Rousing from the camping bed I swiftly sit straight up, my body shaken, my eyes rapidly darting around the room. Everyone else seems to have awoken at the same time as me with varied expression, most seem to portray horror as if they've had their own personal nightmares. I find myself dazed from the events which took place as I slept, being forced to relive my past experiences was not something I was fond of. Seeing my memories of Jess and my friends stirred feeling of loneliness, the realisation that I will never see them again creates a sinking feeling in my gut.

My vision shrinks to the size of a pinhead as I just stare into space, the only thing I seem to notice is everyone around me speaking though I can only hear them as an inaudible mumble. Slowly they all huddle around in front of me trying to gain my attention. I just look straight through them without even acknowledging their existence.

The only thing which seems to rouse me from that state is when Twilight lightly rests her hoof against me. I shift my eyes onto hers yet still fail to comprehend anything she says, all I can see is her lips moving as she tries to communicate with me. I need to get out of here!

Like a madman I push forward knocking Twilight to the side, retrieving my boots I rapidly put them on and secure the quick release zip before sprinting to the door. Upon grasping the handle and opening the door I hear numerous muted calls of concern most likely trying to get me to stop, moving to the other side of the door I slam it shut before I continue sprinting off into the distance away from town.

As I run. the images from last night flash through my head. I managed to repress a few of my close encounters with IED's, but the spell Luna casted to allow the others to live my memories has brought them all back to the front of my train of though. As it's still early morning I manage to avoid large numbers of ponies on my possessed run.

After sprinting for a good five minutes I find myself at the entrance of the Everfree forest, not really caring where I go I dash straight into the opening and keep running along the dark path jumping over small rocks and tree roots as I pass. Following a few hundred meters my common sense slowly returns to me. There's supposed to be dangerous creatures in here, The realisation causes me to recover slightly from my shocked state which in turn makes me slow my pace. As soon as I begin to come to a halt I'm immediately jolted when I feel something impact my back, knocking me to the floor the weight remains on top of me.

"JOHN!" Chasers voice booms in my ear, "SNAP OUT OF IT!" Ignoring him I force my elbow back, making contact with the side of his chest. In response, he raises to stand on top of me and puts his whole weight onto my back knocking the air out of my lungs. "The buck has gotten into you!?"

"GET THE BLOODY HELL OF ME YOU BELLEND!" I force my hands into the ground and push my body weight up into Chaser causing him to lose his footing and stumble to the side. Standing up I swing a punch towards his head which he dodges, again I attempt to strike him in my rage but with ease he avoids it.

Facing me he lunges forward, his hooves pushing down on my shoulders knock me down to my back. Trying to raise my arms to strike I find myself unable to due to the pressure against my joints. Leaning closer to me he uses his wing to slap me across the face, snapping me slightly out of my enraged state. "John, calm down!"

Closing my eyes I try to take control of my breathing, slowing the pace as I allow my temper to settle. After a few deep breaths, I reopen my eyes looking up to Chaser, his expression showing concern and annoyance, "Get off me."

"Are you going to stop acting like a stupid colt?"

"I'll act how I fucking please..." Pausing I close my eyes as I take another deep breath, stirring slightly underneath his weight I speak through closed teeth, "Please get off me."

Shaking his head he steps to the side and holds his hoof out to me. Taking hold of his hoof, he pulls me closer to his body bringing me to a sitting position. "What has gotten into you?"

I release his hoof and push myself to my feet, "What do you think? Do you have any idea how hard it was going through all that? Reliving every bad thing that happened while I was in the army! My friends dying by IED's which was the one reason I was deployed there!"

Chaser turns away from me, in a quiet voice he replies, "N..no I don't, I'm pretty sure nopony does."

Stomping towards him I grasp his shoulder, well the pony equivalent of a shoulder, and turn him towards me, "Do you have any Idea what it is like to watch your friend die? The effort you put in to save him only for him to die below you."

His expression softens as his eyes finally meet mine, "No, John. And that's what scares me." I raise my eyebrow, anger forming again as I wait for him to continue. "You've seen war and lived through it, despite the few horrific events we saw you still somehow carry on. I... I don't think I can do that, to watch those I care for perish around me."

I pause as I watch him turn to slowly walk away, a tear in his eye, "There is a saying back home, 'war is hell.' You've seen the monstrosities an enemy can commit in war with my worlds technology, and even then they were undeveloped compared to us. That's why I'm reluctant to share it with you. You all have lived without any technological advances in the military yet have still found long lasting peace. If I change that then who knows what will happen to this world."

Nodding again he tilts his head to look at me, "I know. But with your technology it doesn't make it any easier, does it?"

