in death without even coming close to achieving a resurrection.”

“Then I guess you didn’t try Alchemy.” I could tell from the sound that whoever the voice belonged to was trying to keep from laughing.

“Alchemy? You mean that fool’s science?” I scoffed, trying to ignore the voice as I continued to search for a way out.

“Fool’s science? Really? I guess you haven’t heard of the golden sun, or the fact that there are whole worlds where Alchemy is true, besides, different dimension, different rules.”

“Yeah yeah, in my world it’s a fool’s science. I’m done talking. Bye.” I said, trying to forcibly create a portal out.

“Fine then, I guess I won’t help you get out either.”

“I don’t need your help. I’ve got it covered.” I replied.

“Very well.” A window opened, and I saw a figure go through, before it disappeared.

Well, at least she left me alone now. I thought to myself as I refocused on creating my own window.

Suddenly, all the voices I heard began to mutter basically the same thing“You idiot, much longer and you’ll be a permanent resident, you could have at least tried to get the shade walker to help you leave.”

“I DON’T NEED HELP!” I yelled as I pushed as hard as I could on a specific spot, shattering the darkness and creating a temporary window. “There. Told ya.”

I saw a hand waving from the other side, “Nice to see you again, still, how did you know where I was going to open that?” The voice from before said, “You know what, actually don’t answer that, I’ll have it soon enough.”

“The hell?” I said in confusion, trying to back away from the window, only to find myself frozen in place. “What the fuck?!”

“I’m sorry, but I need a body.” The figure began to evaporate.

“Yeah, and why should I let you have mine?” I asked, putting up a weak barrier.

“Because I can bring back the one you killed.”

“Oh, and what’s the catch?”

“I get to use your body to visit someone.” The voice said.

“Who?”

“Someone I should have visited two centuries ago.” I could have sworn I heard sadness and... Regret?

“....Alright.” I muttered. “You can stay with me. But they can’t know about you. Just make it look like the zone made my guilt exponentially larger or something.”

“... Thank you.” The black mist the figure became then began to float around me, and rapidly flew into my eyes, mouth, nose, and ears.

Before my vision faded to black, I had just one question. “Who are you anyway?”

“I wish I could remember.” I heard, and then all was black.
__________________________________________________________________

This is what it feels like to be a horse? I thought it would actually feel different to being human. Weird...

‘Technically, I’m a pony, not a horse...second, you’re using my body, which is technically already used to being in this form, so you’re feeling it as I would.’ I heard Noctis lecture.

Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Now, what first?

Recieving no answer from himself, I decided to try my luck and walk around randomly. Surprisingly, walking was a hell of a lot easier than I thought it would be.

Wow, never thought having four legs would be so easy... Or feel so familiar.

‘Like I said, experiencing it through my body, which is already used to it.’

… Shut it.

‘Ok...I’m starting to wonder whether this was a good idea...’

Trust me, it’s a good idea.

‘But what if you’re wrong...what if it backfires when you try to bring Tox back?’

If it backfires... Well... To say the least, it won’t be pretty.

‘So you’ll die? Then let’s not do it. You can stay here indefinitely if it means you won’t have to go back there.’

Wanna mess with the others on the ship? I asked.

‘If you mean making them think I’ve gone mad...eh, why not. I haven’t tried to prank anyone since I was a kid.’

I know just the thing. We pretend to be trying to revive Tox, y’know, make it seem like you’ve gone batshit insane

‘Wait, wasn’t that the plan anyway? To bring Tox back?’

Yeah... To tell you the truth, the plan in alchemy isn’t perfected. It hasn’t really worked... and when someone DID try it, they lost an arm, a leg, and their brother’s whole body. I admit, feeling a little sheepish.

‘AND YOU WERE GONNA TRY TO DO IT YOURSELF?!’

Honestly? I wasn’t, I just REALLY needed to get out of there. Also, I could reanimate a corpse in a different sense, though.

‘Y’know, if you wanted to just get out, you only had to ask. You didn’t need to go through the whole temptation thing.’

“IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA, OK?!” I shouted out loud.

“Um, Noctis, who are you talking to? And how did you get out of the Shadow Zone by yourself?”

… I leave this to you. I said, and gave control of the body back to Noctis.

“Uhhh, hey Luna, what’s up?”

“What’s up? You shouted while you were the only one around, and you got out of the Shadow Zone after I sealed it. Why, and how?” She asked sternly.

“Uhhh, no comment on the first one, and the second, I forced a window into existence.”

Liar. I said in his mind. Don’t take credit for my achievements.

‘Hey, unless you want Luna to find out and force you back in there...’

… Very well, continue.

“Noctis, don’t lie to me. I know something is bothering you. Just tell me.”

LIE! LIE YOUR ASS OFF! I mentally shouted.

“Alright. It’s just...I still...I still see Tox sometimes...I mean, sometimes I think I see her ghost, blaming me for her death. And the worst part is, I agree. It’s my fault. I thought I could save her, and I failed.”

Wow, nice lie. I said, feeling a little impressed.

‘Yeah, not a lie exactly. The part about seeing Tox is a lie, but blaming myself for her death is true, you know that already though. Now, is this where the prank starts?’

We just have to take it a liitle further. If I had control of the body, I would be grinning right now Make it seem like you’re going to try to revive her, and don’t take no for an answer.

‘Fine.’ He replied. “I’m gonna fix it though. Luna, I’m gonna bring her back.”

“WHAT!? Noctis, I’m sorry for saying this, but HAVE YOU GONE INSANE?!?!” Luna shouted at the top of her lungs.

“No. I can do it. I won’t let death take another of my friends before their time. I’m bringing her back, and nothing’s gonna stop me.” Noctis said, as he walked past her. “And I’ll tell Ven you were looking for him.”

“Wait...how?”

I got this part. I said, and took control, and grinned.

“Through the glorious power of alchemy.”

“I was asking how you knew I was going to ask you to tell Ven that we wanted to see him. But you really think you can bring Tox back with Alchemy?” Luna said, spitting the word Alchemy as if it were poison.

“Trust me, alchemy works,” I said, “I’ve seen it.” And with that, I walked away.

‘Well, that was interesting....so, you wanna go find Ven? Scratch that, you wanna go mess with Ven and my sister? They’re probably in bed together or something.’

That far already? I asked, That’s quick.

‘Yeah...it’s not that quick, is it?’

A bit, considering that two months of the relationship you were both in a coma... and yes, I’m going through your memories. I said, while, you guessed it, going through, and watching his memories.

‘Ok...hey, do you think Luna really likes me? I mean, I know she said it, but I’m afraid of going too fast and wrecking what I already have with her.’

Well, I’m pretty sure she likes you, but you can never really know for sure... Switching control back to you. I said, letting go of the body.

“Ok. Now to find Ven and Clare.” Noctis said as he looked for whichever room they were in.

Evil laugh? I asked.

‘A bit much. How about a pregnancy joke instead? And if alcohol becomes part of the topic, make fun of her for getting Bahamut drunk. That never gets old.’

… One sec, I need to find that memory. I said, flipping through the library of memories he had.

‘Well look fast. We’re here.’ He said, coming to a large doorway. ‘Found it yet? Though I’m guessing by the lack of laughter the answer is probably no.’

Almost... Ok, found it...... What the hell is this? I was watching one of the weirdest things I ever have: a huge dragon getting drunk off it’s ass, and destroying a whole. Freaking. Mountain.

‘Yeah, after that, I forbade Die from even touching anything with alcohol in it. It won’t bring back that mountain though. And I don’t think Bahamut has forgiven her for the hangover...Anyway, let’s head in, pretending we don’t know where Ven is, since I already know he’s there.’

Lets do this. I said in agreement.

With that, Noctis walked in the door. “Die, I came to ask you...where Ven...was...what the fuck!?” He said, covering his eyes at the sight of his sister in nothing but a bright orange bra and a pair of matching panties lying under her boyfriend.

Oh, this is good. I said in my head.

