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How Two Worthless Genetic Freaks Founded a Nation

by TheDriderPony

Chapter 3: Behind Every Great Ruler, There's a Great Hypeman

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"I'm ba-ack~!" Lu trilled as she slammed open the door to Starswirl's wagon.

Cel started in surprise, nearly knocking an inkwell off the table where she was sitting. "Don't do that!" she scolded, "I nearly got ink everywhere!"

"Sorry," Lu apologized unapologetically, a wide smile still on her face, "But you'll never guess what I got us at the market!"

Cel carefully moved the inkwell back to the center of the table, far away from the dangerous edges. "Bread, I hope. That's all you were supposed to get."

Lu's smile widened and she stepped fully into the room, revealing a bucket she'd been hiding behind the door frame. "Even better!" She thrust the bucket forward, as a distinct and exceedingly strong smell filled the room. "Fish heads!"

Cel's eyes lit up at her sister's revelation. "The griffon merchant is back in town?"

Lu brought the bucket over to the cooking area, careful not to let its contents slosh out onto the floor. "Yep! He remembered me from last time, and saved me the heads after a pegasus noble bought all the fillets. Sold 'em to me for two copper pieces each!"

Cel joined her in the kitchen as her magic lowered a copper cooking pot from the rafters. The ambient magic triggered the runes engraved around the pot, causing it to fill up on its own with magically generated water. A subtle red glow around the bottom indicated that the heating runes had activated as well. As soon as it began to simmer, Lu poured in her fishy treats before tossing the used bucket back out into the street. She began to stir the stew as Cel scanned the desiccated herbs and plants which cluttered up the ceiling.

"Which one is chives again? Is it the one that looks like grass or the one with the strange leaves?" she asked.

"First one." Lu replied, "Pretty sure at least. Look for little purple flowers."

"Right." Finding the herb in question, she snagged it from the roof with a primary and pulled a few strands from the bundle to add flavor. She sprinkled them into the pot as Lu continued to stir, having moved to using her hooves and the heavier spoon since the stew was beginning to thicken.

For a moment, the room was silent, save for the bubbling of the pot, before Lu finally asked what had been on her mind. "So he's not back yet?"

Cel sighed. "No, he's not. If it were anypony else I'd be getting worried, but still. He said he'd be right back and it's been almost two days." She gazed into the stew as if hoping she might find answers within its fishy depths.

Lu stopped stirring and went to fetch a ladle. "I'm sure he's fine, he's the world's most powerful wizard after all. He said so himself." She returned and began spooning out two portions of stew into a set of bowls. "Come eat something, you've been cooped up in here waiting all day."

Cel opened her mouth to answer, but her rumbling stomach beat her to it. She laughed slightly as she pushed her worries to the back of her mind and gladly accepted a bowl from her sister. They carried their meals over to the table and set them down.

"Sorry about the mess," Cel apologized as she pushed her quill, parchment, and inkwell off to one side.

Lu caught a glimpse of repeated strings of unicorn characters before the page was hidden from view. "You're working on your writing again?"

Cel nodded and she blew softly across her steaming bowl. "Nothing else to do in here all day. Plus Starswirl says it's important to be able to read and write in at least one language."

Lu blew a raspberry in response. "Important for a wizard like him maybe. I know when ponies are talking to me and enough Earth Pony script to know what a store sells. Isn't that enough?"

"For now I guess, but what about later?" Cel pointed her spoon to emphasize her point. "You want to live on these streets forever, or fight past our limitations and make something of ourselves? Education's the first step to that."

Lu returned an unimpressed frown. "If you're going to quote one of Starswirl's lectures back at me, maybe try using one that I wasn't there for as well."

Cel grinned sheepishly. "Caught red-hooved. Well, in any case, I at least find it a little interesting. How the different characters work together to mean something and the whole structure of it all and stuff." She held aloft a spoonful of fish soup. "Anyway, cheers."

"Cheers."

They clinked spoons together, only to be interrupted by the force of an enormous explosion. The resounding boom knocked them out of their seats and set the whole wagon to shaking. Potions and books rattled on their shelves, while fish soup flew everywhere. Celly and Lulu found themselves thrown to the floor and covered in soup.

After a moment, the rattling objects settled down and quiet returned, save for two sets of heavy breathing.

"What- what in the world was that!?" Cel gasped out through her panic.

"I don't know, but it- Aack!" Lu's reply was cut short as her voice got stuck in her throat.

Cel rushed to her sister and immediately began to check her for injuries. "What is it? What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

Lu whimpered softly and pointed to her backside, which Cel finally noticed was covered by an enormous black splotch. "Your inkwell fell on me during all the shaking." She got to her hooves with a helping wing from Cel. "Quick, get me a wet cloth or something! I have to blot it out before the stain sets."

