Bon-bon goes to anger management

By: Wafflemuffin

Chapter 4. Sex, Lies and Ninjas

-Here we reach a pinnacle of madness of both sides of the sanity wall. May push a little too far in some points, but all for a perfectly good reason!-

Yes I'm Bon-bon, you know the drill!

I'm going to get that booze stinking, disgusting excuse of a mare once and for all!

I feel utterly humiliated, but I don't care if I'm the laughing stock of all of Equestria, I'm not going to let Berry get the last laugh!

“Looks like school’s out and all you heart breakers, party goers and general flank shakers are gettin’ ready for fridaaaaay NIGHT! Awww yeah!” A raspy voice cheered through the radios tuned into 109.1 Wub FM.

The voice belonged to a rising star within the rave and dance club communities of Equestria. Now her excitable love for wubs, bass, dubstep and general hoof jump worthy tunes could be shared every afternoon before her skills on the turntables would blast everypony’s ear drums later in the evenings.  

And DAMN right it was Friday, a day where many ponies would be walking out of work and unwinding already and expressing TCIF (Thank Celestia its Friday.) Young mares across Equestria prettied themselves up for the clubs, a date or both!

Stockings, make up, perhaps a nice dress, some just flaunted with what Celestia gave them, and they knew they could shake their plots.

“Alright! Let’s start up this sweet kickin’ flank party to make that sun set faster everypony!” The DJ yelled into her microphone, slamming her hooves onto her customized control panel, firing off the sound effects all at once!

“D-D-D-DJ PON- THREE- E- E-E”

“BASS CANNON!”

And of course the mandatory electrical explosion, all that faded into silence as the mare’s voice spoke up over her creative hoofsey work.

“Caller! You’re on the air what’s up, got a request?” The radio mare questioned impatiently.

“Uhh, yes I have a re-“ A nervous stallion’s voice was suddenly cut off with a sharp CLACK.

“OF COURSE YOU DO! And I know what it is!” She hollered with a slam of her hoof, hanging up on her fan/caller without any sign of remorse. “Now everypony! PONY ROCK!”

A song blasted and washed out any existence of the DJ, with a popular club dance song beginning with a heavy beat. Towns across Equestria shuffled and bounced in their homes with the ever-so-popular theme causing their hooves to jump up and down. These were days that could give Pinkie Pie a party overload and cause her to explode- more than usual. In fact it seemed like the whole town of Ponyville was eager to have a fun night, except of course a certain few that had their commitments prioritized higher than flank to flank smacking dancing and drinking.  

One pony for instance was the eloquent and beautiful lavender mare na-

Oh, hayseeds. Right, this is about somepony that’s heading towards the library!

Ahem.

As always, the interior of the library was neatly assorted, with a small stack of books piled here and there to be organized – only half of them actually being books that were recently returned. The lighting was perfectly dimmed to be comfortable on the eyes and provide easy reading, lounges and tables dusted and correctly placed… It seemed like a certain baby dragon’s hard work was giving the place quite a shine and reputable face, welcoming all ponies in town with a happy smile and most likely the book they’re looking for.

This was Twilight’s pride and joy, she had grown to love her home quite quickly and the added responsibility gave her a deep sense of accomplishment to help spread the wealth of knowledge. Her perfect, cozy home…

About to get really fucked up.

Let’s watch!

“Nope… “ A slurred mare’s voice grumbled, squinting her eyes at an open book that laid on the desk before her, “Still can’t read…” She continued on to say, rotating her head on different angles, as if somehow the words would bend to her will and become clearer.

“Everything alright, Berry?” The sweet and polite voice of Twilight sparkle interrupted Berry’s train of thought- well more like a rolling barrel down a lubricated bumpy road, but anyway.

“Ouh, wha? Yeah! Just yer books aren’t bein’ so friendly to me” Berry explained, with one eye threatening to bulge out the socket as it peered ever so closely to the text.

“Uhm… Berry?” Twilight’s tone became riddled with concern, “Are you-“

BANG

A rapping at the front door; hard enough to just set the door ajar from whatever it was that caused the impact. The stolen attention from Twilight stayed glued to her door for a few moments, but after nothing else came of it, she dismissed the disturbance.

“Well… That was weird.” Twilight commented, grimacing before she willed the door shut with her magic and trotted back towards the purple mare.

“Sorry about that, I think maybe the mailmare… Oh…” Twilight trailed off, seeing that the piece of literature in Berry’s possession had found a new purpose… as a pillow.

Back outside, Raindrops had her teeth clenched around a bubblegum tail belonging to the flailing Bon-bon. She caught glimpse of Bon-bon’s aggression, having stood on her hind legs to smash the dutch style doors in with her front hooves. She flapped her wings to keep pulling the resisting cream pony further away from the library, giving a strained and muffled yell, “What, is, your, problem!?” She demanded, finally spitting out Bon-bon’s bubblegum tail once she had won the tug-of-war by a good few yards.

