“WHAT?” Twilight roared, falling out of the chair she shared with Fluttershy and flopping around on the ground.

“Calm yourself Twilight, this is nothing to panic over,” Luna reassured, though she shot me a mild glare.

“But don’t you realize what this means? Equestria is over. If Jekyll was already a king, then Equestria was absorbed by that country when you got married. I don’t know where I live anymore! Will my mail be delivered to the right continent? There hasn’t been a joining of nations in centuries. Will Ponyville have to change its name? Will I have to change my name? Is reading illegal now?” Twilight was silenced by Fluttershy, surprisingly, who looked at her friend in concern before adding her take on the matter.

“Um, I’m sorry, but, um, if you could keep your voice down, um, a lot of my animal friends are trying to sleep, that is, if you don’t mind,” Fluttershy requested before removing her wing from around Twilight’s muzzle.

“Twilight, I believe Jay would have told me this earlier if it was important,” Luna added before Twilight could speak.

“Meh, depends on how you look at it. I haven’t even been there in years, I just appointed a secretary to deal with everything and left. I swing by a couple times a decade and make sure everything's running smoothly, but that’s all I do. Shit, Chelly doesn’t even know,” I commented.

“Out of curiosity, what nation do you rule?” Luna asked, flashing a grin on the side of her face that Twilight couldn’t see. The unicorn in question looked ready to burst from the rest of us not allowing her to continue her panic attack.

“Sorry, it’s classified. Originally by Sombra, and later by me. Coincidentally, that’s also the order I care about them in,” I replied honestly.

“I see, but I was under the impression that Sombra was killed by my sister. That just leaves you not wanting to tell us,” Luna pointed out with a sly grin, thinking she had me cornered.

“Hmm, it would seem that way. Unless, of course, you know that state secrets don’t die with the king,” I countered.

“Drat, I thought I had you. Well, nothing left to do but guess. My money is on the Badlands,” Luna wagered, her grin widening despite being deprived of the knowledge she desired.

“How are you two so calm?” Twilight managed to say. Luna and I just looked at her for a moment before speaking at the same time.

“I kept our marriage out of the public documents.”

“I doubt it’ll be a big deal.”

Twilight looked at the two of us and sighed, “Fine, I’ll guess that Sombra gave you the Crystal Empire.”

“Kingdom,” I corrected, “And I’ll tell you both the same thing: I can neither confirm nor deny any of your guesses.”

“Either way, it’s fun. Maybe the Gryphon Isles, that would make for an interesting twist,” Luna suggested. I remained silent and held my face in an amused smile as I leaned back on the couch to get comfortable.

“No way, it’s gotta be the Crystal Kingdom,” Twilight argued, putting plenty of emphasis on the word ‘kingdom.’

“Ah wouldn’t bet the farm, but I’d guess Tartarus,” Applejack said from the floor.

“Oh, come on AJ, Tartarus isn’t a country,” Twilight joked.

“It seems Tia has affected more of your education than I had first thought. Tartarus is an imprisoned nation, Twilight. It was also a contender for my second guess,” Luna explained.

“Wow, I never knew that. I don’t think anypony knows that, not anymore anyway,” Twilight replied, her ears drooping sadly at the prospect of lost knowledge.

“Are you lot done guessing? You won’t get any response,” I asked, though not impatiently.

“As fun as it is to speculate, it is rather pointless,” Luna conceded.

“Ah got a question. You say these demon critters are such a big problem, but Ah ain’t heard nothin’ ‘bout ‘em ‘fore now,” Applejack posed as she finally rose to a seated position.

“Chelly censored everything about them and burned every book about summoning she could find. I doubt she even saved a copy for herself,” I replied. Twilight looked horrified at the mental image no doubt playing through her mind.

“So much lost knowledge,” she whimpered.

“For the better in this case, too many minor incursions started when an inexperienced unicorn tried to summon a skamp to do the dishes or some dumb shit like that,” I rebuked, causing Twilight to glare petulantly in my direction.

“Dangerous information is still valuable, if only so you know what not to do,”

“You might have a difficult time applying that to this argument, summoning isn’t something you can do on accident,” I pointed out, “There’re specific runes, you have to learn how to channel demonic magic, and that’s ignoring the risks to yourself and those around you.”

“Around you means the town or country in this case,” Luna added.

“Country? One summoner can threaten a country?” Twilight gasped.

“Not the summoner, but he or she doesn’t have much control over what kind of demon is brought out. The best case for the world at large, it’s a ripper, then only the town will be mauled to death. Worst case, it’s a greater demon. Now, these bastards are all unique, so no description really fits them, but they can all hold the portal open and let more out. We call these situations an incursion,” I explained.

“Ah’m out, y’all’re gonna give me nightmares,” Applejack declared as she walked out.

“Bye AJ. What happens to the summoner when that happens?” Twilight asked without looking away from me.

“They die, usually, hopefully,” I replied simply, eliciting a sad nod from Luna.

“What happens when they don’t?” Twilight continued.

“The cousin of the succubus is an incubus, a male lust demon, they are nothing like the more submissive and docile succubi. If you were to summon one, you would spend the rest of your short life as its rape-slave. Granted, it would have full control of your mind and wouldn’t have to physically force you to do anything, so there’s that at least,” I explained.

“I no longer want to summon a demon,” Twilight said hurriedly.

“I don’t understand why you would in the first place,” I responded.

“Research.” Luna and I rose our eyebrows at the unicorn in unison. “Notlikethat, just questions! I was curious about what Tartarus is like and how demons live, stuff like that.”

“Why didn’t you say that twenty minutes ago instead of letting me waste everyone’s time? Jeff, have Abaddon send a Mike with the stuff I’ll need,” I ordered to everyone’s surprise.

“But you said-” Twilight attempted.

“Yep”

“And you’re confident-” Luna tried.

“Second verse, same as the first.”

“Should I summon my weapons?” Luna asked.

“Nope,” I replied, hearing a dull boom outside. Taking that as my cue, I walked out the front door and retrieved the leather wrapped package from the Mike buried headfirst in Fluttershy’s yard.

“Oh my, is he okay?” Fluttershy asked from the doorway.

“A little higher next time!” I called towards my leviathan, “Yeah, he’ll be fine. Do you mind if I borrow your basement for a minute?”

“Um, sure. But please don’t break anything, if you can,” Fluttershy allowed.

I walked in and made a beeline for the basement door, ignoring the inquiring looks directed at the rectangular package in my right hand. Once I was inside and the door was locked behind me, I opened the leather flap and withdrew Cataclysm. I looked over the sheath for damage before drawing the flawless green blade, I smirked as I thought about how innocent it looked. As I fed demonic magic into the handle, the blade lost its shine and quickly coated itself with black rust. I light shake caused the rust to flake of and reveal the calcified bone the weapon was truly made of, the air around it shimmering and igniting into black flames.

With a halfhearted slash, I cut a hole in reality into the basement wall, “Pizza Hut, wadda ya want?”

“Harry, who do you think is calling?” I asked as the portal opened and allowed me to see the clawed demon on the other side. Harry was a ripper, all teeth, claws, and fire. He was also Dirge’s best friend and biggest competitor.

“Boss! Shit, I thought it was someone else,” Harry apologized.

“Who the fuck would be calling you? And why would you answer with a reference from my world? I’m genuinely curious now,” I pressed.

“Little white unicorn filly with a purple mane, tried to get her cutie mark in demon summoning. It didn’t work but we still talk from time to time,” Harry explained sheepishly.

“That doesn’t make any damn sense, how would they even know you exist? Much less how to set up a summoning? You know what, I’m done, I don’t care anymore,” I announced.

“Uh, was there a reason you called? Not that you can’t, of course,” Harry asked before backpedaling both verbally and physically.

“I need Cat for a bit, send her though,” I ordered the former chef that I used as a secretary.

“Gonna try to have her fuck some life into your cold heart? Didn’t work before,” Harry asked, relaxing at my more mild tone.

“No, my wife’s new student wants to learn more about Tartarus. Figured this would be the safest way,” I replied, a hard edge entering my voice.

“No offense master, of course, I’m just trying to be helpful,” the ripper, who was built to rend flesh, replied meekly.

“Whatever, I’m still waiting,” I stated harshly.

“Of course, just a moment. CATRIX! Got a call for you!” Harry shouted as he ran away from the portal to find the demon I had called for.

“Harry, I swear if you’re pranking me ag-Jay!” Catrix screamed as she threw herself through the portal and wrapped her arms around my neck. With a flick of my sword, the portal was closed again.

“Hey Cat, how’ve you been?” I asked, receiving a slap and a kiss in response.

“Pissed, but happy to see you again. So what’s the job? Bachelor party? Low on funds and need to pimp me out for some quick cash? Booty call?” Catrix guessed.

“Nah, unicorn upstairs is the type that would end up letting a horde of rippers loose in her search for answers, this is the safest way for her to learn as much as she wants,” I replied, remaining motionless despite Catrix’s efforts to pull me to the ground.