“Um... Uh...” He mumbled.

Noctis started smiling, “It’s cool, Ven. We’re all adults here, and it would be stupid of me to try and tell my sister who she can and can’t be with. It’s her choice, after all. Anyway, glad you’re here Ven. Discord, Celestia and Luna wanted to see you. They wanted to make sure you were ok after...well, everything. I’ll tell them you’re fine, but you’re busy.”

“No, I’ll go see them,” Ven sighed, “You already ruined the mood.”

“Ok. Oh, and one more thing,” He said, turning towards the door and letting me take over, “Name the first one after me!” And we ran out laughing.

‘Ahhh, classic. Hey, isn’t that what Die said to me when she walked in on Luna and me the first time?’

I thought you were quoting her. I said.

‘Wait, you’re the one who said it...so technically you were the one quoting her. And...crap, Ven told her about Discord’s alcohol stash. You wanna take this one too?’

Hmm... Nah, I’m good. I said, and returned control to him.

‘Ok. 3....2.....1....NOW’ He said, slipping in using the shadows. “Don’t even think about it Die. We don’t need a repeat of the Bahamut incident!” he said before slipping back out. ‘Ok. Now, shall we continue with the rest of the prank?’

Damn strait, anyway, we’re going to need 35 litres of water, 20 kg of carbon, 4 litres of ammonia, 1.5 kg of caustic lime, 800 grams of phosphorus, 250 grams of salt, 100 grams of saltpeter, 80 grams of sulfur, 7.5 grams of flourine, 5 grams of iron, 3 grams of silicon, chalk, and a few candles.

‘Wait...we’re not really gonna do it, right? As much as I want Tox back, we both know it’ll fail. And chances are, we’d both die. So it’s just for show, right?’

Yeah, the candles are just for dramatic effect, mostly, so is the chalk, which I’m going to use to just make an random magic circle.

‘Ok. So, let’s pick a room to do it then. Has to be one that’s hard to find, but not too hard.’

Hmm... it would have to be about the size of a walk in closet, and empty too. I added to the list.

‘Ok...got one. So, you wanna be the one to walk in, or should I?’

Sure, I’ll do it. I said, taking over and shadow-walking into the room he’d chosen. Not bad, and the lack of windows is a nice touch, and will go a long way in the lighting.

‘Why thank you. I couldn’t find any completely devoid of windows, but one window isn’t too bad...’

Eh, we can just cover it with this. I thought, picking up a piece of cloth, and putting it over the window.

‘Cool. So, shall we get ready, I get the feeling they’re about to show up.’

Yes, lets. And with that, I drew a large circle on the ground, with an eight point star in the middle. Followed by placing a candle at each point in the circle.

‘Ok, here they come. Shall I handle them or should you?’

You start the conversation, then I’ll take over randomly.

‘Ok. Shall we make it sound like you took over my body against my will?’

That was my plan.

‘Alright then.’ He said. ‘Ready to go!’

Start just by going through the ingredients.

He nodded and started to measure them, not even turning around when his friends showed up. “Get. Out.”

“Noctis, you have to stop this, you have no idea what will happen to you if you mess with death. I do know, but that’s beside the point.”

“Luna already told you about the Shadow Zone, I’m guessing. Then you know I can’t stop. DAMMIT!” He yelled as he spilled some of the salt.

You spilt the damn salt, you wasteful person.

“Only the part about locking you in, the rest I already knew about. And it’s only salt.”

“Yeah, how do you know about the Shadow Zone anyway? Are you a Shadow Walker?”

“A what?”

“A Shadow Walker. It’s what we call those who can willingly enter the Shadow Zone.” He explained.

“Oh... No. As for how I know... I have no clue, I just have the information, with none of the pretext as to how.” Ven said, shrugging.

“Enough. I’m done talking. It’s my fault Tox is gone, now I’m gonna fix it.” He said, reaching for the last jar.

Ven suddenly created a gale, spreading the ingredients over the entire room, and sending some out the window. “I said, don’t. Do it.”

I got it from here. I said, and took control

“You, just made a big mistake.” I said in a more feminine tone than I normally use.

“And you are?” Ven asked me, giving a ‘really?’ kinda look.

“I don’t have a name. All I know is I’ve been living in that damned Zone for the past two centuries. Then this idiot’s girlfriend locks him here, and while he’s looking for a way out, I came in. Even managed to cast some illusions making him and everyone around him think the zone just amplified his guilt.”

“... That... wow... he’s stupider than I thought he was.” he said, shaking his head.

‘Bastard!’

“Aww, don’t talk about my host that way. That’s my job.” I said playfully. “Besides, it’s his bitch-of-a-girlfriend’s fault for trapping him there in his condition anyway.”

‘HEY! NO BADMOUTHING LUNA!’

I need to make myself look like the bad person, remember?

‘Dammit. Fine, but damn, you are good at it...’

“Now, where was I?” I started to gather the ingredients again. “Oh, and this time, no interruptions.” Noctis’ body glowed black, and a dark barrier surrounded us.

“Well, at least you have a better sense of humor that Akumu did. Also, nice barrier. But you don’t seem to have Akumu’s... talent for dark material either.” Lux said, examining the barrier.

“Oh, that’s not normal darkness honey. This darkness amplifies your negative emotions, and turns all of you into targets for each other. In just a few minutes, you’ll be ripping each other to pieces while I perform the ritual, get this kid’s soul ripped out of his body for eternity, and take said body for myself.”

Wow, I am acting like quite the bitch here. I mind said, surprised at my own way of wording things so far.

“Wow... You know next to nothing about this ritual, don’t you? It doesn’t just destroy the soul, but the body as well.” Ven said, “Trust me, I have a good knowledge of death and how he works. As for the darkness... Lux, would you like to handle it?”

He grinned “Aye, captain,” he said, and the darkness began to slowly move, flowing into a dark passage, as it was going in, a small, jagged knife fell out.

“Hey, isn’t that... that unnamed knife you made?” Ven asked.

“Damn it, not again, it just keeps coming back.” Lux complained as he picked it up, and threw it back in with all his might, closing it as the last of the darkness went in.

“Now then,” Ven cracked his neck, and scattered the ingredients again, “How would you like to spend another few millennia in the darkness?”

“Excuse me? Your question makes no sense.” ‘I said.

“Oh?” Ven asked, bending the air around him and becoming invisible, “It doesn’t? My friend here just got rid of your darkness, and I sealed a darkside like yourself in stone for the next 200 years, and you think we can’t banish you to the dark zones?”

“One. I am not a darkside. I used to be a Shadow Walker, until my so called ‘best-friend’ stabbed me in the back when I showed him the Zone. Idiot never knew that if a non-walker enters the Zone and ever lets go of the one that brought them there, the Zone rips them apart, and the remains just fade into the shadows. But it didn’t matter to me. I should have died. Instead, I was cursed to survive as nothing more than a GODDAMN GHOST!” I yelled. “I AM NOT GOING BACK TO THAT AGAIN! EVEN IF I DIE, I AM NOT GOING BACK!”

‘Wait...you were stuck there because your friend betrayed you? I...I’m sorry...’

And you thought that two hours was bad. I thought angrily.

‘Wait, just how long were you awake for?’

The whole thing. I said simply.

“Wait wait wait,” Lux said, “Just one question: once you have a body, what will you do? That’s all I want to know.”

“Why do you care?” I said with a sneer.

“It’s my job as a guardian of darkness and light.” He said with a shrug

“If you must know, I have a grave to visit. After that, I don’t know. I’ll probably just wander around the worlds or something.”

“If that’s all, then I have a separate solution.” Lux said, with his arms up.

“Oh, and just what would that be?”

Suddenly, gear by gear, a bipedal mechanical body began to form next to him, “I happen to be able to control this metal quite well.”

“The fuck!?” I shouted.

Lux rolled his eyes, “Oh come on! I’m telling you I can give you a body made of a metal stronger than diamonds with a simple soul injection, what the hell is wrong with you people?!”