“P-Problem?...” Bon-bon said in a low voice, desperately trying to convey her words like a sane pony, though she was far from convincing once her twitching head swiveled around like a lagging videogame character with a frozen twitch and much too wide grin. The twitchy display had Raindrops turn pale- or at least a lighter shade of yellow.

oh….. kay?

“My ‘problem’ is in there!” Bon-bon finally shouted, swinging her hooves in exasperation towards the library, “She’s been messing everything up for me since the day I ever moved to Ponyville! And on top of that, right now while I’m in this damned group therapy, she tries to poison me and my marefriend!” Bon-bon felt the gush of some relief to let those venting words out, giving quite a satisfied sigh at the end of her words, leaving a stunned Raindrops to blink a few times with her mouth agape and wide eyed.

“No way, out of all ponies in this town… her?” Raindrops said in disbelief, she rose a brow with her attention refocusing onto the library. The upbeat pegasi though was not quick to judge however, she has to be overexageratting… right? Maybe she’s got more problems than just ‘anger’ she thought, keeping face with a sincere and supporting smirk- a fake one.

The sight of a smile right now caused Bon-bon’s eye to twitch and snout to scrunch up. So insulting. Watching the yellow pegasi tuck her wings away and place a gentle hoof on her chin as she spoke thoughtfully, “Well, you know…” Raindrops started, humming to will her words together before she continued, “Doc makes us confront the one pony that makes our individual problems more stressful than it ever should be.” Raindrops explained, giving a tiny squee involuntarily that came with a brighter grin. Alas, Bon-bon could see right through this façade of a happy-go-lucky mare with half hearted support nudges.

The positive attitude was not aiding in Bon-bon’s current attitude; her frown was still wide, eye twitching and even a few strands of her hair had sprung and coiled in a messy fashion. She looked like hell, and her insides felt like they were boiling in a pot of hot soup filled with the nastiest essences and fluids known to ponykind.

How… just how the flying fff… can you stay so… Bon-bon’s thoughts trailed off, for in that exact moment she despised Raindrops, hated her even. Just the sound of her voice being so care free, having the gall to smile while knowing full well she had to attend a therapy class?! It was preposterous, idiotic! What would she know about… Well, who else did anyway?

I’m regretting this already…

“Raindrops… “ Bon-bon sighed, clear defeat trailing off her voice.

“Yeah, Bon?” She chirped, hoping she somehow got through to her assigned ‘buddy’ contemplating various ways to excuse herself and get away from this nervous wreck...

Bon-bon took a deep breath, the next words that left her were all the details of a certain mare’s meddling, flirting, obnoxious and heinous acts that made Bon-bon’s life just that little more cringe worthy.

All the way to the events of yesterday, each word that left Bon-bon’s mouth left a sour taste in her own mouth; just the act of having to recall these events caused a headache to flare up so tremendously that her eyes felt like they would melt out her skull. But soon after a few moments, she lost herself in a hysterical babble of words. Leaving Raindrops to dart her nervous shrunken irises left and right… Bon-bon was causing a scene, and she could not bring herself to do anything but listen to the now sobbing mare.

C-Crap… This is embarrassing, well awkward. Embarikward… Raindrops thought, feeling curious eyes violating her…

Mistakes is what helps a pony grow and learn, in this case Bon-bon should of realized that even when opening up to somepony else- regardless of what situation, some details should be left untold. Even if was just a slip of the tongue. Especially if the pony you’re talking to also has a problem with gossip. Bon-bon had no idea that even though her chest felt a bit lighter with venting her sorrows that weighed her down (plus a little cry) and caused her emotions to short circuit in a sense.

… Her words just lit a fuze, a very long fuze… And that fuze was coated in flammable oil since Raindrops now knew (unwillingly) that Bon-bon had a thing for ropes and whips.

By the end of Bon-bon’s semi-nervous breakdown, the sun had lowered to cast an orange glow, blanketing the town and giving way to the few stars starting to twinkle and become apparent. Raindrops had unfurled one of her yellow feathered wings, placing it around Bon-bon in a protective and comforting manner before guiding her towards one of the park benches. Her real motives though were just to get Bon-bon out of the public’s eye and to a more secluded spot, but hey, two birds with one stone. Guilt factor at zero! She mentally cheered.

But finally, Bon-bon’s wailing had come to an end. Sniffles, wiping tears away and all.