Before she could, however, a trapdoor in the middle of the floor was flung open from within, releasing a cloud of greenish smoke into the room. While most single floor wagons do not contain trapdoors leading to a basement level, most wagons are also not owned by powerful wizards. Said wizard stuck his head out of the hole, hacking and coughing.

"Note to self," he wheezed between his coughs, "Two containment fields is not nearly enough, better use three next time. Maybe four even..." He trailed off as he noticed Cel and Lu staring at him, slack-jawed and dripping with soup. "Ah, there you two are. It's about time! Would you get down here already, it's nearly time for your part."

In their defense, Cel and Lu actually managed to recover fairly quickly. Even then, it took either of them a good few seconds to respond.

"Starswirl!" Lu was the first to recover. "You're back."

He rolled his eyes. "Obviously. I was only gone for an hour or two."

"But, but... we've been waiting!" Cel managed to rebut, "I've been watching the door since you left and-"

"Doors are for less important ponies whose equally less important time is worth wasting." he interrupted, "Now hurry up, he's starting to smell." With that, Starswirl disappeared completely back down the trapdoor.

Cel and Lu gave each other uneasy looks before hesitantly following Starswirl downstairs.

The basement of Starswirl's wagon was a stark contrast to the floor above it. Obviously, of course, because if you're going to magically extend the dimensions of a room, it'd be abhorrently boring to make it all of a consistent style. Rather than wood, the walls were lined with heavy flagstones, each covered in runic engravings. The floor extended several times the wagon's length in each direction, with a door at one end that implied it went on even longer. The room was haphazardly lit with a mix of both candles and illumination crystals, their scattered light half revealing various enchantment circles drawn in multi-hued chalk on the floor. The air was thick with the smells of alchemical smoke, wax, alcohol, and the tingly lemon-like residue left behind in the wake of large expenditures of magic. This, was Starswirl's magical testing chamber.

Cel and Lu stepped cautiously off the ladder and squinted through the poor lighting to try and catch a glimpse of their mentor. His quiet mutterings filled the air, but the sound echoed around in such a way that made it impossible to pinpoint his location. Lu pointed after a few moments of searching at a particularly large shape in the darkness. Cel noticed it as well and the pair began making their way over to it.

"Starswirl...?" Lu began, treading carefully to avoid disturbing any chalk lines which may still be in use, "Did you figure out a way to solve our problem? You know, with Discord being dead and everything?"

"Of course I did!" Cel and Lu jumped as the voice came from directly behind them. Starswirl lit his horn, revealing himself and several pieces of chalk in his magical grasp. "I am the greatest... the greatest wizard ever born, of course I have a solution. I had a plan the moment you told me the problem." The chalk pieces flew out from his grasp, each beginning to write or repair parts of the largest enchantment circles. "It's only taken me this long to work out a few... inconsistent results."

He lurched forward, passing them as he made his way towards a worktable. Around it lay the partially broken remains of many lifelike plants sculpted from stone. Cel leaned in close to her sister so Starswirl would not overhear them. "Is he drinking again?"

"Again?" Lu snorted in disbelief before pointing at a variety of bottles and jugs hastily stashed beneath the table. "I don't think he ever stopped."

"Girls!" Starswirl exclaimed, spinning around on the spot and startling them both again. "I have a spell to fix everything. All this... trouble that you caused. Took some modifying, of course. Originally meant to make pottery after all..." he trailed off into mumbled nonsense.

"Uh, Starswirl?" Lu prodded.

"And that!" Starswirl rocketed back to full volume, "Is how I will fix every- everything. Now, get in place for your parts."

The sisters shared a confused look between them. "Our... parts?" Cel ventured.

"Don't be daft, haven't you been listening to me at all?" He stomped over to the cloaked mass on the floor and whipped off the covers. "I need you to pose Discord's body and hold him there so I can encase him in stone!"


"This is so gross..." Lu whimpered.

"Well, suck it up," Starswirl replied as he ground reagents into a fine powder, "This is your own fault you know."

"It's not that bad." Cel offered.

"Not that bad? Not that bad?! Celly, you're propping his head up with your own! Anypony seeing this without context would think you're romantically tangoing his corpse!"

"Could be worse," she offered, shifting her hoof slightly in order to keep Discord's claw posed upwards. "I could be holding on to his tail."

