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An Invasion of Another Sort

by little big pony

Chapter 1: They Came from the Futon!

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Author's Notes:

Ladies and gentlemen, I want you to do me a favor. This is a... different story, an admittedly weird one. This isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea. But, before you go ahead and downvote it and start losing it in the comments, I just want to you read the whole thing. It's not very long, it's only going to have five relatively short chapters, so if you could, PLEASE refrain your judgment until the end.

I know that 90% of people don't read this, and the other ten are probably going to give me the finger for giggles, but I thought that I'd throw it out there.


Now please, enjoy.

Rachel always liked to think she was level-headed girl. Sure, she had her moments just like anyone else, there were times when she would let emotions get the better of her, but all-in-all she wasn’t one that jumped to conclusions or overreacted at the drop of a dime. She reacted well under pressure, she acted smartly whenever the need arose, and she always made sure to think before she spoke. In most cases.


“…She’s a horse.”


Before her, sitting on the futon that they had bought together the day that they moved into their apartment, was her boyfriend James. It was his day off; she could tell because he was wearing what he usually wore on his days off: a pair of far too big pajama bottoms and his dirty and ripped up Buzz Lightyear t-shirt that he had gotten half-off at a flea market when he was twelve. She never particularly liked that shirt of his. It was an old, ratty thing with too many holes and stains that clung stubbornly to the fabric no matter how many times she threw it in the wash.


Time and again she had tried throwing the thing away, had tried for years and years, but James would never let her. She had tried begging and pleading. She had offered to buy him the same shirt—one that would actually fix him and one that didn’t have so many holes in it. She had threatened, and more than once she had tried to just dispose of it herself when he wasn’t home. She had tried all of these things, but time and again she’d fail. As if some otherworldly force had it out for her, James would always refuse her bargains, ignore her threats, and bring the t-shirt back home, cleaning it off and placing it in the closet in between his dress shirts whenever she threw it away.


Seeing it always drove her crazy, and every time that she looked at it her eye would always twitch.


But her main focus at the moment wasn’t her boyfriend, who was sitting on their futon with his legs crossed and his hands resting on his legs. It was the creature seated next to him.


“Pony actually,” said being chirped, leaning over and wrapping an enormous wing around James’s shoulders.


Rachel stared at the creature sitting on her futon with nothing less than mystified confusion and shock. All things considered, it was an oddly pretty creature. She liked how pretty its white, almost ivory-colored, fur looked, and those wings on its back looked especially soft, fluffy, and rather striking. That, along with its long, spiraled horn and big, pretty amethyst eyes, made the inner girl in her squeal. It was a unicorn; a unicorn with wings and soft, plush fur and a pudgy belly and the most beautiful mane and tail that she had ever seen was sitting on her futon with its wing around her boyfriend.


She let her gaze linger on the pony for a few moments more. She looked at the crown and necklace, both of which seemed to glitter in the artificial light of the room. She looked at its slender body, its long neck, its oddly thick and shapely rump with what looked like a sun on each hip. She looked at this wondrous, fantastical, beautiful, impossible creature that had just up and appeared in her home as if by magic. And her eye twitched.


Taking a few deep, deep breathes to calm herself, she looked over at James. His slightly too long hair teased the top of his eyebrows as he stared back at her. If one didn’t know any better they’d have said that he looked completely calm, but Rachel knew better. There was a sadness in those green eyes of his; the same kind of sadness that one might see in a puppy dog when it was caught eating its owner’s food, but right along with it she could see determination and resolution. Rachel rarely saw such a look in his eyes, but whenever she did she knew she was in for a headache. A big one.


She had known her boyfriend for many, many years. James was a pretty alright guy all things considered. Not great but acceptable. He had a job at the local post office and he made alright money. He was also pretty good looking; not a ten outta ten, but a girl could take someone like him home to meet her parents without feeling embarrassed. Sure, he had some odd… quirks, but what man didn’t?


But this though. THIS was something else.


“Rachel, I know that you might be hurt right now but you have to understand,” he began, leaning forward and placing his hands in his lap. “But I’ve been doing a bit of soul-searching and —”


“She’s a horse!” Rachel blurted out, outrage mixing in with her confusion. “You’re dumping me for a horse?!”


