Living in Equestria

by Blazewing

First published 27th of June, 2012

A young man finds himself in a world beyond his wildest imaginations...

A young man named Dave, while writing a personal journal about his perceptions of liking the show "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", is unexpectedly whisked away into the land of Equestria, where his memories about the world even being part of a show are erased, leaving him lost in an unfamiliar land. Luckily, help comes to him in the form of a pony named Pinkie Pie, who immediately dubs him her new friend, and introduces him to life in Equestria...

Cover art done by Redback Spino

Editing: Firebirdbtops

Where Am I?

“To whom it may concern,

I have no idea who I might be writing this to. I simply have confidence in, well, confiding in you, my mystery reader, whomever you might be. There’s a TV show out there known as My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Despite all it has going for it, I have never felt the slightest inclination nor desire to associate myself as a “brony”. That, reader, is the name the fan base has given the male fans of the show. Pun-tastic, isn’t it? Anyway, I will admit, the writing is good, the characters are enjoyable, the voices are nice to listen to, the music and songs are great, and the humor gets a good chuckle out of me, but there’s some things about this show that I just can’t stand.

Before I get into that, I might as well give a bit of detail into the show itself. It revolves around six pony mares, the unicorns Twilight Sparkle and Rarity, pegasus ponies Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, and Earth ponies Applejack and Pinkie Pie. These six encounter several misadventures in their hometown of Ponyville, in the land of Equestria, ruled by Princess Celestia. These misadventures usually result in learning an important lesson by the end, but that’s one of my main points, so let’s just dive right into my main issues with the show.

First of all, the name. Just saying the words My Little Pony only serves as a reminder that this was based off a cutesy TV show and girl toy franchise from the past. Therefore, to save myself substantial embarrassment, I only ever refer to it by its acronymic moniker, MLP. It’s the only way I can stomach it.

The second thing, which is in tandem with the first, is the theme song. Again, it’s too much of a reminder of where it came from, and I’d rather not listen to it. Yes, only the first six words (really the three that make up the main title) are what seal it, as they do still stay connected to the original theme, but the fact still remains.

Third, the underlying morals. To an extent, the entire show is based on the ‘magic of friendship’, and the morals at the end, made as letters to the ruler of the land, are all about lessons of friendship; Aesops, if you will. These Aesops seem to do nothing more than remind me that the entire premise is the importance of friendship. Yes, I know, it’s a kid’s show, and part of the title is Friendship is Magic, but come on, do they need to make it that obvious?

Fourth,” ...

There. It was down on paper. I had finally gotten it off my chest.

So why didn’t I feel more satisfied?

This was what I’d come here for. This was what I risked some alone time to accomplish. Since I didn’t have the nerve to say it out loud, my only other resource was to put it in writing. It was supposed to be therapeutic. Why, then, did I still feel this heavy weight on my heart?

It was no good. No matter what I did, I just couldn’t escape the truth. Besides, writing to ‘whomever it may concern’ was just ridiculous, as no one was going to see this anyway. This was more or less just a means of justifying my own self-respect, but I didn’t feel like I’d accomplished even that.

Taking the sheet of notebook paper in my fingers, I ripped it out of the book, a little unevenly, and was prepared to crumple it into a ball and throw it away.

But I didn’t get much farther than that. At the moment, I felt something like a sharp pang in my right arm.

“Augh! What the-”

Then the same pain through my other arm.

“Gah! What's going on?!”

Then it struck again, in both arms at the same time. Then I felt it in my legs. Next, my head began to throb, as if I were succumbing to a major headache.

“What’s...happening?...”

At last, my whole body seized up, and I felt myself black out.

The next thing I knew, I was regaining my senses, so to speak. My head was sore, as if someone had taken it into their skull to pound it vigorously with a crowbar. There was also a sort of…how do I put it into words…vague fuzziness in my head. I was dimly aware of myself and my body, but beyond that, there were...patches missing. I knew my name and who I was, but what had I been doing before I went unconscious? Had I been doing anything at all?

All around me, I felt like I was lying on something soft and tickly. Grass, maybe? Had I been outside at the time? My eyes felt heavy, so it was an effort to pry them open. Surprisingly, my vision upon doing so was perfectly clear, and it didn’t look like my glasses were cracked, but there was something else in my line of vision besides the cloud-dotted blue sky.

Contrary to what I had originally thought, I was not alone in this…wherever I was. I was being closely observed by a pair of very large, light blue eyes with prominent eyelashes. I felt myself jump, prostrated as I was on the grass. There was also a scent of something strong and sweet. Cotton candy, maybe?

“Hi!”

The voice that met my eardrums was a female’s, very perky and high-pitched.

“I was wondering when you’d get up, sleepy-pants!”

With a groan, I shifted myself into a sitting position, the pain in my head renewing itself, but I could now see my surroundings. I was indeed sitting in grass, a whole field of it, in fact. Off in the distance, I could see a town, more like a village than anything, and the outline of a massive forest further on. I looked around to try and find the person who had spoken to me, but there was no one there.

Instead, there was a small horse or pony, whichever it was, gazing at me intently, but unlike any equine I had ever seen before. I ventured to guess that it was female, due to the eyelashes, as well as the bizarre combination of coat and mane colors she possessed.

First of all, she was pink; a bright, bubble-gum pink, a Pepto-Bismol pink. Her mane was a darker shade, probably magenta. And speaking of her mane, I don’t think I’d ever seen any hairstyle quite so…wild. It was one big frizzy, poofy, unkempt mass, and the tail was little better. She looked as though she slept on a mattress made of balloons. She was about half my size on all fours (I was at least 6 feet tall), and while not exactly fat, she wasn’t quite skinny, either, as she sported a round little belly and curvy hips.

Weirdest of all, on her flank was something like a mark or tattoo: three balloons, two blue and one yellow. That was weird enough, but what was even more mystifying was where my mystery addresser had disappeared to.

The pony was just sitting there on the grass, looking at me and smiling blissfully, as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

...

Wait a minute…

Ponies don’t smile!

What in the world was going on? Why was this pony smiling at me? How was this pony smiling at me?!

I had to say something, otherwise the only thing that would come out of my mouth was a scream. I croaked,

“Are…are you smiling at me?”

My voice, normally deep and mellow, was weak with apprehension. To my horror, not only did the smile widen, but the pony laughed.

Yes, she laughed, in a kind of snorting giggle that, if I had not been so confused, I would have found cute.

“Well, of course I’m smiling at you, silly! How could I be happy if I were frowning? There’s no such thing as a happy frown!” She gasped. “Or is there?”

She tapped a hoof to her chin, deep in thought. Meanwhile, my mind was about to snap in two. This pony wasn’t just talking, she was talking in the exact same voice I had heard upon waking up. She was the one I had been looking for.

The world had gone upside down. I’d officially gone nuts. I must have gone nuts! How could it be otherwise? I’d spoken to a pony that spoke back to me!

It was a lost cause. I let loose with a scream to the heavens, a shout that, in a way, pleaded to God in Heaven to tell me what in the world was going on!

The only reason I stopped was because I noticed the pony screaming as well. However, she was screaming with that big smile on her face, as if this was a game! She stopped when she saw I had stopped.

“Aw, don’t wanna scream anymore?” she asked. “It was kind of fun.”

“W-What are you?” I asked, backing away slightly.

As I did so, I dug my hand into my pocket. I had to call someone: the police, animal control, my parents, anyone! However, with a thrill of horror, I realized my pockets were empty. My phone, my wallet, all of that was gone, and there was no sign of any of it in the grass!

The pony, meanwhile, tilted her head.

“What am I?” she asked. “Well, that’s kind of a silly question, isn’t it? I’m a pony, of course! I should be the one asking what you are. I know you’re not a bird, since you fell right out of the sky, and a bird would have flown instead of dropping like a rock.”

I...fell out of the sky? What kind of nonsense was that?

She trotted over to me and gazed long and hard into my eyes, her lower lip jutting in a thoughtful pout as she examined me. I felt an overpowering urge to yell again, and that cotton candy smell was stronger than ever.

“I’ve never seen anything like you before,” she went on, “and I’ve seen lots of weird things.”

“I’m a...a human,” I managed to say.

“A 'human'?” asked the pony. “I feel like I’ve heard that word before, but where?...”

As she sat on her haunches to ponder over this, my mind was reeling to come up with an answer to what the heck was going on. Was I hallucinating? Was this an alcoholic dream? Not likely, since I didn’t drink. Besides, people claim to see pink elephants when they get intoxicated, not pink ponies. Was this pony even real? Was she a figment of my imagination, like an imaginary friend? No, that couldn’t be it. I never had an imaginary friend, certainly not one as girly-looking as this creature. Still, the question remained: was she real?

I tentatively reached out a hand towards her, and she looked up to observe it curiously.

“Ohh, humans must be like dragons,” she said. “They don’t have hooves, either. So are those claws too? They don’t look like them.”

I placed my hand on her forehead. It felt...warm, soft, slightly furry. The pony smiled and giggled as I ran it over her mane, then over one ear, then down her neck.

“Stop!” she squealed. “You’re tickling me!”

She certainly felt real. Still, wasn’t there even the slightest possibility that this was all a dream?

Yes, that had to be it! People had dreams about falling all the time, so didn’t it stand to reason that there could also be dreams where you were told you fell from the sky?

“Of course!” I said, more to myself, as I got to my feet.

“What?” asked the pony.

“This is all just some crazy dream,” I went on, gesturing to the heavens. “Why else would I ‘fall from the sky’, and find myself talking to a pony with balloons on her butt and who smells like cotton candy?”

“Aww, you noticed my new shampoo!” said the pony, sweetly, but I didn’t even notice her sentiments.

“All that remains to be done,” I said, “is to wake myself up, and what better way to do so than the time-honored practice…of pain?”

I stooped down to pick up a stone sitting in the grass. The pony cocked her head, curious.

“What are you going to do with that?” she asked.

Instead of answering, I gritted my teeth, shut my eyes, and smacked my forehead with the rock.

The pain was real. Very real. Light danced in my head behind my closed eyes. It didn’t help that I’d already had a headache to begin with.

“Ow…” I moaned, rubbing where I’d hit myself. “Well, at least I know I felt that. Now, when I open my eyes, I’ll be back in my own home, and everything will be back to normal…”

I opened my eyes.

They met the pony’s.

She was still there, still looking at me in bemused wonder.

…That wasn’t normal. Not close.

“Why would you do that?” the pony asked. “That couldn’t have felt good for you.”

Oh, this was not good. This was not good at all.

“This...this can’t be happening,” I muttered, staggering back. “Why am I talking to a pink pony that talks back if it’s not a dream? This means...What does this mean?! Where am I?!”

My self-control was completely shattered. I was somewhere I didn’t recognize, far from home, with no means of contacting anyone I knew, stranded with a creature that may as well have been a piece of my imagination. Everything was collapsing around me…

My head began to spin. I was about to pass out, but just as I began to fall backwards, I felt something stop me: a pair of surprisingly soft hooves against my back.

“Whoa there, silly billy!” came the pony’s voice.

(A pony is telling a human to ‘whoa’. Oh, the irony…)

“Don’t conk out on me now," she said, easing me into a sitting position. "You just got here!”

“You don't understand!” I moaned. “This isn’t where I’m supposed to be! My friends, my family! They’re all...all back...home…”

I could feel a cloud of misery rising up within me, and my throat began to sting, as if I had swallowed a lump of coal. My parents, my family, my friends, all of them were back home, and here I was in God knows where. I didn’t even have my phone on me, if reception even worked out here, so I had no means of contacting anyone.

I was alone.

Alone in a strange world.

It was almost too much to bear…

I felt a tear escape my eye and run down my cheek, and I heard the pony give a small gasp.

“Oh... I had no idea. Please don’t cry. I hate seeing a frown, especially if it comes with tears.”

She wrapped her forelegs around me in a hug and drew me close, nuzzling her cheek against mine. She was very warm and soft, as I said, and I couldn’t help but feel comforted, despite the circumstances. She hadn't done me any harm, and though she seemed a bit air-headed, she was also rather kind. She could have bolted at the first sight of me, but she chose to stick around and talk to me, see that I was all right. It was...touching. I could feel my panic at being with a talking pony ebb away.

“There, there,” she cooed, softly. “It’ll be all right.”

“Thank you,” I muttered. “You're very kind, but I still don’t know what’s going on, or how I got here.”

She gently released me, trotted around so that she was facing me, sat down, and asked,

“Well, what were you doing before?”

I paused, trying again to marshal my thoughts and answer that question I myself had been pondering...but nothing came.

“Well, that’s just it,” I said. “I don’t know what I was doing, but I blacked out and woke up out here, where you found me.”

“Where you fell out of the sky.”

This again...

“Did I really?” I asked.

“Uh-huh. I saw you. You plummeted straight down out of a cloud, nyeeeeer, boom!”

She embellished her onomatopoeia by using her hooves to imitate something dropping out of the sky and landing on the ground. I winced.

“I ran out here to see what happened, and it turned out to be you.”

“Huh,” was all I could say at first. Then, I went on, “Well, as weird as that sounds, that might explain why my head hurts. I mean, before I hit myself with the rock, of course. I still have no idea how this happened, how I got here, or how I’m even supposed to get home again. The only thing I can think to do is find someone who has the answer, if there even is an answer. Is there anyone you know who might be able to help me?”

The pony rubbed her chin in thought, and then said, brightly,

“I think there might be! She’s super-brainy! She knows practically everything!”

“Really? That sounds great!”

My excitement at this prospect was eclipsing my unease and anxiety. I felt like I could really trust this pink pony. She was my only hope right now.

“Listen, I feel like we started off on the wrong foot, so do you think we can start over?”

“Sure!” said the pony, smiling. “Should we go back to you lying on the grass and me saying ‘hi’? Or do you want to fall down again?”

“Er, no," I said. “Let’s settle on a shake and exchange of names.”

“Ohh, ok!”

I extended a hand toward her, though I immediately felt foolish doing it, because I realized there and then that she didn’t have hands. That didn’t bother her any, as she stuck out her hoof in the same manner. After a moment's hesitation, I decided to go with it and shook her, erm, hoof.

“My name’s Pinkie Pie,” said the pony, “but you can call me Pinkie.”

Pinkie Pie…I ran the name over in my mind, and almost felt silly saying it to myself. Then again, she was pink. Very, very pink, so it made sense, I suppose.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Pinkie. I’m-”

“Oh, I know your name! It’s David, right?”

"Yeah, that's right, but you can call me Dave."

Hold on, what?

"Wait a second. How could you possibly have known…?”

“It was on this book!”

She held up, in her teeth, a green spiral notebook that had been lying on the grass. Sure enough, there, written on a piece of tape slapped across the otherwise blank cover, was my name: David.

I quickly took it from her and opened it up. It seemed to be in good condition…but the first page had been ripped out.

I looked around the grass, but could see no trace of a torn page. Had it always been like that? With this big empty patch in my memory, it was certainly possible, but still, there was something about this torn area that...bothered me.

“Are you ok?” Pinkie asked.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, tucking the book under my arm. “So, where am I, exactly?”

“You’re in Equestria, and that town way over there-” she pointed with her hoof to the village, “is Ponyville!”

“Ponyville? Equestria?” I asked, unable to entirely disguise my incredulity.

I doubted very much I’d find those on any map of the world back home.

“Uh-huh!” said Pinkie, proudly. “Proud home of Earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi!”

Wait a minute. Did she just say…?

“Unicorns?” I asked. “You mean, ponies with horns? Those exist?”

“Of course!” said Pinkie. “Didn’t you know that? Aren’t there any where you come from?”

“Er, not exactly. And by pegasi, do you mean ponies with wings?”

“Yep-a-roony!” said Pinkie. “How about those? Do you have them where you’re from?”

“Well, no. But what’s an Earth pony?”

“That’s what I am,” said Pinkie. “No horn, no wings, but we don’t mind!”

“Well, we have something like that where I’m from.”

Still, unicorns? Pegasus ponies? Those existed here? Had I landed in some little girl’s fantasy world?

“Well, follow me, and I’ll introduce you to my friend!”

Without giving me time to respond. she bounded away like lightning.

“Hey! Wait up!” I called, racing to keep up with her.

Welcome to Ponyville

When I say that Pinkie bounded away, I really mean ‘bounded away’. She didn’t trot or gallop, she bounced. I’m not joking; she hopped forward like a pronking deer on all four hooves, as if they were made of rubber, humming a merry tune as she did so. It was all I could do to keep up with her. In fact, I was so focused on keeping pace that I didn’t realize we had walked right into the town called Ponyville. I stopped short, unable to believe what I was seeing. I was surrounded by numerous ponies, all of them gazing at me.

They were all a very colorful variety, every color imaginable in their coats and manes, which would have been impossible for normal equines. All had different mane styles, ranging from curly, coiffed, and well-combed to messy, unruly, and unkempt. They were all various sizes as well, from tiny foals to large stallions, but most were about Pinkie’s height and size. I could just see the slight differences between the colts and mares; the females had large eyelashes, curvier figures, and rounded snouts, while the males were more straight-bodied, had no visible eyelashes, and had blunter snouts. Just as Pinkie had said, too, much to my utter amazement, I picked out several unicorns and pegasus ponies among them. They looked just like the other ponies, except the unicorns had pointed horns on their foreheads, and the pegasus ponies had wings on their backs. Creatures thought to have been the product of mythology and little girls' fantasies, and they were in abundance in this land! No one would ever believe it! Even I couldn't believe it!

Lastly, all of them, with the exception of the youngest among them, had those weird marks on their flanks. They all looked like the preview images you’d see at a tattoo parlor, and I wondered just what the heck those images meant. Were they a fashion trend?

The diversity aside, I became once more aware that they were all looking right at me, some out of curiosity, others out of apprehension. A little foal tried to approach me, but a mare, probably its mother, pulled it back. They seemed to be waiting for me to say something, to do something. It was clear that they were on the same level of intelligence as humans, like Pinkie, otherwise they wouldn’t have their own town or country. Still, why couldn’t someone else break the ice? Anything to get rid of the silence.

A brief diversion came in an unexpected form. Over on a park bench, a cream-colored Earth pony with a fluffy blue and pink mane was sitting with a pale-green unicorn with a messy green and white mane. The Earth pony had an image of three wrapped candies on her flank, while the unicorn had one of a harp. Or was that a lyre? The unicorn had been gazing at me intently for a while, and now she let out the most excited gasp I think I’d ever heard before. She grabbed her companion around the neck and was hugging her close to herself, almost crying with joy. I could barely make out that she was shrieking,

“I knew it! I just KNEW it!!”

No other pony seemed to pay her any mind, and all were still gazing at me silently. I felt like I was an animal in a zoo, being gawked at by visitors, come to gaze at some oddity of nature. It was funny how that seemed to be the case when they were the ones I would have found odd. At that moment, Pinkie returned.

“There you are!” she said. “What’s keeping you?”

“Well, it’s kind of hard to keep up with someone who bounces like you do," I said. "Besides, I feel like I just spooked your fellow townsfolk.”

Pinkie glanced about at the other ponies.

“Ooh! This is perfect! I can introduce you to everypony! Everypony, this is Dave, my new friend! He fell from the sky!”

Well, what a way to introduce somebody…

“Hello...everyone,” I said, meekly.

Pinkie had said ‘everypony’. Was I supposed to have said that, too? This was just too weird: I was talking to a bunch of ponies, ponies that could talk back!

The staring didn’t cease, but some looked relieved, others wary. No one made a single movement, either towards or away from me. All we were waiting on baited breath.

“I’m not here to cause any harm,” I said, hoping this would be encouraging. “I come in peace.”

The ponies began muttering excitedly to each other, and while I didn’t catch everything, what I did catch didn't sound unpleasant.

“He’s very polite,” one mare said.

“He doesn’t seem dangerous,” added a stallion.

“It’s a human! An honest-to-goodness human!”

"I thought they were just a myth..."

“I wonder if Princess Celestia knows…”

Suddenly, I felt a tug at the leg of my jeans. Pinkie had attracted my attention to point at a pony approaching. She seemed a middle-aged mare, tan with a gray mane and half-moon spectacles. The image of a sealed scroll decorated her flank. She stopped in front of me and gazed up at me in a scrutinizing manner.

“You’re a human, are you not?” she asked, crisply.

“Yes.”

“What do you call yourself?”

“Dave, ma’am.”

“Well, Dave, as mayor of Ponyville-”

At this, I stiffened. I was addressing the mayor? Things just got serious.

“-I can say with certainty that, if the stories hold true, you are the first human in Equestria in many, many years, and certainly the first ever in Ponyville.”

So they did know about humans, to an extent. Did that mean I was still on Earth, and just on some long-forgotten continent no one bothered to map, or was I in another world entirely, flung from the comfort of home into an alternate universe? Both sounded extremely far-fetched, but then again, I was talking to pastel-colored equines with pictures on their rears.

“Then, I’m not the first ever?" I asked.

"Not to my knowledge," said the mayor. "Understand that we ponies know very little about your kind, even in past times. If you do come in peace, then perhaps you can give a proper account of yourself. Where do you come from, and why are you here?"

I looked from her to the ponies gathered around. All were looking straight at me again. What was I supposed to say? What could I say? I’d already tried to remember what had happened and why I was here, and had come up blank.

"Well?" asked the mayor.

"Well, see, that's the thing. I'm from Earth-"

"Are you saying you don't think this is Earth?" asked the mayor, shrewdly.

"No, no! I never said that! I mean, I don't quite know how this happened, either. I don't even remember what I was doing before I got here. It’s all one big blur."

The mayor raised an eyebrow. This was clearly not a satisfactory answer.

"I know, I know it sounds bad," I said, "but I swear, I don't remember. All I know is I woke up outside of town, and Pinkie Pie here found me."

I gestured to the pink pony, who smiled.

"She says I fell out of the sky, which even I have a hard time believing, but I can't see any other way I could have ended up here."

The mayor continued to look at me long and hard. Some ponies began talking among themselves, some even laughing.

"I see," said the mayor. "Well, if that's all you have to go on, there is not much else we can do about it. If Pinkie Pie here agrees to claim responsibility for your well-being, then that will have to suffice."

Then, inexplicably, a small smile appeared on her face.

"You don't seem like a bad sort, so I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. After all, you're the first human we have had the honor of having in our little town. Welcome to Ponyville, Mr. Dave."

As if urged on by her words, many ponies in the crowd burst into sundry exclamations of “Welcome!” and “Hello!”, their faces lighting up with bright, cheery smiles.

It was such a warm welcome, and by such good-natured creatures, that I hardly knew what to say. Even after the mayor's suspicions, she was still allowing me to stay, at least until I got some answers, and had even encouraged such behavior in her townsfolk. It seemed too good to be true.

I looked down at Pinkie, who was beaming up at me. I returned the smile, the first genuine one I really had since this whole mess started. The ponies dispersed back to their doings, though they occasionally glanced back at me and Pinkie, talking excitedly.

“They like you already!” said Pinkie.

“Wow. I must admit, that went pretty well. I was afraid they’d think I was dangerous. But there really have been humans in Equestria before?”

“I guess so. Twilight’s usually the one to turn to for that smarty-brainy stuff.”

“Twilight?”

“She’s the friend who might be able to answer your big ‘what-happened’ question! She’s one of my bestest best pals! And I’ve got 6 of them!”

“Wow. That’s quite a lot.”

“I know, right? I’m gonna introduce you to all of them!”

“Well, now, wait a minute," I said. "I just want to know how I got here and how to get back. I don’t want to cause a huge hassle here.”

“Aw, please?” asked Pinkie, pouting sadly.

Now that face was too cute to just say no to. Besides, she seemed very earnest about it, and seemed to trust me enough to introduce me, so what else could I do but humor her? I sighed.

“It would be an honor to meet your ‘bestest-best’ friends,” I said, with a gracious bow.

“YAY!” she squealed. “First stop, Twilight’s house: the Golden Oak Library! Come on, Davie, time’s a-wasting!”

With that, and again, without waiting for me, she bolted off. Sighing wearily, both from this, and from having somehow earned the nickname ‘Davie’, I hurried after her.

At the mention of a library, I was actually quite interested. I was an avid reader, especially of the classics, and if this ‘Twilight’ had something to do with the library, she might be a pony I wouldn’t be sorry to meet, if not just for the possibility of answers.

As we went, Pinkie pointed out various landmarks, like the mayor's office, or the sweet shop. She must have been trying to give me a tour along the way. However, she was so far ahead of me that I could barely make out which building she was talking about at what time.

In due course, we arrived at what looked like a large tree, but it was outfitted with a door, balcony, and several windows. There was even a sizable beehive hanging from one of its branches. Pinkie bounced right up to the door and knocked. No one answered. Undeterred, she knocked again.

“Twilight? Spike?” she called. “Anypony home?”

“Spike? Who’s Spike?” I asked. “Her pet dog?”

“Don’t be silly, silly! Spike’s Twilight’s dragon friend!”

She said this completely matter-of-factly, but that didn’t stop me staggering back in shock.

“D-Dragon?? There’s dragons in this country??”

“Yepperoony!”

She turned to look at me, and saw how pensive I was.

“Oh. Sorry, I should have said before. He’s only a baby dragon.”

“Er…how much consolation is that, exactly?”

Pinkie giggled.

“Relax, silly! If he were dangerous, would he be one of my friends?”

This dragon was one of her friends? Looking at how nutty this pony seemed to be, I shouldn’t have been surprised.

“I suppose not,” I said.

“He’s just the sweetest, cutest little guy you’ll ever meet! But it doesn’t look like they’re home.”

She peered through one of the windows.

“They usually never leave the library at this time of day, and even then, Spike’s usually here to watch it. Ohh, I really hope nothing bad happened. Twilight hasn’t been hitting the books, has she? I told her she should just read them instead of hitting them…”

I cast Pinkie a quizzical glance at this statement, but decided to drop it. It figured that the one pony who could possibly answer my question was not answering her door. Did this mean I wasn’t going to be going home anytime soon? What was I supposed to do?

“Are you ok, Davie?” Pinkie asked. “You look worried.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry, Pinkie. I was just thinking. What if this Twilight doesn’t have the answers I’m looking for? What if we’re back to square one about my situation? I could be stranded in an unknown land, all alone for who knows how long…”

“But you’re not all alone!” said Pinkie, coming to my side. “You’ve got me, and I’m not going to just abandon you like that. What kind of friend would I be if I did that?”

I looked down at her in some surprise.

“You actually want to be my friend?” I asked. “I know you said so earlier, but I didn’t think you were serious.”

“What do you mean?” asked Pinkie. “I always mean what I say.”

“But why? I’m nothing like what you ponies are used to. I don’t have hooves or a coat of fur or one of those butt symbols or anything!”

“Butt symbols?” Pinkie asked, puzzled, before exclaiming, in realization, “Ohh, you mean our cutie marks!”

Cutie marks? Oh, good grief...

“Yeah, those. Point is, what makes me stand out to you as a friend, when you don’t know anything about me, and all I’ve done is freak out and scream?”

Pinkie stepped away from my side and sat in front of me, on her haunches, looking me straight in the eye with a sober expression that belied her silly appearance.

“Because I feel like I can trust you. I can see something in your eyes, in your face. You’ve got a ‘nice guy’ face to you, one that wouldn’t belong to a meany-pants.”

Curious, I felt my face, along my chin and cheeks. It was true, I had been told I looked ‘harmless’, but I hardly knew what that was supposed to entail: kind of pouchy cheeks, soft brown eyes behind a pair of glasses, heavy brows, thin beard. I figured mine was a typical “nerd” face, belonging to a quiet, sort of geeky type of person.

Pinkie, still with that oddly serious expression on her face, reared up, and put her forelegs around me.

“I’ll be here for you,” she said, softly, “and look after you until we find the answers you need. That’s what friends do, and I want to be your friend.”

I stared down at her, surprised. She was dedicating herself to the well-being of someone she barely knew, someone who literally dropped out of the sky before her, someone who could have been potentially dangerous, not even asking for anything in return.

“You really want to be my friend?” I asked again. “You want to look after me?”

“I do,” said Pinkie. “Will you be my friend too?”

She looked up at me with with those big, baby-blue eyes and that smile. Now I knew what she meant when she spoke about faces one could trust. I could really see someone I could rely on in this pony: a companion, a protector...a friend.

“...Yes,” I said, finally. “However long I may be here, I would be honored to call you my friend.”

Pinkie’s face lit up like a lighthouse beacon, and she tightened her embrace, while I in turn put my arms around her. Her tail wagged happily.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

I don’t know how long we stood that way, but eventually we released each other, and I was feeling a little better.

“Well, if Twilight’s not home,” I said, “what do we do now?”

“I know exactly what we can do!” said Pinkie. “I can introduce you to the rest of my friends! They shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

Well, there was nothing else to do for now, so it was the only option we had.

“Lead on, then, Pinkie,” I said.

“Yes, sir, Davie, sir!” said Pinkie, saluting.

With a bound, she began bouncing away again, and all I could do was rush after her, trying to keep up.

Author's Notes:

*I felt this chapter needed a touch-up, so I edited Dave's first entrance into Ponyville with the mayor asking more of him. Hope that fits better than just being accepted on the spot. ^^;

A Dash of Rainbow

As we went along, Pinkie kept looking up at the clouds, as if expecting to see something up there. Perhaps one of her friends was a pegasus. Suddenly, she pulled to a stop, so quickly that I stumbled againt her.

“Pinkie, what-”

“There!”

She pointed excitedly with her hoof. I looked up, and for a second, I could have sworn the cloud she was indicating was letting loose a rainbow far away. But Pinkie called out, “Rainbow DAAAASH!” in a loud singsong, and the rainbow twitched.

It was a pony’s tail!

There was a noise like the roar of a jet plane as something left the cloud, making it dissipate, and a rainbow trail seemed to emanate from the spot. With a flap of wings and clatter of hooves, a female pegasus pony landed in front of us.

She was Pinkie’s size, but slimmer in build, with a light-blue coat, magenta-colored eyes, and a messy mane and tail streaked with all of the colors of the rainbow. Her cutie mark, as Pinkie said those things on their flanks were called, resembled a cloud letting loose a rainbow-colored lightning bolt.

“Hey, Pinks! What’s going on?” she asked.

Her voice was raspy and rather boyish. When she had landed, she had hardly taken notice of me, but when she finally did, she jumped about a foot in the air. Then, landing back on all four hooves, she took a defensive stance, glaring suspiciously at me. Honestly, if I hadn’t been so nervous of what she might do to me, I’d have said she looked kind of cute when she was riled.

“What’s going on here?” she asked. “Is this big ape giving you a hard time? I’ll fix him for ya!”

She pawed the ground, looking about ready to charge, so I couldn’t resist flinching backwards.

“Dashie, it’s ok!” said Pinkie. “He’s my newest friend!”

The pegasus looked up at Pinkie, a look of incredulity on her face.

“Friend? Boy, Pinkie, I knew you made friends with everypony, but I never expected this.”

She nodded with her head towards me, and I couldn’t help but feel insulted at being referred to as ‘this’.

“He’s not a monster, Rainbow Dash,” said Pinkie, exasperated. “He’s a human.”

“A human?” asked Rainbow Dash, surprised. “Come on, Pinkie. There hasn't been a human in Equestria in forever! They're just an old pony’s tale these days.”

"Well, not anymore," said Pinkie, proudly. "Thanks to Davie, here."

“'Davie'? You already named it?”

Rainbow Dash put a hoof to her temple in exasperation.

“Pinkie…you’re not supposed to name these things.”

“But Rainbow, he isn’t-”

“Once you name it, you start getting attached to it!”

This was too much for me. Insulted and angry, I said,

“Now hold on a second! You’ve got a lot of nerve, miss! I’m not some brainless animal who feasts on tree leaves and does his business in the bushes. Pinkie didn’t catch me or train me or even name me; she found me out in the fields! If you'd just let her explain everything, this wouldn't be happening right now!”

Rainbow Dash took a step back, floored by my tone. Pinkie looked between the two of us with apprehension on her face, worried of what might follow. However, I felt no desire to pursue the course like a ranting lunatic, so I sighed and said, in a calmer tone,

“I can understand why you’d feel mistrustful of me. When I first saw Pinkie here, I wasn’t sure what to think. There are no talking ponies where I come from, so it was kind of a shock to me. I’m not here to cause anyone problems. I’m just looking for a way back, however long that may take. So, what do you say? Can we start over?”

I held out my hand to her. Rainbow Dash looked from it to me, then to Pinkie, who was still watching steadily. At last, her eyes on me, she said,

“Yeah, maybe I did fly off the handle a bit. See, in Cloudsdale, we were told stuff about humans: things that look like hairless apes. We trusted the sky more than the ground, and there were never any sightings of humans in the sky, so we never really bothered to find out more about them. We just assumed what was passed around and taught to us from the old history books.”

So it was just a big, widespread misunderstanding…but what was ‘Cloudsdale’?

“You don’t seem bad," Rainbow Dash went on, "and if Pinkie trusts you, I guess I can too. She can be pretty weird sometimes- no offense, Pinkie-”

“None taken!” said Pinkie, cheerily.

“But she’s never wrong about this kinda thing.”

She looked up at me with a smile and held out a hoof. Pinkie beamed. I smiled back and finally shook hers.