“Research then. Maybe you’d let me research you in return. It’d be like that time old Doc Death set us up, hmm?” Catrix proposed playfully, relentless as ever. Her attitude had approached the level of an obsession after I turned her down and it got even worse after Death roped us into an experiment to test my lack of interest, but eventually we had reached an agreement.

“Sorry Cat, I’m married now,” I apologized. I waited for Catrix to release her hold on me so we could walk back into the main room. Once she did I replaced Cataclysm in its sheath and returned it to the packaging. Deciding I didn’t want to carry it around I tossed it at the wall, correctly guessing that Jeffrey would catch it and ferry it back to Abaddon.

“Uh, Jay? I get that you have no interest at all and it’s fun to tease you, but I can’t say the same for others. I don’t regenerate with my clothes and there aren’t a lot in Tartarus, could you help a girl out?” Catrix requested, I tossed a couple flaps of skin around her in a passing resemblance of her old dress.

“You’re a terrible liar, by the way. Fun to tease me, my ass,” I laughed as I led the way back to the stairs.

“I’m allowed to have some modesty, sometimes,” Catrix griped as I unlocked the basement door and pushed it open. The door thunked against something solid and I heard Twilight cry out in pain.

“I warned you that the door opened outward,” Luna deadpanned.

“I thought I was far enough away,” Twilight whined.

“Might be a good idea to avoid listening in when demons are involved. Cat, meet everyone. Everyone, this is Catrix Infernus,” I introduced, earning a few gasps from the seated ponies.

“The same Catrix from the Crystal Kingdom?” Luna asked, garnering Catrix’s attention. Catrix didn’t react well to finding herself in the same room with an alicorn. She immediately hissed threateningly and crouched in front of me, her nails lengthening into claws and canines extending into fangs.

“At ease Cat, Luna isn’t our enemy,” I warned. Catrix turned her head just enough to look me in the eyes while still keeping an eye on a very startled Luna.

“Her sister took mine from me, why shouldn’t I do the same to her?” she hissed angrily, the eye I could see becoming catlike in rage.

“There’s the argument that you physically can’t and the argument that I’m telling you not to,” I countered.

“Is that an order?” Catrix snarled.

“If it has to be,” I shot back.

“As you wish, my king, I’ll let the winged hussy live.”

“Damnit Cat, that was classified,” I snapped.

“Tartarus, Equestria and Tartarus are the same country now,” Twilight muttered, dazed by the combination of this information and a mild case of door-to-the-face.

“What’s she going on about?” Catrix asked, her features returning to normal. Her scowl remained, however.

Not important right now,” I replied, trying to pull the conversation away in an attempt at damage control.

“I think it is. I think you married the little sister. I think I just called the queen of Tartarus a hussy. Oh fuck, I just called the queen a hussy,” Catrix panicked as her brain connected the dots.

“Well this looks mildly familiar,” I commented while Luna fought for breath as she was smothered by the breasts of an apologizing Catrix.

“I wasn’t that bad, was I?” Twilight asked, having recovered from her mild panic attack at the sight.

“You didn’t have a legitimate fear and you were crying, Tartarus is different. If word got back that she had insulted royalty, she’d spend the next hundred years being digested and shit out repeatedly by a hoard of bloats,” I replied.

“What’s a bloat?” Twilight asked casually, her attention was more focused on the sight in front of her. It only got worse when one of the spikes on Luna’s outfit got caught on Catrix’s dress and ripped it off. The cost of using biomass for clothing, it doesn’t hold up very well.

“It’s a fat demon that can and will eat anything and everything if given the opportunity,” I replied, internally wondering how far Catrix was planning to go in her quest for forgiveness.

“Is she going too…” Twilight trailed off.

“I honestly don’t know. It’s like a train wreck, you don’t want to watch but you can’t look away,” I replied.

A tray clattered to the floor as Fluttershy walked in and say the scene on her couch, “Oh my, could you please not do that on my couch. I have a bed upstairs you can borrow, if you want to, that is. It’s really no trouble, but that couch is kinda difficult to clean.”

“Hmm?” Catrix asked, leaning back to look at the rest of us in the room and finally allowing Luna to free her head and draw in some precious oxygen.

“I-I need to raise the moon,” Luna declared, fumbling off the couch and walking into the wall. As she stumbled around, I noticed she had her eyes closed tightly.

“I hope she’s not still mad,” Catrix mumbled as she turned around to sit normally. Twilight’s and Fluttershy’s jaws dropped as they caught a clear view of the demon.

“Wow,” Twilight breathed, already under the succubus’s spell.

“You can stay here if you want!” Fluttershy blurted, turning a shade of crimson as she spoke.

“No way, Jekyll summoned her for me to study, she’s coming back to the library,” Twilight snapped with an unwarranted amount of hostility.

“Jay, could you make me a new dress? It’s the only way they’ll stop fighting,” Catrix requested with a sigh.

“Gets old sometimes, doesn’t it?” I asked, as I repaired the original one and tossed it to her. Twilight and Fluttershy instantly stopped fighting and hugged when Catrix slipped the dress over her head.

“Did I miss anything?” Luna asked as she walked back in.

“Nope, nothing,” Fluttershy and Twilight lied at the same time.

“My queen I-” Catrix attempted, standing to approach Luna again.

“It’s fine Catrix, I understand your hostility towards my sister. And Please, just call me Luna. I didn’t even like being a princess, this queen nonsense is going to give me a headache. What do you say, friends?” Luna proposed, lifting her hoof both to stop Catrix’s advance and present it for shaking.

“You want to be friends with me? But I’m a demon and a succubus at that, we’re barely above imps. The only reason I wasn’t being used for practice when Jay called is because of my friendship with him, their fear was the only thing that kept me safe. Jay doesn’t care about social standing, but why would you want me as one of your friends?” Catrix asked depressingly.

“Jay has taught me a lot about friendship and how to pick your friends, I find that I share his contempt toward social norms. Catrix-Cat, I don’t care that you’re a demon, I’m concerned that the other demons would pick on you, and I’m glad Jay has been able to spare you that pain. Will you accept my offer of friendship?” Luna replied, pulling Catrix into a significantly more coordinated hug.

“Should I be taking notes?” Twilight asked awkwardly.

“Your student, your problem,” I laughed as I walked past Twilight to pick up a biscuit from Fluttershy’s forgotten tray.

“I’m sorry, they’re all dirty now. I’ll make another batch,” Fluttershy apologized, cringing as I bit into the dusty bread anyway.

“Seems fine to me,” I replied.

So, this is nice and all, but where am I supposed to be staying while I’m here?” Catrix asked as Luna released her.

“With me in the library, it’s the most efficient solution,” Twilight stated.

“You can sleep in my bed if you want, I can stay on the couch. If you want, that is,” Fluttershy offered.

“You’ll be provided a room onboard Abaddon,” I answered definitively.

“What’s an Abaddon?” Catrix asked, confused.

“Leviathan class walking fortress, he’s also our house. You could walk around naked and not be treated any differently than anyone else, provided none of Luna’s pony guards are around,” I explained.

“Aren’t they still confined to their rooms?” Luna asked.

“Unless Abby decided they’ll behave,” I replied.

“Really? I won’t be the center of attention? That’s awesome, can we go right now?” Catrix rambled, bouncing in excitement.

“I thought you liked being in the spotlight,” Luna commented, her voice low as Catrix skipped happily out the door.

“Cat likes my attention, the rest is just how she is,” I replied, taking just as much care not to be overheard.

“Why?” Luna pressed as we left the cabin, and disappointed ponies inside, for the night.

“Ask her yourself, she’s less shy than Lucky. Somehow,” I said, my voice returning to its normal volume.

“Ask me what?” Catrix asked, rushing back to us.

“I’d prefer to speak somewhere more private,” Luna requested. With a flash, we were back in our room on Abaddon, “This should do, I wanted to ask about your relationship with Jay.”

“Hehe, shit. Look, I know we have a reputation as homewreckers but I’d never do that to you and Jay barely notices me anyway. We’re just friends, I swear. Please don’t send me to the pits,” Catrix pleaded.

“Jay, could you step outside for a moment?” Luna requested.

“Please don’t leave me here,” Catrix begged.

“Abaddon, don’t let them get violent,” I ordered before walking out of the room and locking the door. A full hour later, the door opened and Catrix walked out cheerfully.

“Goodnight Luna, see you tomorrow,” she called as she walked down the hallway and into the room next to ours.

“Jay,” Luna said, her voice neutral.

“Sup?” I replied as I walked in and found Luna sitting on the bed.

“Sit,” she ordered, gesturing to the space next to her.

“I feel like I’m about to get slapped again,” I commented as I followed her instruction.

“That seems rational,” Luna agreed. I was thrown face first into the ground by a telekinetic wave and pinned in place by Luna’s twin swords going though my shoulders and her magic pushing down on me. Nightbane appeared at my throat, burning with a blue flame, “I’m not very rational right now.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I offered diplomatically.

“What’s to talk about? You brought an ex-girlfriend into our home, and I like her. It’s infuriating, I want to hate her so much but she’s just so damn nice. I can’t hate her, but I can be angry at you. She told me a little about your escapades over the years. Is that why she’s really here? So you can play with your little succubus friend while I’m left confused and frustrated. Answer me!” Luna raved, her voice becoming a scream by the end.

