On the outskirts of a Zebrican jungle lay a long, white beach occasionally lapped at by the sea. Along this beach was a smashed rowboat beside an unconscious Unicorn and an Earth Pony enjoying her lunch with a joyously solemn expression.

“I hate this pattern of waking up in horrible pain,” Cloud moaned. He tried to roll over so he could stand, but his body decided against it.

Maud glanced over from her sandwich. “You shouldn’t try to move. You’re in a very bad physical state.”

“Wonderful. Well, doc, what’s the damage?”

“Your body is covered in scars from crossbow wounds that weren’t treated properly, your chest has been torn open and crudely stitched back together twice, and you have numerous bruises across your body.” She paused. “You lost a lot of blood.”

Cloud nodded as she finished. “Well, that would explain why I feel so cold.” He looked down at his chest. Once again, it had been stitched up messily, but it was in very bad condition. Clearly, there hadn’t been much flesh left to stitch up.

The two sat and lay in silence for a while, as the less injured of them ate. When she had finished eating her sandwich, Maud walked to the smashed rowboat and rummaged through their few belongings.

“Where’d you get that food, anyway?” Cloud asked, his voice little more than a croak.

“There were a few supplies in the boat,” she replied. “For emergencies, most likely.” She pulled a shredded piece of cloth out of the boat. “That bag you had was torn in the fight. I used some of it to mop up your blood. This is all that’s left.” She held out the piece for Cloud to see. The surviving cloth had been a piece emblazoned with the strange eye symbol.

“Bag…” Cloud’s mind was slow in his current state, making his memories a battle to recall. “I vaguely remember that symbol from the clothes they were wearing - our kidnappers I mean - but I don’t remember finding a bag.” His vision was spinning ever so slightly, doing nothing to help him focus.

“You made it.” Maud turned back to the boat. “You put some of the papers inside it.” This time she pulled out three sheets of paper. “The logs on magical items. A lot of the ones you took were torn up. Only these three were fine.”

“Those I can remember, for the most part.” Those were when she told me I’m bilingual… “You’re sure they’re not written in Equestrian? I don’t know Saddline, it just doesn’t make any sense.”

Maud nodded. “I’m certain.”

Troubled with this, Cloud gazed into the clear blue sky, deep in thought. I need to think about this. If I can go through what’s happened to me recently, maybe I can figure this out. At the very least, I can come up with a theory...

...Only my head’s so light that if it were any lighter…

Cloud blinked. “What was I thinking about?”

Maud’s brow furrowed ever so slightly.

“...This sand sure is comfy…”

“I’m starting to think I should have tried looking for any nearby towns or cities rather than make this sandwich,” Maud thought aloud.

Cloud was silent.

“Or anyone with medical supplies, really.”

A few more moments passed with no reply. Maud walked over to him and took his head in her hooves.

“Oh no, I think I’m starting to panic,” she said in her normal voice. “This is a very distressing situation.”

After a pause for dramatic effect on the off-chance an audience of some kind was experiencing her actions through some form of media, Maud walked back over to the boat and tore chunks of wood away with a bare hoof. After she had half a dozen chunks, she went to work bashing them into each other.

“I had boat-er hurry,” she told no one. “This isn’t the time for a wooden performance, sand if anypony were watching me I couldn’t let them sea me tree-t this stallion so p-oar-ly. There isn’t any way I can let him die this young-le, oar let him haunt me because he was salty.” Maud smiled. “I like puns.”

Turning back to the dying stallion behind her, Maud brandished her newly fashioned wooden sled (complete with a polished shine).

“I won’t let you die.” She cried, the usual amount of emotion in her voice.

“...Y-You…” Cloud choked, a moment away from passing out again.

Maud took his hoof in hers in the most dramatic manner she was capable of. “What is it. What are you trying to say.” Without inflection in her voice, her questions had become statements.

“...Your… Your stage name… should be ‘Tissue Paper’...” Cloud coughed, his breaths becoming ragged. “...Because your puns are tear-able…” Cloud’s body went limp and his eyes closed.