“Glad we could settle that," I said. "So, you’re one of Pinkie’s best friends?”

“Yep!” she said, throwing a hoof around Pinkie’s shoulders. “Pinkie’s one of my best buds, especially when it’s a good day for pranking.”

“Aw, Dashie,” said Pinkie.

“Pranking?” I asked. “I didn’t take you for a prankster, Pinkie.”

“Oh, I love pranking, as long as it’s in good fun. It’s no fun pranking if you hurt the prankee.”

“What kind of pranks are we talking about?" I asked. "Whoopie cushions, joy buzzers, invisible ink?”

“For your soft-core pranking, maybe,” said Rainbow Dash, “but if you wanna be remembered as a prank master, you gotta step up your game. Next April Fools Day, the Pinkster and I are breaking out the big guns!”

Big-gun-style pranking? I shuddered to imagine such a thing.

“So tell me about you, big guy,” said Rainbow. “I’m kinda curious about what makes a human tick, if you’re not like what we've thought they'd be. What do humans like to do?”

“Me? Well, gosh, I wouldn’t really know where to start. There’s kind of a gaping hole in my memory at the moment; can’t recall how I got here or what I was doing.”

“Really? Wow, lame.”

“Sorry, I know. It’s no fun for me, either. What I can say is that I’m not much of an outdoors person. I prefer reading indoors, or listening to music.”

“Ohh,” said Rainbow, comprehending. “An egghead.”

“Excuse me?” I asked, indignantly.

“No, Davie, it’s ok,” said Pinkie. “She calls Twilight that sometimes, but not to be mean.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t mean anything,” said Rainbow. “Heck, I like reading too. Nothing to be ashamed of. Still, where I’m at my best is in the air, showing my stuff with these babies!”

She flexed her wings, which had an impressive span, and gave the impression of a mighty eagle about to take flight. Still, from her tone and expression, I could sense quite a bit of ego sharing space with her more well-meaning attitude.

“So, you’re into sports?” I asked.

“Heck yeah! Racing, mostly. Nopony can beat me when I’m in the air. See this baby?”

She turned to the side, showing the lightning bolt cutie mark on her flank.

“This means I was born to be the fastest in Equestria!”

“Is that what a...what did you call it, Pinkie?”

“Cutie mark," supplied Pinkie.

“Ah, right. Is that what a cutie mark does? Tells you what you’re born to be?”

“You don’t know about cutie marks?” asked Rainbow Dash, tilting her head. “Don’t the ponies back where you come from have anything like them?”

“No.”

“Huh," said Rainbow Dash. "Weird. Pinks, you wanna field this one?”

“Sure, Dashie!”

Pinkie turned to me with a purposeful expression, much like a schoolteacher before a class. Not only that, but she also pulled, from out of nowhere, a chalkboard, a pointer stick, and a mortarboard, which she perched atop her messy mane.

“Davie, just sit tight and let Professor Pinkie Pie educate you,” she said, tapping the board.

(Professor Pinkie Pie. Oh brother.)

“Y’see, ponies aren’t born with cutie marks. Their flanks are blank. Buuuut, when they find out what makes them special, boom! A cutie mark appears! Good at writing? Boom! Writing cutie mark! Good at swimming? Boom! Swimming cutie mark! Good at baking? Boom! Baking cutie mark!

(I wish you’d stop saying ‘boom’ like that so close to my ear…)

“So, what do yours and Rainbow Dash’s stand for?” I asked.

“Well, like Dashie said, hers means she’s really good at flying fast," said Pinkie. "Mine means I’m good at throwing parties!”

“Parties?”

“Uh-huh! Any kind of party: surprise, birthday, slumber, holiday, get well, you name it, I can throw it! And you wanna know the best part about throwing so many parties?”

“What’s that?”

“All of my best friends are always there, cuz everypony’s my friend, and I mean everypony, and I get to make all of them smile! If smiles were money, I’d feel like the richest pony in Ponyville, but I’m already the luckiest to have such great friends!”

Rainbow Dash smiled at her pink friend, while I couldn’t help feeling slightly stunned. Pinkie’s niche in life was making those around her happy, and all she wanted in return was the knowledge that she made them smile? That was...very admirable. It was very rare that I knew anyone who expended everything in their power to get something done just to see a smile on someone’s face. The world needed more people like Pinkie Pie…

“Davie?”

“Huh?”

“You keep spacing out," said Pinkie. "You sure you’re ok?”

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry. Once I get hooked on a thought, it takes a bit to get me out of it.” I cleared my throat and went on, “So, you race for a living, Rainbow Dash?”

“It’s more of a hobby, really,” she said. “All pegasi, or most, anyway, operate the clouds for day-to-day weather. I’m chief weathermare in Ponyville.”

“Oh, I see.”

…Wait, what did she say?

“Whoa-whoa, wait a second…operate the clouds? You’re telling me the weather doesn’t work by itself?”

“Nope. Does it where you come from?”

“Uh, yeah," I said, unable to keep a 'no duh' tone out of my voice. "That’s how it’s always been for us.”

“Wow," said Rainbow. "No offense, dude, but you come from a pretty weird place: ponies that don’t talk, don’t have cutie marks, and don’t work the weather.”

(I’M the weird one?! This coming from a pony with a Skittles mane.)

“We make and send out all weather from Cloudsdale,” Rainbow went on. “That’s the pegasus capital, in case you didn’t know.”

“Wow," I said. "I never thought I’d see the day when the weather couldn’t even handle itself. They’ll love this back home…So, is that all pegasus ponies do? Work the weather and fly?”

“Nah,” said Rainbow. “When I’m not busting clouds or busting moves-”

“Or napping,” Pinkie interjected.

“Or napping,” Rainbow consented, giving Pinkie a dirty look, before continuing, in a more zealous tone, “I train for my next big chance.”

“Chance at what?”

“Trying out for the Wonderbolts!”

She pointed with her hoof to a poster on a building nearby. On it were pegasi in blue bodysuits and aviator goggles, one flying so as to leave a trail of smoke behind it.

“Wonderbolts?" I asked. "Are they like stunt performers?”

“More than that, dude! They're the best fliers in all of Equestria!”

“And you want to be one of them?”

“It’s only been my dream since fillyhood!” said Rainbow, her face splitting into a blissful grin. “To fly with the best of the best, and show Equestria my skills!”

She broke out of her dreamy look almost instantly when I spoke up again.

“So, you plan to be one of them just because you’re born to fly fast? I mean, no offense, but what would you have to offer?”

“Plenty!” said Rainbow, sharply. “I’m not just about speed, monkey boy: I can pull off tricks like nopony else! You haven’t lived until you’ve seen my Fantastic Filly Flash, or my Buccaneer Blaze!”

“Or your Sonic Rainboom!” said Pinkie.

“Sonic what-now?” I asked.

“Ahh, right,” said Rainbow, proudly. “My most awesome technique. I’ve only done it three times in my life, the first when I was only a filly. It’s how I got this.”

She once again showed me her cutie mark.

“It was during a big race against some jerky colts who were picking on a friend of mine. One of them cut me off, so I went into a wicked nose-dive, and the next thing I knew, I had pulled off a Sonic Rainboom.”

“But what is a Sonic Rainboom?” I asked, intrigued.

Rainbow looked aghast.

“You don’t know what a…? You’ve never seen a…?!”

She sounded like she was about to choke. She gripped me by the shoulders and shouted,

“What rock have you been living under, dude?!”

(A rock called the ‘real world’, missy.)

“Dashie,” said Pinkie, patiently. “He’s not from here. They probably don’t have Sonic Rainbooms where he’s from.”

Rainbow released me and said, in a calmer tone,

“Ok, monkey man, I’ll try to explain it in a way you can understand.”

(If you call me a monkey one more time…)

”Imagine a sonic boom and a rainbow, mixed together into one big feast for the eyes and ears,” said Rainbow, with great reverential enthusiasm in her voice.

In my head, I pictured a supersonic jet breaking the sound barrier, leaving a rainbow trail behind it as it did so. That did sound really impressive, to have done something like that when she was so young. She may have been boastful, but she looked like she was just itching for me to say ‘Prove it’.

“Well, from what you’ve described, Rainbow Dash,” I said, “I may have to redact my skepticism.”

“How’s that?” asked Rainbow. “And in normal words this time.”

“At least where I come from, you would make an invaluable team member with a move like that. It’d drive the crowds wild at air shows, or wherever these Wonderbolts perform. It even has a nice ring to it: ‘Rainbow Dash, the Wonderbolt’.”

I made a small sweeping gesture with my hand, like people do when they envision newspaper headlines. She looked at me for a moment, and then smiled again.

“You know something, new guy?” she asked. “You’re all right.”

She gave me a punch on the arm with her hoof, in a playful way, but it was still somewhat forceful.

“I can’t wait for us to hang out some more,” she went on.

“Well, I’d love to see some of your tricks," I said, without thinking.

“Then I’ll save the best for ya. Later, guys!”

With a sweep of her mighty wings, she took off back toward the clouds, Pinkie waving after her.

“Boy,” I said, “that pegasus is something else.”

“Isn’t she? There’s nopony in Equestria like Dashie.”

With an ego like hers, thank God for that.

At that moment, my stomach let forth a loud rumble. I’d lost track of time, and it must have been close to midday by that point. At this, I was brought to a sudden, somewhat unpleasant realization. I was in a world populated by talking ponies. There was no way they would have any form of meat to eat, which was a shame, because I was no dainty when it came to carnivorous consumption. On the other hand, I wasn’t too far gone down that path (meaning I could satisfy myself with non-meats if need be), and, if there was nothing else for it, I would have to settle for the more vegetarian diets these ponies would have to offer.

At any rate, Pinkie had heard my dissatisfied innards and had hopped to her hooves in a flash.

“Oh! You must be hungry! Well, there’s only one way to solve that! Actually, there’s two ways, but I’ll let you choose. One is we could go to Sugarcube Corner, where I work, and the other is we could go see another of my friends at Sweet Apple Acres, which is an apple farm.”

“Well, if it’s all the same to you, Pinkie," I said, "I’d rather kill two birds with one stone and-”

At this, Pinkie gasped.

“Why would you want to kill any birds at all??”

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

“It’s an expression, Pinkie, and I’ll admit, it’s a bit vulgar. What I meant was, going to this Sweet Apple Acres might get two objectives accomplished at once: meeting another of your friends and getting some food in me.”

“Yay! Smart thinking! That’s what I would have said! Come on, then, Davie! It’s this way!”

I had barely enough time to scramble to my feet before she bounced off again, myself not too far behind.

An Apple Family Brunch

Rustic.

That was the one word I could come up with as we approached Sweet Apple Acres, which was around a mile or so outside of town. It was an old-fashioned apple farm, with a big barn and windmill and everything, but those were just the usual fixings. The rest of the land was devoted to row upon row upon row upon row of apple trees, of all the sizes and colors I recognized apples usually were. However, there was something about these apples that astounded me. They seemed…fresher and juicier in appearance than the apples I saw at the local grocery store. The smell coming from them was intoxicatingly sweet and fragrant, and made me hungrier.

“One of your friends works here?” I asked Pinkie, as we stopped under a tree.

“Yep! I just hope she’s not too busy right now.”

“If she is, it might be a good idea not to disturb her,” I said. “Farm work can’t be easy for even one-OW!!”

I was interrupted unpleasantly. Something had knocked against the tree with a loud thud, and a big, ripe apple had clonked me right on the crown of my head, followed by dozens more, which landed into buckets set around the trees. I hadn’t noticed those before.

“Pinkie, what did you do that for?!” I snapped, rubbing my head.

“That wasn’t me!” said Pinkie, defensively.

“Whoops! Sorry, ya’ll. Didn’t know anyone was back there.”

The voice that said this was a hardy female’s, bearing a thick Southern accent. An Earth pony stepped out from the other side of the tree. Her coat was orange, with a straw-yellow mane and tail loosely tied up like, heaven forgive me for making such an obvious pun, ponytails. She had green eyes, small white freckles on her cheeks, and a brown Stetson hat on her head. Her cutie mark was a trio of red apples. She had a stout, stocky build, one that seemed appropriate for strenuous labor. Her expression, on the other hand, was very friendly and inviting, as if she were someone you could talk to about anything.

“Howdy, Pinkie Pie!” she said, recognizing my companion. "What brings ya round these...parts?"

This last word, separated by a pause, was spoken as she caught sight of me, and she gave something of a start. She looked me over, staring from my sneaker-clad feet to my head, and gave a low whistle.

“Land sakes…” she said, in a low voice. “Yer a...a human, ain’tcha?”

“Er, yes, I am,” I said.

”Ah never imagined Ah’d be seein’ an honest-to-goodness human in mah born days. Thought they were just one of Granny’s stories.”

“AJ, this is Dave,” said Pinkie. “He fell out of the sky!”

She said this so proudly and matter-of-factly that the Earth pony gave her a weird look, but said nothing.

“Davie, this is Applejack," she went on.

“It’s a pleasure,” I said, extending my hand.

Next second, I found myself jittering as if I were inside a blender. Applejack had taken my hand in both of her hooves and was shaking it vigorously. She had surprising strength in those legs of hers.

“Same to you, sugar!" she said, beaming. "We here at Sweet Apple Acres always like making new friends, even if they ain’t exactly ponies, and if yer pals with Pinkie, then Ah reckon that's good enough for me.”

She finally released my hand, which I was quite glad of.

“So, what brings ya'll 'round here?”

“We’ve got a hunger crisis on our hands, AJ!” said Pinkie, in a surprisingly serious tone. “Poor Davie’s gonna starve if we don’t get something for his belly soon!”

I rolled my eyes.

“It’s not that serious, Pinkie,” I said, but Applejack chuckled.

“So ya’ll came to see me for some vittles? Ah suppose we did make a fair bit more than need be, in case any neighbors showed up, and we were about to break for lunch, so Ah don’t see why not.”

“Aw, now, I don’t want to impose-”

“You ain’t imposin’. Ah’m sure mah family would be glad to have ya, and Pinkie Pie’s practically family as well. Follow me.”

I was about to protest, but Pinkie nudged me forward, and all I could was comply. We followed Applejack past more apple trees until we reached the barn, more specifically a farm house settled beside it. From inside, the smell of something hot and sweet wafted through the open window, assaulting my nostrils with a wonderful sensation.
Applejack led the way inside, calling out,

“Granny! Set the table for two more! We’ve got guests!”

“All righty, Applejack,” came an old woman’s creaky voice. “Who’s come?”

“Pinkie Pie and a new friend of hers. He’s not quite from these parts.”

Now there was the understatement of the century…

“Big Macintosh!” called the voice. “We’re gonna need two more chairs. Applejack’s brought company!”

“All right, Granny,” called a deep, drawling voice.

“Are you sure I’m not imposing?” I asked, unsure.

“Don’t you fret,” said Applejack, kindly. “It’ll be our pleasure.”

“You’re very kind to open your door to a stranger, let alone one like me.”

“Well, Pinkie Pie seems to think you’re all right, so who am Ah to argue?”

I looked down at Pinkie. First the mayor, then Rainbow Dash, now Applejack? Did everyone see her as an infallible judge of character?

There was a thud of something wooden through the door nearby, and then the elderly voice called,

“Come and get it!”

Applejack led us into the kitchen, where a table was already set for six, with plates, utensils, and big platters and bowls full of what appeared to be baked goods all made from apples. It made me wonder if this family ever got tired of them.

Applejack’s relatives were already there, and looked up as we entered, their eyes widening in astonishment upon seeing me.

“Dave," said Applejack, "Ah’d like you to meet mah brother, Big Macintosh, mah sister, Apple Bloom, and mah grandma, Granny Smith.”

Big Macintosh was a stallion close to my own height, with a strong, sturdy look about him. He had a red coat and orange mane, with green eyes, a rather mellow look about him, and freckles like Applejack. His cutie mark was a green apple split in half. Apple Bloom was a little yellow filly with orange eyes and a red mane done up with a large pink bow. Unlike the others, she had no cutie mark. I hadn’t seen a filly this close before, and, if I was to be perfectly honest...she was downright cute, like a little puppy. Granny Smith was an elderly green mare with her white mane and tail done up in buns. Her cutie mark was an apple pie. Despite her tired, wrinkled face, she looked the most astonished to see me, while Apple Bloom was gazing with wide-eyed wonder, and Big Macintosh merely elevated his eyebrows in curiosity.

“Everypony,” said Applejack, “this here’s Dave. Pinkie Pie here’s showing him around Ponyville, and he decided to stop by and say howdy.”

“It’s ok, everypony,” said Pinkie. “He’s harmless.”

“Er, how do you do?” I said, shyly.

Big Macintosh nodded pleasantly, and Apple Bloom smiled adorably up at me. Granny Smith, on the other hand, looked at me with intense attentiveness. I wondered if she thought I was going to attack them; Hell hath no fury like a protective matriarch. Finally, she said,

“You a human, sonny?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Figured so. I'd heard tales from my own grand-folks, but I never thought I’d see me a human in Equestria in my own lifetime. Ain’t ever been one in Ponyville before, but you look like how mah grand-folks described them in the old tales.”

“And, er...what were those humans like?”

“Mm...can’t quite remember, to be honest, but you seem like a nice enough feller, and if Applejack trusts ya, Ah don’t see why Ah shouldn’t.”

Her wrinkled face cracked into a smile. Applejack let out a sigh of relief. It seemed like she had been on tenterhooks to hear her grandmother’s judgement.

“That’s very gracious of you, Miss Granny Smith,” I said.

“All right, ya’ll,” cut in Applejack, “let’s get eatin’ before the grub gets cold.”

With enthusiastic assent, the Apple family settled down to eat. Little Apple Bloom had insisted on sitting beside me, so Applejack took to my other side, and Pinkie sat between her and Big Macintosh, who sat quite at his ease next to Granny Smith despite his size. The first bite I took of the apple pie...how could I even describe it? It was heavenly! The sweet taste of fresh-picked, baked apples, mixed with cinnamon and light, flaky pie crust...It was like a choir singing an aria in my mouth, and it took me a while to will myself to finish chewing and swallow. It was also then that I noticed that Apple Bloom was plugging me with questions.

“So, where do ya come from, mister? Is it far from here? What’s it like? Are there more like you? What are the ponies there like? Gosh, Ah can’t wait to tell mah friends about this!”

“Hush, Apple Bloom,” said Applejack. “Don’t badger the poor feller.”

“Ah wasn’t badgering him,” said Apple Bloom, defensively.

“Well, can’t ya see he’s tryin’ to eat?”

“Oh. Sorry, mister.”

“It’s fine, Apple Bloom,” I finally said. “In fact, it’s nice to know ponies have an interest in where humans come from, instead of just seeing us as weird aliens.”

“Back in my grand-pappy’s day,” said Granny Smith, “he used to tell us how he heard about humans off in the distant corners of Equestria, but anypony that had sighted them either never came back or didn’t believe what they saw. Never did find out if them stories were true.”

“Eeyup,” said Big Macintosh, in his deep voice.

And...that was it. That was all he had to say? 'Eeyup'?

"Not very encouragin' for your sake," said Applejack, snapping my attention back into place.

“I can imagine,” I muttered. “Stories like that kinda makes me sound like a boogeyman. I don’t even know where Equestria lies compared to where I come from.”

“Where do you come from?” asked Apple Bloom.

“A country called America.”

“A-mare-ica?” asked the filly, tilting her head. “Does that mean there’s lots of ponies there too?”

“Huh?” I asked, puzzled, before the meaning of her words hit me. “Ohh! Oh. No, no, Apple Bloom, I didn’t mean ‘mer’ as in ‘mare’. It was named that by an explorer who mapped it. There are ponies there, but, uh...they don’t talk, fly, or anything.”

“Really?” asked Applejack. “Must be right dull for them. So this ‘America’ only has mute Earth ponies?”

“And horses, yeah, but don’t get me wrong: they can be very hard-working when they need to be.”

“Now that’s what Ah like to hear,” said Applejack, smiling. “And none of them dress up or nothin’?”

“Not really, except for very special circumstances, though I kinda like the way you pull off the Stetson look, Applejack.”

“Aw, thanks,” said Applejack, modestly, giving the brim of her hat a tug. “Ah just couldn’t help imagin’ Rarity goin’ nuts tryin’ to gussey up yer ‘American’ ponies.”

“Rarity?” I asked.

“She’s one of our friends. She runs Ponyville’s fashion boutique. Kind of a priss, but she’s got a good head on her shoulders.”

“Don’t worry, Davie. That’ll be our next stop, I promise!” said Pinkie, sounding as if I were sorely missing out on something.

“Really, Pinkie, there’s no need to get so worked up,” I said.

“In fact, I Pinkie Promise!” she said, emphatically, acting as if she hadn’t heard me. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

She went through the motions of crossing her heart with her hoof, then placing that hoof over one eye. Applejack nudged my side and muttered,

“Word of advice, sugarcube: when you make a Pinkie Promise, you stick to it. Otherwise, things might turn ugly.”

“Did you say something, Applejack?” Pinkie asked, sweetly.

“Nuthin’, Pinkie,” said Applejack, with a rather fixed grin.

No more was said on the subject, but I was curious. Things might turn ugly if you broke a Pinkie Promise? What did that mean, exactly? Was Pinkie so adamant about promises that she would personally punish anyone who broke them? Honestly, I couldn’t imagine this plump little pony performing any kind of physical harm on anyone.

“So, Applejack?” I piped up.

“Yeah?”

“We ran into Rainbow Dash before we came here.”

Applejack grinned.

“Did ya now? Ah hope she didn’t bore ya’ll with another of her ‘why Ah’m so awesome’ rambles.”

“Nah, though she did seem to take great pains to magnify her image. Is she always like that?

“Yeah, but don’t let it fool ya. She’s got a big ego, and she can be pretty dern arrogant, but under all that, Rainbow’s got a good heart. Always there for a pony in a pinch.”

“Sounds like she’d make quite a town hero.”

“Oh, she was, for a time, and still is now and then, but give her enough leeway, and she’ll let it get to her head.”

“Really? She did come off as kind of a braggart. She said she pulled off some ‘Sonic Rainboom’ when she was only a filly.”

“Heh, yeah, that girl’s always had a competitive streak, but she was born to race. Says so right on her flank.”

“You mean her cutie mark? So yours means you’re born to work this farm?”

“Yep, and dern proud of it. We Apples have always been orchard folk, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Right, Granny?”

“Darn tootin’!” said Granny.

“Eeyup,” said Big Macintosh.

I couldn’t help but smile at this. I may not have had a clear idea of what it was like to work on an orchard when one had the enthusiasm for it, but this family seemed to cherish their livelihoods with a passion. They were so honest, so friendly. They seemed like the perfect group to call your neighbors.

A small, disappointed sigh came from Apple Bloom, and I looked down at her.

“What’s wrong, Apple Bloom?”

“Ah think Ah know,” said Applejack, in a slightly wearied tone. “She’s still a little sore cuz she doesn’t have her own cutie mark yet. She ain’t the only one, either.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Me and mah best friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo,” said Apple Bloom, looking up at me. “We're Cutie Mark Crusaders.”

“Cutie Mark Crusaders? Is it like a secret club?”

“Sorta. Used to be, but it ain’t really a secret no more We go out and try to discover our talents by doing whatever we can. The only problem is…”

She trailed off.

“You’ve tried nearly everything at this point?” I supplied.

She nodded sadly.

Poor Apple Bloom. Even if I only knew a smattering about cutie marks, it hurt my heart to see such a cute little kid looking so disheartened. I wasn’t much for consolatory speeches, or for saying anything at all, for that matter. I was much more verbose on paper or by keyboard. Still, I had to do something. I picked her up and set her on my knee, like a father about to lecture his child.

“You wanna know something, Apple Bloom?”

“What?”

“I can’t claim to know exactly what you’re going through, but I have a feeling I can take a wild guess, since I’ve had days like that. There’s times when I majorly screw up, or just plain feel down in the dumps, and at those times, I wonder if there’s anything I can do right at all. It’s a bit dramatic, I know, but we all get that way sometimes. The weight of the world’s on our shoulders, and we feel like we can’t make a difference. At those times, all you can do is be you until the time’s right, when you’re ready to embrace your calling.”

I stopped, because I figured what I was spouting were completely random and sappy generalities. The other occupants of the table had their eyes on me, even Pinkie, who had paused in the middle of a bite. Apple Bloom continued to gaze at me, so I cleared my throat.

“My point is, Apple Bloom, life’s like a good book. If you want to fully enjoy it, you can’t just rush ahead to the good part. It takes time and patience, but when you finally get to that point, your patience will be rewarded ten times over. Just the fact that it’s taking this long must mean you and your friends will have the most spectacular cutie marks of all, worthy of admiration because they were allowed to develop and mature.”

She looked at me a little longer, then she smiled.

“You really think so?” she asked.

“I know so,” I said, giving her a little tickle for good measure, making her giggle.

Her older siblings and grandmother smiled warmly at this, and Pinkie was grinning from ear to ear.

“Thanks, Mr. Dave,” said Apple Bloom, giving me a little hug.

“Anytime, kiddo,” I said.

It was funny; I’d never considered myself good with kids, but seeing how I’d made this sweet little filly smile with less effort than I’d imagined, it made me wonder how many other things I’d kept kidding myself on. I can say this, though: these ponies were already starting to help me open my eyes to their world, and it wasn’t even noon!

A Rare Opportunity

After what was probably the best brunch I had ever experienced (and I hadn’t experienced very many official brunches before), Pinkie and I bid farewell to the Apple family. Applejack told me I was welcome back anytime, and had even told me about a couple of special seasons Sweet Apple Acres experienced. One was Zap Apple Season, when the orchards were blessed with the rarest apple of all: the Zap Apple, which was made into a very delicious jam. The other was Cider Season, where the Acres churned out barrel after barrel of homemade apple cider, which was then sold at 2 bits a mug-full (bits, as Pinkie told me, were small gold coins that constituted the staple currency of Equestria).

Both sounded wonderful, but I didn’t know if my stay would even last that long. Still, I was given an enthusiastic farewell from her, her siblings, and her grandmother.

Pinkie was a mare of her word, and had directed me back into Ponyville before we made a stop at a very colorful and ornate building in the middle of town. The newly-painted sign read “Carousel Boutique”.

“So, I take it this is where Rarity lives?” I asked.

“Yep! She’s Ponyville’s #1 fashionista!”

“Er, I’ve never been much of a judge of good clothing,” I said.

Too true. I hated shopping when it came to clothes, especially if I was in the company of someone who actually had a mind to purchase. They always seemed to take forever, even when they said they ‘only needed a minute’ or something like that. It drove me nuts…

“You don’t have to be, silly. That’s her job!” said Pinkie. “Now, come on. She shouldn’t be too busy.”

She hopped inside, as if she had been expected, the door making a gentle ring from the bell overhead, which was obviously a signal to alert the proprietor of customers. I followed her in, and found myself in a large room full of equine mannequins, mirrors, and silk curtains. Some of the mannequins were bedecked with dresses of a wide variety of fabrics and colors, some decorated with feathers or sequins, and nearly all of them bestowed upon with at least one type of gemstone.

It was all so…posh, and I bet dollars to donuts the owner, this ‘Rarity’, would be just the same.

“Oh! One moment, please! I’ll be right with you!”

The voice that spoke was a woman’s, very elegant and bearing a cosmopolitan sort of accent, indicating a sophisticated upbringing and manner of living. In a twinkling, Pinkie and I were approached by a unicorn who could be none other than Rarity.

She was pearl-white, or even marshmallow-white, her mane and tail a deep shade of purple, both done in elegant curls. She had dark-blue eyes with very pronounced eyelashes, as well as light-blue eye shadow. She had a slender, curvy-hipped figure that I didn’t doubt made her quite the attention-grabber when stallions were concerned. At any rate, she was quite beautiful. Her cutie mark was a set of three blue diamonds, in the shape of playing card diamonds.

“Hi, Rarity!” chirped Pinkie.

“Hello, Pinkie, dear,” said Rarity. “Good to see you. And who might this-”

She stopped short, gazing up at me. Her irises shrank to mere pinpoints, and she let out a loud “Wah-ha-HAAA!!” of alarm. I was scared that I actually spooked her, but she said, in an aghast voice,

“My goodness gracious, darling, whatever have you been through? Just look at that hair!”

“M-My hair?”

(A human walks into your boutique, and that's the first thing you notice?)

I ran one hand through it. It was true that my hair had been growing out lately, and since I’d run out of the hair gel I usually used to tame it, it was one big jet-black mess. It must’ve looked worse from my having lain down on the grass and running with Pinkie. Not only that, but my jeans were grass-stained, and the gray T-shirt I was wearing was wrinkled and spotted with sweat. It was no wonder she looked so freaked out: I must have looked like a hobo.

“Oh, right. Listen, if you want, I’ll just go and-”

“Go? Oh, no-no-no, don’t carry on that way,” said Rarity, hurriedly. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, darling. I was going to say that, if you were willing, it’s nothing I can’t fix.”

I stared at her in astonishment.

“You mean a haircut? You’d do that, for a perfect stranger?”

“But of course!” she said, with a twinkle of enthusiasm in her eyes, and giving her curls a prim toss, “This is a rare occasion! I’ve never had the honor of helping a human client. You are a human, are you not?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Wonderful! What do you say?”

It was hard to tell whether or not she was speaking out of personal interest or a sense of business. Either way, she was offering, so who was I to refuse?

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt-”

“Splendid! Come this way!”

She led us into an adjoining room, which seemed to be a salon. There were several sinks and mirrors, swivel chairs, hair dryers, and shelves laden with innumerable bottles of different hair and beauty products.

She sat me down in one of the chairs, and before I knew what was happening, a barbering cloak lifted all of its own accord and fixed itself around my neck,. Not only that, but there was a comb and a pair of scissors floating about in the air as well. My heart jumped into my throat.

“G-Ghosts!” I yelped.

With what I’d seen so far of this world, I was ready to believe that ghosts could very well exist!

“Ghosts, darling?” asked Rarity, surprised. “Whatever do you mean?”

“T-The cloak! Those scissors! They’re floating by themselves! Is this boutique haunted?!”

“Oh, no, no, you silly dear,” said Rarity. “I’m just keeping them aloft with my magic.”

“M-Magic?”

I looked at the scissors and comb. They were glowing a faint, soft blue. Then I looked at Rarity, and saw that the same glow was coming from her horn. So...unicorns could use telekinesis? That was what their horns were for: channeling magical energy?

Magic was real in this world?

If I hadn’t been so discombobulated, I would have found this revelation immediately amazing!

“Have you never seen unicorn magic before?” Rarity asked.

“N-No, never,” I said. “Not this kind of magic, anyway.”

“But where do you come from, to not know unicorn magic?”

“He came from the sky!” said Pinkie. “The sky had a baby!”

Rarity gave her an odd look, just as Applejack had done.

“I see," she said. "Well, I do hope I didn’t give you too much of a startle, darling.”

“It's kinda my fault," I said. "I had no idea unicorns could use their horns to perform magic. The ones I see in pictures back home look like the horns are mainly for show. In fact, they look dangerous.”

“Dear me,” said Rarity. “Well, let us speak no more about it. Now, how would you like your hair done?”

She levitated a book of hairstyle examples over to me for my perusal. Well, I should say mane style, if I want to be accurate. Still, the way ponies did up their manes in Equestria wasn’t too different from how humans do it back home. I had to be careful about where my eye lingered, especially on the more outlandish ones, because I bet anything Rarity would think I wanted one of those.

At last, I saw one similar to the haircuts I usually got: short, boyish, easy to mold with hair gel.

“Something like that,” I said, pointing to it.

She peered over my shoulder to see what I was indicating.

“Excellent choice! A nice summer cut, coming right up! It would certainly suit you just fine.”

She began by levitating a spray bottle of water to wet my hair, spritzing it until it was nice and damp. Then, she started running the comb through before snipping away at it with her scissors. Pinkie sat on her haunches beside me to watch.

“Now, why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself? If I'm not mistaken, you were the one making quite a scene in the town square earlier. It quite drove me out of my mind, as I was trying to work.”

“Guilty as charged, I suppose. My name’s Dave.”

“Dave…” she said, mulling it over. She then nodded with a smile. “Not a bad name: short and simple. I’m Rarity, or Miss Rarity, if you prefer, proprietor of Carousel Boutique, where our fashions are chic, unique, and magnifique.”

“Very clever. So, I take it fashion designing is your passion?”

That was almost a dumb thing to ask. It was like asking a thief if he liked expensive things. A blind amoeba could have picked that up as soon as they walked into this place. Rarity, however, didn’t mind the obviousness of it.

“Very much so! It’s simply divine, Dave, to know that after hours, even days, of toiling away at a sewing machine, you’ve created something remarkable, beautiful, and built to last…”

She said this with a fond sort of zeal, and in the mirror, I could see a dreamy look in her pretty eyes.

“It’s not that I think it’s not a good profession,” I said, warily, “it’s just that clothing isn’t really something I think a lot about.”

“No, I suppose not,” said Rarity, in a regretful tone. “It’s a shame that men are never as enthused about making a good appearance. At the most, all they do is slap on any old T-shirt or jacket and be done with it. It’s a crying shame, really.”

“But, don’t ponies usually go around without clothes?”