“Wait, what? You want to help her?” Ven asked, staring at him as if he’d gone mad.

“I’m a gentleman, I have to.” He said with a shrug.

“Yeah right. I know how this’ll end. I trust you, then I end up back in the Zone.” I said, glaring at them.

“No, no dirty tricks, as the self proclaimed god of Neutrality, I vow I will not do that.” Lux said with a single hand up.

“God? You? That’s a laugh. You look like one of those kids the bastard used to pretend he wasn't beating up. God, I can’t believe I was ever friends with him now.”

“Don’t believe me? I’ve been to many worlds, seen things that almost prove it. Also I can do this.” And as he said that, a pair of wings burst from his back, one white and feathered, the other black and leathery. Also half his hair turned white.

“That’s...you realise the black one looks like Sephiroth’s, right?”

“Wait... how do you know of Sephiroth?” Ventus asked, looking at me with a bit more interest than before.

“Well, it was 2010 when I ‘died’, FF7 had been out for years. Why, what year is it now?”

“You say you were in there for 2 centuries?”

“Yeah...where are you going with this?”

“My god I’ve been gone longer than I thought.” Ven said, facepalming, “But still, its nice to see someone from my planet again.”

“Wait, you’re from Earth. Please tell me the government didn’t do that to you!” I said, pointing to Lux, horrified.

He was taken aback for a moment before he responded, “No, I was given this power by a being only calling itself ‘wisp.’”

“Seriously, Wisp? What’s next, a guide called Navi?” I said sarcastically.

Ven grinned, and said “Hey! Listen!” in a decent Navi impression, and began to speak normally “Anyway, the year when I left was 2013, Lux left in late 2012. But on a more serious note, Lux, why the fuck are you trying to help her?! She fucking possessed him!”

Lux gave him a cross between a glare and a look of boredom“What part of ‘Neutral’ Do you not understand? I belong to neither your side or hers, I just want my friend free through a peaceful solution, and from what I can tell, she isn’t a threat. Therefore, I will help her.”

“Fine! If it blows up in our faces, it’s your damn fault if she kills us or something!” Ven shouted, before walking to one of the corners, and eating a roll of bread that was sitting there.

Moody much?

“Oooookaay. Your friend is kinda temperamental.” I said. “And by the way, about your earlier comment, Noctis isn’t an idiot. I just had an IQ of over 200, last time I checked. So in a battle of brains, I can beat most opponents.”

Lux turned to me, giving a slight smile, “For the first part, he’s angry because you took over his friend, and soon to be brother in law. Second, and unrelated, Sephiroth had a white feathered wing, Cloud was the one who was drawn with the black leathery one.”

“Not in Advent Children.” I replied smugly. “Sephiroth had a black wing.”

Lux shrugged “Fair enough. Also, what did you mean I looked like one of the people your ‘friend’ beat up.” He said, air quoting the word ‘friend.’

“Just that when I looked at you, your face sorta seemed familiar. I remember my ‘friend’ beat up a kid years ago that had a similar face. Hell, for all we know, it could have been you. That was the first time I ever questioned him.”

“What did he look like?” He said, pulling out a drawing pad from nowhere in particular, with a pencil.

“He was caucasian, 6ft 2, had short, spiky black hair, sharp nose, really small ears, dark blue eyes, and a scar right between them in an S shape from when his old man took a branding iron to him.” I said, shuddering at the last part.

Lux just looked up, saying, “So that’s what happened to him... So he was eaten by darkness, huh?” He said, folding his hands behind his head.

“Not eaten in the traditional sense, he was ripped to pieces and absorbed.”

“Actually, that sounds pretty accurate to the term eaten.” Lux said matter-of-factly

“Trust me, if you saw it, you wouldn’t call it eating. You’d call it puke-city.”

“There actually is a way to show him,” Ven said from the corner, “The VR room on this ship allows you to show memories to others.”

“Seriously? We’re gonna go through this ship where noone knows anything about me, to a room made to fool your senses? This has prank/ambush written all over it.” I said in a flat tone.

“Think what you want, I was just saying that the VR could be useful. Speaking of which, I’m gonna need to do a bit of training once this is done, being in a two month coma kinda isn’t that good on the body.”

“Yeah, it definitely didn’t help your friend’s mental state. Now, just a minute. Gotta get out of this.” I said as I pulled my soul out of Noctis, who passed out from it.

“The fuck just happened?” Ven said, looking down at Noctis, and rubbing his eyes.

“I left his body, genius.” I said. Ven turned, and instinctively covered his eyes from the light that was me as a ball, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ah, so that’s what you did.” Lux said.

“Yeah. Oh, he’s gonna be unconscious for a few hours, and when he does wake up, he’s not gonna remember anything.”

“So, does this mean you accept my offer for the mechanical body?” Lux asked.

“I guess so.” I said.

“Well, three things about it, One: the machine itself will change once you are in it, probably to form the look of your old body. Second, You have to stay near a power user, otherwise it will become immobile, and third, you will have a nervous system, so you will feel pain. The last one was a ‘be careful’ thing though.”

… Shit.

“Greeeeaaaaat.” I said sarcastically. “One warning. If I catch either of you staring at me for more than a millisecond, you’re gonna lose your chances of ever having kids. GOT IT?” I growled.

“Oh, also, before I inject your soul into it...” Lux spawned a rather badass looking outfit, like a ninja costume, but made from some weird cloth. He then put it onto the robotic body. “Just in case clothes don’t spawn on it.” He cracked his knuckles, “Now then, shall we begin?”

“Sure. Just lemme know when you’re about t-AGH!” I flinched as a sharp pain reverberated through my mind, and didn’t stop.

“Sorry, It’s my first time working with an actual soul, rather than pure energy.” Lux said, a look of worry on his face. “It’s nearly done.” He was making motions with his hands that reminded me sort of of sewing, or stitching.

“By Odin’s beard this is horrifying.” Ven said, just watching what was happening as I withered slightly, and Lux sewed me into the cybernetic body, before being fully absorbed into it. Suddenly, the sounds had stopped, and the gears in my new body started to move. Muscles then burst from the gears, followed by a skin growing out of that, and long, straight black hair came out of my head.

“Wow, Lux, You’ve gotten better with your metal, to be able to create a body.” Ven commented.

“This feels...kinda weird. But at least I’m able to feel something other than pain now.” I said, turning my wrist, feeling the gears in my new body turn.

“That wierd feeling is because you’ve been without a body for so long, as well as the gears inside you.” Lux looked over his work for a few seconds, “Ok, it seems I didn’t forget anything this time.” He said with a sigh of relief.

“Doesn’t feel like you did.” I said, rotating my neck and smiling as I heard the joints pop every now and then. “Ahhh, can’t believe I went 200 years without being able to stretch my body. Plus I had this itch I just couldn’t scratch, it was so annoying.”

Lux held out a mirror, “Is there anything I got wrong?”

“Nah, I look just like I did back then. Actually, I seem more physically fit. Not an ounce of excess fat anywhere.”

“That’s because you run on chaos energy rather than carbohydrates.” Lux said with an air of general happiness over succeeding, “Which is the reason you have to stay near a power user for the body to work. Also, you don’t have the need to eat, drink, excrete waste, or... really anything, you don’t even have to breath with that body, if you don’t want to.”

“Chaos? Cool. Hey, can I break any of the laws of reality or something like that?” I asked.

“Sadly, that would need more excess chaos energy than we can give off, so no.” Lux scratched the back of his head.

“Crap. So, is there a way to make it so that when I go I won’t have to stay near a power user, as you call yourselves? Cause when I do go home, I plan to spend a lot of time at that grave. What date is it here anyway?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t know. Although, what town is the grave in?” Lux said, looking a little sheepish.

“Cork. You know, in Ireland.”

“I see, then we have to touch down at two separate graveyards, I guess.”