“Stallion whose name I haven’t committed to memory, nooooooo.”

Now not being forced to make puns, his body relaxed and his breathing became relatively stable.

“Well, anyway.” Maud shoved him onto the sled, finished her sandwich, then pulled him away in a most panicked brisk walk.

Amazingly, when Cloud woke again he wasn’t in horrible pain.

“That's a first,” he muttered to himself. His words came easily, without the slightest hint of a struggle. “...And my voice is better. Nifty.” Feeling pretty good, he glanced around the room for the smallest chance of figuring out where he was.

He was inside a hut of some kind, that much was clear. The walls sloped towards each other, making the room like the upper half of a sphere. The walls were made of some kind of plant fibre, woven together in such a way that Cloud was reminded of a thatchwork roof of a cottage. What the plants were specifically he couldn’t be sure, but they gave off the pleasant smell of a freshly mowed lawn. Light shone through tiny in the makeup of the wall, lighting the room as bright as a day in the sun.

At first glance, the ground seemed to be earth and more random plant fibres, as if the hut was put up in the middle of a forest or jungle. On closer inspection, however, the ground was fashioned from dark brown bricks. They did indeed seem to be made from earth, and a few of them had some plant fibres within, but they had a similar feel to that of the tiles making up Twilight’s kitchen floor.

Now standing from his floor inspection, Cloud turned to see what he had been sleeping in: A hammock fashion from vines and more mystery wall-plant. The ends of the hammock came to the ceiling, attached by a pair of very out-of-place looking bolts.

Definitely not the worst place I’ve woken up in. He took a deep breath through his nose and smiled. Man does this place feel great to breath in! Except I shouldn’t feel great in the slightest with the injuries I have. Cloud looked down at himself, and froze. His chest… was healed. His fur had grown back matted, and there was a lot of very obvious scar tissue, but the wound looked as if it had been healthy for years. He gently pressed a hoof to it. ...As firm as any other part of me.

He tried inspecting the rest of himself - his head, his crossbow scars - to find them in similar condition. The crossbow scars were smoother than before, properly treated and slightly faded, as if - again - years had passed. His head felt completely fine.

It seems a little risky, but it feels like I can do it.

Very carefully, Cloud let his magic flow to his horn. He took his time, being as observant as he could to notice any kind of ache or pain. After charging it to a comfortable point with no problems, he sighed in relief and smiled. With far less care, Cloud cast a water conjuration spell onto the ground, making a small puddle to use as a mirror. Gazing into it, he could see very clearly where his head injury should have been. Only…

“It is healed,” announced a deep, female voice from behind him.

Turning to the voice, Cloud saw a Zebra. Her mane and tail were both cut short, she wore a set of calming green robes, and a small badge of a bone was pinned to her lapel.

“You injuries have been seen to,” she continued, “and your mind soothed-”

“What’s with the stripes?”

“-to a stable point. Your friend is safe, waiting for you in-”

“Are you a Horse or a Pony?”

“-In…” She blinked, trying to keep her cool and mysterious demeanor. “In a-”

“Where’s the stuff Maud had?”

“Holy shit, would you shut up?” She snarled.

There was a short silence.

“My apologies,” she sighed. “Welcome to the village of-”

“How long has it been since I was on that beach?”

“Okay, fuck you.”

After many more interruptions, the Zebra finally managed to say information of value.

“I’M TRYING TO TELL YOU INFORMATION OF VALUE! JUST SHUT UP-!”

However, it was a good hour before the actual information could be said.

“Look, here’s the deal you bone headed piece of-”

“That’s racist.”

She slapped him.

“YOU ARE HEALED, THE VILLAGE’S NAME IS OREGANO, YOUR EMOTIONLESS FRIEND IS SOMEWHERE AROUND-”

“She’s not ‘emotionless’, just not very energetic with-”

She slapped him again before storming out, uttering every curse she knew as she left.

Cloud nodded. “Yep, that was productive.”

His face now once again marked from blunt force, he strolled outside.

Author's Notes:

“What’s a competency-?”