“Of course, but my point still stands. Why, I can keep Spike in my shop for as long as his little heart desires, but as soon as I begin the topic of smartening him up, he makes a beeline for the door!” She sighed. “Boys…”

“Spike? He frequents your boutique?”

“Certainly. Can’t seem to stay away for too long.”

“But, with him being a dragon, aren’t you worried that he might, you know, singe one of your designs?” I asked.

“Oh, certainly not!” said Rarity. “Spike is a wonderful, well-behaved boy. He would never be so careless. I’ve seen full-grown dragons before, on the other hoof. Perfect brutes, they are, when they’re older…”

“It’s ok, Rarity,” said Pinkie, “I’ve already told him about Spike.”

“Oh?”

“Pinkie’s been a very helpful tour guide for me,” I said, winking at the pink pony, who beamed.

“That’s splendid to hear,” said Rarity, smiling. “If you’re new to Ponyville, the best pony to turn to is Pinkie Pie.”

“Aww, shucks, Rarity,” said Pinkie, with a touch of red to her cheeks.

Yet another vouch for Pinkie Pie’s reliability toward newcomers. Just who was this pony?

Rarity’s hooves (er, I should say, magic), was very skillful. It felt almost exactly the same as if a human barber were working on my hair. As she went on, she made idle chitchat about what had happened to her recently, when so-and-so or what’s-her-face entered her boutique.

“And if you would believe it, she actually had the audacity to say my peacock feathers were dyed! My set of authentic, rare peacock feathers, donated from the royal gardens, dyed?! Why, I’d never heard of such a thing! The very nerve! So, then I said-”

I couldn’t find myself able to keep track of her gossipy rambling, so all I could do was add “uh-huhs” or “mm-hmms” or “oh, reallys”, which seemed to satisfy her. Pinkie was sitting with her eyes wandering around the room, probably lost in her own thoughts. I glanced about the room myself, and my eyes fell on a framed photo, containing four unicorns.

One was unmistakably Rarity, smiling rather embarrassedly, hugging a tall, strongly built stallion with a brown mane and mustache. Across from him was a pink mare with a purple beehive of a mane, and she was hugging a little snow-white filly with a fluffy purple and pink mane, who had a smile so big it was liable to break the boundaries of her cheeks.

“Is that your family?” I asked.

Rarity stopped chatting and looked up, somewhat startled.

“What?”

She then saw that I was looking at the picture, and a look of relief came over.

“Oh! Oh, yes. That’s me with my father, mother, and little sister, Sweetie Belle.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle as my gaze lingered on the widely-smiling filly.

“She’s adorable,” I said.

Rarity smiled gently.

“She is, truly. She’s such an innocent, sweet-natured filly. A bit rambunctious, perhaps, and there are times when she can be a hoofful, but I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world.”

“Siblings,” I chimed in. “You can’t live with them, but you can’t live without them.”

“Exactly.”

“Sweetie Belle…" I mused. "I knew I heard that name somewhere before. Apple Bloom said she was one of her friends. She’s a…what was the name for it…Cutie Mark Crusader.”

“Yes, indeed. I can’t even count the number of times those little scamps have been in the boutique, looking for new ways to earn their cutie marks. If it keeps up, I may need to look up a good child-proofing spell.”

She said this with just a hint of exasperation, but I could tell she couldn’t blame them for just being kids. I kinda knew the feeling. I’d spent time volunteering as an assistant for Sunday preschool. The kids could be terrors one minute, but cute the next.

“Er, Rarity? Do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Mm? What is it?”

“Well, it’s kinda something that’s been on my mind ever since I saw you. I wasn’t sure if I should say it, since I figured it might be rude to talk about something like that, but-”

Rarity and Pinkie startled giggling.

“Oh, darling, there’s no need to be so apologetic," said Rarity. "Honestly, you sound just like Fluttershy.”

“Fluttershy?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get to her,” said Pinkie, winking.

“Er, right. Well, what I wanted to ask, Rarity, is what diamonds have to do with making clothes?”

“Hmm? ...Oh! You mean my cutie mark!”

She turned slightly to let the reflection of those three diamonds on her curvy flank show in the mirror.

“I suppose it does take an imaginative eye to make the connection. I’ve always been good at designing fashion, even as a filly, but it wasn’t until I discovered my true talent that I finally became satisfied with it: bedazzling them with glimmerous gemstones!”

Ohh, so that was why...

“I’d wondered why all of your designs had that kind of motif,” I said. “Is it, er, what’s the term…in vogue?”

“Oh, no, darling. The more bedazzled ones are for especial clients, or for formal occasions, such as a ball or even the Grand Galloping Gala.”

“The Grand Galloping Gala? What’s that?”

“You’ve never heard of the Gala?!” asked Rarity, scandalized. “Why, it’s only one of the most prestigious events in all of Equestria: a grand ball to end all balls!”

“Eh, I’ve never been much of a party person,” I said, indifferently.

“Oh, my dear, you’re sorely missing out!” said Rarity. “Why, a new suit of clothes, and we’d have you spiffed up and presentable for the streets of Canterlot!”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Canterlot?”

(Great, more pun-tastic pony names…)

“Goodness, Dave, you’ve got much to learn, if you don’t even know the most basic elements of Equestrian culture.”

(Well, ex-cuse me for being new.).

“Canterlot’s Equestria’s capital city, and home to the royal throne, where Princess Celestia watches over our land.”

“There’s that name again," I said. "I heard someone mention it before, but who’s Princess Celestia? What’s she like?”

“Well, I can’t speak personally except for one or two occasions. She’s very noble and benevolent, I can say that. If you want to know more, I’d suggest asking Twilight. She knows more about her than any of us.”

“She does?" I asked, curious. "How so?”

“Oopsie-doopsy!” said Pinkie, “I guess I never told you. Twilight’s the Princess’s best student!”

“Student?!” I asked, astounded. “You mean she studies directly under royalty? ...Wow! What an honor!”

“Yeah! It’s made her super-smart and super-good at magic, too!”

Pinkie, in her exuberance, began bouncing around so much that she almost upset a stack of shelves full of hair products. Rarity righted it with her magic as Pinkie grinned in a sheepishly apologetic way, the unicorn casting her something like a warning look as she reset the bottles.

“She is a clever, sweet girl,” said Rarity. “A visit to Ponyville’s not complete without seeing her.”

“Well, I intend to,” I said, “since she might have answers to some big questions I’m hoping to ask.”

“Big questions?” asked Pinkie. “Like ‘does the light stay on in the fridge when you close it’?”

“What? No.”

“Or ‘why someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah’?”

“Pinkie, did you already forget what our mission was?” I asked.

“Of course not! Get you in to see Twilight so you can talk to her about how you got here! You just never said what else you were gonna ask her, so I guessed!”

She beamed, apparently proud of herself.

“Right,” I muttered. “Well, hopefully I’ll be able to get the right answers, or I might be here even longer, and with only one set of clothes, too.”

Rarity stopped right where she was, an aghast look on her face. She looked as if I had just uttered a dirty word.

“You...only have this one set?” she asked, slowly.

(Uh oh…)

“Er...yes?”

I was half-expecting her to explode into a furious tirade, but instead, she said, in a sympathetic tone,

“Oh, you poor, poor thing! I could never imagine having only one ensemble to survive on! Ugh, it gives me the shivers just thinking about it!”

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” said Pinkie, nonplussed. “Can’t he just go naked like us?”

She did not just ask that.

Please tell me she did not just ask that.

“P-Pinkie!” I spluttered. “Are you nuts?!”

“What?” Pinkie asked. “Everypony else does it.”

“Pinkie, how can you suggest such a thing?!” Rarity asked, sternly. “Obviously, clothing means a great deal to our human friend here, and we shan’t deprive him of the comfort and protection they provide.”

(...Yeah, let’s put it that way.)

“Eh, fine, have it your way,” said Pinkie, shrugging. “I still don’t see why it's a big deal.”

“Wait a moment…” said Rarity, thoughtfully, before she let out a loud gasp. “I-de-a!” she trilled. “Now, hear me out on this, Dave. If, if, mind you, your stay happens to take longer than you expected, would you mind terribly if I designed you some new clothes myself?”

Was she serious? I couldn’t help staring at her.

“Y-You want to make me new clothes?” I asked. “Just like that?”

“Just like that!” said Rarity. “I see you’re fond of a T-shirt and pants ensemble. Well, nothing could be simpler! You just come by here tomorrow afternoon, at, oh...let’s say 2 o’clock, and we can take your measurements. What do you think?”

Her eyes were positively alight with enthusiasm at this idea, as if she were really itching to give this project a go. Still, did I really want to say yes to this? Who knows how long I may even be here? Then again, I just didn’t have the heart to deny her something she obviously wanted to do. With a small sigh, I said,

“Sure, I’ll stop by tomorrow.”

“Wonderful!” she said. “You shan’t regret this, my dear, I promise you that!”

I couldn’t help but smile. For someone so high-class, she was very good-natured. I had always figured people with elitist personalities were a lot more...condescending.

“Well, I think that should do it,” she said finally, moving away and producing a small hand mirror.

I was surprised. I had been so taken up with our conversation that I hadn’t noticed her work. My hair looked just as it did if I had asked a human barber to give the exact same cut I had requested; Rarity certainly had talent.

“How does it look?” she asked.

I turned around in my chair to face her, took her dainty hoof in one hand, and kissed it as a gentleman would a woman’s hand.

“I couldn’t have asked for finer, Miss Rarity,” I said.

It must have been a really hammy display, but it was all in good fun. Rarity giggled and turned red at the cheeks.

“Oh, stop it,” she said.

With her magic, she whisked the cloak off of me and began dusting the loose hairs off.

“And don’t worry about payment. This one was on me.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, taken back.

“Indeed. Think of it as a little “welcome to Ponyville” gift.”

“Well, gosh. Thanks, Rarity.”

“My pleasure, dear. I’ll see you here at 2 tomorrow.”

“I shan’t keep you waiting, milady,” I said, standing up.

Pinkie joined me by my side. I gave a low, gracious bow to the matron of the boutique, which she reciprocated in a like manner, and Pinkie and I exited, my head all in a whirl.

Always the Shy Ones

“Well, that was interesting,” I said, as Pinkie led me along. ”I always thought upper-class people were more…snobbish. But Rarity was really charming: giving me a free haircut and offering to make new clothes for me.”

“Well, she can be kind of a drama queen,” Pinkie admitted, since we were out of earshot, “and she’s really fussy when it comes to dirty stuff, but she’s a great friend: generous to a T! And pretty much every other letter in the alphabet, I’d bet!”

“Er, right. So, who’s this Fluttershy you’re taking me to?”

“Besides Twilight and Spike, she’s the last of my bestest-best friends for you to meet. Oh!”

She stopped and looked at me, as if she had said something she shouldn’t have.

“But I didn’t mean she’s my least bestest-best friend!”

“Relax, Pinkie, I get what you mean,” I said, though I wasn’t entirely sure I actually did.

“Good,” she said, relieved. “She’s so sensitive. She might take it the wrong way if she heard me say that.”

“Aw, really? Sounds like this Fluttershy’s one to tread lightly around.”

“Just don’t be too offended if she’s afraid of you. She’s easily startled.”

(Great, just what I needed to hear: that I may give this poor girl a heart attack…)

Pinkie had led me out of Ponyville once again, and now we were heading toward the edge of a massive, dense forest of trees, the same one I'd seen at a distance when I first woke up. There were a few cawing birds floating above, and a stray cloud here and there. The whole place gave off a very unsettling vibe, as if there was something...off about it.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“The Everfree Forest. We never go in there if we can help it.”

“Why?” I asked, somewhat pensively. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s got a bunch of kooky-spooky stuff in it, that’s what’s wrong with it!”

Pinkie whipped around sharply to face me, nearly scaring me out of my wits. She reared up and placed her hooves on my chest.

“The plants grow, the animals fend for themselves, and the clouds move…All! On! Their! Own!”

She leaned in so close that her snout was pressed against my nose, her large blue eyes gazing straight into my own brown ones.

“…And that’s bad?” I asked.

“That’s not even the worst of it!” she said, getting off of me. “There’s scary creatures in there, too, like manticores and parasprites and cockatrices-”

A cold chill ran over my limbs, and my heart skipped a beat. Manticores?? Cockatrices?? Like those creatures in mythology? Lions with scorpion tails and chicken-headed snakes that could turn you to stone?! They had those kinds of beasts and dragons to deal with? And here I’d thought this land of colorful talking ponies was all sunshine and lollipops...

“Er…do those monsters ever…ever leave the forest and…attack anyone?” I asked, trying to sound casual, though I must have been doing a poor job of it.

“Nope! They’re fine as long as they get to stay in the forest.”

(Well, good. Let them keep it.)

“You ok, Davie?" asked Pinkie. "You look kinda pale.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said, though my hammering heart said otherwise.

“Okie-dokie-lokie! Now come on! Fluttershy’s cottage is just near the edge!”

I had started walking, but stopped again.

“Whoa, whoa, back up!” I said.

A few seconds later, I wished I hadn’t said that. Pinkie did back up, literally, only stopping when her rump collided with my stomach.

“Is that far enough?” she asked, tilting her head back to look at me.

“Yes,” I said, wearily. “What I meant was, are you telling me that this Fluttershy, who’s ‘so sensitive’, lives at the edge of a place everyone avoids?”

“Yesiree!”

“…What sense does that make?!” I cried.

“I know it sounds kinda weird, but…well, you’ll understand when we get there.”

With that, she continued on, me still in a state of bewilderment.

At last, we came upon a stone path leading up a hill. There were several birdhouses lined along it, as regular as streetlamps. There was a twittering of birds and the chatter of squirrels in the air. The path led up to a quaint, two-story cottage, one that looked straight out of a fairy tale. In fact, I was half expecting Snow White to come parading out the door followed by seven dwarves and a bunch of woodland animals. Instead, there seemed to be a bit of activity in the grass close by. Pinkie motioned for me to keep quiet as we tread along, and I saw why.

Several forest creatures of all types were gathered together: rabbits, squirrels, chipmunks, and a colorful array of birds. Seated in front of them, smiling placidly, was a pegasus pony, who I guessed at once was Fluttershy.

Her coat was pale yellow; I’d venture to say cream or butter-yellow, myself. She had greenish-blue eyes, and her mane and tail were very long, and the same shade of pink as Pinkie’s coat. Her mane was so long, in fact, that she could have easily hidden her face behind it. She was slender and delicate-looking, almost like a fawn. On her flank was a cutie mark of three pink butterflies. Her whole self seemed to emanate an aura of tranquility.

I can honestly say that when I had heard of her before seeing her, I’d had no idea she would have been so…cute. Those beautiful eyes, that innocent face, that adorable mane...Gah! What was I saying?! This land was rubbing off on me already...

Still, I had no desire to interrupt the tender scene I saw before me, but Pinkie was much less reluctant.

“Fluttershy!” she said, quite loudly.

Fluttershy gave a jump, and her little animal friends scattered. She looked up, and at first seemed glad to see Pinkie, but then her eyes fell on me, and those sea-green pupils contracted to terrified pinpoints. With a squeak, she spread her dainty feathered wings and tore past us, zipping into the cottage and slamming the door behind her. I stared at the door, startled for a moment, then shot a disapproving look at Pinkie.

“What?” she asked, innocently.

“You didn’t have to scare her like that.”

“Me? I didn’t scare her! You did.”

“Not before you yelled her name like that.”

“Did I really yell it?” asked Pinkie.

“Trust me, a bullhorn was no match for you,” I said, dryly.

“Well, don’t worry. I’ll coax Fluttershy out.”

She stepped past me and rapped at the door.

“Fluttershy! Come on out! I just want to introduce you to my friend!”

As she was talking, there was a faint sound, like the squeaking of a window shutter, from behind the house. Pinkie was still persisting in talking through the door, so I snuck around the cottage to look, and unexpectedly found myself eye to eye with the timid pegasus.

I gave a shout of surprise, and at the same time, so did she, and she ran off again in the opposite direction. Pinkie had heard our yells, and turned just in time to see Fluttershy zoom past again.

“Fluttershy! Come back!” Pinkie called, hopping after her.

Fluttershy paid no heed, and instead ran full speed over to a large chicken coop that stood at the back, fenced off where the edge of the forest was nearby. There were a few hens gamboling around outside, which scattered and squawked as Fluttershy ran past, up the ramp, and headlong through the little door. There was another chorus of startled squawks from the chickens inside. Pinkie and I stopped outside the coop.

“Really, Pinkie, let’s give it up,” I said. “I’m just terrifying the poor thing. She’ll have a heart attack if we keep this up.”

“She just needs to get to know you better,” Pinkie said, and she started making her way up the coop’s ramp.

“You're not going to force her out, are you?"

“No, of course not,” said Pinkie. “She just needs a little nudge in the right direction.”

She stuck her head through first.

“Hi, Fluttershy!”

In answer, there was a squeak, presumably from Fluttershy, though I couldn’t discern what she said afterward, as she spoke so quietly.

“It’s ok, he’s not going to hurt you. Now, come on out.”

There was more indiscernible muttering.

“Aw, don’t be that way. He’s not a monster. Not one from the Everfree Forest, anyway.”

Well, that didn’t completely dispel the theory that I was a monster. Thanks a lot, Pinkie...

“Look, let me come in and I’ll talk you through it. He’s a nice guy, really.”

Pinkie stepped inside the chicken coop, though she briefly got caught at her hips. I supposed the coop was built for Fluttershy’s svelte physique and not Pinkie’s pudgy form. Still, it didn’t take long for her to squeeze inside. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, and it didn’t look like they’d be coming out anytime soon, so I took a seat on the grass to wait. Thankfully, the day was getting on, and it wasn’t as hot as it had been.

I felt something nudge my leg. I looked down, and was surprised to see a little brown rabbit gazing up at me, twitching its nose. It was probably because I had been sitting so still.

“Hi, little fella,” I said, gently.

I raised my hand to pet it. Naturally, it ducked from my touch at first, but then gratefully accepted the stroking I gave its furry head, down its back.

“I’ve never actually petted a rabbit before. Weird to think the first would be in a world of ponies.”

After some time, Fluttershy’s little entourage, perhaps encouraged by my gentle treatment of the rabbit, came to sit by me. I flinched instinctively when some of the birds alighted on my shoulders, but they merely sat to look at me. I was quite flummoxed to be given such attention from these animals; I’d never had such an opportunity before, especially considering how these were all creatures known for being skittish and timid.

There was a light creak of wood from behind me. Turning my head, I saw Fluttershy tentatively stepping out, still obviously nervous. She wavered for a moment or two, but suddenly jumped forward, as if someone had pushed her. Most likely Pinkie giving her a ‘little nudge’. She sat up, a bit dazed, then saw me among the animals and gave a little gasp, her eyes wide. She came over to me swiftly, looking at me intently.

“Hello," I said.

She remained silent, her eyes still fixed on me and her animal friends. In the ensuing pause, there was another creaking of wood. Pinkie had managed to squeeze herself out and rejoined us, smiling in a proud way, as if pleased she'd gotten Fluttershy to come out.

"I’m sorry if I scared you," I said. "I didn’t mean to. And please don’t be mad at Pinkie. She just wanted me to meet you. I’m Dave.”

She looked at me a little while longer, and then…

“…I’m Fluttershy.”

Her voice was very soft, barely louder than a whisper, but very gentle.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Fluttershy,” I said, with a smile.

She hesitated, then gave me a small smile herself. It had to be one of the most endearing sights I had ever seen. It wasn’t a simple smirk, but a sweet, dimple-cheeked little smile. I felt like I could just give her a hug, but I feared she wouldn’t like that.

“Um…I had no idea you had a way with animals…” she said, looking at her critters.

“Oh, this?" I asked, gesturing to the entourage. “Completely by accident. I’ve never had this much contact or experience with these sorts of animals, but I can guess you have.”

“Mm-hmm.”

She hesitated for a moment, as though unsure of what she was about to say next, then asked,

“Um...what are you, exactly?”

“Me? I’m a human.”

“A hue-man?” questioned Fluttershy, puzzled. “I’ve never heard of that kind of animal before, but you must be very special if you can talk.”

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call myself an animal, per se,” I said. “Then again, humans do share many similarities with apes.”

“Oh! So a human is kind of like a monkey?”

“If you want to look at it that way,” I said.

Pinkie suddenly let out a snorting giggle, startling both of us.

“What?” I asked, sharply.

“I didn’t think about it when Dashie said it, but you do look kind of like a big monkey!”

She flopped herself onto her back, kicking her legs in a paroxysm of giggles. All I could do was roll my eyes.

“Have you been with Pinkie Pie all day?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yeah. She found me out in the fields, out cold and memory messed up.”

“Oh, dear…”

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, um...you seem used to her...well, Pinkie-ness,” she said, sounding as if she lacked a better term.

“It’s been a little weird,” I consented, “and at first I was pretty freaked out over what I’d landed myself into, but I’m starting to accept it more and more. Pinkie’s proved a very good friend and guide.”

Pinkie looked up from her giggling to smile at me for the praise.

“Wonderful,” said Fluttershy, warmly. “You two make such good friends.”

As if to confirm this, Pinkie gave me an affectionate nuzzle. She was just like an overgrown cat.

“So, Pinkie told me you live right near the Everfree Forest,” I said.

"Yes, that's right."

“And I was a little skeptical. She told me you were…”

I paused, trying to find the right words. Fluttershy looked at me with a kind of hesitant expectation, as if worrying I was about to shoot an insult at her.

“...Delicate,” I said, finally. “Introverted.”

Fluttershy’s look of apprehension faded, and she nodded.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed about,” I added. “I’m not the most sociable of individuals, either.”

“Really?” Fluttershy asked, tilting her head. “I’d never have guessed. You speak so well.”

“Thanks,” I said, pleased in spite of myself. “So do you.”

Fluttershy smiled shyly.

“Anyway,” I said, “like I said, I was a little skeptical about how a pony who prefers being away from conflict can stand to live near a forest that ponies avoid if they can.”

“Easy,” said Fluttershy, who looked completely unabashed. “I have many wonderful animal friends, and the forest is teeming with them.”

“Er, like the manticores or cockatrices?” I asked, trying to sound conversational.

“Some,” said Fluttershy. “Many ponies run away from creatures like that-”

(Of course they would! I would if it were me!)

“-but they just don’t understand them the way I do.”

“Meaning what, exactly?” I asked.

“Fluttershy can talk to the animals!” Pinkie proclaimed, before Fluttershy could answer.

She could...talk to them? As in, Dr. Dolittle-style talk?

That. Was. Cool!

“You can talk to them?” I asked.

“Um...yes,” said Fluttershy, looking embarrassed, but still smiling.

“Wow…” I muttered. “What do they tell you?”

“Many things,” said Fluttershy, at her ease once again. “I would never have known I could speak to them on that level if I hadn’t fallen out of Cloudsdale as a filly.”

“You...fell?” I asked, stunned as the weight of those words hit me. “From the sky?”

“Like you!” said Pinkie, proudly.

Fluttershy stared at me, bewildered, but I said,

“It would take too long to explain. So, you, er, fell from Cloudsdale?”

“Yes, but luckily, I was caught by a roaming colony of butterflies.”

Butterflies? Seriously? Even as a filly, she would have more than likely crushed them with her fall.

“I had never seen the beauty of nature below the clouds before,” Fluttershy went on, “and it was wonderful! It’s when I finally realized who I was meant to be: a friend to the animals.”

She looked at her flank, where the butterfly trio was situated.

“So that’s what your butterflies mean?” I asked. “Well, these animals really do seem to adore you.”

“Thank you,” she said, a slight pink coloring her cheeks.

Suddenly, there was a thumping noise, and Fluttershy looked down. A white rabbit was tapping her side with his little hind foot, looking somewhat miffed.

“Oh! How rude of me. Dave, I’d like you to meet Angel Bunny. Angel, this is Dave.”

“Hi there,” I said, genially.

The rabbit gave me a disgruntled look, but gave a curt nod to acknowledge my greeting.

“Please excuse him,” said Fluttershy, apologetically. “He’s not very good with strangers.”

The rabbit had pulled out, seemingly from nowhere, a very minute day planner, and was showing it urgently to Fluttershy.

“What is it, Angel? Something about today?”

She paused, then gasped.

“Oh goodness! Thank you, Angel! I’d almost forgotten!”

Angel gave a sigh of relief.

“Dave, I’m very sorry, but I promised to visit Mother Robin to watch her eggs hatch. They’re scheduled to today.”

“Well, that’s quite an occasion,” I said, not really seeing how it was, but again, deciding to humor her. “I wouldn’t dream of delaying you.”

“Oh, but are you staying in Ponyville long? I’d love for us to meet up again.”

She looked at me with those adorable, sea-green eyes. As desperate as I was to find a way home again, I didn't want to disappoint her. It was like agreeing to watch Rainbow fly, or visit Sweet Apple Acres for its special seasons, or drop by Rarity's for new clothes. I couldn't give a flat-out refusal; I just couldn't.

“So would I,” I said, finally.

She smiled warmly.

“Wonderful! It was so nice to meet you, Dave, and…thank you for putting up with me and my, um, little episode.”

She held out her hoof, and I clasped it warmly in my hand.

“No worries at all, Fluttershy,” I said, smiling in return. “It was very nice to meet you as well.”

With that, after I let go of her hoof, she turned to follow Angel, who had gone on ahead and was waiting for her. She stopped to take one last look at me, and I saw the gentle smile was still on her face, all trepidation gone. Pinkie and I watched her until she was out of sight. Now that she was, her animal friends eventually took leave of us.

“Isn’t she just the nicest pony you’d ever met?” asked Pinkie.

“More than nice. She’s so polite, so considerate of others. You’re lucky to have such a wonderful friend.”

“Thanks, Davie. And I’m lucky to have you for a friend!” she added, giving me a little bump with her side.

“Right,” I said, with a chuckle. “Now, I guess that just leaves your friends Twilight and Spike for me to meet.”

“Yep! We’ve spent a lot of time today, so maybe we can see if they’re ready for a visit now! C’mon, Davie, vroom-vroom!”

She hopped to her hooves and started off at her usual bouncing gait, me following close behind.

Twilight Sparkle

Once more, Pinkie was hammering away at the front door of the library, while I stood and waited. I swear, this pony had absolutely no sense of tact, but then again, ponies were probably used to that from her.

“Twilight! Spike!” she called. “Anypony home?”

At last, to her joy and my surprise, the door swung open.

“Oh! Hi there, Pinkie-WHOA!”

The voice was that of a young male, so I knew it couldn’t be this Twilight. Sure enough, it wasn’t a pony who answered the door, but a dragon. An honest-to-goodness, scale-covered dragon! I couldn’t believe my eyes!

However, he was one of the smallest creatures I had seen yet, barely coming level with my knee. He had purple scales, green spines running from his head down his tail, which ended in an arrowhead shape, green frills where his ears would have been, and large green eyes with slit pupils. He certainly didn’t look threatening, at any rate.

He stood gazing at me with wide eyes full of curiosity and wonder, while I in turn gazed at him similarly. He reminded me very much of a little human boy, so it was hard to be truly wary of him for the sole fact that he was a dragon.

“Spike, this is Dave, my new friend!" said Pinkie. "Davie, this is Spike!”

“It’s, uh, nice to meet you,” I said, bending down and offering my hand.

“Er, likewise,” he said, hesitant at first.

He held out his own clawed hand, and I shook it gently.

“I’ve never seen a live dragon before," I said.

“And you’re a…a human, aren’t you?” asked Spike

“I am.”

“Holy guacamole…This is so bizarre!”

“You’re telling me.”

“And here I was thinking that you were just an old bedtime story in one of Twilight’s books.”

“Funny you should say that: dragons are almost exactly the same way where I come from.”

This exchange of mutuality did at least make us a bit more at our ease. He broke into a small smile, and so did I.

“Where were you guys earlier?” asked Pinkie. “We came here before lunchtime.”

Being addressed by Pinkie seemed to be just the thing to bring Spike out of his hesitation.

“Sorry, Pinkie, I was out on errands, and Twilight wasn’t really in the best condition for visitors.”

“Oh no, is something wrong?” asked Pinkie, concern stamped across her face.

“She’s been in bed with a really bad headache,” explained Spike, “and she had me run to Zecora’s for some herbal treatments.”

“Zecora?” I asked.

“She’s a zebra who lives in the Everfree Forest,” explained Pinkie.

There were zebras in Equestria too? So ponies weren’t the only equines in this universe.

“She lives in the forest? With all of the ‘kooky-spooky’ stuff?” I asked, adding air quotes near the end.

“Yep, but she doesn’t mind. She’s great with potions and fortune-telling!”

“I see,” I said, still somewhat bewildered.

A zebra that performed potion-making and fortune-telling? This was way too weird.

At last, I said, “Well, we were hoping to see Twilight, so I could meet her. I’ve met all of Pinkie’s other friends already, and I have a few questions for her.”

“You’re in luck, then!” said Spike. “She’s feeling a lot better, so she might be up for a visit. I’m sure she’d love to meet a real human in person, too!”

He led us inside. I, for my part, had to duck down to avoid knocking my head against the top of the door.

“So, what is it you do, Spike?" I asked. "I don’t suppose dragons have anything like cutie marks to tell them what they're good at.”

“Nope, but I’ve got the best talent a dragon could ask for!" said Spike. "I’m Twilight’s #1 assistant!”

He said this with a great deal of pride that was quite amusing to see in such a little guy.

“What does that entail?” I asked.

“Usually housework: fetching books, sweeping, dusting, that sort of thing, but I’m also her scribe.”

“Scribe? You mean like a messenger?”

“Yep! It’s my job to write down her reports to the princess, send them to her, and receive messages from her.”

“Boy, you sure have a lot on your plate for a baby dragon," I said. "Twilight must have a lot of faith in you.”

Spike beamed at this compliment.

“Thanks,” he said, a bit modestly.

We had stopped inside when we started talking, but now I took a full view. We were in a wooden, circular room, with an unbelievable amount of bookshelves, packed from end to end with books, books, and more books. Even more sat on tables, alongside scattered papers and writing quills. A carved horse head, like a knight chess piece, sat like a centerpiece in the middle of the room.

As I had mentioned before, I was an avid reader, and this room was like a haven of intellectuality. Then again, Twilight was a student for this Princess Celestia, so she probably needed every ounce of literary assistance possible.

My eyes then fell on something I hadn’t noticed before: a little brown owl sitting on a perch by the window. I approached it, interested. If ponies and dragons could talk in this world, why not owls?

“Cool! An owl!” I said.

“Hoo,” hooted the owl.

“Aw, nuts," I said, slightly disappointed. "I was kinda hoping you’d be able to talk, too. If the ponies can, why not other animals?”

“Hoo.”

“Still, you’re a cute little fella.”

I reached out and stroked the top of his head with one finger, and he closed his eyes in contentment.

“Does he live here?” I asked Spike.

“Yep. That’s Owlowiscious. He’s Twilight’s nighttime assistant, since he’s nocturnal.”

“Nighttime assistant? Does she ever sleep?”

“Of course she does, but sometimes she gets assignments that require being up late, like stargazing. I, uh…I kinda can’t stay up that late, yet,” he added, sheepishly.

“Ohh, I see. So Owlowiscious does what you do, only at night.”

“Yep," said Spike, and when he next spoke, he adopted a whisper. "So, Twilight's napping right now, so let's keep quiet as we go up to see her."

Softly, we followed him up a set of spiral stairs. They led into another circular room, but one that was fitted out like a bedroom. A small basket sat at one end, stuffed with blankets and a pillow. I had a feeling that either belonged to Spike or another pet. The former was more likely, as it seemed to be just his size. There was a bed over by a window, raised up on a platform closer to the ceiling, which we ascended, and there, lying on her side, on the covers, her cheek on a pillow, was Twilight.

She was a unicorn, like Rarity, but her coat was lavender purple. Her mane was straightly cut in the front, almost like a bowl haircut, through which her horn protruded, though it was long and silky in the back, as was her tail. Both were a dark bluish-purple, streaked with pink and lighter purple. She was in between Rainbow Dash and Pinkie when it came to physique: not as slim as the former, not as chubby as the latter. It more reminded me of someone who didn’t go out to exercise much, being used to the indoors, and so had a bit of a belly (kind of like me, actually). In all honesty, it only helped to add to how cute she looked asleep, with her hooves curled in front of her as she dozed. Her cutie mark was one of the strangest I’d seen yet: a pink six-pointed star, surrounded by smaller stars.

“Could you kind of wait over there?” Spike asked, pointing to a corner where the sun wasn’t quite shining, leaving it shadowed. “I just don’t want you to spook her when she wakes up again.”

I completely understood and did as he asked. He and Pinkie approached the bed. Twilight opened her eyes drowsily. Even from where I stood, I could see they were amethyst-purple and very pretty. She still looked very tired and worn out, and even as she lifted her head, she grimaced, obviously from the headache. Smiling kindly, Pinkie came over and warmly nuzzled her, which Twilight seemed to appreciate greatly.

“Hey, Pinkie,” she said, in a voice both gentle and intelligent in tone. “It’s good to see you.”

“Spike told me you had an achy head," said Pinkie. "Is it all right now?”

“Not exactly, but it’s a lot better than this morning.”