Lu shuddered again as the mostly scaled appendage settled further across her outspread wings. Discord's corpse had definitely seen better days. His abdomen was bloated, his fur matted, several teeth and all but one fang were just plain missing, and he reeked of the most foul combination of rotting bananas peels and sauerkraut. But worst of all was his tail. Scales apparently did not deal well with a sustained lack of blood flow, and had taken it unto themselves to occasionally slough off in large sections. That alone would be bad enough if only the flesh underneath wasn't so... so... goopy.

Another piece of tail melted off, joining the ever-growing mass of scales, fish, and ink which had once been Lu's coat. She dry heaved in revulsion and Cel took the opportunity to speak for her. "How much longer until the spell is ready Starswirl? He's really starting to go to pieces over here."

"O 'ars! Is on ai 'ongue!"

"What?" Starswirl looked up from his powders. "Oh. Spell's been ready for ages. I just had to make things a bit more bearable." He poured his powered herbs into a fabric casing and tied the whole assembly across his face, covering his muzzle completely. He took a deep breath. "There. That's better. You know you two smell nearly as bad as he does."

"Waaaaarrggg?!" Lu vocalized with utmost eloquence.

"Fine, fine. I'll get on with it." Starswirl began to charge his horn. The lights dimmed in the room as the green corona around his horn grew brighter and brighter. "Hmm... going to have to turn up the power on this. He's a bit bigger than my test subjects."

The glow around his horn continued to grow, as did the fear in the eyes of Discord's impromptu stagehands. "Starswirl..." Cel called out over the growing magical whine, "You do have some way to make sure it only hits him and not us, right?" She squinted into the light as he failed to respond. "Right?!"

"Of course!" Cel's eyes adjusted enough to the light to just make out Starswirl taking another hearty pull from a flagon before slamming it back down. "I have excellent aim!"

"Wha- !" But any complaints on Celly's part were cut short as Starswirl let loose the spell. A beam of magic as wide as a foreleg shot across the room like a magical railgun. It struck Discord square in the chest, missing a stray lock of Cel's hair by a literal hair's breadth. With a sound like crackling lightning, Discord's body absorbed the magic and began to glow.

The effect was surprisingly subtle. Stone did not grow outward from the point of impact like a lithomorphic virus. Nor did random patches across his body begin to transmute like a standard transformation spell. Instead, he just began to turn grayer. Color drained from Discord's body like a rain-soaked painting, the various parts hardening as they lost their hue. Within moments, he was a pale shadow of his former self.

"You can let him go now." Starswirl instructed, "He should be hard enough to stand on his own."

Without an ounce of reluctance, Cel and Lu immediately abandoned their posts. Cel took the time to marvel at the new statue, while Lu instead began frantically searching through the various empty bottles for anything with which to wash off her tongue.

"Wow..." Cel marveled, tapping the statue with a hoof. "He's so... so lifelike. Like he could start moving again at any second."

"Well he won't be," Starswirl stated, "He's just rock now, through and through." Leaving the magic circle behind, Starswirl wasted no time marching across the room to the door at the far end. He turned back impatiently. "Well come on then. Time for- for phase two."

"Phase two?" Cel questioned as Lu gasped behind her, having finally found a forgotten glass of water with which to rinse and spit. "But what's left? The Mad King's a statue now, and we get to take credit for defeating him, just like you wanted. What else is there to do?"

Starswirl grunted in frustration. "Ponies are going to have... certain expectations... of world-saving heroes. And it's going to take more than just a statue to prove you to the bumbling masses. There's something to be said for presentation. Now hurry up, I have... a present for you."

"A present?" Lu lit up immediately and rushed past Starswirl and through the door. Cel followed curiously but at a more sedate pace, fully trusting that Starswirl, genius that he was, had a plan and a better grasp of the needs of the situation than she possibly could, but still understandably cautious.

Behind the door lied another experimentation room. This one was smaller, and better lit, with evenly spaced alcoves across the walls for larger illumination crystals. This room had wood paneling and looked more like the interior of a moderately wealthy house. That is, excluding the glowing warding runes written across each wall to constrain any magical aftereffects. A simplified magic circle was drawn on the ground with four smaller rings within it. Two of these were currently occupied by a pair of unconscious ponies. Lu was looking over them curiously.

The first was a lanky green stallion with a short-cropped cherry-red mane. The second was a cornflower mare with long lavender locks.

"Who're they?"

"Doesn't matter. Don't worry about it. They volunteered." Starswirl replied decisively. "Now go stand in the other two magic circles."

Cel and Lu dutifully trotted over to the unoccupied circles and turned to face Starswirl. In the relatively short time they'd known him, it was remarkable how quickly being the subject of his radical new spells had become commonplace. He rifled through the pages of one of his notebooks. "You two should be grateful, this is possibly the most complicated spell I've created to date. I doubt any other spellcaster in history could even come close to crafting something half as precise and intricate." He squinted as he turned to the last page. "I'll be needing a new journal after this. The calculations ran so long I had to cram the activation phrase in the margins."

