Author's Notes:

Heyo, just another bonus chapter that I wanted to put out between the main attraction. Not to worry though, I'm getting to work on the next chapter, so we'll be back to your regularly scheduled snark of 'Conduit and Pals' in a little while. Enjoy, and feedback and criticisms are always welcome.

Proofread by, who else, That awesome guy named Regreme

“Next,” Sam said with a smirk.

The two other guards that were his sparring partners grumbled as they stumbled off the training field in front of the barracks. Sam stood victoriously as he awaited for the next few brave souls that thought that they could take him down. Though it seemed that watching match after match ending in the same way had really struck a chord with the once intrepid guards.

“Ah, come on,” Sam mockingly pouted, “You all aren’t doing that bad. Rally over there was at least able to land a few good hits. Would it help if I tied one of my hands behind my back?”

None of the guards encircling the training ring stepped up to the challenge. This actually made Sam a little disappointed. No matter which way he turned, they either averted their gaze or tried to make themselves look as small as possible.

“Perhaps it would be better if my subordinates didn’t act like a bunch of new born foals,” the ever scowling Aegis Flare called out as he eyed the two closest guards with icy intensity next to him.

Sam chuckled, “Ah, don’t be like that, Cappy. They are doing better than the last time.”

As always, Aegis Flare’s icy glare returned to the conduit whenever he made a comment such as that. Sam didn’t care though. He just snickered again and stretched a bit while he waited for the next match. These training sessions had been going on for the past few days. Or ever since the attack on the castle by the unknown assailants took place. Sam remembered the way that ol’ Cappy worded it when he requested/ordered his participation in these 'training exercises'.

“Human,” Aegis Flare said as he confronted the conduit right after his and Twilight’s research session, “It has come to my attention that my guards are woefully unequipped to deal with these new threats to the kingdom properly. Which is why I am acquisitioning you for the purposes of training exercises to combat these new forces. You will report to the guards’ barracks at zero-eight tomorrow to begin. This is not a request, and I have already sorted out the details with the princesses.”

“Don’t worry, Cappy,” Sam replied with a smirk, “I’ll be there. You could have just asked though. I would love to beat down-, I mean, help instruct your troops on the finer points of taking on a conduit.”

So here they were. Although the guards ponies were putting up some fairly decent fights for their own standards, Sam was disappointed to say that they were still seriously underprepared to take on a conduit for real. Most of their tactics consisted of letting the mages take the first strike with ranged magic. Already a bad move, since it seemed that both Sam and the assailants were magic resistant. They were also pretty weak when it came to physical attacks. Though that made sense, when you had a magic wand superglued to your forehead that let you solve most of your problems. Pegasi seemed to be trained in hit and run tactics. Or in this case, hit and ‘fly’. There was a lot of variation, but the underlying theme for most of it was to first get into position, swoop down for a few quick attacks, and then get back into the air and out of reach of counters. Again, fairly ineffective against conduits that would just use the reprieve to heal up and get ready for the next swoop. Earth ponies, although physically strong, were still at a disadvantage, at least for Sam. Though it did surprise him how well these creatures could wield a spear with just hooves. Yet, Sam’s abilities were definitely a hindrance to them, as his wires were more suited for grappling at closer ranges.

All in all, if Aegis Flare and the Equestrian Royal Guard wanted to take on a conduit, they were going to have to seriously rethink how they engaged one in combat. While Sam thought about all of this, it seemed that Aegis Flare was busy eyeing each of his subordinates and periodically glancing in Sam’s direction.

“Turbulence, Steel Gear,” he finally called out, “You two are up next.”

The two aforementioned ponies, a pegasus and earth pony respectively, both gulped nervously as they broke away from their fellow guards to enter the ring. The rhythmic clang of their armor was the only thing anyone could hear besides the few stray back and forths from the other guards. Apparently, they had taken a liking to betting on who would win in the matches. Sam was pleased to hear that his odds had grown significantly since the first day began, a hefty eight to one in his favor. Then, the guards gasped. Sam had to turn around to see what the commotion was about, and he too looked on in surprise.