“You haven’t been-”

“No, Pinkie, I haven’t been ‘hitting the books’,” interrupted Twilight, dryly.

This prompted a laugh from them all, though Twilight’s was cut short with an “Ow!” and a rub of her forehead.

“She was practicing a really difficult spell,” explained Spike, “and it took a whole lot out of her.”

“Wow," said Pinkie. "What spell was it?”

“Long-distance summoning,” said Twilight.

“Kind of like combining her levitation and teleportation spells into one,” said Spike.

“Ooh! That sounds fun!” said Pinkie, intrigued.

“Yeah, but I never saw what I called," said Twilight. "I know it worked, though. It must have, or I wouldn’t be so drained.”

She cringed as another pang of pain hit her.

“Geez," she muttered. "Now I know how Shining Armor felt when he had to maintain his protection spell.”

“Aww, poor Twilight,” sympathized Pinkie. “Don’t you worry. As soon as you’re well again, I’ll throw you a “Glad You’re Feeling Better” party!”

Twilight giggled softly. Like Fluttershy’s, it was a very heartwarming one to listen to.

“Really, Pinkie, you don’t have to-”

“Oh, wait!” Pinkie interrupted, clapping a hoof to her forehead. "I almost forgot! Davie needs to talk to you first!"

Twilight blinked, looking puzzled.

“Davie? Who’s Davie? I’ve never met a pony with that name before.”

“Uh, that’s because…he’s not a pony,” said Spike, slowly.

He nodded to me, and I stepped out into the open.

Twilight took one look at me, and those big purple irises shrank instantly. She didn’t scream (I don’t think she had voice enough to do it in her state), but she looked as if she were about to pass out.

“You…he…what…how…” she spluttered.

“Take it easy,” I said, gently, holding my hands up placatingly. “You’re already under a lot of stress.”

“Oh…oh my…This is…this is unbelievable! A human! A real human! Here in Equestria! And in my own home!”

Her stupefaction was slowly giving way to excitement, and there was an ecstatic gleam in her eyes. She sprang up into a standing position on her hind legs and placed her front hooves on my shoulders, so that were almost nose-to-nose. She was kind of creeping me out.

“I’ve got so much to ask you!”

She couldn’t even start asking, however, because another stab of pain seemed to strike her, and she clapped a hoof to her temple. She slid back into a sitting posture as Spike rushed over, a steaming cup in his hand.

“Here, Twi, it’s about time for another dose anyway.”

“Thanks, Spike.”

She took the cup in her hooves and drank the contents down in a few gulps. As Spike took the cup away, she coughed and gagged.

“Bitter stuff,” she groaned, before turning her attention back to me. “Sorry. I guess I went a little overboard, but this is just...Wow! A human in Equestria! Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for a chance like this?”

“Er, I can’t honestly say,” I said, “but it’s funny you should say you’ve got questions for me, because I have quite a few questions for you.”

“Oh?” asked Twilight.

“Unless my sources, namely Pinkie here, are mistaken, you have a reputation for being knowledgeable.”

Pinkie grinned toothily at me. Twilight’s cheeks briefly flushed at such a compliment, but she smiled nonetheless.

“Guilty as charged, I suppose,” she said. “Twilight Sparkle, at your service.”

“Dave at yours,” I said. “I’ve been told you’re actually studying under this land’s ruler herself.”

“Mm-hmm!" said Twilight, nodding. "I’m the personal protege of Princess Celestia, though that’s not something I like to brag about.”

“Well, then, this might help my case even more, seeing as how you’re the student of royalty, and probably have access to all the resources in the world. The trouble is, I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Well, why not have a seat, first of all? Spike?”

“On it!” said Spike.

He hurried out of the room, returning shortly afterward with a wooden stool. It was rather short-legged, but I made due, sitting with my legs tucked in so that my knees were near my chin. Pinkie plunked herself down beside me..

“Thanks,” I said to the dragon, before turning back to Twilight. “I won’t be offended if you don’t believe me, because I’m still having a hard time believing it myself.”

“Try me,” said Twilight, a note of confidence in her voice. “I’ve seen and heard a lot of crazy things ever since I moved here.”

“I’m always seeing and hearing crazy things!” said Pinkie. “But ponies keep telling me it’s my imagination.”

(I’m honestly not surprised.)

“Well, according to Pinkie...I dropped into Equestria from out of the sky.”

As I had expected, Twilight and Spike went wide-eyed and slack-jawed at such a preposterous claim. They looked at Pinkie, who was smiling placidly.

“What?” she asked, innocently. “I saw him fall! He’s lucky he didn’t splat himself like an egg! I mean, can you just imagine something like that happening? It’d be one big gooky mess-”

“Thank you, Pinkie!” I interrupted, already unnerved. With a sigh, I continued. “I woke up as Pinkie found me, with my head pounding and my memory fogged. I know who I am and what I’ve left behind, but I’ve got no idea what I was doing before I blacked out, or how I even ended up here.”

Twilight looked at me without speaking for a few moments, merely rubbing her chin thoughtfully, her lips pursed.

“Fascinating," she said. "Well, memory loss is common when one experiences a sort of trauma that makes them black out. That’s a possible explanation.”

“Trauma?!” I spluttered. “You think I was doing something that traumatized me?”

“I don’t mean scarring you for life,” said Twilight, “but perhaps something happened that left an immense psychological impact on your mind. Emotional trauma can affect an individual’s memory, taking away pieces of it and leaving it clouded.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Could something have happened that had affected me so badly that my memory had cracked like fine china? I couldn’t even imagine such a thing.

“Is there a way to un-cloud it?” I asked, hopefully.

Twilight bit her lip in an unsure way.

“There are spells that can fix up a damaged memory, but if not done correctly, the side effects could be, well, catastrophic.”

“C-Catastrophic?” I gulped.

“Many of the books I’ve read on the subject say things like completely broken memories, false memories, and even the subconscious being completely wiped clean.”

I could feel my innards shrivel at such a disturbing thought. I didn’t want to imagine having a mind completely erased.

“I’m sorry,” said Twilight. “I want to help you, but I don’t to risk causing more damage. Even if my talent is magic, that doesn’t mean every spell I pull off is flawless.”

“Wait, your talent is magic?” I asked. “What does that mean?”

“Mm? Oh, well, it’s all connected with cutie marks. Do you know anything about them?”

“I've had a rough explanation, courtesy of Pinkie,” I said.

“Professor Pinkie,” interjected Pinkie.

“Oh, right, excuse me,” I said, dryly.

“A cutie mark,” Twilight explained, “appears on a pony’s flank when they discover what it is they’re the most talented at or what they’re meant to be. There’s cutie marks for cooking, music, sewing, construction, teaching, anything, really. For unicorns, their cutie marks and talents are reflected in the kinds of spells they can use. However, if a pony’s talent is magic, like mine, they’re able to perform a wide number of spells without limitation.”

“And Twilight knows a ton of awesome spells!” said Spike.

“Oh, Spike, stop,” said Twilight, modestly. “It’s true I know a lot of spells, but I keep saying it’s nothing to boast about.”

“Humble to the end,” Spike muttered to me.

“In any case,” Twilight went on, “while I can perform several complicated spells, things like memory spells, weather spells, and even age spells are only accessible to the highest-level unicorns, and I don’t have the proper training for that.”

“Oh," I muttered. "Well, it doesn’t help me know how I got here or what happened to make my memory all screwed up, but I don't know anything about magic, so I don't think it's my place to argue. Besides, if the risks you described are true, I may want to hold off.”

“Again, I’m sorry,” said Twilight. “By what you described, you were dropped into Ponyville by magical means, but tracing exactly how might prove impossible.”

“It’s not just that I’m worried about,” I said. “It’s what I’ve left behind, too. I have no idea where in the world Equestria lies on the planet, if I’m even on the same Earth that my home lies. As crazy as it sounds, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was transported across different universes! My family’s still back where I came from, I have no way of contacting them, telling them not to worry about me...”

I lay my head in my hands, the weight of my situation catching back up with me. I felt Pinkie nestle up close beside me, trying to comfort me. Twilight, for her part, seemed affected by my spiel, and was looking at me with sympathetic understanding in those keen eyes of hers.

“You poor thing,” she said. “How old are you?”

“20,” I admitted, “but I still live with my folks.”

“Oh...I’m so sorry. I really wish there was more that I could do.”

“Twilight,” Spike piped up. “There is something you can do.”

“Hmm?”

“Ask Princess Celestia!”

Twilight looked at him for a moment, before a look of dawning comprehension overtook her face.

“Yes!” she said. “What a fantastic idea! Good thinking, Spike!”

“Yes, well,” said Spike, rubbing his knuckles on his chest in a self-satisfied way, “I do have my moments.”

“You think your princess has the answer?” I asked, hopefully.

“I wouldn’t doubt it,” said Twilight. “Princess Celestia is one of the wisest ponies in Equestria, and she has access to all of the information in the Canterlot Archives. There’s no knowledge beneath her.”

As Twilight said this, Spike left his spot briefly and returned with a scroll of cream-colored parchment and a feather quill.

“Ready when you are, Twi!” he said.

Twilight cleared her throat, and as she dictated, Spike wrote her speech down.

“Dear Princess Celestia,
I’m not sure if you have already been made aware, but Ponyville has been graced with a rather...unexpected visitor: a human! He says that his name is Dave, and that he’s arrived in Equestria through means that remain a complete mystery to him. They've also rendered his memory insufficient to recall how he came to be here. If you have any advice on how to deal with this puzzling situation, we would be extremely grateful.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle.”

Spike finished and rolled up the scroll.

“How did that sound?” Twilight asked me.

“Very nice,” I said. “So, how long’s it going to take to get a response? Do you use carrier pigeons, or-”

*FWOOSH!*

To my utter surprise, Spike breathed a stream of green flames on the paper. As it smoldered into ashes and smoke, it seemed to condense into a sparkling, purplish mist, which sailed out the open window. I just sat there, mouth agape, unable to believe what I had just seen. The ponies and dragon laughed at my expression.

“Don’t worry about it, Dave,” said Twilight. “It’s Spike’s special talent: he links my mail with Princess Celestia.”

“Dragon-fire message delivery,” I muttered. “What will the world think of next?”

“Well, while we’re waiting for a response,” Twilight went on, “tell me a bit about you, Dave. I know you’re not in the best of situations, but I’m interested to know how Equestria is treating you so far.”

I shook my head to clear it from the ‘what the heck’ I had just experienced, then said,

“I’d be lying if I said that Ponyville doesn’t have a certain charm to it," I said. "The ponies are certainly very welcoming and friendly. Pinkie, though, has proven a phenomenal friend in all of this. I’m lucky she found me.”

Pinkie smiled and leaned up so that she could nuzzle my cheek. Twilight smiled.

“I’d have to concur with you there,” said Twilight. “In Ponyville, there’s no better pony to make friends with than Pinkie Pie.”

Pinkie stuck out her tongue in a pleased way. That seemed to complete the circle of commendation on her good character.

“She’s certainly managed to find ways to make me worry less about my problems,” I consented, “but she’s also introduced me to her other close friends: Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy.”

“Oh!” said Twilight. “How wonderful! I’d figure Pinkie would introduce you to the rest of the gang.”

“So the seven of you are one big group of friends?” I asked, indicating Pinkie, Twilight, Spike, and a vague space meant to represent the others I’d met.

“Yep!” said Pinkie. “Six pony pals, and our little Spikey-Wikey!”

“Pinkie, don’t call me that,” Spike grumbled, exactly like a little boy being coddled by his mother.

“But Rarity calls you that all the time,” said Pinkie.

“It’s fine when she does it,” Spike muttered, “but anypony else doing it just makes it feel weird.”

Twilight just rolled her eyes smilingly.

“How did the two of you come to work together?” I asked. “Is Spike like your apprentice or something?”

“Not quite,” said Twilight. “I hatched Spike’s egg on the day I both got my cutie mark and secured my place as Princess Celestia’s student. We’ve been kind of inseparable ever since.”

I looked at Spike, who had broken out of his grumpy mood to grin in a way that confirmed what Twilight said as the truth.

“Until I moved to Ponyville, most of my time was taken up in my studies,” Twilight went on. “Spike was still just a hatchling, and Princess Celestia raised him for the most part, but I wasn’t lonely, thanks to my books-”

“Naturally,” Spike muttered to me, earning a swift and sour look from the purple unicorn.

“My foalsitter, Cadence, and my BBBFF, Shining Armor.”

Wait, what? I could guess that ‘foalsitter’ was a pony babysitter, but what was a ‘beebeebee-effeff?”

“Uh, what was that last part?” I asked.

“Big Brother, Best Friend Forever,” Twilight explained.

“Ohh,” I said, comprehending. “So your best friend was your brother? Sounds like a swell guy.”

“He’s the best,” said Twilight, fondly. “Strong, kind, and a natural leader. He’s Captain of the Royal Guard for a reason. Sure, he may be busier now that he’s married to Cadence, but-”

“Whoa-whoa, wait a minute!” I interrupted, surprised. “There was a lot in that explanation that can’t just fly so easily!”

Twilight tilted her head in puzzlement, and I counted the things off on my fingers, which I couldn't help but notice she observed with interest.

“So, not only are you the personal protege of your country’s princess, but your brother is the Captain of the Royal Guard, and he’s married to your foalsitter?”

Twilight nodded.

“...Twilight, you're one lucky pony!” I said, after a stunned pause.

Twilight’s face flushed a brilliant shade of magenta.

“Sorry,” I said, catching myself. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you like that.”

“No, no, it’s ok,” said Twilight. “I’m flattered that you think so highly of me, but sometimes I'd rather not just be known as Princess Celestia’s student. I’m not just Twilight Sparkle, protege to the princess, but I’m also Twilight, owner of the Golden Oak Library.”

“Oh, I can understand that,” I said. “I mean, if it were me, I'd just feel overwhelmed. If you want, I can try to keep the ‘Princess’s student’ thing on the down-low for you.”

“Thanks,” said Twilight, gratefully.

“On the other hand,” I said, “running a library’s a sweet job. I’ve always wanted to work in one. I love reading.”

Twilight’s eyes lit up again.

“Do you?” she asked, excitedly.

“Ever since I was a kid,” I said. “I’d always been more of an indoors person.”

“Me too!” said Twilight. “Ohh, I had no idea I’d have such a common link with a live human! Dave,” she added, in a more business-like tone, “we have got to arrange a sit-down so we can talk about things in your world. There’s so much I want to ask!”

“You mean like a Q&A?” I asked.

“Mm-hmm!” she said, nodding eagerly.

“Well, that does sound like a neat idea," I said, "but it all depends on what Princess Celestia has to say.”

All of a sudden, there came a loud gagging noise from Spike, and I saw his cheeks bulge, as if he were about to vomit.

“Spike?” I asked. “You ok?”

In answer, he let out an almighty belch, accompanied by a tongue of flames, and from the fire, there materialized, miraculously intact, a sealed scroll. I felt my jaw drop again.

“A response from the Princess!” said Twilight. “Please read it, Spike.”

“With pleasure,” said Spike, plucking the scroll out of the air.

He unrolled it and read,

“My dearest Twilight,
I had indeed received notification of something of the sort earlier today, but had yet to send a dispatch to confirm whether or not it was true. A human, you say? Goodness, there hasn’t been a human in Equestria for ages! Know that I have complete sympathy for poor David in his plight, and I shall do whatever I can to find an answer. In the meantime, all I can recommend is that he lodge somewhere in Ponyville, perhaps with you or one of your friends, as I can think of nopony else more trustworthy. I do hope he and I may be able to meet in the future, as I am sure we have much to discuss.
Warmest regards to our new visitor,
Yours sincerely,
Princess Celestia.”

“Well!” said Twilight, pleased. “What do you know? Princess Celestia already approves of you!”

“Wow,” I muttered. “I had no idea she’d be so understanding. What’s she really like, this Princess Celestia?”

“She’s wonderful, Dave. I can think of nopony else as kind, as wise, or as powerful as Princess Celestia. She’d have to be strong, governing the sun all year round.”

“Heh, yeah, I can imagine.”

...Wait, what did she say?!

“Whoa, hold on!” I said. “Did you say...governing the sun?”

“Right,” said Twilight. “Princess Celestia makes the sun rise and set every day. Her sister, Princess Luna, does the same for the moon.”

“...The sun and moon need to be moved by pony magic? They don’t raise and set themselves?”

“No. Why?”

“...Why is every meteorological aspect so dependent in this place?!” I nearly shouted. “The clouds, sun, and moon need to be operated by pony influences? They’d never believe this back home!”

“No?” asked Twilight. “Do they work by themselves where you come from?”

“Yes!”

“Ohh...Wow," said Twilight, clearly astounded. "See, this is why we need to have this Q&A, so we can answer the unanswered!”

“I suppose so,” I said, still not quite over the whole ‘sun and moon’ thing, “but first I need to figure out where I’m going to stay.”

“You just leave that to me, Davie!” said Pinkie. “I know the perfect place for you to stay!”

“Oh really?" I asked. "Where’s that?”

“You’ll see,” said Pinkie, slyly.

“Aw, c’mon, you’re gonna keep secrets from me?”

“It won’t be as fun if I just say it and spoil the surprise,” said Pinkie.

“Twilight, can’t you talk some sense into her?” I asked, appealing to her.

“Sense? Into Pinkie Pie?” asked Twilight, in an incredulously amused tone. “Dave, that’s like asking Rarity not to comb her mane 100 times before bed! It can’t be done!”

Pinkie burst into a hearty fit of laughter, joined soon by Twilight, then Spike, and at last, in spite of myself, me. Then, suddenly, Twilight stopped laughing. Her face fell into a pained frown, and she clapped her hooves to her head.

“Oww…”

“Twilight!" I cried. "Your headache! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it act up again!”

“No, no, it’s all right," said Twilight. "You actually made me forget about it for a while.”

I looked away, embarrassed at such a compliment, though not in a bad way. She reached out and put one hoof on the back of my hand, in a friendly way.

“If it’s all right with you, I want to get some more rest, and I don’t doubt you’ll want to settle in.”

“Oh, no, that’s fine!” I said, truthfully. “I didn’t mean to keep you from healing up. It was really great to meet you, Twilight.”

“Same to you, Dave. Like I said, you’re welcome back anytime, so don’t be shy.”

“Oh, trust me, I won’t be.”

"And I promise," she added, meaningfully, "I'll find a way to get you home, no matter what it takes. You have my word."

I knew she meant it, by the look in her eyes. She, like Pinkie, like the rest of their friends, had faces of those you could trust with your life. I nodded to show my grateful understanding, and Twilight lay back down to settle on her pillow. Spike moved in to pull a blanket over her.

“Hey, Spike?” I spoke up, and the little dragon looked at me. “Thanks, for sending the letter and all that.”

“Not a problem,” he said, with a grin. “Take care.”

“See you both tomorrow!” chirped Pinkie.

Twilight just smiled warmly as she nestled her aching head into her pillow, and so Pinkie and I took leave of her and her dragon assistant, though I made sure to close the door softly as we left.

Sugarcube Corner

As we went along, I heard Pinkie humming a tune that seemed oddly familiar. It sounded like a victory ballad I’d heard in a video game once. At first, I was confused, but then figured it was just her way of congratulating herself on achieving one of her objectives: introducing me to her closest companions. Still how did she know such a song?

At last, she came to a sudden halt that nearly made me topple over her.

“Pinkie, can’t you warn me before you do that?” I asked, irritated.

“Sorry. It’s just, we’re here!”

"Here where?"

"Where I live! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!"

She pointed to a building in front of us. I looked up at it, and blinked in surprise.

Sugarcube Corner was like nothing I had ever expected. It looked like a much more upscale version of the gingerbread house that the witch from Hansel and Gretel lived in: gingerbread-colored roof bordered by what looked like icing, candy cane support beams near the door, and at the very top was what looked like a giant cupcake, decorated with enormous birthday candles. Even from where I was standing, the smell coming from the establishment was intoxicatingly sweet.

“You mean you live here?” I asked.

“Yep!" said Pinkie. "Live and work! Isn’t it great? That means I don’t have to worry about being late for work, because I’m already at work!”

“That…makes a lot of sense, actually," I conceded.

It also made sense how Pinkie kept up all of her energy: she lived where there was a ready supply of it. It also explained why she was chubby.

“Come on, let’s go in!" she said. "It’s time to meet the Cakes!”

“The Cakes?”

“Yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, my bosses! They’re amazing bakers, and I know they’ll just love to meet you!”

(‘Meet the Cakes’. Sounds like the title of a really cheesy movie.).

Inside, it was nearly the same style of candy-themed architecture, with a glass-fronted countertop at the back, where the cash register stood, and several tables and chairs for customers. A set of swinging doors led to the kitchen, while a set of stairs led upwards to where Pinkie and the Cakes must reside. It wasn’t that crowded, as it was nearing sunset (I still couldn’t believe we had spent so much time out and about), so I caught a glimpse of a few ponies as we entered. A purple Earth pony with a cutie mark resembling a cluster of grapes was downing a glass of something with particular relish, while in a back corner, a gray pegasus with a messy blond mane and a cutie mark resembling bubbles was eating a muffin.

“Aha!” said Pinkie, suddenly. “Just the pony I was looking for. Wait here, Davie. Hey, Derpy!”

As she trotted over, the pegasus looked up, and I felt myself give a double-take. She was cross-eyed; her sun-yellow pupils were looking off into different directions, though one must have been focused on Pinkie, as she smiled brightly. Pinkie went right up to her and started to whisper something into her ear. On occasion, I saw her eyes flit towards me, so it made me wonder what she could have been saying.

All of a sudden, right out of nowhere, I was tackled right to the ground, as if a dog had pounced on me. Looking up, I saw that I had been pinned down by the green unicorn who had reacted so excitedly when I first came into Ponyville. There was an enormous grin plastered on her face, along with a manic enthusiasm glimmering in her vibrant orange-yellow eyes.

“Um…hello?” I asked, hesitantly.

“Hi! Oh, gosh, this is so great!”

Her voice was hyperactive, yet sweet-toned. It must‘ve been a byproduct of the cutie mark.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for this day?? Oho, my friends said I was crazy, but who’s crazy now, huh??”

She leaned in close as she said this, pressing her snout to my nose.

(Gee, how about the psychotic unicorn keeping me pinned down? And where’s Pinkie when I need her??)

Turning my head, I could just see Pinkie, and the pegasus was getting up and flapping her way to the door. Without even turning to see what I was doing, Pinkie trotted off toward the back.

(Don’t leave me!)

“I have so many questions!” the unicorn went on, and the string of questions came out in a rapid-fire fashion, so it was all I could do to catch them. “Do all humans wear clothes? What’s it like having hands? Or fingers? Or toes, for that matter? Is it true that humans are related to mon-keys!”

This last syllable came out as a yelp as she was tugged off of me. I saw that she was being restrained by her companion from earlier, the cream Earth pony with blue and pink hair. She looked quite harassed.

“Lyra!" she said. "That’s no way to behave!”

“But Bonnie! It’s a real human!” whined the unicorn, Lyra, “Everypony thought I was just making stuff up, but he’s living proof! See?”

“I know, I know,” said the Earth pony, wearily. “Look, I’m sorry I doubted you, Lyra, but really, I knew you’d take this too far.”

Lyra cast her eyes downward, ashamed. The Earth pony turned to me.

“I’m so sorry about that, sir. Lyra’s harmless, just excitable.” She then added, levelly, to her friend, “Now, say you’re sorry, Lyra.”

“Sorry,” Lyra mumbled.

“It’s all right,” I said, getting up. “It's actually kinda flattering to know you're so eager to know about humans.”

“Exactly!" said Lyra, triumphantly. "See, Bonnie? I'm eager, not crazy.”

The Earth pony rolled her eyes.

“In any case, I’m Bon Bon, or Bonnie, as my friends call me, and this is my best friend, Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Pleased to meet you both," I said. "And Lyra?”

The unicorn looked up.

“It looks like I might be here for a while. I’m sure I can find time to feed your curiosity.”

That delighted look appeared on her mint-green face again.

“Just…keep your questions reasonable, ok?” I asked.

“Ok! Thanks!”

She threw her hooves around me in a hug, and then galloped out the door.

“Come on, Bonnie! Race ya home!”

Bon Bon sighed.

“Roommates. What can you do?” she said, wearily, but she gave me a gentle smile as way of farewell and galloped after her friend.

At that same instant, Pinkie returned, followed by a pair of Earth ponies who must have been the Cakes. Mr. Cake was a lanky, square-jawed, yellow stallion with an orange mane and tail. He wore a paper hat, a large bow tie, and a white apron. Mrs. Cake was a short, plump blue mare with a pink mane that resembled a swirl of whipped cream, wearing a yellow apron bordered with pink, as well as spherical pink earrings. Mr. Cake’s cutie mark was a trio of what looked like carrot cake squares, and Mrs. Cake’s was a trio of cupcakes.

“Here he is, Mr. and Mrs. Cake!” said Pinkie, cheerily. “This is Dave! Davie, these are my bosses: Mr. Carrot Cake and Mrs. Cup Cake!”

“It’s a pleasure,” I said.

“Goodness me,” said Mrs. Cake. “To think we’d see the day when we’d have a human in our bakery!”

“We’d heard the excitement out in the town square,” said Mr. Cake, “but we were too busy to take a look ourselves. So you’re who everypony’s been talking about?”

“I am," I said. "I’m actually a little surprised how well everyone’s taking it. I mean, I thought they’d take one look at me and think I was some outside invader. That Lyra, though, she was all over me just a moment ago.”

Pinkie burst out giggling.

“Oh my gosh, that must have been so funny! Why’d I have to go off by myself so soon?”

“Trust me, if you were a witness, you’d never let me live it down,” I said, flatly.

Pinkie just grinned, and the Earth pony couple chuckled.

“What? What’d I say?” I asked.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” said Mrs. Cake, smiling, “From what Pinkie’s already told us, the two of you have been having a grand time together.”

“You honestly couldn’t have asked for better than to have run into her,” said Mr. Cake. “There’s no sweeter pony in Ponyville than her.”

“Aww, gosh…” said Pinkie, smiling in a pleasantly embarrassed way.

I couldn’t hold back a smile, either. In all honesty, looking at them, I wouldn't have been surprised if Pinkie was their daughter.

“And in any case,” Mr. Cake went on, “judging from how the rest of the town was talking about you, you sounded like a well-meaning young man.”

I looked at my feet, embarrassed.

“Well, I just don't like being a bother,” I muttered, humbly.

Pinkie adopted a more serious expression, however, at this moment.

“Mr. and Mrs. Cake, I have a really big, super-duper favor to ask of you.”

“Oh? What’s that?” asked Mrs. Cake.

“Davie’s kind of stranded here. He’s away from his parents and friends, can’t contact them, and he has nowhere else to go. Could he stay here with us for a while?”

Wait a minute, what?

That was Pinkie’s secret plan? To have me stay with her in her home?

...Why didn’t I see that coming?

As for Mr. and Mrs. Cake, they looked at each other in astonishment. I shared their sentiments.

“Pinkie,” I finally said, “I couldn’t possibly impose like that, not after what you’ve already done for me.”

“You wouldn’t impose,” Pinkie insisted. “You can stay with me in my room!”

I couldn’t help but redden a bit at this. Sharing a room with someone I only just met was awkward enough, but to share a room with a girl was something else entirely.

“Really, Pinkie, I can just stay in a hotel. It’s no big deal.”

“Without any money?” Pinkie asked, wryly.

“...Touche,” I consented.

It seemed, however, that Mr. and Mrs. Cake had come to a decision.

“We don’t see why you can’t stay, Dave, as long as Pinkie’s willing to share her room,” said Mr. Cake.

Were they serious?

They were really this willing to open their arms, er, forelegs to a complete stranger, and one of an entirely different and relatively unknown species?

“Of course, we might need to make some adjustments,” said Mrs. Cake. “I’m sure we have a mattress somewhere that’d suit you just fine.”

“I…I don’t know what to say…” I stammered. “I don’t deserve this level of kindness when you don’t even know me.”

“Oh, nonsense, dearie,” said Mrs. Cake. “You’re Pinkie’s friend. She seems fond of you, and it looks like you two have gotten along so well in such a short time. We’d be glad to have you as our guest.”

“It’ll be great, Davie, I promise!” said Pinkie. “We’ll have a fun time!”

“We’ll make sure everything's set up as soon as we close for tonight,” said Mr. Cake. “Does that sound good?”

For a moment or two, I was at a loss for words. At last, feeling moist about the eyes, I said,

“…That sounds perfect. Really, I can’t thank you enough. You ponies are all just…wonderful, opening your doors and your hearts to a complete stranger like me.”

“It’s no trouble at all,” said Mrs. Cake, kindly. “Pinkie's never wrong about the friends she makes.”

“Pinkie, why don’t you show Dave the room?” suggested Mr. Cake. “Help him get situated.”

“Okey doke, Mr. and Mrs. C!” said Pinkie. “Come on, Davie! My room’s upstairs!”

With that, Pinkie bounced her way up the stairs, and I followed close behind, still numb from what had just transpired.

Pinkie’s room was at the very top of Sugarcube Corner, in the giant cupcake that sat like a tower on the pinnacle. It made sense, to be perfectly truthful. As we came up the stairs, however, she stopped me for a moment to point down the hallway.

“Bathroom’s first door on the right, and the babies’ room is second on the left.”

“Oh, all right," I said, then stopped short. "Wait, babies’ room? You mean the Cakes have babies?”

“Yep!” Pinkie beamed. “They’re the proud mom and dad of two healthy young foals! You want to meet them?”

“Well, I don’t know, Pinkie. I’m not the best with babies.”

Truer words couldn't have been spoken. It’s not that I hated kids; I was a regular kid at heart, myself. I just couldn’t stand being in public places or in the same vicinity with a baby or fussy child; the crying got on my nerves greatly.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be fine,” said Pinkie, reassuringly. “They're asleep, so you don’t have to introduce yourself to them. Then again, why would you need to anyway, if they're sleeping?”

Off on another of her tangents…

Thankfully, we were already at the door, and she opened it quietly. The room was wallpapered blue, though I'd wanna say periwinkle, just to be fancy. At one end was what looked like a treasure chest, filled to capacity with stuffed animals, and in the other was a crib with a sun, moon, and star-themed mobile. Inside, nestled beneath their blankets, sound asleep, were two tiny baby ponies. The colt was tan with a brown mane, with a small pair of wings on his back. The filly was yellow with an orange mane, a unicorn’s horn on her forehead.

“This is Pound and Pumpkin,” I heard Pinkie whisper, indicating them in that order.

I couldn’t help but “aww” quietly at how precious they were. It seemed like no matter how loud or obnoxious babies could be, they always seemed to look the cutest or most pleasant while sound asleep. I turned to Pinkie, and saw that she was regarding them with motherly affection. She quietly approached the crib, leaned over, and, one by one, kissed both foals on the forehead. The babies smiled in their sleep as they shifted further into their blankets.

I was quite touched; despite Pinkie’s overabundance of energy and crazy behavior, she had a heart as soft and warm as a fresh-baked brownie.

“You make a wonderful aunt,” I whispered, as we left the room.

“Thanks,” she whispered back, sweetly.

She quietly closed the door, and we continued up the stairs. As we ascended, a sudden feeling of perplexity struck my thoughts.

“Hang on. Mr. and Mrs. Cake are Earth ponies, right?”

“Of course!”

“But those babies were a pegasus and unicorn.”

“Yeah?”

“…How does that work?”

“Oh, it’s easy! Mr. Cake’s great-great-great-great-grandfather was a unicorn, and Mrs. Cake’s great-aunt’s second cousin twice removed was a pegasus!”

She beamed, as if her answer was satisfactory, but it wasn't to me. I was more confused than ever. Still, I thought better than to question her further on it, so I decided to shift to a different topic.

“Pinkie, I meant to ask, but forgot about it until now: how were you the only one who noticed me land in Equestria? I mean, it must've been far off, but anyone must have seen a person tumbling out of the clouds.”

“That’s easy, too," said Pinkie. "My tail was twitching!”

She stopped, as if there was nothing more to say, but that kind of answer wasn't good enough for me.

“Your…tail was twitching?” I asked.

“Yep!”

Again, her tone suggested no need to say more.

“…Pinkie, you have to remember, I’m new to what goes on in Equestria-”

“Ohh! That’s right! I’m sorry, Davie. I’m just so used to everypony already knowing it by now. See, I get these feelings in my body that tell me when something’s going to happen. In this case, my tail was twitching, and that means something’s going to fall. And lo and behold, you fell!”

She emphasized this with a poke to my side. Was she being serious?

“…Pinkie, that had to just be an extremely wild coincidence," I said, reasonably. "No one can predict things based on weird twitches or spasms.”

Pinkie giggled.

“Oh, Davie. Twilight used to be just like you. She didn’t believe in my Pinkie Sense either, but now she does!”

“Wait, hold on, it has a name?" I asked. "‘Pinkie Sense’?”

“Yep!”

“And Twilight believes in it?”

“Uh-huh!”

“…You are just full of surprises, Miss Pie.”

“Thanks!”

We finally arrived outside a very colorfully painted door, decorated with a rectangular plaque that read “PINKIE’S ROOM”. She pushed it open, and we both walked into the most vibrant room I had ever seen.

