I dreamed about the spiral again. I was walking, but I wasn't on the drawn line anymore. I was walking over empty space, away from the line. I looked back at it and saw a pony, a stallion. He was tan with a white mane, but that was all I saw. I didn't see any perfection, or flaws, or even the style of his mane. Couldn't even tell if he was a unicorn, or pegasus or anything. Only colors. He was standing on the line, his head turned toward me. I felt afraid; of him, of the line. I didn't even know him, but why was I afraid of the line?

When I woke up I was in a bed, being cuddled. Dale had carried me back inside and mom was awake. She told him I could probably be somewhere more comfortable than the couch. He took me to his room, to his hoof-me-down queen-sized bed. I was always jealous of his big bed, mine was twin, but also his soft quilt. He made it himself, the quilt, stuffed it with goose down he got somewhere. He was embarrassed when he woke up, some time after I woke up. I loved the feel of him against me, not at all upset that he was my brother. He said he thought there was enough room on the bed, but that he didn't want me getting blood on the quilt, so he took it off, but then I looked cold and he moved closer. At first he was just pressed against me, back-to-back. Then we woke up spooning. He felt so much stronger than he ever seemed before, and I felt so safe. I didn't think about what parts of him touched me, or where. All I knew was I was comfortable, warm, safe.

I wanted to thank him for keeping me safe, but I didn't want him feeling more awkward.

Right now I'm feeling exhausted again. I skipped breakfast because of an upset stomach, then came downstairs to write about everything that happened. I've been writing for a while and now I'm starving. Plus mom said Doctor Lavender stopped by with actual pain medications. I think I'll go take one, with my lunch.

After that I'm going to work. I won't actually work, I'm in no shape. I just need to see Churner, to show him I'm all right, and explain to him what happened. With my father, that is. I'll tell him all about the head injury when I get to it, but I have to tell a story from the beginning. He needs to know about my father first.

Velvetine was at the butter shop today, sitting around, waiting for ponies to buy butter that was made in bulk two days ago. She was surprised to see me, greeting me like a long-lost friend. She was wearing too much make-up again.

"Churner was so worked up after your dad flew off the hinges," she explained, "he just kept churning. He was like a machine that day, pouring, churning, scooping. Over and over. I came to check on him and he already made almost twenty pounds of butter! He hadn't even opened the store. Right now, he's still pretty beat up, but business is business, and butter won't stay butter if it's left here for a week."

"I'm so sorry," I tell her. "I didn't want for any of that to happen."

She looks away, a little sad. "You need to tell him that." She takes a deep breath—she really does love him—then, "He's been slumping around Dawn's farm all day yesterday." Then she sees my head, "What happened to you?" She's a tad insensitive with the question but I brush it off, telling her everything that happened, stopping at the part where Dale wakes me up at sunrise. "Yikes," she leers. I don't appreciate the awkward stare, but brush it off again. "You look like you're in worse shape than him. Anyway, you need to talk to him. He should still be at Dawn's."

I thank her and get on my way. At some point on my walk my migraine starts creeping back, but I ignore it. Climbing the hill to Dawn's house my eyes blur. I'm not wearing my glasses, but this is serious. I follow Doctor Lavender's instruction and sit down, close my eyes and take deep breaths. I don't have my medicine with me though. I wish I had brought it with me, or somepony to help me. I just need to make it up the hill.

Suddenly I'm being lifted. My right foreleg is over somepony's shoulders and we're moving. Most of my weight is on this newcomer so my head doesn't hurt as much, but I don't open my eyes.

Then I hear him, "You weren't supposed to come here."

Churner had come to me. He must have seen me on the hill, from wherever he was. He must have guessed I needed help when he saw my bandages. I'm happy, then I notice he sounds absolutely pissed that I've come.

When I open my eyes I'm inside Dawn's house. It's cleaner than when I left after her birthday. I'm in her living room, sitting on a hard loveseat. It might have once been soft, but not anymore.

