After Gregory had insisted on being alone, Maud returned home to find the delivery she’d been hoping for in her mail box. It was a package wrapped in brown paper, roughly the size and shape of a dictionary, and a letter signed from none other than the Princess of Friendship. She hurried inside and prepared a reading space.

Dear Maud Pie

I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to hear that you’ve been courting Gregory. Pinkie’s been practically talking my ear off with how cute you two look together and I can’t imagine her being wrong about this. However, knowing you, I imagine you’d like to get right down to business, so here it is.

Maud nodded as she read Twilight’s response, grateful for the alicorn cutting to the chase and giving her the good stuff.

In your letter you expressed concern about Gregory being a human pony and what issues might arise as a result. Once more I must say how thrilled I am, this time that you chose me to enlighten you on the ways of the most elusive of pony tribes. [Spike: That’s actually the abbreviated version. She actually went on and on about her credentials as Equestria’s leading expert in humans for, like, almost half an hour. And like half of it was just rambling on why Lyra’s credentials don’t count somehow and how she could’ve learned so much more if Gregory had just let her science him, or something like that. You can thank me later for skipping to the good parts.] There’s a lot of ground to cover, so we will begin by dividing our lesson into three key categories: history, biology, and behavior.

Maud snorted a laugh, imagining Spike with a cocky grin as he wrote that.

Biology

Humans are tall, bipedal, mammalian creatures who hail from another world, which they call Earth.

Maud skimmed through the first page detailing human physiology. It looked to be nothing more than what she could find in old tomes on the subject. She’d read it later, but right now it wasn’t what she needed.

No doubt you’ve already noticed the anatomical differences between Gregory and the average pony. Namely his relatively small eyes, ears that protrude more from the sides, and his sharp teeth. Each of the three tribes also come with their own distinct characteristics, the curved horn in Gregory’s case. Regarding the first two, you’ve no doubt noticed how these traits are remarkably similar to many of Equestria’s nobility. This is no coincidence as many great noble houses owe their founding to the human ponies of the past, which I will elaborate on in the history section.

Maud was sorely tempted to skip ahead to learn of her Gregory’s history, but trusted in Twilight’s organization skills and read on.

The third physical aspect, and generally considered the most frightening, are the sharp incisors and canines. Human ponies are omnivores, not carnivores, as they do have flat grinding teeth in the back. While some ponies, especially pegasi, will often enjoy consuming fish from time to time, human ponies are more akin to bat ponies in their regular need for animal proteins in order to maintain a healthy diet.

I’m guessing you’re already aware of this. But just in case, I must let you know that this is not something that can be ignored. Gregory will need to consume meat in order to live. Thankfully Canterlot has a sufficient population of bat ponies to allow easy access to consumable meat, but this may prove troublesome if you should decide to move elsewhere. I must also warn you that, despite the queens regularly consuming meat, the practice is still regarded with loathing by many ponies holding onto old prejudices. I doubt any would be so bold as to try anything, but it may still be something you will need to protect your stallion from.

Maud nodded. She’d heard the whispers uttered behind Gregory’s back whenever he’d eat meat. Each time she’d shot the troublesome gossipers a look of warning, and while it usually worked, it still hurt to hear such things about the stallion she cared for. Even so, she was a mare, and a Pie at that. It was her job to protect her stallion.

History

Since before the exodus from our homeland to Equestria, ponies have sought the great power held within humans. Though they have no magic, making them vulnerable to the magic-heavy atmosphere of our world, our ancestors sought to infuse them with magic to save their lives, resulting in the ponification potion. Knowledge over how this process began has been lost, but we can infer through surviving historical texts that human impact on pony society was significant.

It is said that humans brought with them knowledge of road building, architecture, advanced agriculture, and countless other innovations. Much of this has been contested by modern historians, especially earth ponies who insist their tribe has always held the magic to coax seeds from the ground. While none of this can be confirmed, we do know that the offspring of humans have carried with them a portion of what has been dubbed the human spirit, which is said to have birthed many greats in pony history. Many of the scholars, artists, builders, and even commanders we read about in history books can trace their origins back to human ponies to some degree. As an illustration, it is widely believed that Starswirl the Bearded was the grandfoal of a human mare.

After centuries of resistance and adherence to ancient traditions, the potential of humans was eventually accepted and even sought after by ponies. Though any tribe was capable of producing the ponification potion, its effect of turning a human into which ever tribe best suited them resulted in many battles over ownership of the newly formed human pony. Once ownership was established, human ponies were generally granted positions of power or married to other high ranking ponies.

