Author's Notes:

Bit of a rushed chapter. I'm not going to be able to write for the next couple weeks and I wanted to give you guys something to hold you over until I get back. I'll still have my shitty laptop, so I'll be able to answer your comments.

Monster is as Monster Does is now open for crossovers. However, I intend to be rather picky about what type of characters Jekyll runs into. That doesn't mean I want him to be stronger than anyone else he meets, just that they are a good fit. Such as how Jekyll wouldn't want anything to do with any of the Ben 10's as he would fear that they would accidentally release a cloud of Redlight or something.

Kinda song spammed a bit in this chapter, they aren't particularly important. More for effect, really.

“Jay, I’ve been wondering about something. What was that bet you made with Tia? Luna asked from the top of Abaddon’s head, I was sitting a few feet away with my feet dangling off the edge.

“Oh shit, I forgot about that. I’ll have to make it up to her for being late,” I commented.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Luna pointed out.

“I owe you sister dinner,” I answered simply.

“You woe is me. I believed that you heart belonged to me when it hath been claimed by mine sister. Oh, how could you betray me so?” Luna cried dramatically.

“You’re hilarious.”

“I think I’m adorable,” Luna said, pouting.

“You lost the ability to call yourself ‘adorable’ last night,” I commented.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she challenged.

“The pod doesn’t cover your head,” I pointed out, Luna went rigid and Abaddon had to catch her before she slid sideways off his head, “Fortunately for you, I’m the only one here who would make fun of you for it.”

“Twelve. Hours,” Abaddon announced with his main head, he didn’t bother to catch me as I toppled off.

“I stand corrected,” I admitted once I had returned to my previous position, finding a secondary head forming next to a recovering Luna.

“My apologies ma’am, Tzu tells me it is impolite to mention the needs of breeders. Particularly at that volume,” Abaddon apologized.

“Breeders, really?” I asked, never having heard this term before and finding it distasteful.

“Tzu tells me it is a term the enforcers use to distinguish themselves from the other species. They breed and we do not,” Abaddon continued, evidently not noticing my clawed toes digging into his neck.

“Tell Tzu that I don’t like it. As far as I can tell, it’s no better than them calling us monsters.”

“He asks if it will be forbidden or treated like spook shaming. Now I’m sad, I will never be able to play this game,” Abaddon replied, his main head drooping. Luna and I would be in danger of falling if we weren’t attached, me by my claws and her by Abaddon sinking her hooves into his flesh.

“I don’t want to hear it again, he can interpret that however he wants. As for your ability to spook, I’ll have to share my orbital bombardment idea with Tzu,” I commented.

“Orbital?” Luna asked, freed from her stupor by the mention of space.

“Just a term in this case. You see, I was trying to think of how to field Abaddon. Yeah I could just march him straight at the enemy, but that’s boring, there’s no creativity to it. So I decided it would be a ton of fun to have a bunch of Romeos drop him on them,” I explained, I was stopped from explaining further by a number of enforcers landing on Abaddon’s main section.

“Sir, you wanted to speak with us?” one of them said. I turned to look at the new arrivals, finding one of each division standing in formation. Including one type I didn’t recognize but assumed to be a Sierra.

“Whoever told you that has turned traitor, kill them immediately. Sierra, you stay,” I ordered casually, the others taking flight immediately.

“How can I help you, sir?” the Sierra asked.

“Based on who you came here with, I assume you are Sierra-one-one?” The enforcer nodded proudly. “Excellent, I’ve been working my way through this on my own but I want your division working on it as well.”

The Sierra accepted my offered tendril and paused as he considered the new information, “Intriguing, may we have access to the tokens as well?”

“Yes, but I want them under guard at all times. Put Gamma-seven on it, they could use the exercise.”

“Permission to relocate Sierra division to Abaddon?” Sierra-one-one asked.

“That’s right, you’re still new to being a division captain. You don’t need my permission to move your division around. So long as you get your job done, I don’t care where they’re based out of,” I clarified for the new captain.

“Understood, sir,” Sierra-one-one said, taking flight.

“Who were those enforcers, were they important?” Luna asked.

“They’re in charge of the different divisions, as little as that means,” I explained.

“Will they have any issues with the rogue enforcers?” I took a couple moments to think about how to answer Luna’s question, eventually deciding to tell her the truth.

“No, they won’t. I created a cure for the Redlight virus a long time ago. It’s useless as a protective measure against the disease however, it acts too quickly. But if you were to give it to an enforcer, they would wither and die in seconds,” I answered nervously, this was our biggest weakness and we didn’t like to talk about it.

“And what effect would it have on you?” Luna pressed, her eyes wide as she realized the trust I was placing in her.

“The same, at the genetic level-” I began.

“We are almost in range of Canterlot, sir,” Abaddon interrupted, forming a secondary head next to me. ‘Thank you.’

“Excellent, it’s about time we got back to work,” I said, walking over to stand next to Luna.

“What work? Is there anything left to do but wait for something to happen?” Luna asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

“Aren’t you supposed to hold court? And control the moon?” I countered.

“It isn’t work if nopony shows up.”

“You had to phrase it like that, didn’t you? You intentionally excluded me because you know I’m going to be there,” I accused.

“Yes, my friend, I know you won’t leave me to face the night alone, but I still feel useless. What’s the point of having a night court if it isn’t used?”

“Give it time, they’ll come around. Until then I’ll bring some Gammas and we can work on that dodge roll thing you seem so fond of,” I suggested.

A fine idea, should I bring the pod as well? May as well go all out if you intend to recreate our vacation in my courtroom,” Luna replied sarcastically.

“Don’t you get snippy with me, young lady. I’m only trying to help,” I chided.