“Pony,” James corrected matter-of-factly, with a bizarre amount of confidence. “But yes, I’m dumping you for a pony.”


He drummed his fingers against his legs in the way that he always did when he was nervous.


"...You can keep everything in the kitchen, and the bed if you want. And I know you like the TV too so you can have that as well, but I kinda want the futon if you don't mind. I’ve had a lot of good memories on this thing. And I'd REALLY appreciate it if I could have the fridge too maybe…?"


The question hung in the air for a few moments as Rachel stared at him. Not screamed, not shouted, just stared at him, wearing an expression of confused irritation. She waited for him to hop off the futon and start laughing. He’d say that he was kidding. He’d show her that the pony regally sitting on the futon with that smile of hers, was some sort of puppet. She’d yell at him because he deserved to be yelled at. He’d start laughing like the dummy he was. He’d then immediately stop laughing when she stormed into their bedroom, tossing him a pillow, and informed him that he’d be sleeping on the futon tonight.


But the laughter never came.


Though she tried her hardest to look for them, she couldn’t find any strings or wires anywhere near the pony. As far as she could tell the rise and fall of the pony’s chest, the blinking of its eyes, the small movements in its wings and hooves and ears were very real. In spite of all rationality, in spite of all that was good and sensible, it seemed that she actually had a talking, horned, winged pony, who was the size of a Great Dane, sitting on her futon. And said pony had, somehow, taken her boyfriend from her.


Rachel opened her mouth. She then closed it as both James and the pony looked at her expectantly. “That’s a horse, James,” she finally, flatly, pointedly, said after a few moments. “You know that that’s a horse right?”


“I’m very aware that she’s a pony, yes,” James said with a confident nod.


Rachel nodded in turn. There was still no laughter, no joke. As far as she could tell this… whatever it was, was really happening. She went silent again, trying to process the madness that was happening before her.


During this lull of conversation, the pony unfurled its other wing and wrapped it around James’s front, effectively encasing the young man in a feathery cocoon. It almost seemed like a possessive act as Rachel watched it, like the pony was marking James as its property and it wanted her to know it in no uncertain terms.


Though the pony looked as calm as it had since the moment that Rachel had entered the room, she saw a glint in its eyes as it pulled her boyfriend toward itself. A glint that she didn’t very much care for. “I'm afraid what he says is true, my dear,” the pony said, its voice as light and as lasting as a bell. “I’ve taken him as my mate.”


Rachel’s eye twitched again as the pony wrapped its hooves around James and pulled him into its lap. Not keeping its eyes off of her, it nuzzled the back of his neck, much to James’s delight.


In any other situation such a sight would have given her a heart attack. But now? Now she wanted to grab a broom and chase this horse out of their apartment to wherever it had come from.


“...You’ve taken him as your mate?”


The pony nodded, resting its head on her boyfriend’s shoulder. Its mane, floating through the air as if caught up in some gentle breeze, flowing on either side of James’s head. James squirmed as those flowing, rainbow-colored hairs tickled his neck and cheeks, looking like he was nearly ready to burst with laughter, but the pony made sure to hold onto him tight.


“Yes. After speaking to him for a good length of time and listening to him talk about himself and his place and duty in this world, I decided that it was my duty to take him as my mate.”


“But you’re a horse!” Rachel snapped.


The pony’s wings tightened around James as it nuzzled his neck. James sighed at the contact, a small smile working its way onto his face as he wiggled deeper into its embrace.


“Though I understand your frustration there really is no need for name-calling my dear,” the pony, a mare if Rachel wasn’t mistaken, said, eyes narrowing slightly. “I sincerely hope that you aren’t this rude to other ponies that you meet.”


“She kinda is,” James piped up before she could open her mouth, leaning against his new mate. "But not to ponies per say, since I don't think she's ever met a talking pony before. It's more of a generalization of her not liking to talk to any new people really..."


Rachel’s eyes narrowed in a way that would have given Lucifer himself pause. “James… I swear to god…”


She took a few steps toward the new, inseparable couple, her fists clutched in indignation. Blowing a bit of her hair out of her face she opened her mouth to start yelling.