As a result, if I might go back to biology, many of the physical features associated with human ponies have been integrated into pony society as an indicator of good breeding. Features like the smaller eyes are considered by many to be highly attractive, especially among the nobility, as they are believed to suggest a pony may hold the potential for the greatness of legend. However, this is grossly exaggerated.

While it is true that there is a connection between the blood of humans and the probable success of a pony, there are so few humans the blood lines have been almost entirely diluted to make the effects virtually negligible. Some have speculated that it is for this very reason that the aristocracy is organized as it is, to protect the human bloodlines which once gave their houses such power. It is for this very reason that makes Gregory such a desirable stud. I trust you won’t mind simply allowing the nobility access to his services as a breeder.

Maud found that last line peculiar. Of course she wouldn’t mind. Courting a desirable stud was a virtually universal fantasy among fillies. It was like saying to the world “this amazing stallion belongs to me, but I’ll be generous and let you borrow him for a little bit.” Sure it was a little petty, but everypony had such fantasies from time to time. Why would it be an issue here?

Behavior

Jumping off my last point, let’s delve a little into the key differences between human ponies and the other tribes. In the human world, the male to female ratio is 1:1, as opposed to Equestria where it’s roughly 1:4. As such, humans are generally a monogamous species. In most cases this notion is strictly enforced by their native religions. This is accompanied by a world view that discourages sexual relations outside of marriage. Exceptions vary based on era and region, but this is still a good standard.

Maud nodded, starting to understand.

As a male, Gregory will still have a biological urge to spread his seed to ensure genetic survival. But he also carries human views which, as I have confirmed through discussions with him, instill a belief of total commitment to a single lover. Further, as will be more relevant to your immediate relationship, you may have noticed that Gregory’s behavior deviates outside of what is considered the norm for stallions. For example, he might insist on holding the door open for you instead of you holding the door for him. This is due to the human’s reversed notion on sex roles. In human society it is the males who are considered the more proactive members of society while the females are more passive. There is, of course, considerable variance, but again this does seem to be the standard most humans tend to follow.

Maud nodded along. She’d indeed noticed such behavior and had wondered if something like this might have been the case. It had led to more than a few misunderstandings when he failed to show the proper signals she’d learned to expect from a stallion returning a mare’s interest. Initially she feared this meant he wasn’t interested in her at all, only for him to start coming onto her as though they were both mares. It was very confusing and part of the motivation behind this very letter.

While true of any relationship, open communication will be all the more critical in order to overcome such hurdles. Further, while I imagine you were hoping for a cheat sheet on how human pony behavior differs from normal ponies, I’m afraid that would be rather difficult. Enclosed is a copy of the transcript of our conversations, along with my own notes on the matter as well as comparisons to how such behaviors differ from humans of the past.

Maud glanced down at the dictionary sized packet of papers that had accompanied the letter and felt a foreboding sense of dread.

And while it pains me to say this, [Spike: it really does.], I’m afraid a pony’s behavior simply cannot be summed up in a report. For example, he claims that sex roles are generally much less strictly enforced in his part of the world and that efforts are being made for a more egalitarian relationship between the sexes. Theoretically, this would make his culture more comparable to our own and may tempt you to treat him more like a mare than a stallion. However, this is juxtaposed with political and social movements in his world declaring that a male looking at a woman in a manner she does not approve of is a form of assault.

Maud felt her heart lurch as she imagined the implications of such ideals.

Yet he insists that he dismisses such behavior as absurd and dangerous.

Maud exhaled in relief.

What I’m trying to say is that the best thing you can do is just talk with him. Get to know each other as individuals and do your best to not let old prejudices cloud your views. Just go with the flow and deal with things as they are, not how you think they should be. I’ve left bookmarks in my notes to parts I felt would be especially relevant, but otherwise I advise you use them as a loose reference rather than strict rules.

Maud nodded as she read the last of Twilight’s letter wrap up, including the part where she requested that Maud deliver an apology from Twilight to Gregory, before setting the paper down. It had proven an enlightening read and Maud peered down at the red book marks protruding from the stack of papers. The task before her suddenly became much less daunting as she realized that, as an alien to their world, Gregory was no doubt going through even more trials just to acclimate. The least she owed him was to make the attempt to see things from his point of view.

Author's Notes:

Maud gets some handy dandy notes from Twilight on human behavior. Lot’s of world building here. I repeat some past facts, but compile it all together and then some for easy access.