“I can’t believe it!” Raindrops exclaimed, her face still mildly flushed red when Bon-bon mentioned a certain sweet detail not moments prior to her finish. So, more unable to believe Lyra was that flexible…

“I know…” Bon-bon dug her hooves in her mane, shaking her head to some degree of mental exhaustion kicking her. She realized then that even with some adequate amount of sleep, it was broken sleep. The effects were causing a mild never-ending headache ring in her mushy, tired brain. Could go for something soft to eat now, anyway…

While the clench of her gut tugged at Bon-bon’s hunger responses, Raindrops was beaming with an idea that had been the result of a bubbling cauldron in her mind… Yes the cauldron that was stirred by a long loaf of bread! It would fool anypony that it was a baguette, but it was not nearly long enough. Stirring tools aside, the tiny little ingredients dropped in as they were named inside of the twisted mare’s mind, singing her dastardly tune…

Oh stockings so sick, rumors so rude~

A pinch of perversion and bag of bad news~

Dip your lips into my concoction, your eyes will blow in reaction! Rope me down and tell me lies, I swear to you I’ll nibble your sweet pie~

For there is no treat quite like your defeat, unless its two faces in my hind legs embraces~

Raindrops was moved and compelled to assist Bon-bon in any means possible, with passion! Her own therapy causing dramas had absolutely, positively nothing to do with her spontaneous decision.

Unless maybe a sex addiction...

“Don’t worry Bons!” Raindrop’s wing and foreleg wrapped tightly around Bon-bon, pointing out in a random direction towards the sky with her other hoof, “I’ll help you through and through, you can count of me! I’ll never let you down!” Maybe she came a bit too strong…

But even with the sudden breach of personal space and suffocating squeeze from the now eager pegasi, Bon-bon’s initial shock was overcome with utter joy.

“R-Really?” she hoped, bringing her front hooves closer to her chest and eyes grew big and soft in such a way that would even rival the cuteness of Ponyville’s resident animal keeper. Could this be what she has been yearning for? Could this be someone other than Lyra she could turn to!?

Friendship for Bon-bon was always so fickle. Of course there was Lyra, she could tell Lyra… most things, then there was Carrot top… poor Carrot top. A mental note was quickly sketched in Bon-bon’s hazy mind to check up on that expectant mother-to-be.

Raindrops hopped off the wooden assembly of wooden boards and curved steel, giving a casual yet hasty stretch of her hind legs and stiff wings all at once like a cat (with wings.) And much to Bon-bon’s surprise, it was her once reluctant yellow ‘buddy’ that was taking the initiative; booping Bon-bon’s mouth before she could even ask to what was about to happen.

“Fear not, Bon-bon. I know how to deal with this sort of matter”

No she didn’t

“It’ll be done quick and stress free”

Highly unlikely

“And we’ll all end up smiling and saying ‘gee thanks Raindrops! How can we ever repay you?”

Oh her hopeful mind already had something laid out…

Bon-bon’s heart fluttered with hope and an ease wavering through her body, her naivety could not comprehend the truth behind Raindrop’s rather spontaneous generosity. This yellow mare certainly had to have come from the heavens! I swear I’m going to bake her a whole tray of my specialties just for her! She thought, and nopony ever got a whole free tray of Bon-bon’s special, well, bon-bons except Lyra.

Ordering the cream earth pony with a wide grin, Raindrops instructed Bon-bon to stay put and wait as she would ‘start the first steps’ of this intervention, making Bon-bon’s life so much easier.

So she thought.

Within moments, Raindrops disappeared into the front door of the library, leaving Bon-bon to watch from afar across a portion of Ponyville square.

“This is it…” Bon-bon gasped, never expecting to come to a sort of conclusion much like this one. Would she get mad again? Could she refrain from an outburst that she could barely grip hold of? Her unnerving questions were enough to have Bon-bon’s hooves shake uncontrollably, playing out vivid scenarios inside her mind…

”I’m a horrible pony! I don’t deserve to live! Tell my filly I love her!” the mental image of Berry yelled melodramatically, before throwing herself over a well placed cliff with a high pitched scream… inside the library.  

The irrational thought racked at Bon-bon’s mind, but it was impossible, right?

”So is there anything you’d like to say to Bon-bon?” Raindrops asked gingerly, being the voice of honesty and compassion.

Berry’s gaze lifted from the ground, her eyes narrowed with a sour crumple of her expression, I didn’t try hard enough… she grumbled above a bubbling seethe , suddenly brandishing a large meat cleaver with a mirror sheen and Bon-bon’s face right in that reflection!

The new and wilder scenario had Bon-bon yelp as she exited the realm of her daydream, quickly glancing around to see a few ponies stopped in their trots to stare wide eyed before moving on. Seems like more and more each day, somepony loses their marbles.

Before another ridiculous scenario could be improvised by the little negative core that had been thriving inside of Bon-bon’s cranium, a sign of life finally emerged from the library doors in form of a yellow shape.

Rushing to her hooves, Bon-bon immediately moved towards the pegasi, beckoning her to approach the library from afar. This is it… she thought, feeling every little step of the way as if they were leaps over cliff edges. Her shakes were still just as bad as they were before but managed to pull her lips in a slanted smile.

Calm, Bonny, remember just to breath and if you start to get mad, breath… Bon-bon had drifted into momentary Zen, echoing her little self advice, breath over and over again to herself, preparing for the worst.

“Bon-bon?” Raindrops nudged, “We’re here.”