“Twilight wanted a demon, I got her one that wouldn’t ruin her life. I don’t have an ulterior motive,” I answered honestly.

“You could have gotten one that you haven't had sex with!” Luna shouted.

“You know how little that means to me. Besides, there are over a billion demons in Tartarus, I know the names of four of them. Asking Harry to find me a random succubus could take days, but Cat got the others convinced that she was my personal concubine so she could live in the palace. It took seconds for Harry to track her down,” I explained calmly.

“Stop making so much sense!” Luna raged, kicking my head into the blade of her scythe.

“Okay, I can be irrational too,” I warned, having to speak with my neck due to the burning weapon in my mouth. I forced myself to my feet, allowing Luna’s swords to tear out of my shoulders and remain in the floor.

“Stay back!” Luna demanded, backing into the wall as the force pushing down on me increased.

“I thought you knew me better than that,” I threatened as I took a heavy step forward. Then another.

“Leave me alone!” Luna shouted, changing the direction of her pressure wave to push me away. I rooted my feet to Abaddon and took another step, I was within arm’s length now.

“I said stay back!” Luna screamed, her eyes going black as it felt like I was hit with the full power of a hurricane.

“No,” I whispered. My arm snapped out and pulled Luna into my embrace, breaking her concentration and ending her spell. It was still powerful enough to send us sliding across the floor, however.

“Unhand me cretin,” Luna ordered, charging another spell.

“No,” I whispered again, kissing her horn and leaving a bit of biomass behind to prevent her from fighting me further. I bodily tossed Luna onto the bed and pinned her down in a much less painful way than she had used.

“Is this how you like to take your demon whore?”

“I never figured you for the jealous type. I would’ve assumed you’d have figured out that I could’ve slipped off to Tartarus and left you behind at any point, but I haven’t. You’re pissed over the combination of a good friend and centuries of boredom. You are far from boring and I wouldn’t do that to you,” I chided gently.

“How many others? How many other lovers have you had throughout the years?” Luna asked, tears flowing freely out of her new eyes.

“Two. I screwed Chilly to help her through her cycle, and you know who the other one is,” I answered as gently as possible.

“What, did you rut my student on the way to defeat the Nightmare? Or was it Tia? I always got her leftovers,” Luna accused, her anger returning.

“It’s you, fucktard,” I deadpanned.

“Oh. You can let me go now, I just need to think for a bit,” Luna said thoughtfully, visibly deflating.

“You know how to find me,” I replied as I got off the bed and started for the door, planning to sit on the deck all night.

“Please stay, I don’t want to be alone right now,” Luna requested.

“Sure,” I agreed, changing course for the far wall and sitting down. Several minutes passed before Luna spoke again.

“Jay?” she asked.

“Right here,” I responded.

“Can you see under the bed?”

“Yes, there aren’t any monsters down there.”

“You’re right, it’s on top of the bed,” Luna sobbed, curling into herself.

“Why would you say that?” I asked, rising.

“‘Cause I almost pushed you away over some petty jealousy,” Luna replied.

“Luna, I’m like a cockroach. You can stomp on me, poison me, set me on fire, and throw me down a well, but I’ll always survive and I’ll always be the annoying bastard keeping you up at night. It takes more than a pressure wave and shouting to get me to abandon you, I don’t think it’s even possible,” I said reassuringly.

“I know, I know you wouldn’t hurt me like that. That’s what makes it so much worse that I attacked you, I broke my promise over nothing,” Luna whimpered.

“It wasn’t nothing, I should have talked to you before letting Cat stay here. I’m sorry,” I apologized.

“It’s alright. Why don’t you come to bed, maybe try to sleep again? I promise to keep away any nightmares,” Luna offered.

“Sure,” I replied, walking over to the bed and crawling over Luna to fill the empty space on her other side.

“Could you hold me?” Luna requested.

“If I shift in my sleep…” I began, fearful of waking up to find Luna in bloody pieces.

“I trust you,” Luna replied, rolling over so she could hold me in her hooves as well.

“Sir and Ma’am, Cat has asked me to inform you that ‘make up sex’ is great and that the walls are thinner than you think,” Abaddon announced from the wall nearby.

“Well that killed the mood. I was going to make another attempt too,” Luna complained.

“Cat wouldn’t care, you know,” I countered.

“Too late, it’s gone. Now I’m just feeling sorry for myself,” Luna continued.

“Hmm, do you think it would help if you and Cat spent more time together? Became better friends, maybe even trust each other?” I offered, wondering if Luna would catch on to what I was planning.

“That isn’t a bad idea. I don’t expect I’ll be able to sleep for some time with all the things on my mind right now, maybe spending time with friends will help me put those thoughts to rest,” Luna agreed, teleporting her leather outfit off and rolling off the bed.

“Great, let’s go,” I suggested, hopping off the bed and sending a tendril into the far corner for a brief moment. I was going to need a long forgotten item for my plan to work. With my surprise safely hidden within my right calf, I led Luna to Catrix's room. Catrix’s door was already open and waiting for us when we arrived at our neighbor's room, the demon herself was sitting on a recreation or the bed in our room and wore a silk dress that reached her ankles.

“I’m glad you two are okay, I’d hate myself if I messed up such an adorable couple,” Catrix said in greeting.

“You know, I’m honestly more concerned where that dress came from than whether or not you mean that,” Luna responded, a troubled look on her face.

“Well, I got to talking with Abby and asked him if he could make me something sturdier. He couldn’t but the attempt was fun anyway, so he sent someone named Jeff my measurements and had this commissioned from a local shop. I guess the seamstress was still awake and she threw this together in just a few minutes. It’s really good quality too, I can’t even find any of the seams. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she got a bunch of silkworms to make the entire dress a single piece,” Catrix praised, inspecting the fabric critically as she spoke and finding it flawless.

“And the adorable couple thing?” Luna pressed tersely.

“Only half joking, no one calls Jekyll the Horror adorable and lives. I meant the rest though,” Catrix laughed, knowing how much I hated that nickname.

“The Horror?” Luna asked, smirking.

“When I got moved up to first legion, the retiring legate thought it would be funny to spread that name through the entire city. They nicknamed themselves ‘The Freakshow’ to welcome me to the unit, I never lived it down,” I grumbled.

“Jay?” Catrix asked, sounding confused, “Do you really believe that?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“It wasn’t a prank, you earned that name. Everyone knew how you fought and how relentless you were, they gave you that nickname because you horrified every enemy you ever made eye contact with on the battlefield. You conquered Tartarus on fucking accident, for oblivion’s sake,” Catrix corrected, incredulous.

“Then why didn’t anyone tell me?” I pressed.

“Those that knew you thought it was funny, the rest were too scared of being your next victim,” Catrix replied.

“Oh,” I said. I didn’t know what else I could say, everything she said made sense. I tore trenches through every force I faced until they started surrendering at the sight of me. I never thought about the impact it would have on my soldiers.

“Jay, are you okay?” Luna asked.

“Yeah, just seeing some things in a new light. But enough about the past, I’ve already spent too much time there today. We came here to-”

“I know why you’re here,” Catrix interrupted, “You coaxed dear Luna into my room so I’d help her discover her more sensual side.”

“What?” Luna asked, visibly shaken.

“If the conversation goes there, I did come prepared,” I replied, kicking my right leg and launching Luna’s toy into Catrix’s hand.

“You always do,” she commented as she inspected Lucky’s gift, even going as far as smelling it before reaching a conclusion, “This was Lucky’s. You went to see Lucky and Silver without me?”

“Of course you know that crazy mare,” Luna groaned.

“Hell yeah I do, I used to foalsit little Willow for them. How is she by the way?” Catrix asked excitedly.

“She’s a registered nurse, still working at the resort though. Pepper owns that kitchen, paperwork be damned. Lily used to work the desk and other odd jobs, but I’m pretty sure she’s in Ponyville right now. Mary got weird after she decided to wander Equestria for a summer. And the rest of the kids are about how you left them, they all still work in that hotel of theirs,” I replied.

“And the happy parents? I swear, I could lay naked in a Manehattan street with a neon sign and Lucky would still get more action than me,” Catrix laughed.

“Silver passed a couple years back. Some illness, I didn’t get the details, but I know I could’ve cured him if I’d heard in time. Lucky wasn’t doing very well when we met her a couple months ago, but I think she’s going to be alright,” I responded soberly.

“Oh no, his mane wasn’t even gray when I last saw him. How long has it been since you last summoned me?” Catrix asked, attempting to distract herself with the hem of her dress.

“Five years,” I replied, “His mane never grayed.”

“Aren’t demons just sinful souls? Couldn’t you find him and bring him back?” Luna asked.

“Nah, that’s just a story to scare children. Every demon alive today has been around since the beginning, we can’t have children of our own and we’re hard to keep dead. If Jay cut my throat right now, I’d reform in my room of the palace. Jay’s the only one that has ever put any of us down permanently, and that was a real horror show,” Catrix explained.