It seemed as if every single paint color had been used at least once for certain spots. Despite seeing Pinkie’s bed and dresser nearby, the place seemed much more like an enormous party room, made for entertainment or celebrations. There were even balloons and streamers here and there on the colorful, pastel walls. A stairway led to a second level where I could just see a door, one that I presumed led to a balcony.

“Do you like it?" asked Pinkie. "I designed it myself!”

“That’s easy to see," I said. "You must throw a lot of parties in here.”

“Yep! Well, sometimes in here, sometimes in the entertainment room down on the first floor, sometimes out in the middle of Ponyville-”

She seemed to be going off on another tangent, so I took the time to walk around and explore. Almost instantly, however, Pinkie halted mid-sentence and said,

“Careful, Davie! My shoulder’s achy! That means Gummy might be wandering around somewhere.”

“Gummy?" I asked, puzzled. "What’s a Gummy?”

“Not a Gummy, Gummy.”

It was getting a little annoying how she expected me to know these things that were obviously familiar to her, and was about to speak my mind on it when I felt something touch my leg. I looked down, and felt a cold shiver run down my spine.

Clinging to my right leg with its little feet, gazing up at me with enormous, purple eyes, was an alligator. Granted, it was the size of a house cat, but it was still an honest-to-goodness alligator!

I yelled and shook my leg violently, trying to get it to come loose.

“Get it off! GET IT OFF!”

“Hang on, Davie! Don’t worry!”

Pinkie galloped over and, with one deft movement, swiped the alligator from my leg, taking it in her hooves as if it were a baby. I rounded on her, flustered and angry.

“Pinkie!” I snapped. “What the heck are you thinking, keeping an alligator in your room?!”

“Relax, silly! It’s only Gummy. He doesn’t even have any teeth. See?”

She held him up to my face, making me recoil. The gator opened his mouth, and I saw that Pinkie was quite right: there wasn’t a single tooth in there, only gums.

“Still, Pinkie,” I finally managed to say, “an alligator? Really?”

“Aww, but he’s so cute!”

‘Cute’ was a relative term. I’d never felt inclined to think of reptiles as ‘cute’ before, considering I was an extreme ophidiophobe and avoided snakes as much as I could. Still, being so small and innocent-looking (especially with those off-kilter eyes), Gummy did have a certain appeal to him.

“Besides, he’s harmless!” Pinkie added.

As if to demonstrate, Gummy sprang from Pinkie’s hooves and latched onto her foreleg, making her giggle. If it were any other alligator, I would have called Animal Control, but seeing as this was her pet, I assumed that was just the little guy’s way of showing affection.

“Well, this should prove to be a very interesting stay,” I said.

It was certainly shaping up to be so: talking ponies, obscure genetics, Pinkie Sense, and a toothless pet alligator were all pretty difficult to swallow, but if I was to have any chance of getting by, I’d have to learn to accept them.

“I know, right?” said Pinkie, gleefully. “We're gonna have the best time ever!”

She flung her forelegs wide, sending Gummy flying. Luckily, he landed in a basket lined with soft pillows, a yarn ball, and a teddy bear, labeled “GUMMY” in colorful lettering. There, he curled up, still gazing off into space with his wide, staring eyes, as if nothing had happened. It was a little unsettling.

“So,” continued Pinkie, “any idea what you want for dinner?”

I pondered on that, not quite sure what to say. I couldn’t exactly say I was looking forward to the prospect of pony cuisine, but I didn’t want to just assume that all they ate was oats and hay. They had a bakery, at least.

Suddenly, Pinkie’s eyes widened, and she let out a happy gasp.

“I know! I’ve got the bestest-best idea ever!”

It was amazing just how often she could actually will herself to say ‘bestest-best’. At this point, it was feeling like the inside joke of a movie.

“It’s a special day, since I found you, so I’ll cook for you!”

“Oh? You cook?” I asked, interested.

As soon as I asked, I felt it was stupid to have done so. Why else would she work in a bakery if she couldn’t cook?

“Sure! The Cakes let me help them bake all the time!"

"You've already done so much, though," I said. "I can't ask you to-"

"But I want to!" Pinkie insisted. "Pleeeeease?"

She looked up at me with huge, pathetic puppy-dog eyes, a look that went straight into the depths of my heart. How could anything possibly be this adorable?

“Well, I guess I’m game," I said, bringing a gleeful smile to her face. "What did you have in mind?”

“Wait and see!” she said, in a singsong voice. “It’s gonna be great! We’ll just have to wait until we close for the night. Is that all right?”

“Of course.”

“Great! Let me show you around, then!”

Without further ado, Pinkie grabbed me by the hand and whisked me off to give me a tour of her room, or what would temporarily become ‘our’ room, I should say.

My Dinner With Pinkie

The sun was now barely a sliver over the horizon, bathing Ponyville in a reddish-golden glow. Sugarcube Corner had emptied out of all of its customers, and I was sitting alone at a table in the main parlor, waiting for Pinkie.

She had been in the middle of showing me around her room, and was just introducing me to her party cannon, a portable armament capable of blast-decorating a room for a party in mere seconds, when Mr. and Mrs. Cake had come up to check on us, dragging in a sizeable mattress in good condition, and that seemed to tell Pinkie that closing time had arrived. In a twinkling, she took me downstairs just as the last of the customers were walking out, and she plunked me down right at one of the tables before zipping off to the kitchen. I figured it was for the best, so that the Cakes could get the bed properly set up, and she seemed to have something big in mind for dinner.

As I sat and waited, I thought about all that had happened to me today, and could hardly believe it had only taken place in one day. Landing in an odd new land with no clue how I did so, meeting talking, pastel-colored ponies, seeing real-live unicorns and pegasus ponies…

And then there was that book.

I lay it down on the table before me. Until now, I’d completely forgotten about it. I vaguely remembered having owned it, but there wasn’t much else that made it stand out. It was just an ordinary notebook. Despite that, even though I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, there was something about it that nagged me.

It must have been that torn page. If someone else hadn’t taken it, why was it ripped out? Was it coincidence? An accident? Or was it because that page had something written on it, something not meant to be read?...

“Buonasera, signore!”

Having been concentrating all of my thoughts on the notebook, the sudden shout gave me quite a start and made me drop it. I looked up, and almost burst out laughing at what I saw.

Pinkie was standing in front of me, wearing an apron, a chef’s toque, and the biggest fake mustache I’d ever seen in my life. She was standing on her hind legs, and was balancing a metal serving tray on one hoof.

“Welcome-a to Sugarcube-a Corner! I’m-a Pinkamena, and I’ll-a be-a your server tonight-a!”

She was using such an exaggerated Italian accent that it was extremely hard to keep a straight face. Still, one thing had caught my attention in the string of Italian babble. Pinkamena? Was that her real first name?

“Our-a special tonight-a is spaghetti and-a wheat-a balls with-a breadsticks!” she went on.

‘Wheat balls’. I felt like I could fill the Marianas Trench with the sheer number of Equestrian puns being tossed my way today. Still, it didn’t sound too bad, even if it wouldn’t be real meat.

“Sure, ‘Pinkamena’,” I said, “I’m game. But really, you can just be yourself.”

Pinkie let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank goodness! Do you know how hard it is to keep up that accent? Be right back then, Davie!”

She winked and zipped off, leaving the phony-baloney mustache behind. I looked back down at the notebook. Just the way it was taunting me with its mysteriousness was aggravating me, so I laid it on my lap, out of sight, and hopefully out of mind.

From up above, I could hear the Cakes moving about, probably deciding where the best place for the mattress would be. I felt a pang go through my heart as I thought of them busting their backs for my sake. I hated to have to make them do all the work, and was more than willing to do it for them. In fact, I had half a mind to head upstairs and offer to move the mattress myself. I wasn’t normally the type who enjoyed being asked to do labor like that, but I just couldn’t help feeling a twinge of guilt when I thought of people going to so much trouble just for me.

I was pushing my chair back, and the sound of the dull scrape of its legs on the floor must have alerted Pinkie, as she poked her head out.

“Davie? Is something wrong?”

“Nah, Pinkie. I just want to help Mr. and Mrs. Cake with the mattress.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, silly!” said Pinkie.

“But I’d hate to have them be going through the trouble just for my sake,” I said.

“Don’t worry about it, Davie,” said Pinkie, “it’s fine, really. You’re our guest.”

She said this in such a firm, yet gentle, tone that I knew there was no room for argument.

“If you’re sure…”

“Of course. Now, I won’t be too much longer.”

She ducked back inside the kitchen, and I pulled my chair back up. Now, I enjoyed spaghetti just as much as the next person, especially if meatballs were involved, but I was also rather picky when it came to eating. Most vegetables, with a few exceptions, weren’t my cup of tea, especially onions. They always seemed to be an inescapable staple when it came to spaghetti in tomato sauce, but I didn’t want to be rude about Pinkie’s cooking, so I’d just have to bear with it if she did include them.

Finally, the kitchen doors swung open again, and Pinkie zipped over to the table, precariously balancing two plates of spaghetti on a tray on her head, decorated with what looked exactly like meatballs. With expert ease, Pinkie slid the plates off her head, one landing in front of me, the other in front of her. Then she dashed back off to the kitchen, returning with a basket full of golden-brown breadsticks. A tantalizing smell of parmesan cheese and garlic filled the room.

“Bon appetit!” she said, brightly.

She didn’t need to tell me twice. I fell to immediately, trying a wheat ball with some of the noodles before anything else. It was…interesting. It was like biting into a ball of freshly-cooked bread dough, kind of like a hushpuppy, and while it didn’t exactly taste like a meatball, it was just as satisfying to eat. Pinkie hadn’t started yet, but seemed to be waiting for my approval after my experimental taste.

“So? How is it?” she asked.

I took a moment to wipe my mouth with a nearby napkin before answering.

“Pinkie, I can easily say that this spaghetti is molto bellissimo!”

I didn’t really speak Italian; I was one of those guys who only knew common, overused phrases of certain languages. I helped myself to a breadstick, dipping it in the tomato sauce before biting into it. Thankfully, there were no onions in the sauce, after all, and it itself was flavored with what tasted like oregano and even a little pepper. Pinkie seemed extremely gratified by my approval, and dug in with gusto.

“Do you usually cook this kind of stuff, Pinkie?” I asked.

“Oh, no, only on special occasions," said Pinkie. "I mostly just help with baking stuff! And today was a super-special occasion, after all: making my very first human friend!”

“That is a special occasion, I suppose,” I said. “And I could say it is for me as well: making my first pony friend.”

Pinkie smiled warmly at this.

“So you like working at a bakery?” I asked.

“It’s the absolute best! I get to make yummy sweets and see my friends visit every day!”

“I know you said earlier, when we were talking with Rainbow Dash, that you were friends with ‘everypony’," I said, gesturing with a breadstick. "Do you really mean everypony?”

“Yep! I’ve thrown at least one party for everypony in Ponyville, and even then, everypony else attends anyway, so I always see them!”

“Do you even know when everyone’s birthday is?” I asked, impressed.

“Yep, even if it’s months away!” said Pinkie, proudly.

Whoa. That was an extremely impressive memory for someone so...exuberant. I’d started warming up to her as the day went on, and had felt touched when she wanted me to be her friend, but to think that she had the heart and mind to remember everything about everyone who lived in her hometown...That was something truly special.

“And to think it could happen to somepony like me,” said Pinkie. “I mean, a rock farm’s the last place you’d expect to find a party pony.”

I paused, my fork halfway to my mouth with a dripping wheatball hanging from it. I couldn’t possibly have heard that right.

“Er, what did you say, Pinkie?” I asked.

“‘And to think it could happen to-’” Pinkie began, but I cut her off.

“No, no, Pinkie, after that. You said something about a farm?”

“Yep! My family’s rock farm!”

I stared at her. She stared back, as if she hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary at all.

“What?” she asked, innocently.

“I’m just having a hard time wrapping my head around the concept of a rock farm," I said. "I mean, I’ve heard of people keeping pet rocks, but a whole farm of rocks?”

“Well, somepony’s gotta do it, and those someponies are my family!” said Pinkie, proudly.

(Must be a real barrel of fun down there.)

“And you learned to be who you are...there?” I asked, skeptically.

“Yep! I saw a rainbow that showed me how to smile for the first time! From that day forward, I dedicated my life to spreading that joy to everypony I met, and I started by throwing a party for my family!”

“Wow," I said. "That’s...an odd way to start, but I guess we all have to start somewhere, right?”

“Mm-hmm!”

The rest of the meal passed in relative silence, partly because I was still stunned about the idea of a rock farm, but also because if we got hooked on another conversation topic, we’d run the risk of our food getting cold. Then again, I couldn’t remember the last time I had been as verbal as I had been all throughout today.

To be perfectly honest, I rarely ever spoke, unless the topic was something I could understand. I felt like whenever I did speak, no one else responded, or they thought what I said was odd and didn’t have anything to do with what they were discussing at the moment. So, it sometimes made me feel like I shouldn’t speak at all, since my opinion didn’t seem all that valid. It was just like Mark Twain said, “it is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt”. However, if I was talking to a good friend, I could become rather animated, if a little meek, when I spoke. Pinkie and these ponies were just like that; they had a way of making me get over the fact that I didn’t like talking very much. They were easy to talk to, and so understanding of what I said. It was refreshing, to say the least.

At last, our plates were cleaned. That is to say, Pinkie actually licked hers spotless, and when she looked up, saw that mine still had leftover sauce on it.

“You gonna eat that?” she asked.

“Be my guest,” I said, handing it to her with an amused chuckle.

Grinning gleefully, she proceeded to clean it up like a happy dog when offered a plate of table scraps.

“That was an excellent dinner, Pinkie,” I said.

She looked up, her pink face splashed with tomato sauce.

“Thanks, Davie! I’m glad you enjoyed it!”

At that moment, Mr. and Mrs. Cake made a reappearance, grinning in amusement at Pinkie’s sauce-besmirched face.

“Well, Dave, the bed’s all set up, if you want to go take a look,” said Mr. Cake. “I think you’ll be more than comfortable.”

“Thanks a bunch. I wish I could have given you both a hand.”

“Oh, not at all, sweetie,” said Mrs. Cake. “It was our pleasure. I take it dinner went well?”

“Better than well, Mrs. Cake!” said Pinkie, slurping the sauce from her own cheeks. “Well, come on, Davie! Let’s go see our new room!”

Pinkie bounded up from the table, and I followed after her, still more than a little befuddled by the prospect of ‘our new room’.

Surprise!

I had to give the Cakes credit. The bed, separated from Pinkie’s by a nightstand, was quite comfortable, and big enough for me to stretch out on. As I sat and tested it, Pinkie sat on her own bed, grinning at me.

“How is it?” she asked.

“Cozy,” I said, satisfied. “I’m gonna sleep like a baby on this thing.”

“Does that mean you’ll need a diaper and a bottle?” Pinkie asked, tilting her head.

“No, Pinkie, it means...Forget it.”

Suddenly, Pinkie’s ear twitched. She sat stiffly, tense as a bowstring, her ear perked. Straining my own ears, I felt I could hear it too: a low, distant rumble of voices from below.

“What’s that?” I asked. “I thought it was closing time.”

“You know what? Why don’t I go check it out?” Pinkie asked, her smile widening for some reason. “I’ll be right back.”

She hopped off her bed and bounced away. leaving me by myself. Apparently, ponies could come and go as they pleased, even if an establishment was closed for the night. This was a weird world I’d stumbled into.

Sitting here by myself finally gave me time to ponder over my situation, and aside from the fact that I at least had a roof over my head, it didn’t look enviable on other counts. I only had one set of clothes, which had already grown dirty from all I’d done today (though Rarity promised to amend that), no toiletries (I probably stank too), no money (what was the exchange rate in Ponyville, anyway?), no phone (did they even get reception out here?). In fact, I didn’t even have a way of contacting my family.

My family...They must be beside themselves with worry by now, if they’d realized I was gone. I wracked my brains again, trying to remember what I had been doing before waking up in Equestria, but nothing came. The time before I had woken up was all a vague blur. If only I could just let them know I was fine, it would have made things much more bearable, but the very fact that I couldn’t, and that they would be saddled with worrying about me when I was alive and well, even across such a far distance, brought tears to my eyes, and a pain in my throat, as if I’d swallowed a baseball bat.

But it was worse, much worse.

What if I never got back to them at all? The pain in my throat increasing, I recalled all the times I’d been distant from them, impatient with them for being asked to do something, unwilling to partake in their activities when I didn’t feel like it, even if I wasn't even meaning to be rude. None of those times could ever be amended for. What if I’d gotten into a fight with my parents before being whisked off, and I never was to be given the chance to say ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I love you’?

Such a thought burned in me like a hot iron, and the tears dripped onto my hands as I clenched them on my knees, trying my hardest to keep from sobbing.

(Mom...Dad...if only you could hear me...If only you knew...)

A sudden knocking at the door snapped me back to reality.

“Davie?” came Pinkie’s voice.

I swallowed, trying to keep my voice steady as I spoke.

“Yes, Pinkie?”

“Could you come with me? There’s something I need to show you.”

“Uh, sure, Pinkie. I’ll be there in one second,” I answered back.

I wiped my face on a corner of the comforter covering my bed, got up, and headed for the door. To all appearances, nothing had happened.

“That was like 10 one-seconds, mister,” said Pinkie, pouting, as I emerged.

I couldn’t help but grin. This pony really did know how to make others smile.

“Relax, Pinkie, I wouldn’t leave you hanging,” I said, ruffling her mane.

Her pout disappeared, and her smile returned.

“I know, silly. Now, come on! You don’t want to miss this!”

She dashed down the stairs leading back to the main area, and I followed, curious as to what I was urged not to ‘miss’. Was there a meteor shower tonight? Something about the moon? Whatever it was, it had put Pinkie into a profound excitement. As I approached her as she waited at the bottom of the stairs for me, I could see her pudgy body practically shivering with anticipation.

“Ok, what’s the big surprise?” I asked, crossing my arms, smiling at her behavior.

By way of answer, she pushed the door to the bakery open.

“SURPRISE!!!”

Whether it was the collective shouts that assailed my eardrums or the sheer force of the sight that met me that staggered me, I don’t think I could guess. At any rate, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing: Sugarcube Corner was packed with innumerable ponies, most of which I could recognize as either being part of the crowd in the town square, customers at Sugarcube Corner, or Pinkie’s closer friends. The only ones I couldn’t see were Twilight and Spike, no doubt absent because of the former’s headache. There were streamers and balloons set up, and a large table with tasty-looking refreshments and a punch bowl. Over in the corner was a turntable, where a grinning unicorn DJ wearing enormous shades was standing. I just stood there, absolutely bewildered.

“Pinkie…how…what…when did you have time to do all this??” I stammered.

“Easy!” said Pinkie, who was grinning from ear to ear. “I asked Derpy to go around and spread an impromptu invitation!”

She pointed to the pegasus with the wonky eyes, who smiled jovially and waved at me.

“After Mr. and Mrs. Cake were done upstairs, I took you up so that you wouldn’t see everypony come in! I went to go help set up, then came and got you!”

“Pinkie,” I said, after a stunned silence on my part, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t, yet!” said Pinkie, still grinning. “There’s one more thing I have to do!”

She zipped off, and in the next instant, she returned with a small, colorfully-painted wagon, shaped vaguely like a treasure chest on wheels. She pressed a button on its side, there was a clicking and whirring noise, and the top slid open to reveal flags, trumpets, what looked like striped organ pipes, and a glass-fronted box. All at once, music, like a carnival calliope, began to play. As it did so, Pinkie began to caper and dance as if she were in a vaudeville performance, and then she started singing,

“Welcome, welcome, welcome, a fine welcome to you

Welcome, welcome, welcome, I say how do you do

Welcome, welcome, welcome, I say hip-hip-hoo-RAY

Welcome, welcome, welcome, to Po-ny-ville

To-DAAAAAAY!"

She finished this up with a slide on her knees, forelegs held high. The dance itself was funny to see, but she also had a surprisingly sweet singing voice.

“Wait for it!” said Pinkie, excitedly.

Then, suddenly, with a ding, the glass front on the box sprang open, and jettisoned a freshly-baked cake straight past me and onto a nearby table. So it was an oven; very clever. Then, the striped pipes let out a boom, and confetti came blasting out, raining it down on everyone present. Everypony attending applauded by stamping the floor with their hooves. I would have been surprised if the ruckus didn’t wake up the babies.

“Yes!” cheered Pinkie. “I knew I’d gotten it right!” She whispered as an aside to me, “You wouldn’t believe how many times I got the confetti and cake mixed up.”

I shuddered to imagine such an occurrence, but moreover, I was extremely touched. Pinkie had gone out of her way to give me a proper Ponyville welcome in her own way, when she hadn’t had the time or opportunity to do it earlier, and all planned out before dinnertime! I regarded her with re-misting eyes.

“Pinkie, you don’t know how much this means to me. Thank you.”

With a smile as warm as a preheated stove-top, she threw her forelegs around me in a hug, and I returned it. A collective “aww” floated through the attendees.

After Pinkie released me, I picked up a glass of water and held it up for a toast. I could a feel a speech in me on a whim.

“Everypony, before we get this party underway, I’d like to propose a few toasts.”

Everypony held up their own glasses, either with their hooves or by unicorn magic.

“First, to Twilight Sparkle, who I can see was unable to attend, due to a recent magic-induced headache. I’ve had the honor of meeting Miss Sparkle today, and can only express my regrets at her absence, and my wishes for her speedy recovery. To Twilight!”

“To Twilight!” said everypony.

“Second, to you, Ponyville. You’ve made a stranger outside of your norm feel as welcome as if I were one of you. I can only hope that during my stay, I can repay you for your kindness. To Ponyville!”

“To Ponyville!”

“Third, to Princess Celestia, who knows of my presence in Ponyville. I can only express my gratitude for her understanding of my situation, and hope to be of service to her when I can. To Princess Celestia!”

“To Princess Celestia!”

“And finally, but certainly not least…to Pinkie Pie.”

Pinkie looked up.

“It was she who discovered me, and if she hadn’t, I might not have been introduced to the Equestrian way quite as handily, as I’m told there’s no better friend than her. I heartily believe that now.”

Pinkie’s cheeks turned red with pleased embarrassment.

“To Pinkie Pie!”

“To Pinkie Pie!”

"All righty, then, Ponyville!" said Pinkie, bouncing up and down in excitement. "Let's get this party started!"

The DJ started up a record that wouldn’t have been out of place at a disco dance party, as everypony started dancing and mingling, and Pinkie led me around to introduce me to those in attendance that I hadn’t formally met. From her, I learned that the purple pony with the grapes cutie mark was named Berry Punch, a yellow mare I’d seen with a very curly orange mane and a carrot cutie mark was known as Golden Harvest, and she elaborated on the gray pegasus, Derpy Hooves. She was one of Ponyville’s mail carriers, and even if she sometimes misplaced her deliveries, she was very faithful and friendly, and had a deep fondness for muffins.

I was spared the awkwardness of trying to decide which of her mismatched eyes to focus on as Pinkie took me off to introduce me to more ponies. However, she got caught up in the music, which she claimed was her ‘jam’, and went to dance, so I was left to mingle by myself. Naturally, I gravitated over to where Pinkie’s other best friends were, gathered at the refreshment table. The four of them looked up and brightened at the sight of me.

“Well, well, it’s the man of the hour himself!” Rainbow said.

“Good to see you again, dear,” said Rarity.

“Howdy, big guy!” said Applejack.

“Hello again, Dave,” said Fluttershy.

“Hey, girls! Glad you could make it! Then again, I had no idea this would be going on. Pinkie’s really unpredictable.”

“Don’t we know it,” said Rarity, with a small sigh.

“But everypony knows that Pinkie throws the best parties in Ponyville!” said Rainbow.

“I can see why they'd say that,” I said. “I’ve never seen a party like this before. It’s amazing how much thought she puts into setting them up.”

“She always did have an eye for what’s ‘fun’,” said Rarity.

“So whatcha been up to?” asked Applejack.

“Well, Pinkie had actually treated me to a nice dinner of spaghetti and wheat balls,” I said.

“Oh, that sounds delicious!” said Fluttershy. “I have my own recipe for it, of course, but I’m sure hers was perfectly tasty, too.”

“You cook too, Fluttershy?” I asked, interested.

She looked away, bashfully.

“Well, I wouldn’t say I’m good at it…” she mumbled.

“Aw, c’mon, sugarcube, don’t be so modest,” said Applejack, putting a friendly foreleg around the shy pegasus’s shoulders. She then said to me, “How do ya think she takes care of all them animals she keeps?”

“Good point,” I said.

“Really, I’m only good with soups and salads, mostly,” Fluttershy insisted. “So many of my pets are herbivores, anyway.”

I decided to pour myself a glass of punch while this was going on.

“What’s in this?” I asked.

It looked bluish-purple, and there were lemons in the punch bowl.

“Oh, it’s Pinkie’s special recipe,” said Rarity. “I believe she calls it a…” She tapped her chin with her hoof in thought. “What was it, Applejack?” she asked the farm pony.

“I think she said it was a ‘fruit-tastic jam-bonanza’,” said Applejack.

That did sound like something Pinkie would say.

“Ah, yes, thank you, dear. And it’s, er…Gummy’s favorite,” she added, with slight hesitation.

I wasn’t quite sure what the hesitation was for; maybe Rarity wasn’t a fan of reptiles, like me. At the worst, she could be implying that Gummy…Nah, that was just silly, and kinda gross. I took a sip, and my eyes popped wide open. It was like an explosion of fruit flavors dancing on my taste buds!

“…Wow!” I exclaimed. “It’s like Pinkie made two parties: one out here, and one in my mouth!”

“When Pinkie parties, she goes all out!” said Applejack.

“I can certainly see that. Bringing in a live DJ, too. I wonder how much that cost.”

“Probably not much,” said Rainbow. “Vinyl and Pinkie are pretty tight.”

“Vinyl?”

“Yeah, Vinyl Scratch, or DJ P0N-3. That’s her stage name.”

I looked over at the DJ. Her coat was white, and she had an electric-blue mane striped with lighter blue. She was wearing obnoxiously huge purple-tinted shades, and her cutie mark resembled a pair of musical eighth notes. She was up on her hind legs, fore hooves on the turntable, bobbing her head in time with the beat. Pinkie did seem to have a very wide, very diverse selection of friends. Then again, I suppose that was expected when you were friends with everyone in town.

Looking around at all the party guests, it made me realize how shabby and unkempt I must have looked, which in itself is a poor thing, being the guest of honor. Sure, my hair was fine, but my clothes were still worn and used-looking from the very active day I’d undertaken.

“Something wrong, dear?” Rarity asked.

“I just feel a little out of place with how messy I am among all you clean ponies,” I said, ruefully.

“Aw, it’s no big deal,” said Rainbow, waving an airy hoof. “You’ve got the perfect party animal look to you in that getup!”

“Do I?” I asked, puzzled.

“Trust me, dude, you’re fine.”

“And besides,” said Rarity, rolling her eyes at Rainbow Dash, “he shall have a fresh new ensemble soon enough. I’ll see to that.”

“Thanks, Rarity," I said. "It still means a lot to me that you’re willing to do this.”

“Oh, let’s not fret about that just now,” said Rarity, holding up her hoof. “This is a party, is it not?”

“So get your party on, monkey boy!” said Rainbow, giving my shoulder a punch.

“I’ll certainly try,” I said, rubbing my shoulder, though I added to myself, as I turned away, “I don’t think I’ve ever had a party to ‘get on’ in my life.”

*Special props to Daniel Ingram for composing Pinkie's Welcome Song*

A Party to Remember

It would take too long describing that happened during that party; it was one of the best I’d ever attended, and I wasn't usually a party person.

Pinkie had started a game of Pin the Tail on the Pony, which I, of course, was roped into taking part in. When I took my blindfold off to see where I’d pinned it, I cringed a little, as I had put it right at the pony’s snout, so that it looked like it had one half of a flamboyantly huge mustache (and anything with half a mustache must have been pretty hard on the eyes). This got a big laugh out of the ponies watching, and even I couldn’t help joining in.

Next, I managed to fall into talk with Bon Bon and Lyra again. The latter was no less excitable than earlier, and only made me smile at her antics when I saw that she was emulating the way a human would sit in a chair, rather than how a pony normally would. She went into a kind of relaxed slouch that reminded me of a man sitting in an armchair watching football on a lazy Sunday, complete with a little rounded belly. It was amusing to me, but Bon Bon looked exasperated; apparently, she did this a lot, just to push her buttons.

As her friend was keeping an eye on her, Lyra didn’t dare try to plug me with questions about humans, but instead told me about the two of them. She was a lyre player, and a talented one at that, as ponies would tell you, originally from Canterlot, and had known Twilight before, but back when she had been more interested in her books than anything else. While they didn’t connect very often, they still stayed on relatively good terms, and she had even been made a bridesmaid at her brother’s wedding, but that was a long story, so she spared me of it. She also knew another fellow musician, a cellist named Octavia, who was part of a symphony orchestra. What surprised me was that Lyra told me she was on close terms with Vinyl Scratch, the DJ. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend how a cellist and a DJ could possibly be friends, but I figured it was just like how Rarity and Pinkie were friends.

As for Bon Bon, she was a confectioner, a maker of sweets down at the appropriately titled ‘Bon Bon’s Bonbons’. She even brought some of her best treats as refreshments. Gladly, I tried a sample, and was absolutely blown away by the chocolate decadence packed into such a tiny little treat. Lyra told me she got ‘free samples’ all the time, since she also assisted Bon Bon as a taste-tester at her shop. The candy-maker joked that Lyra’s love for her confections certainly showed on her, giving her a poke in her belly to emphasize. I couldn’t help but smile at the friendship of these two. They seemed so different, yet went together as if they had been meant to all along, just like Pinkie’s friends.

While Rainbow Dash was impressing some ponies in a corner with mid-air juggling, Fluttershy watching with an expression of mixed apprehension and excitement, something else was going on in the center of the room. Heaping buckets of apples had been brought in, no doubt part of the refreshments, and Pinkie seemed to have bet Applejack she couldn’t eat more than she could, let alone finish what was in front of her. The steely glare that appeared in the farm mare’s eyes told me that she took that as a bona fide challenge, and was ready to prove Pinkie wrong. Something like this could only end badly, but unfortunately, I was unable to intervene, as the contest began.

Both ponies ate with stupefying vigor, shoveling apples into their mouths and down their throats. Rarity, who was watching, looked disgusted at the display, but Rainbow, who had stopped juggling to observe the contest, was whooping and hollering at the top of her lungs, though who she was rooting for I didn’t know. In the space of mere minutes, both buckets were emptied, so it seemed the contest was a tie, but the real victory seemed to be in the conditions of the competitors. Pinkie was looking full and satisfied, patting her rounded middle, while Applejack was looking queasy, one hoof to her overloaded stomach. In the midst of the cheering, I came over and told her that she at least managed to eat all of them, but that seemed to only make her cheeks greener, so I backed off.

As all good things eventually come to an end, the party finally seemed to wind down around midnight. Pinkie appeared to recognize it as well, as she signaled to Vinyl Scratch. The unicorn nodded and grabbed the nearby microphone with her magic, speaking into it in a sort of “too cool for rules” voice.

“All right, everypony! Just got a word from the Pinkster! She hereby names this bash a complete success!”

Many cheers came from the ponies still standing. Others were just plain pooped.

“You’ve all been great, and I wanna give a shout-out to our guest of honor, human Dave! Great party, dude! This is DJ P0N-3, signing out!”

With one deep, reverberating note, the turntable switched off, and I joined in the applause that followed. I strolled over to the DJ as she started packing up.

“That was some pretty impressive record-work, Miss Scratch,” I said.

She looked up.

“Whoa, man, Miss Scratch is what the teachers called me when they wanted to tell me off. Just Vinyl’s ok.”

“Right, sorry. Vinyl. Lord knows one of the things that keeps a party afloat is a DJ with an ear for a good beat.”

“Ah, thanks, man,” she said, giving me a friendly punch on the arm.

It seemed like the tomboys were always ready to hit me to show affection, but I guess that was just their way. I left her to continue packing up, and when I turned back, she actually lifted her shades, showing me vibrant red-purple eyes, and winked. I gave her a small smile in return and headed for the door, where the guests were wishing each other good night and heading off, but not before wishing me a good night in turn. Lyra had fallen asleep and was snoring noisily, so Bon Bon had to carry her off on her back. It didn’t look like a very comfortable burden, and I offered to help, but Bon Bon shook her head.

“It’s all right, really. It’s not the first time it’s happened, trust me.”

She gave a small giggle and staggered out the door with her roommate draped across her back. I guess it was true what they say: those who party the hardest also crash the hardest.

The last to leave were Pinkie’s other friends. They seemed to want to help clean up, but the pink pony insisted that they didn’t have to stick around.

“Really, Pinkie, it's the least we can do,” said Rarity, gingerly holding her hoof up to avoid stepping on a discarded banana peel, regarding it as if it were a poisonous spider.

“Well, I mean, it'd be easier if I had a reverse party cannon for after parties,” said Pinkie, a twinkle of inspiration in her eye.

