Fillyhood (Part 1)

Dear Diary,

Hi! My name is Derpy Hooves. I’m a pegasus. That’s kind of surprising, isn’t it? I mean, pegasi don’t usually do “egghead” things like starting a diary. But Mom says it’ll be “good for me”, whatever that means! Anyway, I bet you want to learn more about me! There’s not much to tell.

I just got my Cutie Mark. Mom says that will really help me make friends in school! I’m not in school yet. I was supposed to start last year, but the school Mom wanted me to attend didn’t want me as a student. I should be mad at them, but I get it. That school was really big and scary. A lot of future Wonderbolts graduated from there. I keep telling Mom I’m not going to be a Wonderbolt, but she was really disappointed when I was rejected. Good news, though! They said if I really work on my flying, I might be able to re-apply at some point. That made me real happy, but Mom still seems mad. I made her a cake and she wouldn’t even eat it. I guess my cooking isn’t that good.

Bye for now, Diary! I’ll write in you more after my first day!

Dear Diary,

I love my new school! It’s so small and cozy! The other students don’t seem to like it much, but I think it’s awesome! Although the teachers do yell a lot. Or maybe they just yell at me. I kept dropping my books and knocking over things. I can’t really help it. I tried to explain that to my history teacher, but she just kept yelling and I had to cover my ears. I don’t really like that pony. Her name is Sky Writer and she has a really loud voice. I’m going to try to do my best in her class so she’ll like me!

My other teachers didn’t really notice me, except for Fly High. Fly High is the school’s flight instructor. He’s REALLY OLD. Older than Mom! He has a beard that looks like a big bush. I told him so and he found it really funny. He was really nice to me! He talked me through all of the drills and exercises we’re going to be doing tomorrow and made sure I understood everything. I still can’t land well, but Fly High says he could barely stay on a cloud when he was my age.

I didn’t make any friends today. All the other ponies were complaining about having to go to the worst school in Cloudsdale. That made me sad. I want all of them to love this school as much as I do! I asked Mom about it and she just told me to “make some friends”. So I’m going to do that! I’m going to make one hundred friends and invite them all over for a sleepover!

See you tomorrow, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I know its been a week, but I’ve been busy! Mom went away with one of her coltfriends again so it’s just me. I was kinda sad when I woke up this morning and realized she was gone. But she left me a present! Thirty whole bits! I don’t know what I’m gonna do with all of it. I hope Mom comes back soon. The last time she went away with a coltfriend, I didn’t see her for a whole three days!

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote in you, Diary. I tried really hard at flight class, but I wasn’t very good. There’s one filly in my class whose REALLY FAST! She even beat the instructor! Fly High says I just need to keep working on my landings. I’m trying real hard. Mom doesn’t usually let me fly in the house, but since she’s not here I’ve been practicing since this morning! I think I’m really getting the hang of it.

Sky Writer is still grumpy. I tried making her cookies, but she wouldn’t take them! I had to give them to Fly High. I hope he likes them. They’re my world famous “Derpy’s Fantastic and Amazing Chocolate Peanut Swirl Extravaganza Cookies”!

I still haven’t made a friend. There’s this one scary-looking filly who arrived on my second day. She wears a lot of make-up and her mane is bright red. I’m kind of scared of her. I offered her a cookie and she said she only eats “big mare food”. What’s “ big mare food”? Maybe it’s the stuff that Mom eats. If I get her some of that, she’ll be friends with me for sure! But right now I have to get some food for myself. Mom’s really forgetful. She never checks to see if there’s any food in the house.

I’m going to that diner I like. Mom’s been taking me there since I was a foal. It’s where all the Wonderbolts hang out. The waitress is really nice to me. Her name is Stormy Flare. She asks all kinds of questions about Mom. And when I come there alone, she offers me anything I want off the menu for only five bits, plus a free slice of sunflower pie!

See you soon, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I wrote my last entry on Saturday and now it’s Monday! Mom came back from her “big pony vacation”. She was really mad. She yelled a lot and locked herself in her room. I guess her and her coltfriend got into a fight. I left some leftover pie in front of her bedroom door to cheer her up!

Flight class was canceled today. Fly High had to stay home because of an allergic reaction. I wish I knew he was allergic to nutmeg before I gave him those cookies! I hope he gets better. I made him a Get Well card. I pinned one of my feathers to it so he knows it’s from me.

I tried to talk to that scary pony again. She told me her name this time. Her name is Fleetfoot. But that’s all I could get her to say to me. No other pony has been as nice to me as her! I should get her something special.

Wish me luck, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I’m in trouble. I did something bad. I don’t really know why it’s bad, but Mom yelled even more than usual and I got a time-out from Sky Writer.

I came to school on Tuesday with a surprise for Fleetfoot. You know how I said she only likes “big mare food”? That’s the stuff Mom likes. So I decided to get her some of the stuff Mom keeps in that cabinet in the living room. The label says it’s “apple cider”. I don’t know what that is, but I thought Fleetfoot would like it. I gave it to her and she seemed really excited! But later that day, Sky Writer grabbed me and dragged me off to yell at me! Fleetfoot was in the room as well and she looked really sick. I wanted to ask her if she was alright, but Sky Writer just kept yelling and yelling.

Mom locked me in my room. All I have is my diary and my toys. That’s why I’m writing this. Maybe if I write it down, I’ll understand what I did. Sky Writer says she’s not going to be in school for a while, just like Fly High. What do I do, Diary? I was so close to Fleetfoot being my friend!

I can’t write anymore. I’m going to make another Get Well Soon card for Fly High to cheer myself up. It’s getting late. Maybe Mom will let me out of my room soon.

Thanks for listening, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I couldn’t go to school for a whole week. But when I got back, Fly High was back too! And he got the Get Well Soon cards I sent him! I promised I’d bake him a big batch of cookies tomorrow. But he didn’t like that idea, so I asked what he wants instead. He said he’d love some muffins because he hasn’t had any in a while. I’ve never made muffins before. But I’m going to try, for Fly High!

Fleetfoot is back too. She looks different. Her mane is white now and she doesn’t wear make-up anymore. She won’t talk to me. But she did smile at me during flight class!

My landings still need some work. Since Mom is back, I can’t fly in the house anymore. I hope she goes away soon. She keeps locking me in my room whenever I do something that annoys her. She’s always like this after losing a coltfriend. I wish stallions would stop being so mean to Mom! I bet Fly High would be a really good coltfriend for Mom.

I’ll save a muffin for you, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I made muffins for everypony! They weren’t that good, but Fly High said they’re great for my first attempt! He’s the only pony who said something nice, though.

I was supposed to have some extra practice with Fly High today. But instead of practicing, we just ate muffins. Fly High told me all about his life. He has a daughter whose just like me! She’s all grown up now and she works in Canterlot. She was never good at flying, so she moved to Canterlot after she left school. I’ve never been to Canterlot before. I asked a lot of questions about it. His daughter says Canterlot is really big and filled with all kinds of unicorns. I’d like to live there someday.

Mom got a new coltfriend! He’s big and loud. His name is Peaceful Skies. I didn’t like him at first, but he tells really funny stories. He taught me a bunch of cool tricks this morning before school. He called them “uma-fu”. It’s a special thing he learned when he was in Japone. He said if I ever get into trouble, I can use it! I showed a little of it to Fleetfoot and she asked me to teach her.

Sky Writer got angry at me again. I don’t know why. I was on time for class, I listened really well, and I didn’t knock over my desk. But Sky Writer just kept yelling and yelling at me in front of everypony! She said that I have two days to finish my book report, instead of a week like everyony else. I offered her a muffin, but she wouldn’t take it. I don’t know what to do.

Wish me luck, Diary.

Dear Diary,

The book I’m reading for class is called “The Littlest Pony”. It’s about a little filly whose smaller than any other pony in the world. She’s so small that other ponies can carry her in one hoof. She goes around helping ponies with their problems. Wow! I wish I knew somepony like that.

Maybe I should write a book. But I don’t really have any ideas. I guess I could write a book about my life. That’s kind of what I’m doing right now, but I haven’t written down everything about my life, Diary. Did I ever tell you how I got my Cutie Mark?

Once upon a time, there was a little filly named Derpy Hooves (me). Her favorite thing to do was follow her mother around on her errands. Her mom went to a lot of different places and talked to a lot of different ponies and Derpy would follow her everywhere. Then one day, her mom’s friend got really angry at Derpy. She said Derpy should go home where she belonged. Derpy’s mom and her friend got really loud. Derpy got scared and ran away. She tried to fly, but her wings weren’t strong enough. She crashed headfirst into a window and everything turned black! When she woke up, she was in the hospital. The doctors said she’d been asleep for hours. Her mom was really worried and cried a lot. Derpy was okay, though. Except her eyes looked wrong. The nurse said Derpy had a head injury and she was lucky to be alive. Then she said something that made Derpy really happy! Derpy got her Cutie Mark! It was three bubbles. The nurse had never heard of anypony who’d gotten her Cutie Mark after crashing into a window. Then the doctor told Derpy that bubbles meant “hopes and dreams”, so she must have gotten it while she was asleep and dreaming about the future.

And that’s how I got my Cutie Mark! I had to stay in the hospital for a few weeks, but I didn’t mind. I was just happy I finally got my Cutie Mark! I have a lot of hopes and I have dreams I’d like to see come true. Having this Cutie Mark means all my dreams are going to come true, right?

Well, I have to finish my book report. Write in you soon!

Good night, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I’m writing this from my room. Mom locked me in here as soon as we got home from school. I’m in trouble again.

I gave my report to Sky Writer. I worked really hard on it, so I was sure she’d like it. But Sky Writer was really mad at me. She made me read my report in front of the whole class just so she could make fun of it! That hurt my feelings. But then Fleetfoot started yelling at Sky Writer and saying a whole bunch of words I’m not supposed to know. So Sky Writer said Fleetfoot was expelled. And for some reason, she blamed ME for everything! Sky Writer took me to the headmaster’s office. She said a bunch of things that weren’t true, like how I was always a disruption and how I’d almost started a fight in her class. I wanted to defend myself, but Sky Writer just kept getting louder and louder. The headmaster said he’d have to talk to my mom. He had a pegasus go get my mom and the two of them had a long talk. Mom got madder and madder the more they talked. I was really scared.

Its been hours since Mom locked me in my room. Usually she just makes me stay in here for an hour or two. I keep knocking on the door, but she won’t let me out. I don’t think she’s even in the house anymore. I’m a little scared. What if a monster comes out of my closet? Maybe I can use some of the stuff Peaceful Skies taught me to defeat it and make monster stew. That sounds gross, but I’m really hungry! I didn’t eat breakfast today and I missed lunch because of everything that happened. The only thing I’ve eaten today is a piece of old candy I found stuck to the underside of my nightstand.

Did I tell you about what happened after I got out of the hospital, Diary? Right after I got out, Mom said I was going to be a Wonderbolt. She said she would do anything to make sure I became one. But you wanna know something, Diary? I don’t think I’m gonna be a Wonderbolt. That’s okay. I don’t want to be one anyway. I’d rather be a cool teacher like Fly High or a uma-fu instructor like Peaceful Skies.

I’m tired. I’m gonna take a nap. Maybe after I wake up, Mom will let me out!

Sleep tight, Diary.

Dear Diary,

I don’t think I’m going to be seeing Mom for a long time. I’m sad about that. I know Mom loves me and she must be sad without me around. Maybe one day I’ll come back and we can eat sunflower cake together.

Mom never let me out of my room. I was in there for a whole day and a half. My stomach wouldn’t stop hurting and I couldn’t sleep anymore, so I was awake when the door finally opened. It was Peaceful Skies. He had to break down the door because he couldn’t find the key. He said everything was going to be okay. I don’t know what he meant by that, but he took me to the diner I liked and I finally got to eat! Peaceful Skies said he was taking me back to my house so I could pack my things, then we were going to go away somewhere. I asked him if Mom was coming with us and he said no. He wouldn’t tell me why. I don’t think him and Mom like each other anymore.

I saw Mom one last time before I left. Me and Peaceful Skies were getting into his chariot with my suitcase. I waved to Mom, but I don’t think she saw me. She looked angry. She was talking to a couple of scary-looking ponies in suits. I wanted to call out to her, but Peaceful Skies said we had to go. I’m going to write to Mom once we get to wherever we’re going.

I didn’t get to say goodbye to Fleetfoot or Fly High. But I talked to a mare in a suit who had a nice smile. She told me to write letters to them and she’d pass them on for me. I asked Peaceful Skies where we were going and he said “somewhere far away”. But where’s that, Diary? The moon? Living on the moon sounds kind of fun. Maybe I can make friends with Nightmare Moon! All the books say she’s a bad pony, but that depends on how you look at it. Fly High told me that ponies are only bad if we look at them that way. Sometimes when everypony thinks somepony is bad, they just need a friend. I hope that wherever I’m going, I get to make a lot of friends.

I’m sleepy, so that’s all for now.

Bye-Bye, Diary.

Fillyhood (Part 2)

Dear Diary,

My new house is amazing! It’s big and there’s lots of places to explore! The first thing Peaceful Skies showed me when we got there was my room. He said it “wasn’t much”, but that’s not true at all! It’s way bigger than my old room. There’s a window and a big dresser and even a mirror.

I asked Peaceful Skies where we are. He said we’re in a place called “Manehattan”. There are a lot of ponies around and a lot of big buildings! It’s not like Cloudsdale at all. There are all kinds of ponies everywhere. Unicorns and Earth ponies and even a few pegasi.

Good news, Diary! I already made one friend! Her name is Button Nose. She’s an Earth pony. She’s a friend of Peaceful Skies. She smells like cinnamon. She says she’s going to teach me a whole bunch of cool things. I don’t know what that means yet.

Peaceful Skies asked if he could buy me a new diary, but I said no. He already filled my room with all kinds of books. Most of them have really strange titles. Peaceful Skies says he read a lot of them when he was my age. I can’t wait to read one of them. Mom only let me read history books. Those were really boring. If she saw all these books she’d be mad. Mom always said it’s not healthy for a filly to live in a fantasy world.

I started reading “Hairy Trotter and the Unicorn’s Stone”. Peaceful Skies said that book is for “big ponies”, but I can read it anyway. It’s about an Earth pony with a long mane who finds out he can do magic. Wow! Does that mean maybe I can do magic, too? I’ve never actually tried it. I asked Peaceful Skies and he said I can do anything I want if I just try. One day I’m going to be a world famous wizard like Hairy Trotter. That’s way more fun than being a Wonderbolt, right?

That’s all for today, Diary. I’m really tired.

Dear Diary,

My new school is really small. There can’t be more than ten ponies there.

The teacher’s name is Miss Windfall. She’s a pegasus just like me and she’s much nicer than Sky Writer! I had to introduce myself to the whole class, which made me really nervous. I talked about how I used to live in Cloudsdale. They asked me a lot of questions about it. Most of them had never been there.

I sat next to a pony who had really thick glasses and some metal things on her teeth. I don’t like those metal things. They look sharp and dangerous. I asked her what they were, but she wouldn’t answer me. Maybe she didn’t hear me. She seemed to be really enjoying the lesson, even though it was just some boring math stuff. I wish I liked school as much as she does.

Miss Windfall got another pony to show me around. The school isn’t very big, but there’s a playground in the back and a lunchroom. The pony that showed me around was named Rainflower. She’s an Earth pony. She told me that there are a lot of schools in Manehattan. She said most of the schools are only for important ponies, like ponies who want to become fashionistas. I wonder if I have what it takes to be a fashionista. It can’t be too hard. Rainflower says most of the ponies in Manehattan are fashionistas.

Peaceful Skies and Button Nose are so nice to me! Peaceful Skies says he’ll help me get better at flying. There aren’t any flight schools in Manehattan. Once I’m old enough, I’ll be able to have my own private trainer.

The first Hairy Trotter book is amazing. My favorite character so far is Fumble Fours. He’s so funny and I like his beard. I bet we’d be best friends if he was real. I don’t like Professor Snake Eyes, though. He’s mean to Hairy and his friends all the time. That’s not fair. I hope Snake Eyes becomes friends with all of them. I also hope the next Hairy Trotter book comes out really soon.

Goodnight, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I’m sorry I didn’t write for a whole three weeks. Don’t worry, Diary. I didn’t move again or anything like that. I kind of forgot all about writing because of something that happened. But it wasn’t a bad something! Well, it kind of was.

I asked Rainflower about that unicorn who never speaks. Rainflower told me her name is Vinyl Scratch. She’s a “teacher’s pet”, whatever that means. Rainflower said she was “mute”. That means she doesn’t talk at all.

Anyway, I decided to bake Vinyl a cake. I’d never baked a cake before. Cakes are way harder than muffins. There are a lot more ingredients and you have to wait longer. Plus you have to make frosting so it’ll look pretty. I wanted this cake to be extra-pretty, so I added even more frosting than I was supposed to, plus a whole bunch of sprinkles! Peaceful Skies helped me with the baking part. I’m not allowed to use the stove by myself yet.

The next day, I took the cake to Vinyl. I was sure she would love it. She didn’t want to take it at first. But I followed her around the playground until she finally took it. We ate it together during lunch. Cake isn’t a very good lunch, but Vinyl loved it!

Unfortunately, something really bad happened. I didn’t understand it at first, but Miss Windfall explained it to me. Now that I think about it, Vinyl ate way more of the cake than I did. I only had one or two pieces, It turns out Vinyl isn’t allowed to have sweets. They make her act really weird. She started acting weird during class. She kept twitching and stuff like she wanted to jump out of her seat. Then when the bell rang, she did jump out of her seat. I’ve never seen a pony move that fast! Not even a pegasus! Vinyl started running around the classroom like she was on fire. Everypony started to laugh because it was so funny. And when Miss Windfall started trying to catch her, it was even funnier! But then Vinyl crashed into the teacher’s desk. She hit the desk really hard and we all heard a cracking sound. Then Vinyl fell down and didn’t move. Miss Windfall had to get the school nurse. The last time I saw Vinyl, she was being carried out of the classroom on a stretcher. She was moving a little, but she looked like it hurt a lot.

Miss Windfall said she doesn’t blame me. I hope Vinyl is okay. I haven’t been back to school since then. Miss Windfall said it was alright if I took a little vacation.

Peaceful Skies says I have to go back at the end of this week. He’s been teaching me all kinds of new flying stuff to make up for me missing school. I don’t think I’m ever gonna get the hang out of it, though. I can do the basic stuff, but I’m not very good at anything else. At least I don’t have to learn drills or anything. Fly High always said half the stuff he taught us wasn’t even useful unless you were gonna be a Wonderbolt or something.

I hope Vinyl is there when I go back to school. I still wanna make friends with her.

Thank you for listening, Diary. I needed to write all this down.

Dear Diary,

I’m back at school, but Vinyl isn’t. Miss Windfall says she’s doing fine and she’s going to be back eventually. I sent Vinyl a Get Well Soon card and a letter.

Miss Windfall gave the class a big project. She says a whole bunch of schools in Canterlot are doing it. She wants us to write a letter to Princess Celestia. And the best part is that it can be about anything! At the end of the year, Miss Windfall is going to collect all of our letters and send them to Princess Celestia. I hope she likes my letter. Maybe I should ask her how to become a princess. If I became a princess, I could create a lot of new fun holidays!