“Then the limitless horde that’s always described is just the same demons over and over?” Luna continued.

“Bingo,” Catrix said.

“Fascinating, anything else you could tell me about demons?” Luna pressed.

“I could tell you pretty much anything you wanted to know. I used to get around and you can learn a lot about a place from those on the bottom,” Catrix replied with a smirk as she got more comfortable around Luna.

“Did that mean what I think it meant?” Luna asked, taken aback by the implications.

“Yes, but it’s also true. The first thing I used to do when in a strange place was find a whore to give me the lay of the land. Both interpretations, by the way,” Catrix purred, standing and sauntering over to Luna as she spoke.

“I don’t know if I’m comfortable with where this is going,” Luna commented as Catrix laid an arm around her neck.

“Don’t worry baby, I’m a professional, I’d never force you to do anything you don’t want to do,” Catrix continued as her dress slid off without any obvious cause, “Oops.”

“Jay, help me,” Luna begged, her eyes having closed tightly when Catrix’s dress started moving.

“Lu, I’ve been around Cat for centuries and knew a lot of her clients, I know how it works. It’s kinda like being in heat, you become more aware of your desires but you don’t lose your self control. Silver could say no and return to his wife. If you don’t want her to bring out this side of you, which would be the healthy thing to do by the way, then look her in the eyes and say so. It’s a naked female, you’re around them all the time, that’s all she is,” I encouraged. Luna whimpered indecisively for a minute before opening her eyes and locking them on Catrix’s.

“I-I’m okay. This isn’t so bad, I thought I’d go crazy or something,” Luna said, her relief clear on her face.

“That’s great, I really don’t like being feared,” Catrix replied, walking over and folding her dress before placing it gently on her bed.

“So, is that it? I faced my fears, am I in touch with my intimate side now?” Luna asked, chuckling at her own actions.

“Nope, that wasn’t even the first lesson. It was more like a qualifier,” Catrix replied, turning back towards Luna. I had started edging towards the wall near the door to stay out of the way.

“You did that on purpose. Before, I could only see your face, now you’re forcing me to look at all of you,” Luna accused.

“And you haven't jumped me, doesn’t that say something about your self control?” Catrix countered as she sat down and crossed her legs, resting her hands on her knee.

“I suppose it does,” Luna mused, “Jay, I think this will go over better than dropping me at Lucky’s hooves. I’ll be fine if you have something you need to do.”

“Either have her back in an hour or have Abaddon tell me what’s going on,” I ordered before walking out.

I wandered the halls for an hour before checking on Luna. She wasn’t in our room so I cracked open Catrix’s door and peeked inside, finding Catrix and Luna asleep on the bed. Having nowhere else to be, I widened the bed and climbed in as well. Luna was pinned between the two of us and fidgeted in her sleep until she had a hoof around each of us before sleeping peacefully for the rest of the night. Sleep eluded me once again and sooner than I would like, it was time for Luna to start the day.

“Mistress Luna, it is time for dawn,” Abaddon announced, waking up the sleeping women with the gentleness of a tidal wave. His secondary head took a fireball to the face for his trouble.

“I need a new alarm clock,” Luna groused.

“Ug, five more minutes,” Catrix requested.

“Seconded, nopony will miss five minutes,” Luna agreed with a yawn.

“Ma’am, the locals are becoming concerned,” Abaddon lied, catching another fireball.

“Can I go back to sleep afterwards?” Luna asked.

“I don’t see why not,” I replied, catching both her and Catrix’s attention.

“Huh, last night must have been better than I remember,” Catrix muttered before rolling over and trying to fall back asleep, only to screech in pain as Luna’s horn lit to raise the sun, “Damn that’s bright.”

“Dawn is proceeding normally, no abnormalities observed,” Abaddon noted before retreating.

“Didn’t you have some goop on yer horn before?” Catrix asked tiredly, still grumbling about the light level in the room.

“I took it off a few minutes ago,” I replied as the light faded and Luna let out a small yawn before trying to pull Catrix and I towards herself, succeeding in pulling both of them to me. I was the only one awake a few seconds later, but I didn’t mind, it was just how my life went. Luna and Catrix awoke for the day a couple hours later.

“How did the lesson go?” I asked knowingly as Luna crawled over me to get out of the bed.

“You remember when we woke up after the party and discovered we were married? Nothing like that, after a while we set up a week long curriculum to quote ‘find the stick that’s up my ass’ unquote,” Luna complained. Abaddon’s booming laughter could probably be heard on the moon.

“I have never seen anyone less comfortable with themselves in my life,” Catrix groaned, “I expected this to be fun, too.”

“It can’t be that bad. I mean, I figured you had some codependency issues, but nothing Cat couldn’t figure out,” I rebuked.

“I’m not a therapist,” Catrix countered.

“The fuck you aren’t, I know why Sombra stopped by your house every week,” I shot back.

“Fine, I’m good with people. Are you happy now?” Catrix relented.

“Remind me to smack you at some point for lying to me,” Luna commented as she stretched.

“In my defense, I didn’t think of bringing Cat into it until she offered. That’s being an opportunist, not having an ulterior motive,” I countered.

“As if, I didn’t hear any offer,” Luna pointed out.

“I offered to help with your relationship issues when I got Abby to suggest make-up sex, Jay just knows how I talk,” Catrix replied, backing me up.

“Oh. Well then, I guess I still have a lot to learn about how friends talk to each other. I’d never considered secret codes. I’m getting in the shower, hizen gizen dizen dorf,” Luna called in farewell, obviously trying to make up her own code.

“My mother would never do that!” I shouted in mock offense, “And even if she tried, she’d drown.”

“What? What did I say?” Luna asked fearfully.

“You claimed his father was a blue whale,” Catrix lied, improvising based on my claim, “Jay, I think she just called you fat.”

“Hey, Abby said you were in here and I-” Discord began as he walked into the room, freezing as he saw the state of its occupants. Catrix and I were still on the bed and Luna was stopped mid stride and could be mistaken for posing with her rear towards us, “I would trade my powers for your life.”

“What do you need Discord?” I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose at the situation.

“I was going to ask if we could talk, but I can see that you’re busy right now,” Discord replied, backing towards the door.

“Is it a private thing, or do you mind the others hearing?” I asked, stopping him.

“I don’t mind them at all, I was simply curious about your hostility when we met. I assumed we’d get along like old chums, what with our mutual love of putting on a show and all. Instead, I was attacked, beaten, and had to rewrite the universe just to survive. I expected Tia to react that way, but not you. Basically: why?” Discord asked.

“Dude, literally everyone I’ve ever talked to has called you a maniac and the closest thing to pure evil this world has. Then you show up talking about world domination and grand plans, how was I supposed to respond?” I countered.

“When you put it that way, I guess I did come on a little strong,” Discord conceded.

“Speaking of that day, what ever happened to Silk? I was a little busy bleeding to death to see,” I asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Luna responded, her ears lowering sadly.

“Luna, hiding from the past will only hurt you,” Catrix warned, sitting up to make eye contact with her. Discord’s eyes bugged out of his head for a second when she caught his attention. While she was partially under the sheets, it was only pulled up enough to hide exactly nothing.

“She jumped,” Luna said simply.

“What, out the window?” I guessed, tossing the sheet over Catrix’s head before Discord could have a stroke.

“Yes, I failed to capture her several times and she jumped rather than face justice for her crimes,” Luna explained.

“Sounds like she faced a trial by gravity. The result was the same in the end, I wouldn’t let it get you down,” I replied.

“She should have been tried by a jury of her peers,” Luna argued.

“She wouldn’t have lived that long anyway. I would have had her deep fried and served on a bun before you could even find one of her peers,” I shot back, causing Luna to recoil, “I’m sorry, did you forget that I eat people?”

“Kinda,” Luna admitted, looking uncomfortable with the thought.

“Come on Luna, we should talk,” Catrix suggested, sliding out of the bed with an unnecessary amount of contact before leading Luna out. ‘Always a team player.’

“So?” Discord attempted.

“I didn’t try to eat you because I thought I’d go insane,” I replied, assuming that was his next question.

“That disturbing thought aside, I’m not crazy. Chaos is a more sinister word for change, and change isn’t always a bad thing,” Discord said.

“Yet you took over the world,” I countered.

“For a time, yes, but I gave it back. I gave it all up, found a little place to lord over, and retired,” Discord admitted.

“Then why were you sealed?” I asked. I didn’t believe anything he was saying, though I was conflicted because he hadn’t lied to me before.

“Those two alicorns, I forget their names, were all about order, they decided I was their enemy and attacked over and over. Eventually I got tired of them and imprisoned their souls, but then the next generation shows up at my door and wants to fight. I was so tired of fighting all the time, I let them win,” Discord continued sadly.

“Right. And the insanity you caused around the world?” I pressed, looking for some contradiction in his story.

“What insanity? Mental conditions are part of life, that’s like blaming animal attacks on you. Sure I made gravity do some odd things and houses were made out of mushrooms and marshmallows, but nothing malicious. Ask Tirek, he hated me for not living up to the standards of evil he thought a dictator should be,” Discord suggested. A search of my stolen memories confirmed that part at least, Tirek thought Discord was a pushover.

