I want to sneak out. I've never done it before. Mom and dad kept arguing after I stopped listening, I started writing. Started crying.

I cry silently, gasping, sobbing, aching. I don't want anypony hearing me, so I'm glad my room is underground. After the arguing has stopped somepony comes to my door. I shut up, listening and hiding. They knock. Is it mom? Dad? Someone else? Anyone else...? What do they want? I stay quiet. Whoever they are, they knock again, a little louder. I remain quiet.

Hoof steps alert me that the pony has left. Up the stairs. Into a bedroom, mom and dad's bedroom. I get up, sneaking up the stairs to listen. No pony's in the kitchen, but I never heard a second pony go upstairs. I stuff a scarf under the door to hide the light of my lamp so I can write. I've been writing, or crying, all night so far.

Like I said, I want to sneak out. Obviously I haven't yet, but I want to. Should I? Somepony's still upstairs, I think, possibly awake waiting for me. I want to go, for some reason I want to warn Churner. I feel like dad's going to hurt him. I won't be able to see him again for a few days. He gave me the day off Saturday, for my trip. I won't be back until Monday.

I want to go somewhere.

You can't tell, I guess, but I'm pausing a lot. I don't know what to say. I'll think of something, right? Something to write about how I feel. How do I feel?

What do I write?

My alarm just went off. I didn't realize it was that time already, 5:30 a.m. I have to be at the train station in half an hour.

But what am I going to do?

I'm on thetrain now. I toook plenty of papper with me, to wwrite this, but I-m having a bit of trouuble with thhe bumps. Kind off makes it lok likke I write a ffew letters twicee.

I do appreciate hhow it makes me feell, a little moore light-hearted in this stone-coold situation. I never got the chhance to talk to Churnerr, just as I asssumed. Dad was awake on the sofa all nigght, didn' t talk to me whenI got up. Mom came downstair as I pouredd myself some cereel.

"Good morning," she sang. I mumbledback, incoherently. "I'm surprised you slept so well, today's a big day." I can't believe she said that! She came to my door? She wanted to talk? What did she want to say? Or ask? What…

I just mumble back.again.

"I wonder what kinds of ponies we'll meet while we're there," she yawns. "Some nice filllies maybe?" I pour my milK while she takes a deep breath. "Some colts, too." My javv clenches and I spill some milk. She reacts slowly, grabbing a towell to start wiping it up. I back away from the table and let her. She clears her throet as she wipes the table,"somethng wrong Timber?"

"It’s mothing," I Lie, "just tired." These bums are kind of starting to get annoyying. I’m probobly going to hate editing this Later, if I everr edit this. I’m still kind of undcided on wether or not Ill ever let another living pony reed this.

"Oh, I bett," she says. "Never gotten up this early."

Never left my room this early, I think. "Yeah."

"lDo you have everything you need?" She inquires.

"What do I need?."I respond.

"Oh, I don't know. Paper, pens,"

"What would I need those for!" I didn't shoutt, that's supposed to be a puestion mark. I gotta say though, I'm getting pretty good at wriiting on the train. I still don’t like it.

"You never know," she yawns again. "How about changge of clothes?"

"Yean," I yawn back. moving to eat my cereal when she's finished cleaning. I don't actuallY wear a lot of clothes, but I have something warm just in caase.

"How about an umbrella? It might rainn."

I small part of me is starting to get annoYed by her, but I ignore it. I Can’t help but think think about Dawnette, her secret code, then instantly think I'll need more than an umbrella it it rains; I'll needat least a tent. Something I can't actually have. Not anymore.

(Don't think like that.)

Don't talk to me righ now, please.

(When woukd you rather I talk?)

When I'm alone in bed.

(I thought you were always alone?)

I wouldn't say 'alone" as much as "lonely."

(Right, there is a difference.)

Exactly.

(But anyway, you will be happy, I promise. You may not get what you want right away, but don't let that slop you from reaching for it.)

Right, “don't let what you want right now disstract you from what you truly want,” or something like that.

(Something liKe that.)

I relish the thought of happiness. I’m grateful to have soneone to cheer me up just by putting thoughts in my head. Its so much easier than having a live conversation. Then again, it technically is a live conversation, isn’t it?

Mom just asked if everything's all right. I told her I feel a little motion- sick, having never been on a train before.

She moved to sit next to me for a while, wrapping a hof around me for comfort. It was comfortable, But Granny could tell I wanted space. She suggested that I need food. Mom protested that I don't need food if my stomach is sick. Granny just says "Trust me," annd takes mom by the hoof to the dining car. We have tables here, so there should be food here, right? Apparently only one car on the whole trrain has food available.
The sun is officially up so the cab lights turn off. I preffered the direct, synthetic light, but the sunrise is beeutiful. I'm gonna stop writing for a while to look out the window. I actually am getting a litttle motion-sick.

Author's Notes:

In which I drive myself insane by intentionally spelling half the words incorrectly.