“Trust me, Pinkie, I don’t think the world is ready for that yet,” Rainbow said.

Rarity was using her magic to levitate trash and throw it into the nearby garbage cans. It was amazing how much she could pick up, which was lucky, considering how squeamish she was around the clutter and mess. Rainbow Dash was at work clearing up by swooping around the tables at remarkable speed, going in and out from the room in multiple trips as she cleared away. Fluttershy looked as if she were about to fall asleep on her hooves, and Applejack was keeping her steady, though she still looked sick and a little bloated. I decided to come over and talk.

“Hey, Applejack?”

“Hmm?” She looked up.

“Are you gonna be all right? I mean, you look kind of…ill.”

“Aw, shucks, don’t you fret none, sugarcube,” she said, with a wave of her hoof. “Ah’m no stranger to eatin’ contests. When Big Mac and Ah were younger, we used to turn meal times into an all-out war.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought.

“I’ll bet Granny Smith didn’t like that one bit.”

“Actually, she was the judge,” said Applejack, grinning when she saw the surprise that answer brought me, “and a downright hard one to please. She’d inspect our plates if it looked like we tied, and Ah swear, she’d always side with Big Mac.”

She gave a huffy snort, but still smiled all the same.

“Still, do you need any help getting home?” I asked.

“Nah, Ah’ll be all right. A little jog home might do me some good. Thanks for asking, though. It’s awful sweet of ya.”

“Aw, well,” I said, bashfully.

At that moment, Fluttershy stirred.

“Huh? Whuh? Oh, dear, did I fall asleep? I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, Fluttershy,” I said. “Party’s over, and we’re all a little tired.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear,” she said, yawning. “I’d better be getting home, then.”

“Ah’ll walk with ya, Fluttershy,” said Applejack. “No sense in letting ya head home alone if ya can’t even stay awake on your hooves.”

“Oh, Applejack, I couldn’t possibly-”

“Hush,” said Applejack, gently, but firmly. “Y’all just get on my back. No arguments,” she added, as she saw the pegasus’s mouth about to open to protest, “Ah’m used to carryin’ heavy loads on my back, and yer practically light as a feather.”

“…All right.”

Fluttershy clambered, a little awkwardly, onto the sturdy Earth pony’s back.

“Are you sure I’m not too much of a load, Applejack?” she asked, timidly.

“Huh?" asked Applejack, giving quite a show of surprise. "Oh, did you already climb on, Fluttershy? Ah didn’t notice.”

She winked, and that brought a smile to the pegasus’s face.

“Good night, you two,” I said, with a chuckle.

“‘Night.”

“Good night, Dave.”

With that, Applejack walked off with her sleepy friend on her back, wishing the others good night as she went.

“Well, I think that should do it,” said Rarity, the glow fading from her horn.

I couldn’t help but stare. It seemed as if I’d only taken my eyes off for a few moments, but she and Rainbow had done wonders. In the space of my conversation with Applejack, the room was tidy once again, all traces of the party whisked away.

“Wow,” I breathed. “I never thought you two would make quite the clean-team.”

“Well, all it takes is an eye for detail and a bit of elbow grease,” said Rarity.

“Yeah! Rarity’s got the eye, and I’ve got the…”

Rainbow stopped mid-sentence, and her tone immediately changed to one of indignation.

“Hey, did you just call me greasy?”

“Certainly not, Rainbow!” said Rarity, sounding scandalized. “Perish the thought!"

"Good," said Rainbow, grinning cockily. "I may be a well-oiled machine when I'm at the top of my game, but I'm no grease-monkey."

"I never implied anything of the sort, Rainbow Dash," said Rarity. "Although, I have to wonder how much 'grease' goes into making your mane stay the way it is.”

“Oh, you can't get locks like this with any gel,” said Rainbow, giving her unruly mane a toss. “All-natural, 100% Dash. I’ve got my own personal charm.”

There was no denying that. For all her bragging and her rough-and-tumble attitude, the tomboyish haircut did suit her rather nicely, at least to me. Rarity rolled her eyes with a light smile.

“Well, then, dears, I should be off home. I just hope Sweetie Belle’s asleep by now.”

“Your sister?" I asked. "What’s she been up to all night?”

“She did insist on coming, but it’s a school night, and I wouldn’t hear of it, so I sent her to bed early. You just have to be firm sometimes.”

“Yeah, I guess. Well, good night, Rarity.”

“Good night, darling. I’ll see you later.”

She trotted out the door.

“See her about what?” asked Rainbow, raising an intrigued eyebrow.

“Keep your suspicions to yourself, Miss Dash,” I said, flatly. “It's about those new clothes Rarity mentioned earlier, since these are the only ones I have.”

Rainbow stared, then burst out laughing.

“What? I mean it!” I said, indignantly.

“No, not that!’ she managed to gasp out. “It’s just, the way you said that was so serious, it was funny! Especially with that face!”

“What face?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

Rainbow snorted, trying to choke back another laugh. I couldn’t help but feel a bit nettled. Back home, I was often told that I ought to have a better sense of humor. My sense of humor was just fine; I just didn’t like being laughed at.

“Aw, come on, don’t get mad,” said Rainbow, calming down enough to speak. “I’m just teasing you.”

“I know, I know,” I said, with a sigh. “I just like being taken seriously too, you know.”

“You just gotta loosen up. That’s what the party was for.”

She cuffed my shoulder, though not as roughly as earlier.

“Sleep tight, dude. Night, Pinks!”

She swooped off through the door.

“Night, Dashie!” called Pinkie, before turning to me. “Well, Davie, I think it’s time we headed for bed, too.”

“I agree, Pinkie," I said, yawning. "I’m exhausted.”

Slowly, the two of us made our way upstairs, Pinkie’s full stomach wobbling slightly with each step. She winced every so often, but was still smiling. I think she may have overdid it with the apples.

Gummy was already curled up in his little basket when we arrived, gazing at me with his purple eyes. I hadn’t had the opportunity of properly addressing myself to him before, so I decided to walk over and kneel by him. His gaze followed me as he rolled over onto his back. In a way, he was kind of cute.

“Hey, little fella,” I said.

I reached out a tentative hand. Luckily, he didn’t snap at me (even if there was no danger in it), and allowed me to scratch under his chin. His eyes closed in bliss as I scratched, and one of his little back feet kicked. I couldn’t help laughing; the mini-gator was like a puppy, if puppies were smooth, scaly, and bug-eyed. In fact, he acted a lot like a dog I had back home.

“You like that, don’t you?” I cooed. “Who’s a good boy? You are, yes you are.”

“Aww, I think he likes you!” said Pinkie, who was watching.

“Heh, yeah. I’m not trying this on a full-grown gator anytime soon, though.”

Pinkie giggled, but it was interrupted by a groan as she clutched her belly.

“Owie. I think I’m still too full from the party.”

“Does it happen often?” I asked, a bit concerned.

“Sometimes. I think it’s just when I get carried away, like at really super-duper fun parties.”

“Like tonight’s?” I asked.

“Like tonight’s,” she said, with a smile.

I smiled back, then looked back at Gummy. He had turned over onto his side and was breathing quietly, sound asleep. I pulled the little blanket at the end over him.

“Sweet dreams, Gummy,” I murmured.

“You’re a natural,” said Pinkie, sweetly.

“Guess you rubbed off on me, with the twins,” I said.

Pinkie’s eyes widened, and she looked at her side.

“I rubbed off on you? I didn’t know you could do that! Did I lose some of me?”

“I didn't mean...Oh, never mind. Let's just get some sleep. I haven’t got any pajamas, so I’ll have to sleep like this. Shouldn’t be too bad, though. It’s a cool night.”

I crossed over to my mattress and settled down on it. I took off my glasses and my wrist watch (thankfully, the latter was still functioning) and set them on the bedside table. Pinkie had managed to heave herself onto her own bed.

“Good night, Davie!” she said.

“Good night, Pinkie.”

Pinkie reached over and clicked off the light, plunging the room into darkness, save for the moon filtering through the window. I laid my head back against the pillow and closed my eyes, letting the coziness of the bed and the utter quiet around me envelop me and drift me off to slumber. It had been an extremely weird day, but at least I’d survived. Now, all there was to think about was what tomorrow would bring.

“…vie?”

“Da…e?”

“Davie?”

I groaned. Something was prodding me in the ribs. I had no idea what time it was, or if any time had even passed. I was not about to look at my watch and give myself a reason to gripe. Turning over, I saw Pinkie. She was looking at me with a sad, almost pleading expression.

“Pinkie?” I muttered. “What is it?”

“My tummy really hurts, and I was having bad dreams.”

“You were? Well, I don’t want to sound rude, Pinkie, but that’s what happens when you eat so much before bed.”

“I know. I ought to know that better than anypony, but it’s never been as bad as this.”

Groggy as I was, I couldn’t help but feel pity at how pained Pinkie looked, even if she did bring it upon herself.

“Well, what do you want me to do about it?” I asked.

“I know this is gonna sound weird, but could I sleep in your bed? With you? Maybe you could rub my tummy, make it feel better?”

(She can't seriously be asking this, can she?)

"No," I groaned, before I could stop myself.

"No?" asked Pinkie, and her hurt tone caught me off guard.

"Maybe?"

"Maybe?"

"I don't know."

"Please?"

This was just way too bizarre. She was actually asking me to rub her belly? True, it was because she had a stomachache, but still...From what I'd seen in just this one day, in this world, ponies were equal to what humans would be in my world. Wouldn’t this be peculiar? I just didn’t know what to do. I was torn between a desire to help and concern for not understanding what was acceptable or unacceptable in pony society. That was just like me: never sure about doing anything unless I knew it wouldn’t be weird or taboo. There was a word for it that people preferred to label it with: wishy-washy.

I looked at Pinkie, and there was a loud, angry gurgle from her pained belly as she winced with a small whimper, her ears flattening.

That was the last straw.

(Confound these ponies. It should be illegal for them to be so cute.)

“Climb aboard, Pinkie,” I said, with only a hint of resignation.

Her pained frown turned into a smile.

“Oh, thank you, Davie,” she said.

She clambered onto the bed, making it creak with the extra weight, and turned over onto her back so that she was lying on top of me (almost crushing me with her weight), her head under my chin, her blue eyes gazing up at me cutely. I couldn’t suppress an eye roll at what I was about to do, but I manned up and began gently massaging her middle. It felt warm, soft, and squishy beneath my touch as I ran my hand in a circular movement around it. I still couldn’t believe I was doing this, but Pinkie at least seemed to relax, as she let out a sigh.

“Pinkie, you are going to tell me when I can stop, right?”

No answer.

“Pinkie?…Pinkie!”

“Huh? Whuh?”

“I said you are going to tell me when I can stop, right?”

“Oh! Yeah, of course!”

“Good.”

I just lay there in silence, my hand automatically rubbing her stomach as if on autopilot, as she settled into me cozily.

“Did you have fun tonight?” she finally asked.

“Eh? Oh, of course I did. It was a nice finish to what was otherwise a weird day. I still can’t believe it only happened in one day.”

“But was it still a good day?”

“Of course it was. I mean, I still wish I knew how the heck I got here, but Ponyville…it’s starting to grow on me.”

“Is it? Ooh, that sounds painful, and kind of gross!”

“What are you-” I was about to ask, but then it hit me, and I couldn’t even muster a groan or slap my forehead at the absurdity of it. “Seriously, Pinkie?”

“What?” she asked, innocently.

“Nothing. You are just so random.”

I gently ticked her side, and she giggled, wriggling her back legs.

"You wanna know something else, though, Pinkie?"

"What?"

"I may have thought you were, well, a little weird at first, but I'm glad you're my friend."

I saw Pinkie smile that cute, warm smile of hers.

"Thanks, Davie. I'm glad you're my friend, too."

There was another loud gurgle, and she suddenly grimaced.

“Pinkie? Are you ok?”

The gurgling persisted, and then, without warning…

*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!*

It was astounding how the room was still standing after a gastronomical explosion of that magnitude, and the Cakes, especially those twins of theirs, must have been heavy sleepers to survive that kind of noise. I, for my part, was at a loss for words. Now, I liked toilet humor just as much as the next person, but I had never witnessed a belch quite like that. At the very least, Pinkie’s gut had noticeably shrunken to about its normal size, though still a bit doughy to the touch. I guess the bloating and discomfort was just gas.

“Feel better?” I asked, gently, resisting the urge to gag.

“Much!” she said, grinning. “Thanks, Davie. That really helped.”

“Glad to be of service,” I said, ironically.

“So, I guess you can stop now.”

I removed my hand, but she just made herself more comfortable.

“Uh, Pinkie?”

“Hmm?”

“This wasn’t part of the deal.”

“Aww, but you’re so warm and cozy. Just for tonight?”

She looked up at me with those big puppy dog eyes. Now that was just an unfair tactic…

“All right, all right,” I said, with a sigh, “but just for tonight.”

“Yay!”

She turned over, wrapped her forelegs around me and snuggled closer. I sighed and tugged the blanket up over the both of us. Still, I couldn’t stay too mad at her. If it weren’t for her, I might not even have been here.

“Pinkie?”

“Mm?”

“Thanks…for letting me stay, for the party, for showing me around. It really was very sweet of you.”

“You’re welcome, Davie. You’ve still got a lot of learning to do, though.”

“Of course, and I wouldn’t learn from anyone else but the best,” I said.

She smiled, though her eyes were closed and she was already drifting off.

“Good night, Davie."

"Good night, Pinkie."

Morning in Ponyville

Even with my eyes closed, I could still feel the sun shining into the room, and I groaned. I wasn’t a morning person, by any stretch of the imagination. Even when I knew I should probably get up, I didn’t want to just get out of bed. Call it silly, but I just couldn’t tear myself away from the coziness of my sheets so easily when it was too early. Perhaps that was it; maybe it was the familiar feeling of not wanting to get out of bed that made me wonder if I was not, after all, back at home, and that everything that had happened had all been a fantastic dream.

“It was just a dream,” I muttered to myself. “I dreamed that I’d landed in a world called Equestria, and I met a bunch of talking ponies, and walked around with one named Pinkie Pie, and we had a huge party until midnight. When I open my eyes, I’ll be right back in my own bed at home.”

I couldn't hold back a hint of regret as I said it, as it had been a pretty pleasant dream, if dream it was.

Slowly, I pried my eyes open…and found myself gazing into Gummy’s blankly-staring face.

So it wasn’t a dream after all.

“This is real, then?" I asked. "I really am lying on a bed in Pinkie’s room, with a miniature alligator staring me in the face?”

Gummy’s purplish eyes blinked unevenly in response.

“That’s what I thought.”

I shifted to get up, and Gummy scurried off of me and onto the floor. I glanced at my watch. It read 7:00, so it was no wonder why I wasn’t feeling up to getting up. Pinkie was nowhere in sight, and I wondered when she’d left. All I remembered was her snuggled warmly against me, sleeping soundly. Then again, I slept like a rock, so it wouldn’t have been difficult to do something beyond my notice while I was asleep. It had been a weird, yet not wholly unpleasant feeling, Pinkie sleeping beside me. It had been like a very warm teddy bear or a faithful dog resting against me, comforting and reassuring.

I stretched, feeling the old aches from yesterday disappearing, then wondered what I ought to do. Obviously, since Equestrian ponies lived like humans in my world, they’d practice human-like cleanliness, but I wasn’t too jazzed about showering just to put on old clothes again. Still, what else could I do?

“If Pinkie comes back,” I said, looking at Gummy, “can you tell her I’m using the bathroom?”

Gummy gave his tail a small twitch, which I hoped was affirmative.

“Great, thanks.”

I left the room and headed off to the bathroom.

Within 10 minutes, I was gratefully washing off the grime and weariness from yesterday, feeling wholly refreshed and renewed. Since I didn’t have my own toiletries, I’d had to make due with the Cakes’ soap and shampoo. The bottle had said it was for manes, but surely it wouldn’t have any adverse side effects on human hair…right?

For a while, I didn’t want to leave, and just stood under the relaxingly warm water, letting it soothe the aches I’d ignored from all the excitement I had experienced. At last, however, I switched the water off, grabbed a towel from nearby, and, after rubbing myself dry and wrapping it around my waist, I stepped out of the shower.

Good thing, too, for, after a preliminary knock, the door opened, and Mrs. Cake peered in. We were both quite startled. I stumbled back against the tub and nearly toppled back in.

“Oh! Goodness! Dave, I am so sorry!” said Mrs. Cake, shielding her face with her hoof. “I must not have heard the water going.”

“Oh, no, no! It’s not your fault, Mrs. Cake,” I managed to say, feeling like I almost had a heart attack. “I should have remembered to lock the door.”

I internally scolded myself for forgetting this most basic rule of privacy. It would have been a lot more awkward if I had not had my towel on, so I also thanked myself for taking precaution.

“I was just coming up to see if you were awake, dear,” said Mrs. Cake. “Breakfast will be ready shortly.”

“Great! Thanks. Again, sorry about-”

“Oh, no trouble at all. My fault for being a nosey Nellie.”

She laughed good-naturedly, then closed the door behind her. I gave myself a slap in the forehead for being such a forgetful dunce, then, making sure I locked the door this time, I went about getting dressed.

As I imagined, it didn’t feel too pleasant having to dress back in used clothes, but I would have to make due for the time being, until Rarity could manage to make me new ones. I figured it would be quite a pricey operation to accomplish, and I’d most definitely need to talk to Pinkie about how bits worked. Whatever the case, I came downstairs, re-dressed, to find the Cakes seated at one of the tables in the main area, enjoying breakfast. Pound and Pumpkin were awake and seated in high chairs, sucking on milk bottles. They stopped drinking to gaze at me with big, curiosity-filled eyes, brown for Pound and blue for Pumpkin.

“Hello there!” I cooed, crouching in front of them. “You must be Pound and Pumpkin.”

They just continued to stare at me in interest, so I pulled a silly face in front of them, hoping to make them laugh. Instead, I felt a sharp pain stab the back of my hand, as if someone had slammed a hammer down on my knuckles. I had leaned my left hand on Pound Cake’s high chair, and he had slapped his two little hooves down on it with incredible force. That must be where the little tyke got his name…

The pained grimace I made seemed to be enough to get them laughing, so I forced a smile.

(Lovely. They’re the kind of babies that laugh at other peoples’ pain…)

“Oh! Morning, Davie!”

I breathed a sigh of relief at this timely diversion. I turned to see Pinkie back out of the kitchen, a stack of pancakes balanced on her back. She slid it off onto a nearby table, then trotted over, grinning.

“Sleep well?” she asked.

“Like a log," I said. "How long have you been up?”

“Since dawn. We’ve got to be up super-duper early to get ready for the morning rush!”

I felt a pang of nervousness at the sound of that, and it must have shown on my face, as she added,

“Don’t worry! We’ve still got time. So, you’ve been playing with Pound and Pumpkin?”

“You could say that,” I said, massaging my sore hand. “Listen, Pinkie, we need to talk seriously for a bit.”

“For a bit? Ooh! Like for a contest? Seems like an itty-bitty prize, but sure, I’ll try!”

I had no idea what she was talking about, but then she lowered her eyebrows in a glare and spoke in a hoarse deadpan.

“You gotta ask yourself, ‘do I feel lucky?’ Well? Do ya, punk?”

She said ‘punk’ with especial emphasis, causing her to spit in my glasses. She continued glaring at me, seriously creeping me out, but couldn’t seem to hold it in for much longer, and burst into a bout of giggles.

“That was fun! Where’s my bit?”

“I don’t have any, Pinkie," I said, dryly, "and that was my point. We need to talk about how I’m going to get by money-wise.”

Her eyes widened in comprehension.

“Ohh! Why didn’t you say so in the first place, silly billy? Have a seat, and we’ll talk!”

She hopped over to one side of the table, and I, rolling my eyes at her antics, sat down opposite her. From there, she doled out heaping piles of pancakes, and we dug in, talking in between bites.

“So, as you already know, Pinkie, I’m broke, and I have no idea how the Equestrian economy works, beyond knowing you use ‘bits’. Do you think you can teach me how to use them?”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!”

From seemingly nowhere, she hauled out a burlap sack that made a loud jangling when it hit the table. My eyes widened at the sight. It was about the size of a grocery bag, but full to bursting with little gold coins. Just the allure of such a bounty of gold would have brought a hoard of ‘49-er miners bursting from the ground with a ‘YEE-HAW!’

“Is that your life savings or something?” I asked.

“Nah, it’s just my month’s salary.”

My jaw dropped.

“That's a month’s salary?!”

“Lots of hungry ponies in Ponyville!” said Pinkie, happily. "Plus, some of these are from parties I throw, even though I'm more than happy to do them for free!"

“Sounds like you’ve got a neat and tidy profit going, Pinkie,” I said, impressed.

“You bet!”

“Well, I'm going to need some basic essentials to start off," I said, "like toiletries, but I don't want to have to dip into your money.”

“Aw, don’t worry, silly!" said Pinkie. "I’ll come with you to help you shop! You do the picking, and I’ll do the paying!”

“But, what about the morning rush?" I asked. "Won’t the Cakes need you?”

"Oh, we'll be fine, don't you worry," said Mr. Cake. "She's a big help during the rush, but we can hold down the fort until she gets back."

“So, we’ve got the whole morning to get you squared away,” Pinkie said, then became thoughtful again, “but why would anyone want to be ‘squared’ away? What about ‘circled’ away? Or even ‘triangled’ away?”

I sighed and shook my head, returning to my pancakes.

True to her word, as soon as breakfast was over, Pinkie led me out of Sugarcube Corner. She went along at her usual bouncing trot, while I strode alongside her, trying to keep up. Somewhere, a bell tower rang loud and clear, and I looked down at my watch. 8:00.

As if on command, by the bell, the ground began rumbling, and what seemed to be a stampede of ponies began dashing its way toward us. I stepped back, plastering my back against the nearest shop to avoid the incoming mass. Pinkie jumped back as well, but with nothing close to surprise or fear on her face. It seemed that these ponies were all part of the early morning rush for Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie made a rapid-fire hello to all the ponies as they went by, in one continuous stream.

“Hi-Lily-Hi-Daisy-Hi-Rose-Hi-Caramel-Hi-June Bug-Hi-Bon Bon-Hi-Lyra-Hi-Golden Harvest-Hi-Berry Punch-Hi-Shoeshine-Hi-Goldengrape-Hi-Cherry Berry-Hi-Lucky-Hi-Noteworthy-and HELLOOOOOO, Derpy!”

The last came to a stop as Pinkie called her name, and I saw it was indeed Derpy, the wonkey-eyed pegasus from yesterday, though she was walking instead of flying. She spotted us and trotted over with a big grin.

“Morning, Pinkie Pie! Hello, Mr. Dave!”

“Hi again, Derpy,” I said. “Part of the early morning rush, huh?”

“Yeah, but even when I get up early, I’m still behind the rest of the pack,” she said, a bit sheepishly.

“Aw, don’t worry, Derpy. We’ll always have a fresh, hot muffin waiting for you!” said Pinkie.

Derpy’s smile broadened.

“Thanks, Pinkie," she said. "That means a lot. It’s not just the breakfast rush, though. I also need to drop off my little muffin for school before collecting the morning mail.”

I raised an eyebrow. Dropping off a ‘muffin’ for school?

Just then, I saw movement by Derpy’s back legs. A tiny face peered from behind them, then ducked away when they noticed I was looking.

“Who’s that?” I asked.

Derpy followed my gaze and gave a slight chuckle.

“My little muffin.”

She leaned down and said, softly, “It’s ok, Dinky. Come on out. He’s a friend.”

Slowly, very slowly, a little filly, slightly smaller than Apple Bloom, shuffled out from behind Derpy. She was a unicorn, purplish in color, but still had Derpy’s messy blond mane and yellow eyes. She swung one of her forelegs, nervously, looking up at me once before looking away again. She was absolutely adorable, in her shy way. I felt like my heart was either going to melt or burst from my rib cage.

“Hi, Dinky!” cooed Pinkie, leaning down to meet her eye-level.

Dinky looked up with a happy gasp.

“Pinkie!” she chirped, running over to hug her.

Derpy smiled warmly, and I stepped over to stand beside her and watch. The little filly began tickling Pinkie, who wriggled on the ground, laughing.

“Your daughter?” I asked.

“Yeah. She’s seen me through my toughest days on the job. Neither storm nor rain nor heat nor gloom will make me let my little muffin down.”

I couldn’t help feeling a bit of mixed emotions at this. One the one hand, I had no idea Derpy was old enough to have a filly Dinky’s age. Then again, animals did age differently from humans. On the other hand, it was extremely endearing and comforting to know that underneath Derpy’s strange appearance and name, she had a very warm, caring heart. As she didn’t mention a father, however, I didn't think it would be right to bring it up, along with asking the obvious ‘if you’re a pegasus, why is she a unicorn’ question.

“You’re a credit to working mothers, Derpy.”

“Heh. Thanks, Mr. Dave.”

She looked up at me with a kind smile. What interested me, though, was that, at that moment, her eyes were correctly aligned. I returned the smile, and she then returned her attention to the playing ponies.

“Come on, Dinky! We don’t want to be late!”

Pinkie let out a disappointed “aww” as Dinky jumped off of her to rejoin her mother. She nuzzled against her side, and Derpy leaned down to lovingly nose her.

“See you guys later!” she said to us.

“Bye, Derpy!” said Pinkie.

“See you!” I said.

Derpy and Dinky hurried off to rejoin the breakfast rush, and Pinkie returned to my side.

“I have to admit,” I said, “she's full of surprises.”

“What do you mean?”

“I never took her to be a mother, but she’s certainly got the heart for it.”

“Yeah, and don't worry about Dinky. She warms up to new ponies really quickly, once she gets to know them. You'll be friends soon enough!"

"Think so?"

"I know so! Well, come on, Davie! We’ve got shopping to do!”

What else could I do but follow her as she bounced along.

Just like Pinkie said, all I had to do was browse around to find what I needed, and she supplied the bits for it, without any reluctance or protestations. The prices were unusually reasonable, too: 2 bits for a bar of soap, 4 for shampoo and hair gel each, 1 for a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste each, 3 for a loofah sponge, 5 for a shaving razor, and 4 for a large bath towel. I guess when you buy with gold, it makes everything seem reasonably priced. I didn’t bother with food shopping, as I was willing to go with whatever Pinkie and the Cakes cooked, and they took regular shopping days every week. So, by the end of an hour, I was comfortably squared away, and I still had until 2 to see Rarity.

Pinkie had actually shown me how ponies carried things around with them: in large saddlebags clasped around the waist, the two bags positioned at the hips. like a fanny pack. They must have seemed fashionable for ponies, but to be honest, I didn't think I could wear them like that. Maybe over the shoulder, like a mailbag? Pinkie had put on her own pair, bright blue with a balloon clasp, and had her money in one bag and my purchases in the other. I insisted on carrying them myself, but she told me it was no big deal. In fact, she went along in her usual way as if she weren’t weighed down at all. I couldn’t help but wonder if the laws of physics simply had any effect on her.

We passed by the Ponyville marketplace as we were coming back. This was where fresh food and flowers were sold in their respective carts and stalls. I could see stands for asparagus, carrots, celery, corn, tomatoes, cherries, practically any food found in the produce section of a grocery store. The one that caught my attention, however, was the apple stand. Standing by it, keeping an eye out for customers as well as watching the supplies, was Big Macintosh, Applejack’s older brother.

“Hi, Big Mac!” said Pinkie.

Big Macintosh looked up and spotted us, giving us a polite nod.

“Hey, Big Macintosh. Everything going good?” I asked.

“Eeyup.”

“Anything big planned for today?”

“Nope.”

“Just market work?”

“Eeyup.”

I felt a bit at a loss for what to say, what with his monosyllabic answers. Big Macintosh hadn’t spoken much yesterday, beyond that one word at brunch, and I could sort of guess he was the type that was more action than words. Still, I wasn’t sure whether it was because he was simple or just shy.

“Did Applejack get home all right?”

“Eeyup.”

“That’s good. I was a bit worried about her, what with that apple-scarfing contest last night. She’s told me you two have been regular rivals at the dinner table, though.”

“Eeyup,” said Big Macintosh, with a grin.

“I sometimes have eating contests with Pound and Pumpkin at lunch time, to see who can eat the fastest!” said Pinkie.

“And how do those go?” I ask.

“Hard to tell. They finish faster, but most of it goes on their faces. Silly foals!”

I chuckled at this.

“Guess they don’t know the rules of the game,” I said.

I looked at Big Macintosh, then at the apples.

“Say, Pinkie, you hungry for an apple?”

“Always!”

“We’ll take two, Big Mac,” I said. "Er, you don't mind me calling you that, do you?"

"Nope."

Big Mac doled out two big juicy apples, and Pinkie dumped 2 bits into the box used for a cash register.

“Thanks. Have a good day, Big Mac.”

“You too, Mr. Dave, Pinkie Pie.”

I gave a start, as these words came at me while our backs were turned. So he could say more than just 'Eeyup' and 'Nope'! Pinkie didn’t seem to notice, and she just trotted on, munching her apple. I whirled around to look at the spontaneously verbal stallion, but he only gave me something like a sly smile, as if he knew he'd just pulled a joke on me, so all I could do was keep going, befuddled.

(One thing’s for sure, these ponies never cease to surprise a person.)

As we returned homeward, however, Pinkie looked like something was troubling her.

“What’s wrong, Pinkie?”

“Sorry, Davie. With all that’s happened yesterday, I never got to tell you. I’m going to be super busy today, helping Mr. and Mrs. Cake and looking after the babies. Work really picks up after the morning rush.”

“Oh,” I said.

I was faintly disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to spend the day with Pinkie, but mostly because, so far, she had been my guide as well as my friend. I’d have gotten lost if she hadn’t be there by my side. Still, I was no stranger to disappointment and changes in plans, so I would have to make do with it and respect her schedule.

Seeing the worried look on her face, no doubt at the thought of me taking the news badly, I said, patting her mane consolingly,

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve got a job. I’d be the worst friend in the world if I kept you from that.”

She looked up at me with a grateful smile.

“Thanks, Davie. I was worried you wouldn’t understand.”

“As much as I’d love to be able to spend the day with you, I know you’ve got stuff to do. This could be a great opportunity for me to explore, you know?”

“Yeah! Great idea! Well, I’d better skedaddle. I’ll put your stuff in my room for when you get back.”

“Sounds great. Have a good day, Pinkie.”

“You too!”

After giving me a quick hug, she bounced off towards Sugarcube Corner, humming to herself. I watched her go, until her vivid double shades of pink were out of sight, then looked about at the wide, expansive Ponyville that lay before me. Not one minute in, and already I was lost for options.

An Afternoon With Twi

As I stood in the middle of the square, just watching the other ponies milling about, occasionally taking a bite of my apple, I became overtaken by that feeling that haunted nearly my every waking moment: uncertain indecisiveness. Honestly, it could be either uncertainty or indecisiveness, but I felt like combining the two was a much more appropriate term. This was where I had a lot of options open before me, but I had no idea which to take. Sometimes it was because I didn’t want to favor one choice over the other, especially if I had done it so many times before. Sometimes it was because I was trying to think out of concern for my peers. I was the sort of person who hated letting people down or disappointing them, so I most often had to go along with doing something I didn’t particularly enjoy or want to do, just for the sake of keeping them from feeling disappointed.

Call it whatever, but I just preferred to think that I was just trying to look out for others, even if it didn’t always look that way on the surface. Should I visit Fluttershy? Was she even awake after the party last night? Applejack was probably still trying to sleep off that apple-eating contest. Rainbow Dash was out of the question, since I had no way of accessing the skies.

And then it hit me. I even smacked myself in the forehead for not thinking of it before.

Twilight! The library! I could head on over there, spend some time with her and Spike, let myself get lost in a good book. With this plan in mind, I finished off my apple, tossed away the core into a trash can, and directed my steps to the Ponyville library.

Within minutes, I was standing outside the library, and I knocked on the door. There was a small clatter, like someone putting a book down on a stand, and then the sound of hooves. If that wasn’t evidence that Twilight was up and about again, I didn’t know what was.

Sure enough, the door opened, the knob surrounded by a purplish glow, and there she stood, all tiredness removed from her face. She looked a bit annoyed at first, but she brightened almost immediately upon seeing me.

“Dave! Hello again!”

“Hi, Twilight. Feeling better?”

“Completely! Zecora’s herbs really do the trick, even if they are an acquired taste.”

“Did I interrupt something?" I asked. "You looked a little out of sorts.”

“Huh? Oh! I’m sorry. I kind of get a little antsy when I’m jerked out of being ‘in the zone’. Funny," she added, reflectively, "that’s usually Rarity’s thing.”

“Oh, well, I’m sorry. If you want, I could just leave you to it-”

“No-no-no, it’s ok, you don’t have to leave!" said Twilight, hurriedly. "Was there something you needed?”

“Well, I have an appointment with Rarity at 2, and Pinkie’s going to be busy, so I thought I’d just stop over here, see you and Spike, maybe, I don't know, read for a while.”

“Oh! Well, come in, come in!”

She stepped back inside, and I followed, ducking once again to avoid conking my head on the door frame. A very thick volume sat on a stand, while another was occupied by a scrap of parchment and an inkwell with a quill in it. The scroll had several lines written on it, but all in a language I couldn’t understand.