I’m going to visit Vinyl at the hospital tomorrow. I want to bring her something special. I remember when I was in the hospital. It was so BORING. I bet Vinyl doesn’t have anything to read. I’m going to let her borrow my Hairy Trotter book.

You’re my best friend, Diary!

Dear Diary,

My hospital visit with Vinyl was today. The hospital in Manehattan is way bigger than the one in Cloudsdale. There must be two hundred ponies in there! There are these things called “wards” and all the nurses look mean. The nurse who took me to Vinyl’s room kept frowning at me like I was in her way.

Vinyl’s mom and dad were already there when I came in. I was alone because Peaceful Skies had to work and Button Nose had to visit somepony in Canterlot. Peaceful Skies drew me a map to the hospital so I wouldn’t get lost. I found it pretty easily because it’s not too far from where I live.

Vinyl was happy to see me. Most of her body and her hooves and her horn were bandaged. She looked kind of like a mummy. It was really hard to figure out what she was saying. I gave her the book and she was surprised. Her mom said Vinyl had never read Hairy Trotter before. She usually just reads books about math and science and magic. Since she couldn’t hold it in her magic, I took the Hairy Trotter book and read the first few chapters for her. She loved it a lot!

Then visiting hours ended. That made me sad, but I promised Vinyl I would come back next week and read her the rest of the book. Vinyl’s mom and dad were happy. They thanked me for coming and said I was a good friend. They even said they would walk me home if I wanted because it’s getting late. I said I didn’t need them to walk me home because it’s not too far away.

I know I should be waiting until I’m at home to be writing this, but I was so excited that Vinyl was okay that I started writing right there in the waiting room! That’s where I am now. It’s a good thing I always keep my diary in my saddlebag.

I’m going to head home now, Diary. It’s starting to get dark. I don’t like the dark. I’ll write in you again when I get home! I promise!

Dear Diary,

I’m kinda in trouble. Again. It’s not bad trouble like it usually is. I did something I shouldn’t have and Peaceful Skies got mad at me. He’s calmer now, but I can tell he’s still a little mad.

I got lost after I left the hospital. I didn’t mean to! But it was getting dark and I was scared. There were so many ponies around. I tried to follow the map Peaceful Skies gave me, but I just couldn’t figure out which way was home. It turned out I wasn’t going in the right direction, because I walked until Celestia’s sun had completely gone down and I still wasn’t home. I was really really scared.

I thought for sure I was going to be lost forever. But then I saw somepony I knew! It was Ms. Windfall. I was so excited that I ran right up to her and begged for her to help me. I started crying and she comforted me. She’s such a nice pony. She said she’d take me back to her apartment and I could stay there for the whole night.

Ms. Windfall’s apartment was nice. There were a lot of things made of glass, which made me nervous. She had a pretty figure of a ballerina pony that she let me hold. I was so scared I was gonna drop it, but Ms. Windfall said it would be okay because I’m just a filly and it wouldn’t be my fault. I think Ms. Windfall is a lot nicer than my mom. I love Mom, but she never let me hold anything made of glass.

Ms. Windfall made me hot chocolate. While I was drinking my hot chocolate, Ms. Windfall told me a whole bunch of stories about when she was a filly. She told me about how her dream was to become a Wonderbolt. When she was about my age, she had a really bad accident. Her wings don’t work like they’re supposed to anymore. She can fly, but she’ll never be a Wonderbolt. She got really sad when she told me the story. But then I told her that I would never be a Wonderbolt either! That made her smile for some reason and we laughed for a long time.

I didn’t sleep much that night. I fell asleep on the couch next to Ms. Windfall, but I kept waking up. I thought I heard my mom calling my name. I guess it was just a dream. I miss Mom. But I’m sure she’s doing fine. Last night, I wished on a star that Mom would find a good coltfriend and be happy forever. Since I wished it on a star, I know it will come true!

I was able to go home the next day. Ms. Windfall found out where I lived and took me there right away. Peaceful Skies was mad. But he didn’t lock me in my room or anything. Even though he yelled, I don’t think he was mad at me. He was just worried because he had no idea where I was. He cares about me a lot. I don’t know why. But I’m happy that he cares so much. I gave him an extra-big hug to make up for worrying him so much. I’ll bake him an extra-special cake on his birthday. I don’t want him to worry about me anymore, so I’ll have to prove I can take care of myself!

I’ll write in you sooner, Diary. I promise!

Dear Diary,

I went to the hospital to see Vinyl again. This time I went with Rainflower and Button Nose.

Vinyl was a lot less bandaged than she was the last time I saw her. She was sitting up in bed and reading a magazine about music. She also wasn’t wearing her glasses anymore. She looks weird without her glasses. I told her that her eyes were pretty and her cheeks got all red. Then I told her all about what’s been happening in school. Not much has been happening, but Vinyl was interested in all of it.

I spent the rest of the visit reading out loud to Vinyl, Rainflower, and Button Nose from the Hairy Trotter book. Having so many ponies watch me made me nervous, but Rainflower said I had a nice voice and Button Nose said I was a great reader. We got all the way to the part where Hairy gets lost in the enchanted forest with his best friend Running Weasel. Then the nurse came in and said visiting hours were over. I think Vinyl’s going to finish the rest of the book by herself. I hope she tells me what she thinks.

Nothing else happened today. Sorry about this short entry. Hopefully I’ll do a longer one next time, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I’ve spent the last two weeks trying to write my letter to Celestia. But nothing’s coming to me! I want my letter to be perfect. What do you think princesses like to talk about, Diary? Hair ribbons? Hot chocolate? I bet Princess Celestia gets all the hot chocolate she wants. If I was a princess, I’d drink hot chocolate with every meal.

Peaceful Skies told me about a school for the culinary arts. That means a school for ponies who want to cook. He said I was too young to go to it now, but when I’m a little older I might be able to go! I’ve gotta get real good at my cooking, though. And the school is all the way in Canterlot, so I wouldn’t see Peaceful Skies or Button Nose for a long time. He said I don’t have to decide now.

I have bad news and good news about Vinyl. The good news is that she gets out of the hospital tomorrow! She’s all healed up and she can walk fine. Button Nose says she’s lucky. The bad news is that she’s moving away! I don’t know where she’s going. Her parents said they want her to go to some fancy school for talented unicorns. I’m glad we became friends, but I’m gonna miss Vinyl.

It’s raining again. Peaceful Skies says the weather is nice here. In the winter it gets really cold. In two months, it’s going to be Hearth’s Warming! I wonder what Peaceful Skies and Button Nose are going to get me. Mom never got me a present for Hearth’s Warming. But every year, she would take me to see the Wonderbolts’ special Hearth’s Warming Eve show! It was the best part of the year. I want to go to the show this year too, but with Peaceful Skies and Button Nose!

Happy (kinda almost) Hearth’s Warming, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I asked Peaceful Skies what I should write to Princess Celestia about. He said I should tell her about my hobbies and what I like to do for fun. But what do I like to do for fun? I like to bake and talk to other ponies, but that’s it! I don’t want Princess Celestia to think I’m boring.

Today after class I asked Ms. Windfall what she does for fun. She likes to knit and bake and play checkers against herself. That last one made me giggle a little. I told her I’d play checkers with her if she wanted. That made her smile bigger than I’ve ever seen her smile before.

Rainflower has a garden and she likes to read books about plants. Maybe I can start a garden. It looks easy to me. You just have to put stuff in the ground and hope it grows. I’m good at hoping and digging!

Button Nose said that when she was my age, she didn’t do anything for fun. She used to help her parents take care of ponies like me. I asked her what she meant. She said her and her parents took care of ponies that didn’t have homes. I was confused when she said that. I mean, I have a home! One day, Mom’s going to show up at and take me back to Cloudsdale. Maybe Button Nose and Peaceful Skies can come too.

I really want to have a hobby like everypony else!

I’m gonna find one real soon, Diary! I just know I will!

Dear Diary,

I started a garden! Rainflower gave me some seeds and Peaceful Skies helped me plant them. I don’t know what the seeds are gonna grow into. Rainflower said it’s a surprise. I hope it’s something pretty!

Rainflower said she already finished her letter to Celestia. I asked if I could see it and she let me. It was really long. It was all about how happy she is that she gets to live in Equestria and what a great job Princess Celestia is doing being in charge of everything. There were a lot of big words. Rainflower gave me a dictionary and a thesaurus to help me with my own letter. I read some of the dictionary and it didn’t help at all. I learned a lot of cool new words, though!

That’s all that’s happened since my last entry, Diary. Its been a really boring week again.

I’ll write in you when something cool happens, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I have a new friend! His name is Claws. That’s a weird name for a pony, right? Well, Claws isn’t a pony! He’s a kitty! I was out watering my garden and he just showed up at the fence! I tried to get close to him, but he ran away. I asked Peaceful Skies about it and he said it was probably a stray.

The next day, I saw Claws again. He was standing by the fence staring at me. This time I didn’t try to get close to him. I held out the sandwich I was eating and Claws walked right up to me and took a bite! He was really dirty. He looked like he hadn’t had a bath in a fortnight. I let him have the rest of my sandwich. Then he left. I noticed he had really sharp claws, so I decided to call him “Claws”.

Claws kept coming back every day for a whole week. Every day Button Nose made me an extra sandwich and I gave it to Claws. I also set out a bowl of milk for him one night and when I came back it was gone. I think me and Claws are gonna be good friends. I’m writing this while I wait in the backyard for him. He’s been visiting me every night too. I leave the gate open and he comes in and just sits with me. I talk to him about stuff. I like to tell him stories about Mom.

Mom’s never had good luck with coltfriends. They’re always so mean to her. One time she had a coltfriend named Static Bolt. He had a colt my age named Wispy Wind. Wispy Wind was really mean to me. He used to throw his toys at me and call me all kinds of names. And every time I said something to Mom, she said I was making it up. One time I got mad at Wispy Wind and threw his toy train at him. Mom and Static Bolt got mad at me. They yelled a lot. At first they yelled at me, then they started yelling at each other and then Static Bolt left with Wispy Wind. Mom said she was sorry and bought me a big cake. I had to eat it by myself, though. Mom went to her room and didn’t come out for a whole two days. I never saw Wispy or Static Bolt again. I’m glad, but I wish I’d apologized to Wispy.

I think I hear Claws! Write in you later, Diary.

Dear Diary,

Button Nose took me shopping for Hearth’s Warming today. She gave me a whole thirty bits and said I could buy anything I wanted! I bought Claws a shiny purple ribbon. I don’t know if he’ll wear it, though. He still won’t let me pet him or anything. I bought Peaceful Skies a pretty picture frame with all kinds of gems and fake shells on it. I saw a camera in his bedroom once. I don’t think he uses it.

I hope Button Nose and Rainflower like their presents. I found the biggest tub of caramel popcorn to give to Button Nose. I wanted to get Rainflower something for gardening, but I decided maybe she would like a book about Cloudsdale.

I used my last five bits to buy Ms. Windfall a tiny silver statue of General Firefly. I learned about General Firefly in school back in Cloudsdale. She was the one who gave the Wonderbolts their name.

Button Nose bought two tins of peppermint candy. She said I could send one to Fly High and one to Mom if I wanted. I’m definitely gonna do that! And I’m gonna write each of them a special message to put inside the tin! Fly High has been sending me loads of letters about life in Cloudsdale. Mom hasn’t sent me any letters, but I’m sure she’ll love the candy.

Button Nose said that we’re all going to the Hearth’s Warming Eve play in Canterlot this year! I’ve never been to it before. I wonder if it’s as exciting as the Wonderbolts show. Peaceful Skies said it’s all about the history of Equestria. History is boring, but hopefully the show will be fun. I invited Rainflower and she promised she’d come.

I don’t think what I planted is going to finish growing before it gets too cold. Rainflower says it’s probably because I’m not an Earth pony. Earth ponies are good at getting things to grow fast.

Bursting with excitement, Diary! I hope I can contain myself!

Dear Diary,

It’s the day after Hearth’s Warming. I’ve been sitting here in my room all day thinking about everything that’s happened this year. Isn’t it crazy that the year is almost over, Diary? It feels like it just started.

The Hearth’s Warming Eve play in Canterlot was amazing! Canterlot is really bright. There were lights and ponies everywhere. There were giant candy canes everywhere and everything smelled like cinnamon. Button Nose gave me ten bits so I could buy a snow globe and a cupcake shaped like a Hearth’s Warming tree from one of the shops.

I thought the play would be boring, but it I liked it. I learned a lot about history and it really made me think. All the different types of ponies used to not like each other. But then they all came together and learned to like each other. Peaceful Skies told me it was because of something ponies call “the magic of friendship”. I didn’t know friendship was magic! Maybe I can do magic after all.

Everypony loved their presents. Even Claws! Claws was really suspicious of the ribbon at first, but after a while he got closer to investigate. I tied the ribbon around his neck and he seemed happy about it. He didn’t hiss or scratch me or anything like I thought he would. He even let me pet him a little before he ran off. I hope Claws doesn’t get cold out there.

One unexpected thing happened during Hearth’s Warming. It was after I gave Peaceful Skies his present. He gave me a hug and said he loved it. Later, while everypony else was drinking hot chocolate, I snuck into his room and took the camera off the shelf. I wanted to take a picture of him and Button Nose so he could put it in the frame. But Peaceful Skies came in before I could leave with the camera and started yelling at me. I started crying and he said he was sorry. After I was calm, Peaceful Skies took the camera from me and explained why he was so distraught. The camera belonged to his brother who died a long time ago. He’s never used it even though he likes photography. I felt bad for Peaceful Skies, so I gave him a hug and said his brother would probably want him to use it. I don’t know why, but Peaceful Skies started to cry after I said that. Then I had to calm him down!

After Peaceful Skies calmed down, he showed me how the camera worked. Then he took a picture of me and put it in the frame! He said he’s going to keep it forever.

I got a lot of great presents for Hearth’s Warming. Peaceful Skies gave me a brand new diary because I’m running out of pages in this one. I don’t want to give you up and start using a new one, Diary, but I’ll probably have to. The new diary is even bigger than this one, so I’ll get to write a lot more. I’m not gonna throw this one away, though.

Button Nose bought me a cookbook filled with all sorts of neat recipes. Some of them seem hard, but I bet I’ll get the hang of them. There’s a muffin recipe I really want to try.

Rainflower got me a special plant that grows all year-round. I put it on a flower pot on my windowsill so it gets to see the seasons pass. I named it “Sprout”.

The best part is that Fly High sent me a present! It’s a big cooking pot with all kinds of pretty flower symbols on it. Fly High said in his letter that he bought it while he was in Canterlot visiting his daughter a year ago. It’s so beautiful! I can’t wait to cook with it!

This year was really fun and weird, Diary. I’m almost sad it’s over. And you know what, Diary? Even though I miss Mom, I can’t really be too sad. Button Nose and Peaceful Skies are nice to me. I have friends who care about me. I have a cat named Claws and a plant and a cookbook and a nice school. Plus the next Hairy Trotter book is coming out next year! I’m almost out of space in this diary, so I want the last thing I write to be meaningful before I start writing in the new one. I’m going to write something Peaceful Skies said to me once, way back when I first came to live with him and Button Nose. He said it to him after I woke up from a really bad nightmare I don’t remember.

You should never be afraid of the dark. Because eventually the sun will rise. And when it rises, you’ll realize that the monsters weren’t monsters at all. Monsters love the darkness because they want to hide who they are. But when the light comes on, they’re not so scary.

Fillyhood (Part 3)

Dear new diary,

Hi! My name is Derpy Hooves. I’m going to be writing in you from now on. I feel sad that I had to stop writing in my old diary. But you’re way bigger, so I should be able to write a whole novel in you!

The year is almost over and I still haven’t written my letter to Princess Celestia! I want to tell Princess Celestia everything that’s happened to me, but would she have time to read it? Ms. Windfall won’t mind, but I really want Princess Celestia to read what I write.

I haven’t seen Claws since Hearth’s Warming. That was a whole three days ago. I hope he’s okay. I keep leaving bowls of food out for him, but they’re always still there the next morning.

I’m sorry this wasn’t a happier entry. Maybe things will get better.

Bye for now, New Diary!

Dear Diary,

Claws came back! I didn’t see him for a whole week. I woke up yesterday morning and found him lying in front of a bowl of food I’d left out for him. I was so happy that I wanted to rush inside and make him the biggest sandwich ever! But when I got closer, I saw he didn’t look too good. His face was all scratched up and the ribbon I gave him was torn.

Me and Peaceful Skies had to take Claws to the pet hospital. The vet said Claws probably got into a fight with another cat. He’s okay, though. Right now Claws is lying on my bed all bandaged up. He’s looking at me. I wonder if he wants to write something. Wouldn’t it be cool if I could read Claws’s mind?

Another short entry. I just wanted to write about what happened to Claws.

See you later, Diary!

Dear Diary,

Winter break is over and it’s the new year! Ms. Windfall had a big smile on her face when she welcomed everypony back to class. She said she missed all of us. I missed her too!

I didn’t finish my letter to Princess Celestia. Luckily, I’m not the only one! A whole bunch of ponies didn’t finish their letters either. Ms. Windfall said that’s okay. She’s happy we were all so excited about the project.

In the meantime, Ms. Windfall gave us a book to read. The book is called “Sunflower Soup for the Soul”. It’s filled with stories and quotes from ponies. I read a little of it while I walked home with Peaceful Skies. There are a lot of big words, but I think I understand what the ponies are saying most of the time. The book is about success and how to overcome common fears and phobias. It was written by somepony named “A.K. Yearling”. I’ve never heard of her.

Claws is almost recovered. I thought he’d run away once he could walk properly, but he seems to like it in my room. Peaceful Skies went out and bought Claws a big bag of cat food and a few toys. Claws’s favorite thing to do is just sit on the windowsill and stare out the window. He just sits there for hours and hours, staring at the sky. I wish I knew why he likes it so much.

Claws says hello, Diary! (But I wish he’d stop batting my books out of my hooves)

Dear Diary,

I don’t know what’s happening, but it’s bad. Everything was going so well. I was really enjoying “Sunflower Soup for the Soul” and everypony seemed happy.

Something happened with Peaceful Skies again. I don’t fully get it, but it made Button Nose mad and there was a lot of yelling. I’ve never heard Button Nose say bad words before. I had to cover Claws’s ears!

I went downstairs to eat breakfast this morning. Claws came with me. He doesn’t usually like leaving my room, but sometimes he hitches a ride on my back. I was going to greet Button Nose and Peaceful Skies like I always do. But when I went into the kitchen, Peaceful Skies was sitting at the table and Button Nose was looking angry. There was a piece of paper on the table, but I didn’t get to read it. Button Nose was yelling at Peaceful Skies about something. I tried to tell them to stop being mad, but they wouldn’t listen to me! Button Nose said something about Mom and Peaceful Skies told her to calm down. I think Peaceful Skies wrote a letter to Mom and it made Button Nose mad. But why would she be mad? Doesn’t Button Nose like Mom?

I could only stand being there for a few minutes. I hastened back to my room and closed the door. I was afraid if I stayed, I’d get yelled at too! I just sat on my bed hugging Claws for the longest time.