It seemed that the illustrious Captain Aegis Flare had entered the ring along with the other two guardsponies. His golden and blue-highlighted armor gleamed in the morning sun. Although some of its battle damage was visible, it did not detract from the overall appearance. He wielded a training spear under his wing and flexed the wing to test the weapon’s weight. The captain motioned for his fellow guards to draw closer as he whispered something to each of them out of Sam’s earshot. Behind Sam, there were already talks of his odds jumping down five to six.

‘Sellouts.’

“Well, well,” Sam started off, “What an honor to be sparring with the almighty Aegis Flare. Tell me, Cappy, are you ready to rumble?”

The captain shot a warning glare in the conduit’s direction before rolling his joints a bit to warm up, “Do not get too cocky, human. Overconfidence is a dangerous hinderance.”

“Pfft,” Sam rolled his eyes, “Sure, sure. Just remember not to choke on those words after this.”

As both parties took their stances opposite of each other, they sized one another up to gauge who would be the first to attack. It was almost like a scene out of an old western film. All that was missing was Clint Eastwood in a poncho and a desperado hat. Though since he wasn’t around to complete the troupe, Sam took that roll upon himself.

“Draw, ya’ varmints,” Sam happily whispered under his breath with a smile.

Just like in an old western, Sam drew his hands up to look like finger pistols and fired off a few wire shots at the trio of guards. Cappy and his guards sidestepped the volley and spread out to either side of the conduit. It was surprising the pegasi did not take to the air immediately, but Sam wasn’t about to ponder such a small detail in the middle of a fight. Turning his gaze to the two guards, Turbulence and Steel Gear, Sam charged at them to further divide them up. Wire whips at the ready, Sam aimed for the middle of the two, which made the two break to either side. Just as planned. Though, just before he was about to break off and chase down Steel Gear, Sam caught a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye. Sam ducked just as Aegis Flare flew overtop of him, faux spearhead aimed where his head used to be.

“Woah,” Sam cheered, “A little more than just ‘a bit off the top’, don’t ya’ think, Cappy?”

Still zooming close to the ground, the guard captain pulled a one-eighty and charged back at the conduit. It seemed that Sam’s witty banter was still lost on the stoic captain, but not exactly a huge loss. Refocusing on the fight, Sam fell back to find the other two guards. They too were charging at him from different directions, so the conduit used a wire grapple to zip away to the other side of the training ring. However, it seemed that the captain was not going to let him catch his breath, as he was already careening toward him low to the ground like a pony-sized missile.

Sam threw both his arms out, and with them, multiple wires shot out to try and intercept the incoming captain. Aegis Flare saw this coming and pulled up to gain a height advantage. Sam followed his movements, but in doing so, forgot to watch for the other two guards. The first was Steel Gear, as he snuck under Sam’s guard and kicked out with his back hooves to throw the conduit off balance. Before he could retaliate against the retreating guard, Sam was blindsided by another swipe of Turbulence’s training sword to his back. Sam staggered as he pushed out a few flailing wires to hold the guards at bay. All around them, the other guards cheered for who they wanted to win, whether it be their fellow brothers-in-arms or the conduit himself.

Sam groaned as he touched the tender spot where he was kicked, “Damn, anyone hear of the phrase ‘kicks like a mule’?”

“Human!” the good captain called out from above, “I will not tolerate such bigoted comments. Donkeys are welcomed in all provinces of Equestria.”

“...wait, what?” Sam asked in confusion, “So, donkeys are sentient too? Great, now I’m probably gonna have to have a cultural sensitivity class after this.”