“I haven’t seen my family in almost a year.” Lux said, with a look that screamed not to ask.

“I...see. At least tell me the bastard responsible suffered for it.” I said in a cold voice.

“I don’t know if he did, I saw a spike of darkness go through him, but then again, when I was starting out, my dark spear wouldn’t even make a wound in anything. It could only hold things in place.”

“That’s explainable. Let me ask you, how did you feel when that spike went through him? What was going through your mind?” I asked.

“Mostly rage, from seeing him stab my kid brother in the throat with a fucking GAS INJECTION KNIFE!” He shouted the last part, darkness beginning to seep out of his skin.

Wow, this guy has problems too...

“There you go. You wanted him to suffer for what he did. That’s how you make the darkness kill. You have to want the person dead, or it won’t do the job.” I explained. “So, next time you’re in a fight, remember that bastard, and remember how badly you wanted him dead, and focus that desire onto your opponent.”

“Oh, I didn’t want him dead,” Lux said with a sadistic grin. “I wanted him to suffer as his victims did, torn to shreds by hand. Then gut, and the organs removed.”

“Well, that works too.” I said with a shrug. “Who knows, maybe that’s exactly what happened. Or maybe the darkness permanently trapped him in his own personal hell, where exactly what you wanted happens to him over and over for eternity within his mind.”

“I recommend you stop there, before I begin to lose my source of rage.” Lux looked upwards, “Now then, lets get you introduced to the group!” He said walking out the room.

Ven slung Noctis’ unconscious body over his shoulder. “Ugh, this guys heavier than he looks.”

“You know, now that I’m not inhabiting his body, he looks kinda adorable, like I just wanna--”

“I would recommend you stop before his mare-friend hears you.”

“Oh come on, I didn’t mean that. I’m not into him that way. I meant I’d just act as if he was a lost puppy or something. Is that a result of this new body or something?”

“Probably not.” Ven held a watch up to his mouth. “Hey Discord, we have a newbie on board the ship, could you show her around, oh, and bring Jolt with you.”

“FUCK NO KEEP SPARKY AWAY FROM ME!” I shouted.

Ven looked at me like I’d grown a second head. “What?”

“Sorry, residual memories from being in Noctis’ body. Apparently he and Sparky don’t play well together. Oh, and he’s waking up.” I said, pointing to Noctis’ stirring form.

“Uhhhhhh, the fuck just happened? Did I get hit by a train or something?” He asked, opening his eyes and wincing.

“Bout time you woke up.” Ven then him down. “And no, you were just trapped in the shadow zone for a few hours before she got you out.” He said, pointing to me.

“Where am I and what the fuck happened?” He deadpanned. “AND WHAT THE FUCK AM I!?” He yelled suddenly as he failed to get up.

“Oh....crap.” I said.

“Noctis? What’s wrong?” I asked, kneeling down next to him.

“This is bad. I think when I left his body, I may have taken some of his memories away. They should come back in a few days, but for the meantime, he won’t remember anyone.” I said, feeling a strong urge to facepalm.

“Any idea which memories you took?” Ven asked, giving me a look of ‘really?’

“Long story short, judging by his reaction, I took any memories from his arrival in Equis onwards. Possibly earlier ones too.”

“Well then, this sucks.” Ven helped Noctis up “Noctis, listen to me, my name is Ventus, and you have lost a few of your memories.”

“Your name is wind? And what are you on about? What memories? Did I forget the part where Shin-Ra turned me into a FUCKING HORSE!?”

“That was the Lunar orb, not Shinra, you haven’t-”

“FUCK! How do you know about the Orb? Die and I never told anyone. ARE YOU A SPY!?”

Ven held up his watch to his “Die, your brothers gone crazy again. Could you come here and get him?”

“SHUT UP, I’M NOT CRAZY! YOU’RE CRAZY!” Noctis yelled.

“You know that’s the craziest thing you could say, right?” Ven said with a perfect poker face.

“No, the craziest thing I could say is I’m a talking blue horse with wings and I’m proud of it.” He deadpanned, before realizing what he said. “Wait...WINGS!? FUCK!”

“... Anyway, back to my explanation to what’s happening. The Solar and Lunar orbs are not from your world, they come from the world of Equis, roughly.... four months ago, you were brought there by the orbs. You have lost all memories since. Oh, and Akumu is now sealed away in a separate body that i turned to stone..”

“Who’s Akumu? And four months!? What the fuck did I miss!?”

“The last two you didn’t miss much, as you were in a coma. The first two it would be better if Die explains it when she gets here.”

“No thanks, I’d rather keep my sanity thank you very much.” Noctis said. “I don’t know if you know this, but when Die gets really into an explanation, sometimes you get sucked into it as if you were in the training room at Shin-Ra HQ.”

“Oh, also, on a separate note, I’m dating your sister.” I said, and prepared for his reaction.

“Wait, what? My sister’s dating a lunatic? That’s weird, she said she had a crush on...you know what, never mind.” He said.

“Hey, everyone is insane, those who say otherwise are idiots. Plus you also have a girlfriend now.”

“Wait....WHAT!? That’s impossible, I can’t talk to girls to save my life!” He shouted.

“Thats news to me. By the way, what’s the last thing you remember?”

“Being put to sleep so they could begin the SOLDIER Procedures. Why? Wait...I get it. This is a dream!” He said with a small grin.

Ven hit him in the side of the head, “This isn’t a dream, if it was, you wouldn’t be able to feel pain in it.”

“Ow, fuck. Dammit. Not a dream, got it. Wait, that means I actually have a girlfriend? Since when? And who?”

“I’m not sure about the since when part, but to sum it up, with a literal goddess of the night.”

“Wait, a Goddess? As in, Immortal, All-Powerful? How did that happen? And seriously, what would a Goddess see in me?”

“Well, lets just say the Lunar orb gave her her power too, as well as some... similarities in personality.”

“What kind of similarities?” He asked cautiously, one eyebrow raised.

“It would be better if you just met her.” He held up his watch to his mouth again, “Discord, Could you teleport Luna and Die to my location?”

“On it.” I heard a voice say.

“And three... two... one..” Ven counted down.

“Wait, who’s--” Noctis began, and then, in a bright flash, Luna and Die were right in front of us.

I saw Luna about to say something, but Ven held up my hand, and said “Before either of you say anything, he’s lost all his memories from him going under for the SOLDIER procedure onwards.”

“Hi Die, who’s your friend? She’s....cute.” he said, lowering his head and trying to hide his blush.

“Hey, Noctis. So...you seriously lost your memories? That...sucks.” Die said awkwardly.

“Actually she accidentally took them,” Ven said, pointing to me.

“Hey, it’s not my fault I made a small error the first time I ever entered someone else’s body!” I retorted. “Besides, he’ll get them back in a few days. But for the love of all things holy, DO NOT try to jump-start them. You do that, and he’ll lose all his memories. For good.”

“Ok, so don’t try to remind him of anything... Fine by me.” Ven said with a shrug.

“No, not that. I’m assuming that magic exists here too, judging by all the crazy shit I saw in his memories?”

Ven floated up, and stood on the ceiling. “No shit Sherlock.”

… That’s surprisingly impressive.

“Yeah, well what I was referring to is that you can’t try to restart them with magic. I learned enough on the subject. Subtle hints can speed up the recovery slightly, but if you ever use magic to do it, you’ll erase everything, and be left with nothing but an adult with a child’s mind. He’ll have to learn how to do everything all over again.”

“Oh... what about electroshock therapy?” Ven asked with a slight grin.

“FUCK NO! That’s even worse. It’ll make him remember, but it’ll make the memories seem like living nightmares for the rest of his life.”

“Damn... I think I remember a few methods for memory retrieval from our world, such as a certain acupuncture point.”

“Acupuncture, with the needles?” I asked skeptically. “Oh, and I finally decided on a name for myself. At least until I eventually remember my old one.”

“What is it? And acupuncture doesn’t have to use needles.”