What the heck was wrong with him? Why had he let this… thing into their house? Why hadn’t he called the cops when he first saw it? Where did he get off saying that she was rude? She wasn’t rude! She was friendly! Nice even! Just because she wasn’t a stupid postman who talked to everyone every day didn’t mean that she was some sort of people-hating banshee!


These thoughts caused her to stand to her full height. She puffed her chest out and sucked in a lungful of air through her nose. “James, get your butt—”


All of the sudden, the tip of the pony’s horn glowed. Before Rachel could take another step, an invisible force lifted her into the air like she was a rag doll.


"W-What the--?!"


Rachel’s eyes widened hugely as she felt herself become completely weightless in the span of half a second. She looked down at her feet, too shocked to yell or scream, to see that the same golden glow around the pony’s horn was around her body.


With a less-than-pleased sniffle the pony flicked its head, sending her gently floating back a few feet. “I’d very much appreciate it if you did not come toward the two of us in such a threatening manner, please,” the pony very politely, but very firmly, asked as she set the dazed and confused girl back down. “While I do not consider myself a very violent mare, I will not hesitate to boop you viciously to protect my stallion if you force me to.”


James’s smile seemed to light up the room for a few moments as he looked up at the mare. “Aw, thanks hon~”


As the two nuzzled Rachel looked around the room, blinking owlishly. There was no one else in the room as far as she could tell. She heard no breathing or giggling. She hadn’t eaten or drank anything unusual today so she wasn’t seeing things. James still hadn’t told her that this was a joke yet.


If one would have listened very closely, they might have heard something snap inside the young woman. Something that probably shouldn't have snapped.


“Your stallion…? Your STALLION?! HIM?!” she snarled, pointing a finger at the man in question.


“Yes him,” the pony answered. “He’s wonderful, thoughtful, and might I add handsome young stallion.”


“Handsome young…? HE’S A WEIRDO THAT COLLECTS STAMPS AND BASEBALL CARDS!”


“Hey now...” James muttered, sinking into the pony’s warm, comforting embrace, trying to shield himself from the unexpected verbal lashing. “There’s nothing weird about collecting stamps and baseball cards. A lot of people do it. Tons of people.”


“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your hobby, dear,” the pony reassured, quickly yanking Rachel into the air once again as the now furious woman stomped toward the two. “In fact I find it rather endearing.”


“It’s not endearing, it’s useless and stupid!” Rachel snapped, by this point absolutely seething. “James, tell this horse or pony or whatever the hell it is to let me down right now!”


“See? I told you that she was one heck of a grump,” James grumbled, his brow furrowing.


“I can see that,” the pony commented, eyeing Rachel with a hint distaste. “It’s honestly beyond me why another human mare hasn’t come and tried to snatch you out of this harpy’s clutches…”


“HARPY?! EXCUSE YO—” Before Rachel could finish her sentence pressure was applied to the tip of her nose. As if some unknown power had taken control of her, her eyes crossed and her body went rigid.


The pony, staring at her with dangerously narrowed eyes, huffed. “Shame on you, young lady. Can’t you see that you are distressing this poor stallion?” she chastised, shaking her head. “After all that you’ve done to him can you honestly—”


A very unladylike snort escaped Rachel's lips. "James," she growled with a vigorous shake of the head, too upset to question what had just happened. "Tell. This. Horse. To. Put. Me. Down. Now."


Both the pony and her boyfriend looked at each other. The pony leaned forward and nuzzled James's brow, whispering something into his ear that made him smile. She then turned her attention back to her, eyes narrowed and a frown on her face.


“I’m sure that your mother taught you better than this,” she proclaimed, disappointment and anger clear in its voice, before her horn glowed even brighter.


Once again Rachel's eyes crossed and her body seized up as the pressure once again appeared on the top of her nose. She couldn't move, no matter how hard she tried to thrash about, she could barely think, the only thing that she could really do was wait for it, whatever it was, to be over. It was like she wasn’t even in control of her body anymore. She was powerless, helpless, and if the situation she found herself in wasn’t so unbelievable she might have even been afraid.


The sensation on her nose was held for a few more moments, though to her it felt like an eternity, before it all of the sudden disappeared. The second that it was gone, Rachel’s body went limp and her nose scrunched up hard.


“Wha…. What did you do to me?” she mumbled, shaking her head again.