"No. It really doesn't. That attack on the compound you saw when I first got to Afghanistan was the first time I had to kill, and from seeing that I realised that killing someone will be harder for all of you. I didn't hesitate to pull the trigger for the first one, it was either him or me, but when I was forced to fight the one with my hands I was pissing myself. He was just trying to survive as much as I was. I was forced to look him in the eyes as I had to kill him... and it terrified me." -Patting his back I begin to walk past him along the path leading towards Ponyville- "We should go and check up on the others, no doubt they are probably shaken up. Women right?" As I walk I hear a faint yet awkward chuckle behind me before Chaser jogs to catch up to me.

"Let's get back then. I heard last night that Pinkie was planning a party today for 'national random holiday party day' whatever that is, we probably shouldn't ruin it." I just snicker as we continue to walk. That's a made up holiday if ever I heard one.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once we return to the library I halt at the door, hand outstretched towards the handle. Chaser is standing alongside me looking up at me with some concern. I don't really want to keep going over my memories, but I need to clear some things up, they all likely think I'm a monster. Reluctantly I push the door open, inside the beds had been moved away. Luna was also gone and I couldn't see any of the others, the only thing indicating that anyone was home was the soft voices coming from the kitchens ajar door. Quietly I make my way towards it and stop alongside the frame, trying to hear what they have to say.

Rarity's is the first voice I can make out, "I can't believe everything he has been through, It's a miracle that he is even sane."

"He's sure been through a lot, that's for sure," Applejack says. "I knew he said he handled explosives, but what he did was just suicidal, he's lucky to be alive."

"Yet despite everything he's still here, fighting strong." If only you knew, Rarity. "I don't know why we even agreed to it, it was an idiotic thing to do."

Rainbow's voice breaks through "Yeah, poor Fluttershy." Fluttershy? Shit, I should have known that her seeing combat was a terrible idea. "Is she still upstairs with Twilight?"

I step away from the door as Rarity replies, "I believe so, they've been up there ever since." Making my way to the stairs I wait before climbing the first step, my eyes scanning the next floor.

"Hey, Chaser, do me a favour? Join the others in the kitchen and try to explain things to them. I need to speak to Fluttershy." Without waiting for a response I climb the staircase. Once I'm at the top I can see Fluttershy curled on top of Twilight's bed sobbing softly, Twilight sat on the bed alongside her.

Cautiously approaching the bed Twilight looks up to me, I can see the fur around her eyes are slightly damp indicating she had been crying as well. "John, you're back," Twilight hops off the bed and runs up to me, sanding on her back legs she leans forward wrapping me in a hug, "We were so worried, you just ran off and Night Chaser said that he would get you. We are so sorry."

Holding her in the hug I run my hand slowly through her mane, "You've got nothing to be sorry about, Twilight. I was an idiot for allowing you all to see my memories, it wasn't something you needed to see." After a few moments, Twilight pulls away from the hug, a soft smile on her face as she looks up to me. "Can you give me and Fluttershy a few minutes? I need to explain some things to her," Twilight glances back to Fluttershy's still weeping form, she nods then slowly makes her way down the staircase leaving just me and Fluttershy in the room.

Tentatively I join Fluttershy by sitting at the end of the bed, she fails to even notice my presence. Only God knows what is going through her mind. Leaning a bit closer I try to speak as softly to her as I can, "Fluttershy? It's me." My hand lightly presses against her side causing her to curl up even tighter, releasing a yelp as she does so.

She's almost like a child, trying to wrap herself up in a duvet to hide from all her fears. "Please, Fluttershy look at me," Slowly but surely her tear soaked face lifts from her position, looking at me her eyes fill with horror. As quick as she can her body shuffles to the other end of the bed, an attempt to create as much distance between us.

"You... killed all those other humans," Her voice squeaks, threatening to break down in tears. "All that pain and suffering."

"I had no choice. I had to kill them to save myself and others. Back home people who join the army say 'I will die for my country,' but we never say anything about killing." -Fluttershy looks away, staring out toward the window- "We are trained to, but it's not something we take lightly. I'm not happy that I killed, but I knew If I didn't act then it would have been myself who would bite the bullet or someone else down the line who would die by their hands because I failed to act."

"I understand that your actions helped your friends, but I just can't stand anypony getting hurt, no matter what they have done." Fluttershy sniffles as she runs her nose along her front leg.

Standing I step to the window, looking out I can see numerous ponies going about their business in town. "They say that it that it gets easier, to kill another. It's a complete lie, it doesn't get any easier but instead, you learn to cope with it. Everyone else here already sees me as a monster, you lot were the only ones who have even attempted to get to know me. I don't want you to think I'm some horrible being."

Fluttershy hops from the bed and slowly joins me by the window, "I don't see you as a monster, John. I'm just sorry that you had to go through all that fighting. Nopony should be made to hurt another. And seeing your friends get hurt whilst you were powerless to help, it's just awful."