“Dana. Short and sweet. And really? Then what can be substituted for needles?”

“Watch.” Ven walked up to Lux, who was just watching, and poked a sleep point on his body with a single finger, and a lot of strength, knocking him out. “It’s not that hard to learn, all you need are steady hands.”

“Um, isn’t he gonna be pissed when he wakes up?” Die asked.

“That’s why I’m going to go hide.” Ven said, before flying away at full speed.

“Oooookaaaaay. That guy is just weird. I don’t know what you see in him Die.” I said with a raised eyebrow.

“You may not, but I do. He’s sweet, kind, caring, and he’s willing to put his life on the line for any of us. And he’s pretty funny too.” Die replied.

Suddenly, Ven’s voice came from out of nowhere. “Thanks, Die, but I’m really not that funny.”

Dafuq?

“Oh come off it Ven. And also, this is the new girl? She looks kinda...mechanical.”

“Technically, she’s a machine with a soul.” Ven said.

“So, bio-mechanical? The merging of man and machine kind of thing?”

“No, just Lux putting a ghost into a robot that then grew flesh to show her original appearance... I didn’t see anything I swear!”

“Ah. And I know. You wouldn’t do something like that. It’s not who you are.” She said.

“Yeah, I know,” Ven ‘said’. “By the way, could we talk... you know... in private?” he asked Die. “It’s about our earlier conversation.”

“Sure. No problem. I’ll leave you guys alone.” She said, running off.

Ven then added one last thing “Oh, and Dana, stay with Lux so your body doesn’t freeze up.”

I rolled my eyes, and picked up the unconscious body, and walked off in a random direction, saying “Follow me, Noctis.”

“Ok. Wait, who are you again?”

“For now I’m calling myself Dana.” I said.

“Cool...” He said, following me until we were out of earshot. “Ok...that prank was awesome. Seriously.”

“Wait, you didn’t actually lose your memories?”

“Yes and no. I lost some memories, but I remembered most of them, you seemed to only take a few random ones...nice acting by the way.”

“Thanks, you weren’t bad yourself.” I hefted Lux’s body onto the other shoulder.

“So, am I really Luna’s boyfriend? That memory’s a little fuzzy.”

“From what I saw in your memories, yes.” I said.

“Wow...Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Yes?” I stopped, and turned to face him.

“Why do we call Jolt Sparky?”

“I dunno, but his reaction is funny.” I said with a small smile.

“Yeah...Sooo, any advice for my relationship with Luna? I don’t wanna mess it up via not having any memories of it.”

“... Nothin in that area, sorry.”

“Crap. Oh well.”

“Don’t worry about it, if I’ve learned anything, it’s that what will happen will happen.”

“Ok. Well, how do you think they’ll take it when they find out this was all a prank?”

I thought for a moment before I responded, “Probably with shock, and maybe a sliiight beating from your sister.”

“Oh...crap. If Die gets her hands on us...”

“I would worry about yourself, I’m mechanical.”

“But you can feel pain, remember. The nerves Lux gave you...”

“... Shit!” I shouted, coming into realization, “Lets try to catch her in a good mood or when something else is keeping her from killing us, agreed?”

“Yeah...well, I should probably try to find Luna and salvage what I can, huh?”

“Go for it. I’ll be at the bridge... If I can find it” I said the last part in a whisper.

“No worries. Oh, and you know Discord and Celestia probably already know about our little prank. My guess is they went along with it for shits and giggles.”

“... Lets hope so, and let’s pray that they don’t tell Die. Bye.” I waved my free hand as I walked off, carrying the winged body of Lux under my arm.
__________________________________________________________________

Ok...so I have a girlfriend who rules the night...I am so gonna blow it...

I kept imagining the various ways I could mess up my meeting with Luna, and each one made me more and more nervous. When I finally came up to her room, I was shaking, sweating, and extremely close to losing my lunch. I couldn’t even bring myself to knock so I just stood there, unable to even breathe. Thank the Gods I didn’t need to anymore...

After a few minutes the door opened, and Luna stepped out, giving me a ‘what are you doing’ kinda look.

“Uhh, I......” I never had a chance to finish, as Luna jumped me, and began to drag me into her room. “The hell? What are you doing?!”

“Apologies Noctis. I’m just...well, I’m glad to see you. And at the same time, I’m angry with you.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m angry at you as well as glad. My sister informed me of yours and Dana’s little, ‘joke’.” She said, shooting me a glare that would strip paint off a car. Suddenly, her expression softened into a loving smile, “However, I suppose I should be happy you only lost a few of your memories.”

“Wait...you knew? The whole time? You knew I was-”

“The eyes don’t lie, Noctis.”

“Crap...well, you know I wasn’t kidding about not remembering ‘us’, right? I mean, it’s just, gone. I can’t remember us getting together. Hell, if I hadn’t been told by several people, I don’t think I could have believed it.”

After all, she’s a Goddess. I’m just some loser who can’t save anyone.

She gave me a seductive smirk, “Well then, only one thing to do about that.” and with that, she picked me up with her magic, and began to carry me towards the bed.

“Hey, lemme go!”

“Don’t worry, it won’t hurt.” Luna said as she put me on the bed, and tackled me. The rest... I’m not going to tell you.
__________________________________________________________________

I was completely shattered after what we’d just done, I couldn’t move an inch out of fatigue. Luna was faring better though, managing to place a hoof on my face and looking me in the eyes.

“That was definitely not how I imagined my first time.” I said between breaths.

Luna was about to respond, but was cut off by the ship shaking, and sirens beginning to blare.

“Crap, what the hell’s going on?” I muttered.

“Sinners on the Deck!” Discord’s voice boomed in our room.

“LET SOMEONE ELSE DEAL WITH THEM! I CAN’T MOVE!” I yelled.

“Uhh...You know what, forget about it. Die already took care of them. They’re just ashes in the wind now... Also, nice form, you two.”

I turned to Luna, who was blushing and snickering at the same time. “Revenge?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Discord said in a tone that argued with the words.

“I was asking Luna whether we should seek revenge for our privacy being invaded.”

“HA! Good luck.” He said, his laughter echoing through the halls, but growing quieter.

“Thanks for the well-wishing, Pervy Sage.”

“Pervy Sage?”

“I dunno. It just popped into my head.”

“... Good night, Noctis.” Luna said, and after a few moments, I heard soft snoring coming from her.

I smiled and kissed her forehead, before laying down myself. “Goodnight Luna. I love you.” I said, before I too entered the realm of sleep.
___________________________________________________________________

I awoke to the sound of a violent sounding explosion.

“The fuck’s going on?! DISCORD! TELL ME YOU DIDN’T TRY A NEW CHOCOLATE MILK RECIPE!”

“No, Discord isn’t even on the ship.” Jolt said from the doorway, his two-handed sword on his back, “That was Ven. He’s apparently fighting some guy on a moon we stopped by.”

“Wait, who’s he fighting? And we stopped by a moon?”

“Himself. And yes.”

“Crap. Well, where’s Die?”

“At the bridge, giving moral support, part of it being something about her being pregnant.”

“Wait...my sister is....pregnant? I’m going to be an uncle?!”

“Eeyup, and as it seems you’re the last to know. Lucky you.” He said with a chuckle.

“Ok. You go. I’ll wake up Luna. Trust me, you don’t wanna be here when she wakes up. As far as I know, someone can be really cranky when woken up after...”

“It’s ok, we all know.” He said, “Discord told us.”

“Can he even keep a secret? I swear, I’m gonna get Pinkie to prank him.”

“One, he can, two, good luck. Bye, good luck with the grumpy gf.” He said, and ran out so quickly it made the sound of thunder cracking, waking Luna up on the spot.

“Luna, two things. One, you’re going to be an aunt, and two, Ven is apparently fighting himself on a nearby moon.”

“... What?” Luna said, giving me a look that pretty much said ‘Dafuq?’

“Yeah, Die is pregnant.”

“... I know that part, I was asking about the other bit.”