“I know, and I thank you for it. Speaking of the pod, thank you again for that, I’ve felt so refreshed and clean every morning since you gave it to me,” Luna replied, puzzling me.

“It shouldn’t do anything like that. Abaddon, bring me the cocoon, I need to inspect it,” I ordered, the foot end of the cocoon rose out of Abaddon’s head a moment later. I sent a tendril into it and was surprised by what I found, “Okay, it makes sense now.”

“What is it?” Luna asked, concerned.

“I miscalculated how much intelligence to give it, as such it’s interpreted my command to do what you say as an order to take care of you. It has been monitoring your vitals and cleaning you in your sleep, then using the grime to grow itself,” I explained.

“Define cleaning me. As a shower would or how you extracted the poison that paralyzed me?” Luna pressed.

“Both, you’ve been getting regular detoxifications every night and had every grain of sand picked out of your coat,” I clarified.

“Send it my thanks, I haven’t felt this good in years.”

“If I had it cover your head you wouldn’t need to shower or brush your mane,” I pointed out.

“That would be quite convenient, please do so.”

“Alright, I’ll add some bio-lights and make it all around larger while I’m at it, you could read in here if you wanted to,” I added, making the desired adjustments to the cocoon.

“What about storage?”

“Storage?”

“Yes, storage space inside the pod. Could you add that as well?”

“Abaddon, confiscate Luna’s toy. I suspect she’s becoming addicted to it,” I ordered the leviathan’s head on Luna’s other side.

“You don’t need to do that! I was talking about books, I swear,” Luna cried in an attempt to retract her request.

“Right. Be good and I’ll give it back. I’ve added some more biomass and increased its intelligence to the level of an enforcer. This thing won’t just keep you safe anymore, if you’re attacked in your sleep the cocoon will fight them off and return to Abaddon by itself,” I added.

“Won’t that make it vulnerable to the suppression drug?” Luna asked, looking at the exposed part of the cocoon fearfully.

“It always was, but I doubt that will be an issue. It’s surprisingly devoted to you,” I said, with a sideways glance at the sentient shell.

“How is that surprising, you seem rather devoted to me as well,” Luna pointed out.

“You’re my best friend, this cocoon however is going beyond the call of duty.”

“Explain,” Luna ordered, her gaze alternating between the cocoon and myself.

“Abaddon, tell Luna why you’re protecting her,” I ordered.

“Lord Jekyll has designated you as a protected individual, any threat to your life will have to get through every leviathan and enforcer first,” Abaddon answered dramatically.

“Gamma squad, why are you protecting Luna,” I called to a nearby group of the aforementioned enforcers.

“She is a protected individual, we will kill and die in her defense,” they answered in unison.

“Pod, I’ve given you the ability to speak. Tell Luna why you protect her,” I commanded the cocoon.

“I lament our inability to love, for that would be the word that I would use. Your protection and comfort will be my only concern in this world for as long as it shall last because you are the reason I exist. Lord Jekyll was not completely correct in his assessment either. I was just a lowly cocoon when he gave me to you, but you gave me the biomass to increase my intelligence. I owe you everything for your sacrifice,” the cocoon professed. I removed the pod’s ability to speak before it could continue, Canterlot was coming into sight.

“Jay, was the pod feeding on me?” Luna asked, horrified. I leaned back to ensure she wasn’t missing any pieces.

“Doesn’t look like it. Though if I were to hazard a guess, I’d say it was consuming discarded material: hair, fur, skin cells, things like that,” I speculated.

“Oh, I see. Nothing to worry about then. But if it is as intelligent as you say, shouldn’t it get a name?”

“You can name it if you want, hell, you can name them all if you want to and can tell them apart,” I declared.

“I think I would like to name this one. What would you suggest?” Luna asked.

“Cocoon and friends?”

“No.”

“Raaaa!” I toned while pointing at Luna.

“That isn’t a name.”

“Fine, how about Podrick,” I suggested, thinking about all the puns I could make.

“It will do,” Luna said slowly, nodding shortly afterwards, “Podrick it is.”

“Great. You can put it back now, Abaddon.” Podrick sunk back into Abaddon’s flesh. “We’re almost there, care to fly the rest of the way?”

“I suppose we should, if we’re going to catch Tia before she closes the day court,” Luna said with an evil smirk to match my own. We reached Canterlot a minute later and the balcony closest to the courtroom a minute after that. I could see Luna struggling not to run ahead of me.

“Go ahead, but don’t say anything about the bet,” I whispered, Luna happily trotted off to greet her sister. I kept my pace casual as I walked into the courtroom, striding past the assembled ponies as Celestia raised an eyebrow at my unexpected arrival.

“Excuse me Sir Fancy Pants, but I should deal with this. Guards, seize him!” Celestia shouted, none of the guards moved. This had become our standard greeting over the years.

“Fuck you too, Chelly,” I said irritably. The other half of the greeting.

“What do you want now?” Celestia demanded.

“Three hundred years ago I accused you of not moving the sun. We made a bet that if I was right, you were to surrender Equestria to me and live out the rest of your days in Tartarus. But if you were right, I would owe you dinner. I still do not understand why that was your request,” I announced to the court, reforming my torso and arms to add a black tuxedo with a blood red undershirt. I didn’t bother with the slacks.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” Celestia asked, incredulous.

“You set the terms of the wager, I’m just here to make good on my word.”

“No, get out.”

“Not good enough, Chelly. Either I buy you dinner or I serenade you all night long with the songs of my people,” I said in the sweetest tone I could manage.

“Trust me Tia, you don’t want that option. I tried to sleep in one day and he started singing about tigers and the thrill of fighting,” Luna warned.

“He didn’t let you sleep in on your own vacation?” Celestia asked, glaring at me.

“It was a working vacation,” we chorused.