Pushing back from the window I kneel down alongside her, "I know. I honestly don't know what happened to Williams. He could be making wise cracks in a hospital bed, in critical condition or even in the process of being shipped home in a box. Not knowing what happened to him scares me. I hope he's alive but I just can't -" Fluttershy interrupts me by wrapping me into a hug, I let myself relax in her embrace as I hold onto her.

"I know it's bad, but we will all help you through it," I don't know what it is but those words seem to force me to smile. Knowing that even in this new unknown world, I have some people who at least care for me.

"It's you that I have concerns about," Fluttershy gasps as her eyes lock to mine.

"Me? Why?"

"Not everyone copes well with what you witnessed, it eats away at their mind. My night terrors are more than likely as a result of it, I don't want any of you to be affected by it. I don't know if such a thing exists, but maybe we should see if Luna knows a way to remove those memories." Fluttershy just stares at me, after a moment of silence she nods.

"Okay... We can ask her, but I don't know yet. Seeing what you've been through may allow me to help you. If I forget then I won't know why you may be finding things difficult."

I smile to her again, "Just knowing you have the option can't hurt, right?" Fluttershy nods to me, wiping another tear from her eye. I pull away from the hug as I stand and begin to walk to the stairs, "Come on, we should let the overs know everything is okay." Fluttershy walks alongside me as we make our way to the kitchen. Lord knows how everyone here will cope with what they saw in the long run, or how I'll even cope with my own memories, but at least they won't have to go through it alone.

When we get to the kitchen the door is fully open, not wanting to waste any more time I walk straight in. Upon entering everyone falls silent, their eyes all fixated on me. Everyone's mood, for the time being, seems to have improved, the one who stands out is Pinkie as her hair somehow seems darker and her normal cheery smile has vanished.

"Pinkie? Is everything okay?" approaching Pinkie the others all move towards Fluttershy, likely to give us some space and to check on her.

"Yeah... I guess so," Her normally lively spirit seems to have been drained from her.

"You guess so?" I sit on the corner of the table alongside her, waiting for a response she fails to deliver. "Come on, Pinkie. You can talk to me."

"You lost your friends," Wow... thanks for being blunt there, "I can't imagine losing mine."

Sighing I rub my face, "I never thought I'd lose mine. At the end of the day no matter how hard we try we will all eventually lose our loved ones." Her head sinks lower upon hearing my words, "But we can't mope on what has and will happen. You make the most of what you have, spend every moment doing what you love with your friends and family." -Jumping off the table I step alongside her and lean down to her ear- "Isn't there a holiday party you need to throw for your friends?"

Pinkie seems to manage a small smile, not yet back to her full self but at least it's an improvement. "Are you going to help me prepare for national random holiday party day? We will be the best party planning duo."

I can't help but release a small chuckle, "Sure, I suppose I can do. It will be good to take everyone's minds off things." It will at least calm everyone for the time being. No doubt I will have to address these matter further in the future, but that can wait till the issues arise.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over the next hour myself and Pinkie had set up a variety of tables and decorations for her party. Her mood gradually improved as we talked through the decorations, her bubbly personality returning along with her trademark smile. She even had some sort of old portable cannon which fired confetti and decoration across the room, it was suitably called her party cannon. Pinkie had mostly worked to make a selection of drinks and snacks or everyone, she sure as hell managed to make quite a bit in the short time provided. It was also made a party requirement to wear some sort of weird hat, I didn't have one available so since Applejack was wearing a more decorative version of her stetson I decided that I may as well wear her original one.

The party had been going on for a short while now. It acted as a good way to move things on from the images everyone had seen earlier. Rainbow was going on about the new Daring do book to me, she was fairly excited for it. "In three months and twenty-six more days, I'll be able to read the next one."

Twilight steps into the conversation, "Oh, haven't you heard? The release of the next book got pushed another two months."

Rainbows face drops as spits out a drink she just began to enjoy. I whisper into her ear, "That's some shitty luck," -I stand back up to address Twilight- "Any reason in particular?"

"The publisher just said author A.K. Yearling won't be able to finish the book for another two months," Following this new information they entered a debate over who was the biggest fan boy of the book series. Rainbow soon learnt that Twilight could likely find out where A.K. Yearling lived, she was adamant that Twilight finds out so 'fans like her can read the new book ASAP.'

They're busy debating whether or not to go and find this author in order to assist her. I decide to step in, "I reckon you should go," They both look to me, Rainbow's face lights up with joy at my agreement. "It will act as a good distraction for you all."

Twilight steps to me, "Are you sure, John?"

"I'm Positive. Oh, and don't get into trouble Twilight as I won't be there to save you this time."

Twilight just smirks at me as she rolls her eyes, "What exactly will you be doing whilst we are away?"

I point to Sunny and Chaser across the room, "We've still got some training to do."

Who would have guessed that Rainbow Dash would be that much into a book that she'd turn into a stalker.