“I believe I made my stance on booping very clear,” the pony responded, her voice like cold steel. “Now I would suggest that you calm yourself before I am forced you boop you a third time.”


“You better do as she says, Rach,” James advised, obviously amused. “She’ll boop you senseless if she has to. Past senselessness even.”


Once again Rachel found herself standing on her two feet as the pony gently sat her down. The moment that her feet touched the floor she took a few steps back, eyeing the pony warily. The pony just stared back at her calmly, a small smile on her face.


For a few moments no one said anything. The room was completely, absolutely silent, and in that silence Rachel took a long, hard look at the situation. Here she was, having just come home from her job at the bank, to find that her boyfriend had been stolen by some talking horse that had mind powers and the ability to make her body stop working by just touching her nose. It was a lot to take in for anyone, and if she was being honest with herself she didn’t feel properly equipped to handle a situation like this. But that didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to try.


“JAM—” she stopped herself, taking a deep breath. She couldn’t start yelling again. Yelling wasn’t going to help her. She needed to be logical about this. She needed to think things through. She needed to show her boyfriend how absolutely, totally, completely idiotic he was being.


“James, honey, I want you to think about this,” she said as gently as she could, fixing her blouse. “We’ve been together for two years. We share an apartment together. We sleep in the same bed. I know everything about you and you know everything about me.” She jammed a thumb to the pony. “How long has this pony known you?”


“About five hours," James answered without hesitation. “Give or take.”


“FIVE HOU—” Rachel bit her lip hard. Closing her eyes, she took a few deep breaths. “Five hours?” she asked, almost, but not quite, able to keep the anger out of her voice.


“That is correct,” the pony said with a nod. “While I was working on a spell there was an accident. A rift was opened up and I happened to fall into it.”


“She ended up landing right on top of me,” James added, snuggling deeper into the pony's wings. “Scared the crap out of me.”


Rachel’s face contorted. This. This was why her mom kept telling her to dump this dummy. “Ano—”


“While I was leery at first James here has been a very kind, very informative host,” the pony interrupted, sighing dreamingly. “And I, personally, find him very fetching, both on the outside and on the inside. I also especially appreciate his taste in clothing. ”


“See? She likes my t-shirt, Rach,” James said, with just a hint of smugness.


Rachel tried to keep herself calm. She tried to remember the breathing exercises that she had heard about on TV. She tried to think of happier things. She even attempted to push through her rage with sheer, overwhelming willpower. But she failed. She failed very badly in fact.


SHE’S A HORSE!!” she roared, seeing red. “YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT DATING A HORSE, JAMES. YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT LEAVING ME FOR AN ANIMAL THAT YOU MET FIVE FREAKING HOURS AGO!


That seemed to give James pause. A frown came to his face and his brow scrunched up thoughtfully. He looked down at his feathery prison. He then looked at the gently smiling pony holding him closely against her chest. He finally looked over at Rachel herself, those green eyes of his clear and focused. She could see the gears in his mind churning. He was finally starting to think things through.


Though she could still feel anger burning in her belly, she couldn’t help but sigh in relief. He was going to see how ridiculous he was being. He was going to get away from that creature and call the cops so that they could take it away.


After all of this nonsense was over they were going to need to have a long talk but they’d get through it together. Everything was going to be fine. Everything was going to be—


“You know what…? I think I’ll see how this whole thing plays out,” James said with a nod.


Rachel smiled. “Fantastic. Now why don’t you get away from that thing and—” She stopped. “Wait… what did you just say?”


“I think I’m gonna try something new, Rach,” James told her, smiling. “Even though I don’t know Celestia here all that well, we’ve been doing a lot of talking since she came here and she seems like a really sweet gal that I’d really like to get to know a little bit better.”


The pony, now named Celestia, quietly hummed as James leaned back against her. She looked happy with the young man’s response, delighted even. You could see the happiness light up those big expressive eyes of hers. You could see it in the way that she wiggled on the couch as she held James as tight as she could against her. This alien, this pony, with her wings and her horn and her magical mane and tail, looked like she had just won a stunning victory and was about to shout it to the heavens.


Rachel, on the other hand, was not feeling all that happy. In fact, one might say that she was shattered. Not because she was just dumped. She had been dumped before, by better men she might add, but she had never felt this confused or angry or any of the other dozen emotions that were making her breathing shallow and her ears ring. No, she was shattered because she had been dumped for a horse. A horse!