“Fine. It is about time that I adjourned for the day anyway, I trust you have something lined up,” she said expectantly.

“How do you feel about stir fry?”

“That new fad I’ve heard the guards talking about? It sounds...messy,” Celestia commented distastefully.

“It’s noodles on a plate, it’s only messy if you suck at eating noodles,” I deadpanned.

“Mind if I tag along, Jay? I’m suddenly curious about this ’stir fry,’” Luna asked, already walking towards the doors.

“The more the merrier, one of you lot drop your disguise and fetch Tzu. He knows the place,” I said to no one, casually waving an arm towards a section of guards. One of them, to the horror of the others, shifted into a Gamma and flew out a nearby window.

Celestia tisked in disappointment, “The purpose of assassins is to not be exposed before they can kill me.”

“Sister, that was one of the guard variety. Jay added them into your guards at my request,” Luna rebuked before I could say anything. Celestia followed Luna and I as we walked to the main entrance to the castle.

“What?” Celestia hissed, “You surrounded me with monsters and didn’t have the decency to tell me before you went gallivanting off with your pet.”

“How do you know about Podrick?” Luna asked in confusion.

“She means me. Also, Podrick isn’t a pet, it’s a bed,” I pointed out.

“And you’ve taken a lover as well, what would mother think?” Celestia accused.

“Podrick is a semi-sentient cocoon, it acts as a bed, personal fortress and shower. It could hardly be called a lover,” I explained before Luna could incriminate herself further.

“Shower?” Celestia asked, eyeing Luna’s coat, “You do seem shinier than when you left.”

“A simplified explanation, I’ll tell you the specifics in a more private setting,” Luna said tersely, her patience wearing thin.

“I see. It concerns me how friendly you’ve gotten with these monsters, letting them touch you in your sleep,” Celestia said with a shiver.

“They are not-” Luna began angrily.

“It’s fine,” I interrupted, “I learned a long time ago that I wouldn’t change anything by getting angry.”

“But it isn’t right! You’ve done so much for so many, you don’t deserve to be disrespected like this.”

“As if this vile creature could do anything besides spread misery,” Celestia spat.

“Now you’re trying to pick a fight,” I pointed out, “Luna, my people had a saying to counter people like this, ‘I don’t believe in trolls.’ You just say that to every hateful thing they say.”

“How childish,” Celestia commented.

“I don’t believe in trolls,” I countered.

“Stop it, you cretin,” Celestia said, an annoyed tone entering her voice

“~I don’t believe in trolls,” Luna sang.

“Luna I forbid you from spending any more time with this monster, it is obviously corrupting your mind,” Celestia commanded.

“That will be difficult to do,” Luna commented, turning away to hide her smile.

“Why is that?” Celestia asked heatedly.

“Jay has offered me a room onboard Abaddon, one of the reasons I have returned to the castle is to gather my belongings,” Luna mentioned casually.

Celestia refused to speak until we reached the restaurant.

“Are you making fun of me?” Luna asked, looking at the restaurant’s sign.

“Honestly, I hadn’t thought about it. Wish they would spell it right, though,” I answered.

“The Moon Walk,” Celestia said blankly.

“Yeah, it’s supposed to be wok, w-o-k, the type of pan they cook the food in. I think they’re spelling it wrong just to mess with me,” I commented.

“You seem to know quite a bit about this, Jay. Methinks you have a deeper history with this particular dining establishment,” Luna speculated.

“You could say that, at least I don’t own this one,” I said vaguely, they’d find out soon enough.

I was met with glares by the staff as we entered, the most hateful coming from the mare behind the counter.

“You actually going to pay me this time?” the mare shouted from across the restaurant.

“When have I ever failed to pay for my meals?” I countered, matching her tone.

“You haven’t yet, but I know you’re just trying to get my guard down. And then, BAM, dined and dashed,” the paranoid unicorn exclaimed.

“Ease up Ivy, it’s Jay,” a bored voice growled from the back room.

“Ladies, let me introduce you to Ivy Star, the most shrewd business owner you will ever meet. The one in the back is Anton, the chef,” I said, stepping aside so the two diarchs could enter the building.

“Nopony eats for free, not even our esteemed rulers,” Ivy declared, unfazed by the presence of royalty.

“I’m done with this ridiculous charade,” Celestia announced as she turned and left. Luna and I shared a hoof/fist bump.

An annoyed diamond dog stepped out of the back room to glower at Ivy, “Another one? You can’t keep scaring off the customers, you keep this up and there won’t be anyone left. Then what are we gonna do?”

“I know, but we’ve been stolen from six times already. I don’t know what else to do,” Ivy replied, abashed.

“Not to interrupt, but is it cool if we grab my regular spot?” I asked gingerly.

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll bring you some menus in a minute,” Anton replied, waving a paw at the referenced table. Luna and I took our seats at a corner table specifically placed so that its occupants could see the rest of the patrons while remaining as far away as possible.

“Odd relationship between those two,” Luna gossiped.

“Like ours?” I asked.

“Not as dramatic, but they are definitely close. What’s their story?” Luna asked.

“Anton got wrapped up with a slaving party, took a liking to one of the captives. Eventually decided to bust her out, that’s when I ran into them. I was killing my way through the lot of them and ran into Anton protecting Ivy from a bunch of other dogs.”

“What happened next?” Luna pressed, a wistful look on her face.

“Ivy got in the way before I could kill Anton, so I escorted them out and interrogated them. Six months later I presided over their wedding,” I concluded.

“Details, Jay,” Luna urged, leaning in.

“I’ve said too much already, it isn’t my story to tell. Go talk to Anton if you want more, he’s actually the friendlier one,” I said, leaning back against the reinforced chair.

“How convenient, here he comes now.”