“Oh, you mean about Ven fighting himself on the moon we stopped near?”

“Yes, that, what do you mean by ‘fighting himself’?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

“My guess, it’s like when I fought Akumu, it’s like I was fighting myself. So technically, he’s probably fighting some warped and twisted part of himself.”

Her eyes widened, “... We... We should probably go help out.”

“Agreed. Except I still can’t feel my legs...” I said sheepishly.

Luna fluttered her wings, “What do you think these do?” She said with a small smile.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure these are useless too for the moment.” I said, pointing to my very limp wings. “Seriously, where did you get the energy for all that?!”

“Pent up over thousands of years.” She said with a smug smile.

“Ah. I thought you were in heat.” I replied.

She blushed, “The fact that it was mating season... may have been a contributing factor. Also sorry about the biting.”

“Wait...you were in heat...And about the biting, no worries. It was...interesting. Wait, does this mean I might be...”

“... I don’t know...” She said hesitantly.

“Well, if I am gonna be a father, I’ll make damn sure I’m a good husband too!” I replied confidently, though my inability to move made it almost comical.

“Well, you’re off to a great start.” She said, eying my motionless form with amusement.

“Shut up...but seriously, I’m excited and nervous at the idea of being a dad, and I can’t think of a better mare to be a mother than you.”

Luna chuckled“We’re probably going to be such a dysfunctional family.”

“And how do you figure that? Am I really that bad?” I mock-pouted.

“Think about it: a goddess who tried to bathe a land in eternal night, two ex-SOLDIERS, and an assassin from another dimension. Assuming he and Die can stay together when this is all done.”

“Luna, I don’t give a damn what you did in your past. What matters to me is that I love you. I wouldn’t care if you were a flying spaghetti monster or something.”

“WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF THE GIANT FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER?!” I heard Aqua shout from the doorway.

“Wait, it’s an actual thing in your world?”

“In my world, there is a religion based around the damn thing!” He said “Most of them just worship it as a joke though... most of them.”

“Wow. Well, as I was saying, Luna, I love you, and I think our kid is gonna grow up just fine with a mother as wonderful as you.”

“That’s not even the weirdest of them,” He began “There is also the ‘Giant Invisible Clown’ theory, or the ‘Church of the Holy Twig,’ or even--”

“I think they got the point,” Shade said, appearing suddenly behind him, anyway, we came to tell you that Ven’s fight is over, though he’s in pretty rough shape.”

“How rough are we talking? Please tell me I’m not about to lose a brother-in-law.”

“He was gutted, his throat was stabbed twice, his arm exploded, and he’s in a small coma.” Aqua listed on his fingers.

“Shit...where is he?!” I said, leaping up with a sudden burst of adrenaline.

Shade rolled her eyes, “I just examined him in the medical wing, he somehow managed to heal his neck and arm, but his guts... It’s going to take a lot of surgery, even if he is now immortal.”

“Wait WHAT?! VEN’S IMMORTAL?! WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?!”

“Earlier today, apparently him doing Die while she was in heat lead to a portion of the solar orb’s energy going into him.” Shade explained

“Wait....DIE WAS WHAT?!”

“Is it really so shocking, when it’s apparently mating season for immortals?” Aqua said with a chuckle.

“This has gotta be one of those things that could only happen because of the orbs...”

“Eh, whatever, you wanna go see him?” Shade asked, turning away before I could answer, and walking away, saying “Then follow me.”

“Ok. Wait, how the hell am I standing again? Eh, forget it, let’s just go.”

A huge ball of white smoke appeared in front of her, “Damn I love doing this.” She said, and jumped in.

“Cool. So, after you ma’am?” I offered, extending my hoof towards the portal.

Luna chuckled, “How chivalrous, sending the lady into the large ball of smoke that came out of nowhere, and may hold unknown danger.” She said as she stepped in.

“It’s only good manners.” I retorted as I followed her...
___________________________________________________________________

Ven was the only person in the medical wing besides us, although half the space was filled with the tons of machines he was hooked up to.

“It’s weird, according to Discord, even though he is now an immortal, he nearly died, and still could.” Shade said as she started to check the machines.

“Let me ask, was he stabbed with his own sword?”

She turned toward me, a look of surprise on her face, “Yes, how did you know?”

“Because if I’m right, those blades were made to do the same thing ours were. To be able to kill anything. Even immortals are vulnerable.”

“No, only a single knife was made for that purpose, but Lumos deemed it too dangerous to use, and threw it into the darkness.”

“Doesn’t matter. The metal itself is meant for that purpose, even if you don’t intend to go killing immortals anyway.”

“Oh” Was all she said, before just turning slowly, and continuing her checking of the machines.

“So, how long before he’s up and at it again?”

“Well, once we get the replacement organs in, and the pieces of his shattered blade out, he should be fine within a few days.” She said.

“Replacement organs? Fuck, that is gonna hurt like hell.”

She filled up a needle with some sort of green liquid, “Not if I have anything to say about it.”

“Really? You can make it painless? Fuck, wish you were around after all the augmentations they put us through. I mean, forcibly increasing bone density, muscle mass, and so on and so forth, painful as fuck.”

She gave me a bored look, “This stuff I perfected on Lumos. There is enough in this one injection to knock out three dragons. I mostly made it as a way to get back at people.”

“What did they do that required getting back at them?”

“Someone ‘accidentally’ lost all of my ingredients. There were over 2000 kilos. You don’t just lose that much on accident.”

“You must not have heard of Hollander then. I heard that guy lost over 10000 kilos of raw mako once. Seriously, how he made it as a scientist, I have no clue.”

“Well, I know if he ever lost my supplies, he may wake up with a few parts missing to pay for replacements.” She said with a smile that sent chills down my spine.

“Stop it Shade, you’re scaring the poor pony.” Aqua said, “Besides, shouldn’t we get ready for the surgery?” He asked, putting on, gloves, a generic doctor’s apron, and a mask with a long, pointy nose.

She rolled her eyes, “Fine,” she said, as she began to get into another copy of the exact same thing.

“Man, I miss being able to go emotionless sometimes.”

“You’re more fun this way,” Shade said, waving a hand, “Also, could you leave the room? It would be better, and probably more successful if there aren’t spectators.”

“No worries, I’ll go back to bed.” I said, already heading out the door.

“Now,” I heard Shade say, “This should be interesting, I’ve never put organs in to a body before.”

“Yeah, I’m out of here! See you in your room Luna!” I mock-yelled as I dove into a nearby shadow to escape the sight, exiting the zone to get to Luna’s room. “OK, time for sleep.” I muttered, clambering back into the bed and pulling the sheets over myself.
_________________________________________________________________

Once more my sleep was interrupted, but this time, I was being shaken awake.

“Finally awake, are we?” Jolt said, letting go.

“Shut up Sparky. So, why is it you waking me up?

“Not even that can ruin my mood now! We’re at Earth!” He shouted, jumping up.

“YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND TOO!” I mock-shouted, grinning and pointing behind him.

“I’m not stupid enough to fall for that.” He said.

“Then why is Dana behind you and smiling like a love struck fool?” I asked curiously.

He suddenly looked serious, “Wait, what?” He asked as he turned around to see her smiling softly, just watching what was happening. “I was wondering where you went.”

“Congrats you two. So, Dana, what made you change your mind on Sparky? I thought after the memories you saw of my interactions with him you’d avoid him like the plague.

“Lets just say your memories were very misleading.” She said with a sly grin.

“Cool. Something tells me you’re gonna be having lots of fun. Be careful though, she’s completely mechanical in the bedroom.”They both blushed the shade of a good cherry juice.

“And exactly how would you know that, Noctis?” Luna’s voice said behind me, in a sweet tone, with an undertone saying ‘tell me what you know, and I might not destroy you.’

“It was a joke Luna, y’know, since she’s essentially a robot with a soul.”

“Oh... OH, I get it now! But anyway, does she even have the parts for that?”