Button Nose and Peaceful Skies finally stopped arguing. I don’t know how long it took. Maybe two hours. I went downstairs again to see if they were done. Button Nose was making pancakes and Peaceful Skies was nowhere to be seen. I asked Button Nose where Peaceful Skies was, but she wouldn’t answer. She smiled at me, but it wasn’t a real smile. It was the kind of smile Mom gave me when she found out I probably wasn’t going to be a Wonderbolt.

It’s really late at night. I have school tomorrow, so I should get to bed soon. But how can I sleep? Peaceful Skies still isn’t home. I want to find him and tell him everything is okay. “Sunflower Soup for the Soul” taught me that sometimes that’s all anypony needs. I know Button Nose will be mad at me if I do this, but I can’t help myself. I’m gonna go out and find him. I think I might know where he is. I’m taking Claws with me to protect me from all the monsters.

Wish me all the luck in Equestria, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I found Peaceful Skies! It was a lot of hard work and I got scared a lot, but I found him!

First I had to sneak out of the house without Button Nose seeing me. That part was scary. She was asleep on the couch in the living room with a book on her face. I managed to tiptoe past her. She didn’t wake up, even when Claws started meowing.

Next was the even scarier part. Manehattan at night is terrifying. If it wasn’t for the streetlamps, I would have turned and went back home. But Peaceful Skies is worth it. I remembered how he used to talk about this place he visited with his brother once. I thought maybe he was there, so that’s where I headed. I took a map of the city Button Nose keeps in her nightstand with me. I was a lot better at finding my way than I thought I would be.

The place was a diner kind of like the one in Cloudsdale I used to go to. Except this one was much bigger and it smelled funny. Most of the ponies in there looked kinda mean. Peaceful Skies was sitting with this pony I’d never seen before. She had a long pink mane that nearly came down to her hooves. As soon as I saw him I rushed over and gave him a huge hug. I thought he’d be angry because I was out at night, but instead he hugged me back and said he was glad I was there. He ordered me a slice of pie and let me sit next to him.

After I finished my pie, Peaceful Skies said we were going home. I asked if he was still mad at Button Nose. He said no, but I think he might have been kind of lying.

Before we left the diner, I talked a little with the mare he was with. Her name is Avalon. She wants to become a model. I asked her if maybe I was pretty enough to be a model too. She said anypony can be a model if they’re confident enough. Maybe instead of a baker, I can become a model! I hope I see Avalon again. She seems nice and Peaceful Skies seems to really like her.

It’s past midnight. I should go to bed. I hope Button Nose isn’t too mad.

Goodnight, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I was so sleepy that I could barely pay attention in class today! Eventually Ms. Windfall made me go home early so I could get some sleep. I slept all afternoon and almost missed dinner.

Button Nose was really really really mad at me. She yelled at Peaceful Skies, even though I kept telling her it wasn’t his fault. Peaceful Skies just kept saying he was sorry over and over again and saying he’d never do it again. I don’t know what he did to begin with because nopony will explain it to me.

Button Nose let me help with dinner tonight. I made a big mess, but Button Nose said I’m still a good cook. I wanted Peaceful Skies to help as well, but he didn’t come in the kitchen like he usually does.

Claws is staring out the window again. He’s so absorbed in it that he forgot to bat my diary out of my hooves like he usually does. I still wanna know what he sees out there that’s so fascinating.

To make up for missing some school today, I read a lot of “Sunflower Soup for the Soul”. I think I like that book more than the Hairy Trotter book. All the ponies in the book have one thing in common: They all start out their stories really sad, but in the end they’re usually happy. There’s always a lesson in the end about how you have to always keep going. The ponies in the book are so brave and smart. I wish I was that brave. Then I’d be less scared of the dark and I wouldn’t have nightmares. I think I’m gonna send this book to Fly High once I’m done with it. He’ll probably love it!

I’m heading to bed. I slept a lot today, but somehow I’m still tired.

Goodnight, Diary!

Dear Diary,

Three days ago, Ms. Windfall said we wouldn’t be reading “Sunflower Soup for the Soul” anymore. She said maybe it was too advanced for us. A lot of the other fillies and colts were relieved, but I wasn’t. I’d already started writing my book report. Ms. Windfall assigned us a brand new book about three orphans. The orphans are called Viola, Lost Clause, and Sunlight. I like the new book, but I also like “Sunflower Soup for the Soul”. I’ve been reading it so much that I haven’t written in my diary!

Viola, Lost Clause, and Sunlight have to be the most unlucky foals in the whole world! I guess that makes sense. The book is called “A Succession of Lamentable Experiences”. In the first two chapters, the foals lose their parents in a magical accident and have to live with their evil cousin named Pilaf. Things keep getting worse and worse. I almost don’t wanna finish the book because I feel like there isn’t going to be a happy ending.

Avalon took me to a salon. We got our hooves done together and we talked a lot. Avalon told me about how she used to live in Canterlot before she decided to become a model. She’s having trouble with it because she doesn’t have any experience and she’s a little camera-shy. I told her about how I kinda want to be a baker. She said she’d love to taste my cooking!

Button Nose and Peaceful Skies aren’t talking to each other. They’re not exactly mad, but they won’t look at each other and they don’t really like being in the same room. I’m leaving them alone for now.

Rainflower told me something interesting. She said that if I have a mom, I must have another parent as well. I was surprised. I mean, I know I have to have more than one parent. But I’d never thought of it before. Its just been me and mom for as long as I can remember. I’m going to write Mom and ask her if I have another mom or a dad.

Today was a good day. I’m eager to get to sleep so tomorrow can be even better! See you then, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I finished “Sunflower Soup for the Soul”. The book taught me a bunch of new words I can’t wait to use! One of the new words I learned is “irony”. “Irony” is when something happens that isn’t what anypony expected to happen, but it seems like it’s on purpose. A.K. Yearling said in her book that life is filled with “irony”.

Button Nose and Peaceful Skies don’t seem to be getting any better. They barely even make eye contact. Why can’t grown-ups just talk to each other?

On the bright side, I’ve been spending a lot of time with Avalon. Talking to her makes me feel less scared about what’s going to happen to Button Nose and Peaceful Skies. Avalon likes talking to me, too, even though I’m just a filly. I kind of wish Avalon was my big sister or something.

I told Ms. Windfall I finished “Sunflower Soup for the Soul”. She asked me my opinion and I told her about how much I loved it.

The second Hairy Trotter book is coming out in a month! Peaceful Skies says we can camp out at the bookstore so we can be among the first to get it! I can’t wait! I wanna know what’s gonna happen to Hairy. In the last book, he found out that the evil Lord Moldy Goat was after him. I hope Lord Moldy decides to be Hairy’s friend in the end. He sounds like a bad pony, but I’m sure he secretly has a big heart.

I hope Fly High likes the book, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I’m writing this while I camp-out with Avalon and Peaceful Skies for the next Hairy Trotter book.

You know how little ponies like me sometimes have nightmares, Diary? I didn’t know adult ponies had them too. I’ve always thought adults were too strong and brave to be scared of anything. But yesterday night, I couldn’t sleep so I went downstairs to get a glass of water. I found Peaceful Skies lying on the couch. He was thrashing around and yelling like I do when I’m having a really bad dream. I woke him up and asked what was wrong. I thought he was gonna yell at me to go back to bed, but instead he wrapped me in a hug. He said he had a terrible dream that something happened to me and Button Nose that made us disappear. I promised him that nothing like that could happen.

But what if Button Nose disappears anyway? Its been a long time and she still hasn’t forgiven Peaceful Skies! She seems madder and madder every time she looks at him.

I asked Avalon for advice. She told me that sometimes ponies do things that don’t seem to make sense. But everypony thinks differently, so it usually makes sense to them in some way. She said Button Nose loves me, but she might not love Peaceful Skies as much as she loves me.

I wish I could live with Mom again. Life was so simple when I lived with her. Sure she got mad sometimes, but as long as I was on my best behavior everything was fine. I miss Mom. I don’t understand what’s going on with Peaceful Skies and Button Nose. Avalon says I’ll understand it someday, but why can’t I understand it now?

Thanks for listening to me, Diary.

Dear Diary,

Things have gotten worse. Or maybe better? At least Peaceful Skies and Button Nose aren’t arguing anymore. But that’s because Peaceful Skies left! He decided to move in with Avalon. Now it’s just me and Button Nose. She said I can live with Peaceful Skies and Avalon if I want. I kind of want to, but who would make cookies for Button Nose if I left?

I’ve spent the last week reading the new Hairy Trotter book. It’s just as good as the first one! Reading about Hairy and his friends makes me forget about everything bad that’s happening.

Our class is having a cooking contest. Everypony has to come up with their own recipe and present it to the class to be judged. We have one week. I wonder what I should make. Button Nose says I should make something new and exciting. But what’s “exciting”? Cupcakes? A three-layer cake? Fudge? I’ve never made fudge before. Or maybe I should make muffins! I still haven’t mastered them.

I’m going to get to work on the muffins right now, Diary! Maybe they’ll take my mind off Peaceful Skies and Button Nose and everything else.

Time to get baking, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I presented my muffins to the class today. I was so excited that I begged Ms. Windfall to let me go first. I was sure everypony was going to love them. I put my heart and soul into them!

Unfortunately, maybe I should have put more than that in them. Ms. Windfall tasted one and she got a really weird look on her face. She asked me what I put in them. I didn’t want to, but I decided to tell her my super secret recipe. Well, it’s not super secret. I got the recipe from a cookbook. But I added something extra special: Chilli powder! I thought nopony had ever thought of that before! Turns out they hadn’t. But maybe that’s because chilli powder muffins aren’t that good.

Ms. Windfall gave me a C for effort. Which is weird, because effort starts with an E! Rainflower got a B for her sunflower seed cookies. I tasted one and they were way better than my muffins.

Button Nose has been extra nice to me lately. I think she’s guilty about how Peaceful Skies left. She keeps making me my favorite foods. I’m actually getting sick of them!

Speaking of cooking, Button Nose signed me up for a special camp. It’s a three-week excursion thingy for ponies who want to become cooks. I’m not sure about becoming a cook, but I want to go anyway. Me and a bunch of other ponies are going to tour restaurants in Canterlot, plus a bunch of famous chefs are going to talk to us about their craft. I can’t wait! Maybe I can get an autograph!

I see Peaceful Skies and Avalon every day. Plus they take me out to dinner on the weekends. Peaceful Skies seems a lot happier. Actually, Button Nose seems happier too.

I think everything is finally alright, Diary!

Dear Diary,

Peaceful Skies and Avalon are getting married! The wedding is in about two months. I’m so happy for them! Avalon is such a nice pony and she makes Peaceful Skies happy! I thought Button Nose would be mad when she found out. I think she kinda was, but she was also happy. I bet Avalon is going to look beautiful in her wedding dress! Button Nose says I can wear a fancy dress too if I want.

I once saw an old picture of Mom wearing a really pretty dress with lots of bows and flowers. I asked her about it, but she got mad and wouldn’t tell me. I want to wear a dress just like that for the wedding! I also want to invite Mom and Fly High and Sky Writer. Maybe Fleetfoot and Rainflower can come too. And Ms. Windfall! I’m excited to meet Avalon’s family. I bet her mom is just as beautiful as she is!

I’m happy about the wedding and all, but I have to make a really big decision. The decision is so big that I had to talk it over with Rainflower and Claws. Claws didn’t have a lot to say about it, but his silence gave me a lot to think about. Peaceful Skies said that if I want, I can move in with him and Avalon after they’re married. I really want to. I like both of them! But if I leave Button Nose, she’ll be completely alone! Who should I choose? Are Peaceful Skies and Avalon going to be mad at me if I stay with Button Nose?

“Sunflower Soup for the Soul” had a whole chapter about making decisions. But none of the stories were about choices like this!

I’m starting to realize I’m not a little filly anymore. I mean I guess I still am, but I think I’m a lot wiser than I was when I was in Cloudsdale.

I’m so conflicted, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I’ve had a lot to think about for the past two weeks. I’ve re-read all of my previous entries and I think I understand a bit more.

I kept thinking about Mom. Even though she never had any luck, she kept trying to find a good coltfriend. And when things didn’t work out, she got mad at me and everypony else. I don’t think Mom was ever happy even when she had a good coltfriend. She was always sad and angry at everypony.

That got me thinking. If a pony wants to be happy, do they always know what they need to be happy? I don’t think Button Nose really knows what makes her happy. But I do. What makes her happy is Peaceful Skies and me. She cares about us more than anypony else. But if Peaceful Skies and me leave, she won’t be happy anymore. I want her to be happy. She’s spent most of her life taking care of lost ponies that were sad, right? But maybe she’s the one whose lost and sad.

I’m going to stay with Button Nose. Even if I don’t get to see Peaceful Skies and Avalon again, I think it’s worth it.

I think I made the right decision, Diary. Wish me luck though!

Adolescence (Part 1)

Dear Diary,

Wow! I totally forgot I had a diary! Its been a long time, hasn’t it? I probably wouldn’t have even remembered I had a diary if I hadn’t been going through my old stuff!

I don’t have a lot of time to write. My carriage leaves in about ten minutes. Button Nose keeps yelling at me to finish packing. I would have finished a while ago, but I kept thinking I forgot something. Turns out I was right.

Guess what, Diary? I’m going to cooking school! Well, it’s actually an academy. It’s called Steel Spatula’s School for Aspiring Chefs! I don’t really know what “aspiring” means, but it sure sounds impressive!

I’m nervous. Button Nose says I’ll fit in great, but will I? I don’t think I’ve ever really fit in anywhere. I was no good at flying and I rarely got any really good grades in school.

I’m sad I have to leave Claws behind. Button Nose says she’ll take good care of him, but he looked so sad when I told him I had to go! I’m going to write him every day!

I have to go for now, Diary. I’ll write again after I get there.

Hoping for the best!

Dear Diary,

The academy is HUGE! And there are so many ponies! Some of them don’t even have Cutie Marks. All the instructors look so serious. I smiled at one of them and they just scowled at me.

I share a dorm room with three other ponies. I don’t know any of their names yet. I tried to talk to them, but they ignored me. I’m starting to think this place isn’t too friendly. Now I’m even more scared about messing up!

I’ve started wearing my mane in a ponytail. I saw the style in a magazine and decided to try it out. I don’t know if it looks good or not.

An instructor gave me a tour of the school earlier. There are a bunch of classrooms and a cafeteria that’s as big as my house back in Manehattan. I can’t wait to start classes. It’s going to be tough, but I believe in myself. If only I could master that muffin recipe! Oh well. Once I’m a world-famous chef, nopony will even care that I can’t make muffins.

I wrote a letter to Mom telling her all about the academy. I’ve been sending her a letter almost every day for years. She never replies back of course. Sometimes I just like talking to her about what’s bothering me. I’ve been feeling weird lately. Button Nose says it’s just me “growing up”. But I think it’s something else. Maybe cooking school will help me figure it out.

Sorry for another short entry, but I have to go. It’s late at night and I don’t want to go to bed too late.

See you tomorrow night, Diary!

Dear Diary,

Today was hectic! I had to wake up way earlier than I ever have before. Then me and everypony else had to go down to the cafeteria and make our own breakfast.

I made a bowl of oatmeal with apple slices. That’s Peaceful Skies’s favorite breakfast. The instructor tasted it and said it was okay, but too much cinnamon. I hope I do better next time.

Then we had to wait about an hour before our first class of the day. The instructor’s name was Butterhooves. He said this month we’re going to be learning about how to make pasta dishes. We started off making pasta salad. My first attempt was really bad. Butterhooves yelled at me a lot because I cut the peppers too thin. But he gave me some great advice about how to avoid doing that in the future. I like him!

The other classes are all about the history of certain foods and Gastroenterology and all kinds of exciting stuff. Cooking is a lot more intricate than I thought it was.

I had some time after classes ended, so I decided to visit Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. I just wanted to see what it was like over there. It’s right down the street from the cooking school, so it didn’t take me long. It’s weird over there. All the ponies look uptight. Well, most of them. I saw a stallion who kind of reminded me of myself. He was all clumsy and other ponies were laughing at him. He kept dropping his books. I don’t think he saw me.

One of my roommates actually talked to me! Her name is Bon-Bon and she’s from Ponyville. I’ve never been to Ponyville before. She says it’s a really nice place to visit, but she kind of wishes she didn’t live there. She says it’s boring.

Bedtime, Diary! I’ll write more when something happens!

Dear Diary,

More of the same with classes. I’m getting better at making pasta salad. It turns out Bon-Bon isn’t good at it either, so we both got some extra time to work on it after class. Bon-Bon says my pasta salad is really good. I think so too, but Butterhooves keeps saying there’s no “passion”. I don’t know what that means.

One of the other students who had to stay after class is named Hot Cakes. He kept insisting the reason he wasn’t any good at cooking was because he was destined to be a member of the Royal Guard. He was kind of weird, but nice once I got him to talk about something else.

I visited the gifted unicorn school again. I saw that stallion again. This time he was sitting on the lawn reading. He was wearing glasses this time. He looked smart. I wonder if I would look smarter if I wore glasses. Bon-Bon says glasses are really popular nowadays. I might get myself a pair if I have time.

I should be in bed right now, but I can’t sleep. I’m thinking of sneaking into the kitchens so I can work on my pasta salad. I really want Butterhooves to be impressed. I don’t want to fail my first ever big challenge at this school.

I wrote a letter to Mom again. I also wrote a letter to Fly High. I asked him to ask Mom if she’s proud of me. If she doesn’t want to talk to me, maybe she’ll talk to him.

Goodnight (or maybe not) Diary!

Dear Diary,

I snuck into the kitchens last night and made three pasta salads for Butterhooves to try. He didn’t like any of them, so I still had to stay after class. Which was extra bad for me, because I was sleepy! I barely even touched the breakfast I made for myself. Maybe I shouldn’t have stayed up late.

Hot Cakes talked more about how he wanted to be a Royal Guard. He said Royal Guards are the most important ponies next to the princesses. If it wasn’t for them, all of Equestria would fall into chaos. I think he’s exaggerating. If he’s not, maybe I can become a Royal Guard. Protecting the princesses is starting to look more fun than being a chef. I still love cooking, but this pasta salad thing is getting to me. What am I doing wrong?

Button Nose sent me a care package, even though I’ve only been gone less than a week. It was filled with homemade cookies. There was a Good Luck card signed by Rainflower with Claws’s pawprint on it. I miss all of them so much.

Peaceful Skies sent me a letter asking how I was. I sent one back telling him I’m fine. That was kind of a lie. I’m very stressed right now, but I don’t want anypony to worry.

I went for a walk after classes ended because I wanted to see more of Canterlot. The city is so big! There are so many shops that sell clothes. There’s also about a hundred restaurants.

That’s pretty much all that happened today, Diary. Good night!

Dear Diary,

Still no luck with the pasta salad! It’s only me and Hot Cakes now. Butterhooves says that if we don’t get it by the end of the week, we’ll have to keep going while the rest of the class goes ahead. I don’t want that. I’m sure I can get it if I just work harder. How hard can it be? I swear I’m doing everything right, but Butterhooves keeps saying it’s wrong. I only have one more day!