AAAHHHHH!!! Well it least it was a mental scream. Bon-bon’s irises narrowed to the size of tiny bit coins, unaware that she had trotted into the very middle of the library. She scolded her scatterbrained self, and started to breathe frantically in rapid, deep breaths through her nostrils, keeping her ‘calm’ toothy grin plastered across her face.  At least she followed her advice.

She registered the sudden change in scenery, but to her additional surprise, there was no sign of Berry or anypony else for that matter besides herself and her new winged friend.

Looking to Raindrops for some answers, a sudden set of hooves from the top of the staircase had Bon-bon’s words crash and pile-up under her tongue. Her heart thudded hard enough feel her throat swell, bullets of cold sweat followed straight after, Oh Celestia help me! Throw the sun! Do something! Just before her brain could melt down in hopes of a complete solar apocalypse, her eyes fluttered in a few surprised blinks.

“Uh…” Was all that peeped out from Bon-bon.

With a well composed and graceful stride down the wooden staircase, a purple mare made her way towards the two guests standing at the centre of the reading area. She offered a warm smile to both of the mares, focusing her attention primarily onto the cream pony. Her eyes becoming soft and once ice melting smile faltering just enough to pass as a frown, “Bon-bon is it?” She inquired politely.

“Y-Yes, but” Bon-bon stuttered, double taking between the owner of the library and Raindrops. The pegasi had a wide smile, feeling quite proud of herself.

“Please, sit with me. After what your friend here has told me, I really need to know just how in Equestria I managed to cause such events.” Twilight gestured over towards the sofas near the fireplace, leading the way. She was eager- no, desperate to know just what was going on. As a researcher for the magic of friendship, it was her solemn duty to resolve this sudden and enigmatic issue that had suddenly come to light.

Before the cream pony could protest any further, the head of Raindrops was pushing right up against the worrisome earth pony’s flanks.

“R-Raindrops! Hold on this is a big mist-“

“Come now Bon-bon, if you want to get ahead in life, you have to be strong” Raindrops was quick to dismiss her ‘friend’. She plopped her hooves onto the sofa once Bon-bon had reluctantly taken a seat across from the prodigy known as the element of magic. Who knew her sweet smile could also be… so intimidating.

The few seconds of silence as Twilight adjusted herself in a more comfortable position were the most tense seconds Bon-bon had felt in a while; like it was the job interview of the century or that she was waiting to stand before the judge… again! She pushed those thoughts towards the closet for her most regrettable memories, squeezing them into the tiny pit of darkness with a hefty buck of her hind legs just as Twilight started to speak.

“First of all, I’d like to say I was surprised about all this sudden information- I mean, really. I’ve never even met you formally other than maybe that one time sweet apple acres for cider season. I just could not let this down though… because the details were just so, hmm… you just can’t make that up.” Twilight spoke with the class and grace that of a noble, though with a casual taste that was common in Ponyville. There was much reason for this mare to be loved by her community. Bon-bon could feel that quite quickly, envied her even quicker.

Yes, well I suppose what you’ve heard does sound kind of… strange?” Bon-bon said with a nervous chuckle rolling off each one of her words. Oh just how was she going to get out of this awkward mess now? She had to speak up! Or else she’d be digging even a deeper grave!

“To tell you the truth” Twilight got to open her mouth first, “When I saw you around town a few times, you did sort of stand out from others.”

Bon-bon’s face flushed bright crimson, it was such a compliment, “Oh! Well… Thank you! But really I have to say-“

CRASH

Just when things were lighting up, the windows smashed in with two black figures leaping in. Two masked ponies, one pegasi with exposed cloudy grey wings and a hockey stick in their teeth and the other being a unicorn, standing upright with a katana in their hooves. The two of them brandished their weapons and stood between the seated mares.

“NINJAS!” Raindrops shrieked, flapping her wings to lift off and race for the front door. In a blink of an eye, her flank was struck by a hockey puck, derailing her off course and smashing head first into the unforgiving wall.

In the midst of the dismay, Bon-bon curled into a small ball, her eyes tearing up as she whimpered in the wake of the chaos.

The upright standing unicorn turned and held her blade out towards Twilight sparkle, causing the mare to back away as the pointed edge was merely inches away from her throat. “W-What do you want!?” She squeaked her words while she tried her best to keep calm.

The shimmer of the blade lifted skywards, glimmering in the light of the lanterns scattered across the library. The golden irises of the unicorn narrowed to a look of sheer determination to accomplish their objective. In the light of the shining blade, Twilight caught a glimpse of her own reflection before it vanished with a sharp swoop of the air…

_- A few hours earlier somewhere in Ponyville-_

A curious grey pegasi hovered over an abundance of shrubberies and green bushes, narrowing her wall eyes in confusion, “Did someone just call me?” she asked herself out loud, scrutinizing the leafy masses one last time before she shrugged and turned to fly off.