Dana’s blush went a shade darker, “Well, if you must know, I haven’t checked yet.”

“If I know Lux, he probably created said parts, just to see if he could.”

“... Well, if it isn’t there, I’ll ask him to add it in.” She said with a small smile.

“Looks like one of your many fetishes is about to be realised Sparky.” I joked.

“If you knew what my fetishes were, you would avoid me even more than you do now.” He said with a slight look of evil in his eyes.

“Sparky, nothing I learn about you could make me want to avoid you more than I already do.” I said in a teasing tone.

He grinned, “Like the fact I owned a BDSM club back on earth?”

“BDSM? Seriously? Didn’t take you for that kinda guy. Oh well, to each their own.”

“I actually wasn’t into it, I just owned the place.” He said “The guy who was actually in charge didn’t want to go to prison if the place was found out, so I got a slice of the profit, so long as I owned the deed, and kept quiet.”

“Ah. Well, you gonna go visit that friend of yours Dana? After all, you said it’s been two centuries for you.”

“What do you think?”

“The obvious answer is yes. Your boyfriend gonna go with you? Actually, I already know he is, since you need a power-user nearby to keep your body energised.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” She said, waving a hand, before turning to Jolt “So, we gonna go yet?”

“I wish you luck, Dana.” I said under my breath with a small smile. “So, Luna, what now?”

Before Luna could answer, however, Aqua burst into the room, shouting “HELP ME!!” and diving behind a wardrobe.

“Aqua, what happened?!” I asked worriedly.

“Somebody was stupid enough to give Shade whiskey, and now she’s trying to take my pancreas.”

“Oh, is that all? No worries, I’ll do what I do best.” I said confidently.

“Is that all? IS THAT ALL?! IT’S MY FUCKING PANCREAS!”

“And I already told you I’ll do what I do best.” I repeated.

“Go right ahead, I’ll wait here.” He said, before putting going into the wardrobe he was hiding behind.

“Ok. Though y’know, I was kinda hoping you’d ask what I do best. Oh well.” I shrugged as I got out the bed and walked to the door. “And Aqua, don’t even think about it.”

“... I’m not going to ask.” I heard from the dresser.

I just shook my head and walked outside to see a clearly drunk Shade barreling towards me. “Ok, time to do what I do best, which, according to Die, is ‘something stupid’. Fuck.” And that’s exactly what I did, blasting a weak bolt of magic into Shade. “SHADE STOP BEING DRUNK!”

Unfortunately, this didn’t exactly work, but her coordination got better. Oh, and she pulled out a scalpel.

“Oh fuck me!” I muttered, before bolting past her and running as fast as I could. “FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK! I’M STARTING TO REGRET DOING TH-” I was cut off as I was tackled by Shade.

“You know, I’ve never examined the organs of a pony before, and I’m sure that a sample of the wings would be interesting too.” She said as she began to make marks in my fur with a small marker.

“Yeah, well, lemme ask you something.” I said between pained gasps as I’d somehow landed hard on my... ‘private area’. “You know what my nickname was back in Nibelheim?”

“Not a clue,” She said, making more marks, and not really paying any attention.

“They called me the runner, since I always ran from bad situations before joining SOLDIER. You’re probably wondering what that has to do with this though.”

“No, not really.” She said, before switching to her scalpel, and preparing to make the first cut.

“Well, it doesn’t have anything to do with the conversation, but it did provide a great distraction while my ‘friend’ got ready.” I said smugly.

“Wait, what?” Shade said, looking up suddenly.

“NOW DISCORD!” I shouted, and a bolt of multicolored chaos energy shot down the hall, hitting Shade in the back of the head. She hit the floor with a thud and laid there, breathing, but otherwise unmoving.

“Wait, you were really there? I was just bluffing.” I said.

“Noctis, I’m a god. I’m everywhere and nowhere at the same time.”

“Ok. Oh, and one thing.” and I kicked him square in his nethers. “THAT’S FOR PERVING ON ME AND LUNA!”

“Nice try, but you missed.” He said smugly, before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

I chuckled, making my way back to Luna’s room. “Ok Aqua, it’s safe. Discord knocked Shade out.”

“Really?” Aqua asked, his head poking out of the wardrobe.

“Yes, then I kicked him where I thought his nethers were for spying on me and Luna while we were...y’know...”

“He can move them around on his body... somehow.”

“Good thing that Joy Freezer I hit him with will move on till it finds them, then freeze them for a few hours. Thank you tracker magic! When do you think he’s gonna realise what happened?”

“I already did,” Discord’s voice said behind me.

“Lemme guess, couldn’t get it up for Celestia?” I joked.

“It isn’t in the physical realm at this moment.”

“Wow, you magically castrated yourself?”

“What? No, I can just absorb it and grow new ones at will!” He said in a proud sounding tone.

“Ok. But seriously, why did you watch me and Luna? Do we spy on you and Celestia?”

“No, but Die and Ven did walk in on us, so I’m just passing it on.”

“Wait, they....BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Classic! But seriously, going around publicly announcing the sexual activities of others seems....well, it seems too...weird, even for you. But I digress. How is Celestia? Did you knock her up yet?”

“No, I made sure not to. Besides, hearing Ven screaming in horror sort of ruined the mood.”

“Funny, he doesn’t act like one would after seeing two friends doing it.”

“I heard Die say to him right before to imagine what the children would look like.” He said with a chuckle

“HA! Then why hasn’t he seemed like he’s been doing just that. Did he forget what happened or something?”

“Die wiped his memory of it.”

“Headshot with her fists?”

“Yes and no, it’s a magic technique Celestia taught her, where one charges their attack with magic, and aims for the base of the neck. The magic then wipes the memory from the short term before it can become a long term memory.”

“Nice. Hey, any that could wipe long-term memories? I wanna forget my first day of school.”

“Sorry, haven’t got one like that.” He said with a shrug.

“Oh well, can’t blame a guy for trying. So, do you think you’ll be a good dad someday?”

“Hmm.. I dunno, oh, also.” Suddenly, he was behind me, his leg slamming into my... equipment. “That’s for freezing mine.”

“Ouch. Thank god for balls of steel.” I groaned. “And trust me, I could’ve done a lot worse than freezing them for a couple of hours in retaliation for you making the fact that Luna and I had sex known to the public. Do you want to be sterile?”

“Ha, good one, I don’t even have balls!”

“Then how you gonna knock her up?”

“My testacles are inside my body, not outside, like you people.”

“Thanks for the info. Now I know where to target the next time you do something stupid...”

“No, you really don’t know where to aim.” He said, and disappeared before I could finish.

“I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!” I shouted. “Besides, I was kidding. Like I’d ever actually sterilise the guy who saved my life...Anyway, sleep!”

I put my encounter with Shade out of my head as best I could, which wasn’t very well, considering she had been about to relieve me of my wings. “AGH! I hate alcohol...” I muttered as I crawled back into the bed.

“... I’m going to leave the room now,” Aqua said, backing out of the room quickly.

“Whatever...Luna, unless we’re about to die, please don’t wake me.” I said as I closed my eyes.
_________________________________________________________________

For the first time this week, I got a decent sleep, no rude awakening, no explosions, no deities of chaos watching me and Luna... I’m not going to finish that sentence, but that’s beside the point. The point is that I felt good.

“Ahhh, damn, normal wake up for once.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” I heard someone shout from another room “YOU SAID I WOULD BE FUSING WITH ANOTHER PERSON! NOT SOME... BIRD THING!”

“GODAMMIT CAN’T A GUY GO ONE DAY WITHOUT A DAMN ARGUMENT OUTSIDE HIS AND HIS MAREFRIEND’S ROOM!” I screamed as I leapt out of the bed and slammed the door open.

“HEY, I’M NOT HAPPY WITH THIS EITHER! NOBODY SAID I WOULD BE FUSING WITH SOME SUITED PRICK!” Another voice, which I instantly recognised as Mirum shouted, even louder than the other.

