Letting a roommate cook is never a good idea. I've made enough disastrous attempts to know, so whenever I wake up to a huge breakfast—or lunch in this case—I know that either something bad has happened or is about to. In the case of Spike, I could never tell which if the two it was.

"I think we're out of grapefruit!" Spike shouted from the kitchen.

Grapefruit. He was the only one into that stuff. Strange, keeping in mind how much equines loved their sugar. A few years after the portal was established I would joke that all one needed was a bag of sugar to conquer Equestria. Apparently, that wasn't far from the truth. I actually knew someone who had gotten a unicorn to talk to him by offering her doughnuts after class. Last I heard they were still penpals.

"Let me get the toast done and I'll be right there." The sound of drawers slamming and utensils crashing mixed with Spike's shout. Of everyone I knew the dragon was the only one who actually managed to slam a drawer. "Want some muffins? I can make some muffins."

I looked at the food. It covered the entirety of the table, continuing all over the desk, and down to part of the floor. Even drunk there was no way I was eating all this in one day.

"Spike, it's okay." I sighed. "For the fifth time, it's fine. Things happen. No big deal." No need to mention that his stunt all but guaranteed my failing tomorrow's test. "Chill."

"Nah, I'm baking some muffins." He ignored me completely. I'm not sure if it was because of the way he was raised, but Spike was more stubborn than a mule. "You dig in, I'll be with you in a sec."

I covered my face with both hands. I really didn't want any food right now. Also, Spike hadn't gotten the hang of Earth cooking. This wasn't the first time he had cooked. The guy actually adored cooking... when he wasn't partying or going about campus. The problem was that he tended to add cinnamon and sugar to everything. Memories of the cinnamon pineapple steak haunted me to this very day. The worst part—he had helpfully waited until I had taken a bite before mentioning the fact.

"Jen told me you were breaking up," he said from the kitchen. I froze. Wow, Jen! You told Spike before me? The dragon's words felt like a kick in the gut. "You don't think you could—"

"Drop it." This was one thing I didn't want to talk about. "What's done is done. There's no fixing it."

The sound of clanking dishes was the only answer from the kitchen. Spike didn't seem to be taking it well.

"Such things happen all the time," I began. "Some people just aren't meant to be together."

This was so awkward that it was stupid. I was trying to cheer Spike up, because he was upset that I had been dumped? My parents had been right all along: this was a crazy world we lived in. My eyes wandered off to the stack of pancakes nearby. Spike had made enough to feed an army. I reached out and grabbed one with my fingers.

"Isn't the first time it’s happened." I bit into the pancake. It tasted of mustard and caramelized salt. "Just don't let it get to you. It's part of life."

"It's not part of life in Equestria," he said in a sober voice. The oven timer started beeping. That probably meant the muffins were ready. Spike didn't bother fetching them. Instead, the dragon entered the dorm area and sat on his bed across from me. There he remained silent, staring at me with his strange green eyes.

I continued eating my pancake. Damn dragon eyes. I no longer knew what made me feel worse: the thought of Jen dumping me or seeing how sad it made Spike. An eerie quiet filled the room. I reached for my magic book and opened to a random page, pretending I was catching up on some studying.

"Sorry I ripped your shirt." Spike broke the silence. "I'll get you a new one."

"Don't worry about it." Damn it. I had no idea what to say. "You excited for Star Wars: Bounty?" I changed the subject. "Tomatoes says there will be an equine force wielder."

That was an outright lie. To this day Hollywood, and most of the most the television networks, kept equines from getting large roles. The only exception was the UN ambassador Princess Luna; but then again who wouldn't want a semi-omnipotent princess who had the power to magically change her appearance? J.J. Abrams had openly mentioned he'd love for her to at least have a cameo role in his latest movie.

"I thought my love life was wonky," Spike sighed. The mention of his favourite franchise had no effect whatsoever. "Did I tell you the crush I had as a kid?"

To be honest he hadn't. He did mention having an ex, though—a matter I had chosen not to pursue further. Putting on the best smile I could manage I shook my head.

"When I was a whelp, Twi got an important job close to the capital," he began. His voice was almost as deep as that of a movie narrator. "A one day thing in some small village. There I met her," he sighed again.

I had no idea what to say. In his attempts to help me, Spike was making all this far too weird.

"Rarity," he leaned back, looking at the tapestry of the unicorn on the wall. "She was something. Still is..."

"She broke up with you?" I asked on instinct. The question made me think of Jen. It still felt strange that we had broken up. We had been avoiding each other for days, more. Twice I had almost phoned her to say we can't keep going on like this. And now that it had happened I felt strange, as if I was forgetting something.

"No." The dragon smiled, tapping the edge of the tapestry with his hand. "She never reciprocated. At the time I was upset she didn't acknowledge my feelings. Turned out she was sparing them all along. Crushes, eh? Can never forget them, no matter how much they sting."

"Yep." I took a sandwich from the table. Sharing breakup takes with a dragon. Who would have guessed. "You really know how to make someone feel like shit, don't you?" I let out a dry laugh.

"Yep." He grabbed an energy drink from the floor and gulped it down in one go. Weren't we pathetic? Two losers in a dorm bedroom pretty much covered in food. The RA was going to be pissed. "You ready for your magic exam?" He looked at me.

"Nope." I looked around for a can of beer. The only thing I could see were a few Monster drinks and an open carton of orange juice. "You?"

"Haven't even started," Spike laughed, throwing the empty can in the general direction of the kitchen. He then grabbed two new cans and tossed me one. "To breakups and exams." The dragon opened his and raised it in the air.

"To breakups and exams." I followed suit. Some things never changed regardless of species.