The sky suddenly turned to grey stone as her face slammed down onto the harsh ground; her tail had been caught by something below! She looked over her shoulder, seeing her tail had been taken by one of the bushes! In a panic, she started to wail and paw frantically at the ground, trying desperately to crawl away. Her efforts were for naught, being devoured by the leafy bush monster…

Poor Derpy cried and sobbed as she gave up her struggle, nestled in the confines of cruel leaves and merciless little branches, “Why! Why!? I was too young to be eaten! Who will feed my foals now!?”

“Derpy! Shut up!” Lyra snapped at the bawling pegasi, causing said pony to shriek to the surprise.

Derpy quickly blinked and swiveled her head left and right to the little bush fort that Lyra had made, a smile returning to her once scrunched muzzle, “Oh! Hi Lyra! I thought this bush came to life and ate me!” She giggled, “I was super scared!”

“Yes, tragic…” Lyra mumbled half heartedly, clearing her throat before she grabbed the wall eyed mare by her shoulders, “Listen Derpy, I don’t have a lot of time to explain, but I need your help!”

The crossed golden eyes of the mailmare had come merely inches apart from Lyra’s own yellow irises. However, they seemed off; the whites of her eyes were blue! At least now she didn't have the weirdest eyes in town.

She thought to ask about them, but that thought was overtaken by what Lyra was talking about, then onto muffins, then back to the question, then onto what to make for dinner tonight… then back to the question.

“Huh? What’s wrong? Did you lose something?” Derpy, oh innocent Derpy asked

“Worse!” Lyra proclaimed, now pressing her snout uncomfortably close to Derpy’s

“Uhh... You had an accident?...” Derpy tried again.

“Worse than that!” Lyra exclaimed once more, wrapping a foreleg around Derpy’s neck and lifting up to breach the top of her mobile bush transport. She pointed out to the sky towards the now setting sun with her free hoof, “Its coming…” she hissed, darting her vision around to spot any eavesdroppers.

Derpy gave a confused look-more so than usual, “What do you mean, ‘it’? If its something bad, won’t the elements of har-“ A hoof rammed into Derpy’s mouth to keep her from speaking further. She gave a muffled protest as she was thrown back into Lyra’s hidey bush, disappearing in a puff of leaves.

“Do not speak of the ones who shall not be named!” Lyra bared her teeth to the mare-handled pegasi in her grasp, staring the walled eyed one down until they started to glass over in fear. Lyra took her mint green hoof back, paying no mind to the slobber dripping off once her reluctant companion was silent, “What would you do… if you woke up one day and BAM! No apples at the markets, no food anywhere even!” Lyra spoke with trembling anger, waving the spit covered hoof around in the confined space for emphasis.

“That would be terrible!” Derpy gasped, bringing her own hooves up to her face. Now she was really listening.

“And think of the foals! Starving hungry foals that drag themselves across the streets! Helpless to malnutrition!” Lyra brought her forelegs together, cradling an invisible newborn in her grasp, “Dying in your hooves!”

“Dinky!” Derpy shrieked!

“Yes!” Lyra shouted, digging her hooves in her hair, finally managing to get this through to somepony- she already tried a few others… “All the crops, food, trees and even water reserves will disappear faster than any parasprite swarm or fire can cause!”

“What do we do!? Oh Celestia what do we do, Lyra?!” Derpy pleaded with tears returning to her eyes, huddled over and almost kneeling towards the sea green unicorn that sat upright on her haunches before her.

FWAP

Lyra’s hoof whipped around and slapped Derpy across her snout, leaving the crying Pegasi to whine and hold her nose, teary eyed. “I’m sorry Derpy…” Lyra said solemnly, but you were about to lose your mind like the others. You need to stay calm or else…”

“…Or else what?...” Derpy questioned with a tiny sob following in her breaths.

“OR ELSE YOU’LL BECOME LIKE THEM!!” Lyra coiled her foreleg around Derpy once more, leaping out of the bushes to stand in the middle of a semi crowded street of ponies in the midst of their daily hassles. Needless to say, pony traffic stopped dead in their tracks glancing to the bipedal standing pony with pegasi in her vice-like headlock, “Look at them Derpy! Can’t you see they’ve lost their way! Like shells! Empty shells about to be filled with a darkness!” Lyra preached and rambled out, not giving a buck who was turning and staring, many of which averted their gazes and did their best to ignore the mare’s doomsday words. All but Derpy.

Somehow, the combination of Lyra’s inebriated charisma and presentation had caused images of black shadows creeping around behind and around the bodies of Ponyville residents. Derpy was taken by these strange apparitions, haunting her, threatening her and the town’s livelihood.

She was now wrapped around Lyra’s hoof. The vivid image of Dinky not moving in her arms was far too heart wrenching to bear. Derpy had her maternal instincts triggered… combined with how gullible she was. my little muffin, momma will keep you safe, I swear! were her thoughts she would always stick by.

But one question slowly floated back to the winged pony’s mind, one that now had become difficult to ask, “But Lyra, why can’t we… you know? Ask the” She paused, scrunching up her muzzle “heroes?” she barely spoke above a whisper.

And made the same mistake twice.