“Here’re some menus, anything to drink in the meantime?” the dog asked, pulling out a pad and comically small pencil.

“Not at the moment. Though I have some questions, if you don’t mind,” Luna requested, gesturing at an empty chair.

“Not at all, princess. I only have a couple minutes though, need to get back to the kitchen,” Anton replied, sliding into the offered seat.

“Before you two start gossiping about Anton’s love life, how are you and Ivy able to afford employees?” I asked.

“Gryphons and minotaurs are attracted to strong females, we were doing pretty well until most of our customer base up and left. Now it’s all we can do to keep them on the payroll,” Anton explained sadly.

“That actually leads into my first question, you are rather well spoken for a diamond dog,” Luna observed.

“I’ve always been more talkative, but Ivy has a lot to do with it as well.”

“How do the two of you…” Luna began, whispering. Anton stiffened at the personal question.

“Jesus, Lu, we’re in public. I’m sorry Anton, you don’t have to answer that. Luna is still trying to figure out who she is,” I said quietly while facepalming.

“It’s...fine? I suppose the simplest answer is that we don’t. I’m not comfortable explaining any further. I need to get back to the kitchen,” Anton said, standing up.

“Could you get a bottle sent over here? I’m thinking red tonight,” I requested, Anton nodded before hurrying off.

“I crossed a line, didn’t I?” Luna asked, her ears drooping in shame.

“It’s partially my fault, I exposed you to Lucky. She is the worst possible point of reference for this kind of thing,” I apologized.

“That is no excuse. I fear I have lost a possible friend to this mishap,” Luna continued, her head threatening to droop all the way to the table.

“Heard you were talkin’ shit,” Ivy said from next to us, causing us both to jump. I’d been so concerned for Luna that I hadn’t heard her approach. Now that she wasn’t behind the counter, we could see that she was wearing a skirt and leggings.

“I owe you and Anton an apology, I was curious and asked an inappropriate question,” Luna explained sadly.

“Oh, I already know.” Luna flinched. “But I can see that you didn’t mean anything by it, I’ll give you a taste of what Anton was saying.” Ivy pulled the legging on her left foreleg up to the knee, exposing a furless patchwork of scars and dents in her flesh.

“My word, I’m so sorry,” Luna whispered, not wanting to reveal the mare’s condition to the world.

“It’s alright, I came to grips with it a long time ago,” Ivy replied, showing a gentleness I had never seen before.

“May I ask what happened?” Luna inquired, unable to look away from Ivy’s uncovered leg.

“Mean ass alpha liked hearing me scream. He started with my tail, cut the damn thing off an inch at a time. When he ran out of tail, he chained me to the ceiling and watched me squirm,” Ivy explained.

“Jay?”

“He was working on his new toy when I found him. So I peeled his skin off and left him on his own rack,” I answered, a malicious tone forming as I remembered the sight.

“I went back and found the body, that sight lulls me to sleep every night. I wish you had been there a few weeks earlier though,” Ivy added.

“Me too,” I said, Luna looked confused. I snaked a tendril into her ear and spoke through it, “Messed up legs won’t prohibit sex, that son of a bitch took an ax to her.”

Luna curled defensively before lunging out of her chair and wrapping her hooves around the scarred mare.

“I’m so sorry,” Luna sobbed quietly, still attracting the attention of the other customers. I waved them off and they took the hint to return to their food.

“What could you have done? As I understand it, you were possessed and imprisoned at the time,” Ivy said in an attempt to comfort the diarch that was currently crying on her.

“Perhaps not then, but I can do something about this now,” Luna declared, rising to her hooves.

“I’ve been to the hospital, they couldn’t do anything for me,” Ivy countered. Luna closed her eyes, tears still rolling out the sides.

“They. Were not. ME,” she cried, spreading her wings and opening her eyes revealing them to be shining with a black light. ‘How? Nope, I’m marking this down as something not to question.’

Runes began to appear in the air as Ivy lifted off the ground, her leggings and skirt unraveling into the bare threads they were formed from. Anton rushed out of the kitchen but was stopped from intervening by a tendril wrapping around his chest and holding him in place. The other customers attempted to force themselves through the opposite wall, finding it to be made of stronger materials than they were.

A flash of darkness filled the room and Ivy floated back to the ground a second later, staring at her healed legs in wonder. Even her coat and tail had grown back.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. Luna sat down, exhausted, and found herself the recipient of a hug from Ivy.

“And that is alicorn level healing magic, I hope you were taking notes,” I said sarcastically to the rest of the restaurant. I released Anton and he proceeded to wrap his long arms around both Luna and Ivy.

“I feel the need to lie down, I haven’t used that much magic at once in a long time. May we get our food to go?” Luna requested weakly.

“Of course, what would you like?” Anton replied.

“I never actually looked at the menu, I suppose I will have to go with your recommendation.”

“Same for me. Also, one of my enforcers should be by any minute now, you can give the bill to him. He’ll get you squared away,” I added. Anton almost sprinted back to the kitchen, eager to thank the one who had healed his wife in the only way he knew how.

Once we had our food we thanked the couple and made our way to Abaddon. However, Luna was weaker than she thought and needed me to carry her up to Abaddon’s back. Thankfully, Luna didn’t have much further to go as Abaddon moved Podrick into our path and Luna climbed inside without comment, allowing Abaddon to carry her directly to an empty room.

I went the long way, eventually reaching the room where Luna and Podrick were located.

“Knock, knock,” I said as I strolled into the room. Podrick peeled away to reveal Luna’s head.

“Have you ever smelled anything so glorious?” Luna asked. In response I extended the third arm I had been holding the food with over my shoulder and set it next to her head.

“That’s why I like stir fry.”

“I can’t reach it,” she pouted tiredly, attempting to bite at the bag.

