This last week has been a blur, ever since dad gave me the news. I still don't know what Granny Lester has planned, but this is such a big step forward!

I gave the news to Churner. He's excited for me as well and gives me a quick hug to celebrate. I don't remember if I told him that it's my dream to move to Manehatten, because I was expecting him to be sad. He shouldn't want me to leave, but maybe he's just truly happy for me. Later he tells me he got my letter and hugs me again. Everything's fine, it would seem.

I don't remember what business was like, but I did my job, for sure. I wanted to get a nice souvenir, so I made sure to earn my pay. Or maybe I'll just keep saving it, I don't want to waste any of it before I actually move out. Besides, I can get as many souvenirs as I want once I live there.

We'll be leaving in the morning, spending all day Saturday doing whatever Granny has planned. Spend the night in a hotel, do something else Sunday morning, then be back before dinner. We've got to get going pretty early; it's almost half a day's train ride to the city. We'll meet Granny at the station and go along from there.

I've always had the best times with Granny Lester. Despite growing up on a rock farm, she's really quite fun! She inherited her own grandmother's fortune from a long life of cartography and cataloging. Granny tells us stories about how our great, great grandmother drew the first map of Equestria. When she married the stallion who invented the steamboat she set out across the world, mapping deserts and rain forests in lands that I've never heard of. One island, I'm told, had no ponies living on it, so she named it after her dog, Fitch. Her family—and maybe someday our family—owns a tropical island, far south, called Fitchland.

Thanks to my great, great grandmother being such an explorer, Granny Lester has more of a fortune than she knows what to do with. Living on a rock farm limits her options of grand spending sprees so she loves to treat her daughter—my mother—and all her grandchildren.

And a lot of times she forgets her old age, getting into trouble by pushing her limits. Medically, we've never had an emergency, but more than a couple times we've had to cut an adventure short to tend to her aches and pains.

Grandfather Todd is not at all like Lester. He's a very hard-working stallion who doesn't have anything like a funny bone, or a sweet tooth. He says he married Lester to spice up his life, and boy did she ever spice it up. From what I've been told, she was so adventurous she'd wear him out, then rolling-pin press him flat. He aged so quickly, but always loved spending time with her, just because he could.

I've often thought about what it might be like to have a pony I couldn't stop looking at, maybe give a glance to the way Grandfather often looked at Granny. I've never looked at anypony that way, I don't think. Churner always made me feel warm, but I never smiled at him like that. Minty made me smile, but I never loved her more than as a friend. Had I seen Loaf that way?

Great, now I’ve got him in my head. Maybe I did look at him that way, because thinking about him now I can feel a funny smile creep up on my lips. I can't see myself, but I don't feel foolish. I feel like I look foolish, but with Loaf on my mind...

Sorry. And, sorry again. I say sorry for pausing, but then I don't give any indication that I just took a solid ten minutes to think of how Loaf looked while we were swimming, or drying off. Him climbing the "Challenge Rope," falling on his butt after a real effort. Even just eating a s'more in the flickering light of a campfire.

Sorry, again... I just miss him so much.

How did I get to this? To a stallion I'll never see again, a stallion I thought I'd forgotten about. Hold on.

Sorry, dad came down. He saw my light on and decided to come down to talk. I... I need to write about this.

He said he got the mail yesterday, a letter came from an address he didn't recognize. It was from a filly named Minty Swirl.

I sigh, upset that he read my letter. Then, simply, I ask, "What did it say."

The look on his face is impossible to read, he had the same look when he gave me the news about Granny and Manehatten. "It said you kissed Churner."

My heart stops, I don't feel anything for a few seconds.

"This Minty, she's Churner's daughter?"

I unintentionally nod. My stomach is sick.

"And you decided to kiss him?"

"I-I... n-no..." what am I trying to say? “He, kissed me..." It wasn't true though. He wanted to, for my sake, but I kissed him first.

"I didn't know you felt that way."

Do I want to cry? He wasn't supposed to find out! Not like this. Was he ever supposed to find out? "Dad, I..."

When I don't say anything he gets up to leave. He was sitting on my bed. "Have fun at Manehatten." He says it like he'll never see me again. Shouldn't he be angry? Shouldn't he be yelling at me? That this isn't the way ponies were meant to feel!?

I'm hyperventilating. I might throw up, but I don't. I haven't yet, at least. I calmed down enough to write this all... Did I miss something? In my stupor did I totally blank out and pass through something important he said? Did I block it out? I don't think so...

I hope I can get to sleep. And I really hope this doesn't ruin my trip.