Cel paused. There was something unsettling about this whole situation. Whether it was the unconscious ponies, the secrecy, the lack of any proper explanation, or the fact that Starswirl was bunkering down behind additional layers of warded barricades. "Are you sure this is safe?"

"Of course! I'll be perfectly protected behind these blockades."

"No, I meant-"

"It's time!" Startswirl interrupted as he once more lit his horn (the only part of him still visible behind his protective wall). The lights dimmed as his aura grew, and the circles inscribed on the floor lit up in matching hue. Starswirl's voice took on a strange echoing quality as his incantation reverberated throughout the chamber.

From one to another, another to one. A mark of one's destiny singled out alone, fulfilled!

The two sisters rose into the air, surrounded by a glowing white light. The pair of unconscious ponies floated as well, only a moment behind. The light grew and grew to a blinding brilliance such that Cel and Lu could still see it even after they had closed they eyes.

And then it exploded.

Green-tinged smoke filled the room, accompanied by the sound of two ponies coughing, and one pony cackling maniacally while only occasionally being interrupted by wracking coughs. "Ha ha! That's it! Perfect! Finally it went off exactly how it was supposed to!"

"Starswirl!" Lu choked out between coughs of the thick smoke, "What- *cough* -What just happened?"

"What just happened? What just happened?!" A faint glow permeated the haze as the mage cast another spell, this one creating a whirlwind that sucked all the smoke into a small vial, which he quickly capped. "What just happened was the greatest feat of magic in modern history! Something that all the scholars of old swore could never be done! But such a trifling task was hardly even a challenge for Starswirl, Wizard of the Arcane!"

The 'Wizard of the Arcane' who, apparently, had an unfortunate premature bald patch made temporarily visible by how the explosion had blown his normally wavy mane into wild spikes.

"Our... coats are clean?" Cel guessed. For all her searching, she could not spy any other major changes. Their two unconscious guests looked unchanged, as did the room as a whole. The only truly noticeable change was that she and her sister were no longer covered in fish soup and, in Lu's case, other unpleasant things. In fact, their coats were probably the cleanest they'd been in years.

"Except for this ink blot," Lu pouted, pawing at the large black splotch that, if anything, seemed more firmly set than before. "That's going to take ages to grow out."

Cel started to respond when something caught her eye. There was something there, a light patch against the darkness that was her sister's hindquarters. A patch of fish scale from the soup maybe? No, it looked to be set in the fur, almost as if it were a part of her.

She gasped in sudden realization, as Lu did as well for her own reasons. "You have a cutie mark!" They exclaimed simultaneously.

Cel whipped her neck around to check her own flank. True enough, where before had been plain white fur there was now a stylized sun. An immense joy welled up from within her, the likes of which she had never known in her short existence. The ponies had all said that a mongrel half-breed like her could never get a cutie mark, and as years progressed she had started to believe it herself. But now this! She didn't know what this cutie mark represented or what it meant for her future, but by the stars she had a cutie mark!

Lu as well was literally jumping for joy, her wings fluttering instinctively, if ineffectively.

Cel turned to Starswirl and looked up with wide glimmering eyes. "You gave us cutie marks?"

He chuckled in smug self-satisfaction as he basked in the adoration. "Indeed. A fine piece of magic, if I do say so my-Oof!" He stopped talking as the breath was knocked from his lungs by the impact force of the glomping hugs of two overjoyed fillies.

He froze for a moment. Though he was well used to intimate gestures from his research assistants, the innocent hugs of genuine care and thanks threw him offbeat.

"Alright, alright. That's quite enough of that." He peeled the reluctant fillies off. "There is still more to be done."

"What's next Master Starswirl?" they asked eagerly. If they had held any doubts about Starswirl or his plans and intentions before, they were long gone now.

He nodded to himself. Good. They were more prepared to follow him now than ever. "I hope you two are well practiced in running a scam. Because for this to work you're going to need to pull one over on the entire population." He shook his head abruptly and his spiked mane fell back into grey-blue curls. "It's going to be quite a performance."


The marketplace was a hustle and bustle of activity. The air was rich with the fragrance of food and spices, far removed from the noxious smells of the slums near the outer walls. Though not the truly wealthy district, the market was still frequented by ponies of reasonable wealth and thus was kept accordingly clean.

