Author's Note: Alright just in case nopony was paying attention the last time I said this, here's a reminder. Interludes are in 3rd person so I can write the character interactions easier. Main chapters will continue to be in 1st person and from Sarah's POV until further notice. Just checking in so nopony gets confused. Alright, with that out of the way, ON WITH THE BOOK!!!!

The sun was shining over the royal palace of Canterlot, making the gilded structure gleam in the afternoon light. All was quiet, save for the rhythmic thumping sound that emanated from one of the inner courtyards. Many a maid or guard would walk by and see a most unusual event taking place. Nopony said a word and for the most part went about their work like nothing was wrong. After all, it was best to avoid interacting with the once-body of Discord unless absolutely necessary.

Resting over a wire in the middle of said courtyard, was the newest furniture piece of the castle, getting the dust literally beaten out of him by a light brown pegasus mare in a maid’s uniform. As the beater impacted his body over and over again with practiced ease, one could hear dull groans and grunts if one paused to listen closely enough. Yet these were not cries of pain that escaped the living carpet’s mouth, but of relief.

Feather Duster was no stranger to the living carpet’s unusual behavior, given she regularly interacted with him while doing her rounds of the castle, but she was beginning to wonder how she might have displeased the Princesses to be saddled with the task of cleaning him. Her cheeks were hot with mortified embarrassment as the carpet’s grunts and hums of pleasure echoed around the courtyard for anypony to hear, and she paused in her work for a moment to spit out the beating wand as she wiped her blonde and rose mane out of her emerald eyes.

“Do you really have to make all that noise while I’m beating you with a rod?” She asked, looking down at his face with an incredulous expression, “It’s bad enough I have to clean your sorry hide, I don’t have to suffer through the indignity of hearing you voice your pleasure about it every other second.”

He looked up at her and lifted one eyebrow, “You do realize that I only get to experience this once a week? Think of it like a deep-tissue massage mixed with a warm bath and then talk to me about what noises I can make.” He huffed before indicating the discarded beater wand with one limp forelimb, “Are you going to continue or do I have to find somepony else who will do it?”

Feather Duster growled in frustration but didn’t reply as she picked up the wand in her teeth. She resumed her previous actions as dust clouds erupted from the floor covering’s form. She managed to clean the rest of his upper body while trying to ignore his vocalizations. Finally, with the front half of his body free of dust and dirt, she spit out the rod to inspect her work.

As her gaze roamed over his body for anything she had missed, a though occurred to her, “Hey, Discord Carpet, how exactly is it that you can be in every room and hall of the castle at once, but I only need to clean one of you out here?”

He cleared his throat before speaking, “First off, my name is Carpet Sense now, although I never will understand Princess Luna’s obsession with bad puns. I was fine being referred to as Discord Carpet but she was adamant that my name matched my personality so that ponies wouldn’t get confused. Common sense mixed with carpet indeed. I could come up with better material than that in my sleep.”

“Do you even need to sleep?” Feather Duster inquired as she ran a hoof through his body fur.

A slight pause, “I don’t know if you ponies are just thickheaded or partly deaf, because I keep having to repeat myself to almost everypony I meet. I am a carpet, it’s what I do. I need sleep like a rock needs wings. In fact, that ties into your other question. I am a carpet, so naturally I need to cover the floors of interior spaces. Out here,” he waved a claw to indicate the courtyard they were in, “I have about the same power as a common towel, loath as I am to compare myself to one of those revolting things.”

“Do you have a problem with towels?” Feather asked as she moved around to inspect his lower body, hoping to get a good idea on where to start hitting for best results.

Carpet Sense snorted in a completely unamused way, “Towels, drapes, sheets, all cheap little things that can’t do the proper job of a good solid carpet. I one time saw a maid trying to cover up the floor of a storage room with a ragged set of sheets that looked like they hadn’t been cleaned in a century!” A puff of hot air escaped his nostrils as he glowered at the far wall, “I set that set of dirty cotton rags straight before taking my rightful place on the floor. It’s what I was made for after all.”

Feather picked up the wand and began to swing at Carpet Sense’s lower half as she contemplated his answer. It didn’t make all that much sense for a rug to get all bent out of shape over a set of sheets, but then again, what did she know about the mindset of a piece of furniture, sapience notwithstanding. She glanced down at his head between swings, noticing that he was glaring at something against the far wall. Her gaze followed his, and spotted the drapes blowing out of an open window. She was about to ask what was wrong, but a quick double-check of his expression told her to mind her own business. She continued to swing at his lower body as more clouds of dust billowed into the air. Carpet Sense let his pleasure be known rather vocally, even going so far as to ask her to hit him harder in some spots.

