At some point I ask Pearl about the stallion in her apartment. She tells me he’s her colt-friend, his name is Cosh, and he’s a police officer for the city. He’s on duty today, so he can’t be with us. Besides, apparently he’s very heterosexual. (Not that that really matters.)

Jeez… I’ve gotten this far, I just want to get to the good part. I’ve been driving myself nuts going through everything else. We’re almost there, though.

All we did for the rest of the day was hang out in the city. We strolled down Bridleway and I showed them the theater I work at. The next production we’re going to start working on is a new play called “Stallion of the Sea.” I haven’t gotten a script yet, so I don’t know what it’s going to be about. We spend some time throwing ideas around.

Pearl thinks it’s about an old stallion who has to make his way across a metaphorical “sea” of troubles to find his true worth and be with the one he loves.

Patches has the idea that it’s an epic tale of a heroic pirate battling monsters. I tell her that this stage does mainly musicals. When she questions that her brother tells her that epics aren’t typically musicals. Pearl adds that pirates don’t tend to be heroic, but Patches argues that that’s what would make it such a good show.

Stitches has the idea that it’s about a stallion who spends some time on the sea. He’s obviously joking, so we play along and sarcastically shoot him down. It was good fun. I throw in the idea of it being about a mare who meets a stallion in her dreams, the sea being a metaphor for the uneasiness of the dream world she tries to live in with her imaginary mate. “That’s what I’d make it about,” I say. Stitches agrees that that would probably be the best play of any of the ones they spitballed. Then we all agree that it probably won’t be about that, despite it possibly being the best idea. I remember blushing a few times, with the way they praised my idea.

I can’t really focus on what we did after that. We got some pretzels and talked about our jobs, school and life. Stitches brought up a query on why our circle of friends wasn’t bigger. The rest of us knew that it was kind of a touchy subject, so Patches let him know quietly. He apologized, then suggested we take another visit to the bar from last night.

The three of us raised a collective eyebrow at him. He laughed like he just wanted to see the reactions on our faces. Pearl suggested we go to the supermarket and get groceries for my apartment. I insisted the store was too far away, and it was getting late. Everyone agreed, so we just went back to my place. We considered going to anyone else’s, but decided against it, believing it best not to send me walking home alone in the dark again.

Stitches suggests that I spend the night with them, but we agree on my place in the end because it was closer anyway. They know I can’t feed them, so we order a pizza and split the cost.

While we wait, Patches figures it’s a safe time to try out the “Dream-Boat Exercise” again. This time I go with a tall pegasus that has a mane long enough to braid. Pearl plays along, but goes with a mare with a crew-cut who likes small dogs. It was a bit of a shock, however sarcastic. Besides, we all know she’s already in a relationship. Patches considers the idea of a mare, but can’t bring herself to come up with one and goes back with the idea she had before.

The pizza shows up then and we take a small break to eat. Then we all look to Stitches. He ends up surprising us all by saying he’d like somepony he can protect.

We all look at him for a second. I don’t know what’s on the girl’s faces, but I’m sure I look confused, even a bit skeptical. He’s dead serious.

Patches makes sure to clarify that we’re just doing this for fun, obviously afraid of the scenario devolving in a similar way to before.

“I know,” he says. “I just felt like taking the opportunity to put it out there. I want somepony who needs me. And, more than anything…” He looks me straight in the eye. Somehow, I know what he’s trying to say. It has to be as obvious as I think it is; he wants me. The thought drives me insane! How could he be like this out of nowhere? I’ve never thought of him that way before. He’s always just been a coworker, or Patches’ little brother. In an instant, he looks away. “I feel tired of being the one everypony is looking after,” he finishes, looking away. “It’s like everyone thinks I’m weak.”

I have no idea what he’s feeling, but I feel like I understand him. I don’t know what to do next. I look at Patches. She looks back at me. “Maybe,” Pearl considers, “this game wasn’t such a good idea.”

Stitches gets an offended look on his face. “You think I’m not serious?”

I try to come to the rescue, saying, “Of course we do. We’ve just had a little too much serious today, and that’s not your fault.”

He looks ashamed. “I’m sorry,” he admits. “I’m a little tired I guess, and I just wanted to take a chance for you guys to know what I’m seriously feeling.”

Patches looks between me and Pearl, and we all silently agree. “We can take some more serious tonight,” she inspires. “Just as long as we’re all happy by bedtime.”

Stitches smiles at his sister, then at all of us. “Promise you won’t be mad?”

The girls promise, and I’m about to, but I can sense unease in him. Maybe…

“I’ll promise,” I tell him, “but can I be serious first for a moment?”

He gives me a strange look, like he can’t imagine why, but says, “Yeah, sure.”

I nod, trying to choose where to start. “I was nearly raped last night, after the party. I was on my way home through Centurion Park when it happened.” He has genuine concern on his face, which is just what I was hoping for. “I’m all right now. Something I did, or said, stopped him from getting very far. When he came to his senses, or whatever—” sorry, not very serious, “—I suddenly felt safe. It was a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time. I was so confused by the feeling, and that it came upon me through the actions of a rapist. I… want to feel safe.” I can’t remember if I’d told him before, but I was telling him now. “I have always wanted somepony to make me feel safe.”