With a growl, Lyra said “You ffff- NO! Don’t you get it…” She ended up seething, not lowering herself to pummel the recoiling pegasi to a pulp right there. “No, of course you don’t… “ She muttered, turning away to glare out the small opening within the wall of leaves.

“You see…” She continued, “I met somepony- well, more like something.” She shot a sharp look over her shoulder to the derp eyed mare, “A magical something.”

Derpy gasped, “Really?” her bloodshot eyes widened, still sniffling the remnants of her previous sob.

“Yes, really” She turned and scooted closer towards the town’s mailmare, folding her forelegs as she had begun to share her magical and forbidden knowledge…

The plains flourished in a strange aquamarine shine, perhaps the white sun upon the morning dew caused this strange discoloration. Then again, the prismatic waterfalls in the distance were another thing to be considered, as well as the tiny pony faces on each and every one of the dandelions around her hooves. Yes, faces, little happy faces that seemed to look up at Lyra in childish and cute manners.

Her eyes rolled in her skull in an attempt to refresh her sight, but to no avail… her world around her was as real as it could be. In place of winged avian creatures were books, flapping their hard covers to maintain flight and land carefully in their woven nests to tend to their tiny little book young.

“Am I dead? “ Lyra blurted, taking a seat on her haunches but quickly recoiling back onto her hooves. The tiny screams being crushed under her flanks, oh those poor daisy flowers! Before she could face the other tiny flowers that were mourning the death of their neighbours, a flash of bright light burst before Lyra’s eyes, blinding her and forcing to raise her hooves, for her eye lids were not enough to shield from this intense power.

A deep male voice drummed down to her, “Lyra Heartstrings…” The voice spoke with a heavy tone, soothing like that of a beloved grandfather yet brimming with enough authority to cause even mountains to tremble at their foundations. Lyra parted her hooves to peer between them, struck with awe as a floating rectangular inanimate object was (somehow) staring right down to her.

“Hmm, yes” The large floating shape acknowledged her presence, mumbling a few incoherent words as it neared closer to scrutinize the unicorn, “Thought it was you…” it finally said with a drawled tone.

“Sophie?” Lyra called, recognizing the peach colored felt and food stains that littered across the elevated arm rests of the two pony sized piece of lounge room furniture.

…Not to mention the peculiar indentation of the right seat. Where her flank would park itself for hours…

The floating sofa- her sofa gasped, insulted, “Do not dare use that pet name!” the floating couch stammered, huffing to recompose itself. It only caused Lyra’s eyes to widen further with a drooping frown of upmost perplexity.

“I knew it! But… why are you floating? Shouldn’t you be at home waiting for me to sit on you?” Her question came with a lightning quick answer; a cushion levitating and whapping her across her snout.

“Hey!” She yelled, rubbing a hoof against her cheek… she really needed to wash that couch.

“The time of sitting upon mine bosom is at an end, heartstrings! For I have come to deliver onto you, the message and details of your TRUE destiny!” The godly voice of the floating furniture came with a burst of wind, that pushed the nearby blades of grass and a few little screaming flowers out and off into the distance.

“Destiny?” Lyra repeated, “I already know my destiny!” She protested, gesturing to her cutie mark for one, and thinking about those …sexy fingers…

“And it’s a bunch of horseshit!” Roared the floating, cushy messenger.

“What do you know? You’re just a couch!” Lyra retorted, lowering her stance to an aggressive angle, much like an angered canine.

A sudden beam of light shot forth from the couch’s cushions, enveloping a squealing Lyra in a sphere, causing her to float and forcefully place her haunches onto the seats. “I am not just your every day furniture Lyra… I am the one and only, Mr.Destiny!” He proudly proclaimed, “The nudist messenger from Ecouchtria!”

“Nudist?...” Lyra’s struggles came to a sudden halt, her cheeks flushing in a slight crimson and now suddenly feeling… dirty.

“Yes, well it’s hard to find clothes my size” He quickly blurted, before taking to the skies at a blinding speed. The sky was far from the regular blue with a cloud here and there, oh no. The skies quickly turned black, to violet then onto a warp speed like array of mismatched colors and shapes. The roaring wind of this insane speed travel completely blocked out Lyra’s screams the whole way, feeling her pupils melt to such a scary display of the intense spectral display.

“And then what happened!?” Derpy practically begged, flailing her hooves in front of herself like an eager filly on Hearthwarming eve.

Lyra parted her lips to continue her story, but the orange rays of sunlight that were now piercing through the small gaps between the leaves, snatched at her attention, “Damn… I’ve wasted enough time already, come on!” With a whip of her foreleg, Lyra grabbed the grey mare and tossed her back out onto the streets, yelping as she was mare-handled again.

“Where are we going?” asked Derpy, being dragged by her wing towards a nearby alleyway.  

“Your place… Because right now we need to gear up.

Lyra cursed under her breath as the blinding orange rays of the sun reminded her of how disorganized her recruitment was for her new found ally; so much time wasted! Then again, it had to be worth it, right? Derpy could be… reliable?