“OH THAT’S IT!” The first voice shouted.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” I yelled, accidentally letting off a shockwave of energy, wrecking Luna’s bed and knocking her out of its remains. A few moments later, two figures, who I recognized as Mirum and Malum, burst in through the wall, with Malum’s knee in Mirum’s... Junk, and a look of rage on his face.

“What the fuck? Malum? WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET HERE?!”

“Few minutes ago, Lux found me.” He said, spitting out a little blood.

“Oh, cool. Mind explaining WHY YOU RUINED MY LIE-IN WITH LUNA?! AND AFTERWARDS, GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON NOT TO FUCKING CASTRATE YOU HERE AND NOW!”

They both pointed at each other, and simultaneously shouted “HE STARTED IT!” They turned towards each other, “NO, YOU DID!” And with that, both of their right hands hit the other in the face.

Suddenly, a large hand of darkness grabbed each of them, “Can I leave you alone five damn minutes without you two getting in a fight? Seriously, what kind of consciences are you?” Lux said as he floated into the hallway through the hole.

“They’re the bratty kind Lux. Kindly get them to fuse with you again so I can go back to sleeping with Luna.” I said irritably. The words pulling a muffled chuckle from Malum.

“They’re not going to fuse with me, they’re fusing with each other.” Lux said.

“Whatever. If you need me, I’ll be sleeping.” I said, going back to my room and slamming the door shut, before repairing the damaged bed, all while trying to ignore the death glare Luna was aiming at me.

Moments later, a loud bang sounded outside the room, and a large flash of light came through the crack under the door, followed by smoke.

“Godammit. Luna, do you think we could move to another room? I’m really getting sick of being involved in all their problems.” I muttered as I walked back over to the door, opening it to see only two figures. One was Lux, the other was an unconscious guy covered in feathers arranged in a pattern similar to a black suit with a white shirt, and a tie.

The guy on the ground got up, and opened his eyes. Seeing that one was solid grey, and the other flashing every color, with a golden iris, I immediately knew what had happened: Lux had forcibly fused Mirum and Malum into one being. Right. Outside. My damn room.

“Ow, our head.” The guy said, clutching his head on both sides.

“So, how do you feel?” Lux asked, looking at him.

“Like I fell two stories onto a sharp spike head-first, and lived to tell the tale.” He muttered.

“GRAAH! Please move the conversation somewhere that won’t wake me the hell up!” I yelled.

Lux reached back, and scratched the back of his head sheepishly, “Sorry, I was short on time to fuse them together, so I had to do it here...” He turned to the Mirum/Malum guy, “Now that I think about it, what are we going to call you, anyway?”

“... How about we figure that out when I’m not in pain, and while there is an angry pegasus ready to kill us.” He said, getting up, and stumbling off, with Lux slowly following him.

“Oh I’m not going to kill you.” I said, glaring at them. “I’m gonna FUCKING NEUTER YOU!”

“FUCK!” He shouted, and jumped through a wall, fading into the metal, and making it appear as though he was never there.

Lux stared at the spot. “... What... the fuck?”

“You know what? Forget this. If anyone needs me, I’ll be sleeping.” I droned, closing the door once again and getting back into bed beside Luna.

She hasn’t said a single word this entire time...I am so dead.

“Luna, I’m sorry. For destroying the bed, for shouting, pretty much for everything and anything I did.”

Surprisingly, she was asleep, her soft snoring barely audible.

“Good idea...sleepy time...” I mumbled, yawning as I succumbed to the call of the sandman.
_________________________________________________________________

The next week was fairly uneventful. I got mostly used to Luna’s sleep patterns, by which I meant I got mine synchronized with it. It helped that we hadn’t done it, instead just choosing to spend our time together sleeping, Also, the Mirum/Malum guy finally picked out a name for himself: Mar. And apparently he has only one power, and it’s more basic than any of the others: he can make himself and whatever he is in direct contact with phase through matter. He found a way to make himself invisible, barely even casting a shadow.

For almost the entire week, Die was in the medical bay, sitting at Ven’s side, just waiting for him to wake up. The one time I did talk to her, it somehow lead to her contemplating ways to guilt Ven into doing something, but wouldn’t say what. I gave up after the first few times asking, knowing she wouldn’t admit what it was until she was ready to do so.

For once, my wake up wasn’t followed by an explosion, or a scream, or some other interruption. The only thing that followed was Luna nuzzling me in her sleep, drooling a little on my chest as she snored quietly. I smiled and just lay there, nuzzling her back, content to have a normal day for once.

Unfortunately, today wasn’t a normal day. Today was the day we separated with the others, dropping them off on their own world. I sighed sadly, nudging Luna awake slowly. “Luna, we have to get up. Lux and the others are leaving today. We have to see them off.”

“Five more minutes.” She mumbled, slurring a little.

“Luna, if you don’t get up right now, I’m going to tell everypony how you sleep with an abacus each day.” I threatened.

“I’M UP!” She shouted, shooting out of bed.

“Thank you. Now, we gotta go see them off.” I said sadly.

“I... I’m not going.” She said, “In a sense, for me it isn’t really goodbye, since an alternate me is on their world.”

“Oh, ok then. Sorry to wake you so.” I said, getting out of the bed and heading for the bridge at a gallop. It only took a few minutes and a few crashes (No, not gonna tell you what or who I hit.) before I arrived. Upon my arrival though, the only ones there were Jolt, Dana, Die and Ven.

“Ok...how late...am I?” I huffed.

Ven looked at his watch, “Exactly... 25 seconds... no, 28...”

“Dammit...Erahaor still has some of my materia!” I grumbled.

“Like the Choco-Mog, oh glorious ex-SOLDIER?” Jolt said with sarcasm.

“He can keep that one, I wanted my Firaga Burst materia back! Did you know Era is a pyromaniac? And he’s got a materia designed to burn things to death!”

“Why else would we get along so well?” He said with a chuckle. “He actually gave me a few tips for working on my own power I wouldn’t have thought up.”

“Doesn’t matter. You realise you let a potential arsonist loose in your world with a tool that could potentially burn everything to the ground, right?”

“And said world has a person that controls water, another that control’s earth, one who controls smoke... they can handle a little arson.” He grinned as he spoke.

“Fine. So, why’d you two stay, Sparky, Dana?” I asked.

Dana smiled, “I have a lot of questions I never got a chance to ask about your world, especially why you keep saying Cloud wasn’t part of SOLDIER.”

“No, Cloud Strife was a regular Shinra troop. Zack Fair, his friend, was a SOLDIER.”

“Ok... So then why does he have the ‘Mako eyes’ that are a key signature of SOLDIER?”

“They performed similar experiments on him after he went missing.”

“And why is it that he was a first class before the Nibelheim incident?”

“He wasn’t. I saw the games. They pretty much confirm most of the history. For one, his memories of being in SOLDIER were actually Zack’s, ones that he’d been told about, mixed in with his old experiences with him.”

“Also, how long after the Nibelheim incident did you leave that world?”

“Not long after Zack’s death.” I replied bitterly. “And I’d appreciate it if we stopped talking about it.”

“Sorry, just wanted to see what you knew before seeing the game.” she said, holding up her hands.

“I’ll say this. The process they mentioned in the game, it doesn’t even cover half of what we go through to become SOLDIERs.”

She was silent for a few moments, before turning to look at Ven “So, how are the new organs working?”

Ven cocked his head, “New...Organs? By the gods, what kind of damage did I have?!” He shouted the last part.

“I’m leaving before the yelling starts!” I said, running out the door before I could hear the screams start, and echo throughout the ship. A few minutes later, I found myself back outside Luna’s room. I pressed my ear to the door, and all I could hear was the soft snores of the sleeping princess. I opened the door and snuck back into the bed as quietly as I could, making the bare minimum of movements to get the covers over me.

“Night Luna...” I mumbled, extending a wing and trying to gently place it over her like a second blanket as sleep took me.