Hot Cakes showed me a cool replica of a Royal Guard helmet he made. It’s cool-looking. He even let me hold it. I dropped it, but it didn’t break. Hot Cakes said he carries it around with him because he’s afraid somepony might take it.

Everypony at this school seems way more serious about cooking than I am. All of them are constantly in the kitchens or reading cookbooks or studying recipes. I don’t think any of them even go outside! Should I be more like that? Maybe I’m not cut out for this school. But if I’m not a chef, what else can I be?

I feel like that stallion I keep seeing at the unicorns school might be able to answer that. He looks as lost as I do, but also really smart. I don’t think I’ve ever met a pony like that. If only I could talk to him. But I’ve never seen him outside of the school and I don’t want to disturb him.

Fly High sent me a reply faster than normal. He said my mom was extremely proud of me for getting into cooking school. I’m so happy! I wasn’t sure how she would react. It’s kinda weird that she didn’t send me a letter. I guess she doesn’t like letters. But who cares about that? If Mom’s proud of me, I have to do good!

I’m going to ask Butterhooves how I can get better. I’ve been putting it off, but I have to do it sometime! I’m heading over to his office as soon as I finish writing this. Hopefully his advice will help me improve.

I’m going to get help (I hope), Diary!

Dear Diary,

It’s really late at night. I should be asleep, but I need to write this down. Butterhooves said some things to me and I’m not sure how to take them.

He asked me why I came to this school in the first place. I said it was because I wanted to be a chef. He asked me why and I said it was because cooking was something I was good at. Then he asked me how passionate I was. I didn’t know how to answer that. I’d never thought about it before. But before I could say anything, he asked me a whole bunch of other questions about how determined I was.

Am I really cut out to be a chef? I thought I was, but everypony else just seems so dedicated compared to me. While I’m taking walks and reading Hairy Trotter, they’re studying like their lives depend on it. My other two roommates even snap at me for breathing too loud when they’re trying to read their textbooks. I’m doing good in almost all of my classes, but I’m doing so badly with the actual cooking part. Am I missing something?

Butterhooves said that if I don’t show at least a little improvement tomorrow, he’ll consider having me sent home. He doesn’t think I’m cut out to be a chef. But I am! I think. I don’t know anymore. I came here because I thought this was what I wanted to do. But if this is really my destiny, why am I so bad at it?

I’m so lost. I want to write everypony I know about this, but their replies probably won’t arrive in time. I’m on my own. Is this where it all ends? Am I going to get sent home? Who do I turn to for help now?

I don’t know what Butterhooves wants from me anymore. I guess I’m not going to be a chef. That makes me sad, but I’m sure my new destiny will be even better.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better, Diary.

Dear Diary,

I’m not sure what happened today. I suppose I should be happy, but I’m just baffled.

I woke up earlier than anypony else and just laid in bed for the longest time. I thought about Button Nose and Peaceful Skies and everypony else I cared about. I thought about how disappointed they were going to be.

And then I remembered something from when I was really young. I don’t know how young I was. I just remember I was sitting on a stool to reach the counter. Mom was chopping vegetables and singing a song I don’t remember the lyrics to. Sometimes she would pause and pat me on the head. Mom was always a good cook when she wanted to be.

When I finally got out of bed, I was a little happier, but I didn’t have an appetite. So I just set in the cafeteria reading a book about Gastroenterology while everypony else ate.

This time, Butterhooves asked me and Hot Cakes to stay behind after class. We each had to prepare the pasta salad while he supervised. I was so nervous! I was afraid I was going to mess up and he would yell at me. But he just watched me. Even when I dropped an olive, he didn’t say anything.

Butterhooves tasted Hot Cakes’s first. He said it was “acceptable”, which was enough for Hot Cakes to pass. I’m happy for him. He looked even more nervous than me. Later, he told me he was disappointed that Butterhooves didn’t say his dish was awful. Then he could have gone home.

I told Butterhooves that I worked extremely hard on it, but I didn’t expect it to matter. I just made it the same way I always did.

But for some reason, Butterhooves liked it! He said it was great and that I finally understood what being a chef was all about. I don’t know what he means. I didn’t do anything differently! I’m starting to think Butterhooves is kind of strange. But the important thing is that I passed! And so did Hot Cakes! Bon-Bon is happy for the two of us.

Bon-Bon planned a little party for me and Hot Cakes. We snuck into the kitchens after everypony was asleep and made a cake. It didn’t come out too well because we did it in a hurry, but we ate it anyway so it wouldn’t go to waste. It was so fun! I’ve never made a cake with friends before.

All in all, today was strange. But I think I’m going to take my studying more seriously. I don’t want anypony to think I’m not actually trying my best. And now I feel like I have a chance!

Wish me all the luck in Equestria, Diary!

Dear Diary,

This week we’re learning about different types of pasta. I’ve been studying extra hard so I can answer all the questions Butterhooves asks. So far I’ve gotten five out of twenty answers right.

Bon-Bon took me to a cafe today. She said the best way to learn about food is to eat it. I haven’t eaten outside of school since I got here, so I decided it would be fun. But guess who I saw? It was that stallion from the unicorns school again! Except I realized he isn’t a unicorn. He’s a regular old Earth pony.

I couldn’t help watching him while I ate. He kept dropping his biscuit into his tea.

I bumped into him on my way out. He turned all red and tried to apologize. I kept saying it was my fault, so we just ended up trotting all over each others’ words. That made us both start laughing. He told me his name is Time Turner. Everyone calls him “Doc” because he’s so smart.

I let Bon-Bon leave without me. Me and Time Turner found a table and started talking again. He said he got into the school with a scholarship. Apparently he’s exceedingly smart when it comes to magic and science, even though he’s an Earth pony. I like him. He’s nothing like most of the other ponies I’ve met in my life.

I think me and Time Turner are going to be good friends. He spent most of the conversation explaining things to me that I didn’t get. I might be in cooking school, but I still get stumped sometimes when I’m reading about gastronomy. Time Turner gave me the definition of a lot of words I was struggling with. He’s better than a dictionary!

Night night, Diary!

Dear Diary,

Nothing much happened in class today. Same old stuff. I think I’m getting better at a lot of things when it comes to my cooking. Is that Time Turner’s influence?

Speaking of Time Turner, I saw him again today. I walked past the unicorn school and he rushed up to greet me. We talked for about ten minutes, then he had to get back to class. He promised to help me memorize pasta names. For some reason I just can’t remember them all.

Hot Cakes dragged me and Bon-Bon to an exhibit at the local museum about the history of the Royal Guards. Sounds boring, right? It kind of was, but there were some cool things. Bon-Bon took a picture of me next to a suit of armor two times the size of a normal pony. I guess ponies used to be bulkier in the past. I should probably know more about this stuff because I’m a pegasus. That makes me a natural-born warrior! Well, not an actual warrior. I’ve never fought anypony.

I’ve started thinking about what I’m going to do after school. I’m going to open up my own bakery! But where? Ponyville? Manehattan? Canterlot? No, I don’t think I’ll open one here. Canterlot already has way too many places to eat.

I feel a little jealous whenever I see all the ponies dressed in fancy clothes. I don’t think I’ve ever worn anything fancy in my life. Pegasi don’t really care about fashion, unless they happen to be a Wonderbolt. Bon-Bon has worn a lot of fancy stuff. I hope I can too.

Goodnight, Diary.

Dear Diary,

I’m saving up the money Button Nose is sending me. It’s not much, but eventually I might be able to buy something special! You see, today I saw the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen in my whole life. It was bright blue with ruffled sleeves and a trim of the most beautiful gemstones I’ve ever seen. Bon-Bon laughed and said it was ugly, but I thought it was gorgeous. But it costs so many bits!

It’s Mom’s birthday soon. Every year I send her a hoof-made card and a box of her favorite chocolates or a cake. She never replies of course, but I know she loves everything I send her. This year I want to send her something different. Maybe a pasta dish? Yeah, she’ll love that! Then she’ll get to see just how amazing I’ve gotten at cooking.

It’s weird. I haven’t seen Mom in years and I’ve barely heard from her. In fact, most of the stuff I know about her comes from Fly High. It almost feels like she doesn’t exist anymore. But that’s rude of me, isn’t it? Of course Mom exists. Even if she doesn’t contact or visit me, she’s real. I know she reads my letters and eats any food I send to her. She just doesn’t know what to say, so she doesn’t write back or visit. Mom’s not complicated like Peaceful Skies said to me once. I understand her perfectly.

You know what’s also weird? Every time I brought up visiting Mom, Button Nose said no. The same goes for Peaceful Skies. Everypony seemed to be trying to keep me away from her. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t write. Maybe everypony keeps telling her not to. But why? Why won’t they let Mom write?

No, I’m just being silly! Mom’s too busy to write to me. That’s all there is to it. I shouldn’t get all worked up over nothing. Mom would be mad if she knew I was so upset over something so dumb.

Goodnight and sweet dreams, Diary.

Dear Diary,

Time Turner and me have started eating together every day. We meet at the same cafe during our free time, sometimes for dinner and sometimes for lunch. I kept telling Time Turner I would pay, but once I let it slip that I was saving for a dress he wouldn’t allow it.

Time Turner has been a huge help to me. Thanks to him, I’ve memorized all the different types of pasta and can recite them anytime I want. He has all these amazing study tricks I’d have never thought of. I’m so glad I met him. He feels more like a professor than a friend sometimes. But we still laugh and joke about things like normal friends.

It’s strange how I seem to have two different types of friends. I listen to Time Turner talk for hours about all kinds of things I barely understand. I’ve never been any good with science, but he’s fine with me just listening. But me, Bon-Bon, and Hot Cakes have completely different conversations. We usually don’t talk about cooking. We talk about our lives and our dreams and things like that. Hot Cakes loves to show off how great he is at combat. He’s actually pretty terrible, but I’m not going to say that to his face. Bon-Bon always manages to win when he challenges her to a fight because he’s so clumsy. Where did Bon-Bon learn to fight?

We’ve finished learning about the names of different pasta. Butterhooves wants us all to choose a random pasta dish we’ve never prepared before and memorize the instructions. Then we’re supposed to prepare the dish at the end of the week without looking at the recipe! I don’t know if I can do it. I’m still not good at memorizing stuff. Even with Doc’s help, I might fail. But Butterhooves says it’ll teach us an important lesson about being chefs.

Wish me luck (again), Diary!

Dear Diary,

I know where I’m going to wear my dress if I manage to buy it! I can’t believe I forgot about the Grand Galloping Gala! Bon-Bon has an extra ticket. Hopefully I’ll be able to save up and buy the dress in time. The gala is about two months away and I haven’t saved up half as many bits as I need.

Mom’s birthday came and went. I sent her a big bowl of that pasta dish I learned to cook. Luckily Bon-Bon advised me to wrap it up before I put it in the box. Hopefully it makes it there in one piece. Its been a day and no letter or anything from Mom. I hope she’s having a good birthday.

I want to write more about Button Nose and Peaceful Skies, but neither of them have sent me anything interesting. I feel like I’m moving further and further away from them. Is this what it’s like to get older? Kinda scary.

I’m close to memorizing the recipe I need, but it’s so hard. I’m pretty sure I won’t fail, but I feel like I’m definitely going to make a mistake. I wish I didn’t pick something so complicated! But I promised Butterhooves I would do it, so there’s no turning back. The dish I’m making is called puttanesca. Bon-Bon keeps saying it’s not that hard, but that’s easy for her to say!

I’m thinking more and more about my life after school these days. I know I said I wanted to open my own bakery, but maybe that’s not in the cards for me. I don’t know. I like cooking school and all, but I’m so uncertain right now. Do I even want to be a chef or a baker? Maybe that’s not my destiny. I wish my Cutie Mark was a little clearer. Everypony else seems to know what they want to be based solely on their Cutie Mark. Why am I struggling?

I hope whatever comes next is good, Diary.

Dear Diary,

I passed the test, but just barely! I was so nervous I thought I was going to faint. Butterhooves called me last, so everypony else was staring at me. I tripped at least five times and kept dropping everything. It was so embarrassing! The worst part is that I accidentally cooked the pasta for one minute longer than I should have. I think Butterhooves noticed, but the dish itself was fine. He said he was impressed with my memorization skills. If only he knew how bad I still am at memorizing stuff!

Time Turner bought me a coffee and a doughnut to celebrate. I don’t really like coffee. I only drank it make Time Turner happy. The doughnut was good, though. Time Turner let me talk instead of hogging the conversation like he usually does. I don’t mind him talking non-stop, but it was nice to have him just listen for once.

Bon-Bon and Hot Cakes passed as well. Bon-Bon did everything perfectly. I asked her how she managed to do it so easily. She said she has a “photographic memory”. Useful!

I’m too exhausted to write anymore. Today was more stressful than I could handle. Cooking school is intense!

I’m tired but happy, Diary!

Dear Diary,

I know its been nearly a month since I wrote last, but that’s because things have been intense. Every time I think the workload is going to slow down, it speeds up. I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in a while. I think I’m even clumsier than usual. Butterhooves keeps piling on the assignments. The actual cooking stuff isn’t to bad. Once I get in the recipe zone I feel much more confident. It’s the studying and memorization stuff that’s getting to me. Right now we’re learning about different types of cheese and all the different ways to utilize cheese in cooking. It’s fascinating, but stressful at the same time.

I’ve barely been able to see Time Turner. His workload’s just as big as mine. He’s writing a bunch of essays about complicated subjects I can’t even begin to understand. Plus he has a bunch of side projects. He’s working on some weird machine. He won’t let me see it, but he says it will change the world we live in forever.

I’m exhausted again, but I have a good feeling.

Dear Diary,

I got something in the mail I didn’t expect. It was a letter from Mom! Well, it was more of a note. I almost forgot what Mom’s hoofwriting looked like. Anyway, the letter said she loved the birthday gift I sent her. She said I was the world’s best daughter. Wow! I can’t remember the last time Mom complimented me so much. She even apologized for not writing more often. I’m so happy!

There’s one bad part though. At the end of the letter, Mom asked for a favor. Normally I’d be happy to do anything she asks me, but this one’s a little tough. She said she needs a hundred bits to pay off her bar tab. She said to send it as soon as possible. I definitely don’t want Mom to be unhappy, but what about my dress? I almost have enough saved up. I guess I could send Mom the bits and buy something cheaper though. It’s such a hard decision! It doesn’t help that the gala is getting close.

I asked Bon-Bon, Hot Cakes, and Time Turner for help. Time Turner said I should definitely buy the dress. He also told me I shouldn’t even consider sending Mom the bits. I don’t think he understands Mom like I do. She wouldn’t ask me to send bits if it wasn’t important, right? Time Turner just doesn’t get it. Bon-Bon and Hot Cakes are the same way.

Since my friends didn’t seem to understand, I decided to ask Butterhooves. I thought he’d tell me the same thing. Instead he said he understood what I was going through. Butterhooves said it’s up to me, but I have to think really hard about what I want. The problem is that I’ve been doing that for a while. Not just about Mom, but about my whole life. Do I really want to be a chef? Do I really want to go to the gala with Bon-Bon? Do I really want to send Mom the bits?

I still have a good feeling, but it’s not as strong anymore.

Dear Diary,

I sent Mom the bits. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, but I did it. I kind of regret it though. Mostly every time I hear somepony talking about the gala. Bon-Bon said she’ll give the extra ticket to Hot Cakes since I decided not to go. I know I can afford a cheaper dress, but I don’t think I want one. Why did I want to go to the gala anyway? It’s not like I’ll know anypony there.

I went to Butterhooves about the whole “Do I want to be a chef?” thing. He said it’s ultimately up to me, but he totally understands if I don’t want to be a chef. Apparently a lot of ponies come here thinking they want to be a chef, but then they end up changing their minds. So I’m not alone at all! I still don’t really know what I want to do, but at least I know I’m not alone.

I’m kind of sad I’m not going to the gala, but I feel much better than I did before.

Dear Diary,

I went to a pawn shop today. We had a day off to study for an exam that’s coming soon after the gala. I know that’s irresponsible, but I think I’ll be fine anyway. I’m going to get right back to studying right after I finish this entry. Hot Cakes says I have my muzzle in a book so much these days that I could probably take my exam right now and get a perfect score. I’m also spending a lot of time in the kitchens perfecting my cooking.

Bon-Bon dragged me to the pawn shop because she wanted to find some vintage jewelry to go with her dress for the gala. Did I mention that’s only a week away? Bon-Bon won’t stop talking about it. In fact, nopony will stop talking about it, even if they didn’t get tickets. I’m happy everypony seems so optimistic thanks to the gala.

I found an old tape recorder at the pawn shop. I was surprised it still works because it looked like it hadn’t been used in years. There was already a blank tape in it and everything. I wasn’t going to buy it, but Bon-Bon said it might be good for memorizing recipes. So I spent the last of my bits on it.

The tape recorder has really helped so far in all kinds of ways. I spent most of the day reading recipes aloud with it on and then playing them back. Listening to my own voice repeating them makes it easier for me to memorize them. Plus sometimes I get random ideas for alterations and recipes of my own, so I just blurt them out while recording. So far I’ve come up with two brand new recipes all on my own.

I’ve been in cooking school for a while, but I still miss Peaceful Skies and Button Nose. Every night I think about how Peaceful Skies used to read me a bedtime story. I know I’m too old for that stuff, but it’s a nice memory. I kind of miss his voice. I hope Avalon is doing well. Peaceful Skies always says she is in his letters, but I’d like to hear it from her.

There’s going to be a week-long break after the exams. A lot of students are going to go home over the break. Bon-Bon asked if I’d like to stay in Ponyville with her over the break. I said yes immediately. I wonder what Ponyville is like. It’s probably a lot less busy than Manehattan or Canterlot. I’m glad. I’m kind of getting tired of busy places. It’ll be nice to be somewhere where nothing really happens.

I’d better get back to studying.

Dear Diary,

My friends did something amazing for me and I’m not sure what to think. On the one hoof, I should be thankful. This was a big gesture I never would have expected from them. But on the other hoof, it was a lot of bits.

Remember I said I didn’t have enough bits to get a dress for the gala? Well, my friends decided to pool their bits and buy me one! It was mostly Bon-Bon, but Hot Cakes pitched in as well. The dress isn’t exactly like the one I saw before. It’s a much lighter shade of blue and it has a longer trail and a lot more gemstones. But I think it’s even prettier than the one I was going to buy.

I’m flattered that they would do this for me, but I also feel kinda bad. It was my decision to give all of my bits to Mom instead of buying a dress. They had nothing to do with it, so why should they feel the need to throw away their own bits? Luckily, Bon-Bon already bought her own dress and Hot Cakes bought his suit, so that makes it a little better. I’m so torn! I said “thank you” when they gave it to me though. I don’t want them to feel like I’m ungrateful. It’d be even worse if I decided not to go to the gala, which is what I planned.

Truthfully, I kind of wanted to spend the night of the gala hanging out with Time Turner at the local doughnut place. We had it all planned out. Since Time Turner doesn’t want to go the gala, it sounded perfect. How am I going to break the news to him? I’m sure he’ll understand, but I don’t want to leave him all alone.