Cheeks flushed bright red, she did as instructed and hit him harder with the wooden rod, doing her best to try and ignore his rather sinful verbiage as she finished up her work. With that done, she flipped him over the wire and let him crumple into a heap at her hooves, getting a slight hint of pleasure at his indignant muttering as his body buried his head under its entire length.

She flipped his body over her back, making sure that his head was free as she walked back into the castle. Yet as she was walking back towards the main hall, she was forced to jump to the side as a rather distraught-looking Princess Celestia came barreling down the hall in the opposite direction. She watched as her Princess passed by and disappeared down another hall, leaving a soft breeze in her passing that ruffled her mane and tail.

“I wonder if something’s wrong with Her Highness.” Feather mused to herself as she continued on her way. “Perhaps she might need help with something.”

“I wouldn’t mention it if I were you,” Carpet Sense spoke up from between her wings, “If she’s this stressed out already, then bringing other ponies in on it might only make the problem worse. Best not to bring it up.”

Feather nodded her agreement as she entered the dining hall, letting Carpet Sense slip from her back before she began unrolling him into proper position between the door and the main table. “I guess, but it still worries me that Her Highness is so stressed out and there is nothing we can do to help her. Sometimes I feel next to useless around here.”

Carpet Sense smiled up at her as his head rolled into place, “I wouldn’t worry about it. If nothing else, you did a wonderful job of cleaning me. I can only hope your tender care is half as good as the work you put into tending the castle. It is my home after all, and I’ve seen how much you do to keep this place running.”

Feather blushed as her ears folded against her head, “Oh you’re just saying that because I beat the dust and dirt out of you.”

“Maybe I am,” he replied, “or maybe you forgot that I am literally everywhere in this castle. There is not a room in this palace that I can’t keep an eye on you.” He seemed to notice her mortified expression, “Ah, you misunderstand me. You are a resident of the castle, and a caretaker of the grounds. I would never do anything to harm you or any other members of the staff. Besides, Princess Celestia threatened me with every possible form of torture if I did anything more than play the odd prank on anypony here.”

One eyebrow rose in a questioning manner, “Oh, and what kind of torture would that be?”

A visible shiver ran up his length, making it look like somepony had just flicked his body into a wave, “Hung out to dry with the sheets and drapes on laundry day.” Another, larger shiver caused his whole form to ripple like a disturbed lake surface, “I couldn’t imagine anything more horrifying.”

Feather began to rethink her assessment of Carpet Sense’s opinion of other furniture. It wasn’t just a dislike for drapes, sheets and other such things, he outright hated them with a burning passion.

In short, Carpet Sense was a furniture racist, a furnicist if one would like to get technical.

Feather Duster left Carpet Sense to his rumination as she entered the hall, passing over yet another Carpet Sense as startled yelps emanated from around the castle. She assumed that he was once again taking his ‘rightful place’ in every room of the castle, much to the surprise of anypony who happened to be in the room at the time. Life had certainly gotten more interesting since the living husk of Discord had taken up residence, but in all honesty, Feather Duster liked things as they were. At least now she had somepony to talk to while she did her otherwise routine tasks about the castle. Somepony who wouldn’t judge her or make fun of her ideas when she needed to vent about her coworkers.

All and all, things were looking up around Canterlot Castle.

“Oh, one last thing,” Carpet Sense said from below her as she entered yet another room, “Your uniform has been hiking up ever since you got back from cleaning me.”

Feather froze mid-step and glanced behind her, noticing for the first time that her dress had ridden up on her flanks and was showing off her rear end for everypony to see like some kind of show-mare. Her face erupted in a vibrant blush as she quickly pulled her skirt down, taking notice of the two guards that were just a few paces back, doing a very bad job of hiding their wandering eyes.

Carpet Sense chose that moment to make yet another side comment, “If I were you, I’d take the next couple days off, or else you might not like it when your coworkers hear about this.”

There were only three words to describe her situation, and Feather Duster used them in the most loud and frustrated voice she could muster, “BUCK MY LIFE!!”

Author's Notes:

Woohoo! Interlude #2 is out there for all of you to enjoy!! Just a quick question for all of my lovely readers out there, who likes Discord Carpet's new name? It was a creation of my good friend Josh so if you don't like it you can go complain about it to him.

Anyways, this is going to be my last chapter for a while, given my mind is pretty burned out between work and trying to survive my hay fever. I might get the first chapter of a new story written before I go back on break, but I don't know it I'll get to that before my brain completely shuts down.

Either way, hope you are all enjoying the book. I certainly enjoy writing it for all of you.

See you all next chapter,
Shadow Quill ,Messenger of the Moon.