It's Dawnette who's humming.

(Don't look for flaws in her.)

I think back, I'll never stop. The light humor picks me up some, but my headache is still bothering me.

"Hello again Mister Timber." She always greeted me very formerly. I've only met her a few times, but so far she likes everypony she meets. "Lovely afternoon isn't it?"

"Yes, but we could use some rain." Despite what little our relationship was built on, she always told me to talk in code. That way I never had to directly say what was on my mind. "Rain" meant I felt like crying.

"I'd be happy to share my umbrella." She's offering to comfort me.

I try to think of some code that will tell her my heart is broken. "I'm waiting for the full moon tonight." I choke up slightly, barely keeping it under wraps. There will be a new moon tonight, though.

She takes some time to think about that one. "I see you didn't comb your mane this morning."

I guess that she means I look worse than I feel. Apparently I take too long thinking about it, she cuts in again.

"It's Churner isn't it?"

I squeeze back tears and take a shaky breath. "My friends tell me to... take a closer look." She knows about Aura. Well, sort of. She knows I think a lot, in the form of talking to myself, and she sees it as completely normal. She sits down next to me. I speak again, "My old friend says he—I… my old friend says—“

"You want to talk to him," she says bluntly. Sometimes, simple is just better. "I'll get him, if you say what you mean. You kind of confused me back there."

She finishes off with a soft old mare laugh, which makes me smile. "I think... I think my hearts broken, and I want it to be whole again." I explain my full moon analogy. "Talking to myself... well, I want to see him again, to get something straight. I don't think I want to talk to him, I just want to see what he really looks like." I doubt if she understood what I meant by that.

"You're special, Timber," she says. I can feel her cheeky grin as we look out at her field of dairy cows grazing, the sun setting behind a forested hill beyond. "You are special, the way you are, but you're not alone. My husband was very old fashioned, and I understand your father has those tendencies as well. They might not understand, and they might be afraid to find the truth, but they'll come around." She pauses a second. "Well, Buttons won't, he's dead." She offers a hearty laugh, which kind of scares me. I worry sometimes that the loss of her husband has driven her mad. "In his time, someone like you wouldn't be treated the same way. Now, that's technically true for today, too, but back then ponies got seriously hurt!" She laughs again, which makes me tense up. "Today, though, today is different. Some ponies might look at you strangely for a while, but you're still a pony, just like them."

I think back to what Aura said about the bullies. It only hurts if I let it. I didn't always let it, but sometimes I just, needed to. Now, I don't need to. If ponies know, they might look at me strange for a while, but that won't hurt me, I won't let it.

As long as I've got the right pony by my side.

"Churner is a very modern pony, believe it or not," Dawn's still talking to me, "he knows how to use those new-fangled churning machines. He doesn't like those as much, but he's still more modern than you think. He'll understand." She stands up. "Don't hurt his feelings though. He's modern... but his barn door doesn't swing that way." She winks at me before walking away.

Not long after, Churner comes down. The setting sun casts a long shadow on the hill, but the sky is still bright. I want to wait until it's dark, so I can watch the colors change from yellow, to orange, pink, violet, black…

"Dawn said you wanted to talk."

"Shh..." I look to him. He opens his mouth to ask something, but I stop him, "Just, let me look at you first."

I do what Aura said. Turning my body, I glance at every part of him that I've admired for the past two weeks or so, I don't quite remember how long. I don't go too far, though, keeping my eyes away from awkward parts. His shoulders are still proud and broad, but not too much so. His back arches while he stands there and the curve just looks, comfortable. His cutie mark is still very cute, and his trimmed tail is still the perfect length. His hooves aren't clean, after a day of work and a long walk. I assume I'm not very clean, after my tumble in the dirt. My tongue throbs unexpectedly, but I ignore it.

I gaze into his bright, confused eyes, waiting for the answer to arise; what flaws? Sure his chest is softer than I expected, but that can't be all. His hooves, his rear, his eyes, his hair.

Then it hits me!

I step up to him and undo the tie that keeps his hair back. His peach mane falls straight to the sides of his face. It starts making sense. I don't know how but this detail changes so much.

His neck is thin, scrawny almost. His nostrils flare a little too much when he breaths. He's got bags under his eyes, and... No way. As he moves his head to throw back his stringy mane, then look back at me, one eye just doesn't focus. A lazy eye.

I smile. I'm happy that I can let him go, happy that Aura was right, but upset that by seeing imperfections I'm suddenly not in love, like I'm suddenly shallow. (You still love him. But I had to help you let him go. Now, you have learned to look more closely, and you will also learn to look past these things when the time comes.)

Churner straightens his hair back but doesn't tie it back up. "Yeah, I've been meaning to let it down for a while. So what was that all about?"

I sigh, "I love you."

He smiles, "Minty told me about that. Said it was your idea to say that to good friends."

It wasn't my idea. Besides, he was wrong. "No," I shake my head, "I love you, more than that. I was in love with you since I started working for you, since I found out I was wrong about you."

He frowns and his eyebrows knit together. His lips form lots of different shapes before agreeing on what to say, "Wrong?"

I sigh again, this isn't going the way I wanted. "Minty told me you always fought with Frosty. I always thought you were the one to blame, I had never actually met you. I thought you didn't actually love them."

He's speechless again, thinking for a few seconds. Then, "So, you... wanted me?"

"I wanted to be with you. Every time I looked at you after that day, you just looked stronger, more handsome. I never knew what love felt like..."

"Did you... ever, like... want me?"

I suddenly felt confused, but needed to make sure he understood what I wanted. And be truthful about it. "Yes, once. When we churned butter..."

"Then, is that the real reason you..."

I just nod, looking down. "I had never felt that way before, but I guess... I did... want you."

"But you're like, twenty! How could you not know... frickin'..."

"Lust?"

"Yes!"

Him raising his voice is stressing me out. "I've always known what it was,” I explain, “but I've never felt it before." My tone turned from friendly to authoritative. He wasn't getting it. I took a deep breath, steadied myself. "You were just... everything else I was looking for. To be honest, I never thought I'd find... everything."

"I was, the first to make you feel this way?" He sits in disbelief.

I sit also. "The first to burn me up like that, yes. There was one other stallion, but he's... he's gone."

Churner's quiet for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. After a while he continues, "So when you saw Velvetine...?"

"I guess I was jealous, and afraid, and angry at you. I don't know why but I blamed you. I... I'm sorry."

We sit in silence a while longer. He's taking it all in, but he's surprisingly calm about it. The way he's sitting I see between his legs. In a split-second glance I swear one of his balls is smaller than the other. It makes me smile a little.

Is this how it's gonna be now? I ask myself, or Aura, if he's still around.

With no response I fall back to Equestria. He sees the grin on my face and smiles too. I'm glad he doesn't ask why I'm smiling. Then, out of nowhere, "So you really think everything about me is perfect?"

I laugh out loud at that. "I sure did," I say once I calm down. "That doesn't mean everything was perfect."

"Nah," he scoffs, "Velvetine's not perfect either. Have you seen her eye-shadow?"

"Oh boy, have I!" We laugh together, and I know everything's fine.