Sam was at least glad that the small break was long enough for his body to heal up the damage he had taken, but after such a long morning of training, he was running low on material, even with the small spools that he was given to refresh after a few bouts. While the captain stayed a fair distance away in the air, the two other guards got ready for another attack. Sam readied a few wire whips as the two charged at him. It was easy enough to pick off the earth pony, Steel Gear, as he was unable to avoid Sam’s low sweep with his wires. As the earth pony tumbled forward, Turbulence tried to distract the conduit with a flurry of hoof strikes. Sam shot out another grapple to the other side of the field once he was able to push the pegasus back with a few punches of his own.

However, as Sam sped across the field, a shadow loomed overhead to strike at him. Aegis Flare timed his strike to the conduit’s recoil on his grapple and dived to intercept him halfway through. Sam glanced up in surprise as the captain swooped down to attack him in the middle of his escape. He had to kick off the ground and to the side just to avoid the vicious divebomb in time. However, his escape did not leave him unscathed. Various cheers and boos rained down on the fight from the crowd. Some were even encouraging the conduit to get back up.

“What were you saying about choking on one’s own words, human?” the good captain called over the crowd.

Sam was surprised to hear his favorite captain make such a remark. What was even more surprising was when the conduit jumped back up to his feet, he actually saw a ghost of a smile on ol’ Cappy’s face for the first time ever. Well, it was more like a sneer, but it was the thought that counted.

Sam took a moment to catch his breath before retorting, “Lucky for you then, Cappy, that I know ‘the heimlich’, right?”

The good captain wasn’t exactly sure what the conduit meant and wrote it off as just another humanism. In the meantime, he signalled his fellow guards with a wave of his hoof. Sam readied himself as he saw this, periodically glancing between the captain high in the air and the two guards on the ground. Steel Gear looked to be putting a bit more weight on his left side, a clear indicator that Sam’s low sweep did a bit more damage than he originally thought. Turbulence was sticking close to his earth pony counterpart, more than likely to cover his bad side while they rushed forward. Sam fired off a few wire shots to hopefully break the two charging ponies up if they at least did not get hit. A couple of the shots connected, but the two did all they could to stick close together. As they came into Sam’s reach, he switched over to wire whips only to be bombarded by Cappy once more. The captain moved too fast for Sam to ensnare him with his wires, while the two other guards alternated below Sam’s guard whenever they could.

“Okay, new plan,” Sam muttered as he charged up a bunch of energy into his left hand.

While the conduit defended against what he could with his free hand, more and more energy and a bundle of wires poured into his left. Then, once he was ready, he chucked the bundled up clump of wire at the two guards on the ground with him. They easily dodged to either side of the ball, but Sam smirked as he yanked on the wire attached from his hand to the bundle and unleashing the heaping mass. Wires sprayed out in all directions and surrounded the two guards in a forest of the metal strands. Once the wires had spread out to their fullest, Sam yanked on the attached cord once more. Turbulence and Steel Gear did their best to avoid the tangle of metal, but there was just too many to dodge. Soon enough, the two guards were encased in what looked like a comically oversized yarn ball made of wires, flailing limbs sticking out of the mass included. Some of the surrounding guards got a good laugh out of the scene, but there was no time for the conduit to rest.

There was still one more opponent left, and he used almost all of his reserves on that last attack. If he had the time, he would have carefully untangled what he could from the clump of metal, but he would have had to be careful not to let the two guards escape at the same time. He at least smirked at the captain still in the sky, even while he panted from the loss of energy.

“So, Cappy,” Sam called out between deep breaths, “I guess it’s just a one on one now, seeing as backup is a little tied up at the moment! Or do you wanna just give up and save yourself some embarrassment?”

Sam thought the good captain should really put a trademark on that scowl of his. It was almost enough to make the wire conduit flinch, which was quite the achievement for just one facial expression. All the while, Aegis Flare circled overhead as he tried to come up with another plan to outmaneuver the snarky conduit. When all his plans in his head failed to meet a successful resolution, he was left with one last choice. Gripping his spear even tighter in preparation, Aegis Flare waited for the impatient conduit to make the first move.