“So he did. I’m going with a trust but verify approach to your claims, don’t be a prick and you might get that friendship you assumed before,” I offered, wondering if I would regret this decision.

“Thanks Jekyll. If you ever need anything, give a holler. I’ll come running, provided I can hear you,” Discord replied gratefully.

‘Would the Jay I know really do that? He’s protective and he did crush that zebra, but would he ignore the rule of law like that? Could he just pass judgment on somepony and murder them with no reservations? No, he’d have sympathy for the criminal, he’d just kill them anyway. What kind of person could do that?’

“Stop,” Catrix commanded, which was odd because we weren’t moving.

“Stop what?” I asked.

“Overthinking it. Jay would’ve killed that pony, but he could’ve done much worse. He could’ve opened a portal and tossed her to us, it wouldn’t be the first time,” Catrix replied, her words sending a chill up my spine.

“Every day it seems I know him less,” I said, feeling the familiar presence of my depression forming in the back of my mind.

“You should think about it that every day you know him more,” Catrix suggested, her arm resting across my shoulders supportively.

“I didn’t even know he had demon friends before yesterday,” I continued, my mood darkening further. I dropped to a seated position and allowed myself to cry.

“No one does until they become his friends. Luna, all of Jay’s friends are friends with each other too, you’re just going through the ‘meet the crew’ stage right now,” Catrix explained gently, her arm tightening into a soft hug.

“I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know how to feel anymore. Jay is the best thing that ever happened to me, but at the same time he’s a cold blooded killer. How am I supposed to deal with this?” I asked, breaking into sobs as I leaned into my newest friend.

“There are two sides to that germ in the next room: there’s Jay, the easygoing guy that arrived at the Crystal Kingdom with a gryphon husk, and there’s Legate Jekyll the Horror, the warrior and battlefield commander that Sombra made to save the world. It’s like two sides of the same bit, he just defaults to his more violent mentality when times get rough. If it helps to think of them as different people, he won’t hold it against you,” Catrix explained, sending a lance of fear though my heart.

“Like the Nightmare?” I asked fearfully. The thought of Jekyll falling the same way I did was terrifying to me.

“No, not like that, it’s not a split personality. He’s always the same Jay, he’s just… This is really hard to explain. Have you ever met any old soldiers? Where they freak out over loud sounds and go for a weapon if someone starts shouting?” Catrix asked, reminding me of the captain of the guard when I was young. He would jump at every sound and lash out if somepony walked behind him, I remembered one time where he started screaming during a thunderstorm and tackled Celestia protectively. ‘Mother had him hanged for scratching Tia’s regalia.’

“Yes, one,” I answered, still shaken over the thought of a Nightmare Jekyll.

“He’s like that, but he functions a fair bit better. Now come on, you were heading to the shower, where is it?” Catrix asked.

“Abby, could you make me a shower, please?” I requested politely. Flaps of skin fell from the ceiling around us.

“I started heating the water some time ago, it should be exactly how you like it. Miss Catrix, the curtains should be light enough for you to move without issue, though I will be happy to assist if that is not the case,” Abaddon replied politely, raising my preferred brands of soap and shampoo in a pair of tendrils.

“I could get used to this, whole place is mobile and comes with a badass butler to boot,” Catrix praised, after a couple seconds I realized she wasn’t moving.

“Uh, Cat? Abby’s waiting for you to leave so he can start the shower,” I informed her.

“Don’t wait on me, I’m not going anywhere,” Catrix replied, causing me to stand in alarm. Did she intend to bathe with me?

“Eeep,” I managed.

“Lesson one was figuring out what you want, lesson two is the first step on that journey. My goal is for you to be comfortable in your own fur, no matter what’s going on around you. You were naked ten minutes ago, you’re naked now, what’s wrong with being naked and wet?” Catrix pressed.

“Bathing is a private affair, sharing a bath is intimate. I’ve never even bathed with my sister,” I rambled, wondering what other surprises were in store for me today.

“Of course it’s intimate, that’s why it’s me in here instead of Jay. You’re scared of intimacy, that’s why you act all sexy to prank people. It’s the scariest thing you can think of, right?” Catrix countered. I was shocked; she didn’t make any sense, but at the same time she did.

I opened my mouth to argue, but couldn’t find any words. Was she right? No, I wasn’t afraid of intimacy, and I could prove it.

“I can masturbate,” I declared confidently.

“Congratulations, so can every other colt and filly that’s too scared to talk to the opposite sex,” Catrix deadpanned, effortlessly shooting down my argument.

“Abaddon, tell her. Tell her I’m not afraid of intimacy,” I ordered, hoping Abaddon would have some argument that I couldn’t think of.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I have to agree with Miss Catrix. Aside from a single drunken night, the closest you have gotten was some light teasing that left you more flustered than your intended victim. You have also shown clear signs of mental trauma from your brief time with Miss Lucky, a trait I did not observe in her children nor her patrons,” Abaddon responded.

“Why?” I asked, not sure what I was asking.

“I don’t know, I’d need more information about your childhood to give you a real answer. The good news is that I don’t need to know why yet, though I will later on. Right now we’re just edging you in the right direction. It’s just a shower with me today, maybe have Jay wait outside tomorrow, and then I’ll trade places with him the day after that,” Catrix replied, moving behind me and massaging my shoulders with her delicate fingers.

“How do you know me better than I do?” I wondered aloud as warm water started to rain down on us.

“Would you believe me if I told you I was in the same position, once upon an age?” Catrix replied, taking the shampoo and working it into my mane. I had come to a conclusion, being washed was weird.

“No, you’re too confident,” I answered.

“Well I was. It was right after Shay and Tyr pulled me out of Tartarus and helped me get to the Crystal Kingdom, we were always close because we looked the same but they saved me that day. You see, Tartarus was much more feral in those days and succubi like me were never summoned. It wasn’t because no one wanted us, but our incubus masters wouldn’t let us go. We were their property, their toys, and their practice, but Shay and Tyr snuck me out one night and we made a run for an open gate. We decided to be sisters after that, but I still had the mentality of a slave for a long time. It took me over two hundred years to figure out who I wanted to be, I wanted to be strong, I wanted to help people like my sisters helped me,” Catrix confessed, never stopping her combined washing and scalp massage.

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea,” I apologized, amazed that she could stand being in the same room with a male after what she had endured.

“Thank you. I know what you went through during the Nightmare Moon stuff was terrible, but you can still be whoever you want to be. I’m not going to tell you that my life was harder because there’s no scale for trauma, I only want the same thing you do. Be happy Lu, be happy all the time,” Catrix continued, swapping out the shampoo for the soap and continuing onto my neck.

“Jay’s the only one that calls me that,” I said, slightly off put by her use of the nickname.

“Is that your thing? Sorry,” Catrix apologized. I closed my eyes as the shampoo began running down my face and soon felt a weight on my back, “Don’t mind me, I couldn’t reach from where I was.”

“It’s fine,” I replied. I wondered how to pay Catrix back for all she was doing for me, it would have to be something big. Something special that she would never forget. Catrix continued to shuffle down my back as she worked, only pausing when she reached my wings.

“Go ahead and extend the left one,” she ordered.

“You intend to preen me as well?” I asked, shocked. I’d never been preened by anyone.

“Yep, too bad Abby didn’t provide any oil. I’ll figure something out,” Catrix replied confidently. At her words, a third tendril rose from the floor with a bottle of preening oil held in its grip, “That’s convenient, I was worried I’d have to rip my liver out or something.”

“You’d do that?” I asked in a mix of horror and gratitude.

“Nah, more likely that I’d just think of the last time I conquered Jay and use my own fluids,” Catrix laughed, already working her fingers through my feathers.

“As disgusting as that is, it brings up a question I’ve had for a while now. What is your relationship with Jay?” I asked. I was afraid of the answer but I had to know.

“We’re friends. We used to meet up everyday for tea back in the kingdom. After I took an arrow through the eye during the fall, I made my way to the palace and never left. Jay’s influence kept me from becoming a slave again,” Catrix replied easily.

“I meant sexually,” I corrected.

“Oh, that. You married the only male that never wanted me. I assume he told you about his promotion party? After that it became a challenge, a competition of wills. After a while I learned that Jay didn’t know he was playing and bribed Doctor Death into setting us up under the guise of an experiment. After the fall it was different, Jay stopped by every few years to make sure we weren’t trying to break out or kill each other more than usual and I fell into the position of his personal concubine. Being Jay, he didn’t really care. But it did offer me the opportunity to try again every time he showed up, I tried every pick up line imaginable, I literally threw myself at him a couple times, and I tried asking him to help me stave off boredom. That was the one that worked. Turns out that he’ll do anything asked by a friend, provided he has time. If you want him, all you have to do is ask,” Catrix explained like she was reading a recipe, “Other wing.”

“He made love to you because you asked him to?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“No. Making love is the physical connection between lovers, fucking is two consenting adults working their frustrations out on each other. I got him to fuck me a few hundred times,” Catrix corrected.

