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Twilight's 12 Pains of Christmas

by TheDriderPony

Chapter 1: On the Zeroth Day

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"Thanks for helping me decorate for the holidays, girls." Twilight said as she hung a garland over yet another doorway, "With Starlight spending the holidays back at her old village, it would take Spike and I days to get everything ready with how big the castle is."

"It ain't no trouble Twi," Applejack responded , "I've got plenty of time with the last of the harvests in."

"Yes, and ever since Sweetie Belle lost her front tooth, her gap-toothed smile has been making my winter line sell like hotcakes." Rarity added as she attempted to hang all of Twilight's tree ornaments in the most aesthetically pleasing way possibly. "This is the first holiday in years that I've had enough early profit to take a few extra days off."

"An besides," Applejack grinned amicably, "Helping out your friends is what Hearth's Warming's all about."

"And cookies!" Pinkie chimed in, an enormous tray of baked goods balanced on her head. She bounced across the room, somehow managing to avoid dropping even a single gingerbread pony, and set the tray down on the table. "Not to mention cakes, pies, puddings, and especially holiday trifles!"

Twilight chuckled as she slowly descended back to the floor. "Yes Pinkie, and the sweets too. Though I personally never thought much of holiday trifles. Too creamy and not enough substance." She paused as she took in the truly tremendous tray of holiday goodies Pinkie had presented. There were numerous pies and cakes, or course, but also nearly a dozen puddings, a pile of peppermint hay swirls, and a whole gingerbread village, complete with replicas of well known buildings and denizens of Ponyville. "Pinkie, isn't this a bit much? I know you like the holidays, but I don't think we can eat all this."

"Oh, these aren't all for you silly!" Pinkie giggled, "Most of this is for the Hearth's Warming Pixie! Don't want to make her angry you know."

"The what now?" Applejack questioned as she joined the other two by the table.

"The Hearth's Warming Pixie," Pinkie restated, "You know, she's a little magical creature that flies all across Equestria on a magic golden horseshoe, delivering presents to all the good little colts and fillies who leave her treats."

"Well I've never heard of her." Applejack said.

"Nor have I," Rarity added.

"Same," Twilight agreed, "Are you sure this isn't something you just made up?"

"Whaaat?!" Pinkie gasped, "How could you have never heard of the Hearth's Warming Pixie? She's one of the best known embodiments of the holiday spirit. Did none of you leave her treats when you were fillies?" They shook their heads. "Really? My family's been doing it for generations!"

"Now hold on there," Applejack interrupted, "Iff'n you recall, I spent last Hearth's Warming with your family, and I don't remember you saying or doing anything about it then."

"That's because her celebrations don't take place on Hearth's Warming day, you do them during the couple of weeks before!"

"Ah, here it is." Rarity called out. During Pinkie and Applejack's tangent, she had apparently acquired a book from one of the nearby shelves. Its green cover read Holiday Tales for Foals in swirling gold letters. "I found a passage about it in this book that seems to sum it up nicely."

The Hearth's Warming Pixie: it read, The Hearth's Warming Pixie is a small and sprightly creature. Standing on its hind two legs, the Pixie has the hindquarters of a pony, the upper body of a dragon, and a horned head that has qualities of both. Nopony knows for sure where she came from, but she lives far away in the Western mountains, where she spends all year making new toys and presents for good little colts and fillies. Once a year, in the weeks before Hearth's Warming, she will leave her mountain home upon a flying enchanted golden horseshoe. In the dark of the night, the Pixie enters the homes of foals and will leave them presents in exchange for sugary treats.

"Well whad'ya know, it's a real legend." Applejack remarked, "I guess you were right Pinkie, sorry for not believin' you."

"Hold on," Twilight interrupted as her magic leafed through a significantly larger book, "Just because the legend exists doesn't mean the creature it describes does. Ah, here we are. I believe The History of Equestrian Mythos is a better reference than a foal's storybook."

The legend of the Hearth's Warming Pixie dates back to the twelfth century, shortly after the Minos War. The Pixie was originally a Minotaurian myth known as the Khorosho Zima Feya, and was the spirit and symbol of their Midwinter's Eve festival. This aspect of their holidays was introduced into Equestrian holiday lore in order to promote cultural acceptance and ease post-war tensions between species. However, many facets of the original legend were altered during importation in order to make it easier for Equestrians to accept. The pixie's description was changed from being primarily bovine to equine, and its home was changed from the Minos based Mt. Thunder, to the unspecified "Far West". Despite government promotion and its targeted appeal to foals, the legend failed to successfully catch on in Equestria, excluding several primarily Earth pony farming settlements.

"No, she's real!" Pinkie protested, "The Hearth's Warming Pixie always came to visit us every year, and she'd always leave us all sorts of nice presents."

"Sorry Pinkie, but books don't lie. The Hearth's Warming Pixie is an old mares tale, and nothing mo-"

With a speed that surprised everyone, Pinkie shot forward and clamped Twilight's mouth shut mid-word. Her expression had shifted from general concern to what looked like actual fear. Panic hinted in the corners of her eyes. "Don't say that!" she hushed, "If the Pixie finds out that you willfully don't believe in her, then you'll have to face the wrath of... gulp... the Naughty Hearth's Warming Pixie!"

"Mwhe mwhut?" Twilight murmured through her still locked jaw.

"The Naughty Hearth's Warming Pixie:" Rarity read, having picked up the book Twilight had dropped, "Like many Minotaurian legends, the Hearth's Warming Pixie contained an element of duality, specifically a dark counterpart. This being, known as Plokho Zima Feya, was thought to punish and chastise those who either did not keep the spirit of the holidays in their heart, or failed to properly acknowledge some traditional aspect of the holiday. Legends differ as to whether she is supposed to be a sister, companion, or alternate persona of the good Pixie. While the legend as a whole generally failed to be accepted in Equestria, this aspect was often ignored or forgotten intentionally, as most deemed it too frightening for foals and not fitting the proper spirit of the Equestrian holiday season."

"That's right!" Pinkie agreed, nodding vigorously, "And if you make her mad, then she leaves strange and confusing presents in your house until you either renounce whatever you did or go crazy! It happened to my great-uncle Humble Pie. He said he didn't believe in the Hearth's Warming Pixie, and then his house filled up with so many exotic fruits and decorative lawn ornaments that he had to move."

Finally, Twilight's magic managed to overcome Pinkie's vice-grip on her lips. She gasped as her lungs finally received some much needed oxygen. "Pinkie, I know I shouldn't just dismiss my friend's beliefs, especially when it's something related to you, but this is just ridiculous. No mythical spirit is going to drive me to insanity via giving me bad presents. How would that even work? Wouldn't she have been punishing me for not believing in her all the years before this?"

Pinkie shook her head. "She doesn't punish ignorance, just willful disbelief." With that, Pinkie's mane began ringing. She stuck a hoof inside her curls, and after a few moments of rummaging, pulled out a pink Pinkie-Pie-themed alarm clock. "And that's my cue. Sorry to bake and run girls, but I have two other decorating parties to help with today." She stuffed the clock back into her mane and headed towards the door at a brisk pace. She disappeared around a corner, only to pop her head back around a moment later. "And remember to believe Twilight."

"Thank you for your concern Pinkie, but I'm sure I won't need it."

Pinkie sighed as she shook her head slightly. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Next Chapter: On the First Day Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 41 Minutes
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