Placing a shaking hand against her tight chest, she took a step forward. “Y-You… you,” she began, not able to find the right words. Taking a few more shallow breaths, she tried again “You want to take e-everything they w-we’ve built together and throw it all away for some b-barnyard animal?”


“I am not a barnyard animal. I am a princess thank you very much!” Princess Celestia said indignantly, her chest puffing out. “And while there’s no need to refer to me by my title I insist that I be given at least an iota of respect!”


Rachel was about to yell once more but pressure came back to her nose, leaving her speechless for an instant before the pressure disappeared. Sputtering, she took a few hasty steps backward.


“I can’t believe that you’re doing this! What are people going to say?” she demanded with a stomp of her foot. “What about your parents, James? What are they gonna say when they find out that their weirdo son is going out with a talking pony?!”


Holding her new mate just a bit tighter, Celestia chuckled. “I’m afraid that your words no longer hold any sway with James here, my dear” she proclaimed with a shake of her head. “I have taken him from you with my marely prowess and my pretty wings and my kisses!”


Rachel tried to take a step forward, only to be driven back by another magical boop. She tried once more, only to be driven back in a similar way.


“I have heard what your people’s females do to your stallions. How you expect so much without any in return. Your coldness, your arrogance. And that isn’t even the tip of the iceberg if what James has been telling me has even a spark of truth.”


“Urk! Will you stop—Erk! STOP POKING MY—ACK! STOP IT!”


“I had thought to simply leave this world unmolested but I cannot suffer the cruelty, the injustice of this place.” Celestia’s eyes narrowed as she gave James another nuzzle. “Your people need companionship, love, but most of all you need friendship. I and my little ponies will teach you these lessons. We will love and cuddle all of you; every single one I say!”


Rachel looked over at James. Even as she was being driven back by a force that she didn’t totally understand a part of her was still waiting for the joke. Oh, if he’d start laughing now she’d dump him in a heartbeat, punch him as hard as she could, and throw his crazy butt out onto the street where he belonged for taking it this far, but a small, small part of her still thought that this was all some sort of extremely elaborate prank.


But there was no joke. This was happening. This was happening and she was a part of it.


“Now, if you’ll excuse us, James and I really must get back to watching this magical box and eating these delightful carrot chips and these or-e-os,” Celestia continued as she drove Rachel toward the door. “Goodbye, young filly. May harmony shine upon you and lead you toward the right path.”


“I SWEAR TO—URK! I’M GOING TO CALL THE COPS AND—ERK! AND THEY’RE GOING TO COME HERE AND DRAG—EEP! YOU TO THE NEAREST GLUE FACTORY YOU—


The front door to their apartment opened up behind her as Rachel staggered backward. As dazed and as cross-eyed as she had become, she didn’t notice that she had stepped out into the hallway until the door was gently closed in her face. The second that the door was closed it was also locked, the sharp clicking sound cutting through the otherwise content silence of that hallway. Holding her nose, Rachel righted herself just as two big bags, filled to the brim with what looked like clothing, appeared in front of the door.


She stared at these bags, breathing hard, then at the door. A thousand thoughts ran through her head, some of them angry, some of them upset, but most of them being of the furious category. Many of these thoughts, if enacted, would land her in a bit of trouble, and others… more so. But, as said before, Rachel wasn’t the type to let the heat of the moment sweep her up.


Her ex-boyfriend wanted to dump her for some barnyard animal? Fine. She could have someone better than him by the end of the week. She could find twice the man. A man among men. A man that men wanted to be and women wanted to be with.


With that thought in mind she walked over, bent down, and grabbed her bags with a huff, and did her best to pick up what was left of her pride. “I JUST WANT YOU TO REMEMBER THAT YOU DUMPED ME FOR A HORSE, JAMES!” she yelled, not caring who would hear. “YOU LOST THE BEST THING IN YOUR LIFE FOR SOME FURRY ANIMAL!”


Neither James nor Celestia responded to her shouting, but pressing her head against the door and hearing quiet, happy laughter through the door told her that her words didn’t bother the two all that much.

Next Chapter: They're in Our Flower Shops! Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 6 Minutes
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