I’m so conflicted. Maybe things will become clearer on the night of the gala. Then I’ll be sure if I want to go or not, right?

I hope so.

Dear Diary,

Well, the night didn’t go the way I expected at all. It went a hundred times better!

I decided to go to the gala. I decided that since my friends went to the trouble of buying me a dress, the least I could do was wear it to the gala. I was sad about leaving Time Turner alone, but I knew we could hang out any night. The gala’s only once a year.

Bon-Bon got the three of us a carriage and everything. I felt so fancy. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a real pony-drawn carriage before. It was like something out of a fairytale. Hot Cakes said he doesn’t like the gala too much, but I could tell he was as excited as I was. He’s never been either.

There were so many ponies! Most of them looked much fancier than me and my friends. I smiled at a lot of them and some of them smiled back. I kept thinking I saw ponies I recognized. Maybe I did. I never wrote Fly High and asked if he was going to the gala. I never wrote Mom about it either, now that I think about it. Maybe she was at the gala and saw me in my pretty dress, but didn’t have time to talk to me. She hasn’t sent me anything since she asked for the bits.

I was so nervous. I stuck close to Bon-Bon because she’s more used to these things. But I think she was as nervous as me, if not more! Every time somepony spoke to her, she started talking faster than normal. I had to calm her down more than once.

Hot Cakes kept pestering any Royal Guards he could find. He wandered off over and over again, but he always found his way back to me and Bon-Bon. I think he enjoyed hanging out with me and Bon-Bon more than talking to the guards.

I saw Princess Celestia once or twice. She was always greeting or talking to somepony. I was afraid to get close. I mean, what am I supposed to say to a princess? I asked Bon-Bon that very question. She just stammered and stuttered like the very thought was enough to freak her out. I had to get her a glass of punch and pat her head to get her to calm down.

It was starting to get late when I realized something horrible. I hadn’t told Time Turner I wouldn’t be coming to the doughnut place! I meant to, but we hadn’t seen each other for a while so I didn’t have the chance. I decided to leave without a second thought. I ended up knocking a few ponies over as I galloped to the exit. I had to stop short and apologize. Everypony in the room was staring at me. So embarrassing!

But Bon-Bon came to my rescue. She’s such a good friend! Everypony was looking at me, then suddenly they turned their attention to her. I think she accidentally knocked out somepony. She said they came up behind her and tapped her side, so she instinctively retaliated because she was surprised. She got swarmed by Royal Guards and I think Princess Celestia might have intervened. I don’t really know. I thanked her later, even though she said it wasn’t on purpose.

I got to the doughnut shop late, but Time Turner was still there. He had a whole plate of doughnuts and a book. He was on his third cup of hot chocolate. He’d ordered a cup for me as well, with extra sprinkles and two big marshmallows just how I like it! It was cold by the time I got there, but I drank it anyway. Fortunately, Time Turner accepted my apology and my explanation. He said I’m not the type to lie.

You know what? I don’t really care about the gala. Bon-Bon and Hot Cakes might like it, but it’s not my thing. I had more fun talking to Time Turner than I did with all those fancy ponies. We talked for hours. It was way past midnight when we finally left. The doughnut place was supposed to close before then, but the stallion behind the counter kept it open. He even gave me and Time Turner a free doughnut and cup of hot chocolate each.

I still have no idea if I’m on the right path with this chef thing. Whenever me and Time Turner talk, I feel like it was the right choice. I mean, if he knows what he’s doing, shouldn’t I know too? But then I think about everypony I left in Cloudsdale and suddenly I feel like I should just go back there and become a Wonderbolt. Everypony in Canterlot seems to know exactly what they want and where they’re going.

Maybe I’ll find the answer in Ponyville.

Adolescence (Part 2)

Dear Diary,

Ponyville is smaller than I pictured it. Everything moves so much slower than in Manehattan or Canterlot or Cloudsdale. Ponies actually have a chance to pause and learn about each other.

After I finish this entry, I’m going to write letters to Peaceful Skies and everypony else. I promised Time Turner I’d write him at least once a week. I wish he could have come with me and Bon-Bon, but he said he’d rather stay at school over the break and work on his secret project.

There’s one bad thing about Ponyville. It’s so peaceful here that I can’t sleep! I’m used to all the noise and bustle of places like Canterlot and Cloudsdale. Or maybe I’m just too excited to sleep? I don’t know. Hopefully writing letters will help.

I should get started on my letters. I hope I don’t wake up Bon-Bon.

Dear Diary,

I met the most amazing mare ever! Well, okay, she’s not the MOST amazing mare ever. Bon-Bon says I probably have a crush on her because I won’t stop talking about her. I’ve never had a crush before so I don’t know. All I know is that she’s amazing!

Her name is Cup Cake. I met her earlier today when Bon-Bon took me to a place called Sugarcube Corner for breakfast. I didn’t know bakeries could look like sculptures. Just looking at Sugarcube Corner made me as hungry as a horse. It smells nice inside. It made me feel like I’d walked into a giant cake!

Cup Cake smells nice too. She smells like flour, sugar, and perfume. In fact, I think she wears the same perfume Mom does. The scent reminds me so much of Cloudsdale. I know it’s silly, but I miss Mom’s perfume more than anything else.

Bon-Bon called Cup Cake “Mrs. Cake” so I guess I have to as well. She had a big smile on her face when she saw the two of us. She gave us a discount because Bon-Bon goes there so much to discuss new candy recipes with Mrs. Cake. They were the best cupcakes I ever tasted. And Mrs. Cake was so nice! She asked me about how I liked cooking school and how I liked Ponyville. When I told her about how I’m not good at making muffins, she offered to tutor me while I’m here.

Mr. Cake is nice as well. When me and Bon-Bon came in, he was handing out free samples. He let us take as many as we wanted.

Even though we were only there for twenty minutes, I feel like it was the best time of my life! I can’t wait to see Mrs. Cake again. Maybe I DO have a crush on her. But that would be weird, right? I mean, she’s married! Yet I can’t stop thinking about her. Maybe it’s just because she reminds me of Mom a little.

Well, it’s time for me to help Bon-Bon with dinner. I’ll write more tomorrow if I have time.\

Dear Diary,

I spent most of the day with Mrs. Cake and it was invigorating! She showed me three different muffin recipes and let me choose the one I wanted to make. I wanted to impress her, so I chose the one that looked the most complicated. I’d never even heard of poppy seed muffins before. Unfortunately, I didn’t do so well. All I really learned was that I’m good at spilling poppy seeds on the floor!

Other than my disastrous attempts, the day went well. Mrs. Cake let me hang around the kitchen while she worked. Even though she was busy with her baking, she was still able to talk to me. She told me all about her fillyhood and how she met Mr. Cake.

I told her a lot about myself as well. I mentioned Mom and what life was like for me in Cloudsdale. Mrs. Cake asked me a lot of questions about what it’s like to be a pegasus. The weird thing is that I couldn’t really answer any of them! I’ve spent so much time on the ground that I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to fly everywhere. I fly from time to time, but nothing like how I used to. That’s good though. I’m still not a very good flyer. I told Mrs. Cake so and she said that was fine. She said ponies can’t always do what they think they’re supposed to be able to, but that doesn’t make them failures.

It took me a while, but I think I get it. Mom wanted me to become a Wonderbolt and I don’t think that’s ever going to happen. But that doesn’t make me a failure! Even if I can never fly well, there are other things I’m good at. I’m good at cooking for one thing. It might not be what my Cutie Mark represents, but I’m good at it!

Nopony has replied to my letters yet. I wonder if everypony is busy. I know Time Turner is. He always seems to be working harder than any other pony I know.

Today was amazing. I hope the rest of my stay in Ponyville is just as great!

Dear Diary,

Some bad news and some good news. Good news first! I’m starting to get the hang of making muffins. She said all I need is a little bit more practice. Isn’t that great? Once I’ve mastered muffins, I’m going to bake a whole bunch of them and hand them out when I go back to school!

Some additional good news: I got a letter from the school saying the break was extended to two weeks for some reason. I don’t get it, but it’s great to have some extra time off.

Now the bad news: I’m sick. It’s not anything serious! But I feel lethargic and I’ve used up about two boxes of tissues already. Mrs. Cake said it’ll probably go away in a little while. I hope so. I haven’t finished exploring Ponyville!

I can’t remember if I’ve ever been sick like this before. All I’ve been doing since yesterday is writing letters and reading. Bon-Bon told me to take it easy, but how can I? I’m so bored! I feel like I’ve read all of my books a thousand times each!

Mrs. Cake was here this morning. She’d made me a bowl of hot soup. She sat and talked with me while I ate. Something about her being in the room made me feel like I wasn’t even sick. Before she left, she told me she’d be back tomorrow. I’m looking forward to that. I hope she brings more soup.

Time Turner sent me something that I hope will help take my mind off being sick. I haven’t read the latest Hairy Trotter book, so Time Turner sent me a copy he bought for me. He said in his letter that he actually likes the Hairy Trotter series, but the time travel in it is unrealistic. I’m not sure about that. Then again, what do I know about time travel? I’m not a unicorn.

His letter made me wonder about something. If I could time travel, would I? More importantly, where would I go? I guess I’d go back in time to before I left Cloudsdale. I think. I don’t know anymore. I keep saying I’d like to go back there and be with Mom like nothing ever happened, but I’m kind of unsure about it now. I’ve accomplished and discovered so much since I left Cloudsdale. Would I really trade that in to become a weather pony or something? Would I trade all of that in to be with Mom? Maybe Time Turner is right. Time travel is complicated.

I feel more unsure than usual every time I think about Mrs. Cake. She’s so nice to me. Bon-Bon and all my other friends are nice as well, but Mrs. Cake is different. When I see Mrs. Cake, I imagine myself as a scared little filly crawling into bed with her because I had a nightmare. Maybe she would hold me close and tell me everything was fine and let me stay with her until I felt better. I bet Mrs. Cake wouldn’t smell like apple cider and wine like Mom does.

I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m sick and it’s late. I’m sure I’ll make more sense tomorrow.

Dear Diary,

Mrs. Cake is acting strange. I only just now noticed when she brought me a bowl of soup. She’s not being mean or anything like that. I’m sure she’s not getting sick like I am. It’s the way she looks at me. She smiles like she always does, but there’s something really sad behind that smile. Did something bad happen? Did Mr. Cake say something that upset her? I asked Bon-Bon and she said Mrs. Cake seems normal to her. Is it just the fever?

My head hurts and I feel like I’m burning up. I’m having trouble remembering some things. The diary is helping a little. I can’t remember what day it is. But at least Time Turner sent me a box! I haven’t opened it yet. I’ll do it tomorrow when my head clears a little.

Dear Diary,

Instead of a letter, Time Turner sent me a cassette tape! He said that since I have a fever, this will probably be a lot easier for me. He was right! In the tape, he mostly talked about his studies and how much he missed having lunch with me. I don’t think Time Turner has any other friends. Good thing he has me! When Bon-Bon gets back from the store, I’ll ask her to write him a letter of thanks for me. Mrs. Cake keeps telling me to take it easy. I’m not even supposed to be writing in this diary.

I think I hear Bon-Bon right now. Better stop writing!

Dear Diary,

I think somepony is in the house. I don’t think it’s Bon-Bon or Mrs. Cake or anypony else I know. If it was, they would have said something.

I’m alone in the house. Bon-Bon came back from the store earlier, but then she had to leave again because she forgot something. I’m supposed to be resting, but I woke up when I heard a noise downstairs. Right now I can hear somepony moving stuff around in the kitchen. What should I do? I’ve never faced a burglar before. What if they’re dangerous? What if it’s a manticore or something? Ponyville is right by the Everfree Forest, isn’t it?

I want to call out, but what if that makes whoever it is mad? Maybe they don’t know I’m in the house. Could I escape out the window and get somepony? My head is swimming. I can’t think straight. Everything is fire and throbbing.

It’s a manticore, isn’t it? It’s waiting for me to come downstairs. It knows I’m here. It’s playing with me. Need weapon. Celestia save me. Have to go. Bon-Bon. So hot. Where’s Bon-Bon? Gone. They’re all gone. Weapon. Celestia help me.

Going downstairs.

Dear Diary,

My head’s finally clear enough for me to write again. Wow, that was scary! I can’t wait to write Time Turner and everypony else about what happened. They’re not going to believe it.

I don’t remember too much of what happened up to a point. I think I went downstairs with my diary in my mouth? I guess I was going to use it as a weapon or something. The next thing I remember was charging into the kitchen and seeing a small shape in the corner of the room. Then I passed out.

When I came to, there was a colt I’d never seen before standing over me. He had a bucket of cold water in his mouth and he looked really concerned. I can’t blame him! I was all sweaty and I guess I looked kinda crazy. The colt was really nice to me though. He brought me a wet cloth and some medicine for my fever. He even dragged me into the living room and onto the couch so I could rest. I think I fell asleep after that, because suddenly there was a bowl of soup on the coffee table in front of me and I felt a lot better.

I asked the colt who he was and why he was in the house. He didn’t tell me his name, but he said he had nowhere to go and thought this place was abandoned.

I probably should have called the Royal Guards. I’m always hearing stories about them finding lost fillies and colts and returning them to their homes. But this colt said he didn’t have a home, so I didn’t know what to do. I just sipped my soup and listened to him. He’s a good storyteller.

He said he used to live with his parents in the city of Manehattan. But then one day, his parents both died in an accident. He had no idea what to do after that. Some ponies were going to take him away, but he ran away instead. He traveled for a long time and finally ended up in Ponyville. He’s basically been hiding and eating whatever he can find for the past few weeks. He said he wants to go to Canterlot and get so rich it won’t even matter that he’s alone.

I told him Canterlot is a great place. I told him about all the ponies I met and the cool stuff I got to see. He was really impressed.

After we talked for a while, he said he’d better get going. He said I was probably going to get somepony to take him away or something, so he had best get on the road. I promised I wasn’t, but he didn’t believe me! He insisted he had to go and that he’d remember me. I didn’t want him to leave empty-hoofed, so I gave him the last few bits I had saved up. It wasn’t much, but he thanked me and said he’d definitely never forget me.

So now I’m in bed writing this. Bon-Bon still hasn’t come back. I can’t wait to tell her about everything that happened.

The whole thing made me think about what would have happened if Peaceful Skies didn’t take me in. Would I have ended up like that colt? I hope that colt is okay. I hope he uses the bits I gave him to build a better life. I’m sure he will. He tried to act tough, but he looked so lost and alone. I wish I could have helped him more. Maybe I would have thought of a better solution if my head was clearer.

It’s late. I’d better get to bed.

Dear Diary,

Bon-Bon was late getting home last night. I don’t think she came in until it was almost morning. I was asleep for most of the day, so I don’t know for sure. She said she met somepony she knew and they ended up talking for hours.

Bon-Bon was interested in what I said about the colt, but I think she believes it was just a hallucination or a dream or something. The colt cleaned up after himself so there’s no trace he was ever here. Oh well. Even if Bon-Bon doesn’t believe me, I’m glad I met that colt. He gave me a lot to think about.

Maybe I should have followed that colt. He was more alone in the world than I’ve ever been after all. We could have traveled Equestria together. I could have sent letters to Bon-Bon and the others during my travels. But I would have missed cooking school and Canterlot and seeing my friends’ faces. Would I really be able to give that up? But that colt was so nice to me and he seemed so alone. If I had gone with him, would things have been better or worse for me? Was it something Mom would have done?

My fever’s almost gone now. I’m sad that I had to spend so much time in bed during what was supposed to be a fun trip. At least Mrs. Cake says she’ll bake me a whole batch of muffins once I’m fully better. And I’m not confined to my bed at all anymore. I’m writing this while looking out the window. It’s a beautiful sunny day today.

I know I’ve slept a lot today, but I think I’ll take a nap until lunchtime. Mrs. Cake is bringing me some sandwiches.

I hope I have good dreams.

Dear Diary,

I found out why Mrs. Cake is acting so weird. It’s because of something I said. But I don’t even remember saying it! It must have been back when my fever was at its worst. I feel so embarrassed. I don’t know what to say or do. I feel like I should apologize, but should I? I didn’t do anything wrong, yet I feel like I did! I don’t even know why I feel that way. It’s all so confusing. I wish I’d never gotten sick.

Bon-Bon said it’s no big deal. She said it was just the fever and Mrs. Cake was probably just surprised. But I can’t help but make a big deal about it.

According to Mrs. Cake, she came in to bring me my soup one night. I was half-asleep and mumbling to myself so she sat the soup on the nightstand. She touched my forehead to see how my fever was doing. And that’s when it happened. I wish I’d never asked and she’d never told me.

I called Mrs. Cake “Mommy”! And that’s not the worst part. When she touched my forehead, I reached out and grabbed her and said something like “I’m sorry, Mommy!”.

I’m completely mortified! I’ve never called anypony Mommy before, not even my mom! I called her Mom or Mother or stuff like that, but I don’t think I ever called her Mommy. Why would I call Mrs. Cake Mommy? I know it was the fever and everything, but I can’t let it go. I feel like I did something really bad. But I can’t apologize because that wouldn’t make sense!

I want to write a letter to somepony asking what I should do, but that would make it worse. I definitely can’t write a letter to Mom and ask. Maybe Time Turner? He’s smart so he’ll know exactly what to do! I’ll write him a letter as soon as I can. Right now I have to figure out how I can face Mrs. Cake again. I have a feeling our relationship is going to be completely awkward from now on. I don’t want it to be!

I’m so flustered right now. I don’t know how to fix any of this and it’s starting to get to me.

Dear Diary,

I went to Sugarcube Corner today. I thought I was going to have my regular baking lesson with Mrs. Cake, but Mr. Cake said she was making a delivery. He offered to do the lesson instead and I said yes. To tell the truth, I’m kind of happy Mrs. Cake wasn’t there today. Imagine how awkward it would have been!

I learned a lot about Mr. Cake today. His teaching methods are a lot different from Mrs. Cake’s. He mostly just read off the recipe and let me do whatever I wanted. He didn’t say anything, even when I did something obviously wrong. He talked a lot though. He talked about how much he loves Ponyville and how he used to dream of being a Royal Guard when he was a colt. When my first batch of muffins was done, Mr. Cake walked me through the steps again and asked me a lot of questions about what I might have done wrong. He’s a good teacher, but there was a lot more talking than actual cooking.

I might be getting better at making muffins. The fourth batch I made was actually somewhat edible. That’s a big improvement from the last time! Mr. Cake said I did a good job. He said that tomorrow Mrs. Cake should be able to teach me again.

Should I come back tomorrow? I know I have to face Mrs. Cake eventually, but I still have no idea what I’m going to say. Time Turner hasn’t written me back. That’s kind of odd. Usually he writes back super quick.

My vacation time is running out. In a few days I’ll have to go back to Canterlot. I feel like I’ve barely explored Ponyville. Even though I don’t want to talk to Mrs. Cake, I hope I at least get to see her before I leave. I haven’t known her that long, but she’s one of the best ponies I’ve ever met.

Bon-Bon’s calling me to help with dinner. I’d better get going.

Dear Diary,

Time Turner sent me a weird letter. In fact, it wasn’t really a letter. It was just one sentence. This isn’t like Time Turner at all. Usually he sends me long letters that take me a long time to read. Is he sick or something?