“Burnout?” I asked idly as I unpacked our dinner.

“Yeah, it’s only a minor case, but I’ll be without magic until tomorrow,” she replied.

“That sucks. Yo Abby, stool me.” A stool formed a few feet away. “Over here, jackass.”

“What are you doing?” Luna asked, eyeing the placement of the stool.

“How do you plan on eating?” I countered.

“I was-oh. You intend to feed me then,” Luna assumed.

“Let’s not make this anymore awkward than it needs to be,” I said, rolling a fork full of noodles and spices.

“I agree, let’s keep this professional, and thank you.”

“Here comes the choo choo train.”

“I rescind my statement. Go fuck yourself.” After a few minutes of this we were almost done with the plate.

“Feeling better?” I asked, grabbing the last bit of noodles. Luna stopped me, her face rapidly turning a shade of red.

“Jay, something’s wrong. I feel warm,” she said, looking at the fork fearfully. I took the bite in her stead and examined the different components.

“Are you allergic to wheat?” I inquired.

“That’s breads, right? No, I’m not.”

“Peppers?”

“No.”

“Ah, here it is. Anton added some ember bay leaves,” I concluded, discerning the dosage Luna had consumed.

“I recognize that herb! It’s a poison, get it out!” Luna cried, beginning to thrash in her cocoon.

“Relax, the dosage isn’t high enough to hurt you. It seems Anton wasn’t as offended as you thought,” I replied, calming Luna down as she considered my words.

“And what will this much do to me?” she pressed.

“I recognize this amount from my time in some of the more shady regions of the world, it’s used as a recreational drug. Expect your senses to go into overdrive over the course of the next few minutes, should be pretty fun,” I explained.

“I can see you, you are moving. Always moving, even when you don’t, you are-NO, I must keep a level head. How long will I be like this?” Luna asked, fighting for lucidity.

“An hour or two, just let it take you for a ride. They like this herb because it doesn’t mess up your life, you can’t get addicted,” I continued, opening the pod and placing Luna’s forehooves on my shoulders. I lifted her out and set her hind legs on the floor, then I formed and spread my wings. I began the slowest song I could think of and started to dance. Abaddon moved walls out of our way as needed, I wasn’t paying much attention to where we were. My focus was on a stoned Luna, who watched the world spin around her in wonder.

However, all things must end, and at the end of the song I set Luna back in Podrick to get her bearings.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Abaddon thought I was a good girl,” Luna giggled in response.

“You can do that, OR, you can watch me keep Chelly awake for a few hours. Also, no magic,” I offered, adding some biomass to her horn to be safe.

“Hehe, I wanna watch Tia be mad at you,” Luna exclaimed with the grace of a toddler.

“Okay, Podrick, seal her up. Abaddon, have a squad of Mikes waiting on the deck,” I ordered, already walking towards the exit.

“Is that the new name for my back?” Abaddon asked as I walked.

“Sounds more official,” I said simply. I found the requested squad and Podrick waiting for me when I exited Abaddon, “Two of you carry the pod, the rest are with me. Oh, Podrick, you can let Luna see again.”

“That was fun! Let’s go again,” Luna said, the enforcers ignored her as they got into position. We took flight towards the castle, coming to a hover near the window to Celestia’s bedroom. A quick peek told me that she was just climbing into bed. ‘Perfect.’

I sent tendrils around the four enforcers I had available and instructed them to hold me just outside the window, “I’d like to begin with a song that always reminds me of home, well, my old home anyway.”

“Jekyll, please don’t do this,” Celestia pleaded, creeping towards the door.

“Gamma, block the door,” I called to the air, “As for you, it’s past due that I say ‘[https://youtu.be/zuQGx1H1Qh8]Welcome To The Pride!’”

“You’ve made your point, leave me alone!” Celestia shouted as soon as the song ended.

“Not yet I haven’t. The war has not been won,” I replied casually.

“What war? Against me?”

“Of course not, don’t you know what the real enemy is? Silence Is The Enemy!” This time I had to dodge blasts from her horn as I sang.

“Enough! Where are my guards? Somepony kill this thing!”

“They gave up on that a long time ago, it’s just you and me. And didn’t you know? I never sleep, I keep my eyes wide open!” I cried, but Celestia sent a beam of light and fire through the tendrils supporting me, sending me crashing into the bushes, “Fine, be that way.”

“Shall we return to Abaddon, sir?” one of the enforcers carrying Luna asked when I rejoined them.

“Yeah, let’s do that. What did you think, Lu?” I asked, Luna’s eyes had glazed over.

“I’m still a little out of it, but I must agree. Returning to Abaddon would be a prudent course of action,” Luna replied, but her face didn’t match her words. I kept an eye on her the entire way back to the room she was occupying, even carrying her and Podrick to the room myself.

“What are you hiding?” I questioned.

“I’m not hiding anything,” Luna intoned, her voice dead.

“Podrick, open up,” I commanded, the cocoon obeyed my order and showed me what was happening inside the pod. Luna was completely covered in tiny writhing tendrils. A closer inspection showed that they weren’t actually doing anything, just pressing against her skin and moving, “Stop that, you’ll send her into shock.”

“Aww, that felt nice,” Luna complained as the tendrils retreated.

“Your brain isn’t designed to handle that much stimulation, it was shutting down to protect itself,” I pointed out, causing Luna’s eyes to widen for a moment.

“But I’m going to be like this for another hour and my skin feels like it’s on fire. What am I supposed to do?” she whined, kicking at the air.

“Not getting Podrick to kill you would be a good start. Other than that, he could always clean it out of your system,” I suggested.

“Nooo, not yet. Does this affect my ability to taste things as well? Let’s get some wine,” Luna rebutted. Abaddon produced the forgotten bottle of red wine that I had ordered at Ivy and Anton’s restaurant.