“Is this part of your studies?”

“Yep! I’m researching the ancient alphabet of Old Equestria. Just imagine how surprised the Princess will be when I send my next report written in the kingdom’s early letters!”

She beamed at me with absolute shimmering-eyed excitement, a face too adorable to be witnessed by those with weak hearts.

“That would make a nice surprise,” I agreed. “So, you mind if I browse the shelves?”

“Of course not, go ahead! This is a library, after all.”

So I started at the shelves closest to the door and began working my way along them. Every book was neatly shelved and grouped according to genre or author, wherever applicable. A good majority were the kind you’d be expected to find as part of a school’s required list of textbooks: history, astronomy, chemistry, mathematics, politics, English. Then I came to ones that were more concerned with the history and knowhow of Equestria: the history of the kingdom itself, tales of the wars against Nightmare Moon and Discord (whoever those were), the flora and fauna of the Everfree Forest, and even a book of speculation on the existence of creatures called ‘sea-ponies’.

Then I came to the fictional literature, novels and such. Some had groaningly corny, pun-tastic names, like The Adventures of Hucklepony Finn, Frankenstallion, Lord of the Reins, just to name a few. Some had normal titles, however, and just had equine substitutions to the characters I would have been familiar with: Around the World in 80 Days, Treasure Island, Great Expectations, etc. There was also a collection of many books about the adventures of Daring Do, apparently a pegasus version of Indiana Jones, from the look of the covers.

I looked over at Twilight. She was still scribbling away at her paper, occasionally glancing at the book for reference. I figured it might be better to leave her to her work, so I headed upstairs to find Spike.

“Spike? Hey, Spike?”

“Whuh? Oh! Hi, Dave!”

I found the little dragon seated on the floor, a claw-full of bird seed in his palm. A very small bird chick was pecking at it hungrily. Its feathers were orange, with a tiny red plume on its head, and its eyes were yellow and beady. It looked up as I entered, tilting its head quizzically.

“Is this your pet?” I asked.

“Yep!" said Spike. "This is Peewee, my pet phoenix.”

I had been walking over to take a closer look, but stumbled back at Spike’s reply.

“A phoenix??”

Spike seemed confused by my reaction.

“Sure. Why, is something wrong?”

“No, no. It's just, phoenixes aren’t native creatures in my world, so I never expected to see a live one. Then again, Pinkie said there are manticores and cockatrices in the Everfree Forest, so I really shouldn’t be surprised. How did you find him?”

“That’s kind of a long story,” said Spike. “Let's just say I found him as an egg and saved him from being scrambled. He's been with us ever since."

Peewee fluttered his tiny wings and cheeped happily. He certainly was an energetic little fella.

“Dave?”

All three of us jumped. Twilight had come up so softly that I hadn’t heard her.

“Is everything ok?” she asked.

“Yeah, of course. I just came up to see Spike, and got to meet his pet phoenix.”

"Ah, yes," said Twilight, grinning. "It's been a lot more active around here with him in the house. Owlowiscious has taken on double-duty as junior assistant and Peewee's babysitter when Spike's busy."

"But I am training him to help out, too!" said Spike. "We'll have the most efficient library in Equestria once he's old enough!"

Peewee twittered cheerfully, and Twilight giggled.

"Well, I've got some time to kill before my appointment with Rarity," I said, "so I thought maybe we could just sit down and chat, if that's all right."

“Of course!" said Twilight. "I actually just finished recording that ancient Equestrian alphabet, which is why I came up to look for you.”

“Great! Lead on, then.”

With that, Twilight took me downstairs, leaving Spike and Peewee to themselves. With her magic, she drew up a plush-cushioned sofa, perfect for reclining on when reading deeply. I sat myself on one end, and she settled herself, pony-fashion, on the other.

"You've really got it lucky, Twi," I said, before catching myself. "Er, you don't mind me calling you that, do you?"

"Not at all!" said Twilight. "My friends do sometimes."

"All right. You've got it lucky, Twi: living in a library, surrounded by books. I'll bet you've read each one at least once."

"Oh, at least," said Twilight, unashamedly. "You wouldn't believe how many dog-ears I've accumulated. I've actually been trying to master a spell to fix that."

"Oh?"

"A bookmarking spell," Twilight explained. "When cast on a single book, if I have to set it down, it'll automatically reopen to where I left off when I pick it up again."

"Wow!" I said, impressed. "That's incredible!"

"But," Twilight warned, "you can only do it on one book at a time. Use it on more than one, and they'd all open to the same page, regardless."

"Ohh, I see," I mused. "Still, that sounds amazing, not to mention useful. I go through a lot of books, believe me, and it'd be nice not to have to find so many things to use for bookmarks."

"Tell me about it," said Twilight. "So, anything on the shelves catch your eye while you were browsing?"

“You mean besides the fact that a lot of those books have similar titles and storylines to those back in my world?” I asked.

“Do they?" asked Twilight, fascinated. "Amazing! Was there any you wanted to read in particular?"

“Well, I did always like Around the World in 80 Days. I wouldn’t mind seeing it, er, pony-fied.”

Twilight grinned and, her horn glowing with a pinkish-purple light, summoned that very book from the shelves. The cover had the title printed in stately, ornate letters. On it was illustrated a globe and two ponies. One was a stallion with an impassive, almost bored, white-bearded face, wearing a top hat and suit. The second was a younger stallion with a flustered face, dressed like a butler, with a gold watch in his hoof. I no doubt guessed that these were the equivalents of Phileas Fogg and Passepartout. The book was placed in my hands, and I opened it up.

“Um, Twi?" I asked, tentatively.

"Mm?"

"This isn’t something I normally ask, but, would you mind if I read out loud? It's kind of a habit of mine, when I'm alone. Maybe we could read together.”

Twilight looked at me for a moment, then smiled.

“That sounds like a fun idea, Dave. Nopony’s ever asked that before. Then again, not a lot of ponies show such a passion for reading,” she added, as an almost bitter afterthought. “I mean, I only recently got Rainbow Dash to want to read.”

“She reads?” I asked, a little perplexed.

“Shocking, isn’t it? But yes, she's very much into the Daring Do series.”

“Huh. I might have to look into that.”

“You’d love it! If it can make a reader out of a pony like Rainbow Dash, I know you’d enjoy it.”

As I got myself comfortable in my position, Twilight inched over until she was right beside me. It was kind of amusing, almost like a large dog settling down next to you to get warm. I turned to the first page.

“Chapter 1: In Which Phileas Fogg and Passepartout Agree Their Relationship, That of Master and Servant…”

I wasn't really keeping track of time, but it didn’t matter. I was having a heck of a time with Twilight, and I never had this much fun reading aloud before. We took turns narrating, while I did most of the dialogue. She was in stitches with some of the voices I chose for the characters, like a British monotone for Phileas Fogg, an excitable French voice for Passepartout, and a somewhat jowly Cockney voice for Inspector Fix, similar to ones I had heard from an old audio book version of the story. The story itself played out very similarly to the humanized version, only with minor appropriate changes to accommodate the equine atmosphere. Since I was terrible at female voices, I let her read out the parts spoken by Mrs. Aouda, which she did surprisingly well.

We were about midway through when Spike came down to check on us, and he found me in the middle of reading the chapter in which Fix revealed his plan to detain Phileas Fogg, suspected of robbing the Bank of England, and Passepartout was refusing his involvement. As the Frenchman was drunk during this scene, I was slurring myself all over the place, to Twilight’s amusement.

“‘Mister Fix’, he stammered, ‘even if everything you have said is true, even if my master is the thief you are after, which I don’t believe for a moment, I have worked for him! I still work for him! I know how kind and generous he is! Betray him? Never! No, not for all the money in the world! Where I come from, that’s just not the sort of thing people go in for!’”

I paused to take a breath, and Twilight applauded, and so did Spike, to our surprise.

“Oh! Spike!’ said Twilight. “What brings you down here?”

“Just came to see what you guys wanted for lunch. Sounds like you were having a blast down here.”

“Heh, yeah,” I said, “though I could use a break. My throat’s never had this much of a workout in a long time.”

“You were doing very well, though!" said Twilight. "You’ve got quite a talent for voices!”

“Aw, shucks, Twi, you’re embarrassing me.”

I never did like to brag, but I did like to think I was pretty good with impressions, especially with certain accents.

“In any case, I’ll be fine with whatever you guys want,” I added.

“Great! It’ll be ready in a jiffy!” said Spike, and he walked off into the kitchen.

“While we’re waiting, Twi, there’s something else I wanted to ask about.” I said.

“Yes?”

“You know that sit-down we talked about yesterday, with me answering questions about the human world?”

“Of course!” said Twilight, keenly.

“Well, would you object to us having a guest during it?”

“Not at all! Who is it?”

“Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Lyra?" asked Twilight, puzzled. "Why would-" She then stopped herself a look of dawning comprehension on her face. "Ohh, that’s right.”

“Yeah, her thing with humans," I said. "You knew her in Canterlot, right? Was she always like that?”

“Excitable and human-fanatical? Well, yes, as far as I know. We never really hung out much. She grew up on those kinds of stories, and now wants to prove they’re real. She’s really harmless, though.”

“Yeah, her friend Bon Bon said so yesterday," I said. "They’re roommates, aren’t they?”

“Yes, they are. They’ve been super-close ever since Lyra moved to Ponyville, and they both found they have quite a bit in common. Bon Bon likes Lyra’s lyre-playing, and Lyra loves Bon Bon’s sweets.”

“Heh, yeah, Bon Bon mentioned that, too," I chuckled. "So, you don’t object to her listening in?”

“No, of course not. It’d be nice for her to finally get the answers she’s looking for.”

Twilight suddenly looked very thoughtful.

“Say...I wonder...”

“What?” I asked.

Twilight gasped happily.

“Why stop at a simple interview? After this, we could have you give a guest lecture at the schoolhouse! Miss Cheerilee would love it, I’m sure!”

“Whoa-whoa, slow down, Twi,” I began, but she didn’t slow down.

“And after that, we could even hold a seminar in Canterlot! For Princess Celestia herself! Can you imagine?”

Her eyes were twinkling with such intense enthusiasm, but I was feeling no such thing on my part.

Me?

Public speeches?

In front of a school?

In front of an entire city?

In front of a princess??

The last thing I saw was Twilight’s gleeful face before everything went black.

Ponies Tell the Best Tales

“…Gonna be all right?”

“I don’t know. He had this terrified look on his face.”

“Hey, wait! Look! He’s waking up!”

“Oh, thank goodness!”

With a groan, I opened my eyes. I was lying on the floor, and Twilight, Spike, Owlowiscious, and Peewee were all looking down at me anxiously.

“Whuh? What happened?” I muttered.

“Who.”

“Not who, what,” corrected Spike.

“Good, you’re all right,” said Twilight, gratefully.

“Twilight? Spike? What happened?”

“You passed out,” said Spike. “Just for a couple minutes, though.”

“I did? Well, lucky it was only that long, I guess.”

I got back to my feet. Twilight’s grateful expression melted into a contrite one, lowered ears and everything.

“Dave, I’m sorry. It was me suggesting all of that speech stuff that made you pass out, wasn’t it?”

“Well…”

I hated seeing the hurt look on her face, but it wouldn’t do dancing around the truth.

“I won’t lie, Twilight, it did throw me for a loop. See, I’ve never been good in front of a crowd, and being bombarded with talking before a school, not to mention the Princess, kinda spooked me."

“But you were doing so well reading.”

“That’s different," I said. "If it’s with someone I trust, like a good friend, then I’m comfortable.”

She briefly brightened at that, meaning I considered her trustworthy. I knelt down to get closer to her eye level.

“Listen, I’m not saying your idea’s a bad one," I said. "It’d be a very good way to clear up doubts that ponies may have about humans. I think it was just springing it on me out of nowhere like that that startled me.”

“Sorry,” Twilight apologized, sounding much more like Fluttershy.

“Don’t be. If anything, your enthusiasm’s admirable.”

She looked up at me, and at last she smiled again.

“Thanks, Dave. If you want, we can just forget about it.”

“Forget about it? Well, let's not go that far.”

She looked at me in surprise.

“I mean, we could make it work," I said, reasonably. "We'd have to take it one step at a time, though. This Q&A, for example. Maybe you could turn it into something to send to Princess Celestia afterwards, like an extra credit project. Of course, I'm just spit-balling, but from there, who knows? It might springboard into stuff like you said: a lecture at the schoolhouse or in front of a crowd. It'd be nice to get ponies in the know about humans.”

Twilight’s eyes began to sparkle again with enthusiasm. The irises, too, had expanded, until they were almost completely filling her eyes, so intense was her glee. I honestly couldn’t believe myself. I was really going along with this? Was it because it was of my own volition, or because I didn’t want to disappoint Twilight? It was possibly a combination of the two.

Whatever the case, by the look on Twilight’s face, she thought that was a good plan.

“Wow, Dave. I had no idea you had a head for these things.”

“I wouldn’t get used to it, Twi," I said, frankly. "This was a spur-of-the-moment thing.”

“Either way, it’s great! I think it really could work if we do it that way! And, did you really mean what you said about extra credit?”

“Well, sure," I said. "What’s a better project topic than validating something that's become murky in the details department?”

“That’s true," said Twilight. "Even Starswirl the Bearded's recorded notes on them were more speculation than anything. Oh, Dave, this could be the biggest historical impact Equestria’s ever experienced! I just…I just don’t even know what to say, but…thank you!”

With that, she threw her forelegs around me in a tight hug, nuzzling her cheek against mine. Gratified at her happiness, I returned the embrace, though awkwardly. As I said, she wasn’t as plump as Pinkie was, but there was still a warm, huggable softness to her. I could hear Spike making a gag of disgust at the display, but I didn’t care.

“I hate to break up the hug fest,” he said, in a tone that suggested otherwise, “but I got lunch ready before you passed out, Dave.”

“Oh, did you? Thanks, Spike.”

Twilight and I broke apart, her face still aglow with gratitude.

“Shall we?” she asked.

“We shall," I said.

With that, the three of us went into the kitchen, while Owlowiscious and Peewee stayed in the main library area, the baby phoenix hopping and flapping his tiny wings rapidly as the owl watched patiently, like an instructor.

Lunch was a simple affair, by pony standards: daisy sandwiches. I was skeptical, as I’d never eaten real, raw flowers before, and I couldn’t honestly think of anyone in the human world who would do that in their right mind. Still, I was in Twilight’s home, and felt it would be rude to just deny her hospitality like this, so I decided to give it a chance. She actually seemed surprised when I picked one up, about to bite into it.

“Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure you want that? I mean, I know humans can’t eat everything ponies can.”

“It's ok, Twi. I’m just going to try one, see if I like it or not. If I don’t, it’s no fault of yours.”

“If you say so,” said Twilight, uncertainly.

I took a bite into the sandwich, half-expecting to spit it right back out. I didn't, but it wasn't exactly the tastiest thing I'd ever eaten. The flowers were thin, crisp, and lettuce-like, leaving a bland taste in my mouth. It was like chewing on a wad of paper. It was an effort to swallow, but I managed. I looked up, and noticed Twilight and Spike watching me, the latter trying not to laugh. I wiped at my mouth and saw that a couple daisy petals had stuck themselves to my lip, explaining that.

“Heh, sorry,” I said, sheepishly.

“It's all right," said Twilight, pushing a separate plate of sandwiches towards me "I had a feeling flowers wouldn't be part of a human's diet. Do you like cheese?"

"You bet I do," I said, gratefully, and took one.

"You're more used to eating meat, right?” Twilight asked.

“Well, yeah," I said, taking a bite from the sandwich. "But sometimes, it’s a matter of choice. Some people prefer meat, others adopt a more vegetarian diet, and there’s some that even go vegan.”

“Vegan?”

“Yeah, They don’t eat anything that comes from an animal. No meat, no dairy products.”

“Wow. That’s so fascinating!”

She levitated her own sandwich in front of her and bit into it.

“You know what I find fascinating?" I asked. "How you do magic.”

“Oh?”

“We don't have anything like that back in my world. It’s all performance theatrics, smoke and mirrors, sleight of hand.”

“Kind of like Trixie?” asked Spike.

It seemed as if Twilight didn't like the sound of the name, as she gave the baby dragon a sharp look that quieted him instantly.

“Trixie?” I asked, puzzled.

Twilight sighed to herself, as if resigned to explaining.

“She was a unicorn stage magician that came to Ponyville," she said. "She specialized in the kind of magic you're talking about. All she really did was brag about all of her achievements that she obviously never did, and challenged us to prove we were better than her.”

“Yikes," I muttered. "Sounds like a real piece of work.”

“Well, I didn’t make things any better," said Twilight. "Two young colts lured an Ursa Minor into Ponyville-"

"A what?" I asked, puzzled.

"Giant star-bear," said Spike.

"Oh," I said, kind of wishing I hadn't asked.

"I sent it back with my magic when Trixie couldn't," said Twilight. "She disappeared after being showed up like that, and we haven’t heard from her since.” She sighed. “I really hope she’s learned her lesson since then.”

A small silence followed, which was thankfully broken by Spike, clearing his throat.

“So, Dave, you were talking about unicorn magic?”

“Huh? Oh! Right. I’d seen it before, when Rarity was fixing my hair, and I remember you talking about it yesterday. Is it something all unicorns are born with?”

“Yes,” said Twilight, a little bit cheered up from her momentary melancholy. “I think there may be a few cases where unicorns aren’t as skilled with it, but it’s very rare. Baby unicorns get unexpected, uncontrollable bursts of magic, so they take a lot of care in raising, but they learn to control it once they get older. Levitation’s an innate must-have when it comes to unicorns. Beyond that, magic is generally connected to whatever their special talent is.”

"And since your talent is magic, you can do spells a lot of other ponies can't? I remember you talking about that yesterday."

"Yes," said Twilight, modestly.

“I’d love to see some of your better spells,” I said. “You said levitation’s a must-have, but what else can you do?”

“Well, I do know teleportation, as well," said Twilight.

“Teleportation,” I said, wistfully. “Man, that’d be one of my top choices for a superpower. Just being able to get where I wanted to in the blink of an eye…”

“Trust me when I say it’s not that fun if you’re a passenger,” said Spike, grimly, earning himself another filthy look from Twilight.

“So, you said you needed to see Rarity later today?” she asked.

Spike perked up.

“Rarity? You’re seeing Rarity? Could I come with?”

The eager way he was asking, with bright hopeful eyes, was both humorous and mildly disturbing at the same time. It was almost as if he was infatuated with her, and it was a poorly disguised infatuation at that. Then again, she was an attractive pony, and it wasn’t uncommon for little boys to grow crushes on older women, as weird as that sounds. I personally don’t recall having such an affliction.

“I doubt you’d have much fun, Spike," I said. "Rarity’s going to be taking my measurements so she can make me some new clothes.”

“I don’t mind!” Spike pressed on, in a tone bordering on desperation. “I could help! I could-”

But a hoof to his mouth silenced what he would have done. Twilight looked at him intently.

“Spike, this is something Dave needs to do privately. All right?”

Spike nodded sadly, and Twilight removed her hoof.

“Don’t worry," she said. "I promise the next time I go to the Boutique, I’ll take you with me.”

The little dragon’s fallen face lifted back up again at this.

“That reminds me, Twilight,” I said, “what day do you want us to conduct the Q&A?”

“Oh! Great thinking! Let me just check my schedule.”

She closed one eye as the other gazed intently at the ceiling, her horn glowing all the while. The glow intensified, her teeth gritted slightly from concentration, and the next moment, a heavy binder floated into the kitchen through the door. I gazed at it in stupefaction.

“Did that come from upstairs?”

“Yep!" she said, proudly.

“That’s incredible! How did you call it like that? I thought you were testing that spell when it gave you that headache.”

“This is a much tamer version of that spell," Twilight explained. "If the object I’m calling is close, and I can see where it is in my mind’s eye, then I can summon it no problem. Now let me see. Today’s Wednesday…”

She flipped the book open, leafing through numerous filled pages. She muttered to herself as she read.

“Hmm…Tea with Fluttershy, helping Applejack harvest…Ah! Saturday’s free! Why not then, at, say, 2?”

“That sounds perfect!” I said.

“Great! I’ll pencil you in!”

She raised a quill with her levitation.

“I think you mean ‘quill’ me in,” I said.

Twilight looked at me, then the quill, then rolled her eyes with a smile, as Spike snickered.

Lunch passed in a pleasant fashion, our conversations continuing back at the sofa in the main room. My throat being tired from reading out loud, I let Twilight talk. She had a treasure trove's worth of stories to tell, so she bade me make sure I was comfortable before proceeding.

Twilight told me about some of the adventures she and her friends had gotten into ever since she moved to Ponyville, such as being chased by a hydra in a swamp, confusing the effects of a plant called poison joke with a curse (Spike snorted with laughter at that particular remembrance), confronting a mass invasion of parasprites, the name of which I recognized from talking with Pinkie, and rescuing Rarity from gem-hoarding troll-creatures called Diamond Dogs, among other things. From the sound of it, they’d done everything that humans would have thought only ever possible in storybooks, and even then, the storybooks I’d seen never had pranking plants, adorable locusts, or trollish canines.

What really struck me dumb, however, was to hear her mention that she and her friends were bearers of what were known as the Elements of Harmony, effectively making them Chosen Ones, as it were. Visualizing Pinkie as a savior of the country was not only a weird thought, but a pretty funny one as well. These Elements, it seemed, were artifacts embodying the strongest qualities of friendship: Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, and Loyalty. The sixth, Magic, was born from a spark generated by the other five.

It so happened that Twilight and her friends were chosen by fate to wield them, just as Celestia and her younger sister, Princess Luna, had before, and had proved instrumental in defeating Nightmare Moon, whom Twilight told me had actually been Luna, corrupted by jealousy and hatred, and Discord, the spirit of chaos and disharmony. Twilight had inherited Magic, Applejack Honesty, Fluttershy Kindness, Pinkie Laughter, Rarity Generosity, and Rainbow Dash Loyalty.

Well, since I bring this up, I might as well go into the adventures involving them, the retelling of which blew my mind on so many levels.

Twilight told me how she had moved to Ponyville from Canterlot on the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration, a day dedicated to Celestia’s raising the sun every day for centuries. She had intended to warn her mentor about the impending return of Nightmare Moon, but that seemed to have been ignored in favor of her overseeing preparations, much to her annoyance. In this way, she was introduced to Applejack, who was handling catering, Rainbow Dash, who was in charge of weather, Rarity, who was taking care of decorations, Fluttershy, who was providing the music, and Pinkie, who was…being Pinkie.

It turned out her premonitions were correct: Nightmare Moon returned and Celestia vanished, with Equestria doomed to suffer eternal night. Twilight and her five companions had ventured forth to retrieve the Elements, braving several obstacles that, if anything, only further cemented their bonds. They engaged Nightmare Moon in battle, with the Elements activating from a spark of sorts, one Twilight felt when she realized the five were her friends. With them, they returned Nightmare Moon to her old self, she and Celestia were reunited, and Twilight was given the task of living in Ponyville to study the magic and power of friendship.

The story of Discord was a lot more chilling, and it was clear it pained her to even talk about it. I told her she didn’t have to, but she said I deserved to know. Discord had reigned over an Equestria twisted by chaos and disorder, until Celestia and Luna sealed him in stone with the Elements. He had remained a statue in the Canterlot castle gardens until he unexpectedly broke loose, bringing about another storm of chaos: cotton candy clouds that rained chocolate milk, ballet-dancing buffalo, stilt-legged rabbits, and corn that turned to real popcorn only being a few of the changes. Celestia summoned the six mares to her castle, only to find that Discord had swiped the Elements and led them to believe they were hidden in the castle labyrinth.

Upon entering, they were separated, and all but Twilight were systematically brainwashed by the manipulative trickster into becoming their total opposites: Applejack a compulsive liar, Pinkie a sour grump (something I found incredibly hard to believe and not very pleasant to visualize), Rarity a greedy hoarder, Fluttershy a mean-spirited bully, and Rainbow Dash a disloyal deserter. Though they did find the Elements, they were powerless due to being ‘Discorded’, as it were, and they broke up, Twilight’s hopes and heart shattering.

Before she could leave Ponyville, however, Celestia sent back every friendship report she had ever received, reminding Twilight not to lose hope in her friendship and fight for what she’d lost. Her spirit renewed, and realizing that this is what Discord had meant to do all along, she rounded up and restored her friends and sealed Discord away again while he was stewing in his own hubris. I couldn’t help letting out a triumphant “YES!” at the end, which drew an odd look from Twilight, but one that gave way to amusement. It was unbelievable to hear the lengths she had gone to save Equestria and her friends, who meant the world to her, after having been friendless and antisocial for so long.

“Boy, Twilight,” I said, when she’d concluded, “it sounds like you’ve been to the ends of the Earth and back in such a short time.”

“I know," said Twilight. "Feels like an eternity, but a really wonderful eternity,” she added, warmly.

“You really are a remarkable pony, Twilight Sparkle," I said, sincerely. "I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t be lucky to have you as a friend.”

“Aw, Dave,” said Twilight.

She leaned up and nuzzled my cheek. Thankfully, Spike had gone back upstairs with Peewee, so he wasn’t around to be disgusted at this sentimental moment. I looked up at the clock, and felt a jolt in my stomach when I saw how much time had flown. The hours seemed to have slipped easily away, and it was getting on 2. I hated to break this up, but I was on a schedule.

“This has been really pleasant, Twi,” I said, “but I really shouldn’t keep Rarity waiting. I’ll definitely see you Saturday, though.”

“All right," said Twilight. "I’m so glad we could have some time together, especially after yesterday."

Both of us got up and headed for the door.

“You’re welcome here anytime. Our door, and our bookshelves, are always open.”

“I’ll gladly keep that in mind,” I said. “See ya, Spike!” I called up the stairs.

There was a scrabbling of claws, and the little dragon appeared at the top of the stairs.

“Bye, Dave! See you next time!” he called back, waving.

I ducked under the door, and Twilight stopped there. As I walked on, I turned to see her still standing in the doorway. When I caught her eye, she smiled and waved a foreleg, a gesture I returned in like kind.

There was no point in denying it: these colorful equines had definitely grown on me. They were so engaging, so friendly, so full of intrigue and mystery. They spoke of fantastical events and creatures as if they were discussing the weather. It was weird, but at the same time, enjoyable. I could stand waiting a bit for a solution to go home, as long as I was in the midst of such pleasant company. For now, though, I directed my steps towards the Carousel Boutique, quickening my pace, as it would never do to keep a lady waiting.

Rarity Works Her Magic

By the time I reached Carousel Boutique, it was five past 2, and there was a sign on the door, written in fancy cursive:

‘Out. Will Return Shortly. -Rarity’,

I felt a bit awkward at having arrived when she would be out, especially when we'd agreed on the time already, but maybe she had something come up unexpectedly. I'd just have to wait it out. I took a seat on the doorstep and looked about at the ponies passing by. One or two were ones that had attended the party, so they said hello in passing.

It had never occurred to me before, but now it struck me as something odd that most of the ponies in Ponyville seemed to be female. In fact, the only males I knew about or had met were Big Macintosh, Mr. Cake, Spike, and Twilight’s brother, Shining Armor, plus some I had glimpsed at the party and during the morning rush. It made me wonder just how many pony couples there were, with such an uneven gender distribution, unless I just hadn’t been observant enough.

I was about to lose myself in over-thinking it when I heard a familiar voice call out my name.

“Dave! Oh my stars, I’m so sorry! I'd forgotten to warn you!”

I looked up the street, and saw Rarity hurrying up, with none other than Fluttershy coming up beside her. There was something different about the two of them, however. There was an indescribable aura about them, a kind of soft glow to their coats. Even their manes had an added sheen to them, which only complimented Fluttershy’s naturally cute face. Her wings, too, seemed softer and fluffier than before, like a swan’s wings.

“Hi, Rarity. Hello, Fluttershy.”

“Hello, Dave,” said the gentle pegasus.

“It’s good to see you up and about. I was worried you’d be dead-tired today after last night.”

“Oh, I was still a little drowsy when I woke up,” she admitted, “but a trip to the spa always fixes everything.”

“Oh! So that’s it.”

“What is?” asked Rarity.

“I thought there was something different about the two of you," I said.

The two mares giggled.

“How sweet of you to notice,” said Rarity. “Fluttershy and I are spa buddies. It’s our weekly escape from the worries of a work-a-day life.”

“That sounds interesting," I said. "Truth be told, I’ve never been to a spa before.”

Rarity looked at me in astonishment.

“What? Never? Oh, my-my-my, I can only imagine the knots and aches you must have!”

She struck a dramatic pose as she said this, one foreleg across her forehead, in a kind of ‘woe is me’ way, but she broke out of it immediately with a determined look in her sapphire eyes.

“But fear not, darling. One of these days, I shall bring you with me!”

“Oh, Rarity, that’s not necessary-”

But she swiftly held up a hoof to shut me up.

“No, no, I insist. It wouldn’t be right to visit Ponyville and not experience the wonders of its local spa. The steam room, the hot tub, the mud baths,” she added with a dreamy zeal.

Fluttershy just smiled at her fashionista friend’s antics, then turned to me.

“You really should, Dave. It does wonders for someone who’s had a hard week. Sometimes, if we’ve had an especially stressful day, we schedule our spa visits for an earlier day.”

“I suppose it couldn’t hurt,” I said.

Lord knows how much good it would do me. I was the sort of person who sweated over everything that might turn out an unpleasant consequence, and it wasn’t doing me any good, particularly because it led to a lot of stress stomachaches. A trip to the spa might just be the ticket.

“Well, I should be heading home now,” said Fluttershy. “Rarity said you two are going to be busy, and I'd hate to intrude. Bye!”

“Bye, Fluttershy.”

“See you later, dear!”

With a flap of her wings, Fluttershy took off, flying just level with the rooftops, as if she was reluctant to go any higher. With the two of us by ourselves, Rarity turned her full attention on me.

“Dave, I do apologize. I'd forgotten today was spa day, and I hadn't had time to warn you when I remembered.”

“It’s all right, Rarity. I wasn’t waiting long. I’d actually spent the morning shopping with Pinkie, then I spent a few hours at the library with Twilight.”

“Oh! That sounds like an interesting morning.”

“It was, believe me. Funny thing, though. Spike was rather insistent on coming with, even if it wouldn't have been very fun for him.”

Rarity gave a small sigh, with a kind of wearied amusement on her face.

“Yes, I’d imagine he would, the poor little scamp. I’m afraid he’s rather fixated with me.”

“You mean, you know?” I asked.

“Darling, you said yourself he was insistent. Not to sound rude, but he hides his feelings just about as well as Pinkie Pie hides an impending party with a straight face.”

“Well, she fooled me when she threw mine,” I said, reasonably.

“Oh, but listen to me,” said Rarity, putting a hoof to her forehead, “going on while we’re standing out here. Shall we go inside?”

“After you, milady,” I said, bowing.

She smiled and, using her magic, unlocked the front door.

The first thing that greeted us was a grumpy ‘meow’. I looked down and saw a white Persian cat, a lock of her fur on top decorated with a bow. She had a bored look on her face.

“Hello, Opal!” cooed Rarity. “Mama’s home!”

She reached down and ruffled the cat’s fur, but she still looked displeased.

“Dave, this is my little Opalescence, Opal for short.”

“Well, hey, kitty,” I said, leaning down and reaching out my hand to pet her.

She gave a low growl, and I retracted my hand swiftly. Rarity gave the cat a look of disapproval, but Opal just turned and sauntered away.

“I do apologize, Dave, but she’s rather difficult to manage. I swear, she seems to only like Fluttershy.”

“That’s a shame,” I said. "Then again, considering all the animal friends she has, that's not surprising."

“Don’t worry, though. She’s fine if you just give her space. Now, follow me, if you please.”

Rarity led me over to what looked like a separate dressing room, the walls covered in full-length mirrors, with a podium in the middle. Instinctively, I stepped onto the podium.

“I take it humans are more prudish about modesty?” Rarity inquired.

“Yes,” I said, feeling my cheeks go red. “It’s fine for you ponies, but where I come from, nudity's not something to be thought of in a social setting.”

“Not to worry. We at Carousel Boutique strive to uphold complete customer satisfaction.”

Her horn lit up once again, and a long measuring tape appeared from a nearby drawer. She also levitated a pair of red-framed cat’s-eye glasses, fitting them onto her snout. I never thought of her as the glasses type, but I thought it was a very nice touch.

“Now, if you would, Dave, stand straight and still unless I ask otherwise.”

“You got it.”

I stood as straight and stiff as I could, arms at my side, and she ran her measuring tape up and down my sides, around my waist, my neck, my forehead, etc. From time to time, she’d ask me to hold out one arm, or extend one leg. All the while, she jotted the results down on a notepad. Honestly, with the levitating measuring tape and it measuring places I wouldn’t have imagined necessary for a fitting, it reminded me strongly of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, when Harry was being fitted for his wand at Ollivander’s. All the while, Rarity chatted casually, as if the entire process was second-nature to her, just like during my haircut.

“As casual as this ensemble is, I must admit there’s a certain charm to it. It tells me you’re laid-back, not one who pursues reckless action.”