Banners hung over small stands and shacks, their level of vibrancy giving a general idea of how wealthy the vendor was, while the ponies within hawked their wares. Grains from the farmers, pottery from the masons, even a few pricey treats like sugar and salt from merchants brave enough to venture between settlements. Shopkeeps shouted out discounted prices and promises of guaranteed freshness, while shoppers called back with counter offers and exclamations of disbelief. It was a hubbub of noise and activity.

As usual, there were always a few ponies who had claimed spaces without the intent to sell anything. But they had messages to share and were prepared to do so as loudly as possible.

"A great calamity is upon us!" A stallion cried, throwing his hooves wide as his billowing red robe flared dramatically. "That which was once feared shall come again! An ancient evil, lost to history, shall return anon. Though he wields the seven-colored sword and rides atop that which is neither bird nor beast, he does not wish for your destruction! All he asks is for your obedience."

He took a moment to wipe the sweat from his brow, but all too soon his reedy voice was once more bludgeoning the ears of his captive audience. "Praise him! For none can overcome his greatness. The only wise choice is to submit lest you draw his ire. Even the strongest of guards, the most powerful of wizards are like the buzzing of flies to him. Death is but a door and time is but a window! Save yourselves and your families by pledging your allegiance now!"

"Do not listen to these prattlers of false testimony!" A mare interrupted him from another platform a few stalls down. Though she wore no grand robe, her honey-yellow coat was irregularly striped with some sort of black dye, as were patches around each eye, giving her a wild and untamed appearance. "My name is Corvax and I speak for the Bees! For too long ponies have stolen from them the plants and fruits which they hath nurtured and defended. Ponies hoard the plants and love them to excess, and love shall be their undoing! The High Queen shall come and her anger shall be righteous. When her army descends like a cloud of night, all hope shall be sucked dry. Change your ways, o ye nonbelievers, lest you be caught in her fury!"

There were others, rambling on with their own soliloquies, including one aged stallion on a corner who mumbled on in a monotone so flat and even you could level a shelf with it. So boring was he that not a single pony noticed when a blue hoof reached around the corner and knocked him out with a jug. Nor did they notice when a golden aura slowly and haltingly pulled him out of sight. In seconds, his position was taken by a pair of white and blue mares, both wearing cloaks, and the marketplace continued without so much as a hiccup.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Cel whispered nervously, "This is so different than tricking a few ponies at a time into giving us food or coins. I don't know anything about making speeches or convincing large crowds of ponies about anything or... or... or anything." Though normally confident in such matters, she was used to small ruses in the shadows where she and her sister could slip away if things went south. This was broad daylight in an open market, an entirely different kettle of fish.

"Then it's a good thing we don't have to do anything like that," Lu replied, "Starswirl said that all we had to do was gather a crowd and then he'd take over." She gestured to the proselyting ponies perched on their pedestals, "And if these wackjobs can do it, then it can't be that hard. Plus, nopony'll know us in a richer part of town like this."

Cel swallowed her nerves. "Alright. Let's try it then." She stepped forward to the edge of their platform and tried to push out her chest with confidence and authority. Unfortunately, it mostly made her look like she was trying to hold in a sneeze, but the intent was there.

"Ponies of the marketplace!" she cried, her voice more than a little shaky and nervous, "I have... uh... great news! Yes, great news that requires your attention. So if you all could, ah, you know... look over here... please?"

As expected, she was completely ignored. The downside of trying to copy the traveling prophets was that said prophets were also regularly ignored. Lu shook her head and nudged her sister in the back.

"No, no, no. You can't start things weakly like that. Go big or go home. Hey!" she shouted into the crowd, "Discord is dead and we killed him!"

"Yeah, an' me mudder's the Queen'a Ponyopolis!" Some wise guy in the crowd shot back.

"Hey who asked you?" Lu retorted, singling out the stallion who'd paused his shopping to reply. "We're trying to do a thing here!"

"And you're right terrible at it!"

"Just ignore him," Cel murmured, trying to defuse the situation, "Let's just keep going. That's right! The terrible monster that has made us live in fear for so long... is defeated!"

"What, did he die from fright seein' those ugly mugs of yours?" The same stallion cackled over his own ingenious heckling.

Lu grunted and leaned over the platform to speak to him directly. "Don't you have something better to do?"

He shrugged. "Not really. Me missus is doing her shoppin'. I'm just here to carry 'er bags."

"A great evil..." Cel continued over top of their conversation, "Has been defeated."

"Well go bother somepony else then."

"Why? I'm havin' plenty of fun right 'ere."

"Through ancient magics, lost to time..." Cel raised her voice over the growing argument.

"I don't care if you're bored, quit talking or get walking."

"How's about you get a good pitch? This is boring as nails."

"And the aid of a powerful wizard..."