“I will not be getting drunk this time, one of us needs to be responsible,” I stated, opening the bottle with a claw.

“Could you sit down, I can’t drink it on my own right now,” Luna requested.

“Sure.” I sat on the pod next to her and she crawled into my lap, shuffling around until she was leaning against my left arm. I gave her the first sip, ensuring that I didn’t pour too much and choke her.

“Thank you.” Her mood turned somber. “Jay, why won’t anypony come to my court? Tia said she had it put in the newspaper. Don’t they like me?”

“They don’t know you yet. But you’re doing a good job changing that, going out and making friends, healing Ivy like that. Word will get around that you’re the friendly one, and ponies will start coming to the night court,” I said comfortingly and taking a sip of the wine.

“But what if they see you like Tia does? What if they make me choose between your friendship and my crown? I don’t want to make that choice,” Luna panicked.

“They won’t, and do you think it would stop me if they did?” I said, giving her shoulder a light squeeze.

“No, I don’t believe it would. How are you so confident?” Luna asked, calming back down and taking another sip.

“General apathy. I make a few exceptions for my friends, of course,” I answered, “It isn’t an act, I really don’t care about most things.”

“Yes it is, or you wouldn’t have saved those ponies Lucky mentioned, or spared Anton. You should really learn to admit that you’re a good person.”

“Maybe someday, I have a lot to make up for first,” I commented darkly, taking a long pull from the bottle.

“Defending your home is not a crime. How long must you beat yourself over that one day?”

“There were other days, darker days.”

“Would you like to talk about it?”

“No, I might later, but for now I want to keep these to myself.”

“Jay?”

“Hmm?”

“Look at me.” I did and she placed her lips on mine again, though just a peck this time.

“Was that an attempt to cheer me up, or the drugs warping your decision making?” I asked.

“Neither, that was purely for selfish reasons. Your talk of days gone by has reminded me that you are the closest I have ever come to a coltfriend, I’m feeling rather lonely as a result,” she explained.

“You’re the only pony I’ve ever heard describe themselves as lonely while sitting in a lap,” I commented.

“I may be the first. According to Lucky, a grown mare only sits in a stallions lap for a certain coitus position, if they’re into it,” she finished with a laugh.

“Lucky has a skewed perspective on a lot of things. But if that’s what you thought, why did you crawl into my lap?”

“You aren’t a stallion,” she replied simply.

“And you aren’t under the effects of the drug anymore,” I added with a smirk.

“I suspect the tingling sensation in my back and posterior have something to do with that. Though how did he know I would receive the drugged meal?” Luna wondered.

“He probably hit both of them,” I assumed.

“Now I wonder what you would be like on this drug?”

“No effect, my senses are like that all the time,” I answered.

“You lie,” Luna accused, “It nearly drove me mad, how could you possibly live like that?”

“Would you like to see the world through my eyes? I’ve never done this before but I understand the theory behind it,” I asked. At Luna’s nod I extended several tendrils onto her head and into her brain, taking care not to damage any of the existing connections as I added my own to them. I closed my eyes before finalizing the connection, “Are you ready?”

“I think so,” she replied nervously. I opened my eyes, “You were telling the truth after all.”

“I’m taking the brunt of the input for you, it’s a lot more vivid on my end. Want the rest too?” I offered, setting up the connections.

“I’m ready,” Luna said after a moment. I slowly transitioned her sensory inputs to my own.

“How do you feel?” I asked, making sure I hadn’t damaged her.

“Oft. Aulking is ard, lllp eeeee.” I formed another mouth and transferred control of it to Luna.

“Thank you, talking is quite difficult when you can’t feel your mouth. I feel softer than I had expected,” the mouth said with my voice. I looked around the room, letting her see and smell everything.

“What do you think?”

“Incredible, I suspect I will feel crippled when you return me to my own senses. If I may, what is that mist rising from my tail?” Luna asked.

“Pheromones, every pony releases them. Once you get to know about their biology, you can interpret their moods by the amount released,” I explained.

“You can see smells?”

“Not quite, I can see the cause of the smells,” I added.

“Amazing, what does this cloud say about my mood?” I sent a tendril into the cloud and took a powerful sniff, allowing Luna to smell it as well.

“You’re frustrated,” I answered.

“I don’t feel frustrated,” Luna countered.

“Sexually frustrated, that is the scent of a mare looking to have a couple foals. Sooner rather than later, if she gets a say in the matter. This is what Lucky always smells like,” I explained.

“I’m blaming the drugs,” Luna said defensively.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night. Doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been emitting these pheromones around me more and more,” I teased, we both watched Luna’s face redden.

“We’ve already spoken about this, teasing me about it accomplishes nothing. Although, this reminds me, did Sierra division find anything to help you regain your ability to love?” Luna asked sadly, her numb ears dropping reflexively.

“Not yet, they’re working their way through those tokens right now. I felt it was a more pressing issue,” I replied.

“As I understand it, Cadence would argue with you about that.”

“Nah, she gets it. She’s just happy that I can still feel familial love.”

“That’s why you adopted Lucky’s family then? A rather touching sentiment,” Luna commented, an easy smile spreading across her face.

“I’m going to give you back your senses, close your eyes and try not to move,” I said. Luna did so and I gently transferred her neural connections back to her body and withdrew the tendrils.

“May I open my eyes?” she asked.

“Sure, aww hell, I didn’t let you taste wine like I do,” I self-criticized.

“Couldn’t you just do the same thing again?” Luna inquired.

“No, I don’t want to put too much strain on you. But if I just overrode your taste buds…” I contemplated.

