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The Sorta Yet Not so Average Human in Equesria

by Immortan Joe

Chapter 5: Chapter 5: Locked Up and Bailed Out

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The bars to my cell slid shut and I threw my hands up in disgust. “What’s the meaning of this!” I grasped the metal bars and shook them angrily. I poked my face between the gaps and yelled, “I demand a warrant! Where’s my lawyer! I know my rights!” I scowled and pushed myself away from the bars and stepped back.

“You know full well why you’re in here.” The police horny said to me from the other side. “Vandalisation, disruption of the public, and countless numbers of theft.”

I rolled my eyes. “Disruption of the public wasn’t even my fault.” I sulked back against the stone wall and sat onto the cold floor. “And I had to steal to survive, I planned on returning everything anyways.”

“You destroyed my mixing set!” The white horny suddenly appeared beside the police horny. “You jerk I was had everything for this month set up!” She kicked the bars angrily. “And you destroyed my set!” Her horn flashed for a second and my heart lept into my throat.

Shaking my head I planted both hands over my ear. “Okay! Okay!” I shook my head and clenched my eye shut. “Just turn that shit voodoo shit off, fucking horny!” I said my heart thumping faster as obscured images of her flashed before me.

“Ma’am, as funny as agitating the inmates can be, please stop.” The guard made the horny stop and she stepped away. “Sir, until your trial is set up you’ll remain in here til further notice.”

“I still demand a lawyer!” I shook a fist at her but the mare ignored me and walked away alongside the white horny.

I took a breath and sat back in the corner, my legs drawing up to my chest as I took a breath and tried to purge the imagery of the voodoo shit from my mind.

:[-]:

Date: Unknown

Time had past since my sentencing and I have still been unable to figure out how they had triggered the trap to put me here. I can still feel the tingles of the voodoo they had cast on me back in the alleyway and I fear it may be some time before I cleanse my body the waters of the stream near my home.

I can feel it traveling through me, manipulating me in some ways I do not appreciate. I hate it. I fucking hate it! I want to make it stop but they refuse to give me water to cleanse myself. Cause of this I can’t stop thinking about her, yet I don’t even know who she is, yet the thought of her shakes me to my very core.

Wall that isn’t mine, I fear that this maybe my final days. If I cannot cleanse myself and get rid of the very thought of the creature who terrifies for reasons I don’t know, but I think I should know...I think I’ll die.

Wall contained within this jail, I hear someone coming. Please forgive me for my next cause of actions.

:[-]:

I hid in the near right corner to the cell’s entrance, with a pen in hand the stupid horny’s had not thought to strip me down. Meanwhile, I could hear their voices, the clopping of their hooves drawing near. My heart then constricted when I heard the sound of their voodoo coming to life and the opening to my cell swung open.

“Isaac, you in here?” I briefly heard Twilight’s voice which then quickly turned to a scream when I lunged at her from my corner.

“For the Emperorah!” It was the first battle cry that came to my mind, if I was going to die, I better go out sounding like a badass. I my body froze in mid swing of my small stone I used to carve my memo, body tingling and mind going all fuzzy I soon find myself upon the floor, eyes looking upwards.

“In the name of Celestia, Isaac, don’t do that!” Twilight glared down at me.

I blinked and groaned, my body tingling with the voodoo that was used on me. “H-how did I?”

“I pushed you over with my magic,” Twilight said and took a deep breath. “I know you don’t like it when I do that Isaac, but you have me worried.” I sat up and rubbed my head before glaring at Twilight, I pushed myself against the wall with my feet and curled up. “We’re all worried.” Twilight looked at me.

“For once the horny actually cares,” I muttered softly and Twilight scowled and took a few steps toward me.

“Why do you hate me so much, Isaac?” She asked me sternly. “Ever since we found you sobbing in the Everfree, we’ve done nothing but try and help you.” I glared at Twilight my chest beginning to boil. “You talk to Pinkie fine and the others, but Rarity and I...y’know she said she never wanted to see you again?”

“Good!” I snapped at Twilight but she held her ground. “You...you unicorns and your magic have never brought anything good to me.” I sat back.

“Isaac I or Rarity have never done anything to you,” Twilight said softly her face taking a worried look as she sat down. “What happened, Isaac? Tell me the truth, please, I just want to be a friend.”

I gritted my teeth and shook my head, resting my hands over my ears I clenched my eyes shut. “I-I...Just please, I accept your apology, the white girl can take the set just...” I flopped over and curled up. “Just leave me alone for now.”

Twilight nodded and got back onto her hooves. “I paid your bail, Isaac, you’re free to go home whenever you wish.” I rolled over and turned my back to Twilight. “If you ever wish to talk, the girl’s and I are always here to listen.” With that she turned and left me be, the door the cell wide open.

I didn’t leave that night.

:[-]:

“So why did you bring me back here again?” Spike glanced up at me and I smiled widely.

I grinned happily and dragged Spike by his arm into my home. “Okay Dino-kid, I made something new I want you to try.” I gestured out to the inside of my home and grinned madly.

“What’s the difference?” Spike glanced up at me and I frowned and gestured once more to the edge of my home. Spike squinted and blinked. “Is that a bed?” I smacked the dragon on the back and fist pumped the air.

“Yes it is! I built an actual frame with my excellent carpentry skills! I even stole–borrowed some of Fancy horny’s fabric and sewed a mattress for my grass!” I grinned happily and struck a prideful pose.

Spike blinked and frowned. “Her name is Rarity,” he said sternly, I blinked and looked down at him.

“Beg your pardon?”

“Her name is Rarity,” He repeated, a bit of angry present in his tone.

I nodded my head and dismissed him with a hand. “Why yes of course. Now c’mon,” I skipped over some various bits and pieces of my latest project that scattered about the floor. I stopped over my new bed and patted the mattress. “C’mon now, Lad, give it a go!”

Spike sighed and rolled his eyes as he came over to me, taking a breath he hopped on the bed and gazed up at me. “It’s good,” he said and waved a finger at him.

“Shush your face, Little One.” I silenced him and stopped for a moment to listen, slowly I turned and sat on the bed next to him.

“...” I turned to look him.

Spike blinked nervously and scooted away. “So uh...the bed is holding the both of us perfectly.” He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.

I pursed my lips and reached out towards him as curiosity settled in. Spike glanced at me, his eyes widening when my fingers touched his spines on his back. “Uh...what are you doing?”

“You have such magnificent spikes.” The dragon hopped off the bed and shook his head.

“Nope! I’m not repeating this again!” He shook his head and made an X with his tiny dinosaur arms.

“Wait!” I called out to him and he stopped. I chuckled and smiled softly at him. “Is your Horn master––” I coughed into my fist. “––sorry, is Twilight available anytime soon?” I asked some reason feeling rather nervous.

Spike stopped and blinked at me curiously. “Yeah...why?” He asked me.

“I have a few questions I would like to ask her.”

Next Chapter: Chapter 6: Conversation Estimated time remaining: 26 Minutes
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The Sorta Yet Not so Average Human in Equesria

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