"At least the guy in the robe is promisin' good fortune if I convert. What's yer offer?"

"We're not... we're not offering anything! We're trying to deliver important information."

"..stood united on the field of battle..."

"Yeah? Well what's so important then?"

"What? She... Have you no ears?! My sister's said it like twelve times now!"

"Hmph. Must not be that important then."

"But she... I... ARGH!" Lu shrieked in frustration and despair before slammed her hooves back on the wooden slats beneath her. "You know what? Forget it! I don't care anymore." She stomped towards the back of the stage. "C'mon Cel, let's try this again at another market. Or tomorrow. Or... something different!"

A disappointed frown grew on the face of the elder sister. "Aw... and I was really starting to get into a rhythm too."

"Oi! Hang on now," said the stallion whose impertinence beggared belief, "You said you had important news. You can't leave me hanging like this. I wanna hear it."

Lu rolled her eyes and decided to ignore him. "Oh, go soak your head in vinegar."

His eyes widened in shock before narrowing in anger. "I what?"

"You heard me."

He sputtered nonsense sounds as he tried to rationalized a comeback. "You can't talk to me like that!" He tapped the shoulder of a passing pegasus, grabbing the stallion's attention for confirmation. "She can't talk to me like that, right?"

"What the devil are you on about?"

"That conehead filly there! She's got some kind of important information and won't share it. And she insulted me!"

The finely-dressed pegasus looked confused but mildly intrigued. He turned toward the stage and asked accusingly, "Is this true?"

Lu threw up her hooves, her breath angry and flaring in short bursts. "Sure. Why not? I don't care! Go eat a barrel of twigs you ultramaroon."

The pegasus gasped, a hoof to his chest in shock. "You dare? Do you have any idea who I am? I'll have you know I am the third son of the Silk family, the second biggest producer of wholesale fabrics in the City's east district inner ring! What gives a half-starved gutter-filly like you the right to say such things to me?"

"Hey!" Cel interjected, "You take that back! Gutter-filly she may be, but I always make sure she eats well."

"Pipe down clodsnotch, I'll deal with you next." he spat before turning back to the fuming blue mare. "Now I demand that you apologize to my good fellow and I, and tell us what he wants to know."

"No, and there's nothing you can do to make me." She grinned snarkily and stuck out her tongue. "Now both of you can go and..."

The argument had started to gather a crowd. Ponies love drama and all the more so drama that is loud, public, and free to view. Hushed conversations passed between ponies as those who'd been eavesdropping from early on filled in those who had just arrived.

"What's going on?"

"You see those fillies? They've got some kind of important secret."

"What is it?"

"Don't know. They're refusing to say. And they keep insulting ponies far above their station without thought to the consequences."

"The nerve! It must be important then. I demand to know immediately!"

"What this then?"

"Those foul-mouthed cretins have important secrets they refuse to divulge!"

"State secrets..."

"National importance..."

"A leak from the Court officials..."

"Want to know..."

"Have to know..."

"Need to know..."

The story shifted and warped as it was passed from mouth to mouth, until everypony was sure they understood everything, even though none of them could agree on just what was going on. But it was something important, on that there was a consensus.

From atop a rooftop overlooking the market, a lone unicorn watched the scene below as Lu and the original two stallions (as well as several others who had felt the need to join in) continued to bandy harsh words and increasingly severe slurs. The crowd was suitably large and no pony had any sense of direction or purpose. A herd was gathered, now all he needed to do was redirect them where he wanted them to go. Exactly as planned.

Well, certainly not exactly as he had planned; the cursing fight alone had made him worried for the plan's success, but the end result was close enough to work with. That aside, he made a mental note give the fillies a crash course in statesmareship and working a crowd for any future plans involving speeches.

Alighting his horn, Starswirl cast several spells over his person in preparation. Disarming Voice. The Salespony's Smile. Charm. Piper Pie's Persuasion. Finally, he cast a short flare of magical light which signaled the fillies below to stand back. With a near invisible wink of green light, he vanished.

-----

Amidst the chaos that she had long since stopped trying to resolve, Cel noticed the signal from the rooftops. She tapped her still arguing sister on the shoulder. Lu whirled around, ready to continue her battle with a newcomer only to quickly calm as Cel's look communicated everything she needed to know. The pair stepped back even as the crowd continued to yell and argue, half with each other over the nature of what they were arguing about. But all voices quickly ceased as a flash of light and a bang of green smoke appeared on stage.

A commanding presence stepped forward, his blue star-studded robe cutting a striking figure against the smoky backdrop. With his head held high and proudly, he exited the smoke like a sage from ancient lore.