“Hundred?!”

“It’s been a thousand years, a lust demon has needs you know.”

“Still, a few hundred times?” I pressed, inwardly wondering why I found this distressing. They were never really a couple and I knew Jay didn’t care about those kinds of things, Catrix was simply taking advantage of his way of thinking. It didn’t hurt anyone, why was it hurting me now?

“Luna, I can see your scowl from here. But you should know that I tried to jump him when he summoned me, can you guess what he said? That he was married now, he chose you over me. Don’t let my entertainment over the last millennia keep you from being happy, he’s yours now and I’m thrilled to see him go,” Catrix continued as she finished with my right wing and turned around to work on my tail.

“You aren’t jealous or resentful? I probably would be,” I admitted.

“Fuck no. I knew what we were from the start, it sure as shit wasn’t a couple. Our relationship was closer to the one you have with that toy Lucky gave you,” Catrix replied with a scoff.

“Are you two alive in there? It’s been an hour!” Jekyll called through the door. I heard it open a second later while I was still searching for what to say, “That might be the most confusing shadow I’ve ever seen, it’s like a reverse centaur. Which way is the front? Which way is the front?”

“Girl talk,” Catrix finally said, coming to my rescue.

“Oh, one sec. Okay, I’m a girl now too. What’re ya talking about?” Jekyll continued obliviously, going as far as peeking his head through the curtain.

“You,” Catrix replied easily.

“Right, should’ve guessed. Should I step out?” Jekyll asked, moving away slightly.

“Either step out or step in, just pick a direction,” I snapped with more emotion than intended.

I stepped in.

“Are those my tits? Did you steal my tits?” Catrix accused the instant she saw me.

“No,” I lied, badly.

“You know what? I’m not even mad. If you want to wander around with boobs, you might as well wear some nice ones. Now grab the soap and start working on your wife’s legs. Just do the front, I’ve got the back,” Catrix ordered.

“You okay with this, Lu?” I asked as I set to my assigned task.

“I’m getting there. The good news is that I’m coming to terms with your relationship with Cat, though I’m somewhat angry that she used you for so long,” Luna replied.

“Used me?” I continued, more to make conversation.

“Yes, she even compared you to Lucky’s gift,” Luna answered to Catrix's amusement.

“A fair comparison, but I knew that as well. There’s no one at fault here, there isn’t even anything wrong with it. Cat’s allowed to find comfort however she can, just like you and I are. I find it in my army and using them to better help my friends, you seem to find comfort in me. Shit Luna, Cat wasn’t even my first, Chilly was before her. And that’s only counting this body,” I explained.

“I get that, but it still caught me off guard. Wait, you don’t count your life before you came here?” Luna asked, looking at me curiously.

“Jack Robak died a long time ago, at the ripe old age of thirty-one,” I replied.

“Is that a normal age for humans to die?” Luna pressed.

“Not even middle aged, ponies and humans have similar lifespans. But I’m not Jack anymore and I haven’t been for a long time,” I continued.

“You never told me your original name. Hold onto this one Luna, he really cares about you,” Catrix advised.

“I intend to, but I’m also pruning. Doesn’t this thing ever run out of water?” Luna complained.

“Nope, it cycles back through after being filtered. I always hated running out of hot water,” I replied.

“Either way, let me rinse off and I’ll clean Cat before getting out. It’s only fair,” Luna requested.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ve got demon perks,” Catrix replied with a wave of her hand as she hopped off Luna’s back. Once Luna had rinsed the soap out of her fur, Abaddon retracted the shower into the ceiling.

“Demon perks?” Luna asked as Catrix stepped away from the rest of us, sharing a knowing grin with me before she burst into flames.

“Demon perks,” she said simply once the fire went out. The water continued to steam off her form, along with the remains of any grime that escaped the shower.

“Well, that’s new,” Luna commented, having also been dried by her proximity.

“I wish I could figure that one out, I bet it comes with fireproofing,” I groused.

“Don’t you have a team for that?” Luna pointed out.

“It’s on their list of things to do, but there are more pressing things for them to work on at the moment,” I replied.

“Sciency types, I assume?” Catrix guessed, her flames going out as she returned to the conversation.

“Yep, and speaking of sciency types, there’s a certain unicorn waiting for you. Just remember to tell her that there’s no rush,” I reminded the demon with a wink.

“You mean…” Catrix trailed off.

“I have no intention of forcing you to return to Tartarus and, provided Luna doesn’t mind, I’d like to offer you a place here,” I clarified, getting a nod from Luna at my implied question.

“You want me around so Luna here has another friend nearby, don’t you?” Catrix accused.

“Yep,” I replied.

“I’d love to. Besides, isn’t it the royal concubine’s duty to tend to the needs of the king and queen?” Catrix asked with a smirk befitting her species.

“Cat?” Luna asked nervously.

“She was talking about you,” I clarified.

“That’s what I was worried about,” Luna admitted, freezing as she felt Catrix’s tongue run along the edge of her ear.

“I missed a spot earlier, couldn’t have you go out at anything less than your best,” Catrix lied, already moving towards Luna’s other ear.

“Whenever you decide you’re done being molested, Twilight’s probably pacing around the library in a panic. Luna’s horn flashed in alarm when the end of her ear entered Catrix’s mouth.

“Bitch!” Luna swore, wincing in pain. We had appeared in the street outside the library, and we had already gotten several looks.

“Your high-Luna? Is that you?” Twilight asked, throwing the door open with more force than necessary.

“She fucking bit me, ow,” Luna complained as she attempted to inspect her ear. While she couldn’t see the damage, I could. Walking over and laughing lightly, I administered a mild anesthetic to dull the pain caused by Catrix’s sharklike teeth.

“Sorry,” Catrix said sheepishly.

“At least you didn’t take it off, it’ll heal in a few hours,” I told both of them.

“Let’s just get inside before Cat starts a riot,” Luna grumbled.

“And I won’t?” I asked in mock offense, placing a hand on my chest dramatically, “So a light red nudist can start a riot but a black one can’t? Y’all are being racist again.”

“Jay, shut the fuck up and get in the public building,” Luna ordered, “You too, you bitey whore.”

“Be glad it wasn’t Jay nibbling on your ear, he plays for keeps,” Catrix warned as she walked into the library.

“I also have better control of my reflexes,” I added as I followed her in.

“You both will be the death of me,” Luna whined before finally walking in herself.

“Dibs on the sofa,” Catrix called, flopping onto the couch with a negative amount of manners.

“Feel free to sit on her, her bones will bend instead of breaking,” I informed the others.

“I believe I shall test that, I owe her for my ear,” Luna agreed, casually walking over to the couch and sitting on Catrix’s legs.

“Uh, is this normal?” Twilight asked.

“When I’m involved, there is no normal,” I replied, opting to sit on the floor with my back against the couch.

“I guess I’ll just get started then, what’s Tartarus like? Please, go into as much detail as you like,” Twilight began, sitting at a nearby table that held several stacks of paper and multiple quills and ink wells.

“From your perspective, the best word would be unforgiving. Gangs of demons roam the land and they constantly prowl for weaker types to practice on. Bloats and rippers are usually at the top of the chain, unless a greater decides to get involved. After that are incubi and pretties, then us succubi, and finally skamps and imps. Skamps are what you’d probably imagine a typical demon looks like, they have red skin, goatlike horns, cloven feet, and dull claws. Imps sorta look like Jay’s normal form, but they have four jaws and twelve eyes. Both are dumber than a box of hammers and basically serve as food for the rest of us,” Catrix explained.

“And rippers, the ones that are so dangerous, what are they like?” Twilight continued when she caught up on her notes.

“Jay?” Catrix requested.

“Jeff,” I ordered. The package from the previous day rose from the floor next to me. I retrieved my sword and opened another portal in the wall.

“Hey boss, sending Cat back already?” Harry asked when he saw me.

“No, you’re a prop,” I replied simply. I stepped aside so the others could see the demon on the other side.

“About what I was expecting,” Luna commented over Twilight’s terrified screaming.

“Hi Harry,” Catrix called in greeting.

“Hi Cat,” the ripper called back with a friendly wave.

“Would you calm down already? He’s just sitting there,” Catrix requested. Twilight kept screaming like she was being murdered and attempted to crawl away without taking her eyes off the immobile demon.

“It’s fine Cat, I haven’t heard screams like this since before Discord ruled the world,” Harry said contentedly, savoring the scream like a fine wine. I swiped the end of my sword across the portal, closing it and taking away Twilight’s nightmare fuel.

“I’m sorry, but can we take a short recess?” Twilight requested once she calmed herself down enough to talk.

“A bit more than you were expecting?” I jibed.

“Twilight, there is no cause for fear, that demon couldn’t harm you if it wanted to,” Luna added.

“It couldn’t? Was that portal for communications only?” Twilight asked, shakily returning to her hooves.

“No, but Harry knows that I’m much more dangerous than he is,” I replied, “I also have a better sense of smell, I won’t stop you from cleaning yourself up.”

“Thanks,” Twilight said before rushing to the bathroom.