Anyway, the letter said “You need to talk to your mother”. There wasn’t even a Sincerely Time Turner or anything. I’m confused.

Why do I need to talk to Mom? Mom didn’t do anything. Shouldn’t Time Turner want me to talk to Mrs. Cake instead? Maybe Time Turner misunderstood my letter. He’s smart, but even smart ponies make mistakes. I’m going to talk to Bon-Bon about this. I’m sure she’ll find it funny.

I had another lesson with Mr. Cake today. He mostly talked while I cooked. We had a nice conversation about Ponyville and cooking school. It turns out Mr. Cake went to the same cooking school I’m going to. He told me a bunch of ghost stories about the school. One of them was about a crazy mare who haunts the library every Nightmare Night. The stories kind of scared me to be honest. I don’t have any experience with ghosts. Time Turner once told me that ghosts don’t exist, but how does he know for sure? Maybe I shouldn’t have turned all the lights off before I went to bed.

Mrs. Cake was making another delivery today. That’s why Mr. Cake had to teach me again. Is she avoiding me? Mr. Cake did mention he offered to cover the deliveries, but Mrs. Cake insisted. Is she mad at me? I don’t know why she would be, but what if she is? I really want to talk to her. I want to be sure she still likes me. Maybe I should bake her some of my muffins. Mr. Cake said I’m really improving. I want to show her how far I’ve come.

I haven’t heard from that colt. It hasn’t been too long, but I kind of expected him to have sent me a letter by now. I hope he’s okay. It’s cold tonight, so I hope he has somewhere warm to sleep. I hope he finds his very own Claws. Cats are great blankets!

I’d better get to sleep. I’m starting to get the heebie-jeebies thinking about all those ghost stories Mr. Cake told me.

Dear Diary,

I only have three days left in Ponyville before I have to go home. I still haven’t had a chance to talk to Mrs. Cake. To be truthful, I haven’t been trying all that hard. I keep telling myself I’m going to leave her a note and a muffin, but am I? Mr. Cake says my baking is improving really fast. What if the next muffin I make isn’t good enough for Mrs. Cake? It has to be perfect!

I’ve been thinking over what Time Turner said in his letter. I haven’t been back to Clousdale or talked to Mom face-to-face in such a long time. Maybe I should talk to her. But when would be the best time? I don’t want to intrude. I’ll write to her first. I know she doesn’t answer my letters usually, but this is important.

Bon-Bon’s been spending a lot of time out of the house. She comes back later and later every time. I think she has a secret friend she doesn’t want to tell anypony about. I remember her mentioning a friend of hers who happens to be staying in Ponyville right now. They must be really good friends if Bon-Bon is spending so much time with her!

I’ve been exploring Ponyville on my own lately. I’ve met so many nice ponies. I like Canterlot, but I’ve always felt like I don’t entirely fit in there. There’s so many fancy ponies who look at me weird. Everypony here seems so calm and accepting. Nopony treats me differently just because I look and act a little different than most ponies.

Now that I think about it, I’ve always been just a little self-conscious about my eyes. But not a single pony here has stared at me or tried to treat me differently. I like this place.

I’m off to bed. Its gotten late and I decided I’d be up extra early tomorrow. I want to be at Sugarcube Corner first thing in the morning!

Dear Diary,

I’m going to have to delay going back to school for a little while. It shouldn’t be more than a couple of extra days, but I definitely won’t be able to go back to school tomorrow like I was supposed to. Fortunately, I should be fine. The doctor said it’s definitely only a few days. He said this isn’t the first time he’s seen something like this.

I had a little accident. Well, it technically wasn’t my fault. It was Bon-Bon’s friend. Bon-Bon finally introduced me to the pony she’s been spending so much time wit.! Her name is Lyra and she’s a unicorn. She’s kind of strange, but I can’t say I dislike her. She’s so happy-go-lucky.

I came into the living room yesterday morning and Lyra was just sitting there on the couch. She has a weird way of sitting. It looks kind of uncomfortable. Lyra said her and Bon-Bon have been friends for a while. Lyra lives in Canterlot most of the time, but sometimes she visits Ponyville. She’s apparently studying the paranormal at one of those big schools in Canterlot. I didn’t know there were schools where ponies could learn about ghosts and anomalies.

Bon-Bon was in the kitchen making breakfast, so it was just the two of us. We got to talking about what it’s like being a pegasus versus being a unicorn. I said that being a pegasus is fun because you can fly. Lyra said that being a unicorn is better because you can do anything. I’m not sure if that’s true though. I don’t think unicorns can do literally anything. I asked her to give me an example. So Lyra tried to turn a vase into a toad. She got sad when she couldn’t do it, so I told her it was no big deal. I can’t turn a vase into a toad either.

I told Lyra that if I was a unicorn, I’d probably give myself a pair of wings so I could still fly. I said there were a few things I might change about myself if I had the magic to. Lyra asked what specifically I would change and I pointed out how I kind of didn’t like my eyes. I know none of my friends are freaked out by them or anything, but I still kind of wish they were normal.

So Lyra offered to fix them for me! I didn’t think she could. She promised she could, because she used to study all these obscure kinds of magic. She promised she knew what she was doing. I didn’t entirely believe her, but I thought it would be a fun experiment.

Well, the result is that I’m temporarily blind. Lyra said that to apologize, she’d let me dictate my diary entry to her. She promised not to read anything else I wrote. The doctor said everything should be fine once he takes the bandages off. I don’t know exactly why my eyes need to be bandaged though. The doctor said something about a special magic salve or something that would heal the damage done by Lyra’s spell.

Lyra said she was sorry about five times. I forgive her of course. She was just trying to help.

I can tell Lyra is getting tired, so I’m going to end this entry here. I need some sleep too.

Dear Diary,

Mrs. Cake was here when I woke up this morning. I couldn’t see her of course, but she said hello the moment I woke up. Mr. Cake visited me yesterday, but I thought Mrs. Cake wouldn’t come at all. I didn’t know what to do. I ended up staying completely quiet and letting her talk. It was an interesting conversation.

Mrs. Cake said she didn’t mean to ignore me. She said the whole me calling her Mommy thing kind of scared her. She said she’d never thought of herself as a mother before, so my words gave her a lot to think about. So that’s why she was avoiding me! I understand everything now. She also said Mr. Cake gave her one of the muffins I made and she’s impressed with how far I’ve come. She said I’m going to be an awesome chef no matter what. I’ve never been so flattered in my life! I hope I can make her proud someday. I have to master that muffin recipe!

Mrs. Cake left me some cinnamon buns to eat. I’m eating one right now while I dictate this to Lyra.

Bon-Bon came in earlier to read me my mail. It was only two letters, one from Peaceful Skies and the other from Fly High. It was merely some general updates. I’m glad they’re doing fine.

I haven’t written my letter to Mom yet. After this is all cleared up, I’ll definitely send her a letter. Something about hearing Mrs. Cake’s words made me certain I need to visit her at some point in the near future. I don’t know when my next break from school is, but I’ll be seizing the chance. I also want to see Fly High again. I miss his friendly face more and more with every letter he sends me.

Lyra’s nodding off again. I guess that puts an end to this entry.

Dear Diary,

I got the bandages off of my eyes today. I was so happy to be able to look in the mirror to see my own eyes staring back. They’re the same as they were before the accident.

I never thought I’d miss my eyes. But seeing them made me suddenly feel a lot better. These eyes might not be perfect, but they’re mine. If I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t be Derpy Hooves. And if I wasn’t Derpy Hooves, who would I be? Lyra? Lyra is nice, but I don’t think I want to be her. I want to be Derpy Hooves.

Me and Bon-Bon are going back to Canterlot this afternoon. We’re getting back to school a day later than anypony else. That makes me sad, but also kind of relieved. I got to patch things up with Mrs. Cake before I left. I’m going to keep practicing making muffins when I get back to school and surprise her by sending her a batch the first chance I get.

I’ve got to get going. The train for Canterlot is leaving in less than an hour. I’ve only got a few more things to pack. I’ll write more once I’m back at school.

Dear Diary,

I was going to wait until I got back to Canterlot before I got out my diary again, but something happened that was so amazing I had to write it down.

That colt sent me a letter! A mailmare came up to me at the train station and gave it to me just as Bon-Bon and I were about to board the train.

According to the letter, the colt is doing fine. He wrote about how he used the bits I gave him to buy a map and a compass. He’s been exploring Equestria ever since. He’s seen a lot of cool things he probably wouldn’t have known about if he didn’t have the map. He also said he met a filly whose also all alone in the world. They’ve started traveling together. He said that now that he’s no longer alone, he might be able to find someplace he truly belongs.

I hope that colt and his new friend are okay. It sounds like they’re both having trouble finding their place in the world. I’m sure they’ll find it someday though. Maybe they’ll find a nice family to adopt them. The letter wasn’t signed, so I still don’t know the colt’s name. I do know he paid the mailmare two bits to get the letter to me.

It’s going to be late by the time the train gets to Canterlot. I think I’ll take a long nap. I have a feeling I’m going to have good dreams tonight.

Adolescence (Part 3)

Dear Diary,

I’m finally back in Canterlot. To be honest, I didn’t realize I even missed this place until I saw my dorm room again. It’s great to be back. I feel like I’m home.

Apparently the break was extended because two of the instructors unexpectedly quit! The headmistress made an announcement about it.

Since me and Bon-Bon were late getting back, we had to catch up on some of the assignments. We have to write an essay about the history of magic use in cooking. We also have to come up with a completely original omelet recipe that’s fancy enough for one of those uptight restaurants. It’s going to be a tough week, but I’m still not unhappy I’m back.

I can’t wait to talk to Time Turner. I’ve missed having lunch with him.

I’d better go to bed. I have to get up early tomorrow to visit the library for my essay.

Dear Diary,

Today’s lunch was eventful. I didn’t get to meet up with Time Turner like I usually do, which was a bummer. But I barely even noticed it because of who I got to have lunch with instead. Lyra and Bon-Bon!

Bon-Bon usually picks Lyra up for lunch and it’s just the two of them, but this time Bon-Bon said I could tag along. The school Lyra goes to is called Honey Haze’s School of the Paranormal. Well, it’s not a school exactly. It’s more like a big building with three rooms and no desks. It’s kind of cozy.

All through lunch, Lyra talked about all the cool paranormal stuff she learned from Honey Haze. She told me about a ton of scary creatures that nopony knows exist.

When I told Lyra about how two instructors at the cooking school quit, she said it was probably because of a ghost. I’d never even considered that! Lyra said that if it’s a ghost, somepony needs to get rid of it before it wreaks havoc. She said ghosts are totally unreasonable and almost always malevolent. I don’t believe that. I bet if there is a ghost, he or she is just lonely. When I told Lyra that, she said the ghost would be less lonely if we sent it back to the ghost realm so it could be with its friends. I’m happy the ghost has friends. I bet he or she is sad that they’re stuck here where nopony will talk to them.

We’re going to hold something called a séance this weekend. I’m excited. I’ve never talked to a ghost before. What do ghosts talk about? I hope they like cupcakes. I’m going to bring one for them. Do ghosts even eat? Well, I’m sure they’ll appreciate the gesture even if they can’t eat it.

I haven’t seen Hot Cakes too much. He hasn’t been avoiding me and Bon-Bon exactly, but he’s been hanging out with a group of ponies neither of us know. I’m glad he’s started to make some more friends.

I’d better get to work on that omelet recipe. I’d also better find a good cupcake recipe for the séance!

Dear Diary,

I got to eat lunch with Time Turner today. I meant to talk to him about the letter he sent me, but I got sidetracked. I told him about the séance as soon as we sat down. That was a bad idea! He started talking about how ghosts aren’t real and how seances are ridiculous and only foolish ponies believe in them.

Am I a foolish pony? I know I’m not the smartest mare in the barn, but am I stupid for thinking ghosts might be real? Time Turner seemed so sure that ghosts don’t exist. And if he doesn’t believe in them, what are the chances they could be real anyway?

I’m still doing the séance though. I even invited Time Turner along. He laughed, but he said he’d come because it was obviously a big deal to me. I kind of hope I prove him wrong. Time Turner’s great, but he always seems to think he knows everything.

Does Time Turner think I’m stupid? I feel like he underestimates me just because I don’t go to one of those fancy schools for smart ponies. I know I’m not smart enough to get into one of those schools. Even if I was, I would still have chosen cooking school. I don’t want to be a scholar or a teacher or whatever ponies from those schools become. I just want to be Derpy Hooves, Master Chef.

Dear Diary,

Me and Bon-Bon went out shopping for the séance today. Bon-Bon’s never done one before either, but Lyra gave us a list of things we needed. We had to buy a whole bunch of parchment, some quills, and something Lyra called a “weegee board”. To be honest, I’m starting to get nervous. I mean, what if the ghost is real and it doesn’t like what we’re doing? How do you fight a ghost if it tries to hurt you? If you hurt or kill a ghost by accident, do you get in trouble? I want to ask Lyra all of these questions. On the other hoof, I don’t think Lyra knows as much about it as she seems to.

The weegee board was hard to find. We had to go to this really creepy store on the edge of Canterlot that sold all kinds of weird stuff. There were amulets and shrunken heads and even animal skeletons. I don’t think I like that place. Bon-Bon assured me that all of it was probably fake, but I don’t know. Those shrunken heads looked pretty real.

The séance is in two days, so I’m trying not to worry too much about it. I’m more concerned with the omelet recipe. I’ve written about five drafts by now. They’re all good, but I feel like they’re all missing something. Maybe they’re all just too normal? I want to really wow the instructor with something they’ve never tasted before. I need to think bigger.

In about two weeks’ time, the whole school is going on a special trip. We’re going to travel across Equestria visiting restaurants and reviewing them. We’re going to be like critics! Most of the restaurants are in Canterlot or Manehattan. I hope I can say hello to Peaceful Skies, Button Nose, and Avalon while I’m in Manehattan. I’m going to surprise them with a visit if I can.

Well, I need to get back to my omelet recipe. I can feel myself getting closer and closer to getting it right. I just need to believe in myself!

Dear Diary,

We had the séance tonight. I almost put it off because I wanted to put the finishing touches on my omelet recipe. It was a lot more interesting than I expected it to be.

We held the séance in the room I share with Bon-Bon. Lyra made the room really spooky. All the lights were out and there were candles everywhere. We all had to sit on the floor in a circle around the weegee board. Even though he obviously doesn’t believe in all this ghost stuff, I could tell Time Turner was scared. I was too.

Lyra had a book that told us what to do. We had to place our hooves on the weegee board, then we closed our eyes and hummed. Lyra said that if a spirit was nearby, it would be attracted to our hums and start moving the pointer thing. Then we could ask it questions and we had to write down the answers it gave.

First Lyra asked “Is there an unseen creature here with us right now?” or something like that. And then the pointer thing started to move under our hooves! It scared us so much that we all screamed. I kept my hooves on it even though I was shaking, but Lyra freaked out. She took her hooves off the pointer and picked up the board in her magic. I tried to stop her, but she threw it against the wall and it was completely ruined. I’ve never seen Lyra look so frightened before. It was even scarier than the ghost. I thought she was used to this kind of thing.

I wish this entry was longer, but that was pretty much it for the séance. I’m still shaking, so I’m trying my best to forget about what happened. Is the ghost still there? Is it haunting this room right now? Having a séance was a bad idea.

I almost forgot to mention Hot Cakes! Its been so long since I talked to him. He left a note for us saying that he still thought of us as friends, but he’d made a ton of new friends and doesn’t think he has the time to hang out with us anymore. I’m happy for him. I hope his new friends are as nice as Bon-Bon and me.

It’s late, but I’d better get down to the kitchens and test out my new recipe. It’s not exactly what I was going for, but I don’t have much of a choice. I just hope I get a passing grade.

Dear Diary,

I didn’t make it to the kitchens last night. I told myself I’d close my eyes for two minutes, but when I opened them it was morning and I was late for class. Not a good start to the day. Fortunately, it got a lot better.

First of all, no ghost sightings or weird noises. I’m having a hard time believing what happened at the séance wasn’t a dream.

Since I was late, I was the last to get my omelet evaluated. I was so nervous and sleepy that I kept tripping over things and spilling things. I must have made a terrible impression. But what’s great is that once I started cooking, it was like I’d gotten a full night’s sleep. I actually managed to get through the entire thing without burning the omelet. I ended up passing, although I got some points taken away because of how clumsy I was. At least the instructor was impressed!

I realized what my recipe was missing. It was okay when I tasted it and the instructor said it was alright, but I now know what it was missing. There was no pizzazz. If there’s one thing Mrs. Cake taught me, it’s that food is more than recipes. I need to use my imagination. As the saying goes, “A pegasus who doesn’t stretch their wings will never learn how to fly”. I know I already passed so I don’t have to worry about it anymore, but I think I’m going to start improving my recipe. I’m going to try to make it even better than it was before, even if I’m not getting anything for it. It’s not enough for my teachers to think I’m a good chef. I need to know I can think outside the box.

I had lunch with Time Turner again. We talked a lot about the séance. He kept saying that it was all a mind thing. He said that our subconscious was moving the pointer or something like that. Personally, I think Lyra might have been playing a trick. She was trying to scare us.

I confronted Lyra, but she insisted everything that happened was real. I don’t know what to think. Seeing as nothing weird as happened, I’m going to assume the ghost had gone back to wherever it lives. I’m happy for it if that’s the case. Even a malevolent spirit deserves a home and friends.

Bon-Bon talked to the headmistress today. She found out the instructors left because they were offered jobs at some exclusive restaurants in Canterlot. Their leaving had nothing to do with a ghost anyway. So much for holding a séance.

I’m probably going to have nightmares tonight. Oh well. At least with the weegee board gone, the ghost can’t talk to us again.

Dear Diary,

The trip is in a week. I’ve spent most of my spare time putting the finishing touches on my omelet recipe. I’m kind of tired of eating omelets several times a day, but I swear I’m going to perfect this recipe. I hope my other assignments don’t suffer too badly. The last essay I turned in was only passable.

Mrs. Cake wrote me a letter. It was just a general update telling me how things are still fine in Ponyville. She also sent me a muffin recipe she thinks I should try. It’s an easy one, but I have a feeling I’m going to fail the first few times.

The closer the trip gets, the more I wonder if I even want to return to Manehattan. I should want to, right? It’s where I spent so much of my foalhood. It’s where most of my family lives. But I feel like if I’m there even for a day, I’ll get so sad about having left that I won’t want to return to cooking school. I left so many memories behind. I want to pick up where I left off, but I know I can’t. Maybe some day I’ll return there for good.

I have two essays to finish and some recipes to practice. I might not be writing for a while.

Dear Diary,

The first part of the trip is today. We’re starting with a bunch of restaurants in Canterlot. We’re supposed to rate them based mainly on the food, but we also have to weigh in on the service. I’m nervous. I feel like I should be dressed up. Most of these places are so fancy and expensive I normally wouldn’t be able to afford to even stand outside. We don’t have to look professional or anything, but I decided to do something a little different. I put my mane in a ponytail and Bon-Bon let me borrow an old pair of glasses she used to wear. I poked the lenses out so I would stop bumping into things, but I don’t think anypony is going to notice. I hope I look like a real critic.