"Ponies!" His voice thundered across the crowd like cannon. "Observe thyselves! Look at the state in which you live! Squabbling amongst each other like hens over a hoofful of feed.

For too long ponies have lived in conflict. Mare against stallion. Brother fighting brother. And who is it, what beast has forced you to live in this chaotic state of fear and confusion?"

A few hesitant voices managed a "Cha-" or "The Mad-" or "Lord-" before cutting themselves off. No one wanted to accidently draw the Mad King's ire by calling him by a name he'd grown bored with.

"Yes, Discord!" the crowd gasped at his boldness, "Do not be afraid to call it by name! Your hesitance and fear only give him more power over you. It is due to his madness and cruel tyranny that we are forced to cower in our settlements like wild beasts before a storm. But there is a prophecy..."

The crowd leaned in, those eager for a story hushing any who tried to argue or heckle. "Many years ago," he began in traditional format, "In the early years after Discord's appearance, a wise sage, respected council to the courts of all three tribes, had a vision. Her vision told her that in a time of great need, when all hope was lost, the Forces of Harmony would send down two champions to aid ponykind. They would be blessed with the strength of all three tribes and together, they would defeat any would-be tyrant and herald in a glorious age of prosperity to the land."

Starswirl smiled as he paused for effect. He had the crowd truly well-wrapped around his hoof. Even the most skeptical and cynical of ponies loved a tale of a savior triumphing over evil. The prophecy was, of course, completely fictitious and had been in fact written by him over the past several evenings. But keeping track of things like prophecies and history was a job for sages and scholars (much like himself) and not the common pony.

"I stand here today, good ponies, to tell you that the prophecy is fulfilled! A pair of young maidens, blessed by the fates, went and did battle with Discord at the very heart of his power. And through their combined gifts, and the aid of a skilled advisor, they emerged victorious! Today I will make of you witnesses to the birth of a new era. Behold!"

With a pulse of magic Starswirl cleared the remaining smoke, revealing what had been hidden within. A horrible statue, like something from a nightmare. Ponies gasped, screamed, or cowered as was their wont while Starswirl reeled in his control over the crowd. "Do not be alarmed! There is no danger! The Mad King is no more than harmless stone!" He boldly strode forth to place a hoof on it's marble chest. This calmed the crowd somewhat, as their fear slowly gave way to shock and awe.

"No more does the Mad King rule these lands. His power gone and his essence trapped within an eternal unbreakable prison of stone!"

Starswirl took careful measure of the crowd's engagement. Everypony was zeroed in on him and the statue. Even pegasi passing overhead had stopped and what little free space that had been left in the market had been filled to the brim by ponies who had poured in from sidestreets. Too stunned to react, they were blank slates waiting for direction. All they needed now was to have their attention swiftly redirected and the emotional whiplash would leave them vulnerable. They were putty in his hooves.

He stepped to one side, carefully drawing the crowd's attention with him as he maneuvered in front of where the two cloaked ponies were still waiting for his signal. The crowd had been baited; now they just needed to be reeled in.

"Today I present to you, your saviors and mine, the all-in-one-icorns... Celestial Star and Lunar Nova!"

Cel and Lu stepped around and past him and spread their wings, intentionally weakened stitching in the cloaks ripping apart with the force. Another shocked gasp echoed through the crowd. These were not the type of ponies who hung about in the slums, and therefore most had never even heard the rumor of ponies with the traits of multiple tribes.

The choice of new names had taken the three of them most of the night to decide. Cel and Lu had thought that their names were perfectly fine as is thank-you-very-much, but Starswirl had insisted that world-saving heroes who would be recorded for all time in the annals of history needed equally weighty names, even if they were just monikers. Or at least names more than a single unicorn character in length. He had also insisted that they be related to the heavens. Countless ideas were shot down either for being too nonsensical (such as Day Mare and Mooning View) or too over-the-top (though Midnight Astra and Dawn Deliverer had almost made the cut). Eventually a compromise was reached with a pair of names that allowed them to use their old ones as nicknames.

"Behold! The proof of their divine birthright! The gifts of all three tribes!" Cel, or rather, Celestial Star stepped forward. "The magic of the unicorns!" A golden aura surrounded her horn and with a flash, she vanished, reappearing a few platforms over. She repeated this a few times before returning to where began, and stepped back.

Lunar Nova stepped forward next. "The magic of the Earth Ponies!" At Starswirl's command she reared up and stomped her forehooves into the platform. Immediately, the wooden slats turned green and lush as new branches and sprouts wormed their way skyward like charmed snakes. So quickly they grew that they completed enclosed and grew around the scattered shards of a shattered potion bottle, small enough to fit in the frog of a hoof.