Sam watched and slowly became bored with the captain’s lazy strategy. He thought that the good captain was simply trying to bore him into submission at this point. Even the surrounding guards were starting to get anxious from the stall in the match.

“Oh, Cappy~!” Sam tried taunting, “If you say you give up now, I promise to only gloat about it to Sunny and Loony for the next week or so!”

Captain Aegis Flare grit his teeth. He just had to hold out for a little longer, and then he may just possibly have a shot at taking the cocky conduit down a few pegs. Sam huffed at the failure of his taunt. He only had about a tenth of power left to effectively use, and he didn’t want to waste any of it on taking pot shots at the hovering captain. At last, Sam got tired of waiting and summoned up the last of his wires into a makeshift morning star. With a wire still attaching his arm to the wad of metal strands, he began to twirl it until it was nearly a blur. The spectating guards held their breath as they waited and watched to see what would happen next. Even the two guards that were trapped in the ball of wires tilted their heads as much as they could to watch the spectacle.

Just as it seemed that nothing else was going to happen, Sam broke the standoff by chucking the morning star up at the pegasus captain. He concentrated as hard as he could to push the heavy ball of wire up with his will at fierce speeds still attached to him by a wire that acted like a fishing line. Though with how much time that it took for the morning star to reach the captain, Aegis Flare was able to deftly pitch out of the way of the incoming projectile and dove down past it. He traveled alongside the outstretched wire as he dove straight for the conduit below.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Sam panicked as he tried to reel back the last of his wires that he expended.

The guard captain was going faster than ever. Angling his body and wings so much that the air whipped past him at a breakneck pace. The spear clutched in his hooves was pointed directly at the conduit’s center and was swiftly coming closer and closer to its target. With what little material Sam retrieved on his reel, he broke off the rest and prepared to block the incoming attack. The captain was mere seconds away, but he pulled another trick and let go of his spear so it continued on its way straight for the conduit while he pulled back for the second part of his plan.

With the spear being as narrow as it was, it easily passed through Sam’s makeshift defense and struck home near the center of his chest. It felt like an iron fist that hitched a ride on a freight train hit him and knocked the wind right out of the conduit. He was also sure that he might of heard a crack somewhere in there that did not come from the spear itself when it snapped in half. While Sam was trying not to double over from the pain, the good captain swiftly rocketed around to the conduit’s back and kicked him hard enough to send him to the ground, though not without one of Sam’s flailing wires latching onto his leg on the way down and dragging him along for the ride. Together, the two opponents tumbled to the ground. Muffled grunts and cries of pain issued from the both of them as the skidded along the dirt beneath them. The crowd held their breath again as they waited to see who would get up first.

Slowly but surely, both Sam and Captain Aegis Flare shakily stood up together, panting and breathing harshly. Neither of them made a move for each other. It was just another standoff. That is, until Sam put on a cheeky smirk.

“Alright, we’ll call it a draw,” Sam declared between shallow breaths

The good captain stood up a little straighter, “That’s fair enough. Everypony, this exercise is over! Return to your duties and make sure to clean this area up!”

An invigorated round of ‘Yes, sir!’s came from the crowd as they dispersed but still excitedly talked about the spectacle they just witnessed.

“Um, sir?” a familiar voice from the yarn ball of metal called out, “Turbulence and I can’t get out of this.”

The captain sighed but winced from the deep breath before turning to the human, who was busy making sure nothing was broken on him.

“Human. If you would be so kind?”

Sam looked over at the two helpless guards and got a mischievous grin on his face.

“Hmm,” Sam replied while he eyed the ball with a critical eye, “I don’t know, Cappy. I think this may be one of my better works. I think I’ll call it ‘Yarneggedon’.”

Sam was once again treated to the captain’s yet to be trademarked scowl and chuckled at his response.

“Just kidding. I’ll get them out in just a sec.”