That’s about it for now. I’ll write again tonight when I have time.

Dear Diary,

We went to four restaurants today (one for breakfast, one for lunch, one for dinner, and one for dessert). Most of them were serving pretty much the same food. All of the portions were so small! The food was prepared in a really nice way though. Everything looked more like an art piece than something we were supposed to eat. I feel a little sorry for the chefs. They probably spend thirty minutes making this food look like art and then somepony just gobbles it up.

I tried to vary the way I said it, but I basically just wrote “Good presentation, tastes nice” for every one. I wish I had more to say about them, but none of them stood out to me. Well, there were a few places that stood out to me. But Hazel (she’s the instructor in charge of the trip) walked us right past them. When I asked, she said those places weren’t fancy enough. But the smells coming from them made my mouth water! So many exotic spices and vegetables.

I know I was supposed to be reviewing the food, but once I realized everything was probably going to taste about the same, I decided to work more on revising my omelet recipe. The more I think about it, the more I wonder if I’m trying too hard. I keep trying to rewrite the recipe with ingredients that sound fun, like chocolate chips or beet juice, then I realize that that would probably taste awful. Omelets are such an easy dish to make and there are literally millions of variations for toppings, but everything I come up with is either too ridiculous or too bland. How do I make my omelet really pop?

Tomorrow we’re going to be touring some more restaurants in Canterlot, then it’s off to Manehattan. It’ll be nice to see the city again.

I’d better get to sleep. I have to get up even earlier than usual tomorrow.

Dear Diary,

It was more of the same today. We kept passing by restaurants that looked interesting so we could visit ones serving pretty much the same food.

I’m starting to like this ponytail and glasses thing. I feel like everypony is treating me differently because of it. Maybe that’s my imagination. I sure feel different at least. I feel a lot smarter and more aware of things. Is this what ponies who wear glasses feel like all the time? I had no idea I was missing out.

I know I said that the restaurants were serving basically the same things, but that isn’t one hundred percent true. The desserts were pretty unique and creative. The chefs really went out of their way when it came to making them visually appealing and delicious. In the last place we went to, I actually had a lot to say about the cake. It was about seven feet high and everypony got a big piece of it. I wish I could make something like that.

Other than everything I mentioned before, nothing much happened today. Well, except Lyra. She tagged along for the trip, even though she doesn’t go to this school. She said she likes free food and would never pass up on an opportunity for a whole day of it. Lyra said she might be going with us to Manehattan as well because she’s never been. I don’t know how she’ll get away with it, but I hope she does.

It’s about time I went to bed. I’m so excited I might not be able to sleep for a while. I can’t wait to surprise Peaceful Skies and everypony else.

Dear Diary,

Manehattan is just as great as I remember it being! It was like I’d only been gone a day. All of the buildings I remember are still there. I even recognized some of the ponies, although I couldn’t remember their names. The moment I stepped off the carriage, it was like I was a filly again. I remember the first time I ever stepped hoof in this place. It feels so recent, yet so much has happened since then.

I didn’t have time to see Peaceful Skies and everypony else like I was going to. I was too busy showing Lyra and Bon-Bon all of my favorite places. We arrived late in the afternoon, so we got the day off to do whatever we wanted. I took Lyra and Bon-Bon to my favorite store, the pet supply shop where I bought food for Claws, and the one museum Peaceful Skies took me to once. Mostly the three of us walked around and took pictures. Even though I lived in Manehattan so long, there were still some places I never got around to visiting.

We had dinner at that diner that reminds me of the one in Cloudsdale. The food wasn’t as good as I remembered it, but I still ordered seconds.

Today went faster than I wanted it to. I was genuinely surprised to learn it was near midnight. We all had to rush back to the hotel we were staying at. Hazel yelled at us for being so late.

Tomorrow is going to be the best day. I can just feel it!

Dear Diary,

The restaurants in Manehattan are so much different than those in Canterlot. They’re all so diverse. The taste of the food actually varied from place to place. Most of the restaurants had their own unique theme, like “griffon cuisine re-imagined for ponies”. Some of them had food that wasn’t very nice, but I didn’t mind. I’m sure they’re all trying their best.

The best restaurant we went to today was one called “The Dragon’s Dungeon”. The place claimed to serve “authentic dragon cuisine based on ancient lost recipes”, but Bon-Bon thinks it was a gimmick. Even if it was, the food was great. My only disappointment was that none of the staff were dragons.

It made my wonder: If I ever open a theme restaurant, what will the theme be? Maybe it’ll be something simple, like pegasi history. Or maybe I’ll go more bold. I wonder if anypony’s ever done a friendship themed restaurant before. I’m not sure what that would look like. Maybe instead of tables there’s just one long booth?

I probably should have mentioned this first, but I got kind of distracted thinking about what my ideal theme restaurant would be like. I visited Button Nose today! She was so happy to see me that she broke down crying. She said she hasn’t talked to Peaceful Skies in a long time and was starting to get lonely. I was kind of wondering why Peaceful Skies stopped mentioning her in his letters and she stopped mentioning him.

I spent the rest of the day and the entire night with Button Nose. We mostly talked and exchanged recipes. I basically told her everything I’d told her in my letters. It was different actually saying it out loud. Most of it sounds so crazy and unlikely.

Button Nose’s reaction to me showing up made me feel guilty. If I thought I’d been gone a long time, it must have been twice as long for her. I don’t want to drop out of cooking school or anything drastic, but she does seem lonely. It’s like somepony took a big chunk out of her life and she’s still trying to recover from it. Does Mom ever feel the same way? Is that why Mom doesn’t write letters to me?

I need to visit Mom. I feel like she could answer a lot of my questions.

This tea Button Nose made me is putting me right to sleep. I’ll write more tomorrow if I have the chance.

Dear Diary,

I visited Peaceful Skies and Avalon today! They’re a lot different from Button Nose. They’re both as nice as she is, but they seem happier.

Avalon said she’s on track to become a model. She has an interview tomorrow that might mean big things for her. I’m wishing her all the luck in Equestria. I’m jealous of how confident she is. She didn’t seem worried at all.

Peaceful Skies had a surprise for me. He was going to send it to me, but since I showed up unexpectedly he decided I could just have it.

Vinyl Scratch sent me a package! I couldn’t believe it. I haven’t talked to her in years. How does she even remember me? Well, I guess I’m kind of hard to forget. I don’t think even Vinyl has met a lot of cross-eyed ponies.

There was no letter with the package, so at first I thought it might not be for me after all. I thought it might have been meant for somepony named “Ditzy Hooves” or “Derpy Woods” and the mailpony just made a mistake. But inside the package there was a tape. I turned the tape over and there was a note on the back written in Vinyl’s hoofwriting. According to the note, this tape is the first piece of music Vinyl has ever written and produced by herself. The note said she’s sending this tape to everypony she knows. I’m so happy Vinyl is achieving her dreams just like I’m achieving mine!

I haven’t listened to the tape yet. I’m saving it for a special occasion. Then I’m going to write to Vinyl and tell her what I thought of it. I bet it’s amazing.

Claws is doing well. He spent most of my visit napping beside me or in my lap. When I finally had to leave, he clung to my hoof and wouldn’t let go. It breaks my heart to know how much he misses me. I wish cats were allowed at school.

I need to be up early again, so that will have to do it for this entry.

Dear Diary,

I thought there wouldn’t be much going on once I got back to school, but I was wrong. I’ve only been back three days and I’m already starting to panic. I’m completely on top of most of my schoolwork, so that’s not a problem. I’m doing better than I thought I would, even though I’m devoting so much of my free time to perfecting my omelet.

It’s evaluation week! Basically, this is a week-long thing where students get evaluated by the headmistress every day. No one is allowed to talk about the evaluations, even if they’ve had one. It’s all a secret until it’s our turn. I’m nervous. As far as I can tell, the students are chosen at random and it’s a different number of them every day. I could get called in at any time I’m not in my classes. I don’t know what happens if I fail my evaluation. Will I get a re-do? Will I get kicked out of school?

I talked to Time Turner about it today. He’s already had something like that at his school. Unfortunately, he couldn’t give me any pointers. He said for his evaluation, he got called into the office and had to recite a bunch of facts and answer questions while being timed.

I think I could handle something like that. I’m good at memorizing recipes. The only thing I have to worry about is getting too nervous. Will I fail if I get one ingredient or step wrong? If that’s the case, I’d better try extra hard. But I have no idea which recipes I could be asked to recite! I can’t memorize all of them.

My best bet is to wow the headmistress with my cooking. This is a cooking school after all. I bet I have to cook something for my evaluation. What should I make? If it’s something too easy, I might fail because I’m not trying hard enough. If it’s something too difficult, I might make it wrong. Should I forget about my omelet and try to perfect my muffins? Muffins are pretty hard, at least in my opinion. Will the headmistress be impressed? No, of course she won’t. It needs to be something fancy and cool. Maybe something exotic.

I’m going to go scour the cookbooks in the library. There has to be something interesting in one of them that I can make for the headmistress.

I also just realized I don’t know the headmistress’s name. I think she mentioned it, but I completely forgot. I hope I don’t lose points for that.

Dear Diary,

Bon-Bon had her evaluation today. In fact, she’s still having it. She was called into the office right after our first class of the day. Now it’s nearly bedtime and I still haven’t seen her. I hope she’s doing okay.

I perfected my omelet recipe. I found the perfect blend of spices, cheese, and mushrooms to make the best omelet I’ve ever tasted. It’s the exact right amount of pizzazz I was looking for. I’m proud of myself, but I feel like I’ve wasted my time. I haven’t made any progress when it comes to making muffins. In fact, I think I’ve gotten worse. Yesterday night I almost started a fire in the kitchen.

Things are getting too complicated again. I want to get everything over with, but at the same time I’m terrified of the results. I haven’t even been able to write anypony about my dilemma. I’m afraid they wouldn’t be able to reply in time.

On the bright side, I listened to Vinyl’s tape in the hopes it could calm me down. It was amazing! I’ve never heard music like that before. It was loud and aggressive, but also a little comforting. It made me feel like I had just escaped some kind of big disaster. Vinyl has some real talent. Once this is all over, I’m going to write her a long letter filling her in on everything she’s missed in my life and tell her how great her music is.

If I do get kicked out of school, what am I going to do? I guess I’ll go back home to Manehattan and live with Button Nose. Maybe I’ll get a job as a waitress at The Dragon’s Dungeon or some other place. That would be nice. Or maybe I could become a model like Avalon or a martial arts instructor like Peaceful Skies. There are so many options I’d never even thought of. But at the same time, I don’t want to go back to Manehattan. It might be the closest thing I’ve ever had to home, but there’s so much more to Equestria than big cities. What I want more than anything else is for things to stop moving so I can finally think. Things are always moving in the city, so it’s harder to focus on the things that I love the most, like my family and friends.

I could move back to Cloudsdale. I could live with Mom. Or maybe I could live with Fly High. Cloudsdale is where pegasi belong, right? It’s where I was born.

I don’t know, but I’m glad I have options.

Dear Diary,

I had my evaluation today. I got called into the headmistress’s office after the last class of the day. I was so surprised that I almost dropped all of my books. I was shaking all the way there. I don’t remember having been to the headmistress’s office before. I probably have, but I was so nervous that I completely forgot what it looked like.

It turns out the headmistress is named Parsley Palette. She actually looks friendly when she isn’t giving announcements. She reminds me of Mrs. Cake, except she’s a unicorn instead of an Earth pony.

Ms. Palette told me how she’d looked over all of my schoolwork and talked to the instructors about my performance. She said I was a pretty good student and a decent chef. She also said she was surprised I was able to keep up with the workload so well. Apparently most pegasi who come here end up giving up early because they decide they’d rather join the weather patrol or be a Wonderbolt. I’m one of the few whose stayed on long enough to be evaluated by her.

After she said all those nice things, Ms. Palette took me to a kitchen area. I’ve never heard of anypony having a kitchen attached to their office, but it was right there through a door at the back. It was a big kitchen too. All the utensils and pots and pans were gleaming like they’d just been polished.

I only got to admire it for a little though. I had to cook something for Ms. Palette. That wasn’t so bad because I was expecting it. However, the whole thing was way scarier than I’d imagined it. Ms. Palette was looming over me the entire time. She never said anything, but just feeling her there was enough.

Ms. Palette let me choose what I would make. I ended up not going with an omelet or muffins. I decided to make a cake instead. Cakes are great because you can make them look simple or beautiful. I thought Ms. Palette would be impressed if I made a really gorgeous cake that tasted amazing.

I hardly remember the actual cooking part. All I can remember is bumping into stuff and spilling ingredients all over the floor. I somehow managed to make the cake, although it didn’t look quite as great as I thought it would. It was a three-layer chocolate-vanilla cake with raspberries and strawberries. I wish I’d gotten to eat some of it. Looking back, I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever made at this school. I had no idea I was even capable of making something like that.

Once Ms. Palette had eaten a slice, we had the actual evaluation part. She said I was an excellent cook with obvious talent and a lot of passion. I was so relieved when I heard that. In a way, I still am. I’d always kind of doubted my cooking abilities. The headmistress of this fancy school saying that must mean I’m good at it despite my worries.

Unfortunately, that’s where the good part ends. I’ve been stalling as long as I can, but I guess I have to write down what happened next. I was so happy after what Ms. Palette said. I thought I’d finally found my place among all of these aspiring chefs and that this was my destiny. I guess fate isn’t as easy to figure out as it ought to be for a pony.

Ms. Palette told me that I’ll probably never become a chef. She said that even though I have a lot of talent when it comes to cooking, I’m far too clumsy. My level of clumsiness might be somewhat okay for a weather pony, but it could be downright disastrous for a chef. I do tend to bump into things and knock things over when I cook. I’ve gotten so used to my clumsiness that I forgot it was even an issue. It’s not necessarily something I can fix. I’ve always been like this. I think it might have something to do with my eyes or otherwise related to the accident I had when I was a foal that made me like this. Whatever the reason, being clumsy is just a part of me. But no matter how I look at it, I can’t become a chef.

I told Ms. Palette all of this and she was very understanding. She told me she’d arrange for me to leave the school sometime next week if I wanted. I agreed. I mean, what’s the point in me staying if I can never become a chef anyway?

I’ll start packing tomorrow. I’m going to miss this place.

Dear Diary,

At this very moment, I’ve almost finished packing my bags. I told Bon-Bon I was leaving. I expected her to beg me not to go, but she was just as understanding as Ms. Palette. She said that she wasn’t really cut out to be a chef either. She told me she’s had other things in mind since the beginning, but she thought the chef thing would be fun to try out at least. I hope whatever Bon-Bon ends up doing works out for her. She has a lot of talents she could put to good use.

I’m going to miss Time Turner. I haven’t had the chance to tell him I’m leaving yet, but I’m sure he’s going to be heartbroken. He’s helped me in more ways than he’ll ever know. In a way, just being around him made me feel as if I could achieve anything. One day, Time Turner is going to become the greatest professor in Canterlot. He’s really the smartest pony I’ve ever met.

When I told Lyra I was leaving and why, she promised she’d find a spell to get rid of my clumsiness. I told her it wasn’t necessary, but she insisted she’d start looking immediately. She probably won’t find one, but I’m a little worried she might hurt herself trying out spells. I’m glad she has Bon-Bon to look after her.

I’m still not sure of where I want to go exactly. I wrote a letter to Mom telling her what happened and asking if I can live with her again. I don’t expect her to reply, but I might go back to Cloudsdale and talk to her. Fly High sent me a reply saying that I should come back to Cloudsdale and become a weather pony. Button Nose and Peaceful Skies want me to come back to Manehattan. I do miss all of them. I miss Claws as well. I wish I could live with all of them in one place.

Maybe I don’t even need to return home. Maybe I could live in Las Pegasus or Baltimare instead. I’ve been looking at my map and I’ve realized how many places are in Equestria. I knew Equestria was big, but for some reason it seems even bigger now that I’m leaving Canterlot.

Where does a pony like me belong?

Wherever I belong, I’m going to have to wait a while to figure it out.

Dear Diary,

I’m waiting for the train. I probably should have packed up my diary, but I couldn’t wait to write. I have a feeling I won’t be writing in here for a while.

I finally managed to talk to Time Turner this morning. He already knew about me leaving because Lyra told him. He’d been avoiding me since then. I thought he was mad at me for some reason. I really thought I was going to leave Canterlot without saying goodbye to him.

We said a lot of things to each other, mostly about how we valued our friendship. Time Turner promised he’d write me letters and I promised to write back. I’ve never seen him cry before. I’m positive we’re going to meet again, but somehow it felt like we were saying goodbye for the last time. The moment I put away my diary, I’m going to start writing him a letter. I’m not sure what it’ll be about, but I’m going to start one anyway.

Hot Cakes showed up as I was about to leave. He said that even though we’re not as close as we were before, he’s sorry to see me go. He said he’s more committed to his quest to become a chef. I’m happy he’s become more confident in his own fur.

After a lot of thinking, I decided where I’m going to go. It’s kind of strange. This wasn’t a place that was calling to me or a place I know very intimately. Thinking about it more made me realize I’d been there a few times with Mom when I was a filly, but it never made an impact on me back then. Somehow I feel drawn to it. Maybe it’s because this place is exactly what I’ve been looking for. It’s a place where I can slow down and think for the first time in my life.

I’m not as bothered about not becoming a chef as I thought I was. That’s obviously not my destiny. Whatever my destiny is, it’s waiting for me at the end of a road I never even knew I was on. I don’t know what it could possibly be yet, but I’ll know it when I see it.

The train’s here. I’d better get going. I’m not sure when I’ll be picking up this diary again. I probably won’t touch it until I find my destiny.

I might have been born in Cloudsdale and spent a good deal of my fillyhood in Manehattan and my adolescence in Canterlot, but I think I know where every path I took was going to lead.

In a strange way, Ponyville has always been my home. It’s where I found the first real peace I’d ever had in my life. I hope I can find it again.

Goodbye for now, Diary. I’m going home.

Adulthood

Dear Diary,

Didn’t think I’d be digging you up for a long time! I just finished reading through all of my old entries. Wow, things sure were different back then. I don’t think I’ve changed much, but who am I to judge? My friends definitely don’t seem to think I’ve become a totally different pony or anything.

I haven’t found my destiny yet. I know I wasn’t going to write until then, but I couldn’t resist. I noticed there was still some room left. Not much, but enough to write out the rest of my story (I hope).

I might have forgotten about this diary altogether if I hadn’t been going through boxes. I’m planning to sell some of my old stuff that I don’t need anymore. Most of it has been collecting dust at Button Nose’s house.

So much has happened since my last entry, but at the same time it feels like nothing at all has happened. My life has been kind of standing still since I came to Ponyville.

Button Nose, Peaceful Skies, and Avalon are doing well. It feels weird to write their names in this diary again, but also satisfying. I’m happy I managed to make so many good friends and that they still love me.

I felt guilty about leaving Button Nose all alone, but fortunately things have worked out for her. She was sad at first, even though she encouraged me to keep following my dreams. Then she started adopting foals in need. She has about five of them now. She had to move to a bigger house way out somewhere in the countryside. I visit Button Nose from time to time. She seems happy and so do the foals.