“He wasn’t that scary,” Luna commented.

“You’re comparing him to me,” I noted.

“Yes, you’re considerably scarier when you’re angry,” Luna agreed.

“Twilight hasn’t seen me get angry, most don’t live long enough to talk about it when I do. Pissing oneself over seeing a ripper for the first time is a normal reaction,” I countered.

“Did you?” Luna asked.

“I don’t piss, I’m also aware of how little they can do to me,” I pointed out.

“Seeing a normal reaction is weird at this point, I don’t know how to feel about that,” Luna commented.

“You have a few,” Catrix argued, “Like if I told you bone bending is erotic to succubi.”

“I have eyes like Jay’s, I know you’re lying,” Luna deadpanned.

“Fine, just kill all the fun. Why not put it in camps while you’re at it?” Catrix complained.

“Yeah ya fun nazi,” I added. Getting a bunch of demons to reenact Hellsing Abridged was the best decision I had ever made.

“Hit me,” Catrix ordered, holding her hand out for a high-five as I returned to my chosen seat.

“You wrecked that line, might have to track down your Seras costume and redo the whole show,” I threatened as I completed my side of the high-five and sat down.

“Ug, only if you find a new actor for Bernadotte, I’m never kissing a pretty again,” Catrix groaned.

“How many demons do you know that have a prench accent?” I argued.

“Figure something else out,” Catrix insisted.

“Luna can be Pip,” I offered.

“She’s more of an Integra, that yellow one’s got the hair though,” Catrix mused.

“Shy’d have a heart attack and die during the Brazil scene,” I countered.

“Shit, that’s a good point. I guess it’ll have to wait until we can find a good Pip,” Catrix conceded.

“What are you talking about?” Twilight asked as she returned.

“I set up a play a while back so my friends would get some of my jokes, but Cat just messed one of the lines up so I want to show it again. The problem is that we’re down an actor,” I replied.

“Apparently I’m something called an Integra,” Luna added.

“What kind of character are you looking for?” Twilight continued.

“Badass mercenary captain that hits on the girl the whole show and then goes out in a blaze of glory,” I responded with a shake of my head.

“Sounds like something Rainbow would be great for,” Twilight suggested.

“She can’t do the accent and her hair’s too short. Bernadotte has a braid that reaches all the way down his back and a prench accent. The hair’s forgivable, but the accent is a major issue,” I countered.

“Rarity fakes her prench accent, I’m sure she could help. This sounds like fun, Fluttershy can handle the music and I can coordinate everything. That leaves AJ, Rainbow, and Pinkie for actors, Rarity would obviously be on costume duty,” Twilight thought aloud.

“Fun she says,” Catrix laughed.

“What?” Twilight asked.

“Twilight, Hellsing’s a horror show about a secret organization that hunts vampires. Their favorite method is tossing a stronger vampire at them and watching him tear them limb from limb,” I explained.

“How bad would the play be?” Twilight inquired, already going pale.

“Rows one through twelve are in the splash zone,” Catrix laughed, referencing a sign we had posted during the original showing. We had five rows.

“I take it back, I don’t want my friends getting killed over a play,” Twilight relented, backing away.

“Jay, couldn’t you have your enforcers mimic the original characters?” Luna suggested.

“They’d have to load up on either something else’s blood or a passable substitute, but that would work,” I agreed.

“What’s an enforcer?” Catrix and Twilight asked at the same time.

“My soldiers, picture me but a foot shorter and with more lupine heads,” I explained before reaching a conclusion I didn’t like, “Ah crap, I’d have to be Seras, they can’t change their eye color.”

“Yeah, we had to swap roles for those scenes,” Catrix agreed.

“That actually settles it, we’ll use my enforcers. I’ll throw it together when we have some time, didn’t you have some more questions?” I prompted.

“Right. So Catrix, what did you do before you traveled to the Crystal Em-Kingdom?” Twilight asked obliviously.

“Twilight,” Luna warned, shaking her head.

“What? Was it something bad?” Twilight continued.

“Let it go, it’s a sore subject,” I advised, twisting so I could hold Catrix’s arm supportively. I noticed Luna mirroring my action.

“I’m fine, I made my peace with it a long time ago. You can ask if you want, but you won’t like the answer,” Catrix allowed.

“Will it aid in my research?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, my fate was the same as the rest of my kind,” Catrix replied.

“You don’t have to answer, but the scientific community and I would appreciate it. What was your life like as a citizen of Tartarus?” Twilight reiterated.

“I assume Jay told you what incubi are like, what he didn’t tell you is that they’re like that all the time. They preyed on us like the cruel monsters they are. You asked me what my life was like, it was a hell within a hell. I couldn’t even be summoned because my owner wouldn’t let me go. Jay outlawed the practice, but it still happens. The ones I call my sisters stole me during their run for the kingdom and I’ll never be able to repay them for it,” Catrix explained even though it was clearly painful for her.

“I’m so sorry, but could you be more specific. Were you tortured or…” Twilight reluctantly pressed.

“Twilight, that’s enough. Just say that she endured unspeakable horrors,” Luna ordered, moving off Catrix’s legs so she could better hold her.

“I don’t understand, what happened?” Twilight asked, confused.

“Luna, get Cat out of here, I feel a genocide coming on,” I ordered, remembering when Catrix had told me precisely why she was terrified of leaving the palace.

“Jay, no. You’ll upset the balance,” Catrix warned.

“Fuck the balance, you’ve lived in fear for too long,” I spat as I reached for where I had set Cataclysm.

“The imps will get their power, it’ll be chaos,” Catrix pleaded, “Please, it’s better this way. I’d go though it all again rather than risk the world like that.”

“I’ll kill them too. Fuck it, genocidal rage for everyone,” I snarled as my rage form manifested.

“There are billions of them and they’ll get stronger with every one you kill. Even if you won, it’d be eons before we saw you again. I also don’t know what it would do to me or the other succubi, my sisters might not survive the changes when the kingdom returns,” Catrix argued, jumping over to grab my sword arm.

“Gah, FUCK!” I swore, throwing my ancient sword at the wall. The blade returned to its usual green steel as it left my hand and embedded itself harmlessly in the wall.

“Jay, what was that about?” Luna asked as I returned to my normal size and shape.

“I hate them, I never wanted that wretched place to begin with but I hate the incubi the most. Making Cat relive what they did to her would have been the cruelest thing either of you have ever been a party to,” I raged.

“The last time you killed a bunch of demons, the imps learned how to talk and I grew claws. There’s no way to know what we would become if you went on a rampage,” Catrix warned, “The balance is there for a reason, it keeps us from getting too powerful.”

“This is the point where I usually find some slaving dogs to strangle, at least they stay dead. How are you so calm about this?” I raged as I sat back onto the couch, too mentally exhausted to act on my anger anymore.

“Because I need to be. Just like Twilight here, controlling herself enough to focus on her research instead of just ogling me,” Catrix replied.

“Thanks Miss Infernus, but I’m actually on libido suppressants,” Twilight rebuked politely.

“That’s a thing?” Luna asked. Her tone sounded shocked, but I suspected that she was attempting to steer the conversation towards a friendlier topic.

“Oh yes, they’re fairly new but I think I have a book on them around here somewhere. I think it was called ‘Freeing the Mind,’” Twilight replied, taking the bait eagerly.

“Sounds unnatural to me,” Catrix commented, her disgust clear on her face.

“I can see how it may be beneficial. Though I also understand your position Cat, it goes against your nature,” Luna added.

“Whatever, can we get back to the questions?” Catrix requested, trying to escape the topic of modern medicine.

“Okay, let’s avoid that last question if we can. How does summoning a demon work?” Twilight asked.

“A bunch of magic ritual stuff, that you won’t hear from me, tears a hole in reality. It homes in on whatever demon you have in mind, but is open to any others that may be nearby. Specific demons may be selected if you know them, which is how Jay summoned me and showed you Harry, but otherwise a random one will be chosen,” Catrix explained.

“And how did Mister Jekyll do that? I didn’t see any rituals,” Twilight pressed.

“My sword can be used as a substitute, the details of how this is accomplished are related to how I ended the Second Awakening,” I replied.

“Classified then, inconvenient,” Twilight commented, crossing out one of her notes.

“I’ve figured it out, and I can safely say that you’re better off not knowing,” Luna advised.

“You have?” I asked, surprised.

“I do have a basic understanding of what happened during the first one. Between that and your particular way of doing things, it wasn’t terribly difficult,” Luna bragged.

“Then Miss Infernus and I are the only ones who don’t know?” Twilight asked.

“I was there,” Catrix pointed out.

“Great, you don’t seem to care about this classified nonsense, you can tell me what happened,” Twilight said excitedly.

“I’m actually with Luna on this one, the details I’d need to tell you for anything to make sense aren’t for innocent ears,” Catrix replied.

“Aaaarg, what will it take for one of you to tell me? It’s driving me crazy!” Twilight shouted in frustration.

“A life or death situation that depends on it and for you to toughen up,” I answered.

“Ponyfeathers. Well that’s all I have for now, could you come back tomorrow? I should have some more questions by then,” Twilight requested.