“Do it, I’ve come this far, I want to know what it’s like to be you,” Luna ordered. I had finished working through the details, I didn’t like the results. The actual taste connections would be the easiest part of this endeavor, the hard part would be keeping her from ripping her own tongue out in the process. I’d need to anchor the tendrils deeper to compensate.

“It’ll be uncomfortable, are you sure?” I confirmed.

“Yes, it can’t be worse than when you pulled that poison out of me,” she replied.

“It will, by a lot.”

“Do it, I’m ready,” Luna stated without hesitation. A number of tendrils dove down her throat, latching into the sides of her esophagus and her tongue as they went. Once the connection was fully established, I expanded the infestation to include her lungs and began supplying her with oxygen. I took a long pull off the wine bottle before undoing my gruesome work.

“You okay?” I asked a retching Luna.

“Again,” she coughed.

“What? Are you insane?”

“I was too distracted to pay attention. Do it again, I know what I’m getting into this time,” she commanded.

“No, I’m not going to put you through that again. I’ll link to your brain again in a few days, you can have your taste test then,” I rebutted.

“Fine, it’s about time I got to night court anyway. Not that I’ll have anything to do,” Luna replied grumpily.

“Can you fly or will I need to carry you,” I asked the most hardcore mare on the planet.

“We shall see. May we bring Podrick along? If we have time, I’d like to sneak in a nap,” she requested.

“I’ll make another one when we get there. You can do a whole vampire thing if someone actually shows up,” I suggested. Luna squeed at the idea.

“Oh, that would be hilarious. Can you make the new one look like a coffin?” Luna asked excitedly.

“And stand up on its own. Maybe add some biomass to give you bat wings and fangs?” I added, growing to like the idea.

“Once I have my magic back, I’ll be able to use illusions to simulate the wings and fangs. We’ll need to use your biomass tonight, however,” she conceded.

“Let’s get going, we need to get there early if we’re going to set this prank up in time.” We rushed out of the room, barely slowing to grab a Gamma and Mike squad on our way off Abaddon.

We reached the courtroom with scant minutes before the court was set to begin. I had the Mike squad take positions in the hallway, disguised as statues but with an almost microscopic tendril connected to a single small bell near the throne. I had found the bell connected to a pulley system apparently used to summon servants. The Gammas and I worked together to craft Luna’s new look and coffin before they shifted their forms to look like bat-demons and took positions hanging from the ceiling. I hid myself above the door into the courtroom, both to open and close the door eerily and drop down to corner any ponies that tried to run. As an afterthought, I shifted my form to look like a more aggressive version of the Gammas hanging above.

The bell rang a few minutes later, I opened the door to admit our first victim. It turned out to be the stallion Celestia had walked out on earlier, Fancy Pants, I slammed the door shut behind him. The startled pony jumped and looked around for the one responsible for scaring him, finding only the coffin in the center of the room.

As he approached it out of curiosity, it suddenly tilted ninety degrees to stand upright. The poor noble made for the door, but found it guarded by a devilish monster. As he looked around, more began to drop around him from the ceiling. I closed in as well.

Just as we reached the surrounded stallion, a voice stopped us, “Hold, my pets. This one shall be my dinner tonight.”

“Yes mistress,” we said in unison, backing away and revealing a vampiric alicorn staring hungrily at the terrified stallion. I took position on all fours next to her, my gaze daring the pony to try running. Luna sat and began stroking my head, as if this were a normal occurrence.

“Please, no. I don’t want to die,” Fancy whimpered.

“Is that so? Perhaps I’ll give you a chance then. If you can answer my question correctly, I’ll let you leave with your life,” Vampire-Luna purred.

“I-I”

“What is your purpose for coming here tonight?”

“Uh, P-princess Celestia closed court before I could get an answer as to whether I could use the castle gardens for a family reunion,” the terrified pony stuttered.

“This one speaks as if you are a mere secretary for the sun whore. I would relish the taste of his blood on my fangs,” I growled, not breaking eye contact with the noble.

“Nay, I promised him he would be allowed to live. Besides, there will be plenty to feast on later,” Luna soothed.

“May I go, mistress?” Fancy asked, shaking.

“Only if you can answer my question,” I growled, stepping forward until I was almost nose to nose with the pony, “Are you scared?”

“Yes,” Fancy squeaked.

“You should be, you’ve been pranked by the best team in the world,” I said in my normal voice, keeping my form otherwise.

“What?”

Luna broke first, roaring with laughter. The Gammas and I stepped away and shifted into our regular forms as Luna walked forward and patted the confused noble on the shoulder.

“What just happened?” Fancy asked, finding his voice.

“Night court is dreadfully boring, so we decided to add some life to it. Tonight we’re pranking everypony that shows up, you happened to be the first one,” Luna explained, “And you may absolutely use the gardens for your reunion, so long as you stay away from the statue of Discord.”

“Good show, I’ve never felt my heart race like this before. I had no idea night court would be this much fun, I’ll have to come here more often,” Fancy Pants exclaimed.

“Way to be a good sport,” I congratulated.

“You especially gave me quite a fright mister Jekyll, wherever did you get the idea for that disguise?”

“I don’t know where these six got their forms from, but mine was inspired by a demon I took down a few years ago,” I answered, the enforcers changed back into their previous forms and returned to their hiding places on the ceiling.

“Fascinating, and you mistress, sorry, Princess Luna, you were incredible. Have you ever considered a career in acting? I know a few ponies that would love to have one as skilled as you.”

“Alas, I am chained to this throne. Else I might take you up on that offer,” Luna answered. The bell rang again, “Positions. Fancy, lay down in the corner. Jay, make him all bloody.”

Fancy pants rushed into the corner and I added a red liquid that would pass for blood in a trail from his neck to the coffin and lept into my hiding place. This time it was a servant who simply poked her head in, saw the ‘corpse,’ and ran off without entering the room fully. A couple minutes later the bell went crazy for a half second before falling silent.