Peaceful Skies and Avalon are pretty much the same as always, except Avalon has finally become a model. Peaceful Skies wrote me a few days ago to say he’s thinking about becoming a flight instructor at some school in Cloudsdale. I wish both of them all the luck in Equestria. Neither of them write as much as they did before. Then again, neither does Button Nose. I guess they’re busy with their own things.

Fly High writes me constantly though! He sends me at least three letters a day. Most of them are mundane, but I enjoy getting them anyway. He’s retired, so he’s not as busy as he was before. I’m sure he appreciates how I always write back.

Time Turner moved to Ponyville about a month ago. We’ve been having lunch together almost every day since then. Sometimes he’s too busy working on his secret projects or he has to dash away before we finish eating. I don’t mind. I know he’s busy with his science stuff. It doesn’t even bother me that he won’t tell me what he’s working on. It’s not that Time Turner thinks I won’t understand or anything. He just likes to keep some of his projects to himself. I appreciate whatever little time he makes for me.

I can’t say much about Bon-Bon. I mean, I literally can’t say much about her. Her and Lyra live in Ponyville together, which I’m sure is nice for them. Bon-Bon has some kind of job she won’t tell me anything about. Whatever it is, I once saw her sneaking around in the middle of the night wearing a fake mustache (or at least I’m pretty sure it was fake). Lyra and Bon-Bon seem happy, so I’m not going to question it.

Now onto myself! I moved into a cottage a few days ago. Up until now, I’d been living in the spare room above Sugarcube Corner while I worked there. I finally saved up enough bits to afford my own place. That’s not the best part though. The best part is that I’m training for a brand new job. Don’t get me wrong. I loved working for Mrs. and Mr. Cake. Nopony could have asked for better bosses. I learned so much about baking, even though I still haven’t mastered that muffin recipe. However, I kind of needed a change. I decided to sign up for the weather squad. It’s going to be difficult, but I’m sure I’ll be a fully-fledged weather pony after I finish my training.

Speaking of training, I’d better end this entry here. I need to get up extra-early.

I’m not going to write as much because of how little room I have left, but hopefully the entries I do make guide me towards my destiny.

Dear Diary,

I had my first day of training yesterday. It didn’t go well at all. I was five minutes late, so I got yelled at by my coach. I had to do extra wing exercises to make up for my tardiness. My wings feel like jelly after all those drills. I did my best, but I could barely keep up with the other ponies. Every time I fell behind or made a mistake, I had to do a whole twenty wing-ups to make up for it. I know I shouldn’t complain because this is what I expected, but I can’t help it. This is like school all over again.

My coach doesn’t think I’m going to complete the training. Maybe she’s right, but I’m still going to try. If there’s one thing I learned from cooking school, it’s that quitting never solves anything.

I’d like to write more, but I can’t. I’m sore all over from training.

Dear Diary,

I finally got around to writing that letter to Vinyl. I doubt she remembers she even sent me that tape, especially since she’s a big star now. But I promised myself I’d give her my honest opinion and I hate breaking promises.

It’s strange. Vinyl’s music has had such an impact on my life. I never thought I’d meet somepony who could affect me so much without even being in the same room. Every time I feel kind of down, I always cheer up when one of her songs comes on the radio. It’s not so much the song itself as it is the memory of our friendship. I managed to say all of this in my letter, but words can’t really describe how Vinyl’s music makes me feel.

Its been about two weeks and my training hasn’t been going well. For starters, I found out the pony who processed my application got my name wrong. It’s DERPY HOOVES, not DITZY DOO. I was too polite to correct her. I had to cross out the DITZY on my vest and write DERPY instead. It’s still not entirely correct, but it’s better. The coach still calls me Ditzy Doo though because it’s the name on my application.

Mrs. Cake has started giving me free muffins. I want to decline because I want to learn how to make my own finally, but then again I don’t have much time to bake.

I hope Vinyl appreciates my letter.

Dear Diary,

Two months and no progress with my training. My evaluation is coming up soon. Seeing how my last evaluation went, I’m nervous about this one. I feel like I haven’t progressed at all.

On the bright side, I got to see Vinyl today. She lives in Ponyville with this other mare called Octavia. I decided to hoof-deliver my letter so we could talk face-to-face.

I did most of the talking. In fact, I did all of the talking. Vinyl just sat there bobbing her head to the music and listening. It felt great to just talk to somepony. I ended up admitting a lot of things I normally would have kept to myself. I told her about how I actually feel a little bad about how cooking school never worked out. I also told her a bunch of stories from my foalhood, like how I entered a cart race during one of my visits to Ponyville. I told her how I remember being a pretty good flier before I had that accident.

I haven’t thought about the accident or Mom in a long time. How different would my life be if I hadn’t had that accident? Would I be a Wonderbolt? I feel as if being a Wonderbolt wasn’t in the cards no matter how good of a flier I was. I can’t picture myself in one of those uniforms. When I was trying to become a chef, I could clearly see myself cooking in a fancy restaurant every time I closed my eyes. No matter what I’ve wanted over the years, I don’t think I’ve ever really desired to become a Wonderbolt, except for Mom’s sake.

I did a lot of things for Mom’s sake, didn’t I? Sometimes when I think of my foalhood, I’m not entirely convinced I was actually the foal. I feel like I spent more time taking care of Mom than she did taking care of me. That can’t be right, can it?

I guess it doesn’t matter. I can’t see myself going back to Cloudsdale. That part of my life ended a long time ago. My future is in Ponyville.

Vinyl gave me two tickets to a concert in Baltimare. Maybe I’ll go with Time Turner.

Dear Diary,

Well, I’m not becoming a weather pony. I shouldn’t be so surprised, but it’s hard to prepare for something like this. I guess I always had a little hope I might somehow become the world’s best flier in time for my evaluation. I scored a four out of ten, which isn’t bad. My coach said she’d expected me to barely scrape by, but I got extra points for my determination.

The good news is that since I’m not completely terrible at all things flying-related, I’ll still be able to help out once in a while if they’re understaffed. So all of my training wasn’t a total loss.

What am I going to do now? I could go back to Sugarcube Corner, but I heard Mr. and Mrs. Cake are already in the process of finding a replacement. I don’t want to show up again, even if I know they’d gladly take me back. There are better bakers than me out there who could help a lot more than I ever did. I loved working there, but I think I dropped more cakes than I baked.

I asked Time Turner if he needed an assistant or something and he said no. I don’t know why I asked. I know he likes to work alone. This pony named Roseluck helps him once in a while, but he usually does everything by himself.

I want to talk to somepony about this, but I feel like they’ll all tell me the same thing: that I did my best and that’s the most important part. I know all of that already.

Maybe I need to talk to somepony I haven’t talked to in a long time. Somepony who could give me a different perspective on this whole thing and possibly point me towards my real destiny.

I need to see Mom.

Dear Diary,

I just got back from my trip to Cloudsdale. I’m still shocked I went through with it. Every time I thought I was going to visit Mom, something always came up or I decided not to at the last minute. I made so many excuses. I don’t know what I was afraid of.

I was right. Talking with Mom did help me, but not in the way I thought it would.

Since I hadn’t seen her for years, I expected Mom to start gushing about how much she missed me. Instead she just sat in an armchair and stared at me. It was really awkward. She didn’t even answer when I knocked on the door. I saw her peeking at me through the blinds though, so she knew it was me.

Eventually, we started talking. Well, I started talking. I told her all about everything that had happened to me since I left all those years ago. I just went on and on and on about my life, all the friends I’d made, and all the cool things I’d seen in Manehattan and Canterlot. I don’t think I said much about Ponyville, but I definitely told her all about how big Canterlot was and how I couldn’t believe how close to the castle I was.

I must have gone on for an hour before Mom finally said something back. Actually, she asked me to get her a glass of cider. Of course I did, because I know how much she loves cider. I’m not a big fan of it myself, except during Cider Season in Ponyville. Those ponies sure do love cider.

So I got Mom the glass of cider. It took her a while to drink it. The entire time she was staring at me like she expected me to start talking again. Then when she finally finished her cider, she started talking.

I’m not going to write down everything she said. Most of it was the usual rambling she does when she has too much cider. But some of it was about me.

Mom told me how she never really knew my dad. She met him at a party and then a few months later I was born. She never even knew his name. That sounds bad, but Mom said he was actually nice to her and she kind of wishes she’d tried to find him after I was born. Then Mom told me about how she always wanted to be a Wonderbolt when she was a filly. She said her parents paid for so much expensive training, but in the end Mom just couldn’t do it and her parents disliked her for it. I felt really bad for Mom when she told me that. I wonder what would have happened if I’d almost become a Wonderbolt, then failed at the last minute. Would Mom have wanted me to leave? I like to think she would have supported me even if I failed, but I feel like I don’t want to find out either way.

I think I understand why Mom did the things she did. I think I finally get why she got so mad whenever I did something wrong and why she drank a lot and why she was so miserable about my accident. Mom knew before I did that I probably wasn’t going to become a Wonderbolt or a weather pony or anything like that.

I forgive Mom for everything she did. She might not have loved me the same way I loved her, but we did have some good times. I liked going to the diner with her and having her help me with my homework. I remember her tucking me in at night once in a while and sometimes even making me cupcakes if I was extra-good.

Mom didn’t say goodbye to me before I left. That’s okay. She has her apple cider and her house. I hope she becomes happier someday, but I’m not going to visit her again.

I guess I should feel sad, but somehow I’m not sad at all. I feel relieved. Suddenly I’m not so anxious about the future. I feel like a door that’s been hanging open since I was a foal has finally closed itself.

I made myself some muffins before bed last night. They weren’t very good, but I didn’t care.

Dear Diary,

I’ve spent about a month doing odd jobs for bits. Its been interesting. I’ve gotten to meet a whole bunch of new ponies. There are a lot of weird ponies in this town, but that’s fine. They’re all really nice.

Great news! I won’t have to do odd jobs anymore. Or at least I hope I won’t. It’s fun and all, but it’s not very consistent and it definitely isn’t my destiny. Or is it? Maybe my cutie mark means I’m destined to help a lot of ponies by delivering messages and helping them carry luggage?

In any case, I found out that they’re hiring at the post office. Ponies keep quitting because they think it’s too boring or the workload is too much for them. Delivering mail and packages sounds fun to me. I’ll get to see the happy smiles on their faces when I show up with a letter from their loved one or a box of expensive imported oats. What could be better than making ponies smile? Plus I’ll get paid slightly more than I would have if I became a weather pony.

I’m going to visit the post office tomorrow. Wish me luck, Diary!

Dear Diary,

It turns out that becoming a mailmare is really easy. I didn’t have to demonstrate how good of a flier I was or pull off some complicated stunt. All I had to do was fill in the application and do a few small tests.

First I had to prove I could read a map. Unfortunately, I’m not too good at reading maps. I got confused about where everything was. Fortunately, I’m great at remembering addresses and names. I memorized the location of every place in Ponyville and who lived there a few days before I applied to become a mailmare. I got lost a few times, but I managed to get the packages and mail to the correct places almost exactly on time.

I thought my clumsiness would ruin my evaluation like it always does, but the mailpony evaluating me didn’t mind at all. I made sure to tell him about how absentminded I am and how I’m really not the most efficient pony. He said it doesn’t matter because I have “spunk”, whatever that means. I think he means I’m good at getting back up after I accidentally fly into a sign.

I’m starting my route next week. I can’t wait to show off the cool uniform I get to wear!

The only downside is that I accidentally filled out my application wrong. I got most of it right, but where I was supposed to write my full name I accidentally wrote “Muffins” because I was thinking of muffins again. Oh well. Mailponies don’t wear name tags, so this shouldn’t be too big of a problem.

I told Time Turner about everything and he said he’s proud of me. I can’t wait to tell Mr. and Mrs. Cake as well.

I’m so excited I probably won’t be able to sleep, but I’ll try.

Dear Diary,

I love being a mailpony so far. I’ve been doing it for weeks and every moment of it has been great. I’ve gotten yelled at a little for dropping packages and things like that, plus there have been a few small accidents. But overall, I love being a mailmare. It’s not exciting like being a Wonderbolt or a world famous chef, but that’s the best part. I don’t feel like I’m being pressured to be the best.

There’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot this week. I pass by the schoolhouse a lot. Every time I see it, I think about how lucky I was that I had ponies like Button Nose and Peaceful Skies in my life. If they hadn’t been there to take me in, who knows how badly things might have turned out. I’m grateful that ponies with such big hearts exist.

I’ve also been thinking about that colt who broke into Bon-Bon’s house all that time ago. I’m sure he’s fine now, but he was all alone in the world for so long. I can’t stand the thought of any pony being all alone.

I don’t know. I just feel bad for any young pony who has to wander Equestria alone because there’s nopony to care for them.

I wish there was something I could do.

Dear Diary,

A filly visited the post office today. She looked kind of like how I looked when I was a filly, except she’s a unicorn. One of the other mailponies told me that filly comes to the post office every few days and asks if there are any letters or packages from her parents. She always seems so sad when they tell her there aren’t.

Hopefully that filly’s parents write her a letter or something soon. I know how bad it feels when somepony you love doesn’t write you back. Back when I wrote letters to Mom and she ignored them, I kind of felt like she was mad at me for not being there.

That filly looked really thin. Maybe I’ll bake her some muffins.

Dear Diary,

So many things happened today. I want to fall into bed and sleep for a week because I’m so exhausted, but I might forget to write about them.

I was almost late for work today because I was baking muffins. I got so distracted that I forgot all about my mailmare duties. I had to grab my last batch and rush to work without even tasting them. I thought I’d get scolded as soon as I walked through the door, but nopony said anything. They all know how serious I am about muffins.

The filly was there. One of the mailponies told me her name is “Dinky”. She was sitting by herself looking sad. She was still there after I finished my mail route, so I went up to her and offered her a muffin. Then I asked her what was wrong. I don’t like to butt in, but sometimes ponies just need to talk.

Dinky told me all about her parents. She said they went away a long time ago on some really dangerous mission involving dragons. They promised to send her a letter and a care package every day, but they stopped after a week. Dinky said they probably got tired of sending letters to a boring filly like her while they were going on their cool adventures. I told her that wasn’t true at all. I said she’s not a boring filly and if I was her parent I’d be the happiest pony in Equestria. I meant it too! What I said put the biggest smile on her face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pony look so ecstatic.

I felt like I should tell her that her parents most likely weren’t coming back. I don’t know much about dragons, but I know they’re dangerous. Even some pegasi are too scared to face them because they’re so ruthless. I said all this to Dinky. I thought she’d start crying, but she took it surprisingly well. I guess she’s always kind of known her parents weren’t coming back. I feel sorry for her. At least I always knew Mom was there when I sent her letters. I never stopped to wonder if something bad might have happened to her.

It was around that time that I noticed how thin Dinky is. She looks a lot smaller than a filly her age should be. The way she gobbled up the muffin made me realize she probably hadn’t had a real meal in a long time. So I invited her to have dinner at my house. The poor thing agreed almost instantly. She also said the muffin was delicious! Isn’t that great? I think I’ve finally mastered the recipe!

Dinky is asleep on the couch right now. I don’t think she has anywhere to go. I asked her about where she lives and she couldn’t give me an answer. I’m not sure she’s even from Ponyville. She’s such a sweet little pony and really smart. It would be a shame if she ended up with no place to live and nopony to take care of her.

I’ll think about it more in the morning. I have to get up early to make Dinky breakfast before work.

Dear Diary,

This has been the best month of my life. I feel more sure of myself and my destiny than I have in a long time.

Most of it is thanks to Dinky. At first I was worried that she might not be happy with my busy work schedule, but she’s actually alright with it. She says that as long as I come home, she doesn’t care if I’m out all day delivering packages and mail. I started to cry when she told me that. I’m not sure why. Maybe it was the happy smile on her face when she said it. She’s looking a lot healthier now since she’s started getting regular meals. In a few days, she’ll be starting school with the other ponies her age.

I’ve been doing really well as a mailmare too! I only had two accidents (one dropped package and one missing letter) last week. The other mailponies are impressed. Even the ones who seemed a little grumpy about me are warming up to me. Maybe that’s because I keep bringing muffins for everypony.

Since I can’t be at home as much as I’d like to, Time Turner is helping me with Dinky. Once a week I drop Dinky off at his place and he teaches her about science. Last week Dinky accidentally turned her mane green with the new science kit Time Turner gave her. I should be mad, but I’m actually proud of her. If she decides to become a scientist, she’s going to be a great one!

I’m thinking of taking in another foal. In fact, I might take in a bunch of them. It’s going to be a lot of hard work, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I know what it’s like to feel lost and alone in the world. I didn’t realize it at the time, but Mom abandoned me way before I left her house to live with Peaceful Skies. I don’t want any other pony in Equestria to feel like I did back then.

That’s about it. There’s still a tiny bit of room left in this diary. I just had to write this because I’m excited about the future.

Dear Diary,

This is my last entry. It’s not just because there’s so little room left. It’s also because I think I’ve finally found my destiny.

It’s almost Hearth’s Warming. Dinky and the other ponies I took in are asleep downstairs. I have three of them now. One of them is this adorable little colt named Crackle Pop. I found him hanging around an old racing track where his parents abandoned him. He’s really into racing and carts. He looks a lot like me. Maybe we’re distantly related? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. Family or not, I’ll take care of him.

I’ve spent most of my time since the last entry thinking about destiny. When I was a filly, I thought I was destined to be a Wonderbolt like Mom wanted. Once I grew up and realized I wasn’t bound by what Mom wanted me to be, I was lost. That’s the tricky thing about destiny. It doesn’t always show itself to you when you need it most. I think I understand why I spent so many years unsure of what I was meant to do.

I’m not destined to be a mailmare, but I like being one and I’m not going to stop anytime in the near future. I’m not destined to take care of foals who are lost and alone, but it’s something I’ve committed myself to.

I don’t regret going to cooking school. I don’t feel like my time in Manehattan or Canterlot or even Cloudsdale was wasted. Why should I? I learned, I grew, and I became more aware of who I was. I don’t even entirely feel bad about the whole thing with Mom. Now that I’ve finally let go, it’s like my life has started all over again.

I’m not destined to be a Wonderbolt, a chef, or anything else. My destiny is just to be Derpy Hooves. Sure, I might save Equestria some day. But if I do, it won’t be because it’s my destiny. It’ll be because I’m Derpy Hooves, a wall-eyed pony who likes muffins and delivers mail.

I’m giving my diaries to Dinky as a Hearth’s Warming present. I’m a little nervous about what she’ll find out about me, but this is important. I want her to learn from the mistakes I’ve made. I want her to learn the same lessons I learned and hopefully become a better pony as a result. Dinky called me “Mom” yesterday. I want to be a better mother to her than my mother was to me. I think the first step towards that is letting her see where I came from.

Since I know you’re going to be reading this Dinky, here’s a message for you: I love you. You’re one of the best things to ever happen to me and I’m looking forward to sharing my life with you for as long as possible. I hope you grow up to be the kind of pony others can depend on.

Sincerely,

Derpy Hooves