“Amen to that,” I said, chuckling. “I’ve never been one for the outdoors. It kinda shows on me, doesn’t it?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Well, I’m not in the best of shape, compared to other humans,” I said, putting one hand to my stomach.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” said Rarity, kindly. “You look fine.”

“I’m not calling myself fat, just out of shape.”

“And I say you’re being too harsh on yourself. Don’t dwell on it, dear. I know the feeling myself, unfortunately.”

“You?" I asked, incredulously. "Problems with your own weight? Never!”

“We all have our off days, I’m afraid," said Rarity, wistfully. "As much as I try to resist, the sweets at Sugarcube Corner are nearly impossible to pass up. On those days, I feel so, ugh, balloonish afterwards, so it’s straight to the treadmill. I envy Applejack sometimes; she has one of the biggest appetites of any pony I know, yet she works off what she eats in the fields kicking trees.”

“And the stuff her family makes is some of the best apple stuff I’ve ever tasted,” I said.

“Oh, I know! They don’t only bake with apples, mind you, but when they do, it’s their best baking.”

“Guess it comes from living on an apple farm.”

“Quite. But now, back on the subject of your garments, do all humans dress like this?”

“Well, that depends. Some like to dress more professionally, some casually. It all depends on the time of day or the occasion.”

“Ah, of course. There's something we have in common, then. Ponies may not need to wear clothes all the time, but if the occasion calls for it, I see no reason not to wear your best."

She finished jotting down what she had at the moment, then gave a slight chuckle.

"You know, it’s rather funny, but this is reminding me very much of when Fluttershy had her brief modeling career.”

“Fluttershy had a modeling career?” I asked, surprised.

That meek pegasus, who shrieked at the first sight of me, had been on a stage in front of thousands? That just sounded impossible. Then again, I’d only just met her. Maybe there was more to her that I hadn’t seen yet.

Seeing the questioning look on Rarity’s face, I added,

“Er, not that I think she wouldn’t make for a good model. She is kind of pretty.”

(For a pony, anyway.)

“Yes, and that’s exactly why she was chosen to be a star rather than me,” said Rarity, with a hint of resignation to her voice. “Of course, she never wanted it, but I didn’t know it at the time, and…”

Rarity paused, looking like something was paining her. Her measuring tape wavered where it was.

“And?” I asked.

“I...was jealous,” Rarity admitted, sorrowfully.

“Oh…”

“Oh, I hated myself for it,” Rarity went on. “How could I have ever held anything against Fluttershy? She’s so sweet, so innocent, and I treated her as if she was rubbing her success in my face. I was a horrible friend…”

She hung her head, letting the tape fall where it was. It hurt me to see such a beautiful face look so sad. Moreover, I hated seeing any face sad. I stepped down and knelt beside her. She wasn’t crying, but there was a wavering light in her eyes.

“Rarity, I don’t think you’re a bad friend,” I said. “If you were, you wouldn’t have even recognized that you didn’t like how you were feeling at the time. I haven’t known you or your friends for very long yet, but I can already tell, from our meeting yesterday, that you’re a kind, big-hearted mare with a lot to give.”

It was strange how these encouraging words just seemed to flow of their own accord from me. I never used to speak like this. How was it so easy? Was there something in their air affecting my mentality?

Rarity looked at me, and a small, sweet smile reappeared on her muzzle.

“Thank you, Dave,” she said, gratefully. “I’ve more or less let the matter pass, but the memory does resurface sometimes. I’m lucky to have such wonderful friends by my side, and I can safely say I now consider you one of them.”

“Really?” I asked. “Just from cutting my hair?”

“It’s in your eyes, darling,” said Rarity. “The most expressive part of any individual is their eyes. From what I’ve gathered, you’re a kind, thoughtful young man, and quite the gentleman."

She leaned in and nuzzled my cheek, and I felt my face grow hot. It was just a display of affectionate gratitude, but I still felt embarrassed.

"You even know to comfort a lady in a time of distress,” she said.

“Ah, well,” I muttered, modestly.

“Now, come along, dear. Let’s get back to business.”

“Er, yeah,” I said.

Stiffly, I got up and returned to the podium, while Rarity levitated her measuring tape and began her measurements anew.

“Well, Dave, I’ve gotten your measurements down," Rarity said, at last, "and I believe this might be more doable than I’d imagined.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” I said, stepping down.

“Tell me, what are your clothes made of?”

“Well, let me see," I said, thinking. "T-Shirts are usually cotton and polyester. Jeans are denim, and my socks and underpants are cotton as well.”

“Ah, of course. Easy and comfortable.”

In spite of myself, I felt a bit baffled how she didn’t redden at the thought of human undergarments. When I put it to her, she said, in an amused tone,

“Oh, darling, please. I'm a fashionista. You'll be hard-pressed to find an article of clothing I haven't manufactured, and that includes undergarments. You have nothing to feel embarrassed about.”

“Well, if you’re sure.”

“Of course. Why stop at T-shirts and jeans, anyway?" she asked, an enthusiastic light in her eyes. "I could make you an entire seasonal ensemble: shorts, sweaters, jackets, polo shirts, the possibilities are endless!”

“Whoa-whoa, take it easy, Rarity,” I said, not wanting a repeat of what happened at Twilight’s. “That’s all well and good, but how am I going to-”

“Dave.”

Rarity said this so firmly, with such a stern, no-nonsense look on her face, that I clammed up immediately.

“I know exactly what you’re about to ask, but please put it out of your mind. I'm doing this for you, dear. I want to help make you as comfortable in Equestria as you can be. It's an ambitious project, yes, but one I'm quite eager to undertake. Plus, given that your casual attire is very close to what ponies wear on occasion, it's far from the hardest thing I've ever done. And besides that, I refuse to put you in an awkward monetary situation, when you've only been in Ponyville for one day.”

At first, I was too stunned to speak. I didn’t know what to say. She had gently, yet obstinately, put her hoof down on the matter and denied any chance of argument. Twilight’s stories floated back into my mind. Particularly, she had mentioned how, in the quest to find the Elements, they had come across a flamboyant sea serpent bewailing the ruination of his moustache. Rarity, in the name of fabulosity, selflessly sacrificed her own beautiful tail to repair the serpent’s facial hair.

“Rarity," I said, finally, "Twilight told me you represent the Element of Generosity, and it’s easy to see why. Thank you. I still wish there was a way to repay you.”

“Simply knowing that I’ve done you a proper service in easing your stay is all the thanks I need, darling,” said Rarity, in a motherly tone. “That reminds me. I know this might seem a bit…awkward, but would you mind terribly if I washed your clothes for you? I imagine they’re rather worn after spending a day and a half in the same set.”

I felt my face go hot at the thought of being nude, with nothing else to put on. Rarity already seemed to guess my feelings, however, as her horn flared up once again. A large bathrobe, colored a velvet purple with white trimming, floated over to me.

“You can put this on while we wait for your clothes to finish.”

“Great!” I said, relieved. “It’ll still feel awkward with no underpants, but it’s better than nothing at all. Thanks, Rarity.”

“You’re welcome, dear. Just drop your clothes outside the laundry room when you’ve finished changing.”

As she said this, she led me outside and indicated a hallway at the back of the boutique, which branched off into a kitchen, a laundry room, a bathroom, and a staircase. Nodding in comprehension, I took the robe with me into the bathroom to change, a mixed feeling of awkwardness and gratitude boiling in my head.

If the thought of being undressed was disquieting, getting undressed in the bathroom was another matter. Opal, Rarity’s grumpy cat, was reclining on the bathroom rug, and looked distrustfully at me as I came in. I wasn’t about to let her stare at me while I stripped down.

“Do you mind?" I asked, dryly.

Opal turned her head snootily, so thankfully, she didn’t watch me get unchanged and put on the bathrobe. Luckily, it came nearly to my ankles, and when belted, offered little chance of flaring out, so I was covered and protected. I deposited my clothing as Rarity directed, and she came trotting out to collect them.

“I do hope that robe is suitable, dear,” she said as she levitated my garments. "It was a spare I had sitting around. Freshly-cleaned, of course."

“It does suit me," I said, "and it's very comfortable.”

“Good to hear. Now, this shouldn’t take more than a simple cycle, so I’ll be right back. I’ve closed the boutique temporarily, so you can enjoy a bit of privacy.”

“Great, thanks.”

I sat down in a waiting chair as Rarity went into the laundry room to start the washing machine. Not only was Rarity generous, she was considerate as well. She, like Pinkie and Twilight, was a friend worth having.

As I sat and waited, looking about at some of the clothing designs, Opal came padding out, shooting me another stink-eyed look, apparently liking me less in the bathrobe.

“If you don’t like it, don’t look," I said, pointedly. "It’s as simple as that,”

The cat turned up her nose and walked off into another room. How the heck did Rarity put up with such an uptight animal?

Suddenly, from the laundry room, I could hear Rarity humming to herself. I felt as if I knew the song, and was only confirmed as she began to sing, in a wistful, soul-filled dulcet voice.

“Dreams to dream

In the dark of the night

When the world goes wrong

I can still make it right

I can see

So far in my dreams

I'll follow my dreams

Until they come true...”

I did know that song! It was in one of my favorite movies when I was a kid, and it still brought me good nostalgic feelings to hear it today. Now, normally, I wasn’t the type to want to sing out loud or in public, if there was the possibility of me being heard, but at the same time, I’d often get so caught up in a song I was listening to that I had an urge to sing with it.

That urge was overpowering me at that very moment, and I decided to give Rarity a little surprise by turning her solo into a duet. Not caring how my voice might conflict with hers, I provided the next verse.

“Come with me

You will see what I mean

There's a world inside

No one else ever sees

You will go

So far in my dreams

Somewhere in my dreams

Your dreams will come true...”

Rarity poked her head out from the laundry room, obviously startled by my knowledge of the particular song. I’d gotten to my feet, as if I were singing on stage. I had no idea why I did, but I guess it made me feel more at ease when I sang, instead of just sitting like a lump while doing it. I could see Rarity’s face change from surprise to admiration. She moved into the next verse, and I moved in to accompany until we were singing together.

“There is a star"

"Waiting to guide us”

“Shining inside us

When we close our eyes”

At the end of the last line, we both vocally ‘belted’, as it were, prolonging the note longer than I’d thought my lungs capable. At the same time, overcome by the mood of the music, Rarity rose to her hind legs, and I took her fore hooves in my hands, leading her as if we were performing a ballroom dance, the two of us in harmony.

“Don't let go

If you stay close to me

In my dreams tonight

You will see what I see

Dreams to dream

As near as can be

Inside you and me

They always come true...”

I’ll admit, I don’t know why I pulled that off. I would normally never do so something so silly, so sporadic, so…spontaneous back at home. Maybe that was it. Maybe the fact that I was in this new world, where what would be weird back home wasn’t here, gave me the confidence, the drive to be so goofy and lighthearted.

I’d dipped Rarity back at the end of the song, and she was gazing up at me in amusement.

“You know that song?” she asked.

“It was part of my childhood. How do you know it?”

“I’d heard it when I was a filly, and I sometimes sing it to Sweetie Belle when she has trouble sleeping. I had no idea you had such a voice.”

“I don’t like to brag about it. I’m not the type who leads people into songs.”

“You’d be surprised how often that happens around here, actually,” said Rarity, in a frank tone.

Both of us started laughing, but stopped dead when a young, high-pitched voice spoke up from nowhere, in a confused ‘what the heck is this’ tone.

“Rarity? What are you doing?”

Meet the Crusaders

Three fillies were standing in the boutique doorway, obviously ignorant of the ’Closed’ sign on it, and obviously much confused by what must have looked like Hugh Heffner tango dancing with a unicorn.

One I recognized as Apple Bloom, the others being a unicorn and pegasus, which must have meant they were the friends she had mentioned. One was undoubtedly Sweetie Belle, Rarity’s little sister, easily recognizable due to the picture I’d seen yesterday. I hadn’t seen the color of her eyes in the picture, since they were closed in her energetic smile, but now I saw they were a light green. The pegasus I’d never seen before. She had an orange coat, a very messy purple mane and tail, and eyes the same color.

“Oh! Sweetie Belle!" said Rarity, her cheeks going pink. "Home so soon?”

“It’s 3, Rarity. That’s when I usually get home,” said Sweetie Belle, flatly.

Rarity chuckled awkwardly.

“Yes, of course it is. Seems we lost track of time.”

I straightened up so Rarity could get back on all four hooves. Apple Bloom, however, finally seemed to recognize me, despite my new attire.

“That you, Mr. Dave?”

“Hey, Apple Bloom.”

Sweetie Belle and the pegasus looked at their Earth pony pal.

“You mean he’s the one you were talking about?” asked the pegasus, in a rough, boyish voice not quite unlike Rainbow Dash’s.

“Yep!” said Apple Bloom

“He’s even taller than I thought,” said Sweetie Belle.

“He’s a giant!” said the pegasus, amazed.

I suppose I must’ve been a giant compared to these kids.

“Oh, where are my manners?” said Rarity. “Dave, you seem to have met Apple Bloom, so this is my little sister Sweetie Belle.”

“Hi!” chirped the younger unicorn.

“She’s staying with me while our parents are out of town,” she explained to me. “And this is her other friend, Scootaloo.”

“Hey there!” said the pegasus.

She gave her wings an energetic buzz. Oddly, they didn’t give her any lift, which made me wonder if she was incapable of flying.

“Pleased to meet you," I said. "If you were wondering what was going on, Rarity and I were kinda, er, losing ourselves in a song.”

I scratched the back of my head, sheepishly.

“Oh, is that all?” asked Apple Bloom, comprehending.

(I should hope that was all!)

“You two looked really goofy dancing around like that!” said Scootaloo.

The three fillies giggled. Rarity’s cheeks flushed again.

“Oh! You saw it all, did you?” she asked, with an embarrassed smile.

Apparently, nopony was aware she sang or danced while she worked. Honestly, I couldn’t see what the big deal was. Wasn't that what the phrase 'whistle while you work' was for?

“I didn’t know you could dance, Rarity!” said Sweetie Belle, admiringly. “Can you teach me someday?”

Rarity’s eyes lit up with delight at such a request.

“Oh, Sweetie Belle, of course I can! There’s really nothing to it at all! I’m afraid I’m a bit tied up right now, though. You see, poor Dave was thrust into Equestria with only one suit of clothes to call his own.”

“Why couldn’t he just go naked like everypony else?” asked Scootaloo, bluntly.

Now Pinkie asking that was bad enough, but to hear a little kid ask that…!

“It…doesn’t quite work that way,” I said, trying to keep my composure. “Let’s just say humans are more comfortable clothed, and leave it at that.”

“But why?” asked Apple Bloom.

All three of them were looking up at me inquisitively. I smacked my forehead in frustration. How was I supposed to explain something so delicate to these fillies? I looked to Rarity for assistance, but she looked as helpless as I did. Then, an idea hit me.

“Apple Bloom, does your sister always wear her hat?” I asked.

“Well, yeah.”

“And do you always wear that bow?”

“‘Course.”

“Do you ever feel…strange when you’re not wearing it?”

Apple Bloom seemed to consider this for a moment.

“…Actually, Ah do. When Ah’m not wearin’ it, it feels like Ah should be. It’s like, Ah know it ain’t there, but it ought to be.”

“You could say that bow’s a part of you, then, right?”

“Ah suppose so.”

“Has Applejack ever had a similar experience?”

“…Yeah!” she said, realization dawning on her. “She told me she felt awkward at the royal weddin’, not bein’ able to wear her hat with her bridesmaid’s dress, so she snuck it on when no one was lookin’.”

Rarity gave a small huff of indignation at this.

“Suppose it was inevitable,” I heard her mutter.

“Well, see, kids, it’s kind of the same way,” I told the fillies. “Humans feel, well, incomplete unless they’re clothed. I can’t really put it into clearer words than that. It’s just always been a part of our nature.”

“Ohh,” said the three, in comprehending unison.

“Well, girls,” Rarity said\, “as I was saying, I’m going to be making Dave some new clothing on the side, and I’m washing his current attire at the moment, so why don’t you three run off and play?”

“Ok!” they said, once again in unison, and zipped off to another part of the boutique.

“But be sure you do your homework first!” Rarity called after them.

Whether or not they heard, I couldn’t tell. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Man, that was close,” I said.

“You’re telling me,” said Rarity. “Honestly, I almost had a heart attack when they barged in. And then Scootaloo…Tsk! I swear, Pinkie must be getting to them.”

I couldn’t help chuckling.

“Ah well. They’re just kids. Besides, you really are light on your hooves.”

Rarity’s huffiness was a lost cause. She gradually smiled.

“Thank you, dear. You’re not too bad yourself.” she said, giving me a teasing nudge with her elbow.

“I wouldn’t get used to it. I’m terrible when I actually think I’m dancing.”

Rarity giggled, and at the same time, a loud ‘ding’ came from the laundry room.

“Oh! There’s the washer. Your clothes should be nice and dry soon.”

“Great, thanks!”

Rarity trotted off to take care of the laundry load, and I sat myself back down, but not before re-closing the door that the girls had so carelessly left open, praying that nopony else had seen what had happened. I’d had enough awkward surprises for one day.

As I sat and waited, I could hear the girls upstairs, chatting loudly, unpacking their schoolbags. It seemed they had heard Rarity’s insistence on completing their homework after all. As time went on, though, their chatter died down, as they seemed to be getting to work.

It didn’t last long, however, as there came a dull, incessant tapping, which persisted for some time. There was a ‘thump’, and an ‘Ow!’. Then their voices started up again, arguing by the sound of it. I felt like I should go upstairs to break it up, but it wouldn’t feel appropriate going up in a bathrobe.

After what felt like an eternity of listening to the fillies’ squabbling, there was another ‘ding’, and Rarity came out, carrying my clothes neatly folded in her magic.

“Here you are, Dave, good as new!”

I gratefully stood up and accepted them.

“Thanks, Rarity! You’re a marvel!”

“Oh, it was nothing, darling. I should have your first set ready by tomorrow, so you can interchange between wearing both until the next are ready. I do hope you’ll understand, as I’ve got a few other clients waiting for requests as well.”

“That works perfectly, actually. I still can’t thank you enough for this.”

“Oh, pish-posh,” she said, modestly, with a dismissive wave of her hoof, “it’s my pleasure. Now, I’m going to be rather busy, so I’ll bid you adieu right here. Although, if you do wish to lend me a hoof, do you think you could try and calm the girls down?”

She lifted her gaze to the ceiling.

“It’s hard to concentrate when they’re being…rambunctious.”

“I can give it a shot, sure. Thanks again, Rarity.”

I knelt down and pulled her into a one-armed hug. She smiled and nuzzled her cheek against mine.

“You’re very welcome, dear. And remember, the Boutique’s always open if you want to come visit. Ta!”

When we broke apart, she trotted off into her workroom, closing the door gently behind her. Still privately vowing to return the favor to the generous fashionista, I went into the bathroom to change. Thankfully, Opal was nowhere to be seen, and I was re-clothed in a jiffy. The clothes were nice and warm from having just come out of the dryer, and after having spent close to an hour in nothing but a bathrobe, it was refreshing. I folded the robe up as best I could and set it on the sink’s counter before exiting the bathroom and heading upstairs.

The arguing was loudest from behind a closed door that read ‘Guest Room’. My guess was that was where Sweetie Belle slept when she stayed over. I opened it softly to see the three friends in each others’ faces, squabbling with as much energy and incomprehension as a cage full of parakeets in a pet store. Their saddle bags sat on the floor, among homework papers and writing utensils. I waded in between them and separated them as best I could, though they still went at it until I raised my voice.

“Hold it, hold it, HOLD IT!”

At last they quieted down and gazed up at me, though Scootaloo coughed once or twice.

“Now, what’s all the ruckus?” I asked.

“We were just tryin’ to get our homework done, like Rarity said,” said Apple Bloom.

“So we could plan some more Crusading afterwards,” said Scootaloo.

“But we kept getting stuck on some of the problems,” said Sweetie Belle. “And then somepony wouldn’t stop tapping her pencil!”

She glared at Scootaloo, who stuck out her tongue defiantly. I sighed, rubbing my temples with one hand.

“Let me get this straight: you spent all this time arguing because Scootaloo was tapping her pencil?”

It sounded too ridiculous to believe.

“She does it all the time, though!” interjected Apple Bloom. “It’s annoyin’!”

“Oh, I do not do it 'all the time',” retorted Scootaloo.

“Do too!” snapped the little farm filly, going snout-to-snout with the obnoxious pegasus. “If ya actually bothered t' pay attention for once-”

Scootaloo scowled.

“Do you think Rainbow Dash got where she is by being a little egghead in school? I don’t think so!”

“Who are you callin’ an egghead?!”

“You!”

“Ah am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“GIRLS!”

The fillies jumped, and even I was startled. I never meant to thunder like that. A few moments of awkward silence passed, then I cleared my throat and tried again.

“Girls,” I said, softer, “I can see that tempers are high, but there's no need for pointless arguments. What are they going to lead to?”

“Arguin’ cutie marks?” asked Apple Bloom, almost hopefully.

Sweetie Belle sighed in frustration and clapped a hoof to her forehead.

“I told you, there’s no such thing as an arguing cutie mark. What would it even look like?”

For a moment, I briefly visualized an image of a pair of cartoon lips with visible teeth on a pony’s flank, yelling with sound lines jutting from them.

“How does this sound?” I asked, and they turned their attention back to me. “Since I don’t really have anything else planned, I’ll give you a hand with your homework.”

This idea delighted the three, as their faces lit up with adorably huge smiles, and they bounced around me like sheep hopping a fence, shouting “Yes!” and “Thank you!” over and over as they did so. I sat down on the floor and pulled their papers over, and they in turn crowded around me to look. When they couldn’t see from their positions, they resorted to crawling into my lap, like a trio of curious kittens.

From what I could see, they were working on matching words that were synonyms, but a lot of them seemed more advanced than I would have expected for whatever grade level they were in. At least, the ones in the right-hand column were. It seemed the assignment was to find the simpler-named synonym of the more advanced word and match the two together. All three of them, collectively, had only managed one or two connections.

“‘Obsequious’…‘Effervescent’…‘Gratuitous’?" I read off, skeptically. "Did these words even exist when I was your age? Does your teacher always give you stuff like this?”

“Not all the time,” said Sweetie Belle. “She just likes to surprise us sometimes.”

“Some surprise,” I muttered, flatly. “What’s she like?”

“Oh, Miss Cheerilee's the best, Mr. Dave,” said Apple Bloom. “She’s the nicest, kindest teacher we’ve ever had!”

“She’s the only teacher we’ve ever had,” said Scootaloo.

“Nuh-uh. Remember that one substitute teacher? Mr. Slatehoof?”

“Oh yeah. That guy was so boring. I zonked out before he even introduced himself.”

“It’s never hardfor you to ‘zonk out’, Scootaloo,” said Sweetie Belle.

The miniature pegasus gave the little unicorn a pointed look.

“Well, I’m glad you kids have such a swell teacher," I said. "Do you get on well?”

"Pretty well," said Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle nodded.

“I do ok, I guess,” said Scootaloo, shrugging.

“Straight B-’s are your idea of ok?” asked Sweetie Belle, raising an eyebrow.

Scootaloo’s orange cheeks flushed.

“Hey, now, settle down,” I said, warningly. “I never liked talking about grades, either, to be honest. What about beyond grade-wise? Are any of your other friends interested in this Cutie Mark Crusader stuff?”

“Not really,” said Apple Bloom, shaking her head sadly.

“It's just the three of us,” said Sweetie Belle, glumly.

“Oh?” I asked. “No one else in your class-”

“Is a ‘blank flank’?” asked Scootaloo, with a bitter tone to the name.

A twinge hit my gut at the name, though I wasn’t sure why.

“Who would call you such a thing?” I asked.

“Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon,” said Sweetie Belle. “They're in our grade. Just because they're rich, they think they can make the rest of us feel lousy and rub it in our faces. They were really set on teasing Apple Bloom at Tiara’s cute-ceanera, all because she didn’t have her cutie mark.”

“No!” I said, aghast.

I looked down at the little farm filly, ignoring the groan-inducing nature of the word 'cute-cenera'. She simply nodded.

“That’s horrible,” I breathed.

“It’s all right, Mr. Dave,” she said, with a small smile. “It’s cuz of Sweetie Belle and Scoot standin' up for me that we started the Crusaders.”

“Yeah, we totally showed those two snobs!” said Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle grinned.

“Wow,” was all I could say for the moment.

It seemed like, every minute, these ponies had a new way of making me do a mental double-take. The bonds between the closest of friends in this world were tightened by a history of strong mutuality and closeness, bonds which time could never break. It was believable and even inspiring for Pinkie and her friends, having been through so much together, but these three kids, these little fillies…To be such strong friends at such a young age was incredible.

“Hey, Mr. Dave? You ok?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Huh? What? Oh! Sorry, I guess I kinda zoned out."

I cleared my throat awkwardly.

"Now then, your homework. Well, what we need, first of all, is a thesaurus.”

I was met by a trio of blank stares.

“A thesaurus?" I prompted. "Kinda like a dictionary? Tells you what words are like other words?”

“Ohh! I know what one of those is!” said Sweetie Belle. “See? I told you it wasn’t a dinosaur!” she told Scootaloo.

The pegasus just rolled her eyes as Sweetie Belle went to fetch the book.

“Hey, Scootaloo, mind if I ask you something?”

“Yeah?”

“I understand Apple Bloom’s Applejack’s sister, and Sweetie Belle’s Rarity’s sister, so do you have some connection to Rainbow Dash? You remind me a lot of her.”

Scootaloo beamed, her eyes sparkling.

“Do I really? I wish I was her sister, but I’m not.”

Her smile faded briefly.

"Then who are you related to?" I asked. "Anypony I might know?"

"No, I don't think so," she said, shortly.

Something in her tone made me feel like I should back off.

"Well, all right. I was just curious. I'm not one to pry if you don't want me to."

She said nothing, so I tried a different route.

“Do you hang around with Rainbow Dash?”

That brought the smile back on her face.

“Not as much as I’d like, but she lets me watch her practice her flying sometimes. She’s just so awesome! She’s even got her own fan club!”

“That you’re the president of,” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo ignored her.

“She does the most amazing tricks! Lots of spins and dives and loop-de-loops! Sometimes I watch them with Fluttershy!”

“Oh? Fluttershy watches her practice stunts?” I asked.

“Yeah. She’s her cheering section.”

As endearing as it sounded that the timid pegasus was dedicated to cheering her friend on, I couldn’t exactly visualize her dancing about with pompoms or shouting into a bullhorn.

“Is Rainbow nice to you?” I asked.

I at least hoped the sporty mare cared that she had such a devoted fan who wanted nothing more than to worship the ground she tread, or at least the sky she zipped across.

“She’s usually busy with her stunts,” said Scootaloo, “but she’s been pretty nice to me. She even calls me ‘Scoots’ or ‘Squirt’. I’m on a nickname basis with her!”

She leaned back against my stomach, gazing up at me with the biggest smile her little face could manage. Being given such personal nicknames by the Rainbow Dash, at least to her, was apparently equal to every day being her birthday. I grinned and ruffled her mane.

“Sounds like you’ve got it good, kid. Maybe soon you’ll be soaring the skies with her.”

“I hope so, if these stupid wings would grow out.”

She glanced at her tiny wings, flapping them for good measure.

“I swear, every pegasus in our class can fly except me.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, Scoot.”

“But it’s all right. As long as I can still pull off tricks on my scooter, I can be just as daring as Rainbow Dash!”

“You ride a scooter?”

“Fastest in Ponyville,” she said, casually rubbing a hoof on her chest.

“It’s true,” said Apple Bloom. “When a pony takes 20 minutes to get from one place to another. Scootaloo can do it in 5.”

“Wow! That’s pretty impressive!” I said.

At that moment, Sweetie Belle returned, lugging an old book on her back.

“Found it!” she strained.

“Aw, Sweetie Belle, I’d have gotten it for you," I said. "That looks like it weighs a ton.”

“It’s ok, I’ve got it.”

She wobbled over and plopped it down in front of us.

“Ok, kids, gather round," I said. "It’s time for Vocabulary 101.”

Sweetie Belle retook her place on my lap as I opened the book.

“Ok, so on the left column, we have ‘unnecessary’. Let’s look that up."

I flipped through the pages until I found what I was looking for.

"Aha! ‘Unnecessary: excessive, expendable, gratuitous’.”

“Ohh!” chorused the three, comprehending.

They took their pencils and connected 'unnecessary' with 'gratuitous' on their homework papers.

“See how easy this is?" I asked. "Now, let’s take a look at the next one. ‘Cheerful’, there’s a good one. Now, going back to what we did before…”

It wasn’t exactly doing it for them, as I was technically showing them how to do it themselves. As soon as I’d done one or two words, they picked up on it and leafed through the thesaurus themselves to finish. Soon, they had their homework complete, and still had enough time to plan more Cutie Mark Crusading before dinner. Discussing these involved talking about some of the things they'd already tried before, which were not only numerous, but…Well, honestly, I could list a whole string of adjectives to describe them, but I think it’d be safe to just settle on ‘dangerous’, ‘reckless’, and ‘weird’. Why did so many of them end up with them being covered in tree sap?

In any case, they were already drawing up plans, and were deep in discussion, when I looked out the window. The sun was beginning to sink low toward the horizon. It actually made me wonder what Celestia had to do to move the sun. Was it by mental willpower, or did she have to actually steer it herself? Whatever the case, the day was drawing to a close, and I figured I should probably head back to Sugarcube Corner and see how Pinkie was holding up. It would be dinnertime soon anyway.

I was about to stand up when something tapped me on the leg. I turned around to find all three Crusaders looking up at me, grinning broadly.

“Dave, after much discussion, we’ve come to a major decision,” said Scootaloo.

“Oh?"

“We’ve decided,” said Apple Bloom, “to name you an honorary Cutie Mark Crusader!”

Sweetie Belle, in turn, held up what looked like a neckerchief in her teeth. It was red, decorated with a blue shield, with a symbol of a yellow pony rearing up on its hind legs in the center. I raised an eyebrow.

“You’re serious about this?” I asked.

“Yefph!” said Sweetie Belle. Then, realizing she still had the cloth in her mouth, spit it out. “I mean, yep!”

"It's supposed to be a cape," said Scootaloo, somewhat sheepishly, "but I guess you can wear it like a bandana, since you're so big."

Wow. They actually wanted me to be part of their group? That was...really touching.

“Have you ever had honorary members before?” I asked.

“Nope! You’re the first!” said Apple Bloom. “It’s something we just came up with!”

“And now you gotta take the Cutie Mark Crusaders Oath!” said Scootaloo.

“There’s an oath?”

“Yep! Hold up one hand, and put the other to your forehead like a salute.”

I did just as I was bid, and the three, sitting on their haunches in front of me, did likewise.

“Repeat after me," said Scootaloo. "I solemnly swear-”

“I solemnly swear-”

“To fight the fight-”

“To fight the fight-”

“Until I make my cutie mark appear.”

That part caught me a little off guard. No human, I’m sure, could get a cutie mark the way an Equestrian pony could, so technically, I was a ‘blank flank’ myself. In hindsight, I suppose that worked out well enough in theory. Still, I decided to make due with what I was dealt.

“Until I make my cutie mark appear.”

“Cross my heart-”

“Cross my heart-”

“Hope to fly-”

“Hope to fly-”

“Stick a cupcake in my eye!” said all three in unison.

“Stick a cupcake in my eye.”

It seemed they too had been inspired by the infamous Pinkie Promise.

“YAY!” they all cheered.

“Welcome aboard, honorary member Dave!” said Sweetie Belle, handing me my new neckerchief. “How does it feel to be a Crusader?”

As I tied it around my neck, an idea struck me.

“Well, gee, girls, I don’t know. I mean, I just realized something,” I said, in a worried tone.

The three looked confused.

“What?” asked Scootaloo.

“It’s something I’d been meaning to tell you, but I didn’t know how to say it…I’m an undercover agent.”

The three gasped.

“From who?” asked Apple Bloom.

“You really wanna know?”

“Yes!”

They leaned in.

“You really REALLY wanna know?”

“Yes!”

They leaned in closer.

“Well, don’t let this get around,” I whispered confidentially, “but I’m an agent of…the TICKLE MONSTER!”

Quick as lightning, I dove my hands at them and began tickling away at their bellies. The three fillies, caught completely off guard, squealed with laughter as they rolled onto their backs, at my tickling mercy.

“S-sto-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-op!!” squealed Apple Bloom. “Ah-Ah’m ticklish!”

“Me too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!!” cried Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo was laughing too hard to respond.

“Oh, it’s gonna take more than that to make me stop,” I said, playfully.

Unfortunately, I didn’t notice the conspiring look between the three fillies in their bout of giggles. All of a sudden, faster than I could process, they had leaped onto me, and now I was at the receiving end of a three-way tickle attack. Now, I was exceptionally ticklish, even by most human standards, so in the wake of this sudden change of tactics, I became the victim to their brilliant little ploy.

I don’t know how long we kept it up, or how Rarity withstood it when we were making more noise than before. All I knew was that, in that space of time, for the first time in years, the kid within me was having fun once again, without a care in the world, and the ones to show me how to do it were three little fillies still questing for their destinies.