A destroyed cabbage cart later, the two had arrived to Derpy’s quaint little residence. The front door to her cozy home was larger than ordinary carved doors; larger and with the hinges fitted with strong springs that were designed to fling the door open. With the aid of a few friends in town, her daughter Dinky had managed to come up with this design, linking the door mechanism to her mother’s alarm clock.

Since then, they never had to buy any new front doors and it saved a lot on doctor bills for facial injuries. Though, Derpy was still constantly late to work…

Lyra invited herself in, quick to investigate the kitchen and living room of the mare’s home as if searching for a ticking time bomb. Beads of sweat trickled down her face, her irises shrinking and giving a more morbid view of her night-sky blue eyeballs. She was becoming more unstable by the second, every second was racking at her brain, understandable since –to her beliefs- doomsday was about to hit.  

“My daughter should be playing with her friends until sundown since its pretty much the weekend now” Derpy explained with a content smile, unfazed by Lyra’s prodding of every nook and cranny.

Lyra was busy muttering to herself, too zoned out to even register Derpy’s words as she hopped from different pieces of furniture. She willed her magic to throw around some cushions and uplift drapes, scrutinizing her surroundings with some disbelief, “We need weapons…” She finally said clearly.

“Oh! I think I have something!” Derpy chirped, giggling to herself as she took flight down towards the corridor, disappearing into her daughter’s room, Lyra tagging along like a parasprite stuck to a cake… No, Lyra still to this day never let that go.

The grey mare had dunked her head into a large, aged toy box, pulling from its contents a hockey stick. She looked over her shoulder in hopes of some approval from her comrade and glorious leader.

Lyra clapped her hooves together, a wide and sinister grin shined in the middle of the dimly lit bedroom, “Perfect… what else?” she hissed, feeling her mouth water.

Not wanting to displease Lyra in the midst of her elevating mood, Derpy set aside her sporty stick and pulled a grey length from the toy box, “thish!” She said whilst clenching the handle of the dark sword in her mouth.

A gasp escaped from Lyra, dashing forward to knock Derpy onto her haunches, snatching the blade away to hold in her hooves. Her beaming expression quickly fell as the light and spongy texture became apparent to her.

“Foam?...” Lyra muttered, shooting an unamused glare down to the other mare.

“Yeah! Dinky and I use it when we play the ninja game” Derpy giggled nervously, rubbing the back of her neck. Her eyes snapped to the ground, feeling she was about to be yelled at again or worse, but instead there was silence. Forcing her eyes upwards, she asked “Lyra? Something wrong?”

Lyra’s cheeks were rounded to the widest smile she’d had since the Seapony show marathon.

-_Present time, Twilight’s library_-

The shining blade ascended overhead the unknown assassin pony, swinging true down to the head of Twilight’s head with deft accuracy; between the eyes.

POMF

It bounced off her head.

“What the hell! You said the spray-can would make it real!” The sword brandishing assailant yelled over to her comrade, tossing the fake, wiffle katana over to the hockey mare.

The other assailant ducked with a yelp, dropping her hockey stick in the process to reply, “Wah! No! I said it would make it look real!”

With the ninjas distracted, Twilight took the initiative. Her horn glowed in a powerful aura of unrivaled magic, firing off a strong kinetic blast that sent both attackers flying across the library and smash into one of the wide bookcases. Papers and various tomes hit the ground along with the would-be assassins. It looked as if that alone was enough to be decisive, but before Bon-bon or Twilight could approach the incapacitated duo, a heavy object suddenly flung towards them! *

A magical wall formed just in the nick of time to deflect the oncoming book shurikens. Bon-bon was quick to hide behind the lavender element of harmony, fearing for her life as the other mares challenged the might of Twilight’s magical shield. Without warning, or any regards for their safety, the other unicorn leapt and smashed head first into the shield, glaring at her target once her two hind hooves had planted onto the wooden floor. The veil of magic was all that separated them, growling like rabid tigers about to face off.

Nearing her breaking point however, Bon-bon finally wailed her frightful words towards the masked mare, “Why are you doing this?!”

The assassin’s one track mind had broken from its train of thought, spotting the beige mare that snuggledso close to her lavender guardian. Not a good sight for an already impaired unicorn…

“Traitor!” The unicorn pointed and accused, tearing off her black mask to reveal her true identity to all that stood in the middle of the library.

Twilight, Bon-bon and even Raindrops who had just poked her head over from one of the lounges gasped in unison, “Lyra!?”

…Derpy felt the need to join in after glancing around to the other’s reactions, gasping as well, “Lyra?!”

Bon-bon parted away from twilight, dashing up to the defensive wall and press her hooves against the transparent shield, “Y-you should be in the hospital!” She stammered, “Why are you tr-“Her voice caught in her throat, noticing now the strange, blue discoloration of her lover’s eyes. A mental image of the same sort of blue, bottled up and on their kitchen table already helped to connect the dots inside her frazzled mind. “Oh no… “ she breathed the words.