At last both sisters stepped forward and spread their wings. "And last but not least, the magic of the Pegasi!" With a flap, both mares took to the skies. They swirled and swooped across the marketplace, banking against high windows and gliding low over an audience that reached out to touch them in wonder and awe. Every eye was on their aerial acrobatics. Not a single glance was free to notice how Starswirl's eye seemed to be twitching or how his winning smile had clenched into something more grimace-like. Almost as if he were performing a complex feat of magic while also reducing his coronal discharge to be nearly invisible.

They landed back on the platform with as much grace as if they were being set down. Starswirl stood between them, all traces of exertion having vanished from his face.

"But it is not just the powers of all the tribes that these two bear, no indeed. In their conquest over the Mad King, Celestial Star and Lunar Nova stripped from him his control over the very sun and moon in the sky!"

The pair rotated, as rehearsed, so the crowd could have a firm look at their behinds. A soft murmur rippled over the crowd, but it did little to dampen the energy from the previous display. "Before, day and night would shift and change as Discord pleased, but no longer! Have you not noticed? For days now the day and night have come and gone in equal measure. Even now, these two noble young mares hold the celestial bodies on their courses, guaranteeing everypony a reliable day and night from now until forevermore!"

Cel and Lu shared an uneasy gaze hidden behind their plastered smiles. They hoped that this would work.

~~~~~Some time earlier...~~~~~

"Move the sun and moon?" Cel asked in disbelief from the floor of Starswirl's wagon. "I can't do that! Nopony can do that!"

"Calm down already," Starswirl chided from where he sat at the table. He levitated it nonchalantly so Lu's scrub brush could reach the fish soup that had spilled and dried underneath it. "You don't have to actually move anything. It will be sufficient that everypony thinks you do.

With Discord's hold broken, the sun and moon should be free from any magical interference. It'll take hundreds of years before their fields stabilize, if ever. And without any interference, they should return to the stable orbits they held before ponies started meddling. Very few ponies alive today even know that the orbs used to move on their own before early ponies slowed their movements for longer days and softer seasons. And in the meantime, even if the methods to move them are rediscovered, no pony, no matter how powerful, will be able to. Thus cementing your claim that you two have divine authority over the sun and moon."

"But.. what'll that do to the world?" Lu asked, "If nopony is controlling the sun, I mean."

Starswirl snorted. "Nothing anypony will notice. Slightly hotter summers and colder winters. Some seasonal festivals might fall a day short of or past the actual equinox."

"But they won't fall and crush the city, right?"

He frowned at her, remembering once again just how little education the pair had, even compared to the common pony. "No."

~~~~~Present~~~~~

The sisters smiled nervously both at each other and the audience, hoping to whatever might be watching that this would work. Because if it didn't...

"And so, I ask you, ponies of City McCityplace, what have you to say to these legendary heroes, as foretold by prophecy, vanquishers of Discord and unifiers of the three tribes, shepherds of the sun and moon? What say you to them?"

There was a pause in which all of the sister's fears seemed to hang above them like a great boulder, before the tension finally snapped and the whole crowd erupted into cheers. A wild surging ovation. Hooves stomped into flagstones so hard it sounded as if they might shatter. Unicorns fired sparks and light spells with wild abandon, creating impromptu fireworks of raw emotion. Even the ponies in front, those who had been cursing and arguing before, whooped along with the rest; all thoughts of the earlier incident banished by the overpowering swell of positive emotion.

The two alicorns, recently reclassified as such, turned slightly to each other and smiled giddily. For the first time in their lives, ponies were happy to see them. Emboldened by the cheers, Lu stepped forward and hollered out a powerful cry which rung through the crowd like a bell which tolls a new era.

"It is time for a new day in City McCityplace!"

The crowd's cheers doubled.

Behind the young mares who were lapping up the praise that had been so starved of, Starswirl smirked to himself. Everything was in place now. The herdmind of the masses had been won over with grand gestures and word would quickly spread, the stories becoming greater as they made their way down the grapevine. One or two more performances across town, and there wouldn't be a pony in the City who did not know of Celestial Star and Lunar Nova, all-powerful and nigh-invulnerable alicorn warriors and saviors of the realm. And also Starswirl, their humble mentor and guardian, who would of course be right by their side as they rose to the heights of power and society. All the way to the top. Where plans could then be put into place to take full advantage of the actual prophecies. This was just the beginning.

Author's Notes:

Would you hate me more or less if I told you that the first third of this was actually written 6-8 months ago then accidentally forgotten about?

Next Chapter: From Whom the Bell Stole Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 19 Minutes
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