“Sure, I’ll be around for a while anyway, I’m helping teach Luna a few things,” Catrix agreed, causing Twilight to turn bright red as she made connections that didn’t exist.

“Self-confidence my student, Cat has some skill in the field of psychology,” Luna clarified to Twilight’s relief.

“Hey Twilight can I have some bits? Winona ran off with my baseball,” Spike requested as he barged into the library, not noticing that his guardian had company.

“Spike, please don’t slam the door. And sure, go ahead and get some from my purse,” Twilight allowed, placing her hoof over her eyes in embarrassment.

“Thanks Twi-Is that Princess Luna? Hi Princess,” Spike greeted, causing Luna to turn and offer a friendly wave. Spike froze when Catrix did as well.

“Spike right? I’m Catrix, but everyone calls me Cat,” Catrix said, introducing herself.

“You’re pretty-sorry, I meant to say hello,” Spike stumbled. Catrix’s gaze turned analytical as she stood and walked over to the young dragon.

“Interested in females, likely in the first stages of puberty. Growth would appear stunted to an untrained eye. Wings absent, curious. Other development typical for a drake this small,” Catrix noted as she inspected the stunned dragon, even lifting some of his scales to better gauge his health.

“Miss Infernus, what are you doing?” Twilight asked, concerned about her actions toward her surrogate child.

“Subject is physically healthy, diagnosis for small size is non-standard upbringing,” Catrix concluded.

“What does that mean? Are you implying that it’s my fault Spike’s so small? He’s still a baby dragon,” Twilight huffed indignantly.

“Not quite, you’ve given him the chance to be great. But it will take longer for his body to match his mental maturity, he hasn’t been given the opportunity to live a greedy life. Continue living as you have been Spike, you’ll fill out eventually,” Catrix advised.

“Can you be my doctor forever?” Spike requested dreamily, completely lost in Catrix’s looks.

“I’m not a doctor, I’ve just known a few dragons during my time. As for what you really want, find me in sixty years or so,” Catrix offered with a wink that made Spike faint on the spot, “I’ve still got it.”

“Was that necessary?” Twilight deadpanned.

“Nope,” Catrix replied cheerfully.

“I’ve found that it’s easier to just find the humor in these moments,” Luna advised.

“I guess it is kinda funny,” Twilight admitted, “Hey, I just thought of something. I forgot to get your age.”

“Twilight, in most circles it is rude to ask a lady’s age,” Luna admonished lightly.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Catrix replied with a dismissive wave as she returned to the couch with an unconscious Spike in her arms, “But it gets further into demon physiology, you might need a new paper.”

“Right, one second, okay I’m ready,” Twilight mumbled as the frantically got a new paper ready.

“The shortest answer would be: since the beginning, but I suspect you want a better answer. Demons are more magic than flesh, I can be cut, stabbed, and quartered, but I’ll regenerate. Jay can kill us because when he eats something, he consumes its magic power as well. This causes the natural magic of Tartarus to be spread over fewer individuals and get stronger, but I’m getting off topic. To use myself as an example, my share of Tartarus’s power allows me to bend and flex in ways you would consider impossible. I don’t think I need to tell you why,” Catrix began, pausing to allow Twilight to catch up.

“Thank whatever’s out there I don’t get that shit, I’m already demony enough,” I added.

“It would help for my notes,” Twilight said after a moment of furious writing.

“Jay told you earlier,” Luna reminded her.

“Oh yeah. Okay, please continue,” Twilight requested with a wave of her hoof.

“As I was saying, my gift is flexibility, but all demons are fed life energy by the same force. No one really knows where we came from or why Tartarus naturally keeps us alive, but we were the first beings on this world. I don’t say that meaning my ancestors, I don’t have any, I have been alive since the birth of this planet,” Catrix continued.

“But that was over four billion years ago!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Has it been that long? The surface was still a land of lava and fire the first time I saw it. You see, we don’t have children. Most of us don’t even have genders, though we refer to them by their looks. Succubi are female and incubi are male, but none of the others have any reproductive organs at all. We’re timeless and we don’t care about our age, it wouldn’t make sense to when everyone you know is exactly as old as you,” Catrix reasoned.

“Then all of the other demons are your brothers and sisters?” Twilight asked foolishly. I cringed internally, I’d made the same mistake once. Twilight hit the floor in a daze as Catrix rained punches into her face before being pulled away by a combination of Luna’s magic and my tendrils.

“They’re not my brothers! They’ll never be my family!” Catrix screeched as she attempted to claw and bite her way out of her restraints.

“Luna! Abaddon! Now!” I ordered as Catrix burst into flame, forcing me to back off. Luna nodded and teleported away with Catrix.

“Ow, my head,” Spike complained, having been thrown into a bookshelf when Catrix attacked.

“Jeff, help him. I’ve got the bookworm,” I ordered as I lifted Twilight and carried her up the stairs towards her bedroom.

“What happened? What’d I do?” Twilight slurred, bruises were already starting to form ugly splotches across her face.

“You asked the wrong question, simple as that,” I replied sympathetically.

“Am I gonna be okay? Is Miss Infernus mad at me?” Twilight asked, her slur already fading slightly as painkillers numbed the region.

“You’ll heal, it’s just some bruising. Cat’ll be fine in a few minutes, two hours tops. She’s not actually mad at you, just that question. It’s the one part of her life that she can’t accept,” I answered.

“Why?” Twilight pressed.

“You never figured it out? Fine, I’ll spell it out for you. Cat’s been alive for a few billion years right? Well, the Crystal Kingdom was only about four hundred years old when I got there, but Cat had been there for around three hundred already. Add in the thousand years she’s spent under my protection, and that’s thirteen hundred years of peace in her entire life. The rest of the time she was constantly raped and tortured by one incubus or another, the same ones you insinuated were her brothers,” I explained.

“That’s why you hate them,” Twilight realized, her eyes widening as far as they could through the swelling that was starting to occur, “I could’ve figured that out, I should’ve figured that out. I’m a terrible pony.”

“Don’t beat yourself up too bad, Cat already did. Besides, she once beat my face in too,” I joked, though my tone was consoling.

“But you’re Jekyll, not even Princess Celestia could beat you,” Twilight argued as I set her in her bed to rest.

“Thanks, now I know who to turn to if I ever have amnesia. But honestly, Chelly could teleport me into the sun anytime she wanted,” I countered.

“If she hates you so much, why hasn’t she?” Twilight asked drowsily. My hand was resting on her shoulder comfortingly, but also feeding her painkillers and sedatives.

“Because she’s a hateful cunt and she needs someone to be a hateful cunt towards,” I replied, “Now you just rest, I’m sure Luna will be happy to heal you when you wake up.”

“I can’t sleep yet, I gotta know Spike’s okay,” Twilight argued, trying to rise as her thoughts drifted to her friend.

“I’m right here Twilight, she didn’t even throw me that hard,” Spike said from his basket at the foot of Twilight’s bed.

“C’mere buddy,” Twilight ordered, attempting to lift Spike with her magic despite the drugs running through her system.

“What’re you doing?” Spike asked in alarm as he was pulled over the edge of the bed.

“Don’t worry about it too much, she’s on a lot of painkillers right now. Fair warning though, Luna gets really affectionate when she’s like this and I’m betting Twilight’s going to be too,” I advised as I walked out of the room, leaving the young dragon to his fate, “At least that part was entertaining.”

As I left the library I happened across an odd sight, even by my standards. Pinkie was riding on top of a strange spiderlike creature that was furiously chasing Rainbow from rooftop to rooftop. I blinked a few times as I thought through this particular sign of the apocalypse, shrugged, and flew back to Abaddon.

“How’s my favorite motorhome?” I asked as I landed on Abaddon’s back and started for the door.

“Miss Catrix is currently confined to her room until she extinguishes herself, Mistress Luna is with the Sierras being treated for smoke inhalation, and I have sent three squads of Romeos to retrieve more biomatter to replace the amount destroyed by Miss Catrix. I miss Tzu, I got to joke around more when I didn’t have to do his job,” Abaddon complained as I walked though the door and into the hallway that led to Luna’s and my room.

“It’s been two days, he’ll be back once he’s completed his assignment,” I consoled.

“It’s still annoying, I’m not meant to be a proxy. I am a leviathan, I should be doing leviathan things,” Abaddon griped.

“Leviathan things? Like deciding you’re the king of an orchard or whatever Jeff is. Ug, it must be Tuesday, weird shit always happens on Tuesdays,” I groaned as I walked into my room and dropped onto the bed.

“It’s Monday,” Abaddon corrected.

“Is it at least close to nighttime?”

“It’s a little past noon.”

“Well fuck.”

Author's Notes:

This was a fun one to write, even if it went on for longer than I had intended. Hopefully it also answers any questions left over from the last few chapters. It was pretty exposition heavy, but I think it was called for at this point. Props to Twilight's obsession with learning for providing the perfect excuse for some more world building.
Militia's Editor's Note:
This chapter was good for clarifying some more points, as well as introducing some new ones. Had a good time with this one, and hope the rest follow suit.