Dawn walks in. "Ah," she says, "I couldn't tell if you were out or not. Your lights weren't on."

I don't know if this is code, or just an idiom. I respond in code, "My steering wheel is a little broken."

"Did you hit a reef?"

I don't understand for a second, but she's going along with my boat reference. I smile, thinking my literal explanation might sound like a code. She sets a cup of tea on the table in front of me as I say, "I fell into a hole." She looks at me like she almost understands, but I elaborate, "Literally. There was a rock." Why do I feel like laughing?

"Oh," she says, then softer, "oh..."

I take a sip of tea and feel uplifted. It smells like ginger, but tastes like sugary dirt. Regardless of the flavor, my headache subsides and my vision clears. I sigh after partaking of the hot drink. Then a thought hits me; "Where's Churner?"

I barely notice how worried she looks before I ask my question. She clears up and looks at me. "He thought it would be better if you didn't see him," she says

"But, Velvetine said, at his store, that he felt awful. That I needed to talk to him."

"You went to the store? He was there, you should have seen him."

"No he wasn't," I chide. Then I think about it. I suppose I could have missed Velvetine's lie, but that doesn't explain why Churner doesn't want to see me.

"Maybe not," she grumbles, taking a sip of her own tea. "I thought he was."

"Maybe he was..." I'm heartbroken. He really doesn't want to see me?

"I was," I hear him say, somewhere. "I told Velvet to lie to you. I didn't want her sending you here, though."

I can't tell by his voice but he must feel as upset as I do. Right? "Why?" I ask to nopony.

"Because you shouldn't have come to me. You're better off without... your father made that clear." I can hear him choke up. He doesn't want to push me away, but doesn't want any more trouble.

I sigh apologetically. "We don't have to worry about him anymore," I promise.

Dawn chimes in, "Oh just come talk to him."

After a few seconds, Churner creeps around a corner that leads to the stairwell to the second floor. He doesn't say anything, just frowns angrily at me while he stands there. He’s acting angry, but his eyes harbor sadness. I speak up, "My dad's experiencing memory loss. He doesn't remember what happened. He thinks I still work for—"

"But you don't!" He shouts. I'm shocked, but he keeps going, "We messed up. I messed up. I went too far, trying to spare your feelings."

I swallow. "Are you saying you wish you didn't spare my feelings? That you didn't want me to be happy?"

"No," he stutters, "I-I mean, yes. But, I mean not like that. I shouldn't have—"

"Shouldn't have kissed me," I finish for him. "I agree. If this is how you feel about me being happy than I actually wish I'd never come to work for you." I know that isn’t what he means. Why am I mixing his words like this? Is there something wrong with my head?

"No," he sobs.

What?

"I... don't love you. Not like that, and I'm afraid to say I do. I don't know why, at all. But I still want to be friends."

"Aren't you, like fifteen years older than him?" Dawnette says, casually sipping her tea.

I'm a little offended that she brought that up. After a confused second, Churner just laughs a little. Then a little more. I smile, but when I start laughing my head throbs. Churner's hoof is on his face, trying to calm himself down. I don't know what could be so funny, but seeing him laugh makes me want to laugh. Too bad I'm in so much pain.

Suddenly he says, "I'm glad I followed you here. I really needed this."

"What?" I can't believe what he just said! He probably didn't mean it but... "All you needed was a good laugh?" I get up from my seat. "Why did I bother trying to apologize when I could have just cracked a joke?" My head is spinning, a whirlpool of pain, but I don't care. I step closer to him. He's smiling. "Well, for what it's worth, I'm sorry my father made such a big mistake, then completely U-turned! If it still means anything, I'm sorry I loved you!" I've gotten very close to him, but I can't see him through the blood-red tears. Is that a symptom of the head injury, or have I always had red tears when I got angry?

He steps closer to me and, like a damned fool, kisses my cursed mouth.

Author's Notes:

In which I curse my own mouth.