I selfishly guessed at what he wanted and was trying so hard to lean him toward me. I had plenty on my mind about it, thinking that I might have thought about being with him before, but I know I never got very far with those thoughts. He was just a friend, a good friend. Plus, I’d always believed he was straight. Now, with the possibility of having him, I’m saying all the right things without so much as a second thought.

He looks at me confused. He obviously knows I just told him that I am what he thinks he’s looking for, but he also had never planted the idea of being with me. I smile, mostly just glad at the chance of getting something I’d hoped for longer than I can remember right now. He swallows, nervous. I look down, also getting a bit of stage fright. I look at Patches, pleading with my eyes, almost asking her permission to go along with this. She looks away from Pearl with a face that says she lost a bet. I smile again, remembering how good Pearl happened to be at guessing a pony’s sexuality.

Patches smiles back, then smiles at her brother. Nothing is said, so I step closer. His eyes are the color of a dark pink blush, and his pupils seem noticeably enlarged. I know mine must be dilated as well. The thought of having somepony to be with. To lay with. I really do feel in love. I hate myself, for a second, knowing I’d have to write it down but hating the thought of accidentally writing a cheesy romance. I push the thought away though. The moment is more important.

It was not my first kiss. That will always hold a special place in my mind, chained down by the emotions of the memories of incidents surrounding it. I felt like making a different choice; I let him kiss me. We both already knew it was what we wanted, and that it was going to—or otherwise should happen, right now. I closed my eyes. Let him come to me. It was beautiful.

It started off just between our lips. I dared to take it farther, opening my jaw, spreading our lips and venturing to unknown flavors. He smelled of spearmint, and pepperoni. The flavor of his mouth felt like a drug. I wanted to think of what I smelled like, but he obviously didn’t care, high on the sensation like I was. He indulged my experiment and we kissed endlessly. I reached my tongue into his mouth, wrestling with his, brushing against his teeth lightly. His tongue creeped into my mouth, sending shivers down my spine. I had never done anything like this. And now, just maybe, I could have it for good.

He broke off and brushed his cheek against mine, moving his head past my muzzle and down to rest on my shoulder. We hugged and a sound he made brought me back to a time when I would hug Minty Swirl. Just like back then, I couldn’t tell if he was laughing, or crying. He clarified, “God, we are dumb.”

I instantly knew what he meant. “I know,” I agreed, holding him closer. “Why didn’t we do this sooner?” I hear him sigh and think he’s sad about something. He did laugh, didn’t he?

He holds me incredibly tightly I almost feel crushed. I loved the feeling though. “I just never thought…” He breaks away and looks into my eyes. His pupils are normal-sized, considering the dimming light outside. “I never imagined you needing protecting.”

I sigh, with a smile. “Well, just like you,” I probe, “there are some things you don’t know about me.” I was referencing the idea that none of us really knew he was gay, if he truly was. It was up to him.

A look on his face makes me think he’s ashamed of a secret. Maybe the one we just learned, or one he still has hidden. I try to comfort him—like the boyfriend I hope to be. “Hey,” I tell him, caressing his neck, “I’m here. We can protect each other.” I had never really humored the idea, but it was the ideal relationship. I knew that what I wanted was selfish, and I was ok with that. But, now that my goal was so close I needed to lasso it in, then nurture it.

He smiles at me, then frowns again. I frown, too, concerned. “I just…” he stops to think, leaving me in dreadful suspense. Don’t cut me off, I beg you. “I don’t want to move too fast.”

My brain sighs, knowing I haven’t let the fish off the line yet. “Obviously,” I say, trying to play back into the “good friends” atmosphere. Because, in the end, we still will be the best of friends, just a little closer. “It’s getting pretty late,” I point out. “Somepony’s got to get these girls home.” I had barely given a second thought to the mares in my apartment for the past three minutes. I knew they were still there, but they didn’t matter. They had looks of ease on their faces, mixed with joy. “Plus, I’ve got to work tomorrow.” His shift didn’t start at the same time as mine, and I wasn’t sure if he actually worked on Mondays. Regardless, I needed an excuse to get them out. We both needed a little time to soak in the thoughts of what happened. He should be able to do it, even with his sister around. But we can’t be together tonight.

As they head out the door, he stops once more to say something. “And just so we’re clear,” he says, much more at ease, “no matter what happens, we’ll always be friends.”

At that time I smile, and agree whole-heartedly. A few seconds later, I panic, thinking he didn’t really intend to take our relationship anywhere. I brush off the idea, knowing he needed me the same way I needed him. Plus, I only wanted to be happy tonight.

I made sure to get it all written down quickly. Sorry if any of it’s a little incorrect, but not really. I had such a hard time keeping it in that whole time. But, now that it’s out, I can relax. Which is good, since I’ve got work tomorrow, and I’m glad a rapist won’t be the only thing on my mind.

Author's Notes:

In which I make you cringe with a title that implies something gross.