A dozen guards stormed into the courtroom, weapons pointed in all directions. I slowly closed the door behind them, adding some weight to make it creak. The guards were unnerved by this but pressed on, the lead one followed the blood trail to the coffin and approached. As with Fancy, the coffin righted as they got near it. However, these ones didn’t attempt to run, allowing the Gammas and I to crawl down the walls and creep up on them.

The coffin opened slowly, Luna dropping to all fours once it had opened enough for her to do so. She ran her tongue over her fangs as she looked over the new arrivals.

“Release the princess, demon,” the squad leader, a sergeant commanded forcefully.

“I don’t believe I will,” Luna purred, running a wing over the sergeant’s back seductively as she passed, causing the squad to turn and see the rest of us assembled and ready to pounce. Their weapons rose again as we closed in.

I barked a cruel laugh, “May I feast upon them, my mistress?”

“You know the rules of our coven, we may only kill those who cannot answer our questions,” Luna whispered loudly in my ear, ensuring the guards could hear. She approached them with me and sprawled across my back once I stopped, her oversized bat wings spread out over my own.

She stared at them upside down with her head pressed against the top of mine as I asked my question, “Are you scared?”

“The celestial guard are the defenders of Harmony,” the sergeant called.

“And we shall feel no fear!” the squad chanted.

“Foolish, but brave. This is getting a little dangerous for my liking, I concede. Mistress?”

“I concede as well. Well done, Tia has some excellent ponies watching over her,” Luna said normally as she rolled off of me and back onto her hooves.

“So you will release Princess Luna?” the sergeant asked.

“I was never possessed, I’m just having some fun with my court.”

“And the demons?”

“Sup, name’s Jekyll. The rest are my guards.”

“And the body?”

“You may rise, Fancy,” Luna said, Fancy Pants didn’t move. I walked over and checked on the noble.

“He fell asleep,” I called back, lifting the sleeping pony and placing him on a bench.

“It is pretty late,” one of the guards reasoned.

“Do you have further need of us, princess? Thralls, perhaps?” the sergeant asked, a wicked grin spreading across his face.

The rest of the night continued along the same trend, every pony we got joined our ranks in pranking the next set. By the time Celestia walked in at dawn, we had a small army of thralls and zombies commanded by a squad of demons and led by a vampiric princess. Celestia took one look at us and teleported away. After a quick vote, we decided to see how long we could hold the courtroom.

We gave up and went our separate ways at noon, a number of guards surprising their comrades by being suddenly cured of being a zombie. I heard some of our former thralls talking about transferring to Luna’s guard as we passed on our way to Abaddon.

“Now that we have a moment, were you intending to move to Abaddon before you said that to Chelly?” I asked Luna as we walked past her old quarters.

“Nope, it was kind of a spur of the moment idea. Sorry I didn’t ask you first,” Luna replied.

“It’s cool, I probably would have offered at some point anyway,” I commented.

“At some point?” Luna challenged.

“I can’t give you the option if I don’t think of it first,” I pointed out.

“A fair point. Shall we get some lunch on our way home?” Luna suggested.

“Nah, I’ll have a Mike pick something up. You should get to bed, you’ve been awake for nearly two days now.”

“As you say, I should lie down soon,” Luna yawned.

“You’re about to pass out,” I noted, “I’ll carry you the rest of the way. Don’t worry about nodding off, I’ll make sure you find your way into your favorite bed.”

“Thanks, Jay,” Luna replied, tilting dangerously before I wrapped a few hundred tendrils around her and carried her to the nearest balcony.

A Sierra was waiting for me near the door into Abaddon’s interior, “Sir, we’ve got it.”

“Be quiet, she’s asleep,” I hissed.

“My apologies,” the enforcer whispered, “We have figured out how the tokens work. In addition, we have gained an understanding of how to create one.”

“Continue.”

“According to our information, all you need to do is take an item of some significance, speak the message you want to accompany it, and will it into other universes.”

“That’s retarded. Check it again, there is no way in hell it works like that.”

“We did, that is indeed how these tokens are created.”

“I’ll test it myself. If you’re wrong I’ll be taking a serious look at the future of Sierra division,” I threatened.

“I await your findings,” the Sierra said, turning down a separate corridor.

I walked into Luna’s room, which now looked remarkably like her room in Canterlot Castle. I briefly wondered when the enforcers had done this, as I hadn’t given the order yet. After placing Luna inside Podrick I sat down and contemplated the Sierra’s directions.

A moment later I formed a copy of a single claw, but made entirely out of dead bone to prevent a Redlight pandemic from spreading throughout the multiverse.

“I am Jekyll, render of flesh and conqueror of nations, call me and be judged. If I find you worthy of my attention, I may help you in your endeavors. Should I find you wanting however, I shall destroy you for wasting my time,” I declared with a dark tone, tossing the claw into the air. It disappeared when it was even with my nose, confirming the Sierra’s prediction.

“Was that wise?” a tired voice asked.

“It’ll make first meetings a little awkward, but it will also tell me the character of the one trying to summon me. If they attack me for being ’evil,’ then I know they’re good people. Anyone who wants to use my power for their own purposes is not,” I answered.

“Backwards thinking is a bad idea Jay, what if you lose?” Luna countered.

“I intend to meet all of them on my terms, surrounded by enforcers with Abaddon looming overhead,” I replied, “If there’s anything that can take on all of us and win, then we’ve got bigger problems.”

“I suppose, but must you meet new friends by getting them to try and kill you?”

“Nah, that’s just for fun.”

“I will never understand you, Jay.”

“If I had a bit for every time I’d heard that,” I commented.