“Oh yes!” Lyra interjected, “Looks like in the process of removing my prime target, I also found out my once oh-so pure marefriend, is in fact a two timing whore!” Lyra spat the words out in disgust, her altered state of mind unable to fathom to what she had just said and done.

Betrayal, pain and an icy cold sensation trembled through Bon-bon’s heart. Her vision quickly became blurred with her tears forming and falling to the hardwood below her hooves. Worse the shards of glass the pain felt, digging deep into her chest, with the weight of the world pressing down on her shoulders like a cold blanket draping over her body. Twilight herself managed to have her cheeks turn a shade of deeper purple.

Lyra had never, ever abused Bon-bon or insulted her the whole time they had known each other. And to be accused of such an act, after all her loyalty, her dedication and efforts to make her mint green lover happy… all of it tarnished.

The cruelties of Lyra’s actions were picked up by the lavender unicorn and the two other pegasi, shocked to what they had just heard; this was not Lyra at all… And everypony knew of the eccentric mare with the obsession of bipedal creatures and odd technologies. Her and Bon-bon were inseparable, and to see this? To watch Lyra grin fiendishly as Bon-bon backed away from her- no, she wasn’t the Lyra she knew…

“Are you seriously trying to kill me, because you think Bon-bon is cheating on you with me!?” Twilight shrieked and almost bounced off her hooves, cheeks becoming a deeper shade of scarlet.

“Shut your mouth, magic girl! I came here to kill you, and killing you is what I’m gonna do!” Lyra completely shoved aside Bon-bon from her thoughts, leaving the beige mare to stare, heartbroken.

“Hey that rhymes!” Derpy added with a silly giggle, just as she was tackled down by Raindrops with a loud “OOF”

The yellow pegasi pinned down the wall eyed assassin, tearing off her black mask with her teeth. It was another gasp fest from all parties, her co-worker of all mares!

“Derpy! How could you?!” Raindrops followed the same routine on the next de-masking.

“Alright! We get it already, it’s getting old!” Lyra snapped back over her shoulder to the two wrestling pegasi, focusing her attention back onto Twilight. Only now was Lyra starting to focus her own magi, stabbing the tip of her glowing horn as far as she could-like half an inch, into the thick magical wall that practically divided the room.

No doubt a dramatic organ in the tune of an old soap opera would cue here, a horrifying scene of betrayal and secrets unveiled! Has Lyra really lost herself truly into the evil liquid that has devoured her soul? Can Bon-bon somehow get her to be back to herself?! Will Twilight be acquitted if she kills somepony in self defense!? Will Raindrops and Derpy suddenly make out in the midst of their wrestling?! Is that Berry punch on top of the staircase with a crossbow!?

“Stand back! I have no idea what I’m doing!” announced the slurring mare with the olden time tool of war in her hooves. She stuck her tongue out across her cheek, aiming carefully- or something that would pass as ‘steady’ in terms of her. The sudden appearance stopped both of the clashes down bellow.

“BERRY?!” Bon-bon screamed, oh how she was pissed now…

A moment of truth…

The tensioned string flung forward and fired the loaded arrow out from its dock. Time slowed down, Twilight’s reflexes were first to kick in. She let go of the mental hold of the shield to aim her horn towards the oncoming arrow.

Lyra’s horn glowed stronger, with a small formation of a minty green aura extending out to form a small magical blade, lunging for Twilight’s neck.

The two Pegasi could do nothing but watch with wide, panicked eyes.

A cream colored hoof rose from underneath, Bon-bon swung her right hoof upwards in a menacing uppercut. It struck squarely up Lyra’s jaw, derailing her fatal trajectory by mere inches.

Twilight’s horn glowed, her eyes closed tightly to form a quick burst of magic to form.

“Ommff!?”

Lyra’s lips had completely enveloped the lavender unicorn’s horn, as far as to have her lips pressing against the base of the magical appendage- an impressive show of no gag reflex one would say.  Twilight’s eyes crossed with a droopy smile as ecstasy struck her like a jolt of electricity, moaning just as the magic exploded inside of Lyra’s mouth. But the magical money shot was not limited to the confines of Lyra's lips, oh no.

Outside, the residents of Ponyville would witness a spectacle of magical intensity flaring from within the library. Like a massive strobe light, the library flashed a multitude of bright lights from each and every window. It startled many, but soon all onlookers made the conclusion that a sort of celebration must of been in progress.

Berry had finally opened her slightly cocked eyes, finding that all that remained within the library… was herself. Well that and a few weird drops of moisture on the hardwood floor plus the arrow that had lodged itself where the three mares once stood.

“Well… shit?” Berry shrugged, tossing the crossbow aside and cantering over to Twilight’s kitchen, thirsty as always...

The five other mares, were gone!

Author's notes: I think this is one of my favourite chapters! Comments welcome and adored! Remember, I'm still new! Pointers would be good too.

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